Re: OT: Autism: The Musical

[Guest guest]

I liked it the other way, the irony! We should all drive around with

this bumper sticker, " If you want a kid like mine, Demand a Vaccine

With Mercury!! "

> >>> >

> >>> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer

> >>> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might

> >>> > have a child with autism...

> >>> >

> >>> >

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'm roaring... " I love Daddy Best....classic

>

> If you frantically, but quietly, rush through the house shutting

> doors and windows at the sound of a siren....

>

> If you buy underwear in the jumbo/economy amounts, because some

> messes are beyond any detergent....

>

> If you can recite the next line of dialog from any Disney movie

with

> just a 2 word intro....

>

> If you know there is only one way to put on shoes, one way to climb

> into bed and to only step on the gray tiles when walking down the

> hall....

>

> If you're thrilled to hear, " I love Daddy best " (because you

realize

> the level of thought process needed for that statement)....

>

[Guest guest]

-No, I think the skidmarks are just applicable to all the men that we

know. I know my husband would be on the spectrum if he received the

same amount of jabs my kids got.

-- In EOHarm , " tmiktliu " <rtoni@...> wrote:

>

> why is it when I see the word " skidmark " I seem to recall some prior

> reference to Fombonne...? <g>

>

>

> >

> > No, that is applicable to all men I think.

> >

> >

> >

> > _____

> >

> > From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On

> Behalf Of

> > andrea52521991

> >

> >

> > If every pair of underwear your kid owns has stains from

skidmarks

> > becuase he doesn't wipe very good or even at all for that

> > matter..then you might have a child with autism.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

LOL--- you’re good at making lemonaid out of lemons

I was distracted when I wrote it because my friend said the other day,

“is your car the one with the –ask for vaccines without mercury- sticker?”

I said “No- it says DEMAND vaccines without mercury. I’m not that nice.”

On 3/29/07 5:58 PM, " foxhairdo38 " <wendtworth68@...> wrote:

I liked it the other way, the irony! We should all drive around with

this bumper sticker, " If you want a kid like mine, Demand a Vaccine

With Mercury!! "

> >>> >

> >>> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer

> >>> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might

> >>> > have a child with autism...

> >>> >

> >>> >

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

When you don’t have one CD or DVD

without bite marks or large scratches in them…..you might have a child

with Autism

When you hear pouring rain inside you

house from an upstairs flooding toilet…….you might have a child

with Autism.

When your 1 year old furniture looks like

it’s a hopeless antique……..you might have a child with

Autism.

When every electronic device in the house

has to be replaced bi monthly…….you might have a child with Autism.

When Trick or Treating causes chronic

knocking on the neighbor’s doors…….you might have a child

with Autism.

When “child proof” locks are

completely useless……you might have a child with Autism.

When you have to find no VOC primer and

paint to redo every wall of your house previously covered in crayon, pen and

sharpie marker…..you might have a child with Autism.    

When you wake up every hour of the night

for 6 years to check on your children even on the nights they sleep through……you

might have a child with Autism.

When you are an expert in shit; color,

content, consistency…….you might have a child with Autism.

From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of andrea52521991

Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2007

5:56 PM

EOHarm

Subject: Re: OT: Autism:

The Musical

When you kid eats $1.47 in change and you don't know

about it until

they come out in the toilet....you might have a child with autism.

When you kids eats 62 marbles..you might have a kid with autism.

When your kid eats the magnetix marbles and hides the box from you so

you want take his stash....you might have a child with autism.

When your kid eats dirt, rocks, mulch, grass but refuses cake, ice

cream, candy and cookies...you might have a child with autism.

When they know you on a first name basis in the lab and or x-ray dept

at you local hospital...you might have a shild with autism.

When you kid gets out of the house and is swinging on the swings in

the back yard at 3 am...you might have a child with autism.

When you move into a new neighborhood and you kid walks into the new

neighbors house while they are at the table eating dinner, and heads

right upstairs to the bathroom and takes a dump..you might have a kid

with autism.

> >> >

> >> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer

> >> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might

> >> > have a child with autism...

> >> >

> >> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I’ll add this one for my girlfriend

–

when you catch your kid doing shots of

corn syrup on the floor of your closet to get high……

From:

EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of andrea52521991

Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2007

5:56 PM

EOHarm

Subject: Re: OT: Autism:

The Musical

When you kid eats $1.47 in change and you don't know

about it until

they come out in the toilet....you might have a child with autism.

