Guest guest Report post Posted August 18, 2001 That's a job someone is working for FREE! What's the story on and Bill? I take it Bill's older, but works for him at EAS? He is in the videos for sure! I love the scene (isn't that B and S?) when they are walking down the street barefooted in their underwear!!!! I've hit rewind on that quite a few times! And DOES have some FINE abs, doesn't he, mmm, mmm, mmm! Jeanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 18, 2001 That's a job someone is working for FREE! What's the story on and Bill? I take it Bill's older, but works for him at EAS? He is in the videos for sure! I love the scene (isn't that B and S?) when they are walking down the street barefooted in their underwear!!!! I've hit rewind on that quite a few times! And DOES have some FINE abs, doesn't he, mmm, mmm, mmm! Jeanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 18, 2001 That's a job someone is working for FREE! What's the story on and Bill? I take it Bill's older, but works for him at EAS? He is in the videos for sure! I love the scene (isn't that B and S?) when they are walking down the street barefooted in their underwear!!!! I've hit rewind on that quite a few times! And DOES have some FINE abs, doesn't he, mmm, mmm, mmm! Jeanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 24, 2001 Nope, this one has it as well. If you want to see it yourself, right click on your message in your message list (not the message display window). Select " properties " Then click the details tab, and then click on " message source " Expand that window and scroll down, and you'll see the code I pasted into my earlier message in all its glory. Re: OK- All is working! Sorry for farting around so much. , I don't think there's any viruses! _________________________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 24, 2001 Nope, this one has it as well. If you want to see it yourself, right click on your message in your message list (not the message display window). Select " properties " Then click the details tab, and then click on " message source " Expand that window and scroll down, and you'll see the code I pasted into my earlier message in all its glory. Re: OK- All is working! Sorry for farting around so much. , I don't think there's any viruses! _________________________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 24, 2001 Nope, this one has it as well. If you want to see it yourself, right click on your message in your message list (not the message display window). Select " properties " Then click the details tab, and then click on " message source " Expand that window and scroll down, and you'll see the code I pasted into my earlier message in all its glory. Re: OK- All is working! Sorry for farting around so much. , I don't think there's any viruses! _________________________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 31, 2001 Where do you get the music, Leigh? I can make it if I have the music, but I haven't been able to get what I want with Napster down. Thanks for the offer, but I have to hear music before I know what it is. I'm really bad with remembering titles. Not like the boneheads at the gym would let me put in my own CD anyway. -----Original Message-----From: Leigh Sent: Friday, August 31, 2001 7:22 AMTo: bodyforlife Subject: I can make you a CD. Let me know what you want, email me and I'll send it to ya:)leighfl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted September 10, 2001 Thanks Leanne Hannah has improved in the last week, with tonic clonic sz becoming fewer, and vomiting not as big a problem as I anticipated, after fiddling with her ketogenic diet. The worst thing right now is a very red raw behind, but we are working on it. Thinking about acidophilus down the gtube to try and get the infection from the inside instead of just treating the external symptoms. You are right.......spring is in the air and I am so encouraged by the milder weather. Makes a big difference to how I handle the day. So many flowers about now, and I am cheered every time I look out the window. Glad you were able to keep Isaac out of hospital with his chest, and the button is improving?!!!!!!!!!!! WOW, that is good news. Lets hope it continues that way. Wish I had a solution to the leaking though. All the obvious things must have been tried by now, so what's left to do? No more changes I hope. Just had 4 days at friends' beach house while Hannah was in respite care for a week. Mentally very refreshed, but give me a few days (hours?) and I'm sure I'll be needing another holiday! After the last couple of months Gavan and I and the other 2 kids really needed to unwind and enjoy each other, and much was achieved in 4 days to that effect. Its good to be back Cheers (Hannah's mum, Melbourne, Australia) > hi sorry things have been hard for a while ,but i feel spring in the air and happy time to come .Hope Hannah is feeling better soon .Isaac has yet another chest infection only a little and we have stayed out of hospital so far, the button is getting better we saw a stoma nurse