Depression

[Guest guest]

laying around in bed seems to be more painful -- I have to change

positions fairly often

the physical therapist had recommended all the places I have visited -

- they are fairly flat and have lots of benches for resting as needed

it has been a little painful to get started every day, but each day

has gotten easier than the day before.

I stayed in today to be close to the bathroom and I really wish I had

gotten out. Hubby is doing a pretty good job of packing and I am

reading a really good book. We are hoping to head home tomorrow.

My back only hurts if I lie on it too long. Most of my pain is the

numb/tingly right thigh. Walking seems to be helping that.

I have some pain at the base of my incision where it has been

bleeding. I wonder if I have just sweated too much. I have been

trying to do most of my walking indoors since it has been so hot.

> > >

> > > Hi, I am feeling so depressed lately. I feel I can't get this

> whole

> > > thing about surgery out of my mind, of course it doesn't help

> that

> > I am

> > > constantly reminded because of leg.

> > > I just cry at the drop of the hat, I just want to get on with

my

> > > life.......And I am so scared of what my life is going to be

like

> > once

> > > I do have surgey. Hope did you guys coop with the before? any

> > > suggestions that can help me not be so dammed depressed. I am

> > taking

> > > cymbalta for pain but it helps depression too.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It is incredible and encouraging for me to hear you are up and walking so soon, I went to the shopping mall with my 12 year and that about killed me.....I feel so bad that I can't do anything lately with her. I am taking inventory of all the things I will have to look foward to, so I can add walking I guess. When you are walking does it hurt? Carol <dcvaughan@...> wrote: Gee--How can you do all that walking this soon after surgery? I'm still

in so much tailbone/lower back pain that I can only make it around the inside of the house several times a day!!! Yikes!!!!Carol V. > >> > Hi, I am feeling so depressed lately. I feel I can't get this whole > > thing about surgery out of my mind, of course it doesn't help that > I am > > constantly reminded because of leg. > > I just cry at the drop of the hat, I just want to get on with my > > life.......And I am so scared of what my life is going to be like

> once > > I do have surgey. Hope did you guys coop with the before? any > > suggestions that can help me not be so dammed depressed. I am > taking > > cymbalta for pain but it helps depression too.> > > > > > > >>

It's here! Your new message!Get

new email alerts with the free Toolbar.

[Guest guest]

Carol, did you have anterior surgery? Suzanne didn't so maybe that accounts for the rapid bounce-back.

Sharon

[ ] Re: Depression

Gee--How can you do all that walking this soon after surgery? I'm still in so much tailbone/lower back pain that I can only make it around the inside of the house several times a day!!! Yikes!!!!Carol V. > >> > Hi, I am feeling so depressed lately. I feel I can't get this whole > > thing about surgery out of my mind, of course it doesn't help that > I am > > constantly reminded because of leg. > > I just cry at the drop of the hat, I just want to get on with my > > life.......And I am so scared of what my life is going to be like > once > > I do have surgey. Hope did you guys coop with the before? any > > suggestions that can help me not be so dammed depressed. I am > taking > > cymbalta for pain but it helps depression too.> > > > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

I wonder if very fit has more to do with it - when I had my first surgery @ just short of 21, it was a/p and the day after I was discharged from hospital I went off shopping to a town 25 mins drive away!! My revision @ 29 was posterior only, and 4 weeks after discharge I was still pretty much housebound. 5.5 weeks, and I was starting to feel a whole load better and suddenly knew I really could make it to my first post-op appointment, where I'd honestly thought even just 3 or 4 days earlier that there was no way it was happening. I was in pretty ropey shape physically before the revision though.

titch

On 4/2/07, Sharon Green <sharon.green18@...> wrote:

Carol, did you have anterior surgery? Suzanne didn't so maybe that accounts for the rapid bounce-back.

Sharon

..

-- Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end. - Hawking

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

First all this isn't fair! To have to have this second go around with all this after what we had been through as kids, it plain sucks! Again not fair! First I was MAD, at everyone from my former surgeon who said I was " Healed" to my Harrington Rod. I just didn't want to go through all that again, I think all of us can go right back in our minds to our hospital stay for our Harrington Rod surgery like it was yesterday( and mine was 34 years ago). I was mad that my husband and family just didn't get that this was WAY more than a little back surgery. It's easy to drown in all of this, the unfairness, the family and friends that just don't get it, how am I going to be afterwards, how scared you are, all this is normal.

I think the best gift you can give yourself going into all this is knowledge. I read everything I could get my hands on, asked about a million questions. I had a sureness about my doc and his plan, also a gift, so I knew I had those ducks in a row, very comforting. For those close to me, I educated them too, printed internet articles on Flatback, used my x-rays to explain what had gone wrong and how they were going to fix it.I wrote a long letter to all my kids teachers explaining the surgery, that the kids would need support during all this, not for just a week or a month, but for months while I healed. I think for any Mom going into all this your kids are your biggest worry, that you'll be okay for them, and that they will come through all this fine. I went about making sure they had tons of supports, both for day to day stuff but emotionally too. I had a plan and a list of everything needing to be done, just checked things off, and it felt empowering, I was working towards my surgery and outcome. I had to give the surgery part to Dr. Kumar and Dr. O'Brien, and I had confidence in them and their skills, that they would take care of me and get me to where I wanted to be. I had then after I had gotten the kids and family and friends settled, to get my mind wrapped around my job, healing! Going into each of my surgeries, I just kept in my head the vision of me being well, I actually in my mind SAW myself well. I know it sounds out there and a bit like organic hippydom, but it's kinda like keeping your eye on the prize, and not letting go of it. That way you are in a postitive place going into all this.I felt like it was my own contribution to the surgery, doc's do the hard physical work, but the healing is all up to you, and just as important.

Depression is there sure, you wouldn't be human if it wasn't, and boy did I have my moments, especially after my first revision needed to be redone, but you have to make a plan, get all those around you up to speed, see yourself as you want to be, walking and standing with less pain or painfree, to be tall and standing upright.The key is to keep yourself knowing that all this has a purpose, to get you well, and keep your eye on the prize. I know it sounds easy to say, but thats how I handled my surgeries, surgery wasn't happening to me, I was right there working along side my surgeon to get my best outcome, we are and were a team. It truly gave me peace.

[ ] Depression

Hi, I am feeling so depressed lately. I feel I can't get this whole thing about surgery out of my mind, of course it doesn't help that I am constantly reminded because of leg. I just cry at the drop of the hat, I just want to get on with my life.......And I am so scared of what my life is going to be like once I do have surgey. Hope did you guys coop with the before? any suggestions that can help me not be so dammed depressed. I am taking cymbalta for pain but it helps depression too.

[Guest guest]

,

I can relate to your depression. I went through that also and again

about 4 months post surgery. I take Lexapro even now. THIS surgery

is a life changing event. It is the core of your being, your spine that is

being worked on. It is OK, it will all work out. I needed to change my

attitude. THIS was a life changing event for the better. I needed to think

that I only need to suffer for a bit and then I will begin to reap the

quality of life that I seek. I began to look at it instead of life threatening

as life giving. I would be able to DO again. See a therapist, talk to

friends here at the forum or hubby. Whoever will listen. If you can write

then write about it if not get a recorder and speak your concerns, fears

out of you. FIND and attach yourself to HOPE. I had faith and used that

to help and I also wrote. Search for your release.

[Guest guest]

Yes, I did. I have been having most of my pain in my lower back/tail

bone area, though. The area around the anterior incision has been

hurting the past few days, though. Don't know what it is...perhaps

scar tissue starting to form? Dr. Hu said she rain into some scar

tissure when she went in that way...had to get a vascular surgeon in

to straighten it all out.

Carol V.

> > >

> > > Hi, I am feeling so depressed lately. I feel I can't get this

> whole

> > > thing about surgery out of my mind, of course it doesn't help

> that

> > I am

> > > constantly reminded because of leg.

> > > I just cry at the drop of the hat, I just want to get on with

my

> > > life.......And I am so scared of what my life is going to be

like

> > once

> > > I do have surgey. Hope did you guys coop with the before? any

> > > suggestions that can help me not be so dammed depressed. I am

> > taking

> > > cymbalta for pain but it helps depression too.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

, Thank you for your words they do help...........And I love the fact that I can express my feelings here and read others experience and/or advice it is a life changing event that caught me totally by suprised . I am hoping once I pick my surgeon and set the date I will have alot to do and not have time to feel so blue It sucks so bad, I wonder if I could deal with it better if I wasn't so much in pain <vclark@...> wrote: ,I can relate to your depression. I went through that also and againabout 4 months post surgery. I take Lexapro even now. THIS surgeryis a life changing event. It is the core of your being, your spine that isbeing worked on. It is OK, it will all work out. I needed to change myattitude. THIS was a life changing event for the better. I needed to thinkthat I only need to suffer for a bit and then I will begin to reap thequality of life that I seek. I began to look at it instead of life threateningas life giving. I would be able to DO again. See a therapist, talk tofriends here at the forum or hubby. Whoever will listen. If you can writethen write about it if not get a recorder and speak your concerns, fearsout of you. FIND and attach yourself to HOPE. I had faith and used thatto help and I also wrote. Search for your release.

Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast with the Search weather shortcut.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I can

certainly relate to your feelings of fear and depression. That’s how I

felt before my own revision surgery four years ago.

I recommend

using hypnotherapy (with a therapist) or self-hypnosis (with a tape) as you

anticipate your surgery. I’ve used hypnosis and self-hypnosis for many

years for a phobia I once had, preparation for surgery, and for pain

management. If you can ‘see’ pictures in your mind with your eyes

closed then you can use hypnosis.

I first went

to a hypnotherapist for my phobia about 18 years ago, and I’ve been to

two others since then. Every therapist is a little different, but basically,

after evaluation, you’re taught to relax more and more deeply. When

you’re ready, the therapist gives instructions (for example,

“imagine the day of surgery”) and you follow them in your mind

using images you imagine.

The

therapist then asks you to describe these images, how you feel, etc. Then

he/she asks you to see alternative, more positive and healthy scenarios (for

example, “imagine you do the day of surgery differently – in a way

that feels better to you. What does that look like? What do you see?”).

It’s amazing how creative the mind can be when it doesn’t have to

revert to language – when it can just play with pictures.

Besides

pursuing hypnotherapy with a therapist, I also like to use a CD called

“Self-Hypnosis” produced by New Harbinger Publications (www.newharbinger.com) for about

$12 plus S & H. I see that they also offer a CD called “Hypnosis for

Coping Before and After Surgery”, although I’ve never personally

tried that one.

Please

let me know if you have any questions.

