Guest guest Report post Posted August 30, 2000 Diane - My name is and my daughter is 7 yrs old with RSS. I'm on the list serv and only respond once in awhile. Your note about checking out the daycare center and getting in your car and sobbing struck a cord with me. I too have had that experience, except that the director was very honest with me and said she did not feel comfortable taking Jordan. I too sat in my car and cried my eyes out. It wasn't the first time and sure won't be the last time we feel this way. Anyway, my point is you should feel this way. Your protecting your daughter. And I am sure you wouldn't want to send her someplace she isn't wanted. Well hang in there. P. n a message dated 8/30/00 1:13:40 PM Pacific Daylight Time, Dzanghi@... writes: << ar Debby, Glad there's more than one new " kid " on the block. Thank you for the words of encouragement. The other day I had a big blow...I have been so pleased with a's improvements in language over the summer and when I took her to check out a daycare center for her...well, you know they are supposed to accept all children but, I could see it in the directors eyes that he wasn't so sure that she'd fit in. He was kind, but I just walked out of there got to the car and started sobbing. I guess her growth almost seems secondary to the language. We have tried to be so patient. She's in speech, has had early intervention. I don't know. Anyhow, thanks for listening. Adam is going into second grade? It makes me frustrated for you to hear that the doctor looks at you with contemt and disgust. Hopefully, you will have the strength to win! Tomorrow, we are supposed to get our results from the GH-testing done 2wks ago. Maybe I'll have more info for you to show your doc. Take Care & Hugs to you for strength! Diane (mom of a, RSS likely, 3.5, 22#, 33 " & ,6) BTW My husband, Vince, thanks you for his extra hug the other night! >> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 30, 2000 Hi Diane I think you misread my email somewhat. It's not the doctor looking at me with disgust...........it's Adam's father..... who will not accept this diagnosis and the fact that he needs growth hormone. Terribly long story. That's why I said you were lucky your husband sounds supportive...he's reading these posts along with you. Fighting the fight alone is a nightmare. Adam will be starting grade 3 on Tuesday. But I've just found out the school board feels his short stature is not a good enough medical reason for him to be bused. I've tried to explain that the kid is exhausted from the walk (he's the size of a 3-4 year old but is really almost 8), and when he walks that far at the end of the day (to the sitters) he falls asleep for the night before I can get dinner into him. I am so frustrated. The doctor had written a letter with my application yet they feel its " not a warrented concern " . Talk about frustration!! Good luck tomorrow at the docs. Debby Dzanghi@... wrote: > > Dear Debby, > Glad there's more than one new " kid " on the block. Thank you for the > words of encouragement. The other day I had a big blow...I have been > so pleased with a's improvements in language over the summer > and when I took her to check out a daycare center for her...well, you > know they are supposed to accept all children but, I could see it in > the directors eyes that he wasn't so sure that she'd fit in. He was > kind, but I just walked out of there got to the car and started > sobbing. I guess her growth almost seems secondary to the language. > We have tried to be so patient. She's in speech, has had early > intervention. I don't know. Anyhow, thanks for listening. Adam is > going into second grade? It makes me frustrated for you to hear that > the doctor looks at you with contemt and disgust. Hopefully, you > will have the strength to win! Tomorrow, we are supposed to get our > results from the GH-testing done 2wks ago. Maybe I'll have more info > for you to show your doc. > Take Care & Hugs to you for strength! > Diane (mom of a, RSS likely, 3.5, 22#, 33 " & ,6) > > BTW My husband, Vince, thanks you for his extra hug the other night! > > > > > > > Hello Everyone, > > > > > > > > > > I was directed to this support group through Friend > and > > > > am > > > > > grateful to her. We arrived to a diagnosis of RSS in a round > > > about > > > > > way. a was born by way of emergency c-section due to > > > fetal > > > > > distress after a long labor. She was 5lbs 12 oz and 19 inches > > > > long. > > > > > She aspriated meconium & blood so badly that her circulatory > > > system > > > > > became toxic. Within 3 hours we had her emergency baptized > and > > > she > > > > > was airlifted to CHOP in Phila., PA. There she was place on > > > ECMO, > > > > > which is basically heart and lung bypass. The blood is taken > out > > > > of > > > > > the body, purified and then replaced. She needed many blood > > > > > transfusions and was on every type of med imaginable. What a > > > > sight. > > > > > The whole room was filled with technology to support her > vitals. > > > > You > > > > > could hardly even see where the baby was upon entering the > ecmo > > > > > room. Anyhow, after many trials and tribulations she overcame > > > > these > > > > > challenges. But, then came the issue of gaining weight. She > was > > > > fed > > > > > by an ng-tube and then progressed onto a special bottle (The > > > > > Haberman). She was a projectile vommiter. She was sickly and > > > also > > > > > had the chronic lung disease issues and deaf in her left > ear. A > > > > lot > > > > > of this has, I'm sure, delayed an RSS diagnosis because > failure > > > to > > > > > gain weight, developmental delays, and low muscle tone were > all > > > > > blamed on her beginnings. We have been to many specialists > as I > > > > see > > > > > most of you have so, no need to list them. We are fortunate > that > > > > she > > > > > eats, yet she remains small in size. She is 3.5, 22lbs., 33 > in. > > > > RSS > > > > > was suspected last year and has been confirmed, I guess, just > > > this > > > > > July. She has tested positive for maternal UPD7 through the > > > > Canadian > > > > > study. But, we are hesitant to trust the test because my > > > husband's > > > > > blood did not grow properly in the lab. We all resubmitted > blood > > > > > samples about 2 weeks ago when a was in for growth- > hormone > > > > > stim testing. We are awaiting results regarding whether she > is > > > GH- > > > > > deficient. Are there any other RSS parents that have children > > > with > > > > > delayed expressive language. There is so much more to our > story, > > > > but > > > > > this is getting long. I must say that I have read about 1000 > e- > > > > mails > > > > > from the archives and have had much inspiration from you all. > > > > > > > > > > Thank you, > > > > > Sincerely, > > > > > > > > > > Diane Zanghi (mother to a, sliding on the 3rd%ile for > H/W > > > > and > > > > > 75th% for head circ., RSS - I guess, and 6yrs., 78#, > > > 51 " - > > > > > He's at the other end of the growth chart.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted January 18, 2001 I would like to unsubscribe for the time being, lots of mail to catch up on, and when I am ready will return to the group. I will keep in touch through the web site, Thanks, Debbie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 22, 2001 , you are not alone with this crazy illness. I'm 34 yrs. old and I have been battling the hives for 11 months now. I have been on all kinds of meds and Nothing seems to work. This group will help you when you are down or just want to cry. We all know what you are going through and will give you all the support you need all you have to do is post a note and you will have all kinds of people writing you. Everyone supports each other. Happy to have you as a member and I welcome you. C2d24@... Dee, Louisville, Kentucky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 22, 2001 Hi this is Dee, I haven't been on the pill for over one year. I had a partail Hysterectomy last july. So the pill is out for me, how I started with the hives was when I was having female problems. And my regular Doc put me on low dose of estrogen, that I did not want to take I only took 5 of them and within a week I woke up with hives all over my body. I do believe this was my cause for hives. I'm considering going to the Mayo Clinic just to let another doc who specialize on the hive issue. C2d24@... Dee, Louisville Kentucky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 15, 2005 & Kelley It's simple, she LIES about everything. She waitressed a couple of months before she has to turn in pay stubs and it then appears her wages are from waitressing alone. With real estate, it's commissions so there is no trail until she files her income taxes this April. She has worked with me in real estate for 2 years now and has gotten away with it. I have told her she is bordering on being a criminal and her response is that everyone cheats welfare. And I haven't wanted to think about it, so I pretend, I guess, that she wasn't doing it. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 16, 2005 Kelley and I wondered the same thing about food stamps. Shoot, when my husband and I were just married and had a kiddo, we made like $350/month, and DIDN'T qualify for food stamps! > Jean > With that kind of income how on earth is she getting food stamps? and getting away with " dirtbag " living there? Most food stamp/welfare offices require if you dont work you go to volunteer work.....not to mention her income is too high for food stamps, and if she has a loan on a car her car is most likely too new to qualify for foodstamps..... > just wondering how people get away with this kind a thing, when i was desperate and out of work, i couldnt get squat! > Hugs > Kelley > Re: > > > I guess we'll just wait till her money runs out. Once she has nothing and > believe me she will not be working in real estate with me any longer. Not that > she works when the dirt bag is in her life anyway. Her bills come to almost > $3500 per month----mortgage, new car payment, insurance for the house and car, > food over and above what food stamps gives her. With what I paid her last > year and the 3 commissions she actually managed to put together, she earned over > $50,000 last year. She has to pay income taxes on that, because real estate > agents are considered self employed. Oh and she paid a lawyer for the dirt > bag---$2000 for that. So the $30,000 that she took out on the refinance of her > house won't be lasting too long. > > So she should be broke in about 6 months, especially if she starts buying him > drugs again which is what she did last year. > > Just don't know what she is thinking. > > Jean > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 16, 2005 Have you talked with a family law attorney? Many things are not what they seem when it comes to the law and the courts. I would suggest getting a good professional opinion as to what you should and should not be doing. Don't sabotage yourself when it comes to helping your grandkids - a lawyer worth their salt will have some good input for you. Good luck with this. Carolyn -- In WTOParentsOfBPs , cascorsam@a... wrote: > & Kelley > > It's simple, she LIES about everything. She waitressed a couple of months > before she has to turn in pay stubs and it then appears her wages are from > waitressing alone. With real estate, it's commissions so there is no trail until > she files her income taxes this April. She has worked with me in real estate > for 2 years now and has gotten away with it. I have told her she is bordering > on being a criminal and her response is that everyone cheats welfare. > And I haven't wanted to think about it, so I pretend, I guess, that she > wasn't doing it. > Jean > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 16, 2005 Jean " Just don't know what she is thinking. " Think of it this way, if you and I are rational thinkers, knowing right from wrong. BP's thinking is the opposite of ours. But in her mind, your daughter IS thinking rationally. It sucks majorly! It's like telling a kid not to run across a road without looking because of the dangers: there are cars, there are bikes. there are trucks, etc etc. But yet they will still cross the road without looking. Probably not a good analogy but the first one I could think of. My daughter would ride the trains/trams/buses without paying for a ticket, I could tell her until I was blue in the face of the consequences to no avail. When she got a fine of over $100, she started buying a ticket. She's also fearless, nothing's ever going to happen to her. what I call the 'teenage invincibility' or superman effect!!!! What's wrong with walking home from her (then) boyfriends at 3 am?!?!?! What's wrong with going out and getting drunk with a whole bunch of people she'd met the previous night??? 'Don't worry mum, what's your problem?' Why shouldn't I go out with some guy I met the night before? He's name's.... um.... er.... let me look at my phone, oh yeah it's BLAH BLAH.' My reply that time was......... my worry AND problem is this: when the police come to the door and ask me about the person they found murdered in the gutter or whatever..... " " I " " will be the one that will have to confront them, " " I " " will be the one that has to identify YOU, or if you're left diabled...... " " I " " am the one that will have to care or find care for you!!!!!!! You go out with some guy you know NOTHING about and and wonder what my problem is and why I worry!!!!! What can I say, I'm becoming good at throwing major reality type stuff in her face. She didn't end up going out with that guy. Thankfully for my sanity at the time!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 Yesterday morning 2 plain clothed detectives for the RI State Police came to my door to ask me questions about my daughter and her husband. They are assigned to " bring him in " . He is considered a fugitive now. They just called me this morning to tell me my grandsons have been found with the dirt bag's brother( a drug user according to my daughter). She left my grandsons with HIM and the police say she has the baby with them. The police believe they are in a hotel somewhere in the state. They guarantee me they WILL find him. I spoke to child protective services yesterday. They can do nothing. At this point they do not consider my daughter's conduct abusive. The guy at protective services said HE would consider my daughter to be a lousy parent, but based on the laws, she hasn't done anything wrong enough yet. I can see how much SHE LOVES them by the way she just dumped them with Will's brother. I know she won't leave them with me out of spite. I read Carolyn's post about her daughter. I just do not see my daughter as a BP. There is no sorrow or remorse for ANYTHING she does. All she looks for is immediate gratification. When she thought that the dirt bag wasn't getting out on parole, she screamed at me that if he didn't get out to help her with this baby, she didn't even want " the little bastard " . I was appalled and told her so. One of those little things that are so shockingly horrible that I just buried it till I woke this morning thinking about her " strong " maternal instincts!! Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 NO !!!!!! I do not agree with you. I think you are basing your assessments Of BP on your persaonal feelings from what you felt when you were young and perhaps your daughter as well. I'm sure many of these kids are capable of love. I do not think MY daughter is. Feelings are great, but she has to act in a responsible way as well. There is a certain amount of responsibility that goes along with loving someone. If one is not just paying lip service to it. She can say she " loves " them, but she is not acting so. My daughter is scarring these kids. They have never stayed with strangers before. I know they must be traumatized. Interesting that she took the baby with her. That's because dirt bag probaly wanted the baby. He does not like my grandsons and locking them in their rooms was my first clue. If he told her to get rid of the boys, I'm sure she would. It's ALL about what he wants. I just pray that she will realize that she is no good for them and give them up. But no, , please don't tell me my daughter loves these boys. She may or may not love the baby. After all the baby is white and his. She only wanted it, I'm sure, to hold onto him (catch that he is). Whatever she suffers from, she does not love. She NEEDS but doesn't love. I never knew that she could be THIS bad. When she falls on her face this time, I WILL NOT be there to pick up the pieces. I do not love my daughter, it would be like the parents of serial killers who still stand behind them! She's exhausted MY capacity to love her. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 I know you're not my enemy. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 Kelley Thanks for writing back. I cannot see how the dirtbag 's family would have any rights to the boys. They are not his children. The boys are inter racial. The father, whom my daughter never put on the birth certificate, is black. Dirt bag is blond, blue eyed. She can say he is the boys father all she wants, he's not. As far as the baby is concerned. I have no history with this child. I have seen her once, when I picked everyone up at the hospital when she was 2 days old. I have no bond with this child. And quite honestly, I do not want custody of an infant. I know I need to find a counselor. I am about to explode. If I have a stroke, then I won't have to deal with all this misery any longer. You really feel that she is borderline? She must have a very serious case of it, because it doesn't seem like anyone else's kids act this irrationally or irresponsibly at the age of 31. Thanks Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 And what will ever get her back IN control? I am sorry I am so angry. I am angry right now at the world, please don't take it personally. You have given me some very good advice in the past which I have been grateful for. I cannot believe that protevtive service won't do anything for these children. Again I am sorry if I am not nice right now. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 Kelley Nooo, they will not arrest her or aiding and abetting. I already asked them that. If she is the wife, in this dumb state she is allowed to aid and abett all she wants. I hoped that if she was jailed, she might rage so much they would send her to a psych evaluation, but I don't ever see that happening. I feel sooooo hopeless. jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 I asked about the school issue as well and he told me that the school would have to report truancy and they cannot get involved in that until the school reports it and since the principal won't return my calls, I can't get her to do that. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 Sounds like at least the police are doing something, even if CPS won't. You certainly have cause to be bitter and angry from all that you have gone through with this daughter, and the way she has jerked you AND the grandkids around. Hopefully, the police can take care of this whole mess and find the boyfriend. Does it really matter whether your dtr is bp or not? She is fortunate to have you as her mom, caring and concerned, and willing to help the police and step in. She may not realize that, but YOUR love shines through for those two grandsons. The comments about " love " and " strong maternal instincts " were rather catty. I know you don't agree with me, and surely, isn't that knowledge sufficient? I'm not your enemy!!! -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.8.0 - Release Date: 3/21/2005 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 Jean sounds like your only option is a court custody case. as for your daughter feeling love and sorrow and remorse, that is just the issue with BPD, she doesnt show it and you dont see it, but the intensity of those emotions are so cut up into little peices of pictures and she does not perceive them as you would. you have every right to be angry at this moment in time, but love is not something we stop doing as parents, we dislike, hate, refuse to participate with the people they have beccome but the basic love for the child is still there. Parents of serial killers still love thier children perahps but do not necissarily beleive they did right. I am so worried about you as a person. The anger and bitterness allthough rightfully so is going to eat at you until you are sick physically. Please please please get the help of a therapist to process this overwhelming amount of emotions you are having to deal with. Back to the grand kids, get a good atttorney, and file for an emergency custody hearing. If the brother is a drug user and there is any question they will drug test him. this will start an investigation as to temporary guardianship of these children, be prepared though to see them split up if the dirtbags family fights for custody of his children. Be prepared also for the judge to not be able to see which family is at present best for the children, might even see you as someone who would not foster a relationship with the mother and that would not go in your favor and there is the destinct likelihood of them temproarily going to fostor care while this is deciided. On the other hand if you can prove that your home and income and lifestyle is better suited to raising three children in comparison to the dirt bags family well then the children have a chance! Just remember that BPD is an emotional/mental illness, if these people could show emotions properly or even process them properly none of us would be here. Many Big Hugs and prayers with you Kelley Re: Yesterday morning 2 plain clothed detectives for the RI State Police came to my door to ask me questions about my daughter and her husband. They are assigned to " bring him in " . He is considered a fugitive now. They just called me this morning to tell me my grandsons have been found with the dirt bag's brother( a drug user according to my daughter). She left my grandsons with HIM and the police say she has the baby with them. The police believe they are in a hotel somewhere in the state. They guarantee me they WILL find him. I spoke to child protective services yesterday. They can do nothing. At this point they do not consider my daughter's conduct abusive. The guy at protective services said HE would consider my daughter to be a lousy parent, but based on the laws, she hasn't done anything wrong enough yet. I can see how much SHE LOVES them by the way she just dumped them with Will's brother. I know she won't leave them with me out of spite. I read Carolyn's post about her daughter. I just do not see my daughter as a BP. There is no sorrow or remorse for ANYTHING she does. All she looks for is immediate gratification. When she thought that the dirt bag wasn't getting out on parole, she screamed at me that if he didn't get out to help her with this baby, she didn't even want " the little bastard " . I was appalled and told her so. One of those little things that are so shockingly horrible that I just buried it till I woke this morning thinking about her " strong " maternal instincts!! Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 You're right--I AM basing my assessment of bp on my personal feelings and experiences--I have nothing else to go by except that which I've read, which I do believe back up my feelings. I believe that my personal feelings and experiences, and that which I've learned over the years DOES help some people. Obviously, your situation is different from what I experienced and believe. You are certainly welcome to toss out anything I say; I don't pretend to be an authority on anyone except myself. However, you were very angry in your comments towards me, and I think that anger is misplaced. If you choose to be angry, focus it on your dtr and her actions, not me. I'm sorry that you find yourself in this situation with your dtr., and of course, the innocent victims of this whole mess--your grandkids. She does sound extremely out-of-control, and that is very, very sad, both for her, you and the grandkids. -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.8.0 - Release Date: 3/21/2005 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 Kelley-- Thanks for your comments. I was really feeling like I was hanging on a limb all by myself there! Bitterness and anger ARE very strong emotions, and if not dealt with, can eat like a termite at a person's quality of life. I, too, am very concerned about you, and would urge you to seek help in sorting through and dealing with those emotions so that you may move on in life. I definitely agree, Kelley--bp's feelings are often chopped into tiny pieces, and many times nobody but them knows they even exist. Touche, Kelley. I think it IS important to understand that the crux, perhaps even the primary motivation, behind a bp's actions is relationship problems and not knowing how to connect and deal with their emotions. It's a tough spot to be in--both as a parent, and the bp. -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.8.0 - Release Date: 3/21/2005 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 I spent so much time being angry at my BPH or hurt over the things he did that I was a mess. Not only an emotional mental waste but physically ill as well. Now that I have goteen to the point where I know iti s not really about me at all, and that most everything he does angrily is about something totally different it is a whole lot easier to deal with. My anger was eating me up. I found also that I was not even angry with him, but angry at myself for letting all this get to me! When he is a jerk i let him be a jerk all by himself. When he is not a jerk I love him like any good wife. When his son is being an obnoxious brat emulating mom or dads jerkiness I treat him as a brat, when he is not being a brat he gets far better attention from me. Now the mom's bpness I cant deal with, i have no control over her actions. She used to talk to me but I became the enemy when a check didnt show up when she thought it should and she called my BPH a liar, and I set her straight about it. That was my crime and I have been mostly split black since then, other than a few drunken and drugged nights where she raged my ear off on the phone. That woman is so confused and full of hate but I could not hate her only feel bad for her. Hgus Kelley RE: > > Kelley-- > > Thanks for your comments. I was really feeling like I was hanging on a limb > all by myself there! > > Bitterness and anger ARE very strong emotions, and if not dealt with, can > eat like a termite at a person's quality of life. I, too, am very concerned > about you, and would urge you to seek help in sorting through and > dealing with those emotions so that you may move on in life. > > I definitely agree, Kelley--bp's feelings are often chopped into tiny > pieces, and many times nobody but them knows they even exist. > > Touche, Kelley. I think it IS important to understand that the crux, > perhaps even the primary motivation, behind a bp's actions is relationship > problems and not knowing how to connect and deal with their emotions. It's > a tough spot to be in--both as a parent, and the bp. > > > > -- > No virus found in this outgoing message. > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. > Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.8.0 - Release Date: 3/21/2005 > > > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 Very understandable! It's definitely okay to vent; after all, we all do the same. Just concerned you don't only just vent, but also find some way to get some help dealing with these horrid things you're going through. I, too, cannot believe CPS won't get involved. I've heard many stories about them getting involved in issues that were non-issues; how come they can't seem to find and help those who are really desperate? Re: And what will ever get her back IN control? I am sorry I am so angry. I am angry right now at the world, please don't take it personally. You have given me some very good advice in the past which I have been grateful for. I cannot believe that protevtive service won't do anything for these children. Again I am sorry if I am not nice right now. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 Yes from all I have read she is BPD, with a few other diagnoses to make things even more complicated. She sounds very very much like my BPH before I met him, i constant chaos. But focus on you not her, do find a therapist and dont explode and have a stroke. Get yourself feeling better as you need to be better to take care of your grand kids. Most likely the police will jail your daughter as well as the dirtbag, I mean she is aiding and abetting a felon, so an emergency hearing may get you your grandsons quicker. Just keep a cool head and dont be angry when you speak of your daughter, be a worried loving mother where she is concerend, and keep all testimoney to the best interest of the children. your emotions would hurt you today in court. So take care of you before you go off the deep end. Hus kelley Re: Kelley Thanks for writing back. I cannot see how the dirtbag 's family would have any rights to the boys. They are not his children. The boys are inter racial. The father, whom my daughter never put on the birth certificate, is black. Dirt bag is blond, blue eyed. She can say he is the boys father all she wants, he's not. As far as the baby is concerned. I have no history with this child. I have seen her once, when I picked everyone up at the hospital when she was 2 days old. I have no bond with this child. And quite honestly, I do not want custody of an infant. I know I need to find a counselor. I am about to explode. If I have a stroke, then I won't have to deal with all this misery any longer. You really feel that she is borderline? She must have a very serious case of it, because it doesn't seem like anyone else's kids act this irrationally or irresponsibly at the age of 31. Thanks Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 Kelley-- I was fortunate in that when I dealt with my bp issues, I lived alone! But, what that also meant was that I internalized a lot of things that it sounds like other bps splat on others. Of course, I acted outrageously with my friends, and they never knew what was going to happen from one moment to the next, but most of the time, I was alone in my apartment, starving, throwing-up, taking laxatives, dissociating, crying, being depressed. During that time, I was able to have very regular visits with an extremely caring general practitioner, who eventually was responsible for hooking me up with the shrink that saved my life. MOST people who knew me had NO clue what was happening in my head or heart. My employer was shocked when I was hospitalized, then committed. However, just because I internalized a lot of things, and didn't act out like my bp dtr does, and my of the children who read this site, doesn't mean the same issues weren't there. You sound like you've really learned the issues that are involved, and learned to step back from your bph at crucial points. I can see where those things are VERY healthy and what has probably enabled you to maintain your own personal mental health and happiness. Regarding the mom's bp-ness: it's hard enough to deal with bp in the person you love, never mind those circling on the periphery of your life! It takes much love, courage and lots of energy just to deal with ONE bp, never mind more! -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.8.0 - Release Date: 3/21/2005 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted March 23, 2005 Portective services is a very touchy subject with me. they are overworked underpaid and undereducated for thier jobs. They have a set of guidelines to follow that essentially say if the child does not look battered, there is food in the house, and the house is not filthy dirty there is nothing more to investigate. Many abused children get left in bad households and continue to be abused while many get yanked out of thier homes for no reason whatoever. So CPS is reluctant to actually do anything these days. If CPS isnt going to help you do what we are doing. you document (like with your tape recorder) you get evidence with private investigator (expensive) and you file for custody of those children. a good attorney has enough with what is going on now to question the interests of the children. Hugs Kelley Re: And what will ever get her back IN control? I am sorry I am so angry. I am angry right now at the world, please don't take it personally. You have given me some very good advice in the past which I have been grateful for. I cannot believe that protevtive service won't do anything for these children. Again I am sorry if I am not nice right now. Jean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites