Re: homeschool

February 11, 2008

On a side note,,,,I remember during Ian's last year at school (5th grade - last year), he responded to someone with, "If you want a battle,,,,I'll give you a war.". That was a great phone call to get. Gotta love em. Hee hee.Robin <cindyelgamal@...> wrote: When my son was in public school they provided a sped bus. I think there were times he was the only student on the bus but mostly it was

him and a wheelchair-bound child. Tyler just could not handle the noise and commotion on the regular bus plus he was being tormented and bullied – at one point before we implemented sped busing he was constantly being threatened by a group of boys who were going to “beat him up” and he was told another time by this group that they had “paid” someone to beat him up. He retaliated by telling them he was going to “blow them up” - of course, ours kids are not too savvy and while the other boys made sure no one saw or heard them threaten to beat Tyler up, Tyler made his threat loud and clear and was then in trouble for making a terroristic threat. It was not a good experience but he did fine on the sped bus – loved his driver (poor lady I think he talked her ear off!). From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoxannaSent: Monday, February 11, 2008 9:10 PM Subject: Re: Re: ( ) Re: homeschool Probably you haven't experienced the same level of needs as other parents. And yes, if a sped child needs a bus aide, then one needs to be provided. Some schools provide sped busing as well. The schools have to provide what the law allows. That was already determined to be realistic by the people at the top, not by me. If you prefer to do things differently and it works for you,

then by all means do it. But not everyone can or wants to do it that way. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) Re: homeschool > I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who >already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about >it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of

>public school...I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does >more harm than good. Any thoughts?>>> >>>>>I have to agree on you about this as my hubby keeps saying that I cant homeschool our 12 yr old son because our son doesn't listen to us now since he is in public school why would he listen if he is home all day? I told him our son would not be under as much stress if he were home and hubby said "well thats life and are you going to be around all his life so he doesn't have to do anything in the real world?" GRRRRMarj

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February 11, 2008

Ditto for PTA in public school. Now that Tyler is in a

private school I belong to the Parent Organization which does fundraising but

it is a private school with only 34 students in its second year of operation.

Tuition only covers 80% of expenses and they have to raise the rest in other

ways – we are getting ready for an auction in a couple of weeks.

Part of the fund-raising goes to provide tuition for students who could not

attend otherwise. I feel very strongly about this as I feel very blessed that

we can afford to send Tyler and can almost cry at the thought of all the students

who need this environment so badly and who have no chance of ever attending this

school without help. Being a private school they get no public

funds. Plus, the director feels very strongly about continuing education,

seminars, conferences for the teachers and these are expensive. Another function

of the Parent Organization is to provide “social” opportunities for

our kids – have had 2 or 3 since school started. I also volunteer

one day a week.

And, I also vote.

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of Roxanna

Sent: Monday, February 11, 2008 9:05 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) homeschool

I sure

hear ya on the fundraising stuff. I don't think PTA is really for

me. Like you, I'd rather give of my time in other ways and this year, I

am volunteering twice a week in the classroom.

As for

voting - yep, I always do that.

Roxanna

Autism Happens

-----

Original Message -----

From: Liz Bohn

Sent: Monday, February 11,

2008 5:20 PM

Subject: Re:

( ) homeschool

I vote in every school board election. (My school district, by the way, is

HUGE.) I volunteered in my ds's classes, I was in touch with his program

counselors and teachers and administrators all the time, especially in high

school. The problem was that THE PROGRAM DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM. They all admitted

it, too. They were wonderful people, who were committed to providing excellent

special ed services, don't get me wrong. I have the utmost respect for these

people and this program. It just wasn't right for ds. They DIDN'T HAVE

something that was right for him, not in high school.

Just wait, on the PTA front. I won't get into the PTA.

There's them that likes it, and there's them that don't. Everywhere I've lived,

PTA has been involved with fundraising, and that's about it. If I am involved

in one more gift wrapping drive, I will go stark raving mad. I feel that I can

make more of a contribution by volunteering in the classroom with ESL (English

as a Second Language) students or with the writing program. What can I say?

I've been through two school districts with two non-typical children. I'm an

old grouch by now.

Liz

On Feb 11, 2008, at 12:45 PM, Adam & Meg Ritterpusch

wrote:

,

I work with a woman whose

daughter is graduating from our school district this year, and her daughter has

panic disorder. She has great things to say about how the school district

has treated her daughter. My neighbor a mile down the road raised six

kids in this school district with the youngest graduating last year, and she

said that the school district was great for her kids, even the one who started

late because of delays from birth issues (born without part of her trachea,

premature, etc.) and the one who is dyslexic. Our community's librarian

has a niece who had a lot of trouble with speech (sounds like she had speech

apraxia, but Cricket didn't say) and who is a sophomore in our high school and

doing great. The county's 4-H leader who is a Special Education teacher

at another school in the county (the middle school) has told me that she

really likes the programs at our school and thinks that our son will do well

here. The director of the Birth to Three program (again county run not

related to our school) really likes the teaching, classes, and administration

for our school district - we flat out asked her if we were in the best school

for our son in the area or should consider another school district, and she

said that the one we are in is fantastic. I am basing my confidence on a

lot of opinions and experiences from a lot of other people plus the knowledge

that we have started out well.

For all of you who hate how your

schools are run, do you know who is on your school board? Do you vote in

elections so that you can get better board members? Have you been

involved with PTA? If you don't like how something is run, this country

does allow for you to do something about it.

February 11, 2008

I just want to say, be careful about expecting too little of your AS children. I am speaking as one who has probably expected too little of her AS son, and is regretting it now. My son is extremely bright and there is no reason he shouldn't be helping out around the house and treating people respectfully. I've stopped accepting bad behavior. Last week, in the car, ds called me a b**ch for making him come grocery shopping with me. I stopped the car, told him in no uncertain terms that I don't have to put up with abusive behavior, verbally or otherwise, and that if he wants to continue living here, he'd better be prepared to obey the family rules and be prepared to help out. He sulkily said that I'd be sorry to see him starve to death if I forced him to move out. I told him that if he moved out, I would still support him financially, and I would make sure he was well taken care of, and that it was up to him whether he continued to live here or not. He has been delightful ever since -- very helpful.LizOn Feb 11, 2008, at 8:50 PM, BRYAN DOLEZAL wrote:Thanks, ...And, sorry if you feel it was uncalled for ; I did not mean to offend anyone but reality is, I did mean it; I DO WORRY for that child; WHILE it is great that they have high hopes for their child, as do we all, they have got to be realistic. I, personally, have my NT 5 year old doing some things more, responsibly, etc., than my AS 14 year old,

February 11, 2008

Perfectly said, Liz. Sorry, but I had to chuckle about the "sorry to see me starve" comment. RobinLiz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote: I just want to say, be careful about expecting too little of your AS children. I am speaking as one who has probably expected too little of her AS son, and is regretting it now. My son is extremely bright and there is no reason he shouldn't be helping out around the house and treating people respectfully. I've stopped accepting bad behavior. Last week, in the car, ds called me a b**ch for

making him come grocery shopping with me. I stopped the car, told him in no uncertain terms that I don't have to put up with abusive behavior, verbally or otherwise, and that if he wants to continue living here, he'd better be prepared to obey the family rules and be prepared to help out. He sulkily said that I'd be sorry to see him starve to death if I forced him to move out. I told him that if he moved out, I would still support him financially, and I would make sure he was well taken care of, and that it was up to him whether he continued to live here or not. He has been delightful ever since -- very helpful. Liz On Feb 11, 2008, at 8:50 PM, BRYAN DOLEZAL wrote: Thanks, ...And, sorry if you feel it was uncalled for ; I did not mean to offend anyone but reality is, I did mean it; I DO WORRY for that child; WHILE it is great that they have high hopes for their child, as do we all, they have got to be realistic. I, personally, have my NT 5 year old doing some things more, responsibly, etc., than my AS 14 year old,

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February 11, 2008

It's such a fine line but I completely agree with you. I had patience for Dylan's slow-to-come-around-inappropriate behavior, like throwing a tantrum when he didn't get his way. But if he hit me for any reason when he was younger, he sat in a timeout. No exceptions. I've always expected him to treat me appropriately and he's sweet as he can be with me now most of the time. Although he did tell me to "shush" the other day in an angry voice and he sat in a timeout for it too (at the age of 11.) If I don't nip it in the bud now, I know it could get worse.

Good for you! Stick up for yourself. Makes you a better mom.

Re: ( ) homeschool

I just want to say, be careful about expecting too little of your AS children. I am speaking as one who has probably expected too little of her AS son, and is regretting it now. My son is extremely bright and there is no reason he shouldn't be helping out around the house and treating people respectfully. I've stopped accepting bad behavior. Last week, in the car, ds called me a b**ch for making him come grocery shopping with me. I stopped the car, told him in no uncertain terms that I don't have to put up with abusive behavior, verbally or otherwise, and that if he wants to continue living here, he'd better be prepared to obey the family rules and be prepared to help out. He sulkily said that I'd be sorry to see him starve to death if I forced him to move out. I told him that if he moved out, I would still support him financially, and I would make sure he was well taken care of, and that it was up to him whether he continued to live here or not. He

has been delightful ever since -- very helpful.

Liz

On Feb 11, 2008, at 8:50 PM, BRYAN DOLEZAL wrote:

Thanks, ...And, sorry if you feel it was uncalled for ; I did not mean to offend anyone but reality is, I did mean it; I DO WORRY for that child; WHILE it is great that they have high hopes for their child, as do we all, they have got to be realistic. I, personally, have my NT 5 year old doing some things more, responsibly, etc., than my AS 14 year old,

February 11, 2008

Absolutely. Aspergers kids do not belong in alternative schools

that are for behavioral issues.

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of Roxanna

Sent: Monday, February 11, 2008 12:09 PM

Subject: Re: Re: ( ) homeschool

We do

have those alternative schools here too. We have a number of options

because our school is large and you have to really be careful as to what you

are signing up for! I know a number of kids with AS were recommended to

go to " the alternative school " for bad kids because they had

behaviors that the school could not manage or deal with. If a parent

didn't know better, they would be sold on the alternative one and be sorry later.

Roxanna

Autism Happens

-----

Original Message -----

From: Jo T.

Sent: Monday, February 11,

2008 11:29 AM

Subject: Re:

( ) homeschool

Michigan does have " alternative " schools, and I

may not be " up on the

times " , but from what I perceive, the alternative

schools are for the

can I say " naughty " kids? The kids who

basically are not allowed

at any other public school, so they congregate in the

alternative

schools, and it would be a school I definately WOULD NOT

want my

child close to.

We also do have Charter Schools, which I had heard lots of

good

things about in the past ... altho' I'm not sure if they are

now what they

had promised.

We have " home school " schools where home-schooled

kids can

attend one day a week with other home-schooled peers;

HOWEVER, I

DEFINATELY WOULD NOT recommend THAT school to ANYBODY,

especially our special unique kids, because it seems that IF

YOUR

CHILD DOES NOT FIT THEIR " COOKIE CUTTER' SHAPE OF

WHAT THEY PERCEIVE A CHILD SHOULD BE, well, your basically

SOL. And, not kindly either! I would NEVER

subject my child to

THOSE PEOPLE again! That school did more harm than

good,

unfortunately. I should have checked it out better

before I

entered into the " agreement " .

We also have private schools, and a real good small private

school where my children attended, in which my 8 y/o DS will

eventually return.

So, that's what it's like in Michigan. I also would

like to say

that I believe our public school systems are doing the best

that

they can. Unfortunately, being a teacher these days is

NOT an easy

task. I give all teachers a lot of credit for being

able to do it, day after

day, and there ARE many interested & invested teachers

out there.

Take care,

Jo T.

Adam & Meg Ritterpusch <ritterpusch@...> wrote:

I

*am* new to the group, but I also did read many, many, many of the threads

before posting and am well aware of some of the problems experienced by members

of this group. I also think that there is a lot of negativity on this

group about public schools, and I would like to be one of the few who say that

public school can be fantastic - my husband and I went to fantastic public

schools in south-central Pennsylvania, our kids will be in a fantastic public

school in Wisconsin, my friend's daughter who was born deaf and now has

cochlear implants will be in a fantastic public school in

northwestern Pennsylvania (is in Early Childhood classes at the public school

already), and my husband's brother-in-law teaches at a fantastic public

school in northwestern Pennsylvania. They *are* out there.

Have

any of you whose children weren't thriving in public school tried alternative

public schools? In Pennsylvania they have vocational-technical high

schools that are public schools that can be chosen over the traditional public

school; unfortunately, these don't seem to be offered in Wisconsin at the high

school level. My AS husband chose to attend vo-tech for high school, as

it better fit his style of learning in a hands on environment. He is very

quick to say that vo-tech school was a fantastic place for him, and he wishes

that all states offered such schools. For all members on this list, what

alternative schools do you have? Charter schools? Vo-tech schools?