When you kids eats 62 marbles..you might have a kid with autism.

When your kid eats the magnetix marbles and hides the box from you so

you want take his stash....you might have a child with autism.

When your kid eats dirt, rocks, mulch, grass but refuses cake, ice

cream, candy and cookies...you might have a child with autism.

When they know you on a first name basis in the lab and or x-ray dept

at you local hospital...you might have a shild with autism.

When you kid gets out of the house and is swinging on the swings in

the back yard at 3 am...you might have a child with autism.

When you move into a new neighborhood and you kid walks into the new

neighbors house while they are at the table eating dinner, and heads

right upstairs to the bathroom and takes a dump..you might have a kid

with autism.

> >> >

> >> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer

> >> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might

> >> > have a child with autism...

> >> >

> >> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

> If you can recite the next line of dialog from any Disney movie with

> just a 2 word intro....

" Awake!

little boy made of pine

the gift of life is thine. "

[Guest guest]

" The sea monkey has my money "

--- schaferatsprynet <schafer@...> wrote:

>

> > If you can recite the next line of dialog from any

> Disney movie with

> > just a 2 word intro....

>

> " Awake!

> little boy made of pine

> the gift of life is thine. "

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Food fight? Enjoy some healthy debate

in the Answers Food & Drink Q & A.

http://answers./dir/?link=list & sid=396545367

[Guest guest]

You guys are killing me.

I really needed a laugh this evening, so thank you. Here goes.

If your child would rather have an empty plastic bottle more

than anything else in this world…….

If your child digs through the trash like a junkie looking

for a day old hamburger bun……

If you discuss bowel movements

as casually as the weather – at the dinner table - size, color,

frequency, consistency………

If your child’s mattress lies on the floor instead of on

a bed frame…….

If you buy a 25 lb box of dairy substitute on the internet…….

If you don’t buy bread because you’re afraid the

little junkie will discover it and tear through the whole loaf……

You have to watch your child to make sure he doesn’t

lick the Purell off his hands……

Next……….

Pamela

" Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.

There can be no courage unless you're scared. "

Eddie Rickenbacker, top US fighter ace, WWI

[Guest guest]

Yup, we're all poop experts.

> > >> >

> > >> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer

> > >> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might

> > >> > have a child with autism...

> > >> >

> > >> >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

If every toilet in your house is not

operating along with lots of toilet paper on your bathroom floors ( and will

only use sheets that are perfectly square and not torn)….

If you walk on a sandy feeling kitchen

floor every day because those damn salt and pepper shakers must be filled to

the very, very top….

If your cat and dog run faster than lightning

when your child approaches……

If the indication to your child that the

glass is full is only when the drink is dripping on his feet and all over the

floor….

If you are still looking for all elastic

pants and no tie shoes in the men’s department…..

If you find yourself answering the same

question for the 100th time during the last hour…

If you bought every “safety gadget”

in ToysRus & hardware store then find yourself writing letters to the

company with new ideas for other safety gadgets...

You just might have a child with autism.

Next….

From:

EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of foxhairdo38

Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2007

4:41 PM

EOHarm

Subject: Re: OT: Autism:

The Musical

If you have a five year old who eats your furniture,

you might have a

child with autism.

> >

> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer

> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might

> > have a child with autism...

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

If

your child strips down as soon as he is home, even when it is 20 below outside

and mom is cold with a sweater on….

If your 7 year old sticks his face squarely

in your armpit on a regular basis, and considers it a pleasant, calming experience….

If you constantly remind that you have to

use more than 2 squares of toilet paper to wipe your bottom and they cannot be

wadded up in a ball the size of a marble…

If you give your child a hug as he walks

by you, and you smell poop, then realize he has wiped his poopy fingers all

over his (bare) body…

If when Nana comes to visit, and she asks

for a hug, your child approaches and then turns and backs into her…

If it is getting hard to find a big enough

bike that has training wheels….

If at Disney World, you must avoid the

castle at all costs, because approaching it, as well as any character will

cause your child to scream and shake in fear and climb daddy like a tree to try

to get on top of his head….but has no fear of riding Space Mountain several times in a row…

You might have a child with autism.