and she was a big help his skin looks great (touch wood) now if we could just stop the milk pouring out i would be very happy > hope to talk more often i have been a bit slack of late Leanne mum to isaac now 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted September 10, 2001 Thanks Leanne Hannah has improved in the last week, with tonic clonic sz becoming fewer, and vomiting not as big a problem as I anticipated, after fiddling with her ketogenic diet. The worst thing right now is a very red raw behind, but we are working on it. Thinking about acidophilus down the gtube to try and get the infection from the inside instead of just treating the external symptoms. You are right.......spring is in the air and I am so encouraged by the milder weather. Makes a big difference to how I handle the day. So many flowers about now, and I am cheered every time I look out the window. Glad you were able to keep Isaac out of hospital with his chest, and the button is improving?!!!!!!!!!!! WOW, that is good news. Lets hope it continues that way. Wish I had a solution to the leaking though. All the obvious things must have been tried by now, so what's left to do? No more changes I hope. Just had 4 days at friends' beach house while Hannah was in respite care for a week. Mentally very refreshed, but give me a few days (hours?) and I'm sure I'll be needing another holiday! After the last couple of months Gavan and I and the other 2 kids really needed to unwind and enjoy each other, and much was achieved in 4 days to that effect. Its good to be back Cheers (Hannah's mum, Melbourne, Australia) > hi sorry things have been hard for a while ,but i feel spring in the air and happy time to come .Hope Hannah is feeling better soon .Isaac has yet another chest infection only a little and we have stayed out of hospital so far, the button is getting better we saw a stoma nurse and she was a big help his skin looks great (touch wood) now if we could just stop the milk pouring out i would be very happy > hope to talk more often i have been a bit slack of late Leanne mum to isaac now 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted September 10, 2001 Thanks Leanne Hannah has improved in the last week, with tonic clonic sz becoming fewer, and vomiting not as big a problem as I anticipated, after fiddling with her ketogenic diet. The worst thing right now is a very red raw behind, but we are working on it. Thinking about acidophilus down the gtube to try and get the infection from the inside instead of just treating the external symptoms. You are right.......spring is in the air and I am so encouraged by the milder weather. Makes a big difference to how I handle the day. So many flowers about now, and I am cheered every time I look out the window. Glad you were able to keep Isaac out of hospital with his chest, and the button is improving?!!!!!!!!!!! WOW, that is good news. Lets hope it continues that way. Wish I had a solution to the leaking though. All the obvious things must have been tried by now, so what's left to do? No more changes I hope. Just had 4 days at friends' beach house while Hannah was in respite care for a week. Mentally very refreshed, but give me a few days (hours?) and I'm sure I'll be needing another holiday! After the last couple of months Gavan and I and the other 2 kids really needed to unwind and enjoy each other, and much was achieved in 4 days to that effect. Its good to be back Cheers (Hannah's mum, Melbourne, Australia) > hi sorry things have been hard for a while ,but i feel spring in the air and happy time to come .Hope Hannah is feeling better soon .Isaac has yet another chest infection only a little and we have stayed out of hospital so far, the button is getting better we saw a stoma nurse and she was a big help his skin looks great (touch wood) now if we could just stop the milk pouring out i would be very happy > hope to talk more often i have been a bit slack of late Leanne mum to isaac now 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted September 15, 2001 Thanks for that great intro to Caroline. Our Hannah showed dev delays at about 3-4 months. Just little things like not focussing or tracking, not grasping things, not moving her body much except for little wobbly movements. She has diffuse bilateral PMG as it turns out, dx by MRI at 4 months, after 2 months of trying to find the cause of her uncontrollable seizures. Now at 4.5 yrs I regard Hannah as being about 2 months developmentally, but she has changed such a lot. Although she is totally dependent and mentally delayed, she responds well to contact with people and smiles wonderfully. She communicates her needs/moods by her different cries and sounds. At 12 months of age she was given the CP label as it described the way she had developed to that point. She is mostly low tone with periods of high tone in her limbs and trunk, and is regarded as having spastic quadriplegia. She jerks and wobbles about and does nothing with purpose except move her hands to her mouth, which is fantastic because she loves it and they sooth her