If we consider that most people with AS are three dimensional learners, thus

often struggling in an education system that is traditionally linear, these

alternative public schools could be fabulous options!

-----

Original Message -----

From: BRYAN DOLEZAL

Aspergers Treatment

Sent: Sunday, February 10,

2008 2:55 PM

Subject: RE:

( ) homeschool

Taken from my 'original posting:' Remember, I home school

one, public school two; I would do both all over again, and my home schooler

will NEVER go back to public school!! He has made that very clear.

I said I would never home school him either but I was open minded to all the

myths.

Ruthie Dolezal

I STILL have have two in public schools, so you are lucky to have a great

school: you really are; I don't think I was over reacting but I WAS YOU a few

years ago (before I even knew it was aspergers---saying I WOULD NEVER HOME

SCHOOL and here I am; We are NOT a pro-home-school group as far as I know; we

are a pro-kids group and seems a bunch of us just since we joine about 6 months

ago now have had to pull kids and start home schooling; so, if you are newer,

you have probably missed out on our journeys; If you knew me personally, you

would now that I was not trying to sound harsh but I am sure it may have come

across that way; YOU ARE LUCKY and an exception to have a school actually

MEETING your child's needs.

Additionally, we were told to move and go to school where we are now too, and

are SOOOOO angry that we are moving to a new district; we cannot believe they

have failed us and our children this way; we heard soooo many wonderful things

about them because it was time for US to need services; so, it was not as good

as we were told; quite and contrary actually.

Have a great day; and know that home school and public are not the onlly ways;

but there are LOTS of ways and I / we firmly believe the biggest thing is that

we all maintain the RIGHTS (without government telling us no) that we can do

whatever to ensure OUR CHILDREN have the education they deserve and learn how

they can no matter their abilities and / or lack thereof; everyone HAS that

right; in Iowa, we are battling again to keep the rights to home school; it is

always a 'battle' when you have special kids (or for most of us it is); if you

are the exception, that is WONDERFUL!!! Good luck, and thanks for

sharing;k have a great day, and keep sharing your opinions.....just know that

NEVER may not always be NEVER and do what is best at all times for the child;

in junior high, teachers want our children to change for high school and do

things they cannot do; so it creates mental health issues (often) for a lot of

us; and mix 'it' with puberty, and fun we all have (NOT!).......

Ruthie Dolezal

From: ritterpusch@...

Date: Sat, 9 Feb 2008 19:15:31 -0600

Subject: Re: ( ) homeschool

You

are overreacting a good bit on this one, I believe, as I said up front that I

was trying to give examples of the negative side of homeschooling since there

were so many positive examples. I mentioned two families whose homeschooled

kids have poor social skills even with doing some sports, but I also mentioned

a family with homeschooled kids who had excellent social skills. Knowing

all of the kids and knowing what I do about special needs in general from our

own experiences, I would make the unofficial guess that the kids are nice,

middle of the road, average kids - average weight, average height, average

intelligence, average illnesses, average behaviors, average times for reaching

milestones physically, emotionally, and linguistically. We're talking

pretty average kids!

When

we investigated our school district, we specifically asked questions about

special needs and learning disability education since my husband had been

diagnosed with dyslexia as a child. I would be pretty disappointed in

myself if we had horrible schooling for our son with AS after doing that

research myself. I am also really confident that my son will be fine in

school for the duration of his public education because there are only two

schools in our district - the elementary for JK - 6 and the middle/high school

for 7 - 12, and my son's grade will have only about 40 kids in it, so problems

will be limited simply because there aren't that many kids. Not to say

that there won't be problems, but there just won't be as many opportunities for

trouble. Not to mention that all of the kids we've ever met (heck, any of

the people we've met in our entire zip code of 3,000 people) don't give a

damn if you have disabilities - you're a neighbor and that's

good enough for them, and they're always there to lend a helping hand.

Even the horse 4-H contact person in our county is the Special Education

teacher at a school 30 minutes away from us.

Homeschooling

is not for everyone, nor is public school for everyone. I was trying to

give an alternate viewpoint. We are in a situation where we will have not

only a good education but a great life experience with the school system, and I

am glad. There are a lot of negative things spewed on this list

about public schools, and I'm going to stand up and say that some public

schools are fabulous!!!!

-----

Original Message -----

From: BRYAN DOLEZAL

Sent: Friday, February 08,

2008 9:14 PM

Subject: Re:

( ) homeschool

I MUST address this one; FIRST---your son will get

great therapy at SCHOOL---AMEN to that---you have that at school?

WOW---you better consider yourself lucky but please know you are a very small

percentage that is getting services like that; most of us with Asperger's kids

are fighting and getting little to nothing, so you are rare.

Secondly, we were told to move where we live for our

wonderful school system, so we moved 3 plus hours one way away to be here; it

STINKS here, and they have nothing but failed my special needs students; in

fact, my 8th grader was still doing 4th grade work when we pulled him in

October 2007; thanks to us and tutoring, we are bringing him back to 8th grade

level on must subjects now but WONDERFUL SCHOOL has failed him (AND US) and

cost us thousands.

And, you home school analyses: while those are two

extremes, and I know they probably exist, this SOCIALIZATION stuff is a

'myth.' And, how does someone know that there is not any special needs

involved for sure? I meet people all the time that still deny the

existence of issues in their home / family. Beyond that, I have always

taught proper language and pronunciation in my home, daycare, etc.

HOWEVER, to say SCHOOL will FIX that is ridiculous in my opinion; our schools

are NOT even correcting SPELLING, pronunciation, etc. AT ALL TODAY---look at

all the people now using DON'T / DOES, double negatives, OF-TEN instead of the

correct way of Off-en, etc.; teachers in public school NEVER correct these

kids; we have been appauled with how that goes. And, when I question why

my son still at school use all this misspelled words, it is phonetic, writing,

and putting it on paper; that bugs us to death; if NOT corrected, how will they

ever learn to spell it correctly? My 8th grader now home schooling has

the answers in his writing; they DON'T; they continue it, and wish someone

corrected them earlier, as they don't know the right spelling; good 'ol public

school.....

To say you will NEVER home school is simply fine FOR YOUR

CHILD if that works; however, IN JUNIOR HIGH, it IS often necessary to do

something else especially with Asperger's children; if YOUR SCHOOL IS SOOOOO

WONDERFUL YOU ARE LUCKY AND AN EXCEPTION BY ALL MEANS----it is RARE; our kids

are not lonely and wishing for socialization--- they could CARE A LESS

ABOUT SOCIALIZATION---in fact, they would love it if they could be home bodies

in their rooms and own spaces; we MAKE them participate and be social. We

work HARD to get everything outside of their bedroom and comfort level that we

can and meltdown free!! Those are miracle moments, in our opinions.