A note here: my seven year old has done

all these in the last year and reading this sounds pretty ASD still, but he

also has lots of really good friends, has lots of sleepovers, will talk your

ear off, goes to a typical school without needing any special services, goes to

swim lessons, summer day camp, etc. with typical kids without mom or an aid,

and will now go into a small convenience store by himself (I wait in the car)

and make a purchase of a special treat like a pack of gum. Go Noah!!!!

Becky

[Guest guest]

Great additions Becky and glad to hear Noah is doing so well.

On 3/29/07 8:36 PM, " Becky Grant-Widen " <bgrantwiden@...> wrote:

If your child strips down as soon as he is home, even when it is 20 below outside and mom is cold with a sweater on….

If your 7 year old sticks his face squarely in your armpit on a regular basis, and considers it a pleasant, calming experience….

If you constantly remind that you have to use more than 2 squares of toilet paper to wipe your bottom and they cannot be wadded up in a ball the size of a marble…

If you give your child a hug as he walks by you, and you smell poop, then realize he has wiped his poopy fingers all over his (bare) body…

If when Nana comes to visit, and she asks for a hug, your child approaches and then turns and backs into her…

If it is getting hard to find a big enough bike that has training wheels….

If at Disney World, you must avoid the castle at all costs, because approaching it, as well as any character will cause your child to scream and shake in fear and climb daddy like a tree to try to get on top of his head….but has no fear of riding Space Mountain several times in a row…

You might have a child with autism.

A note here: my seven year old has done all these in the last year and reading this sounds pretty ASD still, but he also has lots of really good friends, has lots of sleepovers, will talk your ear off, goes to a typical school without needing any special services, goes to swim lessons, summer day camp, etc. with typical kids without mom or an aid, and will now go into a small convenience store by himself (I wait in the car) and make a purchase of a special treat like a pack of gum. Go Noah!!!!

Becky

[Guest guest]

ummm...

ok...

I hear what you are saying... but your tone is frustrating.

See, what we are doing here tonight, is popping off some " funnies " to deal with the situation.

If you think that living with an autistic child 24/7 is really the same as an NT child, you stand a good chance of not being correct. Every child is different, yes, but from your description, you are coming into something difficult and I hope you do not ever say to his father. " Eh get over it "

We do love them more, everytime I have to deal with one of these " autistic " moments, I love him more. But do not think you can come here and minimize what OTHER people are dealing with.

Good luck to you.

W.

On 3/29/07, fireonice777@... <fireonice777@...> wrote:

I dunno. I raised three NT boys as a single mom and there wasnt a day that these things didnt occur. On top of wrecking furniture, walls, leather interior of car, eating jacks, putting cheerios up each others noses, legos in the vcr, they had " male domination issues " or so my 8 year old told me... I was living 'Please Dont Eat the Daisies' and learned to laugh as well as cry. Now I am marrying a man and adopting his severely autistic ten year old son as my own. He is amazed that I can stomach the peculiarities of this darling handful in pull-ups, OC terror with food and paper, head-banging, stimming. It's easy I tell him, " HE IS A BOY " . Boys are naturally difficult and contrary, its a healthy part of them.No one said it was going to be easy. My advice: Get over it and Love them More!!!!

**************************************See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Well said , Just what to add something ! BECAUSE of advices like this : " He is a Boy ", " Boys are like this " "Get over it "" Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Thousands of children w/t delays ,PDD ,Autism are not diagnosed early and their Parents was confuse of what to believe . IMO early diagnose and early intervention is the biggest peace of the puzzle. But just b/c those ignorant advices, there are thousands of children stolen by deep ,painful .....don't even have word to describe "Autism" and they may never come back !!. To the lady that adopting this 10 y.o. child , PLEASE , for the sake of this child Help him .He is in great pain and none of those behaviors are present b/c he is a Boy it is b/c he is in pain ,real pain - "

Autism" --- Heavy metal poisoning ,GUT inflammation ,Brain inflammation ....... etc. For the record : Autism Mom's love is greater !!! Webster <jwebs94@...> wrote: ummm... ok... I hear what you are saying... but your tone is frustrating. See, what we are doing here tonight, is popping off some "funnies" to deal with the situation. If you think that living with

an autistic child 24/7 is really the same as an NT child, you stand a good chance of not being correct. Every child is different, yes, but from your description, you are coming into something difficult and I hope you do not ever say to his father. "Eh get over it" We do love them more, everytime I have to deal with one of these "autistic" moments, I love him more. But do not think you can come here and minimize what OTHER people are dealing with. Good luck to you. W. On 3/29/07, fireonice777aol <fireonice777aol> wrote: I dunno. I raised three NT boys as a single mom and there wasnt a day that these things didnt occur. On top of wrecking furniture, walls, leather interior of car, eating jacks, putting cheerios up each others noses, legos in the vcr, they had "male domination issues" or so my 8 year old told me... I was living 'Please Dont Eat the Daisies' and learned to laugh as well as cry. Now I am marrying a man and adopting his severely autistic ten year old son as my own. He is amazed that I can stomach the peculiarities of this darling handful in pull-ups, OC terror with food and paper, head-banging, stimming. It's easy I tell him, "HE IS A BOY". Boys are naturally difficult and contrary, its a healthy part of them.No one said it was going to be easy. My advice: Get over it and Love them

More!!!!**************************************See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Nora Bunis -Stuart

The fish are biting.

Get more visitors on your site using Search Marketing.

[Guest guest]

Yeah Noah!!!

Great news Becky- thanks for the update.

>

> If your child strips down as soon as he is home, even when it is 20

> below outside and mom is cold with a sweater on..

>

>

>

> If your 7 year old sticks his face squarely in your armpit on a

regular

> basis, and considers it a pleasant, calming experience..

>

>

>

> If you constantly remind that you have to use more than 2 squares of

> toilet paper to wipe your bottom and they cannot be wadded up in a

ball

> the size of a marble.

>

>

>

> If you give your child a hug as he walks by you, and you smell poop,

> then realize he has wiped his poopy fingers all over his (bare)

body.

>

>

>

> If when Nana comes to visit, and she asks for a hug, your child

> approaches and then turns and backs into her.

>

>

>

> If it is getting hard to find a big enough bike that has training

> wheels..

>

>

>

> If at Disney World, you must avoid the castle at all costs, because

> approaching it, as well as any character will cause your child to

scream

> and shake in fear and climb daddy like a tree to try to get on top

of

> his head..but has no fear of riding Space Mountain several times in

a

> row.

>

>

>

> You might have a child with autism.

>

>

>

> A note here: my seven year old has done all these in the last year

and

> reading this sounds pretty ASD still, but he also has lots of really

> good friends, has lots of sleepovers, will talk your ear off, goes

to a

> typical school without needing any special services, goes to swim

> lessons, summer day camp, etc. with typical kids without mom or an

aid,

> and will now go into a small convenience store by himself (I wait

in the

> car) and make a purchase of a special treat like a pack of gum. Go

> Noah!!!!

>

>

>

> Becky

>

[Guest guest]

If you can tell " the Wiggles " is done by the sound of your child's

high-pitched squealing as it assaults your eardrums from across the

house while you're trying to fold laundry, even though he seemingly

ignored the whole episode while stimming to the sleeping dog under the

coffee table...

If this is the 35th time today that you've relived the above scenario...

If he won't eat anything that's green...

If tomorrow, he won't eat anything that's brown...

If once a year your go through weeks of your child trying to pull his

short sleeves down to his wrists and short pant legs down to his knees

only to spend several weeks 6 months later having your child try to

roll up his long sleeves and pant legs now that he's finally adjusted

to t-shirts and shorts...

If getting his hair combed could qualify for a WWF Wrestling Match...

If stepping foot into a Hair Cuttery (or Great Clips or Fantastic

Sams) sends him into fits of panic as if you were leading him to

slaughter...

If you walk into his room and every block, toy car, and Lego is lined

up across his room with such precision that the US military would be

jealous...

If he shows artistic genius to rival that of Van Gogh at the age of 3

but you can't get him to stop getting p% & ^ed off and throwing the

crayons (and everything else within his reach) to the floor when the

last circle he drew wasn't perfectly round...

....you might have a child with autism.

[Guest guest]

If you can tell " the Wiggles " is done by the sound of your child's

high-pitched squealing as it assaults your eardrums from across the

house while you're trying to fold laundry, even though he seemingly

ignored the whole episode while stimming to the sleeping dog under the

coffee table...

If this is the 35th time today that you've relived the above scenario...

If he won't eat anything that's green...

If tomorrow, he won't eat anything that's brown...

If once a year your go through weeks of your child trying to pull his

short sleeves down to his wrists and short pant legs down to his knees

only to spend several weeks 6 months later having your child try to

roll up his long sleeves and pant legs now that he's finally adjusted

to t-shirts and shorts...

If getting his hair combed could qualify for a WWF Wrestling Match...

If stepping foot into a Hair Cuttery (or Great Clips or Fantastic

Sams) sends him into fits of panic as if you were leading him to

slaughter...

If you walk into his room and every block, toy car, and Lego is lined

up across his room with such precision that the US military would be

jealous...

If he shows artistic genius to rival that of Van Gogh at the age of 3

but you can't get him to stop getting p% & ^ed off and throwing the

crayons (and everything else within his reach) to the floor when the

last circle he drew wasn't perfectly round...

....you might have a child with autism.

[Guest guest]

If you chant the following chants several times a day:

" What goes in you mouth??? FOOD!!!, is a (fill in he blank) food?? NO!!!, should it be in your mouth??? NO!!

If you ever had to run up to the ball pit where your 10 year old was playing to whisper loudly and firmly, " PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON RIGHT NOW "

If you haven't slept all night in you own bed since you can't remember...

if you have to use the handicap bathroom stall b/c its you, your 10 y/o and your 2 y/o coming with you...

if you have a college degree but are unemployed b/c you don't have time to work AND even though you're not working you can't fit anyone into your schedule b/c its tighter than the presidents....

if your 2 y/o has ever had to remind you to put your 10 y/o's seat belt on....

[Guest guest]

If you chant the following chants several times a day:

" What goes in you mouth??? FOOD!!!, is a (fill in he blank) food?? NO!!!, should it be in your mouth??? NO!!

If you ever had to run up to the ball pit where your 10 year old was playing to whisper loudly and firmly, " PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON RIGHT NOW "

If you haven't slept all night in you own bed since you can't remember...

if you have to use the handicap bathroom stall b/c its you, your 10 y/o and your 2 y/o coming with you...

if you have a college degree but are unemployed b/c you don't have time to work AND even though you're not working you can't fit anyone into your schedule b/c its tighter than the presidents....

if your 2 y/o has ever had to remind you to put your 10 y/o's seat belt on....

[Guest guest]

LOL some of those really hit home, LMAO!

I just spent all winter trying to get Gavin to wear sweats --he refused and wore shorts and T's around the house all winter...

the first day it hits 70 he refused to put shorts on and went around in sweats!

On 3/29/07, Ferman <mferman@...> wrote:

..

[Guest guest]

Rather,

If once a year you go through weeks of your child trying to pull his

short sleeves down to his wrists and short pant legs down to his

ankles only to spend several weeks 6 months later having your child

try to roll up his long sleeves and pant legs now that he's finally

adjusted to t-shirts and shorts...

[Guest guest]

If you come into the living room and

realize your 3 year old has actually MOVED the furniture because it was

breaking up his long line of legos or cars….

If you have invested in a professional

plumber’s snake……..

If your keychain makes you look like a

locksmith, you can tell which is which by the feel and they never leave your

body……

When you start repeating today’s

stim phrases without realizing it……

When you no longer hear the Revenge of

the Sith music playing for the last 7 hours…..

When you can recognize and name every thomas

the tank engine and all of his frickin friends from 15 feet away and actually

correct someone when they get one wrong…

When you know to save everything you are

working on on your computer BEFORE you lift one butt cheek because you know it

will be closed the second you turn around….

When you no longer expect privacy in the

bathroom and wonder where the hell he is when you have it……

When you can multitask yelling “stop

licking the tv”, open the door for the UPS guy who is delivering your

$300 worth of new compounded meds, talk on the phone to some insurance company

idiot who is denying your claims, again, and wipe peanut butter off the

staircase railing at the same time and haven’t had coffee yet……

When you drink to a friend’s 10

year old having her first poop on the potty…..

When it’s easier to just sell your

house and move than it is to keep painting and cleaning poop off the walls….

When you have to explain what those

stains are on the walls and carpets to the realtor and you forget not everyone

has furniture bolted to the walls until you see the look on his face…..

When the feeling in two of your

fingertips goes away when it’s cold because your kid bit the living piss

out of them when you were teaching him to swallow pills 7 years ago…..

When you spend your summer vacation

learning the peptide synthesis cycle….

