Intro

[Guest guest]

Hi Theresa!

Welcome to the list! Boy....sounds like you have your hands full! How do you

find time to make soap?

Terri

Intro

> Hi,

> I am stepping up and taking my turn...

> I started my soap business 2 years ago, tho I have been making soap for 5

> years. Just love goat milk soaps!

> I am married with 3 kids (2 legged)ages 10, 7, 2. I live on a farm where

we

> raise dairy goats nubian & saanen)as of today 32 (4 legged kids), a TB

> horse, a hinny, 3 dogs, 8 barncats, chickens & ducks and a few goldfish.

> Hoping I didn't leave out anything...lol.

> Wondering if anyone knows where to purchase a roll on style deoderant

> containers? I make an liquid herbal deoderant that really works for me.

> Happy to hear any ideas.

> Terry

>

> Terry@...

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I live near Cazenovia

:-)

Terry

Terry@...

RE: Intro

, where do you live if you dont mind me asking?

[Guest guest]

HI Teela!

Glad to have you on the list! Hold on while I catch my breath after

reading your intro!! You mentioned that you live in a small ontario town -

where? I'm in Ottawa-Carleton. Perhaps we can brainstorm together and come

up with some ideas for resources.

You will definatly find parents here in similar situations with their

children and clothing, food, control over their body,.... and hopefully

we'll be able to help you through some tough times! I dont know if you will

get this in time, but perhaps you can join our chat tonight? If you have

the time, take a look at the FILES and LINKS from our website

for more information.

You also mention that you have ocd. Are you accessing a cognitive

behavioural therapist? Are you using medication and/or " ERP " for treatment?

Did the doctor who made the diagnosis in your daughter offer anything other

than a name?

My regular blurb to new parents is to remember to take care of yourself!

You are your daughters main support at this point - if you collapse,

everything will be effected. Let us know how we can help.

take care, wendy, in canada wb4@...

==========================================================

>hi I just wanted to introduce myself. I am a single mother of a 4 year old

>girl and 16 weeks pregnant. My daughter has just been assessed as having

>Ocd. We have spent 4 years trying to find someone to help us. My daughter

>has always been intense and extreme. At 6

>months it was colic, at 9 months it was drop attacks, at 2 years it was

>that she is spoiled, at 3 it was that I had no control, and finally at 4 we

>ahve found a Dr. who will listen. Textures of foods make her vomit, clothes

>drive her into a frenzy, seams on socks, waistbands on pants, short

>sleeves, long sleeves, she won't wear mittens or hats, nothing in her hair,

>won't zip up her coat or do up buttons, won't wear a seatbelt and we are

>prisoners of the transit system, which by the way in a small ontario town

>really sucks! My dr has recently said pick the thing least likely to cause

>a response and try to prevent it but how can I pick something when my child

>wears her panties around her knees, won't wear laces in her shoes, etc? I

>can't send her to daycare naked. >Oh and right after this he said I have

>definate signs of ocd and she has inherited it from me. Wow. It has been a

>rough time. I thought I would see what other

>parents are doing to cope. Thanks for your time, Teela

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[Guest guest]

hi I just wanted to introduce myself. I am a single

mother of a 4 year old girl and 16 weeks pregnant. My

daughter has just been assessed as having Ocd. We have

spent 4 years trying to find someone to help us. My

daughter has always been intense and extreme. At 6

months it was colic, at 9 months it was drop attacks,

at 2 years it was that she is spoiled, at 3 it was

that I had no control, and finally at 4 we ahve found

a Dr. who will listen. Textures of foods make her

vomit, clothes drive her into a frenzy, seams on

socks, waistbands on pants, short sleeves, long

sleeves, she won't wear mittens or hats, nothing in

her hair, won't zip up her coat or do up buttons,

won't wear a seatbelt and we are prisoners of the

transit system, which by the way in a small ontario

town really sucks! My dr has recently said pick the

thing least likely to cause a response and try to

prevent it but how can I pick something when my child

wears her panties around her knees, won't wear laces

in her shoes, etc? I can't send her to daycare naked.