I just wanted to make sure that you know you are

addressing the biggest misconception and MYTH possible about home schoolers and

that is SOCIALIZATION. If you go out to eat, church, grocery

shopping, etc.; you socialized....if you are in your yard playing, you may have

chances to socialize; if the kids don't know you, don't feel comfortable with

you, have been told NOT to talk to you unless parents around, or whatever the

situation, that should NOT lead someone to jump to such conclusions; not all

PEOPLE ADULTS INCLUDED ARE SOCIAL--friendly--and whooped up about talking to

everyone; I know my kids would just soon not (two are aspies)----if a person is

SHY (for real) now they are 'non-social?' I just want to make sure this

is made clear it is a myth.

Remember, I home school one, public school two; I would do

both all over again, and my home schooler will NEVER go back to public

school!! He has made that very clear. I said I would never home

school him either but I was open minded to all the myths.

Ruthie Dolezal

-----

Original Message -----

From: Adam

& Meg Ritterpusch

Sent: Friday, February 08,

2008 10:38 AM

Subject: Re:

( ) homeschool

I

have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and

I'm going to offer some of the flip side.

I

have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and

the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does

soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their

talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't

getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that

potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the

kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in

the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether,

including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same

time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled

by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all

polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as

sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids

academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities,

always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have

mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average

homeschooled kid.

Your

question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night,

and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going

to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even

though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we

don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our

school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be

able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of

concern for him.

That

said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no

children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we

could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my

husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community

libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and

asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers

and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school

districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those

school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By

the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is

paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our

situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language

courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer

its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations

- the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which

means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids

their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two

neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W

satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take

a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology

or computer courses if they wish.

Find

out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be

jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels

alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then

doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will

you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your

back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates

school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of

regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden

and ease his worries about your son's socialization.

Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am

going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've

heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool.

My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks

our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has

him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My

son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets

me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego

Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the

" social aspect " he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any

thoughts?

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them fast with Search.

February 11, 2008

I don't know about the "same level of needs" probably less than some and more than others. It would've been much easier to have a bus pick my son up for school each morning but I chose to drive him there and drop him off. I would think people who have the time to homeschool could have the time to drive and drop their children off at school personally? Makes sense to me. I'd rather drive all over the place (which I did for a couple of years) than put Dylan in a bad situation on a bus.

( ) Re: homeschool

> I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who >already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about >it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of >public school...I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does >more harm than good. Any thoughts?>>> >>>>>I have to agree on you about this as my hubby keeps saying that I cant homeschool our 12 yr old son because our son doesn't listen to us now since he is in public school why would he listen if he is home all day? I told him our son would not be under as much stress if he were home and hubby said "well thats life and are you going to

be around all his life so he doesn't have to do anything in the real world?" GRRRRMarj

February 12, 2008

Hello , Even the smallest schools in rural areas, still have their problems. My AS son goes to a great school. It's working for us because I have awesome !! doctors that will communicate with the school with concerns I have with my son. I communicate and document everything as well. Our school will quickly say, "I don't see it" when ever I express a concern with my sons "way of learning' and I will say to them, I don't expect you to see it because your not a specialist in autism and you don't know what to look for, 'to see it'. after several phone calls to his doctor, they all come up with a strategy that works, and my son then progress. So, it takes a lot, including money as well, to get to the point where I can say he goes to a good school. They do care, and want to do their best with my son, but they don't understand autism (even though they think they do. And, they thought they cured

him of autism) because they came up with strategies that are working, and my son is progressing. His doctors had to explain to them that no one has a cure for autism, he's still autistic !!. I had to also explain his weak areas in social skills, because it looks like he was playing with other kids, but when I explained what was going on, they found out my son was being teased by the other kids and he (my son) didn't even know this. And- my son has only 18 kids in his class. Another parent was so grateful that the school told her/ her son doesn't have autism any more, that they will change his classification from autism to OHI !!!. instead of getting doctors involved and helping her son stay classified and continue services, she was so glad to hear, he is all better?? (her son still needs these services) IMO - I think the higher functioning children have it the hardest.. because they don't look different, but yet, there is

something 'different' about them then the average child, that the N.T. child can pick up on. and also have fun teasing them. My kids both go to public school. but, we also had to move to change the school district my son was in because the first school didn't want to help him at all, the kids were mean to my son, and he wasn't able to tell me, would forget by the time he got home. I knew something happened when I saw a slap mark on his face.., they wouldn't communicate with his doctors either. I knew that was a losing battle. If I didn't move and find this school, I would be homeschooling too. I totally respect the parents that decided to homeschool their children. I also believe, that a parent that takes their child out from public school to home school was at their last hope for success in the public schools with their special needs child. My point of this whole e-mail is, sometimes it does look

like everything is going so well in school, and the schools are great at making you believe everthing is going well even when you think differently. and when you bring up concerns, they are good at saying they don't see this in school, everything is going well. Until, you document everything and put them in the spot light. then you will see how quickly their bubbly smiles come off their faces and have to work on different strategies. I have one teacher in this small school district, that will now go out of her way to avoid me. because she was wrong ! My son is still autistic. everything goes well, until you can prove otherwise, and you are willing to stand up for what you believe in..which is time consuming and expensive ! Some parents chose to put that energy into homeschooling instead of all the stress of fighting a losing, long, long, battle with the public school system. sorry this is so long, but sometimes

just because we don't see problems, doesn't mean they don't exist. our children can't tell us everything. RoseAdam & Meg Ritterpusch <ritterpusch@...> wrote: You are overreacting a good bit on this one, I believe, as I said up front that I was trying to give examples of the negative side of homeschooling since there were so many positive examples. I mentioned two families whose homeschooled kids have poor social skills even with doing some sports, but I also mentioned a family

with homeschooled kids who had excellent social skills. Knowing all of the kids and knowing what I do about special needs in general from our own experiences, I would make the unofficial guess that the kids are nice, middle of the road, average kids - average weight, average height, average intelligence, average illnesses, average behaviors, average times for reaching milestones physically, emotionally, and linguistically. We're talking pretty average kids! When we investigated our school district, we specifically asked questions about special needs and learning disability education since my husband had been diagnosed with dyslexia as a child. I would be pretty disappointed in myself if we had horrible schooling for our son with AS after doing that research myself. I am also really confident that my son will be fine in school for the duration of his public

education because there are only two schools in our district - the elementary for JK - 6 and the middle/high school for 7 - 12, and my son's grade will have only about 40 kids in it, so problems will be limited simply because there aren't that many kids. Not to say that there won't be problems, but there just won't be as many opportunities for trouble. Not to mention that all of the kids we've ever met (heck, any of the people we've met in our entire zip code of 3,000 people) don't give a damn if you have disabilities - you're a neighbor and that's good enough for them, and they're always there to lend a helping hand. Even the horse 4-H contact person in our county is the Special Education teacher at a school 30 minutes away from us. Homeschooling is not for everyone, nor is public school for everyone. I was trying to give an

alternate viewpoint. We are in a situation where we will have not only a good education but a great life experience with the school system, and I am glad. There are a lot of negative things spewed on this list about public schools, and I'm going to stand up and say that some public schools are fabulous!!!! Re: ( ) homeschool I have

seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side. I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had

also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid. Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also

get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him. That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was

four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish. Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school,

as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization. Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it.

