Guest guest Posted March 29, 2007 Report Share Posted March 29, 2007 I liked it the other way, the irony! We should all drive around with this bumper sticker, " If you want a kid like mine, Demand a Vaccine With Mercury!! " > >>> > > >>> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer > >>> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might > >>> > have a child with autism... > >>> > > >>> > > >> > >> > >> > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2007 Report Share Posted March 29, 2007 I'm roaring... " I love Daddy Best....classic > > If you frantically, but quietly, rush through the house shutting > doors and windows at the sound of a siren.... > > If you buy underwear in the jumbo/economy amounts, because some > messes are beyond any detergent.... > > If you can recite the next line of dialog from any Disney movie with > just a 2 word intro.... > > If you know there is only one way to put on shoes, one way to climb > into bed and to only step on the gray tiles when walking down the > hall.... > > If you're thrilled to hear, " I love Daddy best " (because you realize > the level of thought process needed for that statement).... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 -No, I think the skidmarks are just applicable to all the men that we know. I know my husband would be on the spectrum if he received the same amount of jabs my kids got. -- In EOHarm , " tmiktliu " <rtoni@...> wrote: > > why is it when I see the word " skidmark " I seem to recall some prior > reference to Fombonne...? <g> > > > > > > No, that is applicable to all men I think. > > > > > > > > _____ > > > > From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On > Behalf Of > > andrea52521991 > > > > > > If every pair of underwear your kid owns has stains from skidmarks > > becuase he doesn't wipe very good or even at all for that > > matter..then you might have a child with autism. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 LOL--- you’re good at making lemonaid out of lemons I was distracted when I wrote it because my friend said the other day, “is your car the one with the –ask for vaccines without mercury- sticker?” I said “No- it says DEMAND vaccines without mercury. I’m not that nice.” On 3/29/07 5:58 PM, " foxhairdo38 " <wendtworth68@...> wrote: I liked it the other way, the irony! We should all drive around with this bumper sticker, " If you want a kid like mine, Demand a Vaccine With Mercury!! " > >>> > > >>> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer > >>> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might > >>> > have a child with autism... > >>> > > >>> > > >> > >> > >> > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 When you don’t have one CD or DVD without bite marks or large scratches in them…..you might have a child with Autism When you hear pouring rain inside you house from an upstairs flooding toilet…….you might have a child with Autism. When your 1 year old furniture looks like it’s a hopeless antique……..you might have a child with Autism. When every electronic device in the house has to be replaced bi monthly…….you might have a child with Autism. When Trick or Treating causes chronic knocking on the neighbor’s doors…….you might have a child with Autism. When “child proof” locks are completely useless……you might have a child with Autism. When you have to find no VOC primer and paint to redo every wall of your house previously covered in crayon, pen and sharpie marker…..you might have a child with Autism. When you wake up every hour of the night for 6 years to check on your children even on the nights they sleep through……you might have a child with Autism. When you are an expert in shit; color, content, consistency…….you might have a child with Autism. From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of andrea52521991 Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2007 5:56 PM EOHarm Subject: Re: OT: Autism: The Musical When you kid eats $1.47 in change and you don't know about it until they come out in the toilet....you might have a child with autism. When you kids eats 62 marbles..you might have a kid with autism. When your kid eats the magnetix marbles and hides the box from you so you want take his stash....you might have a child with autism. When your kid eats dirt, rocks, mulch, grass but refuses cake, ice cream, candy and cookies...you might have a child with autism. When they know you on a first name basis in the lab and or x-ray dept at you local hospital...you might have a shild with autism. When you kid gets out of the house and is swinging on the swings in the back yard at 3 am...you might have a child with autism. When you move into a new neighborhood and you kid walks into the new neighbors house while they are at the table eating dinner, and heads right upstairs to the bathroom and takes a dump..you might have a kid with autism. > >> > > >> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer > >> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might > >> > have a child with autism... > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 I’ll add this one for my girlfriend – when you catch your kid doing shots of corn syrup on the floor of your closet to get high…… From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of andrea52521991 Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2007 5:56 PM EOHarm Subject: Re: OT: Autism: The Musical When you kid eats $1.47 in change and you don't know about it until they come out in the toilet....you might have a child with autism. When you kids eats 62 marbles..you might have a kid with autism. When your kid eats the magnetix marbles and hides the box from you so you want take his stash....you might have a child with autism. When your kid eats dirt, rocks, mulch, grass but refuses cake, ice cream, candy and cookies...you might have a child with autism. When they know you on a first name basis in the lab and or x-ray dept at you local hospital...you might have a shild with autism. When you kid gets out of the house and is swinging on the swings in the back yard at 3 am...you might have a child with autism. When you move into a new neighborhood and you kid walks into the new neighbors house while they are at the table eating dinner, and heads right upstairs to the bathroom and takes a dump..you might have a kid with autism. > >> > > >> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer > >> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might > >> > have a child with autism... > >> > > >> > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 > If you can recite the next line of dialog from any Disney movie with > just a 2 word intro.... " Awake! little boy made of pine the gift of life is thine. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 " The sea monkey has my money " --- schaferatsprynet <schafer@...> wrote: > > > If you can recite the next line of dialog from any > Disney movie with > > just a 2 word intro.... > > " Awake! > little boy made of pine > the gift of life is thine. " > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Food fight? Enjoy some healthy debate in the Answers Food & Drink Q & A. http://answers./dir/?link=list & sid=396545367 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 You guys are killing me. I really needed a laugh this evening, so thank you. Here goes. If your child would rather have an empty plastic bottle more than anything else in this world……. If your child digs through the trash like a junkie looking for a day old hamburger bun…… If you discuss bowel movements as casually as the weather – at the dinner table - size, color, frequency, consistency……… If your child’s mattress lies on the floor instead of on a bed frame……. If you buy a 25 lb box of dairy substitute on the internet……. If you don’t buy bread because you’re afraid the little junkie will discover it and tear through the whole loaf…… You have to watch your child to make sure he doesn’t lick the Purell off his hands…… Next………. Pamela " Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared. " Eddie Rickenbacker, top US fighter ace, WWI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 Yup, we're all poop experts. > > >> > > > >> > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer > > >> > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might > > >> > have a child with autism... > > >> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 If every toilet in your house is not operating along with lots of toilet paper on your bathroom floors ( and will only use sheets that are perfectly square and not torn)…. If you walk on a sandy feeling kitchen floor every day because those damn salt and pepper shakers must be filled to the very, very top…. If your cat and dog run faster than lightning when your child approaches…… If the indication to your child that the glass is full is only when the drink is dripping on his feet and all over the floor…. If you are still looking for all elastic pants and no tie shoes in the men’s department….. If you find yourself answering the same question for the 100th time during the last hour… If you bought every “safety gadget” in ToysRus & hardware store then find yourself writing letters to the company with new ideas for other safety gadgets... You just might have a child with autism. Next…. From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of foxhairdo38 Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2007 4:41 PM EOHarm Subject: Re: OT: Autism: The Musical If you have a five year old who eats your furniture, you might have a child with autism. > > > > If you're still listening to Dora the Explorer > > Christmas music on the car CD,and it's March,you might > > have a child with autism... > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 If your child strips down as soon as he is home, even when it is 20 below outside and mom is cold with a sweater on…. If your 7 year old sticks his face squarely in your armpit on a regular basis, and considers it a pleasant, calming experience…. If you constantly remind that you have to use more than 2 squares of toilet paper to wipe your bottom and they cannot be wadded up in a ball the size of a marble… If you give your child a hug as he walks by you, and you smell poop, then realize he has wiped his poopy fingers all over his (bare) body… If when Nana comes to visit, and she asks for a hug, your child approaches and then turns and backs into her… If it is getting hard to find a big enough bike