Oh and right after this he said I have definate signs

of ocd and she has inherited it from me. Wow. It has

been a rough time. I thought I would see what other

parents are doing to cope. Thanks for your time, Teela

_______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Teela ... here are a bunch of links to sites that might prove helpful to both

you and your daughter.

<A HREF= " http://www.tourettesyndrome.net/ " >

</A>C<A HREF= " http://www.brainphysics.com/ocd/list.html " >hecklist of Common

OCD Symptoms</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocdhelp.org/faq.html " >OCD?</A>

<A HREF= " http://brainphysics.com/ocd/ybocs.html#test " >Yale-Brown

Obsessive-Compulsive Scale (Y-BOCS)</A>

<A HREF= " http://neuron.med.wayne.edu/OCD/childocd.htm " >Children and

Adolescents with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocsda.org/tools/cc-checklist.html " >Child's Compulsions

Checklist for OCD</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocsda.org/tools/co-checklist.html " >Child's Obsessions

Checklist for OCD</A>

<A

HREF= " http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/OCD/Site/Transcripts/OCD_cbt.htm

" >Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, OCD Treatment, CBT</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocfoundation.org/ " >Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocdhelp.org/tools/ybocs.html#test " >YBOCS Form for OCD</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocsda.org/ " >OC & Spectrum Disorders Association</A>

Peggikaye ... Oklahoma

come visit <A

HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/mom2tazbug/myhomepage/index.html " > </A>T<A

HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/mom2tazbug/index.html " >he Eagler Family ...

tree?</A>

or 's Page <A HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/eaglet2eagle/index.html " >

Me and my stuff</A>

or <A HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/mankey2primeape/index.html " >'s

Page</A>

or look at my first attempt at a homepage at

<A HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/mom2tazbug/myhomepage/index.html " >The

Eagler Family Zoo</A>

[Guest guest]

Teela ... here are a bunch of links to sites that might prove helpful to both

you and your daughter.

<A HREF= " http://www.tourettesyndrome.net/ " >

</A>C<A HREF= " http://www.brainphysics.com/ocd/list.html " >hecklist of Common

OCD Symptoms</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocdhelp.org/faq.html " >OCD?</A>

<A HREF= " http://brainphysics.com/ocd/ybocs.html#test " >Yale-Brown

Obsessive-Compulsive Scale (Y-BOCS)</A>

<A HREF= " http://neuron.med.wayne.edu/OCD/childocd.htm " >Children and

Adolescents with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocsda.org/tools/cc-checklist.html " >Child's Compulsions

Checklist for OCD</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocsda.org/tools/co-checklist.html " >Child's Obsessions

Checklist for OCD</A>

<A

HREF= " http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/OCD/Site/Transcripts/OCD_cbt.htm

" >Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, OCD Treatment, CBT</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocfoundation.org/ " >Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocdhelp.org/tools/ybocs.html#test " >YBOCS Form for OCD</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.ocsda.org/ " >OC & Spectrum Disorders Association</A>

Peggikaye ... Oklahoma

come visit <A

HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/mom2tazbug/myhomepage/index.html " > </A>T<A

HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/mom2tazbug/index.html " >he Eagler Family ...

tree?</A>

or 's Page <A HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/eaglet2eagle/index.html " >

Me and my stuff</A>

or <A HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/mankey2primeape/index.html " >'s

Page</A>

or look at my first attempt at a homepage at

<A HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/mom2tazbug/myhomepage/index.html " >The

Eagler Family Zoo</A>

[Guest guest]