I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

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February 12, 2008

Thank you, Rose. That was perfect. RobinRose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: Hello , Even the smallest schools in rural areas, still have their problems. My AS son goes to a great school. It's working for us because I have awesome !! doctors that will communicate with the school with concerns I have with my son. I communicate and document everything as well. Our school will quickly say, "I don't see it" when ever I express a concern with my sons "way of learning'

and I will say to them, I don't expect you to see it because your not a specialist in autism and you don't know what to look for, 'to see it'. after several phone calls to his doctor, they all come up with a strategy that works, and my son then progress. So, it takes a lot, including money as well, to get to the point where I can say he goes to a good school. They do care, and want to do their best with my son, but they don't understand autism (even though they think they do. And, they thought they cured him of autism) because they came up with strategies that are working, and my son is progressing. His doctors had to explain to them that no one has a cure for autism, he's still autistic !!. I had to also explain his weak areas in social skills, because it looks like he was playing with other kids, but when I explained what was going on, they found out my son was being teased by the other kids and he (my son) didn't even

know this. And- my son has only 18 kids in his class. Another parent was so grateful that the school told her/ her son doesn't have autism any more, that they will change his classification from autism to OHI !!!. instead of getting doctors involved and helping her son stay classified and continue services, she was so glad to hear, he is all better?? (her son still needs these services) IMO - I think the higher functioning children have it the hardest.. because they don't look different, but yet, there is something 'different' about them then the average child, that the N.T. child can pick up on. and also have fun teasing them. My kids both go to public school. but, we also had to move to change the school district my son was in because the first school didn't want to help him at all, the kids were mean to my son, and he wasn't able to tell me, would forget by the time he got home. I knew something happened when I saw a

slap mark on his face.., they wouldn't communicate with his doctors either. I knew that was a losing battle. If I didn't move and find this school, I would be homeschooling too. I totally respect the parents that decided to homeschool their children. I also believe, that a parent that takes their child out from public school to home school was at their last hope for success in the public schools with their special needs child. My point of this whole e-mail is, sometimes it does look like everything is going so well in school, and the schools are great at making you believe everthing is going well even when you think differently. and when you bring up concerns, they are good at saying they don't see this in school, everything is going well. Until, you document everything and put them in the spot light. then you will see how quickly their bubbly smiles come off their faces and have to work on

different strategies. I have one teacher in this small school district, that will now go out of her way to avoid me. because she was wrong ! My son is still autistic. everything goes well, until you can prove otherwise, and you are willing to stand up for what you believe in..which is time consuming and expensive ! Some parents chose to put that energy into homeschooling instead of all the stress of fighting a losing, long, long, battle with the public school system. sorry this is so long, but sometimes just because we don't see problems, doesn't mean they don't exist. our children can't tell us everything. RoseAdam & Meg Ritterpusch <ritterpuschcltcomm (DOT) net> wrote: You are overreacting a good bit on this one, I believe, as I said up front that I

was trying to give examples of the negative side of homeschooling since there were so many positive examples. I mentioned two families whose homeschooled kids have poor social skills even with doing some sports, but I also mentioned a family with homeschooled kids who had excellent social skills. Knowing all of the kids and knowing what I do about special needs in general from our own experiences, I would make the unofficial guess that the kids are nice, middle of the road, average kids - average weight, average height, average intelligence, average illnesses, average behaviors, average times for reaching milestones physically, emotionally, and linguistically. We're talking pretty average kids! When we investigated our school district, we specifically asked questions about special needs and learning disability education since my husband had been diagnosed with

dyslexia as a child. I would be pretty disappointed in myself if we had horrible schooling for our son with AS after doing that research myself. I am also really confident that my son will be fine in school for the duration of his public education because there are only two schools in our district - the elementary for JK - 6 and the middle/high school for 7 - 12, and my son's grade will have only about 40 kids in it, so problems will be limited simply because there aren't that many kids. Not to say that there won't be problems, but there just won't be as many opportunities for trouble. Not to mention that all of the kids we've ever met (heck, any of the people we've met in our entire zip code of 3,000 people) don't give a damn if you have disabilities - you're a neighbor and that's good enough for them, and they're always there to lend a helping hand. Even the horse 4-H contact person in our county is the Special Education

teacher at a school 30 minutes away from us. Homeschooling is not for everyone, nor is public school for everyone. I was trying to give an alternate viewpoint. We are in a situation where we will have not only a good education but a great life experience with the school system, and I am glad. There are a lot of negative things spewed on this list about public schools, and I'm going to stand up and say that some public schools are fabulous!!!! Re: ( ) homeschool I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side. I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the

other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid. Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and

will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him. That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school

newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two

not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish. Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization. Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts? Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