and comfort her. > it appears as if we stumbled > onto the right person to review our daughter's situation. How sad that we have to grope about in the dark, so to speak, until we stumble upon the people we need to get us through this life. It seems to be a universal problem. I spent the first 12 months of Hannah's life bouncing about in the system finding what I needed and mostly by chance. Depends who you talk to quite often. > does not have control of her head or limbs, and makes only jerky-fidgety > motions (our radiologist friend saw this and showed concern about later > seizures). I'd be thinking about CP perhaps, as this is a movement disorder. Hope you find some definite answers soon, and look forward to hearing more about Caroline. - from Melbourne, Australia; mum to Hannah, (4yo; polymicrogyria, complex partial epilepsy, ketogenic diet since 6/00 which has reduced seizures, spastic quad.CP and orthopedic issues that go with it, non-mobile, cortical vision impairment, possible conductive hearing loss, swallowing and respiratory issues, non-verbal, global dev. delays, 100% gtube fed by Bard button and a brilliant smile) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted October 16, 2001 What can I say Leanne. This saga is never ending for you, you poor thing. Good idea about keeping a packed bag. Fortunately we only live about 1/2 hour away from the hospital, so Gavan can drop things off in emergency. Sure puts pressure on your whole family when things like this happen. I'm glad Isaac's pain has reduced but you must be up the wall about the button still leaking. I know a mum here in Melbourne who is having the same trouble with her son's button. Its gone on for months and nobody seems to be able to find a solution. They've tried all the obvious things, larger french size, bigger button, but to no avail. It seems like your little man is very active. I remember rejoicing when he began to cruise and walk and then climb, but I also remember wondering out loud what he'd be up to next. Mountain climbing seems to be the answer! Its great he is so capable, but I'm sure it makes life quite hard at times. Give him a big hug and a kiss from me and Hannah. (Hannah's mum, Melbourne) > hi there sorry it has taken so long to answer you but with school hols and all we have been busy as i'm sure you were ..Isaac spent the last week of school and the first week of hols in hospital because i couldn't stand the screaming and the pain he was in any more it was haunting me. We were in canberra for the afternoon and we were driving past the hospital so i got Rob to take us in so we could show Dr Simpson how bad the site was , he looked at me and said i'm addmiting him , we had no cloths i had two nappies poor rob had to go all the way home get the thing we needed and come back he wasn't happy .When i go to the hospital i always take a packed bag and we don't stay but just the time i don't have one we stay so from now i will keep a bag in the car to keep the evil hospital spirts away. > We are no further ahead than we were before they don't no what to do but the site is looking better and its not hurting at the moment but still leaking like ever. Mean while my house looks bad because we have to lay all the chairs on there sides and the coffee table is upside down to keep him off them . hope to here from you soon leanne mum to isaac Australia Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted October 16, 2001 What can I say Leanne. This saga is never ending for you, you poor thing. Good idea about keeping a packed bag. Fortunately we only live about 1/2 hour away from the hospital, so Gavan can drop things off in emergency. Sure puts pressure on your whole family when things like this happen. I'm glad Isaac's pain has reduced but you must be up the wall about the button still leaking. I know a mum here in Melbourne who is having the same trouble with her son's button. Its gone on for months and nobody seems to be able to find a solution. They've tried all the obvious things, larger french size, bigger button, but to no avail. It seems like your little man is very active. I remember rejoicing when he began to cruise and walk and then climb, but I also remember wondering out loud what he'd be up to next. Mountain climbing seems to be the answer! Its great he is so capable, but I'm sure it makes life quite hard at times. Give him a big hug and a kiss from me and Hannah. (Hannah's mum, Melbourne) > hi there sorry it has taken so long to answer you but with school hols and all we have been busy as i'm sure you were ..Isaac spent the last week of school and the first week of hols in hospital because i couldn't stand the screaming and the pain he was in any more it was haunting me. We were in canberra for the afternoon and we were driving past the hospital so i got Rob to take us in so we could show Dr Simpson how bad the site was , he looked at me and said i'm addmiting him , we had no cloths i had two nappies poor rob had to go all the way home get the thing we needed and come back he wasn't happy .When i go to the hospital i always take a packed bag and we don't stay but just the time i don't have one we stay so from now i will keep a bag in the car to keep the evil hospital spirts away. > We are no further ahead than we were before they don't no what to do but the site is looking better and its not hurting at the moment but still leaking like ever. Mean while my house looks bad because we have to lay all the chairs on there sides and the coffee table is upside down to keep him off them . hope to here from you soon leanne mum to isaac Australia Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 11, 2001 Glad to hear is doing better! Keep us updated. ;-) K. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 11, 2001 Glad to hear is doing better! Keep us updated. ;-) K. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 12, 2001 My nada does this. My sister had a baby. It was due right around the time nada was due to DRIVE to visit her mother. Nada refused to delay her visit even knowing my sister was in labor. She never saw the baby till it was a few months old. Hania Hi Sounds a lot like my nada. But can your nada beat this? - My nada's ultimate punishment of me is to ignore my daughter. She didn't even visit us in the maternity ward after the birth. In the nine years of my daughter's life, she has hardly ever seen her. Talk about cutting off your own nose... Take care Minja Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 12, 2001 My nada does this. My sister had a baby. It was due right around the time nada was due to DRIVE to visit her mother. Nada refused to delay her visit even knowing my sister was in labor. She never saw the baby till it was a few months old. Hania Hi Sounds a lot like my nada. But can your nada beat this? - My nada's ultimate punishment of me is to ignore my daughter. She didn't even visit us in the maternity ward after the birth. In the nine years of my daughter's life, she has hardly ever seen her. Talk about cutting off your own nose... Take care Minja Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 27, 2001 This is just MHO...telling nada you love her is one thing especially when it's genuine and heart felt...my only concern in telling her that you have forgiven her is that this implies that there is something she did that was wrong and needs forgiving...given the uncertainty how any borderline might react to implied wrongdoing is the question...you know your mom and what her reaction to this might be...your concern about rekindling old behaviors is likely valid but only you can decide what YOU need...I am touched by your capacitiy to love and forgive...your mom might not ever be able to appreciate those qualities but those of us on the list certainly can and do...hugs, Re: > Hi ! > > Thanks for sharing such a heart wrenching story. You did the right > thing. Sometimes it takes a very very long time to heal, but keep the > faith. > > I'm especially interested in your story, because I've been estranged > from nada for 2 1/2 years now, and at the age of 79, she isn't going to > live forever, especially after a non-debilitating stroke 4 years ago. I > wonder (and worry?) sometimes how I'll feel after she's gone. Today > there's hope she'll have a change of heart, however remote. When she's > gone, all hope will be gone forever. I want to brace for the > inevitable, and it helps to hear from someone who's been there, and is > surviving. Thanks, . > > I wonder if I should write and tell her I love her and that I've > forgiven her. I still do love her very deeply, and I truly have > forgiven her, because she doesn't know what she does (because of BPD). > If telling her those words would allow her to leave this world with a > little peace, I'd do it. However, I do not want to get involved again, > not if it's going to rekindle all of her accusatory vendettas, such as > fraud and forgery. It's just not worth the risk. I've done all I can > to help her over the years. She's alcoholic and mentally ill, she > refuses to acknowledge either, and I've finally extracted myself from > the complicated web she wove. But I still want to fix the unfixable. > Sigh! The cycle of doubt still churns, sometimes. I will turn it off. > Again. Thanks for listening. > > Best wishes, > Carol > > > Lutman wrote: > > > Kathleen, > > My mother died 6 months ago. I had not seen or spoken > > to her for 3 years because of a lifetime of her abuse > > and no signs of change. She had lung cancer. I do feel > > guilty for not seeing her although she was dying. > > Honestly I didnt even believe when I heard she had > > cancer because throughout our lives she claimed to > > have all sorts of terminal illnesses. > > The point is that what she left us was a note about > > how sorry SHE is that WE couldnt forgive HER!! I guess > > even in the face oif death that was not enough to > > chnge her. From what I heard she played all of her > > games with her family right up until the end. Every > > time I get sad and start to cry I try to catch myself > > and remember the reasons I made the decisions I did. I > > had good