that has training wheels…. If at Disney World, you must avoid the castle at all costs, because approaching it, as well as any character will cause your child to scream and shake in fear and climb daddy like a tree to try to get on top of his head….but has no fear of riding Space Mountain several times in a row… You might have a child with autism. A note here: my seven year old has done all these in the last year and reading this sounds pretty ASD still, but he also has lots of really good friends, has lots of sleepovers, will talk your ear off, goes to a typical school without needing any special services, goes to swim lessons, summer day camp, etc. with typical kids without mom or an aid, and will now go into a small convenience store by himself (I wait in the car) and make a purchase of a special treat like a pack of gum. Go Noah!!!! Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 Great additions Becky and glad to hear Noah is doing so well. On 3/29/07 8:36 PM, " Becky Grant-Widen " <bgrantwiden@...> wrote: If your child strips down as soon as he is home, even when it is 20 below outside and mom is cold with a sweater on…. If your 7 year old sticks his face squarely in your armpit on a regular basis, and considers it a pleasant, calming experience…. If you constantly remind that you have to use more than 2 squares of toilet paper to wipe your bottom and they cannot be wadded up in a ball the size of a marble… If you give your child a hug as he walks by you, and you smell poop, then realize he has wiped his poopy fingers all over his (bare) body… If when Nana comes to visit, and she asks for a hug, your child approaches and then turns and backs into her… If it is getting hard to find a big enough bike that has training wheels…. If at Disney World, you must avoid the castle at all costs, because approaching it, as well as any character will cause your child to scream and shake in fear and climb daddy like a tree to try to get on top of his head….but has no fear of riding Space Mountain several times in a row… You might have a child with autism. A note here: my seven year old has done all these in the last year and reading this sounds pretty ASD still, but he also has lots of really good friends, has lots of sleepovers, will talk your ear off, goes to a typical school without needing any special services, goes to swim lessons, summer day camp, etc. with typical kids without mom or an aid, and will now go into a small convenience store by himself (I wait in the car) and make a purchase of a special treat like a pack of gum. Go Noah!!!! Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 ummm... ok... I hear what you are saying... but your tone is frustrating. See, what we are doing here tonight, is popping off some " funnies " to deal with the situation. If you think that living with an autistic child 24/7 is really the same as an NT child, you stand a good chance of not being correct. Every child is different, yes, but from your description, you are coming into something difficult and I hope you do not ever say to his father. " Eh get over it " We do love them more, everytime I have to deal with one of these " autistic " moments, I love him more. But do not think you can come here and minimize what OTHER people are dealing with. Good luck to you. W. On 3/29/07, fireonice777@... <fireonice777@...> wrote: I dunno. I raised three NT boys as a single mom and there wasnt a day that these things didnt occur. On top of wrecking furniture, walls, leather interior of car, eating jacks, putting cheerios up each others noses, legos in the vcr, they had " male domination issues " or so my 8 year old told me... I was living 'Please Dont Eat the Daisies' and learned to laugh as well as cry. Now I am marrying a man and adopting his severely autistic ten year old son as my own. He is amazed that I can stomach the peculiarities of this darling handful in pull-ups, OC terror with food and paper, head-banging, stimming. It's easy I tell him, " HE IS A BOY " . Boys are naturally difficult and contrary, its a healthy part of them.No one said it was going to be easy. My advice: Get over it and Love them More!!!! **************************************See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 Well said , Just what to add something ! BECAUSE of advices like this : " He is a Boy ", " Boys are like this " "Get over it "" Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Thousands of children w/t delays ,PDD ,Autism are not diagnosed early and their Parents was confuse of what to believe . IMO early diagnose and early intervention is the biggest peace of the puzzle. But just b/c those ignorant advices, there are thousands of children stolen by deep ,painful .....don't even have word to describe "Autism" and they may never come back !!. To the lady that adopting this 10 y.o. child , PLEASE , for the sake of this child Help him .He is in great pain and none of those behaviors are present b/c he is a Boy it is b/c he is in pain ,real pain - " Autism" --- Heavy metal poisoning ,GUT inflammation ,Brain inflammation ....... etc. For the record : Autism Mom's love is greater !!! Webster <jwebs94@...> wrote: ummm... ok... I hear what you are saying... but your tone is frustrating. See, what we are doing here tonight, is popping off some "funnies" to deal with the situation. If you think that living with an autistic child 24/7 is really the same as an NT child, you stand a good chance of not being correct. Every child is different, yes, but from your description, you are coming into something difficult and I hope you do not ever say to his father. "Eh get over it" We do love them more, everytime I have to deal with one of these "autistic" moments, I love him more. But do not think you can come here and minimize what OTHER people are dealing with. Good luck to you. W. On 3/29/07, fireonice777aol <fireonice777aol> wrote: I dunno. I raised three NT boys as a single mom and there wasnt a day that these things didnt occur. On top of wrecking furniture, walls, leather interior of car, eating jacks, putting cheerios up each others noses, legos in the vcr, they had "male domination issues" or so my 8 year old told me... I was living 'Please Dont Eat the Daisies' and learned to laugh as well as cry. Now I am marrying a man and adopting his severely autistic ten year old son as my own. He is amazed that I can stomach the peculiarities of this darling handful in pull-ups, OC terror with food and paper, head-banging, stimming. It's easy I tell him, "HE IS A BOY". Boys are naturally difficult and contrary, its a healthy part of them.No one said it was going to be easy. My advice: Get over it and Love them More!!!!**************************************See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Nora Bunis -Stuart The fish are biting. Get more visitors on your site using Search Marketing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 Yeah Noah!!! Great news Becky- thanks for the update. > > If your child strips down as soon as he is home, even when it is 20 > below outside and mom is cold with a sweater on.. > > > > If your 7 year old sticks his face squarely in your armpit on a regular > basis, and considers it a pleasant, calming experience.. > > > > If you constantly remind that you have to use more than 2 squares of > toilet paper to wipe your bottom and they cannot be wadded up in a ball > the size of a marble. > > > > If you give your child a hug as he walks by you, and you smell poop, > then realize he has wiped his poopy fingers all over his (bare) body. > > > > If when Nana comes to visit, and she asks for a hug, your child > approaches and then turns and backs into her. > > > > If it is getting hard to find a big enough bike that has training > wheels.. > > > > If at Disney World, you must avoid the castle at all costs, because > approaching it, as well as any character will cause your child to scream > and shake in fear and climb daddy like a tree to try to get on top of > his head..but has no fear of riding Space Mountain several times in a > row. > > > > You might have a child with autism. > > > > A note here: my seven year old has done all these in the last year and > reading this sounds pretty ASD still, but he also has lots of really > good friends, has lots of sleepovers, will talk your ear off, goes to a > typical school without needing any special services, goes to swim > lessons, summer day camp, etc. with typical kids without mom or an aid, > and will now go into a small convenience store by himself (I wait in the > car) and make a purchase of a special treat like a pack of gum. Go > Noah!!!! > > > > Becky > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 If you can tell " the Wiggles " is done by the sound of your child's high-pitched squealing as it assaults your eardrums from across the house while you're trying to fold laundry, even though he seemingly ignored the whole episode while stimming to the sleeping dog under the coffee table... If this is the 35th time today that you've relived the above scenario... If he won't eat anything that's green... If tomorrow, he won't eat anything that's brown... If once a year your go through weeks of your child trying to pull his short sleeves down to his wrists and short pant legs down to his knees only to spend several weeks 6 months later having your child try to roll up his long sleeves and pant legs now that he's finally adjusted to t-shirts and shorts... If getting his hair combed could qualify for a WWF Wrestling Match... If stepping foot into a Hair Cuttery (or Great Clips or Fantastic Sams) sends him into fits of panic as if you were leading him to slaughter... If you walk into his room and every block, toy car, and Lego is lined up across his room with such precision that the US military would be jealous... If he shows artistic genius to rival that of Van Gogh at the age of 3 but you can't get him to stop getting p% & ^ed off and throwing the crayons (and everything else within his reach) to the floor when the last circle he drew wasn't perfectly round... ....you might have a child with autism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 If you can tell " the Wiggles " is done by the sound of your child's high-pitched squealing as it assaults your eardrums from across the house while you're trying to fold laundry, even though he seemingly ignored the whole episode while stimming to the sleeping dog under the coffee table... If this is the 35th time today that you've relived