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February 12, 2008

. Thank you for your post....really. I'm so glad you made it through that terribly scary, life-changing time. I had tears in my eyes before I got to your "tesitmonial",,,,,,,and your post was amazing. *** FIlling the balloon is an awesome description. Absolutely perfect. For adults and kids, alike. *** I remember telling Ian's teachers, as well, that I wished they could see how he was when he wasnt' in school or "de-escalating" FROM school..........they always looked shocked that he wasn't the way they saw him ALL the time. Oh well. *** Thanks again, . Your post was a great way to start the day. Robin MacAllister <smacalli@...> wrote: Hang in there, . Second grade was so hard for us. His teacher was an "old school" teacher and Dylan attended an upper-class elementary and we had problems for sure. One thing I used to tell Dylan when he got home was that we were his family and here to make things better. I blew up a balloon and showed it to him and said "This is you in the morning" and then slowly let out air until it was almost completely deflated and say "this is you when you get home from

school. Now this is what the love of your family does" and reinflate the balloon. I wanted him to see the visual of his family and what we could do for him. Then I'd just love him the most that I could. I tried to set time aside each night to play Uno, just the two of us, because he loved it. We also used a special brush to "brush" his arms and legs (something an OT told us to do when he was younger.) I probably got a phone call from the school 2 times a week, sometimes more. It was so frustrating. Then the summertime came and things were better. Then third grade started and things were kind of bad again, but then we switched schools because we moved. The rest of the year was okay, with me having a lot of communication with his new teachers. One was pretty good, the other not so much. But then we got 4th grade. Wow. Mrs. was his teacher and talk about phenomenal! I've

found the teachers that worked best for Dylan were the more introverted ones. Not real flashy and "out there" with enthusiasm. Maybe the more mellow approach was easier for Dylan to digest? All I can say is keep your chin up. You know your daughter is a special girl, even if they can't see it right now. I always told the teachers in 2nd and 3rd grades that I wished they could see my son in a different setting b/c they would see him for who he really is. That was probably the most heartbreaking part. But hey, when it's that bad, there isn't a whole lot of places to go but

up, huh? It probably isn't a coincidence that I was told towards the end of his 2nd grade year that I had a bleeding brain tumor and I thought I was going to die for a few months. I had a bunch of tests and went through the hardest period of my life. But I got a second opinion prior to brain surgery and then went to MD Cancer Center for a third opinion! Long story short, I'm fine, but for my life was forever changed. I really thought I was going to die and it gave me a very different perspective on life. I try not to sweat the small stuff. And as much as the school situation is tough, it's not the end-all-be-all. School doesn't last forever! On those really hard days, hold your baby girl close and be grateful you are able to! We take SO MUCH for granted sometimes. It's very, very easy to do when your child is struggling. But it could be so much worse. So make an effort to tell your

daughter, every day, at least one thing you like about her. And "fill up her balloon" as much as possible on the evenings and weekends. Try to focus on all of the good things in both of your lives. It will get better! ( ) Re: homeschool > I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who >already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about >it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of >public school...I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does >more harm than good. Any thoughts?>>> >>>>>I have to agree on you about this as my hubby keeps saying that I cant homeschool our 12 yr old son because our son doesn't listen to us now since he is in

public school why would he listen if he is home all day? I told him our son would not be under as much stress if he were home and hubby said "well thats life and are you going to be around all his life so he doesn't have to do anything in the real world?" GRRRRMarj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

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February 12, 2008

Our school district tapes the meetings and shows them all month long on their access channel. So I can usually watch them from home.

Did someone assume that because we had a bad experience at our schools that we didn't vote or volunteer?

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I vote in every school board election. (My school district, by the way, is HUGE.) I volunteered in my ds's classes, I was in touch with his program counselors and teachers and administrators all the time, especially in high school. The problem was that THE PROGRAM DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM. They all admitted it, too. They were wonderful people, who were committed to providing excellent special ed services, don't get me wrong. I have the utmost respect for these people and this program. It just wasn't right for ds. They DIDN'T HAVE something that was right for him, not in high school.

Just wait, on the PTA front. I won't get into the PTA. There's them that likes it, and there's them that don't. Everywhere I've lived, PTA has been involved with fundraising, and that's about it. If I am involved in one more gift wrapping drive, I will go stark raving mad. I feel that I can make more of a contribution by volunteering in the classroom with ESL (English as a Second Language) students or with the writing program. What can I say? I've been through two school districts with two non-typical children. I'm an old grouch by now.

Liz

On Feb 11, 2008, at 12:45 PM, Adam & Meg Ritterpusch wrote:

,

I work with a woman whose daughter is graduating from our school district this year, and her daughter has panic disorder. She has great things to say about how the school district has treated her daughter. My neighbor a mile down the road raised six kids in this school district with the youngest graduating last year, and she said that the school district was great for her kids, even the one who started late because of delays from birth issues (born without part of her trachea, premature, etc.) and the one who is dyslexic. Our community's librarian has a niece who had a lot of trouble with speech (sounds like she had speech apraxia, but Cricket didn't say) and who is a sophomore in our high school and doing great. The county's 4-H leader who is a Special Education teacher at another school in the county (the middle school) has told me that she really likes the programs at our school and thinks that our son will do well here. The director of the Birth to Three program (again county run not related to our school) really likes the teaching, classes, and administration for our school district - we flat out asked her if we were in the best school for our son in the area or should consider another school district, and she said that the one we are in is fantastic. I am basing my confidence on a lot of opinions and experiences from a lot of other people plus the knowledge that we have started out well.

For all of you who hate how your schools are run, do you know who is on your school board? Do you vote in elections so that you can get better board members? Have you been involved with PTA? If you don't like how something is run, this country does allow for you to do something about it.

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February 12, 2008

Roxanna, I thought that meetings are confidential? Our school doesn't even want a parent and teacher talking in the hallways about our children.Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: Our school district tapes the meetings and shows them all month long on their access channel. So I can usually watch them from home. Did someone assume that because we

had a bad experience at our schools that we didn't vote or volunteer? RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) homeschool I vote in every school board election. (My school district, by the way, is HUGE.) I volunteered in my ds's classes, I was in touch with his program counselors and teachers and administrators all the time, especially in high school. The problem was that THE PROGRAM DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM. They all admitted it, too. They were wonderful people, who were committed to providing excellent special ed

services, don't get me wrong. I have the utmost respect for these people and this program. It just wasn't right for ds. They DIDN'T HAVE something that was right for him, not in high school. Just wait, on the PTA front. I won't get into the PTA. There's them that likes it, and there's them that don't. Everywhere I've lived, PTA has been involved with fundraising, and that's about it. If I am involved in one more gift wrapping drive, I will go stark raving mad. I feel that I can make more of a contribution by volunteering in the classroom with ESL (English as a Second Language) students or with the writing program. What can I say? I've been through two school districts with two non-typical children. I'm an old grouch by now. Liz On Feb 11, 2008, at 12:45 PM, Adam & Meg Ritterpusch wrote: , I work with a woman whose daughter is graduating from our school district this year, and her daughter has panic disorder. She has great things to say about how the school district has treated her daughter. My neighbor a mile down the road raised six kids in this school district with the youngest

graduating last year, and she said that the school district was great for her kids, even the one who started late because of delays from birth issues (born without part of her trachea, premature, etc.) and the one who is dyslexic. Our community's librarian has a niece who had a lot of trouble with speech (sounds like she had speech apraxia, but Cricket didn't say) and who is a sophomore in our high school and doing great. The county's 4-H leader who is a Special Education teacher at another school in the county (the middle school) has told me that she really likes the programs at our school and thinks that our son will do well here. The director of the Birth to Three program (again county run not related to our school) really likes the teaching, classes, and administration for our school district - we flat out asked her if we were in the best school for our son in the area or should consider another school district, and she said that the one we are

in is fantastic. I am basing my confidence on a lot of opinions and experiences from a lot of other people plus the knowledge that we have started out well. For all of you who hate how your schools are run, do you know who is on your school board? Do you vote in elections so that you can get better board members? Have you been involved with PTA? If you don't like how something is run, this country does allow for you to do something about it. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