reason. It doesnt take much to remember. I am > > very sorry about your sister. > > > > > > To get off the list, send a blank message to > ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to > ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for > non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table > of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 27, 2001 Thanks, . See my comments added to yours below. wrote: > This is just MHO...telling nada you love her is one thing > especially when it's genuine and heart felt... Yes, I agree > my only concern in telling her that you have forgiven her is > that this implies that there is something she did that was > wrong and needs forgiving...given the uncertainty how any > borderline might react to implied wrongdoing is the question... You're absolutely right > you know your mom and what her reaction to this might be... She probably wouldn't take too kindly to being forgiven for stuff she doesn't think she did. > your concern about rekindling old behaviors is likely valid but > only you can decide what YOU need... Here's my strong self talking now................. It's possible she's had a change of heart, and if she has, she knows where I am, and she knows how to reach me. It's all up to her now. If she doesn't reach out before she dies, and it's highly unlikely that she will, then I'll have to cross that bridge when it comes. I hope to learn from 's experience, and anyone else out there who's had to deal with a similar situation. > I am touched by your capacitiy to love and forgive... I give all the credit to a higher power than myself, . > your mom might not ever be able to appreciate those qualities > but those of us on the list certainly can and do... Thanks so much, . Thanks so much, everyone. You all are the greatest! Best wishes, Carol > " Carol M " wrote: Hi ! Thanks for sharing such a heart wrenching story. You did the right thing. Sometimes it takes a very very long time to heal, but keep the faith. I'm especially interested in your story, because I've been estranged from nada for 2 1/2 years now, and at the age of 79, she isn't going to live forever, especially after a non-debilitating stroke 4 years ago. I wonder (and worry?) sometimes how I'll feel after she's gone. Today there's hope she'll have a change of heart, however remote. When she's gone, all hope will be gone forever. I want to brace for the inevitable, and it helps to hear from someone who's been there, and is surviving. Thanks, . I wonder if I should write and tell her I love her and that I've forgiven her. I still do love her very deeply, and I truly have forgiven her, because she doesn't know what she does (because of BPD). If telling her those words would allow her to leave this world with a little peace, I'd do it. However, I do not want to get involved again, not if it's going to rekindle all of her accusatory vendettas, such as fraud and forgery. It's just not worth the risk. I've done all I can to help her over the years. She's alcoholic and mentally ill, she refuses to acknowledge either, and I've finally extracted myself from the complicated web she wove. But I still want to fix the unfixable. Sigh! The cycle of doubt still churns, sometimes. I will turn it off. Again. Thanks for listening. > > Lutman wrote: > > > > > Kathleen, > > > My mother died 6 months ago. I had not seen or spoken > > > to her for 3 years because of a lifetime of her abuse > > > and no signs of change. She had lung cancer. I do feel > > > guilty for not seeing her although she was dying. > > > Honestly I didnt even believe when I heard she had > > > cancer because throughout our lives she claimed to > > > have all sorts of terminal illnesses. > > > The point is that what she left us was a note about > > > how sorry SHE is that WE couldnt forgive HER!! I guess > > > even in the face oif death that was not enough to > > > chnge her. From what I heard she played all of her > > > games with her family right up until the end. Every > > > time I get sad and start to cry I try to catch myself > > > and remember the reasons I made the decisions I did. I > > > had good reason. It doesnt take much to remember. I am > > > very sorry about your sister. > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 27, 2001 Thanks, . See my comments added to yours below. wrote: > This is just MHO...telling nada you love her is one thing > especially when it's genuine and heart felt... Yes, I agree > my only concern in telling her that you have forgiven her is > that this implies that there is something she did that was > wrong and needs forgiving...given the uncertainty how any > borderline might react to implied wrongdoing is the question... You're absolutely right > you know your mom and what her reaction to this might be... She probably wouldn't take too kindly to being forgiven for stuff she doesn't think she did. > your concern about rekindling old behaviors is likely valid but > only you can decide what YOU need... Here's my strong self talking now................. It's possible she's had a change