Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 If you have or if you get legal custody, he won't have a choice. The courts will make him pay till she's 18 or he'll be the one in jail. Contact Legal Aid in your state. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 Why on earth should you have to pay support for your son? Does your ex make more than you? Are the support laws really different in Louisiana? When I got my divorce, the husband was responsible for child support. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 If my daughter ever turned her life around, I would feel that she was like the prodigal son returning. I would be so proud of her. I am very proud of my son, but if does have this illness and she made such an effort to get better, how could I not be proud of her? Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 Why would he be able to make you pay support for someone you lost legal custody of? Was this a lawyer you spoke to? Although, with my experience lately with lawyers I don't think half of them know what they're talking about. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 Can you get any kind of state assistance? In RI, it's on a sliding scale depending on what you earn? If you get that, they'll go after the ex. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 Well legal battles ARE strressful, so probably best for you to leave well enough alone. He doesn't know where your daughter is living? Life is never easy, is it? Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 Oh believe me, I will be....I am always careful with affairs of the heart... cascorsam@... wrote: Regarding Jon----just be careful. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 It is inhumane, and I don't get paid near what I should for the amout of work I do, so I am going to go back to school or look else where for a job...even Mc's would pay me more than I make now, and not so stressful, cause you are assigned to fries or whatever. I was so tempted today to tell then where to stick their job, when my co-workers won't even break down their own boxes....I have to and take them out to the dumpster... cascorsam@... wrote: With the amount of work you do, it sounds inhumane. I never saw my daughter look stressed when she was waitressing. If things ever got too busy, the managers used to help out. She never complained about anything other than an annoying customer once in awhile. And if there had been a problem she certainly would have complained. She used to brag that she was the fastest waitress so she may have liked the pressure. If she had 5 tables, she would ask them to give her an extra of a slower waitress who didn't want as many. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 No, I must to have missed it or not gotten to it yet...I won't ask Brit's dad for nothing and he told me " You have had 8 years to save up for her. " Ha what a laugh, I was an addict most of those years....I am planning on it...I heard they work better with you to...my boss throws a fit from you know where every time I have to take off for my daughters therapy... cascorsam@... wrote: Did you read my post about getting your ex to pay child support? And my word, if you can make more at Mc's why don't you go there as fast as you can. I spent a lot of time at Mickey D's with my grandsons and I never saw anyone look stressed. Aren't there state work laws in Indiana (that' s where you are, right?) regarding breaks, etc? Be assertive, get another job and go back to school. If you're not so exhausted you can work and go to school. Do one part time. You have your whole life ahead of you, you should have a job you enjoy. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 I talked to them when I first got her back, and they told me I would have to go back to Louisiana, cause first I would have to get legal custody... only gave me a noterized paper saying she was in my care and that I was totally responsible for her....see I lost my parental rights when my daughter was 8.....but then he could make me pay support on my son, who he has, and I can't afford that for a while... cascorsam@... wrote: If you have or if you get legal custody, he won't have a choice. The courts will make him pay till she's 18 or he'll be the one in jail. Contact Legal Aid in your state. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 28, 2005 Not that I don't want to pay support on my son....I only bring home $240 every other week....sad I know, especially when I use to work DOC and make 3 times that. I would love to be a part of my son's life, but my son don't want me there in his life...So see your daughter might pay in the long run with her children too... cascorsam@... wrote: If you have or if you get legal custody, he won't have a choice. The courts will make him pay till she's 18 or he'll be the one in jail. Contact Legal Aid in your state. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 See, when I got my divorce, my BPD was in wild swing...and I was so confused...and homeless...nobody told me the state would give me an attorney, so even though my ex husband slept with a minor before our divorce, I was the " bad " one because of my behaviors and he got custody and I got visitation. Well, my BPD got really bad again, and I was sick, I got behind on my child support...yes I had to pay child support...so my ex told me either catch up on my lump sum of child support I was behind or go to jail.....I couldn't do either, I couldn't be a function drug addict in jail...I was so selfish then, so I lost my parental rights. Now, in hindsight, I would have went to jail.....Yes my ex makes 12 dollars an hour.... cascorsam@... wrote: Why on earth should you have to pay support for your son? Does your ex make more than you? Are the support laws really different in Louisiana? When I got my divorce, the husband was responsible for child support. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 I have my daughter on medicaid...and they wanted her dad's name, and I told them I didn't know where he was, cause I don't want him to know how little money I make....I know it might be wrong, but once he gets involved it turns into a nightmare....he is not a nice person... cascorsam@... wrote: Can you get any kind of state assistance? In RI, it's on a sliding scale depending on what you earn? If you get that, they'll go after the ex. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 He would do it just to do it....to put me in a bad situation, my ex husband is not a nice person....think about it, he turned his back on his own daughter, who is only 16, because of her behaviors.... cascorsam@... wrote: Why would he be able to make you pay support for someone you lost legal custody of? Was this a lawyer you spoke to? Although, with my experience lately with lawyers I don't think half of them know what they're talking about. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 I know, cause I feel so much pride in the little improving my daughter has done...I brag on her constantly....my mom is a tough cookie...I guess seeing two daughters die and having to watch me live on the border of life and death for so many years has hardened her....she was not very affectionate to begin with...sometimes i wonder if she don't have traits...she keeps everybody, even my dad at arms length...in my 36 years of life, I can never remember them hugging or kissing... cascorsam@... wrote: If my daughter ever turned her life around, I would feel that she was like the prodigal son returning. I would be so proud of her. I am very proud of my son, but if does have this illness and she made such an effort to get better, how could I not be proud of her? Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 Yes, he knows she is with me, and he never contacts her and he has our number...so go figure.. susan cascorsam@... wrote: Well legal battles ARE strressful, so probably best for you to leave well enough alone. He doesn't know where your daughter is living? Life is never easy, is it? Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 Kelley Times have changed re child support. When I was divorced 30 years ago, only the husband paid, at least in my case, but he made more money than God---as the saying goes. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 both parents are obligated to support the children. You don't have to ask him for anything, just file in court a request for child support. Legal Aid can help you with the papers, and he does have an obligation! Did you pay child suport when she was not living with you? Hugs Kelley Re: No, I must to have missed it or not gotten to it yet...I won't ask Brit's dad for nothing and he told me " You have had 8 years to save up for her. " Ha what a laugh, I was an addict most of those years....I am planning on it...I heard they work better with you to...my boss throws a fit from you know where every time I have to take off for my daughters therapy... cascorsam@... wrote: Did you read my post about getting your ex to pay child support? And my word, if you can make more at Mc's why don't you go there as fast as you can. I spent a lot of time at Mickey D's with my grandsons and I never saw anyone look stressed. Aren't there state work laws in Indiana (that' s where you are, right?) regarding breaks, etc? Be assertive, get another job and go back to school. If you're not so exhausted you can work and go to school. Do one part time. You have your whole life ahead of you, you should have a job you enjoy. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 Wel that makes sense , but you should make that legal custody. Hugs kelley Re: I talked to them when I first got her back, and they told me I would have to go back to Louisiana, cause first I would have to get legal custody... only gave me a noterized paper saying she was in my care and that I was totally responsible for her....see I lost my parental rights when my daughter was 8.....but then he could make me pay support on my son, who he has, and I can't afford that for a while... cascorsam@... wrote: If you have or if you get legal custody, he won't have a choice. The courts will make him pay till she's 18 or he'll be the one in jail. Contact Legal Aid in your state. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 Jean Both parents are responsible for child support. In most states it doesnt matter who makes the most money either. However in this case, it might just wipe itself out. Each of them has one child. So why pay each other? Hgus Kelley Re: Why on earth should you have to pay support for your son? Does your ex make more than you? Are the support laws really different in Louisiana? When I got my divorce, the husband was responsible for child support. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 Parents are obligated to pay child support whether or not they visit the child or have contact with the child in any way. Kelley Re: Why would he be able to make you pay support for someone you lost legal custody of? Was this a lawyer you spoke to? Although, with my experience lately with lawyers I don't think half of them know what they're talking about. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2005 most judges do not put you in jail the first time you dont pay back owed child support, they will work out a payment plan. Sorry you had to go through all that. Kelley Re: See, when I got my divorce, my BPD was in wild swing...and I was so confused...and homeless...nobody told me the state would give me an attorney, so even though my ex husband slept with a minor before our divorce, I was the " bad " one because of my behaviors and he got custody and I got visitation. Well, my BPD got really bad again, and I was sick, I got behind on my child support...yes I had to pay child support...so my ex told me either catch up on my lump sum of child support I was behind or go to jail.....I couldn't do either, I couldn't be a function drug addict in jail...I was so selfish then, so I lost my parental rights. Now, in hindsight, I would have went to jail.....Yes my ex makes 12 dollars an hour.... cascorsam@... wrote: Why on earth should you have to pay support for your son? Does your ex make more than you? Are the support laws really different in Louisiana? When I got my divorce, the husband was responsible for child support. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 30, 2005 Glad your therapy session went well today. It is important for your daughter to have you thinking and behaving emotionally at your peak, otherwise you wouldn't be able to help her. I think that is why many of us should be in therapy, so we could be a more positive influence on our BP children and young adults. Sometimes we may think we are OK, but others see that we could use a mental " tune-up " . Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 30, 2005 When you were creating chaos, did you always make sure your family knew about? Was it mainly your family's attention you were looking for or would anyone's attention be okay? Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 30, 2005 Yes, and it did alot to help me to get things out, where I could be " raw " with my emotion, and let my true feelings out...I have these red flags that start going up. But, as my therapist said, that most parents of BPD children should seek therapy to help them with the feelings and things they go through dealing with their child... cascorsam@... wrote: Glad your therapy session went well today. It is important for your daughter to have you thinking and behaving emotionally at your peak, otherwise you wouldn't be able to help her. I think that is why many of us should be in therapy, so we could be a more positive influence on our BP children and young adults. Sometimes we may think we are OK, but others see that we could use a mental " tune-up " . Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