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February 12, 2008

Liz, My N.T. daughter used to do this thing - like - when I was in a hurry and wanted her to do something fast, she would walk in extreme slow motion, just to get me upset. ha ! She knew that button to push and she pushed it many times - until - the day came, that she was invited to a party and it was getting close to the time to leave. and she said mommy, its time to go !, and I did that slow walk !!! hahahahah Well, when my AS son tried testing me with his mouth. something like you described. and I would say to him, not to speak to me like that or not to use that bad language. he still tried testing me every now and then. in spite that I told him, I don't like bad language. well, on Sunday, when it was time for his religion class, I told him I wanted to walk him to class and ask his religion teacher what she thought of his new language, and give a few examples. he was

mortified. I said, would you use that language here? he said no, I said, don't use it at home, or we will both see you religion teacher and see what she thinks. That quiet his bad language testing for now. (he loves his religion class). I agree, all kids should be respectful, AS or N.T. I am also respectful with them, to set the example. As far as holding an AS child back?, expecting too little of you AS child can be sometime challenging, because with mine, there is the safety concern. He doesn't make good choices when needed, with life skills and social skills even in the community. its almost like taking a chance. But with somethings, letting him do more, independently when safety isn't a concern. I'm all for it. RoseLiz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote: I just want to say, be careful about expecting too little of your AS children. I am speaking as one who has probably expected too little of her AS son, and is regretting it now. My son is extremely bright and there is no reason he shouldn't be helping out around the house and treating people respectfully. I've stopped accepting bad behavior. Last week, in the car, ds called me a b**ch for making him come grocery shopping with me. I stopped the car, told him in no uncertain terms that I don't have to put up with abusive behavior, verbally or otherwise, and that if he wants to continue living here, he'd better be prepared to obey the family rules and be prepared to help

out. He sulkily said that I'd be sorry to see him starve to death if I forced him to move out. I told him that if he moved out, I would still support him financially, and I would make sure he was well taken care of, and that it was up to him whether he continued to live here or not. He has been delightful ever since -- very helpful. Liz On Feb 11, 2008, at 8:50 PM, BRYAN DOLEZAL wrote: Thanks, ...And, sorry if you feel it was uncalled for ; I did not mean to offend anyone but reality is, I did mean it; I DO WORRY for that child; WHILE it is great that they have high hopes for their child, as do we all, they have got to be realistic. I, personally, have my NT 5 year old doing some things more, responsibly, etc., than my AS 14 year old,

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February 12, 2008

No, meetings should be open to the public. If they have private business to conduct, they go into closed session. But the regular decisions and meeting information is open to the public.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I vote in every school board election. (My school district, by the way, is HUGE.) I volunteered in my ds's classes, I was in touch with his program counselors and teachers and administrators all the time, especially in high school. The problem was that THE PROGRAM DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM. They all admitted it, too. They were wonderful people, who were committed to providing excellent special ed services, don't get me wrong. I have the utmost respect for these people and this program. It just wasn't right for ds. They DIDN'T HAVE something that was right for him, not in high school.

Just wait, on the PTA front. I won't get into the PTA. There's them that likes it, and there's them that don't. Everywhere I've lived, PTA has been involved with fundraising, and that's about it. If I am involved in one more gift wrapping drive, I will go stark raving mad. I feel that I can make more of a contribution by volunteering in the classroom with ESL (English as a Second Language) students or with the writing program. What can I say? I've been through two school districts with two non-typical children. I'm an old grouch by now.

Liz

On Feb 11, 2008, at 12:45 PM, Adam & Meg Ritterpusch wrote:

,

I work with a woman whose daughter is graduating from our school district this year, and her daughter has panic disorder. She has great things to say about how the school district has treated her daughter. My neighbor a mile down the road raised six kids in this school district with the youngest graduating last year, and she said that the school district was great for her kids, even the one who started late because of delays from birth issues (born without part of her trachea, premature, etc.) and the one who is dyslexic. Our community's librarian has a niece who had a lot of trouble with speech (sounds like she had speech apraxia, but Cricket didn't say) and who is a sophomore in our high school and doing great. The county's 4-H leader who is a Special Education teacher at another school in the county (the middle school) has told me that she really likes the programs at our school and thinks that our son will do well here. The director of the Birth to Three program (again county run not related to our school) really likes the teaching, classes, and administration for our school district - we flat out asked her if we were in the best school for our son in the area or should consider another school district, and she said that the one we are in is fantastic. I am basing my confidence on a lot of opinions and experiences from a lot of other people plus the knowledge that we have started out well.

For all of you who hate how your schools are run, do you know who is on your school board? Do you vote in elections so that you can get better board members? Have you been involved with PTA? If you don't like how something is run, this country does allow for you to do something about it.

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February 12, 2008

Check out the end (beginning post) of this email. It was from . RobinRoxanna <madideas@...> wrote: Our school district tapes the meetings and shows them all month long on their access channel. So I can usually watch them from home. Did someone assume that because we had a bad experience at our schools that we

didn't vote or volunteer? RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) homeschool I vote in every school board election. (My school district, by the way, is HUGE.) I volunteered in my ds's classes, I was in touch with his program counselors and teachers and administrators all the time, especially in high school. The problem was that THE PROGRAM DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM. They all admitted it, too. They were wonderful people, who were committed to providing excellent special ed services, don't get me wrong. I have the utmost

respect for these people and this program. It just wasn't right for ds. They DIDN'T HAVE something that was right for him, not in high school. Just wait, on the PTA front. I won't get into the PTA. There's them that likes it, and there's them that don't. Everywhere I've lived, PTA has been involved with fundraising, and that's about it. If I am involved in one more gift wrapping drive, I will go stark raving mad. I feel that I can make more of a contribution by volunteering in the classroom with ESL (English as a Second Language) students or with the writing program. What can I say? I've been through two school districts with two non-typical children. I'm an old grouch by now. Liz On Feb 11, 2008, at 12:45 PM, Adam & Meg Ritterpusch wrote: , I work with a woman whose daughter is graduating from our school district this year, and her daughter has panic disorder. She has great things to say about how the school district has treated her daughter. My neighbor a mile down the road raised six kids in this school district with the youngest graduating last year, and she said that the school district was