of heart, and if she has, she knows where I am, and she knows how to reach me. It's all up to her now. If she doesn't reach out before she dies, and it's highly unlikely that she will, then I'll have to cross that bridge when it comes. I hope to learn from 's experience, and anyone else out there who's had to deal with a similar situation. > I am touched by your capacitiy to love and forgive... I give all the credit to a higher power than myself, . > your mom might not ever be able to appreciate those qualities > but those of us on the list certainly can and do... Thanks so much, . Thanks so much, everyone. You all are the greatest! Best wishes, Carol > " Carol M " wrote: Hi ! Thanks for sharing such a heart wrenching story. You did the right thing. Sometimes it takes a very very long time to heal, but keep the faith. I'm especially interested in your story, because I've been estranged from nada for 2 1/2 years now, and at the age of 79, she isn't going to live forever, especially after a non-debilitating stroke 4 years ago. I wonder (and worry?) sometimes how I'll feel after she's gone. Today there's hope she'll have a change of heart, however remote. When she's gone, all hope will be gone forever. I want to brace for the inevitable, and it helps to hear from someone who's been there, and is surviving. Thanks, . I wonder if I should write and tell her I love her and that I've forgiven her. I still do love her very deeply, and I truly have forgiven her, because she doesn't know what she does (because of BPD). If telling her those words would allow her to leave this world with a little peace, I'd do it. However, I do not want to get involved again, not if it's going to rekindle all of her accusatory vendettas, such as fraud and forgery. It's just not worth the risk. I've done all I can to help her over the years. She's alcoholic and mentally ill, she refuses to acknowledge either, and I've finally extracted myself from the complicated web she wove. But I still want to fix the unfixable. Sigh! The cycle of doubt still churns, sometimes. I will turn it off. Again. Thanks for listening. > > Lutman wrote: > > > > > Kathleen, > > > My mother died 6 months ago. I had not seen or spoken > > > to her for 3 years because of a lifetime of her abuse > > > and no signs of change. She had lung cancer. I do feel > > > guilty for not seeing her although she was dying. > > > Honestly I didnt even believe when I heard she had > > > cancer because throughout our lives she claimed to > > > have all sorts of terminal illnesses. > > > The point is that what she left us was a note about > > > how sorry SHE is that WE couldnt forgive HER!! I guess > > > even in the face oif death that was not enough to > > > chnge her. From what I heard she played all of her > > > games with her family right up until the end. Every > > > time I get sad and start to cry I try to catch myself > > > and remember the reasons I made the decisions I did. I > > > had good reason. It doesnt take much to remember. I am > > > very sorry about your sister. > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 27, 2001 Thanks, . See my comments added to yours below. wrote: > This is just MHO...telling nada you love her is one thing > especially when it's genuine and heart felt... Yes, I agree > my only concern in telling her that you have forgiven her is > that this implies that there is something she did that was > wrong and needs forgiving...given the uncertainty how any > borderline might react to implied wrongdoing is the question... You're absolutely right > you know your mom and what her reaction to this might be... She probably wouldn't take too kindly to being forgiven for stuff she doesn't think she did. > your concern about rekindling old behaviors is likely valid but > only you can decide what YOU need... Here's my strong self talking now................. It's possible she's had a change of heart, and if she has, she knows where I am, and she knows how to reach me. It's all up to her now. If she doesn't reach out before she dies, and it's highly unlikely that she will, then I'll have to cross that bridge when it comes. I hope to learn from 's experience, and anyone else out there who's had to deal with a similar situation. > I am touched by your capacitiy to love and forgive... I give all the credit to a higher power than myself, . > your mom might not ever be able to appreciate those qualities > but those of us on the list certainly can and do... Thanks so much, . Thanks so much, everyone. You all are the greatest! Best wishes, Carol > " Carol M " wrote: Hi ! Thanks for sharing such a heart wrenching story. You did the right thing. Sometimes it takes a very very long time to heal, but keep the faith. I'm especially interested in your story, because I've been estranged from nada for 2 1/2 years now, and at the age of 79, she isn't going to live forever, especially after a non-debilitating stroke 4 years ago. I wonder (and worry?) sometimes how I'll feel after she's gone. Today there's hope she'll have a change of heart, however remote. When she's