Re: Homeschooling ASpie kids

June 18, 2007

We had "4-square" nightmares, too!!!!!What was yours? RobinRoxanna <madideas@...> wrote: Thanks for writing all that. I agree with you. I just wondered what kinds of stuff you have found around here to do. Sounds like there are a lot of options really. That makes me feel much better. When the boys read in the afternoon - is this what they do because they like to read or do you direct it more. I mean, do you require reading time vs. time spent on computer games, etc. My ds is really into computers and gaming. My biggest problem will be having him do other things besides playing games. I don't think it will be impossible to put together new routines and rules - just that it will take effort. lol. Also, if you require reading time, do you have them pick a subject and then help them stay focused on that subject? Do you ask questions each day or have them write reports or presentations on what they are learning? Or do you let them read whatever subject they want that week? Do you use virtual school or do you homeschool from "scratch?" The

playground scenes you describe are exactly what happens to my ds, 10 yo. He wanders around, never fitting in with any one "group" and then outright struggling in some situations like the "four square" nightmare we had the last few weeks of school. The good thing about middle school is that lunch and recess are total of 30 minutes and only once a day. Still, I worry. I want to see if they can have him work in the office or help with something instead of just wander around trying to play. And even then, he might get mad and feel he's being punished if he isn't allowed to just hang out like the others. So we will have to watch how we set things up. Who knows. Middle school is really the land of the unknown even having gone through it already with the oldest ds! Maybe that even makes it worse because I know what can happen and go wrong. RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) Homeschooling ASpie kids We start at 8am. We are done by noon. Things that happen after noon often 'count' as educational - the boys were in 2 hours of homeschool afternoon PE classes, for example. Our social activities happen after

noon as well. I put quotes around the word 'count' because truly, so many things are educational that are not sit down structured workbook stuff. We belong to a homeschool nature journaling club for example that meets on a monthly basis, and the kids have taken off with that. On their own, Ethan is reading about the Middle East, and is reading about black-capped chickadees. They have time to devote to their interests because once their workbooks are done, they are on their own to do things. Back in March opted to research rocks and minerals. Ethan read about US in the 1800's. Anyway, back to social stuff. I keep them active in scouts, and participates in baseball. During the school year, I also had them in the after school PTA specials, so Ethan did chess and did the zoo club.We belong to a hiking club that has public schooled kids. We met on T nights to hike during

the public school year - now we are meeting throughout the week at various times. Last week we even went on two hikes the same day - one hike with a family that has three kids. Another hike with two families that have four kids.Every T afternoon we head to a local town and meet other homeschool kids. There are 30 families in this particular group (it's ecclectic) and 5-10 families show up each week to play for several hours.We also have weekly playdates with a homeschool family in another town. A couple of weeks ago Ethan came up to me at a park and said he did not want to play what the other kids were playing. I told him that it was ok - that he could do something else. He then said, "But I want to be where the other kids are." That's pretty big coming from him!Anyway, IF you decide to take your son home, let me know. You can't believe how Ethan has bloomed in this environment. This is pretty

much a direct quote from him, "I get a lot more done in a lot less time, and I get to spend more time doing what I want and playing with other kids. I also get to see Baby more."I don't believe for a minute that Ethan is suffering socially. I used to go to recess and watch him from my car circling the playground biting his coat in anxiety. 30 minutes was not enough time for him to relax and engage with others. The 20-30 minute lunch he got where he could have spent time talking with other kids was a loss on him as well. The environment was too loud. There was too much to watch. He liked to time how long it took classes to line up and leave. He liked to be first in line and would pay attention to the cues that his table was about to be dismissed. When other kids talked to him, he did not hear them. The final 15 minutes in the day devoted to recess - a joke for any kid let alone a child on the spectrum.

As far as social interactions throughout the rest of the day? They might talk in line, but getting in trouble for doing so made Ethan not only stop but get mad and yell at other kids for doing it. They were told to read a book when they got done with desk work -not talk to others. Anyway, sorry to go on and on, LOL - I am passionate about this. I don't think it is for every family or every kid but it always gets my underthings bunched up when somebody makes it seem like homeschooled kids are raised in bubbles. I don't think that every time a family is having trouble with the school they ought to homeschool. I don't think every time a homeschool family is struggling with socialization that public school is the solution, either.>> How does he

get contact with other kids while being homeschooled?> > Roxanna> Autism Happens

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June 18, 2007

I have " tag " issues! My son tags just a little too hard... then has to

sit down the rest of Recess!!

Jackie

On Jun 18, 2007, at 12:45 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

> We had " 4-square " nightmares, too!!!!!

> What was yours?

> Robin

>

> Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote:

>> Thanks for writing all that. I agree with you. I just wondered what

>> kinds of stuff you have found around here to do. Sounds like there

>> are a lot of options really. That makes me feel much better.

>>

>> When the boys read in the afternoon - is this what they do because

>> they like to read or do you direct it more. I mean, do you require

>> reading time vs. time spent on computer games, etc. My ds is really

>> into computers and gaming. My biggest problem will be having him do

>> other things besides playing games. I don't think it will be

>> impossible to put together new routines and rules - just that it will

>> take effort. lol. Also, if you require reading time, do you have

>> them pick a subject and then help them stay focused on that subject?

>> Do you ask questions each day or have them write reports or

>> presentations on what they are learning? Or do you let them read

>> whatever subject they want that week? Do you use virtual school or

>> do you homeschool from " scratch? "

>>

>> The playground scenes you describe are exactly what happens to my ds,

>> 10 yo. He wanders around, never fitting in with any one " group " and

>> then outright struggling in some situations like the " four square "

>> nightmare we had the last few weeks of school. The good thing about

>> middle school is that lunch and recess are total of 30 minutes and

>> only once a day. Still, I worry. I want to see if they can have him

>> work in the office or help with something instead of just wander

>> around trying to play. And even then, he might get mad and feel he's

>> being punished if he isn't allowed to just hang out like the others.

>> So we will have to watch how we set things up. Who knows. Middle

>> school is really the land of the unknown even having gone through it

>> already with the oldest ds! Maybe that even makes it worse because I

>> know what can happen and go wrong.

>>

>> Roxanna

>> Autism Happens

>>> Re: ( ) Homeschooling ASpie kids

>>>

>>> We start at 8am. We are done by noon. Things that happen after noon

>>> often 'count' as educational - the boys were in 2 hours of homeschool

>>> afternoon PE classes, for example. Our social activities happen

>>> after

>>> noon as well. I put quotes around the word 'count' because truly, so

>>> many things are educational that are not sit down structured workbook

>>> stuff. We belong to a homeschool nature journaling club for example

>>> that meets on a monthly basis, and the kids have taken off with

>>> that.

>>> On their own, Ethan is reading about the Middle East, and is

>>> reading about black-capped chickadees. They have time to devote to

>>> their interests because once their workbooks are done, they are on

>>> their own to do things. Back in March opted to research rocks

>>> and minerals. Ethan read about US in the 1800's.

>>>

>>> Anyway, back to social stuff. I keep them active in scouts, and

>>>

>>> participates in baseball. During the school year, I also had them in

>>> the after school PTA specials, so Ethan did chess and did the

>>> zoo club.

>>>

>>> We belong to a hiking club that has public schooled kids. We met on

>>> T

>>> nights to hike during the public school year - now we are meeting

>>> throughout the week at various times. Last week we even went on two

>>> hikes the same day - one hike with a family that has three kids.

>>> Another hike with two families that have four kids.

>>>

>>> Every T afternoon we head to a local town and meet other homeschool

>>> kids. There are 30 families in this particular group (it's

>>> ecclectic)

>>> and 5-10 families show up each week to play for several hours.

>>>

>>> We also have weekly playdates with a homeschool family in another

>>> town. A couple of weeks ago Ethan came up to me at a park and said

>>> he

>>> did not want to play what the other kids were playing. I told him

>>> that

>>> it was ok - that he could do something else. He then said, " But I

>>> want

>>> to be where the other kids are. " That's pretty big coming from him!

>>>

>>> Anyway, IF you decide to take your son home, let me know. You can't

>>> believe how Ethan has bloomed in this environment. This is pretty

>>> much

>>> a direct quote from him, " I get a lot more done in a lot less time,

>>> and

>>> I get to spend more time doing what I want and playing with other

>>> kids. I also get to see Baby more. "

>>>

>>> I don't believe for a minute that Ethan is suffering socially. I

>>> used to go to recess and watch him from my car circling the

>>> playground biting his coat in anxiety. 30 minutes was not enough

>>> time for him to relax and engage with others. The 20-30 minute lunch

>>> he got where he could have spent time talking with other kids was a

>>> loss on him as well. The environment was too loud. There was too

>>> much to watch. He liked to time how long it took classes to line up

>>> and leave. He liked to be first in line and would pay attention to

>>> the cues that his table was about to be dismissed. When other kids

>>> talked to him, he did not hear them. The final 15 minutes in the day

>>> devoted to recess - a joke for any kid let alone a child on the

>>> spectrum. As far as social interactions throughout the rest of the

>>> day? They might talk in line, but getting in trouble for doing so

>>> made Ethan not only stop but get mad and yell at other kids for doing

>>> it. They were told to read a book when they got done with desk work -

>>> not talk to others.

>>>

>>> Anyway, sorry to go on and on, LOL - I am passionate about this. I

>>> don't think it is for every family or every kid but it always gets my

>>> underthings bunched up when somebody makes it seem like homeschooled

>>> kids are raised in bubbles. I don't think that every time a family

>>> is having trouble with the school they ought to homeschool. I don't

>>> think every time a homeschool family is struggling with socialization

>>> that public school is the solution, either.

>>>

>>> >

>>> > How does he get contact with other kids while being homeschooled?

>>> >

>>> > Roxanna

>>> > Autism Happens

>>>

>

> Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on Travel.

>

June 18, 2007

Everybody uses something different. My second son (not diagnosed on

the spectrum) was evaluated as gifted. It's nice to allow him to go

as far forward as he needs. His 'gifted' class was doing nothing for

him academically.

Even if you stay in the school, I would ask that the school stop

making him do so many rewrites - which is my 'guess' as to why your

son hates to write so much.

June 18, 2007

I would add that you should find a private and small class size school. I really believe that a public school setting may be damaging for Aspie children. They need a nurturing environment at least until they complete high school and they have more tools to survive in a normal educational setting.

Original Message-----

From: alicia stout

Sent: Sat, 16 Jun 2007 9:12 pm

Subject: Re: ( ) Homeschooling ASpie kids

May I give you some advice? The biggest problem that aspie kids have is social issues. I have an aspie child too that the system is failing. It will make things worse if you homeschool him because he won't have the social interaction. Education wise it would help but you might and to send him back to school or he will have to go out into the world and he won't be prepared. Just think about it first. If i misread the post and this is not your child maybe you could talk to the parent.

Christian Rooney > wrote:

Does anyone homeschool an aspie child? I will be homeschooling one next

school year because the reg schools are not meeting his needs properly.

Christian

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June 18, 2007

> The good thing about middle school is that lunch and recess are total

>of 30 minutes and only once a day.>>>>>>>>>>>

WOW your middle school still has recess??? When I went to Middle

School eons ago we did not have recess. And next year when my son goes

there is NO recess.

I find that strange that they only get 30 minutes for both. I mean

they need atleast 20 minutes to eat. Here ours get 45 minutes for both

so that means they get 20 minutes to eat and 25 minutes for recess.

Marj

June 18, 2007

,

Yes.. the school makes him do rewrites... I'm guilty of it myself

BEFORE I knew of the AS! I'm going to ask for a dysgraphia evaluation!

We'll see out that goes. likes his gifted class, but I'm sure

he would love to go even further! He's in the 4th grade but functions

academically on a 6-7 grade level. So there's only so much he can do

in the public school system. I also feel that he is being " punished "

because he can not have enrichment work until he completes the current

grade work. He feels this is a waste of his time and gets days behind

and loses recess(which he could really care less about)or the send him

to the library... which he LOVES! He usually gets good grades but

HATES all of the homework that he has to do. It's such a battle to get

him to do the homework. Sometimes I physically have to hold him at the

table... which I hate to do!

As for hating writing... he has always disliked. He has a bad pencil

grip and I was told by the school OT that it was too late to change it.

I have been trying to get this corrected since first grade... bad

experience there!

I'm learning so much for you guys! Glad that I found this group.

Jackie

On Jun 18, 2007, at 2:32 PM, LJL wrote:

> Everybody uses something different. My second son (not diagnosed on

> the spectrum) was evaluated as gifted. It's nice to allow him to go

> as far forward as he needs. His 'gifted' class was doing nothing for

> him academically.

>

> Even if you stay in the school, I would ask that the school stop

> making him do so many rewrites - which is my 'guess' as to why your

> son hates to write so much.

>

June 18, 2007

If my son and another kid go for a ball and God-forbid, my son doesn't end up with it,,,,,or something just-as-bad - gets knocked over or "touched" or hurt in any way, he's yelling that they hurt him and that the game is stupid and starts to growl and his head sinks into his shoulders.........it's awful. We're really working on this now.....ugh. As far as 4-square.......well,,,,,,,,,,it seems the boys will do the different "passes" and make it hard for eachother and try to get eachother "out".... Well,,,,,,Ian freaks when he gets out.......saying they aren't playing fair. It's sad, actually. He just does't "comprehend" AT THE TIME that THAT'S how the game goes. He gets it later,,,,,after we chat. But,,,,by then, the damage is done. No one wants to play.................I kinda don't blame them. Sigh. Robin

<hunebear3@...> wrote: I have "tag" issues! My son tags just a little too hard... then has to sit down the rest of Recess!!JackieOn Jun 18, 2007, at 12:45 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:> We had "4-square" nightmares, too!!!!!> What was yours?> Robin>> Roxanna wrote:>> Thanks for writing all that. I agree with you. I just wondered what >> kinds of stuff you have found around here to do. Sounds like there >> are a lot of options really. That makes me feel much better. >> >> When the boys read in the afternoon - is this what they do because >> they like to read or do you direct it more. I mean, do you require >> reading time vs. time spent on

computer games, etc. My ds is really >> into computers and gaming. My biggest problem will be having him do >> other things besides playing games. I don't think it will be >> impossible to put together new routines and rules - just that it will >> take effort. lol. Also, if you require reading time, do you have >> them pick a subject and then help them stay focused on that subject? >> Do you ask questions each day or have them write reports or >> presentations on what they are learning? Or do you let them read >> whatever subject they want that week? Do you use virtual school or >> do you homeschool from "scratch?" >> >> The playground scenes you describe are exactly what happens to my ds, >> 10 yo. He wanders around, never fitting in with any one "group" and >> then outright

struggling in some situations like the "four square" >> nightmare we had the last few weeks of school. The good thing about >> middle school is that lunch and recess are total of 30 minutes and >> only once a day. Still, I worry. I want to see if they can have him >> work in the office or help with something instead of just wander >> around trying to play. And even then, he might get mad and feel he's >> being punished if he isn't allowed to just hang out like the others. >> So we will have to watch how we set things up. Who knows. Middle >> school is really the land of the unknown even having gone through it >> already with the oldest ds! Maybe that even makes it worse because I >> know what can happen and go wrong. >> >> Roxanna>> Autism Happens>>> ----- Original

Message ----->>> From: LJL>>> >>> Sent: Monday, June 18, 2007 8:16 AM>>> Subject: Re: ( ) Homeschooling ASpie kids>>>>>> We start at 8am. We are done by noon. Things that happen after noon>>> often 'count' as educational - the boys were in 2 hours of homeschool>>> afternoon PE classes, for example. Our social activities happen>>> after>>> noon as well. I put quotes around the word 'count' because truly, so>>> many things are educational that are not sit down structured workbook>>> stuff. We belong to a homeschool nature journaling club for example>>> that meets on a monthly basis, and the kids have taken off with>>> that.>>> On their own, Ethan is reading about the Middle East, and is>>> reading about

black-capped chickadees. They have time to devote to>>> their interests because once their workbooks are done, they are on>>> their own to do things. Back in March opted to research rocks>>> and minerals. Ethan read about US in the 1800's.>>>>>> Anyway, back to social stuff. I keep them active in scouts, and>>> >>> participates in baseball. During the school year, I also had them in>>> the after school PTA specials, so Ethan did chess and did the>>> zoo club.>>>>>> We belong to a hiking club that has public schooled kids. We met on>>> T>>> nights to hike during the public school year - now we are meeting>>> throughout the week at various times. Last week we even went on two>>> hikes the same day - one hike with a family that has three kids.>>>

Another hike with two families that have four kids.>>>>>> Every T afternoon we head to a local town and meet other homeschool>>> kids. There are 30 families in this particular group (it's>>> ecclectic)>>> and 5-10 families show up each week to play for several hours.>>>>>> We also have weekly playdates with a homeschool family in another>>> town. A couple of weeks ago Ethan came up to me at a park and said>>> he>>> did not want to play what the other kids were playing. I told him>>> that>>> it was ok - that he could do something else. He then said, "But I>>> want>>> to be where the other kids are." That's pretty big coming from him!>>>>>> Anyway, IF you decide to take your son home, let me know. You can't>>> believe how Ethan has bloomed in this

environment. This is pretty>>> much>>> a direct quote from him, "I get a lot more done in a lot less time,>>> and>>> I get to spend more time doing what I want and playing with other>>> kids. I also get to see Baby more.">>>>>> I don't believe for a minute that Ethan is suffering socially. I>>> used to go to recess and watch him from my car circling the>>> playground biting his coat in anxiety. 30 minutes was not enough>>> time for him to relax and engage with others. The 20-30 minute lunch>>> he got where he could have spent time talking with other kids was a>>> loss on him as well. The environment was too loud. There was too>>> much to watch. He liked to time how long it took classes to line up>>> and leave. He liked to be first in line and would pay attention to>>> the cues that

his table was about to be dismissed. When other kids>>> talked to him, he did not hear them. The final 15 minutes in the day>>> devoted to recess - a joke for any kid let alone a child on the>>> spectrum. As far as social interactions throughout the rest of the>>> day? They might talk in line, but getting in trouble for doing so>>> made Ethan not only stop but get mad and yell at other kids for doing>>> it. They were told to read a book when they got done with desk work ->>> not talk to others.>>>>>> Anyway, sorry to go on and on, LOL - I am passionate about this. I>>> don't think it is for every family or every kid but it always gets my>>> underthings bunched up when somebody makes it seem like homeschooled>>> kids are raised in bubbles. I don't think that every time a family>>> is having trouble with the

school they ought to homeschool. I don't>>> think every time a homeschool family is struggling with socialization>>> that public school is the solution, either.>>>>>> >>>>>> >>> >>>> > How does he get contact with other kids while being homeschooled?>>> >>>> > Roxanna>>> > Autism Happens>>>>> Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on Travel. >

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June 18, 2007

Robin,

Your son sounds like mine! If anyone touches/bumps him he yells that

they hit him 100 times! He slumps over and acts like he just got the

heck beat out of him. OMG let's talk about when he loses in a game...

Same response as your son... " It's not fair, I don't want to play your

stupid game anyway " . My son YES's me when we talk about the incidents

after the fact. He's got his learned responses down... but doesn't

understand WHY he's saying them!

My son doesn't have any friends either! SO sad!

Jackie

On Jun 18, 2007, at 3:37 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

> If my son and another kid go for a ball and God-forbid, my son doesn't

> end up with it,,,,,or something just-as-bad - gets knocked over or

> " touched " or hurt in any way, he's yelling that they hurt him and that

> the game is stupid and starts to growl and his head sinks into his

> shoulders.........it's awful.

> We're really working on this now.....ugh.

> As far as 4-square.......well,,,,,,,,,,it seems the boys will do the

> different " passes " and make it hard for eachother and try to get

> eachother " out " ....

> Well,,,,,,Ian freaks when he gets out.......saying they aren't playing

> fair. It's sad, actually.

> He just does't " comprehend " AT THE TIME that THAT'S how the game goes.

> He gets it later,,,,,after we chat. But,,,,by then, the damage is

> done. No one wants to play.................I kinda don't blame them.

> Sigh.

> Robin

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> I have " tag " issues! My son tags just a little too hard... then has to

>> sit down the rest of Recess!!

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jun 18, 2007, at 12:45 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

>>

>> > We had " 4-square " nightmares, too!!!!!

>> > What was yours?

>> > Robin

>> >

>> > Roxanna wrote:

>> >> Thanks for writing all that. I agree with you. I just wondered

>> what

>> >> kinds of stuff you have found around here to do. Sounds like there

>> >> are a lot of options really. That makes me feel much better.

>> >>

>> >> When the boys read in the afternoon - is this what they do because

>> >> they like to read or do you direct it more. I mean, do you require

>> >> reading time vs. time spent on computer games, etc. My ds is

>> really

>> >> into computers and gaming. My biggest problem will be having him

>> do

>> >> other things besides playing games. I don't think it will be

>> >> impossible to put together new routines and rules - just that it

>> will

>> >> take effort. lol. Also, if you require reading time, do you have

>> >> them pick a subject and then help them stay focused on that

>> subject?

>> >> Do you ask questions each day or have them write reports or

>> >> presentations on what they are learning? Or do you let them read

>> >> whatever subject they want that week? Do you use virtual school or

>> >> do you homeschool from " scratch? "

>> >>

>> >> The playground scenes you describe are exactly what happens to my

>> ds,

>> >> 10 yo. He wanders around, never fitting in with any one " group "

>> and

>> >> then outright struggling in some situations like the " four square "

>> >> nightmare we had the last few weeks of school. The good thing

>> about

>> >> middle school is that lunch and recess are total of 30 minutes and

>> >> only once a day. Still, I worry. I want to see if they can have

>> him

>> >> work in the office or help with something instead of just wander

>> >> around trying to play. And even then, he might get mad and feel

>> he's

>> >> being punished if he isn't allowed to just hang out like the

>> others.

>> >> So we will have to watch how we set things up. Who knows. Middle

>> >> school is really the land of the unknown even having gone through

>> it

>> >> already with the oldest ds! Maybe that even makes it worse

>> because I

>> >> know what can happen and go wrong.

>> >>

>> >> Roxanna

>> >> Autism Happens

>> >>> Re: ( ) Homeschooling ASpie kids

>> >>>

>> >>> We start at 8am. We are done by noon. Things that happen after

>> noon

>> >>> often 'count' as educational - the boys were in 2 hours of

>> homeschool

>> >>> afternoon PE classes, for example. Our social activities happen

>> >>> after

>> >>> noon as well. I put quotes around the word 'count' because truly,

>> so

>> >>> many things are educational that are not sit down structured

>> workbook

>> >>> stuff. We belong to a homeschool nature journaling club for

>> example

>> >>> that meets on a monthly basis, and the kids have taken off with

>> >>> that.