the above scenario... If he won't eat anything that's green... If tomorrow, he won't eat anything that's brown... If once a year your go through weeks of your child trying to pull his short sleeves down to his wrists and short pant legs down to his knees only to spend several weeks 6 months later having your child try to roll up his long sleeves and pant legs now that he's finally adjusted to t-shirts and shorts... If getting his hair combed could qualify for a WWF Wrestling Match... If stepping foot into a Hair Cuttery (or Great Clips or Fantastic Sams) sends him into fits of panic as if you were leading him to slaughter... If you walk into his room and every block, toy car, and Lego is lined up across his room with such precision that the US military would be jealous... If he shows artistic genius to rival that of Van Gogh at the age of 3 but you can't get him to stop getting p% & ^ed off and throwing the crayons (and everything else within his reach) to the floor when the last circle he drew wasn't perfectly round... ....you might have a child with autism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 If you chant the following chants several times a day: " What goes in you mouth??? FOOD!!!, is a (fill in he blank) food?? NO!!!, should it be in your mouth??? NO!! If you ever had to run up to the ball pit where your 10 year old was playing to whisper loudly and firmly, " PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON RIGHT NOW " If you haven't slept all night in you own bed since you can't remember... if you have to use the handicap bathroom stall b/c its you, your 10 y/o and your 2 y/o coming with you... if you have a college degree but are unemployed b/c you don't have time to work AND even though you're not working you can't fit anyone into your schedule b/c its tighter than the presidents.... if your 2 y/o has ever had to remind you to put your 10 y/o's seat belt on.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 If you chant the following chants several times a day: " What goes in you mouth??? FOOD!!!, is a (fill in he blank) food?? NO!!!, should it be in your mouth??? NO!! If you ever had to run up to the ball pit where your 10 year old was playing to whisper loudly and firmly, " PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON RIGHT NOW " If you haven't slept all night in you own bed since you can't remember... if you have to use the handicap bathroom stall b/c its you, your 10 y/o and your 2 y/o coming with you... if you have a college degree but are unemployed b/c you don't have time to work AND even though you're not working you can't fit anyone into your schedule b/c its tighter than the presidents.... if your 2 y/o has ever had to remind you to put your 10 y/o's seat belt on.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 LOL some of those really hit home, LMAO! I just spent all winter trying to get Gavin to wear sweats --he refused and wore shorts and T's around the house all winter... the first day it hits 70 he refused to put shorts on and went around in sweats! On 3/29/07, Ferman <mferman@...> wrote: .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 Rather, If once a year you go through weeks of your child trying to pull his short sleeves down to his wrists and short pant legs down to his ankles only to spend several weeks 6 months later having your child try to roll up his long sleeves and pant legs now that he's finally adjusted to t-shirts and shorts... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 If you come into the living room and realize your 3 year old has actually MOVED the furniture because it was breaking up his long line of legos or cars…. If you have invested in a professional plumber’s snake…….. If your keychain makes you look like a locksmith, you can tell which is which by the feel and they never leave your body…… When you start repeating today’s stim phrases without realizing it…… When you no longer hear the Revenge of the Sith music playing for the last 7 hours….. When you can recognize and name every thomas the tank engine and all of his frickin friends from 15 feet away and actually correct someone when they get one wrong… When you know to save everything you are working on on your computer BEFORE you lift one butt cheek because you know it will be closed the second you turn around…. When you no longer expect privacy in the bathroom and wonder where the hell he is when you have it…… When you can multitask yelling “stop licking the tv”, open the door for the UPS guy who is delivering your $300 worth of new compounded meds, talk on the phone to some insurance company idiot who is denying your claims, again, and wipe peanut butter off the staircase railing at the same time and haven’t had coffee yet…… When you drink to a friend’s 10 year old having her first poop on the potty….. When it’s easier to just sell your house and move than it is to keep painting and cleaning poop off the walls…. When you have to explain what those stains are on the walls and carpets to the realtor and you forget not everyone has furniture bolted to the walls until you see the look on his face….. When the feeling in two of your fingertips goes away when it’s cold because your kid bit the living piss out of them when you were teaching him to swallow pills 7 years ago….. When you spend your summer vacation learning the peptide synthesis cycle…. You know the fax number and health aide’s name and birthday for all your congressmen & senators….. You have started a collection and filled more than 15 binders with “procedural safeguards” from school meetings…… When your 6yo son can tell you every single financing detail on getting a new Chevy during Truck month – “2.9% APR financing for approved buyers”….. When your son sees a car fire on the drive home one day and the next day screams bloody murder for another car fire the next day, and every day for the next week, because it was sparkly…… When you know ketchup goes on ALL potatoes, including mashed, because it’s a potato after all….. Next… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 Oh my gosh...I am laughing so hard from all of these posts, boy do they hit home. Thanks for all of them, I really needed to laugh like this. If you are downstairs in the living room and happen to notice water coming through the ceiling from the upstairs bathroom because it's packed with a whole roll of toilet paper, a Sonicare toothbrush and tons of legos, you might have a kid with autism. If you have to give your kid 5 emergency baths everyday because he fingerpaints himself with his diarrhea, you might have a kid with autism. If you clean out all the vents in your house and find all kinds of old food in there, you realize why your house is being invaded my ants, you might have a kid with autism. If you can't turn on a blowdryer or vacuum cleaner or start the car without your kid covering his ears and screaming, you might have a kid with autism. If the tv is on full blast and your kid is standing right at the screen, you might have a kid with autism. If your toddler is at preschool evaluation meeting and has no interest in any of the toys, but prefers to just sit and read the white pages of the phone book, you might have a child with autism. Thanks again for the laughs, > > > > . > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 Holly - Quick! Take full credit for these very, extremely funny lines because pretty soon we will see them all over the place! These are sooo good, you should publish them!! I haven't laughed this hard in a while. What's great about these, is that no matter what we think caused autism, or the best way to treat it? We ALL can relate! Sally > > If you come into the living room and realize your 3 year old has actually > MOVED the furniture because it was breaking up his long line of legos or > cars.. > > > > If you have invested in a professional plumber's snake.... > > > > If your keychain makes you look like a locksmith, you can tell which is > which by the feel and they never leave your body.. > > > > When you start repeating today's stim phrases without realizing it.. > > > > When you no longer hear the Revenge of the Sith music playing for the last 7 > hours... > > > > When you can recognize and name every thomas the tank engine and all of his > frickin friends from 15 feet away and actually correct someone when they get > one wrong. > > > > When you know to save everything you are working on on your computer BEFORE > you lift one butt cheek because you know it will be closed the second you > turn around.. > > > > When you no longer expect privacy in the bathroom and wonder where the hell > he is when you have it.. > > > > When you can multitask yelling " stop licking the tv " , open the door for the > UPS guy who is delivering your $300 worth of new compounded meds, talk on > the phone to some insurance company idiot who is denying your claims, again, > and wipe peanut butter off the staircase railing at the same time and > haven't had coffee yet.. > > > > When you drink to a friend's 10 year old having her first poop on the > potty... > > > > When it's easier to just sell your house and move than it is to keep > painting and cleaning poop off the walls.. > > > > When you have to explain what those stains are on the walls and carpets to > the realtor and you forget not everyone has furniture bolted to the walls > until you see the look on his face... > > > > When the feeling in two of your fingertips goes away when it's cold because > your kid bit the living piss out of them when you were teaching him to > swallow pills 7 years ago... > > > > When you spend your summer vacation learning the peptide synthesis cycle.. > > > > You know the fax number and health aide's name and birthday for all your > congressmen & senators... > > > > You have started a collection and filled more than 15 binders with > " procedural safeguards " from school meetings.. > > > > When your 6yo son can tell you every single financing detail on getting a > new Chevy during Truck month - " 2.9% APR financing for approved buyers " ... > > > > When your son sees a car fire on the drive home one day and the next day > screams bloody murder for another car fire the next day, and every day for > the next week, because it was sparkly.. > > > > When you know ketchup goes on ALL potatoes, including mashed, because it's a > potato after all... > > > > Next. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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