You know the fax number and health aide’s

name and birthday for all your congressmen & senators…..

You have started a collection and filled more

than 15 binders with “procedural safeguards” from school meetings……

When your 6yo son can tell you every

single financing detail on getting a new Chevy during Truck month – “2.9%

APR financing for approved buyers”…..

When your son sees a car fire on the drive

home one day and the next day screams bloody murder for another car fire the

next day, and every day for the next week, because it was sparkly……

When you know ketchup goes on ALL

potatoes, including mashed, because it’s a potato after all…..

Next…

[Guest guest]

Oh my gosh...I am laughing so hard from all of these posts, boy do

they hit home. Thanks for all of them, I really needed to laugh like

this.

If you are downstairs in the living room and happen to notice water

coming through the ceiling from the upstairs bathroom because it's

packed with a whole roll of toilet paper, a Sonicare toothbrush and

tons of legos, you might have a kid with autism.

If you have to give your kid 5 emergency baths everyday because he

fingerpaints himself with his diarrhea, you might have a kid with

autism.

If you clean out all the vents in your house and find all kinds of

old food in there, you realize why your house is being invaded my

ants, you might have a kid with autism.

If you can't turn on a blowdryer or vacuum cleaner or start the car

without your kid covering his ears and screaming, you might have a

kid with autism.

If the tv is on full blast and your kid is standing right at the

screen, you might have a kid with autism.

If your toddler is at preschool evaluation meeting and has no

interest in any of the toys, but prefers to just sit and read the

white pages of the phone book, you might have a child with autism.

Thanks again for the laughs,

> >

> > .

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Holly - Quick! Take full credit for these very, extremely funny lines

because pretty soon we will see them all over the place! These are

sooo good, you should publish them!! I haven't laughed this hard in

a while. What's great about these, is that no matter what we think

caused autism, or the best way to treat it? We ALL can relate!

Sally

>

> If you come into the living room and realize your 3 year old has

actually

> MOVED the furniture because it was breaking up his long line of

legos or

> cars..

>

>

>

> If you have invested in a professional plumber's snake....

>

>

>

> If your keychain makes you look like a locksmith, you can tell

which is

> which by the feel and they never leave your body..

>

>

>

> When you start repeating today's stim phrases without realizing it..

>

>

>

> When you no longer hear the Revenge of the Sith music playing for

the last 7

> hours...

>

>

>

> When you can recognize and name every thomas the tank engine and

all of his

> frickin friends from 15 feet away and actually correct someone when

they get

> one wrong.

>

>

>

> When you know to save everything you are working on on your

computer BEFORE

> you lift one butt cheek because you know it will be closed the

second you

> turn around..

>

>

>

> When you no longer expect privacy in the bathroom and wonder where

the hell

> he is when you have it..

>

>

>

> When you can multitask yelling " stop licking the tv " , open the door

for the

> UPS guy who is delivering your $300 worth of new compounded meds,

talk on

> the phone to some insurance company idiot who is denying your

claims, again,

> and wipe peanut butter off the staircase railing at the same time

and

> haven't had coffee yet..

>

>

>

> When you drink to a friend's 10 year old having her first poop on

the

> potty...

>

>

>

> When it's easier to just sell your house and move than it is to keep

> painting and cleaning poop off the walls..

>

>

>

> When you have to explain what those stains are on the walls and

carpets to

> the realtor and you forget not everyone has furniture bolted to the

walls

> until you see the look on his face...

>

>

>

> When the feeling in two of your fingertips goes away when it's cold

because

> your kid bit the living piss out of them when you were teaching him

to

> swallow pills 7 years ago...

>

>

>

> When you spend your summer vacation learning the peptide synthesis

cycle..

>

>

>

> You know the fax number and health aide's name and birthday for all

your

> congressmen & senators...

>

>

>

> You have started a collection and filled more than 15 binders with

> " procedural safeguards " from school meetings..

>

>

>

> When your 6yo son can tell you every single financing detail on

getting a

> new Chevy during Truck month - " 2.9% APR financing for approved

buyers " ...

>

>

>

> When your son sees a car fire on the drive home one day and the

next day

> screams bloody murder for another car fire the next day, and every

day for

> the next week, because it was sparkly..

>

>

>

> When you know ketchup goes on ALL potatoes, including mashed,

because it's a

> potato after all...

>

>

>

> Next.

>