Hi, I am in Belleville. At this point the Dr. hasn't

offered much beyond a name and a couple of books I

need to buy. He is doing blood work and allergy and

parasite testing as well. I haven't seen a dr about

myself having ocd as this is a pediatric therapist. He

wants me to go to a dr myself. I didn't realize

anything was wrong I just figured I had a few quirks

and have developed coping skills over time. I have a

gret deal of trouble with people in my space, with the

exception of my daughter. I have some rituals and

compulsions and vivid images but just did a thats life

and went on. I will see what the dr says but I am more

interested in helping Summer cope. He said this baby

may have it also. Thanks Teela

_______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi, I am in Belleville. At this point the Dr. hasn't

offered much beyond a name and a couple of books I

need to buy. He is doing blood work and allergy and

parasite testing as well. I haven't seen a dr about

myself having ocd as this is a pediatric therapist. He

wants me to go to a dr myself. I didn't realize

anything was wrong I just figured I had a few quirks

and have developed coping skills over time. I have a

gret deal of trouble with people in my space, with the

exception of my daughter. I have some rituals and

compulsions and vivid images but just did a thats life

and went on. I will see what the dr says but I am more

interested in helping Summer cope. He said this baby

may have it also. Thanks Teela

_______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Teela:

Welcome to the group. What you describe sounds suspiciously like SID (sensory

integrative disorder) as opposed to OCD. I would try to get a copy of the Out

of Synch Child by Kranowitz (Perigee; ISBN: 0399523863). Many of our ocd'ers

have sensory issues also, but they usually exhibit obsessions and compulsions.

Does your daughter have a need to line things up, repeat an action or phrase, or

have a fear of germs, wash her hands excessively, etc.? I would strongly

encourage you to do some reading about OCD and SID as soon as you can. There is

a lot of information about ocd at the OC Foundation website:

www.ocfoundation.org, and also in the archives of our listserv.

You have certainly come to the right place for support and information. This is

a great group. As mentioned, there is a group chat at 10 EST tonight. If

you're able to join us, we can answer your questions in " real " time (more or

less, as sometimes the chat is slow).

I am the parent of a 12 yo with OCD who was diagnosed at 9. He has a lot of

other alphabet soup as well. I have found a great deal of support and made many

wonderful friends through this list. I also encourage people on the list to

become involved with NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) -- their

website is www.nami.org. This is a grassroots organization that offers

education and support to consumers and family members regarding mental illness.

BTW, why does the doc think you have ocd?

Jule in Cleveland, OH

[Guest guest]

Teela:

Welcome to the group. What you describe sounds suspiciously like SID (sensory

integrative disorder) as opposed to OCD. I would try to get a copy of the Out

of Synch Child by Kranowitz (Perigee; ISBN: 0399523863). Many of our ocd'ers

have sensory issues also, but they usually exhibit obsessions and compulsions.

Does your daughter have a need to line things up, repeat an action or phrase, or

have a fear of germs, wash her hands excessively, etc.? I would strongly

encourage you to do some reading about OCD and SID as soon as you can. There is

a lot of information about ocd at the OC Foundation website:

www.ocfoundation.org, and also in the archives of our listserv.

You have certainly come to the right place for support and information. This is

a great group. As mentioned, there is a group chat at 10 EST tonight. If

you're able to join us, we can answer your questions in " real " time (more or

less, as sometimes the chat is slow).

I am the parent of a 12 yo with OCD who was diagnosed at 9. He has a lot of

other alphabet soup as well. I have found a great deal of support and made many

wonderful friends through this list. I also encourage people on the list to

become involved with NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) -- their

website is www.nami.org. This is a grassroots organization that offers

education and support to consumers and family members regarding mental illness.

BTW, why does the doc think you have ocd?

Jule in Cleveland, OH

[Guest guest]

Hi Teela:

Welcome to the list. I am glad to read that you are finally finding

knowledgeable help for your daughter. It must have been very upsetting and

frustrating to have dealt with all this difficulty and blaming for what is

a no-fault brain disorder.

I think you will find the information other parents on this list can share

about sensory integration disorder possibly helpful. Many of our kids have

clothing issues, food issues, etc.

I hope that your doctor shared with you that there are good treatments for

OCD. Generally for one as young as your daughter the suggested approach,

based on the Expert Consensus guidelines, is to start her with cognitive

behavior therapy (CBT) including exposure and response prevention (E & RP).

The tricky part is to find a skilled therapist who can work with a young

child. We have two docs who are advisors on this list who work with young

kids but they do not live in Canada.

Many of our kids also take medications to help with the OCD symptoms.

These meds are the SSRIs, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors.

Early intervention and treatment offers the most promising prognosis for

your daughter. My son, Steve, now 13 has gotten his life back from severe

OCD thanks to these treatments. IT is not easy but I would go through it

all again in a heart beat to get him back, it has been nothing short of

miraculous.

re; genetic basis of OCD. So far no one knows what causes OCD. Certainly

there is some compelling information pointing to a biological basis for

this disorder. When Steve was first diagnosed I thought that he inherited

this from his father's side of the family as that was where we knew of

mental illness. Last October I found out my nephew (my brother's son) also

has OCD so I learned my son inherited his predisposition to OCD from me. I

do not have OCD myself but I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) which

I suspect is genetically related to OCD. I take Effexor and do CBT to

treat my GAD and it is really helping me.

Good luck, hoping to read more of your posts soon, take care, aloha, Kathy (H)

kathyh@...

10/22/2000 -0400, you wrote:

>hi I just wanted to introduce myself. I am a single

>mother of a 4 year old girl and 16 weeks pregnant. My

>daughter has just been assessed as having Ocd. We have

>spent 4 years trying to find someone to help us. My

>daughter has always been intense and extreme. At 6

>months it was colic, at 9 months it was drop attacks,

>at 2 years it was that she is spoiled, at 3 it was

>that I had no control, and finally at 4 we ahve found

>a Dr. who will listen. Textures of foods make her

>vomit, clothes drive her into a frenzy, seams on

>socks, waistbands on pants, short sleeves, long

>sleeves, she won't wear mittens or hats, nothing in

>her hair, won't zip up her coat or do up buttons,

>won't wear a seatbelt and we are prisoners of the

>transit system, which by the way in a small ontario

>town really sucks! My dr has recently said pick the

>thing least likely to cause a response and try to

>prevent it but how can I pick something when my child

>wears her panties around her knees, won't wear laces

>in her shoes, etc? I can't send her to daycare naked.

>Oh and right after this he said I have definate signs

>of ocd and she has inherited it from me. Wow. It has

>been a rough time. I thought I would see what other

>parents are doing to cope. Thanks for your time, Teela

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Teela, a lot of what you've written about your daughter is familiar

to me as the mom of a six-year-old who had an OCD onset at age four. You've

had a long road getting help for your child and I'm glad you've now found a

doctor who will listen to your concerns. My child has made incredible

progress over the past two years through E & RP and meds, and can these days

wear any clothing she chooses.

> Textures of foods make her

> vomit, clothes drive her into a frenzy, seams on

> socks, waistbands on pants, short sleeves, long

> sleeves, she won't wear mittens or hats, nothing in

> her hair, won't zip up her coat or do up buttons,

> won't wear a seatbelt and we are prisoners of the

> transit system, which by the way in a small ontario

> town really sucks! My dr has recently said pick the

> thing least likely to cause a response and try to

> prevent it but how can I pick something when my child

> wears her panties around her knees, won't wear laces

> in her shoes, etc? I can't send her to daycare naked.

My child has had sensory problems such as these virtually since birth,

primarily hot/cold, loud noise, textures, and various clothing problems. As

a 6-month-old baby I noticed she would get very fussy and hard to calm

wearing a certain denim outfit, but when I took it off she reverted to her

usual sunny self, the change was dramatic.

My daughter (around age 5 1/2) was able to begin reducing her clothing

problems by choosing the least-problem-causing piece of clothing, and

wearing it for increasing periods of time at home until OCD " forgot about

it " , as she explains it. She then moved on to the

next-to-least-problem-causing piece of clothing and repeated the process.

This approach is perhaps what your doctor is suggesting, though I don't see

how you can *prevent* her anxiety response. Instead, if your daughter can

only pull her panties up to her knees, you could then encourage her to pull

them a little higher, wait a little longer each time until the yucky feeling

passes. Work on one piece of clothing at a time, praise her lavishly for

*any* progress or even a good try, and dangle a reward for when she is able

to keep her undies on her bottom during agreed-upon periods, such as while

at school. Tell her that a " big girl " in Indiana had these very same

problems with clothes, and this is how she made the yucky feelings go away--

:-)

My daughter was motivated to work on clothing problems since she herself

wanted to wear tights, headbands, dresses, etc. as other girls do. Others

on the list have described clothing problems related to OCD obsessions that

the clothing is contaminated, but for my girl the problems seemed solely

sensory-related.

> Oh and right after this he said I have definate signs

> of ocd and she has inherited it from me. Wow. It has

> been a rough time. I thought I would see what other

> parents are doing to cope. Thanks for your time, Teela

There may be a hereditary component in OCD but from what I've read, a child

of someone with OCD has an increased, but still pretty low, chance of having

the disorder. In any case your daughter got it from the same place you did,

and there's no point in borrowing trouble that your unborn child will have

it as well. All of us pass good and some not-so-good genes on to our

children, and I hope you are able to realize you are not responsible for

your daughter's OCD.

Write again and let us know how things are going,

Kathy R. in Indiana

[Guest guest]

Hi Jule, thanks for the welcome. I ahd read some of

that book and had discussed it with my dr and he seems

to disagree. I jaut don't know what to do. He said

that ocd had such a wide spectrum and soon it will

manifest itself. I must say when he says that I feel

like I need an exorcist instead of a dr. sorry if I

don't have humour I may loose my mind. I too feel like

it is more low sensory threshold or sensory

integration disorder but we shall see. She had

recently developed a really need to sort her toys.

Thanks Teela

_______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thanks for those links, much appreaciated! Hugs Teela

_______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Teela, a lot of kids with OCD also have SID, etc. Mine did, for example. The SID things were what we noticed first, but the OCD things continued to develop. Your doctor is probably right.

Judy

Re: intro

Hi Jule, thanks for the welcome. I ahd read some ofthat book and had discussed it with my dr and he seemsto disagree. I jaut don't know what to do. He saidthat ocd had such a wide spectrum and soon it willmanifest itself. I must say when he says that I feellike I need an exorcist instead of a dr. sorry if Idon't have humour I may loose my mind. I too feel likeit is more low sensory threshold or sensoryintegration disorder but we shall see. She hadrecently developed a really need to sort her toys.Thanks Teela

[Guest guest]

Thanks Judy I seem to get such different messages for

the different agencies. A couple have been telling me

she is too young to have it but others say thay just

don't deal with it. We shall see. Teela

_______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

hi lori,

welcome to the lsit--glad you are here!! i hope you get eh support and info

you are looking for. this list has lots to offer, so if you have a question,

ask away.

brigit

[Guest guest]

Hi Lori and Welcome! My name is , I am a SAHM of a 4 year old and a soon to be 3 year old. My first child would have been 9 years old this coming January, unfortunately she passed away from a reaction to a DTP vaccine at age of 17 months. My other two children have not and never will be vaccinated because of that. I am all most finished with the legal side of my case, going through the compensation program (will go into more details after it is all over with, hopefully in January.) I do have a web site in my daughter's memory, you visit it by going to http://www.geocities.com/heartland/flats/6997/ I have spent the past 7 + years researching the vaccine issue, so if you ever have questions, please feel free to e-mail me. Anyhow, you (or anyone else that is interested) can e-mail me privately at michelle_m93@... currently I am only using my MSN e-mail account for the e-mail groups (get over whelming amount of e-mails), and if anyone tries to reply to me on the group, I may end up deleting it by accident because I honestly don't have time to sit and read 25 + e-mails a day from the board, plus all non-group e-mails. So if you need or want to contact me directly, just use my hotmail e-mail address in order to make sure it reaches me. Hate to have to cut this short, but I really do have to run. Best of luck to you!! Intro Hi friends- I thought I'd offer a brief intro- I joined the group yesterday and already have benefited from your postings. My name is Lori, married for ten years to my partner , mother of two boys- 9 years and 2 1/2 months. Our first boy Orion was not vaccinated at all until the age of six when we were to travel for extended periods in India. Even then we were very selective with the vaccines we chose. That was a few years ago- and now we have little Max in our midst. So, my motivation for joining the group is to obtain current information on the vaccines so that I will be well-informed as I prepare to battle it out with society (i.e. family, doctors, schools etc) once again! I really look forward to reading the posts here and hopefully will have something to contribute from time to time. Best wishes, Lori ___________________________________________________________Get more from your time online. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

> I just joined this list and hope to become a good member. if there

> are any rules and regulation I should know about please tell me

> quickly so I make no mistakes. my name is ANgie and I have

Relapsing

> Polychondritis with a lot of other autoimmune dieases to compound

> that problem. I will answer more if asked

**Hi Angie :-)

let me be the first to welcome you to our group! You will love it

here, there are quite a few of us now, but you will get to know us

all soon. This is my favourite group by far, everyone is family here.

Excuse my ignorance, but could you tell me about Relapsing

Polychondritus? What other diseases are causing probs? Many of us

here have AI's, also. Where do you hail from? I live in Canberra

Australia.

Dont worry about making mistakes, we are all here to offer support to

others, and ask for support when we need it.

Talk to you soon

:-)

[Guest guest]

Welcome aboard Angie. We are glad to have you here. Also

please feel free to e-mail me privately any time if you

ever need to have a good private cry.

=====

Kristy

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Falls/4659/kristyspage.html

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Welcome Angie! You are going to love it here! Tell us more about Relapsing

Polychondritis.

4

<< I just joined this list and hope to become a good member. if there

are any rules and regulation I should know about please tell me

quickly so I make no mistakes. my name is ANgie and I have Relapsing

Polychondritis with a lot of other autoimmune dieases to compound

that problem. I will answer more if asked

>>

[Guest guest]

Hi Angie!

Welcome to the list. Sorry for the delay in welcoming you...this week is finals

week for me and I've been busy studying!! lol

I'm so glad you found us!! *hugs*

Angie Cenneno wrote:

> I just joined this list and hope to become a good member. if there

> are any rules and regulation I should know about please tell me

> quickly so I make no mistakes. my name is ANgie and I have Relapsing

> Polychondritis with a lot of other autoimmune dieases to compound

> that problem. I will answer more if asked

>

> The Being Sick Community

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> “Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you

believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do

even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to

let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

[Guest guest]

Hi Jules and welcome! You certainly are having a time of it right now

aren't you? Vent and rant all you like here, that's what we're here for.

You most definitely are not alone anymore!

Blessed Be

anne

[Guest guest]

Welcome Jules

This is a great group of caring people.Most of us have illnesses that have no

cure and we are here to support each other. Someone is online anytime usually

day or night.Hope We can do the same for you.

Hugs

Carolyn

[Guest guest]

Jules,

Welcome, always remember we are on your side and we care about you no matter

what...

(((((HUGS)))))

Chelle (4)

hello, all....

my name is /Jules... i'm 29 yo, single female, who lives

no-where! ;-(

at this point in time i'm staying with friends in NJ, but practically

everything i own (clothes, books, yarn, bed!) is at my bf's house up

in NH... a few months ago, while on a trip south to live with my sister

i found out that NH-DMV " discovered " my epilepsy and wanted me to have

a physical examination to determine that i was not a threat to

public safety while driving a car (fair enough.)......

my seizures (grand-mal) are catamenial (i have a grand-mal 2 or

3 days before i begin menstruating), and they are also nocturnal

in that i only seem to have them after i've been sleeping for an

hour or so... these facts, along with the fact that my seizures

are preceeded by auras, made me think that it wouldn't be too much

of a hassle getting my license back....

how wrong i was.

so now, i'm depending upon the kindness of friends (again), sleeping

on the floor (again), and spending whatever *sane* moments i have

arguing on the phone with gov.workers and doctors (again!!!)....

the rest of the time, i spend crying.

yesterday was bad, very bad... and i suddenly became very afraid of

the harm i could do to myself.... i've been diagnosed as suffering

from PTSD, and anorexia (stemming more from emetephobia, than a

desire to lose weight)..... i realized i was creeping " back inside "

and frankly, i'm terrified.

i don't expect anyone to solve my problems for me, but i need

so much to believe that there are people out there who are

" on my side " ......

blessings,

Jules

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