>> >>> On their own, Ethan is reading about the Middle East, and

>> is

>> >>> reading about black-capped chickadees. They have time to devote to

>> >>> their interests because once their workbooks are done, they are on

>> >>> their own to do things. Back in March opted to research

>> rocks

>> >>> and minerals. Ethan read about US in the 1800's.

>> >>>

>> >>> Anyway, back to social stuff. I keep them active in scouts, and

>> >>>

>> >>> participates in baseball. During the school year, I also had them

>> in

>> >>> the after school PTA specials, so Ethan did chess and did

>> the

>> >>> zoo club.

>> >>>

>> >>> We belong to a hiking club that has public schooled kids. We met

>> on

>> >>> T

>> >>> nights to hike during the public school year - now we are meeting

>> >>> throughout the week at various times. Last week we even went on

>> two

>> >>> hikes the same day - one hike with a family that has three kids.

>> >>> Another hike with two families that have four kids.

>> >>>

>> >>> Every T afternoon we head to a local town and meet other

>> homeschool

>> >>> kids. There are 30 families in this particular group (it's

>> >>> ecclectic)

>> >>> and 5-10 families show up each week to play for several hours.

>> >>>

>> >>> We also have weekly playdates with a homeschool family in another

>> >>> town. A couple of weeks ago Ethan came up to me at a park and said

>> >>> he

>> >>> did not want to play what the other kids were playing. I told him

>> >>> that

>> >>> it was ok - that he could do something else. He then said, " But I

>> >>> want

>> >>> to be where the other kids are. " That's pretty big coming from

>> him!

>> >>>

>> >>> Anyway, IF you decide to take your son home, let me know. You

>> can't

>> >>> believe how Ethan has bloomed in this environment. This is pretty

>> >>> much

>> >>> a direct quote from him, " I get a lot more done in a lot less

>> time,

>> >>> and

>> >>> I get to spend more time doing what I want and playing with other

>> >>> kids. I also get to see Baby more. "

>> >>>

>> >>> I don't believe for a minute that Ethan is suffering socially. I

>> >>> used to go to recess and watch him from my car circling the

>> >>> playground biting his coat in anxiety. 30 minutes was not enough

>> >>> time for him to relax and engage with others. The 20-30 minute

>> lunch

>> >>> he got where he could have spent time talking with other kids was

>> a

>> >>> loss on him as well. The environment was too loud. There was too

>> >>> much to watch. He liked to time how long it took classes to line

>> up

>> >>> and leave. He liked to be first in line and would pay attention to

>> >>> the cues that his table was about to be dismissed. When other kids

>> >>> talked to him, he did not hear them. The final 15 minutes in the

>> day

>> >>> devoted to recess - a joke for any kid let alone a child on the

>> >>> spectrum. As far as social interactions throughout the rest of the

>> >>> day? They might talk in line, but getting in trouble for doing so

>> >>> made Ethan not only stop but get mad and yell at other kids for

>> doing

>> >>> it. They were told to read a book when they got done with desk

>> work -

>> >>> not talk to others.

>> >>>

>> >>> Anyway, sorry to go on and on, LOL - I am passionate about this. I

>> >>> don't think it is for every family or every kid but it always

>> gets my

>> >>> underthings bunched up when somebody makes it seem like

>> homeschooled

>> >>> kids are raised in bubbles. I don't think that every time a family

>> >>> is having trouble with the school they ought to homeschool. I

>> don't

>> >>> think every time a homeschool family is struggling with

>> socialization

>> >>> that public school is the solution, either.

>> >>>

>> >>> >

>> >>> > How does he get contact with other kids while being

>> homeschooled?

>> >>> >

>> >>> > Roxanna

>> >>> > Autism Happens

>> >>>

>> >

>> > Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on Travel.

>> >

> Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative vehicles.

> Visit the Auto Green Center.

June 19, 2007

Hi. My son was given the "right" to do extra work AFTER HIS GRADE-LEVEL work was done, too. He got so bored and mad that he had to do double the work. At first, we were all trying to figure out why he was getting so mad (and why he would simply shut down and suddenly wouldn't do either work),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,then it "dawned" on me and we chatted with the teacher. What they decided was that if he coud do the end-of-chapter "review".............(usually 1sheet/2sheets),,,,,then he would simply do "his level" when everyone else did "their level". ------------------------------ He's always had a rough time with writing as well. He presses so hard that sometimes the sheets would rip. He received OT and was told he could do anything that required writing, on a computer. They did let him have an Alpha Smart at school,,,,,,but it seemed too hard to actually

quickly SEE what he was doing. Sometimes, the room "helper" would write what he said for him. I did this at home for him, too. They weren't saying that he didn't have to learn how to write,,,,,,,,,,,he did have to....and they worked on his sensory issues with the pressure,,,,,,but they also acknowledged that it was rough for him. (One of my things to try to get him to be aware of his "grip and pressure" was to always find new and cool pencils. This thrilled him..........probably too much, though,,,,,,,,cause he would be mesmerized if there was a new feel/design........hee hee. Sigh. Oh - and I'm no expert,,,,,,,,,,,but,,,,,,,,,since he's basically doing double the work(at home?),,,,,,,,,could you have him do "his level" work and if things are going good once that's done, perhaps have him try the "boring" stuff? That way, if he doesn't do it both, at least he's proven that he grasps where

his level is at. ???? Then, explain to the teacher (if it didn't all get done) that it just isn't fair for him to have double). Explain that "gifted" doesn't mean "want more work",,,,,,,,,,, I just remember the boredom and anger my son had with the "boring" work. Makes me sad for him when I think about how long he had to do both. Good luck. Robin <hunebear3@...> wrote: ,Yes.. the school makes him do rewrites...

I'm guilty of it myself BEFORE I knew of the AS! I'm going to ask for a dysgraphia evaluation! We'll see out that goes. likes his gifted class, but I'm sure he would love to go even further! He's in the 4th grade but functions academically on a 6-7 grade level. So there's only so much he can do in the public school system. I also feel that he is being "punished" because he can not have enrichment work until he completes the current grade work. He feels this is a waste of his time and gets days behind and loses recess(which he could really care less about)or the send him to the library... which he LOVES! He usually gets good grades but HATES all of the homework that he has to do. It's such a battle to get him to do the homework. Sometimes I physically have to hold him at the table... which I hate to do!As for hating writing... he has always disliked. He has a bad pencil grip and I was told by the school OT

that it was too late to change it. I have been trying to get this corrected since first grade... bad experience there!I'm learning so much for you guys! Glad that I found this group.JackieOn Jun 18, 2007, at 2:32 PM, LJL wrote:> Everybody uses something different. My second son (not diagnosed on> the spectrum) was evaluated as gifted. It's nice to allow him to go> as far forward as he needs. His 'gifted' class was doing nothing for> him academically.>> Even if you stay in the school, I would ask that the school stop> making him do so many rewrites - which is my 'guess' as to why your> son hates to write so much.>> >>>> >>>>> Autism...Solve the

Puzzle!>> Post message: >> Unsubscribe: -unsubscribe >> List owner: -owner >>>

June 19, 2007

Oh Jackie. PLEASE tell me that your son is about my son's age and that you live near me!!!!!Ha ha......sob. Why can't any of us live near eachother????? Robin <hunebear3@...> wrote: Robin,Your son sounds like mine! If anyone touches/bumps him he yells that they hit him 100 times! He slumps over and acts like he just got the heck beat out of him. OMG let's talk about when he loses in a game... Same response as your son... "It's not fair, I don't want to play your stupid game anyway". My son YES's me when we talk about the incidents after the fact. He's got his learned responses down... but doesn't understand WHY he's saying them!My son doesn't have any friends either! SO sad!JackieOn Jun 18, 2007, at 3:37 PM, and/or Robin

Lemke wrote:> If my son and another kid go for a ball and God-forbid, my son doesn't > end up with it,,,,,or something just-as-bad - gets knocked over or > "touched" or hurt in any way, he's yelling that they hurt him and that > the game is stupid and starts to growl and his head sinks into his > shoulders.........it's awful.> We're really working on this now.....ugh.> As far as 4-square.......well,,,,,,,,,,it seems the boys will do the > different "passes" and make it hard for eachother and try to get > eachother "out"....> Well,,,,,,Ian freaks when he gets out.......saying they aren't playing > fair. It's sad, actually.> He just does't "comprehend" AT THE TIME that THAT'S how the game goes.> He gets it later,,,,,after we chat. But,,,,by then, the damage is > done. No one wants to play.................I kinda don't

blame them.> Sigh.> Robin >> wrote:>> I have "tag" issues! My son tags just a little too hard... then has to>> sit down the rest of Recess!!>>>> Jackie>> On Jun 18, 2007, at 12:45 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:>>>> > We had "4-square" nightmares, too!!!!!>> > What was yours?>> > Robin>> >>> > Roxanna wrote:>> >> Thanks for writing all that. I agree with you. I just wondered >> what>> >> kinds of stuff you have found around here to do. Sounds like there>> >> are a lot of options really. That makes me feel much better. >> >> >> >> When the boys read in the afternoon - is this what they do because>> >> they like to read or do you direct it

more. I mean, do you require>> >> reading time vs. time spent on computer games, etc. My ds is >> really>> >> into computers and gaming. My biggest problem will be having him >> do>> >> other things besides playing games. I don't think it will be>> >> impossible to put together new routines and rules - just that it >> will>> >> take effort. lol. Also, if you require reading time, do you have>> >> them pick a subject and then help them stay focused on that >> subject? >> >> Do you ask questions each day or have them write reports or>> >> presentations on what they are learning? Or do you let them read>> >> whatever subject they want that week? Do you use virtual school or>> >> do you homeschool from

"scratch?" >> >> >> >> The playground scenes you describe are exactly what happens to my >> ds,>> >> 10 yo. He wanders around, never fitting in with any one "group" >> and>> >> then outright struggling in some situations like the "four square">> >> nightmare we had the last few weeks of school. The good thing >> about>> >> middle school is that lunch and recess are total of 30 minutes and>> >> only once a day. Still, I worry. I want to see if they can have >> him>> >> work in the office or help with something instead of just wander>> >> around trying to play. And even then, he might get mad and feel >> he's>> >> being punished if he isn't allowed to just hang out like the >> others. >> >> So we

will have to watch how we set things up. Who knows. Middle>> >> school is really the land of the unknown even having gone through >> it>> >> already with the oldest ds! Maybe that even makes it worse >> because I>> >> know what can happen and go wrong. >> >> >> >> Roxanna>> >> Autism Happens>> >>> Re: ( ) Homeschooling ASpie kids>> >>>>> >>> We start at 8am. We are done by noon. Things that happen after >> noon>> >>> often 'count' as educational - the boys were in 2 hours of >>

homeschool>> >>> afternoon PE classes, for example. Our social activities happen>> >>> after>> >>> noon as well. I put quotes around the word 'count' because truly, >> so>> >>> many things are educational that are not sit down structured >> workbook>> >>> stuff. We belong to a homeschool nature journaling club for >> example>> >>> that meets on a monthly basis, and the kids have taken off with>> >>> that.>> >>> On their own, Ethan is reading about the Middle East, and >> is>> >>> reading about black-capped chickadees. They have time to devote to>> >>> their interests because once their workbooks are done, they are on>> >>> their own to do things. Back in March opted to research >> rocks>>

>>> and minerals. Ethan read about US in the 1800's.>> >>>>> >>> Anyway, back to social stuff. I keep them active in scouts, and>> >>> >> >>> participates in baseball. During the school year, I also had them >> in>> >>> the after school PTA specials, so Ethan did chess and did >> the>> >>> zoo club.>> >>>>> >>> We belong to a hiking club that has public schooled kids. We met >> on>> >>> T>> >>> nights to hike during the public school year - now we are meeting>> >>> throughout the week at various times. Last week we even went on >> two>> >>> hikes the same day - one hike with a family that has three kids.>> >>> Another hike with two families that have four

kids.>> >>>>> >>> Every T afternoon we head to a local town and meet other >> homeschool>> >>> kids. There are 30 families in this particular group (it's>> >>> ecclectic)>> >>> and 5-10 families show up each week to play for several hours.>> >>>>> >>> We also have weekly playdates with a homeschool family in another>> >>> town. A couple of weeks ago Ethan came up to me at a park and said>> >>> he>> >>> did not want to play what the other kids were playing. I told him>> >>> that>> >>> it was ok - that he could do something else. He then said, "But I>> >>> want>> >>> to be where the other kids are." That's pretty big coming from >> him!>> >>>>> >>> Anyway,

IF you decide to take your son home, let me know. You >> can't>> >>> believe how Ethan has bloomed in this environment. This is pretty>> >>> much>> >>> a direct quote from him, "I get a lot more done in a lot less >> time,>> >>> and>> >>> I get to spend more time doing what I want and playing with other>> >>> kids. I also get to see Baby more.">> >>>>> >>> I don't believe for a minute that Ethan is suffering socially. I>> >>> used to go to recess and watch him from my car circling the>> >>> playground biting his coat in anxiety. 30 minutes was not enough>> >>> time for him to relax and engage with others. The 20-30 minute >> lunch>> >>> he got where he could have spent time talking with other kids was >>

a>> >>> loss on him as well. The environment was too loud. There was too>> >>> much to watch. He liked to time how long it took classes to line >> up>> >>> and leave. He liked to be first in line and would pay attention to>> >>> the cues that his table was about to be dismissed. When other kids>> >>> talked to him, he did not hear them. The final 15 minutes in the >> day>> >>> devoted to recess - a joke for any kid let alone a child on the>> >>> spectrum. As far as social interactions throughout the rest of the>> >>> day? They might talk in line, but getting in trouble for doing so>> >>> made Ethan not only stop but get mad and yell at other kids for >> doing>> >>> it. They were told to read a book when they got done with desk >> work

->> >>> not talk to others.>> >>>>> >>> Anyway, sorry to go on and on, LOL - I am passionate about this. I>> >>> don't think it is for every family or every kid but it always >> gets my>> >>> underthings bunched up when somebody makes it seem like >> homeschooled>> >>> kids are raised in bubbles. I don't think that every time a family>> >>> is having trouble with the school they ought to homeschool. I >> don't>> >>> think every time a homeschool family is struggling with >> socialization>> >>> that public school is the solution, either.>> >>>>> >>> >> >>>>> >>> >> >>> >>>

>>> > How does he get contact with other kids while being >> homeschooled?>> >>> >>> >>> > Roxanna>> >>> > Autism Happens>> >>>>> >>> > Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on Travel.>> >> Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative vehicles.> Visit the Auto Green Center.

You snooze, you lose. Get messages ASAP with AutoCheck in the all-new Beta.

June 19, 2007

and Robin,

THese are both EXCELLENT suggestions! I have never thought about it

being a " right " to do extra work.... BUT is I take the time to look at

from an aspie's point of view... I can see exactly why he would be so

ticked off! The " extra " work doesn't effect my NT child!! LOL

I'm not sure that I like the alpha smart either... because you can't

see if he is spelling the words correctly or using the correct grammar,

etc... until it's printed out. I know when he does homework at home

recently.. I let him use the computer and he types it out and then we

talk about what's incorrect. He grumbles that he has to do it over,

but it's easier for him on the computer.

I don't think he has any other issues with the handwriting except for

the grip issue. The school OT blamed his inability to focus on the

" real " reason he couldnt' write neatly. SHe said he could do it if he

took his time! I KNOW he can... but a simple list of spelling words

that would take my 7 year 10 minutes to write neatly... could take him

more than an hour. He obvious struggles to form each letter the right

way and you can look at him and tell he is visibly frustrated. I will

try the pencil idea... we go through a lot of pencils anyway because my

son likes to bite the eraser and we " think " eat them! I haven't

actually caught him swallowing them... but we NEVER find the end of the

eraser anywhere! SO unless he has a collection stashed somewhere, then

he is eating them.

Jackie

On Jun 19, 2007, at 7:35 AM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

> Hi.

> My son was given the " right " to do extra work AFTER HIS GRADE-LEVEL

> work was done, too. He got so bored and mad that he had to do double

> the work. At first, we were all trying to figure out why he was

> getting so mad (and why he would simply shut down and suddenly

> wouldn't do either work),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,then it " dawned " on me and we

> chatted with the teacher.

> What they decided was that if he coud do the end-of-chapter

> " review " .............(usually 1sheet/2sheets),,,,,then he would simply

> do " his level " when everyone else did " their level " .

> ------------------------------

>

> He's always had a rough time with writing as well. He presses so hard

> that sometimes the sheets would rip.

> He received OT and was told he could do anything that required

> writing, on a computer.

> They did let him have an Alpha Smart at school,,,,,,but it seemed too

> hard to actually quickly SEE what he was doing.

> Sometimes, the room " helper " would write what he said for him. I did

> this at home for him, too.

> They weren't saying that he didn't have to learn how to

> write,,,,,,,,,,,he did have to....and they worked on his sensory

> issues with the pressure,,,,,,but they also acknowledged that it was

> rough for him.

> (One of my things to try to get him to be aware of his " grip and

> pressure " was to always find new and cool pencils. This thrilled

> him..........probably too much, though,,,,,,,,cause he would be

> mesmerized if there was a new feel/design........hee hee.

> Sigh.

> Oh - and I'm no expert,,,,,,,,,,,but,,,,,,,,,since he's basically

> doing double the work(at home?),,,,,,,,,could you have him do " his

> level " work and if things are going good once that's done, perhaps

> have him try the " boring " stuff? That way, if he doesn't do it both,

> at least he's proven that he grasps where his level is at. ???? Then,

> explain to the teacher (if it didn't all get done) that it just isn't

> fair for him to have double). Explain that " gifted " doesn't mean

> " want more work " ,,,,,,,,,,,

> I just remember the boredom and anger my son had with the " boring "

> work. Makes me sad for him when I think about how long he had to do

> both.

> Good luck.

> Robin

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> ,

>>

>> Yes.. the school makes him do rewrites... I'm guilty of it myself

>> BEFORE I knew of the AS! I'm going to ask for a dysgraphia evaluation!

>> We'll see out that goes. likes his gifted class, but I'm sure

>> he would love to go even further! He's in the 4th grade but functions

>> academically on a 6-7 grade level. So there's only so much he can do

>> in the public school system. I also feel that he is being " punished "

>> because he can not have enrichment work until he completes the current

>> grade work. He feels this is a waste of his time and gets days behind

>> and loses recess(which he could really care less about)or the send him

>> to the library... which he LOVES! He usually gets good grades but

>> HATES all of the homework that he has to do. It's such a battle to get

>> him to do the homework. Sometimes I physically have to hold him at the

>> table... which I hate to do!

>>

>> As for hating writing... he has always disliked. He has a bad pencil

>> grip and I was told by the school OT that it was too late to change

>> it.

>> I have been trying to get this corrected since first grade... bad

>> experience there!

>>

>> I'm learning so much for you guys! Glad that I found this group.

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jun 18, 2007, at 2:32 PM, LJL wrote:

>>

>> > Everybody uses something different. My second son (not diagnosed on

>> > the spectrum) was evaluated as gifted. It's nice to allow him to go

>> > as far forward as he needs. His 'gifted' class was doing nothing for

>> > him academically.

>> >

>> > Even if you stay in the school, I would ask that the school stop

>> > making him do so many rewrites - which is my 'guess' as to why your

>> > son hates to write so much.

>> >

June 19, 2007

I WISH!! I live in TN... not sure where you are! My son is 10.5...

how old is yours?

Every time I read a post that sounds like my situation... I

think... " maybe they live near me " ! I know one thing this group is

making me want to reach out to locals with AS and see what sort of

support groups that I can find. I know there are several with in a 30

minute drive! It would be " nice " to be with other families that have

children just like mine... that would be treated " normally " ! I hate

those awful stares at the grocery store when my son throws himself down

on the floor OR is screeching at me about How I mistreat him and how he

has an awful life and it's worthless! I told one woman that tried to

help me with some " advice " to mind her own business and until she had

walked a day in MY shoes to keep her mouth shut! That didn't go over

too well either... but she did walk away! LOL

Jackie

On Jun 19, 2007, at 7:38 AM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

> Oh Jackie.

> PLEASE tell me that your son is about my son's age and that you live

> near me!!!!!

> Ha ha......sob.

> Why can't any of us live near eachother?????

> Robin

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:

>> Robin,

>> Your son sounds like mine! If anyone touches/bumps him he yells that

>> they hit him 100 times! He slumps over and acts like he just got the

>> heck beat out of him. OMG let's talk about when he loses in a game...

>> Same response as your son... " It's not fair, I don't want to play your

>> stupid game anyway " . My son YES's me when we talk about the incidents

>> after the fact. He's got his learned responses down... but doesn't

>> understand WHY he's saying them!

>>

>> My son doesn't have any friends either! SO sad!

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jun 18, 2007, at 3:37 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

>>

>> > If my son and another kid go for a ball and God-forbid, my son

>> doesn't

>> > end up with it,,,,,or something just-as-bad - gets knocked over or

>> > " touched " or hurt in any way, he's yelling that they hurt him and

>> that

>> > the game is stupid and starts to growl and his head sinks into his

>> > shoulders.........it's awful.

>> > We're really working on this now.....ugh.

>> > As far as 4-square.......well,,,,,,,,,,it seems the boys will do the

>> > different " passes " and make it hard for eachother and try to get

>> > eachother " out " ....

>> > Well,,,,,,Ian freaks when he gets out.......saying they aren't

>> playing

>> > fair. It's sad, actually.

>> > He just does't " comprehend " AT THE TIME that THAT'S how the game

>> goes.

>> > He gets it later,,,,,after we chat. But,,,,by then, the damage is

>> > done. No one wants to play.................I kinda don't blame

>> them.

>> > Sigh.

>> > Robin

>> >

>> > wrote:

>> >> I have " tag " issues! My son tags just a little too hard... then

>> has to

>> >> sit down the rest of Recess!!

>> >>

>> >> Jackie

>> >> On Jun 18, 2007, at 12:45 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > We had " 4-square " nightmares, too!!!!!

>> >> > What was yours?

>> >> > Robin

>> >> >

>> >> > Roxanna wrote:

>> >> >> Thanks for writing all that. I agree with you. I just wondered

>> >> what

>> >> >> kinds of stuff you have found around here to do. Sounds like

>> there

>> >> >> are a lot of options really. That makes me feel much better.

>> >> >>

>> >> >> When the boys read in the afternoon - is this what they do

>> because

>> >> >> they like to read or do you direct it more. I mean, do you

>> require

>> >> >> reading time vs. time spent on computer games, etc. My ds is

>> >> really

>> >> >> into computers and gaming. My biggest problem will be having

>> him

>> >> do

>> >> >> other things besides playing games. I don't think it will be

>> >> >> impossible to put together new routines and rules - just that it

>> >> will

>> >> >> take effort. lol. Also, if you require reading time, do you

>> have

>> >> >> them pick a subject and then help them stay focused on that

>> >> subject?

>> >> >> Do you ask questions each day or have them write reports or

>> >> >> presentations on what they are learning? Or do you let them

>> read

>> >> >> whatever subject they want that week? Do you use virtual

>> school or

>> >> >> do you homeschool from " scratch? "

>> >> >>

>> >> >> The playground scenes you describe are exactly what happens to

>> my

>> >> ds,

>> >> >> 10 yo. He wanders around, never fitting in with any one " group "

>> >> and

>> >> >> then outright struggling in some situations like the " four

>> square "

>> >> >> nightmare we had the last few weeks of school. The good thing

>> >> about

>> >> >> middle school is that lunch and recess are total of 30 minutes

>> and

>> >> >> only once a day. Still, I worry. I want to see if they can

>> have

>> >> him

>> >> >> work in the office or help with something instead of just wander

>> >> >> around trying to play. And even then, he might get mad and feel

>> >> he's

>> >> >> being punished if he isn't allowed to just hang out like the

>> >> others.

>> >> >> So we will have to watch how we set things up. Who knows.

>> Middle

>> >> >> school is really the land of the unknown even having gone

>> through

>> >> it

>> >> >> already with the oldest ds! Maybe that even makes it worse

>> >> because I

>> >> >> know what can happen and go wrong.

>> >> >>

>> >> >> Roxanna

>> >> >> Autism Happens

>> >> >>> Re: ( ) Homeschooling ASpie kids

>> >> >>>

>> >> >>> We start at 8am. We are done by noon. Things that happen after

>> >> noon

>> >> >>> often 'count' as educational - the boys were in 2 hours of

>> >> homeschool

>> >> >>> afternoon PE classes, for example. Our social activities happen

>> >> >>> after

>> >> >>> noon as well. I put quotes around the word 'count' because

>> truly,

>> >> so

>> >> >>> many things are educational that are not sit down structured

>> >> workbook

>> >> >>> stuff. We belong to a homeschool nature journaling club for

>> >> example

>> >> >>> that meets on a monthly basis, and the kids have taken off with

>> >> >>> that.

>> >> >>> On their own, Ethan is reading about the Middle East, and

>>

>> >> is

>> >> >>> reading about black-capped chickadees. They have time to

>> devote to

>> >> >>> their interests because once their workbooks are done, they

>> are on

>> >> >>> their own to do things. Back in March opted to research

>> >> rocks

>> >> >>> and minerals. Ethan read about US in the 1800's.

>> >> >>>

>> >> >>> Anyway, back to social stuff. I keep them active in scouts, and

>> >> >>>

>> >> >>> participates in baseball. During the school year, I also had

>> them

>> >> in

>> >> >>> the after school PTA specials, so Ethan did chess and

>> did

>> >> the

>> >> >>> zoo club.

>> >> >>>

>> >> >>> We belong to a hiking club that has public schooled kids. We

>> met

>> >> on

>> >> >>> T

>> >> >>> nights to hike during the public school year - now we are

>> meeting

>> >> >>> throughout the week at various times. Last week we even went on

>> >> two

>> >> >>> hikes the same day - one hike with a family that has three

>> kids.

>> >> >>> Another hike with two families that have four kids.

>> >> >>>

>> >> >>> Every T afternoon we head to a local town and meet other

>> >> homeschool

>> >> >>> kids. There are 30 families in this particular group (it's

>> >> >>> ecclectic)

>> >> >>> and 5-10 families show up each week to play for several hours.

>> >> >>>

>> >> >>> We also have weekly playdates with a homeschool family in

>> another

>> >> >>> town. A couple of weeks ago Ethan came up to me at a park and

>> said

>> >> >>> he

>> >> >>> did not want to play what the other kids were playing. I told

>> him

>> >> >>> that

>> >> >>> it was ok - that he could do something else. He then said,

>> " But I

>> >> >>> want

>> >> >>> to be where the other kids are. " That's pretty big coming from

>> >> him!

>> >> >>>

>> >> >>> Anyway, IF you decide to take your son home, let me know. You

>> >> can't

>> >> >>> believe how Ethan has bloomed in this environment. This is

>> pretty

>> >> >>> much

>> >> >>> a direct quote from him, " I get a lot more done in a lot less

>> >> time,

>> >> >>> and

>> >> >>> I get to spend more time doing what I want and playing with

>> other

>> >> >>> kids. I also get to see Baby more. "

>> >> >>>

>> >> >>> I don't believe for a minute that Ethan is suffering socially.

>> I

>> >> >>> used to go to recess and watch him from my car circling the

>> >> >>> playground biting his coat in anxiety. 30 minutes was not

>> enough

>> >> >>> time for him to relax and engage with others. The 20-30 minute

>> >> lunch

>> >> >>> he got where he could have spent time talking with other kids

>> was

>> >> a

>> >> >>> loss on him as well. The environment was too loud. There was

>> too

>> >> >>> much to watch. He liked to time how long it took classes to

>> line

>> >> up

>> >> >>> and leave. He liked to be first in line and would pay

>> attention to

>> >> >>> the cues that his table was about to be dismissed. When other

>> kids

>> >> >>> talked to him, he did not hear them. The final 15 minutes in

>> the

>> >> day

>> >> >>> devoted to recess - a joke for any kid let alone a child on the

>> >> >>> spectrum. As far as social interactions throughout the rest of

>> the

>> >> >>> day? They might talk in line, but getting in trouble for doing

>> so

>> >> >>> made Ethan not only stop but get mad and yell at other kids for

>> >> doing

>> >> >>> it. They were told to read a book when they got done with desk

>> >> work -

>> >> >>> not talk to others.

>> >> >>>

>> >> >>> Anyway, sorry to go on and on, LOL - I am passionate about

>> this. I

>> >> >>> don't think it is for every family or every kid but it always

>> >> gets my

>> >> >>> underthings bunched up when somebody makes it seem like

>> >> homeschooled

>> >> >>> kids are raised in bubbles. I don't think that every time a

>> family

>> >> >>> is having trouble with the school they ought to homeschool. I

>> >> don't

>> >> >>> think every time a homeschool family is struggling with

>> >> socialization

>> >> >>> that public school is the solution, either.

>> >> >>>

>> >> >>> >

>> >> >>> > How does he get contact with other kids while being

>> >> homeschooled?

>> >> >>> >

>> >> >>> > Roxanna

>> >> >>> > Autism Happens

>> >> >>>

>> >> >

>> >> > Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on

>> Travel.

>> >> >

>> > Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative

>> vehicles.

>> > Visit the Auto Green Center.

> You snooze, you lose. Get messages ASAP with AutoCheck

> in the all-new Beta.

June 19, 2007

When I have the boys do their book reports, I type in what they write

and let them make edits to the typewritten versions. I then make the

changes for them. It has helped both of them with being more

verbose. I also have a typing program for kids so hopefully will

transition them to writing their own stuff on the computer by the end

of 4th grade.

Perhaps typing will help your son as well?

>

> ,

>

> Yes.. the school makes him do rewrites... I'm guilty of it myself

> BEFORE I knew of the AS! I'm going to ask for a dysgraphia

evaluation!

> We'll see out that goes. likes his gifted class, but I'm

sure

> he would love to go even further! He's in the 4th grade but

functions

> academically on a 6-7 grade level. So there's only so much he can

do

> in the public school system. I also feel that he is

being " punished "

> because he can not have enrichment work until he completes the

current

> grade work. He feels this is a waste of his time and gets days

behind

> and loses recess(which he could really care less about)or the send

him

> to the library... which he LOVES! He usually gets good grades but

> HATES all of the homework that he has to do. It's such a battle to

get

> him to do the homework. Sometimes I physically have to hold him at

the

> table... which I hate to do!

>

> As for hating writing... he has always disliked. He has a bad

pencil

> grip and I was told by the school OT that it was too late to change

it.

> I have been trying to get this corrected since first grade... bad

> experience there!

>

> I'm learning so much for you guys! Glad that I found this group.

>

> Jackie

June 19, 2007

My son loses it during games as well. The best way I can think to

describe it is that the blood flow no longer goes to the area of the

brain that can reason. He can reason plenty afterwards. We

videotaped him last year losing it on his baseball teamates. He did

not even recognize himself - had no idea that people could watch him

lose his temper - thought that what he was experiencing was going on

inside of his body.

Watching adults without autism lose their temper lets me know that

this happens to a lot of people, however.

> >> >>> >

> >> >>> > How does he get contact with other kids while being

> >> homeschooled?

> >> >>> >

> >> >>> > Roxanna

> >> >>> > Autism Happens

> >> >>>

> >> >

> >> > Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on

Travel.

> >> >

> > Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative

vehicles.

> > Visit the Auto Green Center.

>

> ---------------------------------

> You snooze, you lose. Get messages ASAP with AutoCheck

> in the all-new Beta.

>

June 19, 2007

,

I do have him type NOW. I never even considered it before the DX or

before we actually begin to think something could be wrong with him. I

too thought he was just in a hurry to watch tv, play video games or

whatever else he was into at the moment! When was home sick

with pneumonia for two weeks... I wrote out all of his math problems

for him and all he did was right the answer. He also typed ALL of his

written makeup work on the computer. So that just left his workbook

pages; which were pretty much scribble that I had to struggle to

decipher. We also noticed at that time that he reads WELL but does not

retain what he reads. We have never known that!

The Alpha Smart they provide him with at school is a little portable

typing machine. It's about the size of a lap top and had a tiny flip

top screen that's about 3 inches where he can see what he is typing.

He FINALLY got that the last 2 months of school.

Thanks for your help!

Jackie

On Jun 19, 2007, at 8:45 AM, LJL wrote:

> When I have the boys do their book reports, I type in what they write

> and let them make edits to the typewritten versions. I then make the

> changes for them. It has helped both of them with being more

> verbose. I also have a typing program for kids so hopefully will

> transition them to writing their own stuff on the computer by the end

> of 4th grade.

>

> Perhaps typing will help your son as well?

>

>>

>> ,

>>

>> Yes.. the school makes him do rewrites... I'm guilty of it myself

>> BEFORE I knew of the AS! I'm going to ask for a dysgraphia

> evaluation!

>> We'll see out that goes. likes his gifted class, but I'm

> sure

>> he would love to go even further! He's in the 4th grade but

> functions

>> academically on a 6-7 grade level. So there's only so much he can

> do

>> in the public school system. I also feel that he is

> being " punished "

>> because he can not have enrichment work until he completes the

> current

>> grade work. He feels this is a waste of his time and gets days

> behind

>> and loses recess(which he could really care less about)or the send

> him

>> to the library... which he LOVES! He usually gets good grades but

>> HATES all of the homework that he has to do. It's such a battle to

> get

>> him to do the homework. Sometimes I physically have to hold him at

> the

>> table... which I hate to do!

>>

>> As for hating writing... he has always disliked. He has a bad

> pencil

>> grip and I was told by the school OT that it was too late to change

> it.

>> I have been trying to get this corrected since first grade... bad

>> experience there!

>>

>> I'm learning so much for you guys! Glad that I found this group.

>>

>> Jackie

>

June 19, 2007

Wow... this is a great suggestion! When is angry it is like he

a different person. He slouches over, fist get clenched so tightly

that IF he had nails they would dig into his palms, sometimes he cries,

he breathes hard and his face turns into what some would describe as

scary! He goes through a school Care team every year on Anger

Management, but it's failed to stick with him! He comes home excited

about the techniques, but when it comes time to use them... it's all

forgotten. I usually have to physical prompt him to his room to calm

down. He will go and bounce on the edge of his bed and then once he's

calm... he's back to " normal " ! Sometimes it's over quickly and other

times it can take a while.

Maybe I should consider video taping him as well to show him; because

he often tells me he doesn't do what I try to explain to him.

Jackie

On Jun 19, 2007, at 8:50 AM, LJL wrote:

> My son loses it during games as well. The best way I can think to

> describe it is that the blood flow no longer goes to the area of the

> brain that can reason. He can reason plenty afterwards. We

> videotaped him last year losing it on his baseball teamates. He did

> not even recognize himself - had no idea that people could watch him

> lose his temper - thought that what he was experiencing was going on

> inside of his body.

>

> Watching adults without autism lose their temper lets me know that

> this happens to a lot of people, however.

>

>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>> How does he get contact with other kids while being

>>>> homeschooled?

>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>> Roxanna

>>>>>>>> Autism Happens

>>>>>>>

>>>>>

>>>>> Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on

> Travel.

>>>>>

>>> Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative

> vehicles.

>>> Visit the Auto Green Center.

>>

>> ---------------------------------

>> You snooze, you lose. Get messages ASAP with AutoCheck

>> in the all-new Beta.

>>

>

June 19, 2007

When my kid was in second grade he was getting NI's (needs

improvement) on his spelling tests. They wanted to modify his list

so the words would be easier. What I found out through asking my son

is that he could spell many of these missed words outloud. Writing

the words over and over was doing nothing to get him to spell them

correctly on paper. However, by allowing him to do his spelling

words using magnetic letters and checking himself - putting the power

of 'grading' himself into his own hands - well - he went from getting

NI's to A's. For some reason, if he can use the magnetic letters he

can write the words out with better accuracy.

>

> I don't think he has any other issues with the handwriting except

for

> the grip issue. The school OT blamed his inability to focus on the

> " real " reason he couldnt' write neatly. SHe said he could do it if

he

> took his time! I KNOW he can... but a simple list of spelling

words

> that would take my 7 year 10 minutes to write neatly... could take

him

> more than an hour. He obvious struggles to form each letter the

right

June 19, 2007

I think I got the idea from one of those autism books that is

supposed to help them with perspective. It's a really good book

called, " Thinking About YOU Thinking About ME. " I do know this book

has a lot of very good therapies parents can do at home, including

things like looking at an object and having your child try to guess

what it is based on your eye gaze. Another suggestion is sitting

across from your child with paper and asking them to draw what you

the parents sees. This kind of stuff kind of lets you know where

your child is at. If they are further along, they will get that they

have to rotate their head and look at the world from your viewpoint.

>

> Wow... this is a great suggestion! When is angry it is like

he

> a different person. He slouches over, fist get clenched so tightly

> that IF he had nails they would dig into his palms, sometimes he

cries,

> he breathes hard and his face turns into what some would describe

as

> scary! He goes through a school Care team every year on Anger

> Management, but it's failed to stick with him! He comes home

excited

> about the techniques, but when it comes time to use them... it's

all

> forgotten. I usually have to physical prompt him to his room to

calm

> down. He will go and bounce on the edge of his bed and then once

he's

> calm... he's back to " normal " ! Sometimes it's over quickly and

other

> times it can take a while.

>

> Maybe I should consider video taping him as well to show him;

because

> he often tells me he doesn't do what I try to explain to him.

>

> Jackie

June 19, 2007

My son has never had any kind of issues forming letters that were

legible, but you can clearly see just by how he writes that the

process is more painful for him. I can't imagine how tough that

would be if even with your best efforts people could not read it, and

you were made to do it over and over. Good for you for finding

alternative ways for him!

>

> ,

>

> I do have him type NOW. I never even considered it before the DX

or

> before we actually begin to think something could be wrong with

him. I

> too thought he was just in a hurry to watch tv, play video games or

> whatever else he was into at the moment! When was home

sick

> with pneumonia for two weeks... I wrote out all of his math

problems

> for him and all he did was right the answer. He also typed ALL of

his

> written makeup work on the computer. So that just left his

workbook

> pages; which were pretty much scribble that I had to struggle to

> decipher. We also noticed at that time that he reads WELL but does

not

> retain what he reads. We have never known that!

>

> The Alpha Smart they provide him with at school is a little

portable

> typing machine. It's about the size of a lap top and had a tiny

flip

> top screen that's about 3 inches where he can see what he is

typing.

> He FINALLY got that the last 2 months of school.

>

> Thanks for your help!

> Jackie

June 19, 2007

where in TN? im in clarksville/ft campbell>??? <hunebear3@...> wrote: I WISH!! I live in TN... not sure where you are! My son is 10.5... how old is yours?Every time I read a post that sounds like my situation... I think..."maybe they live near me"! I know one thing this group is making me want to reach out to locals with AS and see what sort of support groups that I can find. I know there are several with in a 30 minute drive! It would be "nice" to be with other families that have children just like mine... that would be treated "normally"! I hate those awful stares at the grocery store when my son throws himself down on the floor OR is screeching at me about How I mistreat him and how he has an awful life and it's worthless! I told one woman that tried to help me with

some "advice" to mind her own business and until she had walked a day in MY shoes to keep her mouth shut! That didn't go over too well either... but she did walk away! LOLJackieOn Jun 19, 2007, at 7:38 AM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:> Oh Jackie.> PLEASE tell me that your son is about my son's age and that you live > near me!!!!!> Ha ha......sob.> Why can't any of us live near eachother?????> Robin>> wrote:>> Robin,>> Your son sounds like mine! If anyone touches/bumps him he yells that>> they hit him 100 times! He slumps over and acts like he just got the>> heck beat out of him. OMG let's talk about when he loses in a game...>> Same response as your son... "It's not fair, I don't want to play your>> stupid game anyway". My son YES's me when we talk about the incidents>> after the

fact. He's got his learned responses down... but doesn't>> understand WHY he's saying them!>>>> My son doesn't have any friends either! SO sad!>>>> Jackie>> On Jun 18, 2007, at 3:37 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:>>>> > If my son and another kid go for a ball and God-forbid, my son >> doesn't>> > end up with it,,,,,or something just-as-bad - gets knocked over or>> > "touched" or hurt in any way, he's yelling that they hurt him and >> that>> > the game is stupid and starts to growl and his head sinks into his>> > shoulders.........it's awful.>> > We're really working on this now.....ugh.>> > As far as 4-square.......well,,,,,,,,,,it seems the boys will do the>> > different "passes" and make it hard for eachother and try to get>> >

eachother "out"....>> > Well,,,,,,Ian freaks when he gets out.......saying they aren't >> playing>> > fair. It's sad, actually.>> > He just does't "comprehend" AT THE TIME that THAT'S how the game >> goes.>> > He gets it later,,,,,after we chat. But,,,,by then, the damage is>> > done. No one wants to play.................I kinda don't blame >> them.>> > Sigh.>> > Robin >> >>> > wrote:>> >> I have "tag" issues! My son tags just a little too hard... then >> has to>> >> sit down the rest of Recess!!>> >>>> >> Jackie>> >> On Jun 18, 2007, at 12:45 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:>> >>>> >> > We had "4-square" nightmares, too!!!!!>> >>

> What was yours?>> >> > Robin>> >> >>> >> > Roxanna wrote:>> >> >> Thanks for writing all that. I agree with you. I just wondered>> >> what>> >> >> kinds of stuff you have found around here to do. Sounds like >> there>> >> >> are a lot of options really. That makes me feel much better. >> >> >> >> >> >> When the boys read in the afternoon - is this what they do >> because>> >> >> they like to read or do you direct it more. I mean, do you >> require>> >> >> reading time vs. time spent on computer games, etc. My ds is>> >> really>> >> >> into computers and gaming. My biggest problem will be having >> him>>

>> do>> >> >> other things besides playing games. I don't think it will be>> >> >> impossible to put together new routines and rules - just that it>> >> will>> >> >> take effort. lol. Also, if you require reading time, do you >> have>> >> >> them pick a subject and then help them stay focused on that>> >> subject? >> >> >> Do you ask questions each day or have them write reports or>> >> >> presentations on what they are learning? Or do you let them >> read>> >> >> whatever subject they want that week? Do you use virtual >> school or>> >> >> do you homeschool from "scratch?" >> >> >> >> >> >> The playground scenes you describe are exactly what

happens to >> my>> >> ds,>> >> >> 10 yo. He wanders around, never fitting in with any one "group">> >> and>> >> >> then outright struggling in some situations like the "four >> square">> >> >> nightmare we had the last few weeks of school. The good thing>> >> about>> >> >> middle school is that lunch and recess are total of 30 minutes >> and>> >> >> only once a day. Still, I worry. I want to see if they can >> have>> >> him>> >> >> work in the office or help with something instead of just wander>> >> >> around trying to play. And even then, he might get mad and feel>> >> he's>> >> >> being punished if he isn't allowed to just hang out like

the>> >> others. >> >> >> So we will have to watch how we set things up. Who knows. >> Middle>> >> >> school is really the land of the unknown even having gone >> through>> >> it>> >> >> already with the oldest ds! Maybe that even makes it worse>> >> because I>> >> >> know what can happen and go wrong. >> >> >> >> >> >> Roxanna>> >> >> Autism Happens>> >> >>> Re: ( ) Homeschooling ASpie kids>> >>

>>>>> >> >>> We start at 8am. We are done by noon. Things that happen after>> >> noon>> >> >>> often 'count' as educational - the boys were in 2 hours of>> >> homeschool>> >> >>> afternoon PE classes, for example. Our social activities happen>> >> >>> after>> >> >>> noon as well. I put quotes around the word 'count' because >> truly,>> >> so>> >> >>> many things are educational that are not sit down structured>> >> workbook>> >> >>> stuff. We belong to a homeschool nature journaling club for>> >> example>> >> >>> that meets on a monthly basis, and the kids have taken off with>> >> >>> that.>> >> >>> On their own, Ethan is reading

about the Middle East, and >> >> >> is>> >> >>> reading about black-capped chickadees. They have time to >> devote to>> >> >>> their interests because once their workbooks are done, they >> are on>> >> >>> their own to do things. Back in March opted to research>> >> rocks>> >> >>> and minerals. Ethan read about US in the 1800's.>> >> >>>>> >> >>> Anyway, back to social stuff. I keep them active in scouts, and>> >> >>> >> >> >>> participates in baseball. During the school year, I also had >> them>> >> in>> >> >>> the after school PTA specials, so Ethan did chess and >> did>> >> the>> >> >>>

zoo club.>> >> >>>>> >> >>> We belong to a hiking club that has public schooled kids. We >> met>> >> on>> >> >>> T>> >> >>> nights to hike during the public school year - now we are >> meeting>> >> >>> throughout the week at various times. Last week we even went on>> >> two>> >> >>> hikes the same day - one hike with a family that has three >> kids.>> >> >>> Another hike with two families that have four kids.>> >> >>>>> >> >>> Every T afternoon we head to a local town and meet other>> >> homeschool>> >> >>> kids. There are 30 families in this particular group (it's>> >> >>> ecclectic)>> >> >>> and 5-10

families show up each week to play for several hours.>> >> >>>>> >> >>> We also have weekly playdates with a homeschool family in >> another>> >> >>> town. A couple of weeks ago Ethan came up to me at a park and >> said>> >> >>> he>> >> >>> did not want to play what the other kids were playing. I told >> him>> >> >>> that>> >> >>> it was ok - that he could do something else. He then said, >> "But I>> >> >>> want>> >> >>> to be where the other kids are." That's pretty big coming from>> >> him!>> >> >>>>> >> >>> Anyway, IF you decide to take your son home, let me know. You>> >> can't>> >> >>> believe how Ethan

has bloomed in this environment. This is >> pretty>> >> >>> much>> >> >>> a direct quote from him, "I get a lot more done in a lot less>> >> time,>> >> >>> and>> >> >>> I get to spend more time doing what I want and playing with >> other>> >> >>> kids. I also get to see Baby more.">> >> >>>>> >> >>> I don't believe for a minute that Ethan is suffering socially. >> I>> >> >>> used to go to recess and watch him from my car circling the>> >> >>> playground biting his coat in anxiety. 30 minutes was not >> enough>> >> >>> time for him to relax and engage with others. The 20-30 minute>> >> lunch>> >> >>> he got where he could have spent

time talking with other kids >> was>> >> a>> >> >>> loss on him as well. The environment was too loud. There was >> too>> >> >>> much to watch. He liked to time how long it took classes to >> line>> >> up>> >> >>> and leave. He liked to be first in line and would pay >> attention to>> >> >>> the cues that his table was about to be dismissed. When other >> kids>> >> >>> talked to him, he did not hear them. The final 15 minutes in >> the>> >> day>> >> >>> devoted to recess - a joke for any kid let alone a child on the>> >> >>> spectrum. As far as social interactions throughout the rest of >> the>> >> >>> day? They might talk in line, but getting in trouble for

doing >> so>> >> >>> made Ethan not only stop but get mad and yell at other kids for>> >> doing>> >> >>> it. They were told to read a book when they got done with desk>> >> work ->> >> >>> not talk to others.>> >> >>>>> >> >>> Anyway, sorry to go on and on, LOL - I am passionate about >> this. I>> >> >>> don't think it is for every family or every kid but it always>> >> gets my>> >> >>> underthings bunched up when somebody makes it seem like>> >> homeschooled>> >> >>> kids are raised in bubbles. I don't think that every time a >> family>> >> >>> is having trouble with the school they ought to homeschool. I>> >> don't>> >>

>>> think every time a homeschool family is struggling with>> >> socialization>> >> >>> that public school is the solution, either.>> >> >>>>> >> >>> >> >> >>>>> >> >>> >> >> >>> >>> >> >>> > How does he get contact with other kids while being>> >> homeschooled?>> >> >>> >>> >> >>> > Roxanna>> >> >>> > Autism Happens>> >> >>>>> >> >>> >> > Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on >> Travel.>> >> >>> > Park yourself in front of a world of choices in

alternative >> vehicles.>> > Visit the Auto Green Center.> You snooze, you lose. Get messages ASAP with AutoCheck> in the all-new Beta.

Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos more.

June 19, 2007

,

This make so much sense! My son has atrocious spelling habits on

paper! He does much better when he spells aloud or when he types the

words. He HATES the repetition of writing each of spelling words 3

times! Sometimes EACH spelling would be different! LOL Magnetic

letters will probably NOT be an option for my son since the school is

so stuck on his IQ! I am writing down all of the suggestions that I am

seeing on this board... just so that I can see what works the best for

my son!

Thanks,

Jackie

On Jun 19, 2007, at 10:02 AM, LJL wrote:

> When my kid was in second grade he was getting NI's (needs

> improvement) on his spelling tests. They wanted to modify his list

> so the words would be easier. What I found out through asking my son

> is that he could spell many of these missed words outloud. Writing

> the words over and over was doing nothing to get him to spell them

> correctly on paper. However, by allowing him to do his spelling

> words using magnetic letters and checking himself - putting the power

> of 'grading' himself into his own hands - well - he went from getting

> NI's to A's. For some reason, if he can use the magnetic letters he

> can write the words out with better accuracy.

>

>>

>> I don't think he has any other issues with the handwriting except

> for

>> the grip issue. The school OT blamed his inability to focus on the

>> " real " reason he couldnt' write neatly. SHe said he could do it if

> he

>> took his time! I KNOW he can... but a simple list of spelling

> words

>> that would take my 7 year 10 minutes to write neatly... could take

> him

>> more than an hour. He obvious struggles to form each letter the

> right

>

June 19, 2007

It's really weird because my Son CAN recognize some facial expressions

and he says/does the right thing... but I see that he responds out of

learned behavior and doesn't quite understand WHY he is saying/doing

what he is doing! I am adding this book to my list of summer reading!

Not one that I have come across in my journey to read everything I can

on the subject. LOL

I do know that has a severely hard time " walking " in others

shoes as the rest of us have a hard walking in his! He does think that

HIS is the only opinion. This drives my DH totally insane so if I

could teach him to realize that there are other opinions or that others

have different viewpoints... that would calm this family down a LOT!

I'm learning so much from all of your posts... keep them coming!

Jackie

On Jun 19, 2007, at 10:06 AM, LJL wrote:

> I think I got the idea from one of those autism books that is

> supposed to help them with perspective. It's a really good book

> called, " Thinking About YOU Thinking About ME. " I do know this book

> has a lot of very good therapies parents can do at home, including

> things like looking at an object and having your child try to guess

> what it is based on your eye gaze. Another suggestion is sitting

> across from your child with paper and asking them to draw what you

> the parents sees. This kind of stuff kind of lets you know where

> your child is at. If they are further along, they will get that they

> have to rotate their head and look at the world from your viewpoint.

>

>>

>> Wow... this is a great suggestion! When is angry it is like

> he

>> a different person. He slouches over, fist get clenched so tightly

>> that IF he had nails they would dig into his palms, sometimes he

> cries,

>> he breathes hard and his face turns into what some would describe

> as

>> scary! He goes through a school Care team every year on Anger

>> Management, but it's failed to stick with him! He comes home

> excited

>> about the techniques, but when it comes time to use them... it's

> all

>> forgotten. I usually have to physical prompt him to his room to

> calm

>> down. He will go and bounce on the edge of his bed and then once

> he's

>> calm... he's back to " normal " ! Sometimes it's over quickly and

> other

>> times it can take a while.

>>

>> Maybe I should consider video taping him as well to show him;

> because

>> he often tells me he doesn't do what I try to explain to him.

>>

>> Jackie

>

June 19, 2007

I live in Gallatin! You are the closest person that I have found so

far! We are still about an hour give or take a bit away from each

other!! But we could meet halfway!

Jackie

On Jun 19, 2007, at 10:18 AM, HEATHER BEEM wrote:

> where in TN? im in clarksville/ft campbell>???

>

> <hunebear3@...> wrote:I WISH!! I live in

> TN... not sure where you are! My son is 10.5...

>> how old is yours?

>>

>> Every time I read a post that sounds like my situation... I

>> think... " maybe they live near me " ! I know one thing this group is

>> making me want to reach out to locals with AS and see what sort of

>> support groups that I can find. I know there are several with in a 30

>> minute drive! It would be " nice " to be with other families that have

>> children just like mine... that would be treated " normally " ! I hate

>> those awful stares at the grocery store when my son throws himself

>> down

>> on the floor OR is screeching at me about How I mistreat him and how

>> he

>> has an awful life and it's worthless! I told one woman that tried to

>> help me with some " advice " to mind her own business and until she had

>> walked a day in MY shoes to keep her mouth shut! That didn't go over

>> too well either... but she did walk away! LOL

>>

>> Jackie

>> On Jun 19, 2007, at 7:38 AM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

>>

>> > Oh Jackie.

>> > PLEASE tell me that your son is about my son's age and that you live

>> > near me!!!!!

>> > Ha ha......sob.

>> > Why can't any of us live near eachother?????

>> > Robin

>> >

>> > wrote:

>> >> Robin,

>> >> Your son sounds like mine! If anyone touches/bumps him he yells

>> that

>> >> they hit him 100 times! He slumps over and acts like he just got

>> the

>> >> heck beat out of him. OMG let's talk about when he loses in a

>> game...

>> >> Same response as your son... " It's not fair, I don't want to play

>> your

>> >> stupid game anyway " . My son YES's me when we talk about the

>> incidents

>> >> after the fact. He's got his learned responses down... but doesn't

>> >> understand WHY he's saying them!

>> >>

>> >> My son doesn't have any friends either! SO sad!

>> >>

>> >> Jackie

>> >> On Jun 18, 2007, at 3:37 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

>> >>

>> >> > If my son and another kid go for a ball and God-forbid, my son

>> >> doesn't

>> >> > end up with it,,,,,or something just-as-bad - gets knocked over

>> or

>> >> > " touched " or hurt in any way, he's yelling that they hurt him and

>> >> that

>> >> > the game is stupid and starts to growl and his head sinks into

>> his

>> >> > shoulders.........it's awful.

>> >> > We're really working on this now.....ugh.

>> >> > As far as 4-square.......well,,,,,,,,,,it seems the boys will do

>> the

>> >> > different " passes " and make it hard for eachother and try to get

>> >> > eachother " out " ....

>> >> > Well,,,,,,Ian freaks when he gets out.......saying they aren't

>> >> playing

>> >> > fair. It's sad, actually.

>> >> > He just does't " comprehend " AT THE TIME that THAT'S how the game

>> >> goes.

>> >> > He gets it later,,,,,after we chat. But,,,,by then, the damage

>> is

>> >> > done. No one wants to play.................I kinda don't blame

>> >> them.

>> >> > Sigh.

>> >> > Robin

>> >> >

>> >> > wrote:

>> >> >> I have " tag " issues! My son tags just a little too hard... then

>> >> has to

>> >> >> sit down the rest of Recess!!

>> >> >>

>> >> >> Jackie

>> >> >> On Jun 18, 2007, at 12:45 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

>> >> >>

>> >> >> > We had " 4-square " nightmares, too!!!!!

>> >> >> > What was yours?

>> >> >> > Robin

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> > Roxanna wrote:

>> >> >> >> Thanks for writing all that. I agree with you. I just

>> wondered

>> >> >> what

>> >> >> >> kinds of stuff you have found around here to do. Sounds like

>> >> there

>> >> >> >> are a lot of options really. That makes me feel much

>> better.

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> When the boys read in the afternoon - is this what they do

>> >> because

>> >> >> >> they like to read or do you direct it more. I mean, do you

>> >> require

>> >> >> >> reading time vs. time spent on computer games, etc. My ds is

>> >> >> really

>> >> >> >> into computers and gaming. My biggest problem will be having

>> >> him

>> >> >> do

>> >> >> >> other things besides playing games. I don't think it will be

>> >> >> >> impossible to put together new routines and rules - just

>> that it

>> >> >> will

>> >> >> >> take effort. lol. Also, if you require reading time, do you

>> >> have

>> >> >> >> them pick a subject and then help them stay focused on that

>> >> >> subject?

>> >> >> >> Do you ask questions each day or have them write reports or

>> >> >> >> presentations on what they are learning? Or do you let them

>> >> read

>> >> >> >> whatever subject they want that week? Do you use virtual

>> >> school or

>> >> >> >> do you homeschool from " scratch? "

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> The playground scenes you describe are exactly what happens

>> to

>> >> my

>> >> >> ds,

>> >> >> >> 10 yo. He wanders around, never fitting in with any one

>> " group "

>> >> >> and

>> >> >> >> then outright struggling in some situations like the " four

>> >> square "

>> >> >> >> nightmare we had the last few weeks of school. The good

>> thing

>> >> >> about

>> >> >> >> middle school is that lunch and recess are total of 30

>> minutes

>> >> and

>> >> >> >> only once a day. Still, I worry. I want to see if they can

>> >> have

>> >> >> him

>> >> >> >> work in the office or help with something instead of just

>> wander

>> >> >> >> around trying to play. And even then, he might get mad and

>> feel

>> >> >> he's

>> >> >> >> being punished if he isn't allowed to just hang out like the

>> >> >> others.

>> >> >> >> So we will have to watch how we set things up. Who knows.

>> >> Middle

>> >> >> >> school is really the land of the unknown even having gone

>> >> through

>> >> >> it

>> >> >> >> already with the oldest ds! Maybe that even makes it worse

>> >> >> because I

>> >> >> >> know what can happen and go wrong.

>> >> >> >>

>> >> >> >> Roxanna

>> >> >> >> Autism Happens

>> >> >> >>> Re: ( ) Homeschooling ASpie kids

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >>> We start at 8am. We are done by noon. Things that happen

>> after

>> >> >> noon

>> >> >> >>> often 'count' as educational - the boys were in 2 hours of

>> >> >> homeschool

>> >> >> >>> afternoon PE classes, for example. Our social activities

>> happen

>> >> >> >>> after

>> >> >> >>> noon as well. I put quotes around the word 'count' because

>> >> truly,

>> >> >> so

>> >> >> >>> many things are educational that are not sit down structured

>> >> >> workbook

>> >> >> >>> stuff. We belong to a homeschool nature journaling club for

>> >> >> example

>> >> >> >>> that meets on a monthly basis, and the kids have taken off

>> with

>> >> >> >>> that.

>> >> >> >>> On their own, Ethan is reading about the Middle East, and

>> >>

>> >> >> is

>> >> >> >>> reading about black-capped chickadees. They have time to

>> >> devote to

>> >> >> >>> their interests because once their workbooks are done, they

>> >> are on

>> >> >> >>> their own to do things. Back in March opted to

>> research

>> >> >> rocks

>> >> >> >>> and minerals. Ethan read about US in the 1800's.

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >>> Anyway, back to social stuff. I keep them active in scouts,

>> and

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >>> participates in baseball. During the school year, I also had

>> >> them

>> >> >> in

>> >> >> >>> the after school PTA specials, so Ethan did chess and

>> >> did

>> >> >> the

>> >> >> >>> zoo club.

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >>> We belong to a hiking club that has public schooled kids. We

>> >> met

>> >> >> on

>> >> >> >>> T

>> >> >> >>> nights to hike during the public school year - now we are

>> >> meeting

>> >> >> >>> throughout the week at various times. Last week we even

>> went on

>> >> >> two

>> >> >> >>> hikes the same day - one hike with a family that has three

>> >> kids.

>> >> >> >>> Another hike with two families that have four kids.

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >>> Every T afternoon we head to a local town and meet other

>> >> >> homeschool

>> >> >> >>> kids. There are 30 families in this particular group (it's

>> >> >> >>> ecclectic)

>> >> >> >>> and 5-10 families show up each week to play for several

>> hours.

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >>> We also have weekly playdates with a homeschool family in

>> >> another

>> >> >> >>> town. A couple of weeks ago Ethan came up to me at a park

>> and

>> >> said

>> >> >> >>> he

>> >> >> >>> did not want to play what the other kids were playing. I

>> told

>> >> him

>> >> >> >>> that

>> >> >> >>> it was ok - that he could do something else. He then said,

>> >> " But I

>> >> >> >>> want

>> >> >> >>> to be where the other kids are. " That's pretty big coming

>> from

>> >> >> him!

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >>> Anyway, IF you decide to take your son home, let me know.

>> You

>> >> >> can't

>> >> >> >>> believe how Ethan has bloomed in this environment. This is

>> >> pretty

>> >> >> >>> much

>> >> >> >>> a direct quote from him, " I get a lot more done in a lot

>> less

>> >> >> time,

>> >> >> >>> and

>> >> >> >>> I get to spend more time doing what I want and playing with

>> >> other

>> >> >> >>> kids. I also get to see Baby more. "

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >>> I don't believe for a minute that Ethan is suffering

>> socially.

>> >> I

>> >> >> >>> used to go to recess and watch him from my car circling the

>> >> >> >>> playground biting his coat in anxiety. 30 minutes was not

>> >> enough

>> >> >> >>> time for him to relax and engage with others. The 20-30

>> minute

>> >> >> lunch

>> >> >> >>> he got where he could have spent time talking with other

>> kids

>> >> was

>> >> >> a

>> >> >> >>> loss on him as well. The environment was too loud. There was

>> >> too

>> >> >> >>> much to watch. He liked to time how long it took classes to

>> >> line

>> >> >> up

>> >> >> >>> and leave. He liked to be first in line and would pay

>> >> attention to

>> >> >> >>> the cues that his table was about to be dismissed. When

>> other

>> >> kids

>> >> >> >>> talked to him, he did not hear them. The final 15 minutes in

>> >> the

>> >> >> day

>> >> >> >>> devoted to recess - a joke for any kid let alone a child on

>> the

>> >> >> >>> spectrum. As far as social interactions throughout the rest

>> of

>> >> the

>> >> >> >>> day? They might talk in line, but getting in trouble for

>> doing

>> >> so

>> >> >> >>> made Ethan not only stop but get mad and yell at other kids

>> for

>> >> >> doing

>> >> >> >>> it. They were told to read a book when they got done with

>> desk

>> >> >> work -

>> >> >> >>> not talk to others.

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >>> Anyway, sorry to go on and on, LOL - I am passionate about

>> >> this. I

>> >> >> >>> don't think it is for every family or every kid but it

>> always

>> >> >> gets my

>> >> >> >>> underthings bunched up when somebody makes it seem like

>> >> >> homeschooled

>> >> >> >>> kids are raised in bubbles. I don't think that every time a

>> >> family

>> >> >> >>> is having trouble with the school they ought to homeschool.

>> I

>> >> >> don't

>> >> >> >>> think every time a homeschool family is struggling with

>> >> >> socialization

>> >> >> >>> that public school is the solution, either.

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >>> >

>> >> >> >>> > How does he get contact with other kids while being

>> >> >> homeschooled?

>> >> >> >>> >

>> >> >> >>> > Roxanna

>> >> >> >>> > Autism Happens

>> >> >> >>>

>> >> >> >

>> >> >> > Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on

>> >> Travel.

>> >> >> >

>> >> > Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative

>> >> vehicles.

>> >> > Visit the Auto Green Center.

>> > You snooze, you lose. Get messages ASAP with AutoCheck

>> > in the all-new Beta.

> Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket:

> mail, news, photos & more.

June 19, 2007

I know

this is long but I thought this might help – I found this online. Many

AS kids also suffer from dysgraphia – my 17 year old was diagnosed with

dysgraphia while in elementary school although we did not get Asperger

diagnosis until he was 15 (diagnosis of ADHD age 5). Tyler’s

handwriting is horrible – his printing is almost illegible and while his

cursive is very good it is laborious and takes him forever. He used an

Alpha Smart in elementary school and has been allowed to do computer-generated

work as well as having notes provided, etc. I did not include the

strategies for teenagers and adults as I see most of the talk about poor

writing skills is among parents with younger children. Hope this helps.

What

is Dysgraphia?

Dysgraphia is a learning disability that affects writing abilities. It can

manifest itself as difficulties with spelling, poor handwriting and trouble

putting thoughts on paper. Because writing requires a complex set of motor and

information processing skills, saying a student has dysgraphia is not

sufficient. A student with disorders in written expression will benefit from

specific accommodations in the learning environment, as well as additional

practice learning the skills required to be an accomplished writer.

What are the Warning Signs of Dysgraphia?

Just having bad handwriting doesn't mean a person has dysgraphia. Since

dysgraphia is a processing disorder, difficulties can change throughout a

lifetime. However since writing is a developmental process -children learn the

motor skills needed to write, while learning the thinking skills needed to

communicate on paper - difficulties can also overlap.

If a person has trouble in any of the areas below, additional

help may be beneficial.

·

Tight, awkward pencil grip and body position

·

Illegible handwriting

·

Avoiding writing or drawing tasks

·

Tiring quickly while writing

·

Saying words out loud while writing

·

Unfinished or omitted words in sentences

·

Difficulty organizing thoughts on paper

·

Difficulty with syntax structure and grammar

·

Large gap between written ideas and understanding demonstrated

through speech.

What Strategies Can Help?

There are many ways to help a person with dysgraphia achieve success. Generally

strategies fall into three categories:

·

Accommodations: providing alternatives to written expression

·

Modifications: changing expectations or tasks to minimize or avoid

the area of weakness

·

Remediation: providing instruction for improving handwriting and

writing skills

Each type of strategy should be considered when planning

instruction and support. A person with dysgraphia will benefit from help from

both specialists and those who are closest to the person. Finding the most

beneficial type of support is a process of trying different ideas and openly

exchanging thoughts on what works best.

Below are some examples of how to teach individuals with

dysgraphia to overcome some of their difficulties with written expression.

Early Writers

·

Use paper with raised lines for a sensory guide to staying

within the lines.

·

Try different pens and pencils to find one that's most

comfortable.

·

Practice writing letters and numbers in the air with big arm

movements to improve motor memory of these important shapes. Also practice

letters and numbers with smaller hand or finger motions.

·

Encourage proper grip, posture and paper positioning for

writing. It's important to reinforce this early as it's difficult for students

to unlearn bad habits later on.

·

Use multi-sensory techniques for learning letters, shapes and

numbers. For example, speaking through motor sequences, such as " b "

is " big stick down, circle away from my body. "

·

Introduce a word processor on a computer early; however do not

eliminate handwriting for the child. While typing can make it easier to write

by alleviating the frustration of forming letters, handwriting is a vital part

of a person's ability to function in the world.

·

Be patient and positive, encourage practice and praise effort -

becoming a good writer takes time and practice.

Young Students

·

Allow use of print or cursive - whichever is more comfortable.

·

Use large graph paper for math calculation to keep columns and

rows organized.

·

Allow extra time for writing assignments.

·

Begin writing assignments creatively with drawing, or speaking

ideas into a tape recorder

·

Alternate focus of writing assignments - put the emphasis on

some for neatness and spelling, others for grammar or organization of ideas.

·

Explicitly teach different types of writing - expository and

personal essays, short stories, poems, etc.

·

Do not judge timed assignments on neatness and spelling.

·

Have students proofread work after a delay - it's easier to see

mistakes after a break.

·

Help students create a checklist for editing work - spelling,

neatness, grammar, syntax, clear progression of ideas, etc.

·

Encourage use of a spell checker - speaking spell checkers are

available for handwritten work

·

Reduce amount of copying; instead, focus on writing original

answers and ideas

·

Have student complete tasks in small steps instead of all at

once.

·

Find alternative means of assessing knowledge, such as oral

reports or visual projects

·

Encourage practice through low-stress opportunities for writing

such as letters, a diary, making household lists or keeping track of sports

teams.

June 19, 2007

Some public schools have great programs for kids with AS. It's not always easy to find them. San Diego Unified School District has a great program at the elementary and middle school levels, but we had to go to due process to get it. Lots of teachers (inclluding special ed teachers) don't even know it's there.LizOn Jun 18, 2007, at 3:40 PM, ACuitino@... wrote:I would add that you should find a private and small class size school. I really believe that a public school setting may be damaging for Aspie children. They need a nurturing environment at least until they complete high school and they have more tools to survive in a normal educational setting.

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