gone, all hope will be gone forever. I want to brace for the inevitable, and it helps to hear from someone who's been there, and is surviving. Thanks, . I wonder if I should write and tell her I love her and that I've forgiven her. I still do love her very deeply, and I truly have forgiven her, because she doesn't know what she does (because of BPD). If telling her those words would allow her to leave this world with a little peace, I'd do it. However, I do not want to get involved again, not if it's going to rekindle all of her accusatory vendettas, such as fraud and forgery. It's just not worth the risk. I've done all I can to help her over the years. She's alcoholic and mentally ill, she refuses to acknowledge either, and I've finally extracted myself from the complicated web she wove. But I still want to fix the unfixable. Sigh! The cycle of doubt still churns, sometimes. I will turn it off. Again. Thanks for listening. > > Lutman wrote: > > > > > Kathleen, > > > My mother died 6 months ago. I had not seen or spoken > > > to her for 3 years because of a lifetime of her abuse > > > and no signs of change. She had lung cancer. I do feel > > > guilty for not seeing her although she was dying. > > > Honestly I didnt even believe when I heard she had > > > cancer because throughout our lives she claimed to > > > have all sorts of terminal illnesses. > > > The point is that what she left us was a note about > > > how sorry SHE is that WE couldnt forgive HER!! I guess > > > even in the face oif death that was not enough to > > > chnge her. From what I heard she played all of her > > > games with her family right up until the end. Every > > > time I get sad and start to cry I try to catch myself > > > and remember the reasons I made the decisions I did. I > > > had good reason. It doesnt take much to remember. I am > > > very sorry about your sister. > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 30, 2001 Thanks for the information, Phyllis. Give her a big hug from me. Schott Houston, Texas --- Phyllis wrote: > Hi , > My daughter who is 5, has pmg all over her > brain. We do not > know what caused it. We have been to the geneticist > where we got her > diagnosis. I think that the microcephaly just came > along with the pmg. > For us it is not really important what caused s > pmg, We knew that > she was going to be our last child. (we have 5 > others, and none of the > others have any disabilities(well, except the > teenagers.) is > non-verbal and does not walk, or even sit up on her > own. She is very > aware of what is going on around her she is very > socal. She is a very > smart little girl in a body that does not work. > Sometimes I get sad > about the things that she does not get to do. But > that is me being sad > and not . And I would not trade her for > another child, She brings > so much joy into our home, She has a beautiful > spirit, and just gives > love so freely. > Phyllis > __________________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 30, 2001 Thanks for the information, Phyllis. Give her a big hug from me. Schott Houston, Texas --- Phyllis wrote: > Hi , > My daughter who is 5, has pmg all over her > brain. We do not > know what caused it. We have been to the geneticist > where we got her > diagnosis. I think that the microcephaly just came > along with the pmg. > For us it is not really important what caused s > pmg, We knew that > she was going to be our last child. (we have 5 > others, and none of the > others have any disabilities(well, except the > teenagers.) is > non-verbal and does not walk, or even sit up on her > own. She is very > aware of what is going on around her she is very > socal. She is a very > smart little girl in a body that does not work. > Sometimes I get sad > about the things that she does not get to do. But > that is me being sad > and not . And I would not trade her for > another child, She brings > so much joy into our home, She has a beautiful > spirit, and just gives > love so freely. > Phyllis > __________________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted December 12, 2001 Hi , I am in Germany now. We havent really been anywhere yet but let me know what you are looking for and I'll keep my eyes open. > Does it actually have to be authentic? I don't have > alot of stuff from > my childhood especially pictures, but when clients, > friends, coworkers, > travel to Germany, ===== K. Lutman Mannheim, Germany Mom to Brennan 10/3/99 http://www.growthspurts.com/view.asp?s=6344 __________________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted December 12, 2001 Hi , I am in Germany now. We havent really been anywhere yet but let me know what you are looking for and I'll keep my eyes open. > Does it actually have to be authentic? I don't have > alot of stuff from > my childhood especially pictures, but when clients, > friends, coworkers, > travel to Germany, ===== K. Lutman Mannheim, Germany Mom to Brennan 10/3/99 http://www.growthspurts.com/view.asp?s=6344 __________________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites