Mother's Day Hell

April 24, 2007

How many of you out there HATED mother's day during your childhood

(and beyond). It was one of nada's supreme excuses to really act out

like crazy. My sister's birthday is right around MD, so her BD was

always tainted big-time. MD still sends shivers.

April 24, 2007

Growing up it wasn't ever particularly hellish, but it's become a big

PITA as an adult, especially since she usually has a big rage in the

weeks leading up to it, which she usually tosses in " and don't bother

getting me anything for Mother's Day! " This year, I'll actually

accomodate that request.

April 24, 2007

Growing up it wasn't ever particularly hellish, but it's become a big

PITA as an adult, especially since she usually has a big rage in the

weeks leading up to it, which she usually tosses in " and don't bother

getting me anything for Mother's Day! " This year, I'll actually

accomodate that request.

April 24, 2007

Growing up it wasn't ever particularly hellish, but it's become a big

PITA as an adult, especially since she usually has a big rage in the

weeks leading up to it, which she usually tosses in " and don't bother

getting me anything for Mother's Day! " This year, I'll actually

accomodate that request.

April 24, 2007

Oh absolutely! My nada is waif BP and my mother-in-law is borderline BPD..

but more of a queen/witch. Mother's Day has always been a total nightmare

for me...my MIL is so unbelievable demanding and my nada has always...ALWAYS

created a TON of drama around that time to ASSURE that she had our undivided

attention on Mother's Day...my grandmother used to live where we live now

(next door) so she would always use my grand-mother as a back up plan...we

needed to be here at her house in order to honor my mother AND my

grandmother. One of the last year's my grandmother was alive my mother

feigned a heart attack to drag us all to the hospital...because we were

there we missed an outing at my mother-in-laws (major sin there...for some

reason in that family when she has an event not attending is not an option).

well my husband's grandfather (mother in-law's father) got ahold of my

husband and unleashed a fury on him like I had never seen...because he made

his mother cry (oh boo-freaking-hoo...she had almost 80 people there). I've

never seen anything like it...my husband was actually SOBBING when he hung

up.

Finally, I put my foot down and we started going out of town that weekend.

That first year, I was so desperate I even agreed to camping! (Keep in mind,

my idea of roughing it is staying somewhere without a concierge.) Our

campsite ended up being about 50 yards from a very active railroad (which

came through, horns blaring every 20 minutes...no exceptions). All things

being equal it ended up being a magnificent weekend...we had a great time.

made sure to make the obligatory phone calls on Sunday...and enjoyed every

moment of the weekend. We had a great time, and because we were out of town

and didn't spend time with either one of them, neither one of them got mad!

(Well...they were probably both mad...but they couldn't express it because

we had a legit. excuse) For the life of me, I don't know why we don't do

this for ALL of the holidays!

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

-- Mother's Day Hell

How many of you out there HATED mother's day during your childhood

(and beyond). It was one of nada's supreme excuses to really act out

like crazy. My sister's birthday is right around MD, so her BD was

always tainted big-time. MD still sends shivers.

April 24, 2007

Me too! I hated, hated, hated, HATED Mother's Day!!! First off, I had a lot of

trouble wrapping my mind around the idea of celebrating the Oppressor. Second,

she demanded so much attention and so many gifts. Even if she got everything she

wanted, she still felt slighted. And the worst thing, coincidentally one the

main things that got me thinking she might not be all there, was that every year

I made a big deal of it to keep out of trouble. I made her breakfast in bed,

bought her a dozen rose, a nice gift, most years two, and took her out to her

favorite restaurant. Oh, not to mention the cards and notes around the house

saying " Happy Mother's Day, I love you " so she'd see it when she made coffee or

used the computer etc. I made it the biggest holiday of the year for her. Oddly

enough, little sister has never bought her a Mother's Day or a birthday present.

She just says some nice things and is done with it. Of course, little sis can't

really hold down a job, and didn't

work in high school, so she never has the money for gifts.

Anyway, on little sis's birthday (June 3), among sis's gifts and attention, she

would start complaing about how she didn't get treated as nicely as sister. I

would always say that I did a few things for her and she would deny it! To this

day, she insists every gift given came from little sis. She even tells nada that

those gifts were from me, but nada continues to insist otherwise. She even shows

guests favorite gifts I gave her (like a TV tray that matched her living room

decor and holds her dinner since she likes to eat while watching TV) and says

things like " isn't this nice, my youngest gave it to me " .

I can't understand how she does that for gifts I sent after leaving home. Why

would little sis, who lives WITH nada, have roses delivered? I mean, forgetting,

disassociating, whatever, that's just plain dumb.

I was always the bad child though. She even refered to me as that by way of

introduction, even to her new employees! " This is my daughter, Jae. She's the

bad child. And this, (little sis) is the good one. She's my little angel. " That

used to make me SO mad. I really did do everything I was supposed to. I doted on

her, waited on her hand and foot, never got in trouble at school, got a job at

16 and still worked for free at her office, graduated with honors, went to a

good college and never asked her for money for tuition of books, etc. Sister?

Ignored nada, or complained when asked to do something, always in trouble at

school, caught with boys in her room, cigarettes, pot, alcohol, never got a job,

demanded payment to help nada at the office, never graduated from high school

and had nada pay for her to attend community college, which she flunked out of

after bankrupting me by running up my credit cards at the mall while I was at

work and she was SUPPOSED to be in school.

Yet, in nada's eyes, little sis can do no wrong. Even when she had to explain

to nada why she has HPV and uterine damage from an abortion, she's the good

child. I got yelled at for that, by the way. I was apparently supposed to keep a

better eye on her.

Sorry, that went on a while. It's just so very frustrating. I don't think it

would bug me quite so much if the two of them didn't have the whole extended

family convinced that I'm a terrible daughter and all little sis's problems are

my fault. If nada/sis can't blame a problem on me, they just don't tell the

extended family about it. My NC doesn't help of course. It gives them a great

case to claim I abandoned the family. Oh well. I'm set up to have some truly

fantastic in-laws and a goddess for a wife. A girl really only needs one family,

I guess. Better to have a great one late than have none at all.

Jae

PS. Anyone remember the Pink Floyd song Mother from The Wall? I've listened to

it every Mother's Day since I was 10. It's like a ritual to help me get through

it. Even though I'm NC, I still do it. It's comforting, makes me feel like I'm

sending her a telepathic message containing all the things I always wanted to

say and feared the consequences of. Of course, I used to jump like rabbit if she

walked in on me with my headphones on, like she could hear my thought-letter

floating on the air or something. I must have looked SO guilty lol.

" mr.zarkley " wrote: How

many of you out there HATED mother's day during your childhood

(and beyond). It was one of nada's supreme excuses to really act out

like crazy. My sister's birthday is right around MD, so her BD was

always tainted big-time. MD still sends shivers.

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April 24, 2007