Best

of luck,

Andy

Stanton

[Guest guest]

Andy, Thank you for the website, I will check it out. My feelings are so mixed up right now, but I don't think I have a fear of the surgery that is right now I may once I set dates. My faith tells me that there is no way you have gone threw all this and something worse is going to happen. I do believe in self hyponsis I remeber from my originial surgery a nurse teaching me some techinques to cope with the pain and it helped. Thanks for your advice Andy Stanton <andystanton@...> wrote: Hi , I can certainly relate to your feelings of fear and depression. That’s how I felt before my own revision surgery four years ago. I recommend using hypnotherapy (with a therapist) or self-hypnosis (with a tape) as you anticipate your surgery. I’ve used hypnosis and self-hypnosis for many years for a phobia I once had, preparation for surgery, and for pain management. If you can ‘see’ pictures in your mind with your eyes

closed then you can use hypnosis. I first went to a hypnotherapist for my phobia about 18 years ago, and I’ve been to two others since then. Every therapist is a little different, but basically, after evaluation, you’re taught to relax more and more deeply. When you’re ready, the therapist gives instructions (for example, “imagine the day of surgery”) and you follow them in your mind using images you imagine. The therapist then asks you to describe these images, how you feel, etc. Then he/she asks you to see alternative, more positive and healthy scenarios (for example, “imagine you do the day of surgery differently – in a way that feels better to you. What does that look like? What do you see?”). It’s amazing how creative

the mind can be when it doesn’t have to revert to language – when it can just play with pictures. Besides pursuing hypnotherapy with a therapist, I also like to use a CD called “Self-Hypnosis” produced by New Harbinger Publications (www.newharbinger.com) for about $12 plus S & H. I see that they also offer a CD called “Hypnosis for Coping Before and After Surgery”, although I’ve never personally tried that one. Please let me

know if you have any questions. Best of luck, Andy Stanton Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games.

Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games.

[Guest guest]

, yes your right it is very easy to dwell in all the negative emotions, that is why I try so hard to work because when I am working the time goes by quicker, the only bad thing right now for me is I have such a long communte to work so by the time I get there my leg is killing me and by the end of the day I am in tears with pain. So then the next morning its so hard to go back to work because I know at the end of the day its going to suck...... I think the thing that is making me so depressed right now (subject to change...lol) is the pain because I am (was) a very active person and all of sudden out of nowhere the pain hit me so hard it stopped all activity for me. The part of having alot of knowledge about what is happening to me and going to happen to me does make me feel better, I can say when I first became a member here I was a newborn baby soaking all the information in, I think I have read everybody's file at least

three times, constantly look at photos, even gone back to first messages, visited all recommended websites at least twice or more. That did help alot and I do feel stronger with that knowledge now if I can get my other emotions in check I can live happily ever after............... I love advice and knowlege Kirkaldie <.Kirkaldie@...> wrote: Dear , First all this isn't fair! To have to have this second go around with all this after what we had been through as kids, it plain sucks! Again not fair! First I was MAD, at everyone from my former surgeon who said I was " Healed" to my Harrington Rod. I just didn't want to go through all that again, I think all of us can go right back in our minds to our hospital stay for our Harrington Rod surgery like it was yesterday( and mine was 34 years ago). I was mad that my husband and family just didn't get that this was WAY more than a little back surgery. It's easy to drown in all of this, the unfairness, the family and friends that just don't get it, how am I going to be afterwards, how scared you are, all this is normal. I think the best gift you can give yourself going into all this is knowledge. I read everything I could get my hands on, asked about a million questions. I

had a sureness about my doc and his plan, also a gift, so I knew I had those ducks in a row, very comforting. For those close to me, I educated them too, printed internet articles on Flatback, used my x-rays to explain what had gone wrong and how they were going to fix it.I wrote a long letter to all my kids teachers explaining the surgery, that the kids would need support during all this, not for just a week or a month, but for months while I healed. I think for any Mom going into all this your kids are your biggest worry, that you'll be okay for them, and that they will come through all this fine. I went about making sure they had tons of supports, both for day to day stuff but emotionally too. I had a plan and a list of everything needing to be done, just checked things off, and it felt empowering, I was working towards my surgery and outcome. I had to give the surgery part to Dr. Kumar and Dr. O'Brien, and I had confidence in them and their skills, that they would

take care of me and get me to where I wanted to be. I had then after I had gotten the kids and family and friends settled, to get my mind wrapped around my job, healing! Going into each of my surgeries, I just kept in my head the vision of me being well, I actually in my mind SAW myself well. I know it sounds out there and a bit like organic hippydom, but it's kinda like keeping your eye on the prize, and not letting go of it. That way you are in a postitive place going into all this.I felt like it was my own contribution to the surgery, doc's do the hard physical work, but the healing is all up to you, and just as important. Depression is there sure, you wouldn't be human if it wasn't, and boy did I have my moments, especially after my first revision needed to be redone, but you have to make a plan, get all those around you up to speed, see yourself as you want to be, walking

and standing with less pain or painfree, to be tall and standing upright.The key is to keep yourself knowing that all this has a purpose, to get you well, and keep your eye on the prize. I know it sounds easy to say, but thats how I handled my surgeries, surgery wasn't happening to me, I was right there working along side my surgeon to get my best outcome, we are and were a team. It truly gave me peace. [ ] Depression Hi, I am feeling so depressed lately. I feel I can't get this whole thing about surgery out of my mind, of course it doesn't help that I am constantly reminded because of leg. I just cry at the drop of the hat, I just want to get on with my life.......And I am so scared of what my life is going to be like once I do have surgey. Hope did you guys coop with the before? any suggestions that can help me not be so dammed depressed. I am taking cymbalta for pain but it helps depression too.

Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Travel to find your fit.

[Guest guest]

Hang in there . Keep talking, it is one therapy that works.

> ,

> I can relate to your depression. I went through that also and again

> about 4 months post surgery. I take Lexapro even now. THIS surgery

> is a life changing event. It is the core of your being, your spine

that is

> being worked on. It is OK, it will all work out. I needed to change

my

> attitude. THIS was a life changing event for the better. I needed

to think

> that I only need to suffer for a bit and then I will begin to reap

the

> quality of life that I seek. I began to look at it instead of life

threatening

> as life giving. I would be able to DO again. See a therapist, talk

to

> friends here at the forum or hubby. Whoever will listen. If you can

write

> then write about it if not get a recorder and speak your concerns,

fears

> out of you. FIND and attach yourself to HOPE. I had faith and used

that

> to help and I also wrote. Search for your release.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast

> with the Search weather shortcut.

>

[Guest guest]

I think I laid around in bed longer and in more pain after the

ovarian tumor surgery. I am soooo glad I haven't had to have

anterior surgery for this yet -- and I hope I fuse up solidly enough

not to need it in six months.

I do also think that being in better physical condition has helped a

lot. Before I had the tumor surgery, I was using my mobility scooter

at work any time I knew I would have to do more than go to my

classroom and back to my car at the end of the day. After having the

surgery, I finally started taking pain medication on a more regular

basis. Where I used to just take my lyrica at bedtime, and the

lortab only if I was in too much pain to sleep (very rarely), I

finally was taking lyrica after I got to work in the mornings. I

couldn't lift my mobility scooter in and out of my car, and I wanted

to get in shape, so I made myself walk.

By the time I left work for this surgery, I was walking two fast laps

around the building (about 1/2 mile) and without my cane every

afternoon. I was swimming for an hour to 90 minutes, and then doing

a 50 minute water aerobics class four days per week. I was working

out with weights and doing strength training on all the muscle groups

of my body on Saturdays and Sundays. I was feeling really good and

having less pain than anytime in the last ten years.

I didn't take my oxycontin at bedtime last night, and I did wake up

in quite a bit of pain this morning (and had some nightmares during

the night, too) If I take the oxycontin every 12 hours, I do much

better. I haven't been taking the percocet very often -- mostly just

after walking the first two days. Now, I try to nap instead. I have

also taken the percocet when the 12 hour schedule for the oxycontin

has gotten crazy (like I didn't want to wake up and take it at

midnight, so I had a percocet when I got up to go to the bathroom at

2 AM).

Plus, I have a pretty high pain threshold. Once I cross it, I am

miserable. But, it takes quite a bit of pain before I am

uncomfortable. I have always had a high pain threshold and until

flatback hit, if I had enough pain to cry, I usually needed a

hospital (kidney stones, gallstones, appendicitis, etc).

Most of my pain is still the burning sensation from anything touching

the numb, tingly right thigh and hip. I think that is why staying in

bed is uncomfortable. I am sure looking forward to being able to

sleep in my own tempurpedic bed again -- but the bed here in the

apartment isn't too bad -- just firm.

I mostly sleep on my left side and flat on my back (or sometimes with

pillow under my knees) because I am too close to the edge of the bed

to sleep on the right side. It is a good thing I like to read in

bed, because it does hurt to sit very long.

I only have two more unread books in my box that I brought with me.

I will probably have to go buy a few more books before Friday.

My parents have sure been in my dreams a lot the last couple of

weeks.

> >

> > Carol, did you have anterior surgery? Suzanne didn't so maybe

that

> accounts for the rapid bounce-back.

> >

> > Sharon

>

[Guest guest]

I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one on Oxycontin here. My

surgeon just sent me home with Percocet. It just wasn't doing the

trick, so I asked my PCP when Ihad my staples out if I could have

something stronger, and he said, yes, so he gave me Oxycontin--one in

morning and 2 at bedtime, and it has helped tremendously. He said I

could take the Percocet in between if I had to, but I think these

docs (surgeons) are to " scared " to give you something stronger to get

you dependent on it or something. I also take Neurontin 600 mg.

every 8 hours and Valium every 8 hrs. The Valium I can take one or

two depending on how I feel. (The Valium is from the PCP too) The

surgeon had sent home only one weeks's worthe of some of these

thinking my local doctor could fill them.

Carol V.

> > >

> > > Carol, did you have anterior surgery? Suzanne didn't so maybe

> that

> > accounts for the rapid bounce-back.

> > >

> > > Sharon

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol, I am 2 yrs post-revision June 8th & I still take MS Contin

so don't feel too bad. Since my surgery though I am happy to say I

now take only a fraction of the dose I needed before plus I am no

longer on anything else. Before the revision even large amts of MS

Contin did not really help the pain so along with that my dr had

ordered Xanax, plus Dilaudid if needed. Just thought I'd let you

know that even almost 2 yrs post-revision I still need something. I

know some of the members of our group do not need anything.

It is all so individual when it comes to this.

Take Care,

Diane B

> > > >

> > > > Carol, did you have anterior surgery? Suzanne didn't so

maybe

> > that

> > > accounts for the rapid bounce-back.

> > > >

> > > > Sharon

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

HI ,

I think the time before the surgery is worse than the time after it, despite the post surgery pain. That's healing pain, after all. Right now, I'm sure you have a lot of "what if's" floating around your brain and the confusion itself can be depressing. After the surgery, at least you know what you're dealing with. And you will have the emotional strength the deal with the recovery, I am sure. You'll have good days and bad days while recovering but as time goes by there will be more and more good days. I can't remember hearing from anyone who was sorry they had revision surgery. It's something you will be doing to help yourself. Life may be a bit different and maybe not perfect after revision, but I think it's bound to be better. Hang in there. You will do well.

Bonnie

[ ] Depression

Hi, I am feeling so depressed lately. I feel I can't get this whole thing about surgery out of my mind, of course it doesn't help that I am constantly reminded because of leg. I just cry at the drop of the hat, I just want to get on with my life.......And I am so scared of what my life is going to be like once I do have surgey. Hope did you guys coop with the before? any suggestions that can help me not be so dammed depressed. I am taking cymbalta for pain but it helps depression too.

[Guest guest]

Bonnie, Thank you for your encouragement, I am feeling better that last couple of days. I am sure alot of it is because of everyone in this group, it helps so much to hear everyone's stories and that we may be different but we all share a common bond. Also educating myself about my condition and the right chooses I need to make helps so much more. I was just telling my husband the other night once I have the surgery I know I will feel better because each day I will be healing. Right now I am slowly losing apart of myself and that hurts...... I have started to organize my house and today on my why home I stopped at the store and started stocking up on things such as toliet paper, shampoo and things like that........I am hoping that on next Friday, if all goes good with Dr Lauerman I will set the date and that is going to take a great relief off of me. I was thinking maybe all the people who

have had revision may can come up with a float chart of sorts to show what emotions one may feel when they first get diagnosed to the anniversary of their revision surgery.(I hope I exlpained that right). So then maybe a first timer my see that and now that it is normal to have all this emotions. does that make sense? Bonnie <bonnie@...> wrote: HI , I think the time before the surgery is worse than the time after it, despite the post surgery pain.

That's healing pain, after all. Right now, I'm sure you have a lot of "what if's" floating around your brain and the confusion itself can be depressing. After the surgery, at least you know what you're dealing with. And you will have the emotional strength the deal with the recovery, I am sure. You'll have good days and bad days while recovering but as time goes by there will be more and more good days. I can't remember hearing from anyone who was sorry they had revision surgery. It's something you will be doing to help yourself. Life may be a bit different and maybe not perfect after revision, but I think it's bound to be better. Hang in there. You will do well. Bonnie [ ] Depression Hi, I am feeling so depressed lately. I feel I can't get this whole thing about surgery out of my mind, of course it doesn't help that I am constantly reminded because of leg. I just cry at the drop of the hat, I just want to get on with my life.......And I am so scared of what my life is going to be like once I do have surgey. Hope did you guys coop with the before? any suggestions that can help me not be so dammed depressed. I am taking cymbalta for pain but

it helps depression too.

Don't be flakey. Get for Mobile and always stay connected to friends.

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol,

I'm a few days behind in replying to emails.

Don't worry, you are right on course. At your stage that's all I was doing. I think Suzanne is doing much, much more than most would attempt. Also, remember this is not a race and it is not a bad reflection on your or your recovery if you seem to be "behind" someone else. You'll recover well, at your own pace. Besides, there is a lot to be said for taking it easy at your stage of recovery.

Bonnie

[ ] Re: Depression

Gee--How can you do all that walking this soon after surgery? I'm still in so much tailbone/lower back pain that I can only make it around the inside of the house several times a day!!! Yikes!!!!Carol V. > >> > Hi, I am feeling so depressed lately. I feel I can't get this whole > > thing about surgery out of my mind, of course it doesn't help that > I am > > constantly reminded because of leg. > > I just cry at the drop of the hat, I just want to get on with my > > life.......And I am so scared of what my life is going to be like > once > > I do have surgey. Hope did you guys coop with the before? any > > suggestions that can help me not be so dammed depressed. I am > taking > > cymbalta for pain but it helps depression too.> > > > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

HI ,

It could be that having a sudden change in your lifestyle and then a having a ton of knowledge to sift through is depressing in itself. That's a lot to digest. My guess is that once this all sinks in and you actually have a surgery date, some of that depression will lift. At least I hope so!

Bonnie

Re: [ ] Depression

,

yes your right it is very easy to dwell in all the negative emotions, that is why I try so hard to work because when I am working the time goes by quicker, the only bad thing right now for me is I have such a long communte to work so by the time I get there my leg is killing me and by the end of the day I am in tears with pain. So then the next morning its so hard to go back to work because I know at the end of the day its going to suck......

I think the thing that is making me so depressed right now (subject to change...lol) is the pain because I am (was) a very active person and all of sudden out of nowhere the pain hit me so hard it stopped all activity for me.

The part of having alot of knowledge about what is happening to me and going to happen to me does make me feel better, I can say when I first became a member here I was a newborn baby soaking all the information in, I think I have read everybody's file at three times, constantly look at photos, even gone back to first messages, visited all recommended websites at least twice or more. That did help alot and I do feel stronger with that knowledge now if I can get my other emotions in check I can live happily ever after...............

I love advice and knowlege

Kirkaldie <.KirkaldieComcast (DOT) net> wrote:

Dear ,

First all this isn't fair! To have to have this second go around with all this after what we had been through as kids, it plain sucks! Again not fair! First I was MAD, at everyone from my former surgeon who said I was " Healed" to my Harrington Rod. I just didn't want to go through all th had a sureness about my doc and his plan, also a gift, so I knew I had those ducks in a row, very comforting. For those close to me, I educated them too, printed internet articles on Flatback, used my x-rays to explain what had gone wrong and how they were going to fix it.I wrote a long letter to all my kids teachers explaining the surgery, that the kids would need support during all this, not for just a week or a month, but for months while I healed. I think for any Mom going into all this your kids are your biggest worry, that you'll be okay for them, and that they will come through all this fine. I went about making sure they had tons of supports, both for day to day stuff but emotionally too. I had a plan and a list of everything needing to be done, just checked things off, and it felt empowering, I was working towards my surgery and outcome. I had to give the surgery part to Dr. Kumar and Dr. O'Brien, and I had confidence in them and their skills, that they would take care of me and get me to where I wanted to be. I had then after I had gotten the kids and family and friends settled, to get my mind wrapped around my job, healing! Going into each of my surgeries, I just kept in my head the vision of me being well, I actually in my mind SAW myself well. I know it sounds out there and a bit like organic hippydom, but it's kinda like keeping your eye on the prize, and not letting go of it. That way you are in a postitive place going into all this.I felt like it was my own contribution to the surgery, doc's do the hard physical work, but the healing is all up to you, and just as important.

Depression is there sure, you wouldn't be human if it wasn't, and boy did I have my moments, especially after my first revision needed to be redone, but you have to make a plan, get all those around you up to speed, see yourself as you want to be, walking and standing with less pain or painfree, to be tall and standing upright.The key is to keep yourself knowing that all this has a purpose, to get you well, and keep your eye on the prize. I know it sounds easy to say, but thats how I handled my surgeries, surgery wasn't happening to me, I was right there working along side my surgeon to get my best outcome, we are and were a team. It truly gave me peace.

----- Original Message -----

From: astreeff

Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Travel to find your fit.

[Guest guest]

Peggy, I'd say you have more than enough reason to be depressed!

Something they left out is that pain meds, and maybe withdrawal from pain meds, can really mess with your emotions. I was very weepy and generally emotional when I first came home from the hospital last Oct., and I talked with someone else who was also on methadone, in her case before revision surgery, and she said that the methadone made her weepy. At times it did feel like I was depressed. But most of that has lifted as I've (slowly!) weaned off the methadone.

I know your drug of choice is Oxycontin, which just didn't do it for me, but I suspect that it might play a part in what you are experiencing.

I'm really sorry you're going through all this. Recovering from this type of surgery is enough, without having to deal with life as well!

I hope things get better for you, but meanwhile, don't hesitate to share this stuff with us, vent, whatever, and don't be afraid to seek medical attention for the depression.

Sharon

[ ] depression

This is from the surgery manual from Dr. Hey's clinic:

Depression and/or anxiety are often experienced after surgical procedures, at various times post operatively (immediately or months later). Intensity can range from mild dysphoria to major depressive symptoms. Lauerman in the January 2000 issue of Harvard Magazine, addresses this topic in "An Understandable Complication...Coming to terms with postsurgical depression." The article talks about emotions before surgery as being expected and often handled quite well. Problems can also crop up in the recovery period which are not expected. After major surgery, according to the article, feelings of mortality, of loss, and of vulnerability can be profound." Shortly after surgery, depression can be attributed to pain, a problem with anesthesia, a sense of loss or another underlying cause. Post-operative depression, well after the crises of surgery, can make it difficult for patients to cope with what they have endured. There might also be uncertainty about the future, or lack of understanding on the part of individuals close to them. This article points out the importance of communicating feelings of depression to medical professionals who may not be alert to symptoms, in order to have all possible causes of depression investigated.

In the April 15, 1997 issue of ls of Internal Medicine, Herbert Waxman, M.D. relates his experience with depression following surgery. In "The Patient as Physician", he discusses his post surgery symptoms. Occurring several months after surgery, he experience "dysphoria, sleep problems, joylessness and feelings of unworthiness." When he returned to work, he realized the importance of honest communication and sensitivity to patient concerns and believes the experience made him a much better physician.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so I have all these things against me right now:

postsurgical depression

Wesley's death (my best friend's husband) a couple of weeks ago

Tori leaving next week

Joanna starting to college

withdrawal from OxyContin

unable to do things that need to be done because they require bending

knowing I will be totally alone when I get back home on the 26th

Peggy

[Guest guest]

Hi Peggy,

Interestingly, we have had a link to the Lauerman article in

our " links " section for well over a year. I think it is a very

insightful piece that speaks to the depression that many of us face

after this big surgery.

I don't mean to sound like I am giving any medical advice...but I bet

it is not a coincidence that you are plagued with these feelings

shortly after you returned from your 3 month check up. As I have read

your posts you have been very " up " and " positive " and had a good

early post op period. But those of us on the " other side " know that

there is a lot more ahead. In fact, it's one reason why we started

this group....at the time I was 5 months post-op and and Ann

and Bonnie (to name a few) were at least a year past surgery.

I believe, based on no formal education or training...just reading

along here and elsewhere for a number of years...that depression in

some form is almost inevitable following surgery. Perhaps you

interpreted that to mean that it would strike only in the weeks right

after you returned home...but I think it is more common among our

population to really be brought low when the full impact of the

length or the recovery ahead becomes obvious...and that is somewhere

after the 6-8 week mark.

Lets face it, there is a lot to get " low " over...your body is changed

forever, you are medicated (sometimes forever) and your family and

friends may have lost their impetus or ability to be very helpful in

the ways that you still need.

Most of our closest family and friends have gone through all the

months and years leading up to surgery, have held our hands and

helped us through the surgery....and for them, by 3 months post-

op...they are OVER IT. They have absolutely no point of reference for

a recovery period that has a 12-18 month time frame. Yes, they may

know or have experience with cancer or AIDS/HIV....but those are

diseases that often run an unpredicible course. Our particular

surgery is very predictible....bone should be fairly grown in at 6

months, evidence of solid fusion somewhere after a year...physical

recovery gains continue to around 24 months.

On top of that...it is even more confusing for our closest friends

and family because often we ARE able to return to work, we can

shuttle the kids to their various events, we are able to go to

church, family gatherings, sit in restaurants...all the stuff that on

the outside looks so functional and " healed " . For the life of them

they can not " get " that it is still too much effort or painful to get

something off the floor, drive over a bumpy or pothole filled road,

mop or vacuum a floor or get a weeks worth of groceries into the

house.

My own experience was that just as I was feeling good enough to start

focusing on my recovery by devoting time to myself in the pool,

walking and stretching, I was just back to work full time and I found

that a lot of the other responsibilities of " life " we being shifted

back to me and I was pissed and depressed. I do look back and wonder

how much I had to do with that by setting up that expectation by

doing more than I should have early on. (That is why I always tell

folks to do less in the 2-3 month after surgery least they raise

expectations unreasonably).

Anyway, all I really wanted to say was that I don't think that it is

impossible to develop post surgical depression at your stage of

healing. Take it seriously and be sure to seek professional help if

your feelings persist.

And as always, we are here for you.

Take Care, Cam

[Guest guest]

Hi Peggy, You really do have some tough days ahead but try to focus on now and take them one day at a time, I was very depressed after my last surgery and the complications that followed, but now that I look back I think it was the Oxycontin that was contributing to my depression. As I slowly weaned the depression also began to lift. Of course during the depression it really didn't matter what the cause was, I just wanted to feel some hope and zest for life and living. Hang in there and it will get better. I promise! Betty Asbury

[ ] depression

This is from the surgery manual from Dr. Hey's clinic:

Depression and/or anxiety are often experienced after surgical procedures, at various times post operatively (immediately or months later). Intensity can range from mild dysphoria to major depressive symptoms. Lauerman in the January 2000 issue of Harvard Magazine, addresses this topic in "An Understandable Complication. ..Coming to terms with postsurgical depression." The article talks about emotions before surgery as being expected and often handled quite well. Problems can also crop up in the recovery period which are not expected. After major surgery, according to the article, feelings of mortality, of loss, and of vulnerability can be profound." Shortly after surgery, depression can be attributed to pain, a problem with anesthesia, a sense of loss or another underlying cause. Post-operative depression, well after the crises of surgery, can make it

difficult for patients to cope with what they have endured. There might also be uncertainty about the future, or lack of understanding on the part of individuals close to them. This article points out the importance of communicating feelings of depression to medical professionals who may not be alert to symptoms, in order to have all possible causes of depression investigated.

In the April 15, 1997 issue of ls of Internal Medicine, Herbert Waxman, M.D. relates his experience with depression following surgery. In "The Patient as Physician", he discusses his post surgery symptoms. Occurring several months after surgery, he experience "dysphoria, sleep problems, joylessness and feelings of unworthiness. " When he returned to work, he realized the importance of honest communication and sensitivity to patient concerns and believes the experience made him a much better physician.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

so I have all these things against me right now:

postsurgical depression

Wesley's death (my best friend's husband) a couple of weeks ago

Tori leaving next week

Joanna starting to college

withdrawal from OxyContin

unable to do things that need to be done because they require bending

knowing I will be totally alone when I get back home on the 26th

Peggy

Building a website is a piece of cake. Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.

[Guest guest]

I think the biggest thing is that I know I'm going to be totally alone for the first time since surgery on May 3. There has always been someone else in the house with me. Now I have to figure out ways to do things for myself, and there are things that just can't be done with a grabber like filling the food and water containers for the cats. My PT is training me to squat and get down on one knee to do all the low tasks and how to properly lift things by using my arms and legs and not my back.

At least I did talk my husband into coming up to SC instead of me going on to Atlanta to see him. A 9 hour drive is too much as it is and I didn't care to add another 2 hours to it. Let him come to me. Besides, then he can load my vehicle for me. Otherwise I would have to pack the Yukon, drive 2 hours to Atlanta, and then unload again. I would just rather be near my daughter in Greenville because I know once she sets herself up in her dorm room she'll realize that there's things she forgot and things she doesn't need. This way I can take her to Wal-mart for last minute things and bring home what she doesn't need right now. She doesn't have a vehicle, she doesn't even have her license yet, so she'll be depending on others a lot. But at least I can spend a couple of days resting after the 9-hour drive and then come home when I feel up to tackling it again.

Peggy

[ ] Re: depression

Hi Peggy,Interestingly, we have had a link to the Lauerman article in our "links" section for well over a year. I think it is a very insightful piece that speaks to the depression that many of us face after this big surgery. I don't mean to sound like I am giving any medical advice...but I bet it is not a coincidence that you are plagued with these feelings shortly after you returned from your 3 month check up. As I have read your posts you have been very "up" and "positive" and had a good early post op period. But those of us on the "other side" know that there is a lot more ahead. In fact, it's one reason why we started this group....at the time I was 5 months post-op and and Ann and Bonnie (to name a few) were at least a year past surgery.I believe, based on no formal education or training...just reading along here and elsewhere for a number of years...that depression in some form is almost inevitable following surgery. Perhaps you interpreted that to mean that it would strike only in the weeks right after you returned home...but I think it is more common among our population to really be brought low when the full impact of the length or the recovery ahead becomes obvious...and that is somewhere after the 6-8 week mark.Lets face it, there is a lot to get "low" over...your body is changed forever, you are medicated (sometimes forever) and your family and friends may have lost their impetus or ability to be very helpful in the ways that you still need.Most of our closest family and friends have gone through all the months and years leading up to surgery, have held our hands and helped us through the surgery....and for them, by 3 months post-op...they are OVER IT. They have absolutely no point of reference for a recovery period that has a 12-18 month time frame. Yes, they may know or have experience with cancer or AIDS/HIV....but those are diseases that often run an unpredicible course. Our particular surgery is very predictible....bone should be fairly grown in at 6 months, evidence of solid fusion somewhere after a year...physical recovery gains continue to around 24 months.On top of that...it is even more confusing for our closest friends and family because often we ARE able to return to work, we can shuttle the kids to their various events, we are able to go to church, family gatherings, sit in restaurants...all the stuff that on the outside looks so functional and "healed". For the life of them they can not "get" that it is still too much effort or painful to get something off the floor, drive over a bumpy or pothole filled road, mop or vacuum a floor or get a weeks worth of groceries into the house.My own experience was that just as I was feeling good enough to start focusing on my recovery by devoting time to myself in the pool, walking and stretching, I was just back to work full time and I found that a lot of the other responsibilities of "life" we being shifted back to me and I was pissed and depressed. I do look back and wonder how much I had to do with that by setting up that expectation by doing more than I should have early on. (That is why I always tell folks to do less in the 2-3 month after surgery least they raise expectations unreasonably).Anyway, all I really wanted to say was that I don't think that it is impossible to develop post surgical depression at your stage of healing. Take it seriously and be sure to seek professional help if your feelings persist. And as always, we are here for you.Take Care, Cam

[Guest guest]

Peggy, do you have one of these garden kneelers?

http://www.amazon.com/Folding-Seat-Kneeler-23-19/dp/B000KL0VNA/ref=pd_bbs_2/104-8749087-3828762?ie=UTF8 & s=hi & qid=1187491581 & sr=1-2

I was pleasantly surprised by how easy mine makes it to get down on my knees and back up. I use it inside as well as out in the yard. The photo shows it in the wrong position; you can use it as a bench, but it's more useful inverted as a kneeling pad with handles. Next to my grabbers, it's my favorite adaptive aid.

Sharon

[ ] Re: depression

Hi Peggy,Interestingly, we have had a link to the Lauerman article in our "links" section for well over a year. I think it is a very insightful piece that speaks to the depression that many of us face after this big surgery. I don't mean to sound like I am giving any medical advice...but I bet it is not a coincidence that you are plagued with these feelings shortly after you returned from your 3 month check up. As I have read your posts you have been very "up" and "positive" and had a good early post op period. But those of us on the "other side" know that there is a lot more ahead. In fact, it's one reason why we started this group....at the time I was 5 months post-op and and Ann and Bonnie (to name a few) were at least a year past surgery.I believe, based on no formal education or training...just reading along here and elsewhere for a number of years...that depression in some form is almost inevitable following surgery. Perhaps you interpreted that to mean that it would strike only in the weeks right after you returned home...but I think it is more common among our population to really be brought low when the full impact of the length or the recovery ahead becomes obvious...and that is somewhere after the 6-8 week mark.Lets face it, there is a lot to get "low" over...your body is changed forever, you are medicated (sometimes forever) and your family and friends may have lost their impetus or ability to be very helpful in the ways that you still need.Most of our closest family and friends have gone through all the months and years leading up to surgery, have held our hands and helped us through the surgery....and for them, by 3 months post-op...they are OVER IT. They have absolutely no point of reference for a recovery period that has a 12-18 month time frame. Yes, they may know or have experience with cancer or AIDS/HIV....but those are diseases that often run an unpredicible course. Our particular surgery is very predictible....bone should be fairly grown in at 6 months, evidence of solid fusion somewhere after a year...physical recovery gains continue to around 24 months.On top of that...it is even more confusing for our closest friends and family because often we ARE able to return to work, we can shuttle the kids to their various events, we are able to go to church, family gatherings, sit in restaurants...all the stuff that on the outside looks so functional and "healed". For the life of them they can not "get" that it is still too much effort or painful to get something off the floor, drive over a bumpy or pothole filled road, mop or vacuum a floor or get a weeks worth of groceries into the house.My own experience was that just as I was feeling good enough to start focusing on my recovery by devoting time to myself in the pool, walking and stretching, I was just back to work full time and I found that a lot of the other responsibilities of "life" we being shifted back to me and I was pissed and depressed. I do look back and wonder how much I had to do with that by setting up that expectation by doing more than I should have early on. (That is why I always tell folks to do less in the 2-3 month after surgery least they raise expectations unreasonably).Anyway, all I really wanted to say was that I don't think that it is impossible to develop post surgical depression at your stage of healing. Take it seriously and be sure to seek professional help if your feelings persist. And as always, we are here for you.Take Care, Cam

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,

This thing is completely brilliant, I ordered one tonight as I garden all the time, Thank you sooooooo much for this link!

Colorado Springs

[ ] Re: depression

Hi Peggy,Interestingly, we have had a link to the Lauerman article in our "links" section for well over a year. I think it is a very insightful piece that speaks to the depression that many of us face after this big surgery. I don't mean to sound like I am giving any medical advice...but I bet it is not a coincidence that you are plagued with these feelings shortly after you returned from your 3 month check up. As I have read your posts you have been very "up" and "positive" and had a good early post op period. But those of us on the "other side" know that there is a lot more ahead. In fact, it's one reason why we started this group....at the time I was 5 months post-op and and Ann and Bonnie (to name a few) were at least a year past surgery.I believe, based on no formal education or training...just reading along here and elsewhere for a number of years...that depression in some form is almost inevitable following surgery. Perhaps you interpreted that to mean that it would strike only in the weeks right after you returned home...but I think it is more common among our population to really be brought low when the full impact of the length or the recovery ahead becomes obvious...and that is somewhere after the 6-8 week mark.Lets face it, there is a lot to get "low" over...your body is changed forever, you are medicated (sometimes forever) and your family and friends may have lost their impetus or ability to be very helpful in the ways that you still need.Most of our closest family and friends have gone through all the months and years leading up to surgery, have held our hands and helped us through the surgery....and for them, by 3 months post-op...they are OVER IT. They have absolutely no point of reference for a recovery period that has a 12-18 month time frame. Yes, they may know or have experience with cancer or AIDS/HIV....but those are diseases that often run an unpredicible course. Our particular surgery is very predictible....bone should be fairly grown in at 6 months, evidence of solid fusion somewhere after a year...physical recovery gains continue to around 24 months.On top of that...it is even more confusing for our closest friends and family because often we ARE able to return to work, we can shuttle the kids to their various events, we are able to go to church, family gatherings, sit in restaurants...all the stuff that on the outside looks so functional and "healed". For the life of them they can not "get" that it is still too much effort or painful to get something off the floor, drive over a bumpy or pothole filled road, mop or vacuum a floor or get a weeks worth of groceries into the house.My own experience was that just as I was feeling good enough to start focusing on my recovery by devoting time to myself in the pool, walking and stretching, I was just back to work full time and I found that a lot of the other responsibilities of "life" we being shifted back to me and I was pissed and depressed. I do look back and wonder how much I had to do with that by setting up that expectation by doing more than I should have early on. (That is why I always tell folks to do less in the 2-3 month after surgery least they raise expectations unreasonably).Anyway, all I really wanted to say was that I don't think that it is impossible to develop post surgical depression at your stage of healing. Take it seriously and be sure to seek professional help if your feelings persist. And as always, we are here for you.Take Care, Cam