great for her kids, even the one who started late because of delays from birth issues (born without part of her trachea, premature, etc.) and the one who is dyslexic. Our community's librarian has a niece who had a lot of trouble with speech (sounds like she had speech apraxia, but Cricket didn't say) and who is a sophomore in our high school and doing great. The county's 4-H leader who is a Special Education teacher at another school in the county (the middle school) has told me that she really likes the programs at our school and thinks that our son will do well here. The director of the Birth to Three program (again county run not related to our school) really likes the teaching, classes, and administration for our school district - we flat out asked her if we were in the best school for our son in the area or should consider another school district, and she said that the one we are in is fantastic. I am basing my confidence on a lot of

opinions and experiences from a lot of other people plus the knowledge that we have started out well. For all of you who hate how your schools are run, do you know who is on your school board? Do you vote in elections so that you can get better board members? Have you been involved with PTA? If you don't like how something is run, this country does allow for you to do something about it. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast

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February 12, 2008

responding to last paragraph on the end of this post.. I think we all are doing something about it, its trying to get them to listen and educate them on autism and all the expense that's involved that's causing the problem. And, theres not that many kids with families in our school with special needs that can support each other on this. so, its hard for one person to do this alone. the ones that have special needs - some don't have the advocates to help them fight, so they don't., some are OK with anything the school says because they don't want their child sent to a different school that their child doesn't belong in. and, there are the one or two that speak up, but better have documents, doctors and other supports to help, a lawyer doesn't hurt either. and you know what, sometime, with some schools, and I can name one, its just best to pull the child out ! and move, like I did on a very tight

budget. and there are some that don't even have a tight budget to move. so homeschool is their next best choice. IMO, just because a person votes, that doesn't change the school system, or school would be just perfect for everyone. Maybe I'm missing something here, I'm kind of tired so I'm taking a break for now. *smile*. and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: Check out the end (beginning post) of this email. It was from . RobinRoxanna

<madideaszoominternet (DOT) net> wrote: Our school district tapes the meetings and shows them all month long on their access channel. So I can usually watch them from home. Did someone assume that because we had a bad experience at our schools that we didn't vote or volunteer? RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) homeschool I vote in every school board election. (My school district, by the way, is HUGE.) I volunteered in my ds's classes, I was in touch with his program counselors and teachers and administrators all the time, especially in high school. The problem was that THE PROGRAM DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM. They all admitted it, too. They were wonderful people, who were committed to providing excellent special ed services, don't get me wrong. I have the utmost respect for these people and this program. It just wasn't right for ds. They DIDN'T HAVE something that was right for him, not in high school. Just wait, on the PTA front. I won't get into the PTA. There's them that likes it, and there's them that don't. Everywhere I've lived, PTA has been involved with fundraising, and that's about it. If I am involved in one more gift wrapping

drive, I will go stark raving mad. I feel that I can make more of a contribution by volunteering in the classroom with ESL (English as a Second Language) students or with the writing program. What can I say? I've been through two school districts with two non-typical children. I'm an old grouch by now. Liz On Feb 11, 2008, at 12:45 PM, Adam & Meg Ritterpusch wrote: , I work with a woman whose daughter is graduating from our school district this year, and her daughter has panic disorder. She has great things to say about how the school district has treated her daughter. My neighbor a mile down the road raised six kids in this school district with the youngest graduating last year, and she said that the school district was great for her kids, even the one who started late because of delays from birth issues (born without part of her trachea, premature, etc.) and the one who is dyslexic. Our community's librarian has a niece who had a lot of trouble with speech (sounds like she had speech apraxia, but Cricket didn't say) and who is a sophomore in our high school and doing great. The county's 4-H leader who is a Special Education teacher at another

school in the county (the middle school) has told me that she really likes the programs at our school and thinks that our son will do well here. The director of the Birth to Three program (again county run not related to our school) really likes the teaching, classes, and administration for our school district - we flat out asked her if we were in the best school for our son in the area or should consider another school district, and she said that the one we are in is fantastic. I am basing my confidence on a lot of opinions and experiences from a lot of other people plus the knowledge that we have started out well. For all of you who hate how your schools are run, do you know who is on your school board? Do you vote in elections so that you can get better board members? Have you been involved with PTA? If you don't like how something is run, this

country does allow for you to do something about it. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

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February 12, 2008

Rose - School board meetings are open to the public. They discuss school business and issues, future plans, etc., but do not discuss specific students and never should mention a child by name in a meeting - this would be done in an "executive session" which is not open to the public.Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: Roxanna, I thought that meetings are confidential? Our school doesn't even want a parent and teacher talking in the hallways about our children.Roxanna <madideaszoominternet (DOT) net>

wrote: Our school district tapes the meetings and shows them all month long on their access channel. So I can usually watch them from home. Did someone assume that because we had a bad experience at our schools that we didn't vote or volunteer? RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) homeschool I vote in every

school board election. (My school district, by the way, is HUGE.) I volunteered in my ds's classes, I was in touch with his program counselors and teachers and administrators all the time, especially in high school. The problem was that THE PROGRAM DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM. They all admitted it, too. They were wonderful people, who were committed to providing excellent special ed services, don't get me wrong. I have the utmost respect for these people and this program. It just wasn't right for ds. They DIDN'T HAVE something that was right for him, not in high school. Just wait, on the PTA front. I won't get into the PTA. There's them that likes it, and there's them that don't. Everywhere I've lived, PTA has been involved with fundraising, and that's about it. If I am involved in one more gift wrapping drive, I will go stark raving mad. I feel that I can make more of a contribution by volunteering in the classroom with

ESL (English as a Second Language) students or with the writing program. What can I say? I've been through two school districts with two non-typical children. I'm an old grouch by now. Liz On Feb 11, 2008, at 12:45 PM, Adam & Meg Ritterpusch wrote: , I work with a woman whose daughter is graduating from our school district this year, and her daughter has panic disorder. She has great things to say about how the school district has treated her daughter. My neighbor a mile down the road raised six kids in this school district with the youngest graduating last year, and she said that the school district was great for her kids, even the one who started late because of delays from birth issues (born without part of her trachea, premature, etc.) and the one who is dyslexic. Our community's librarian has a niece who had a lot of trouble with speech (sounds like she had speech apraxia, but Cricket didn't say) and who is a sophomore in our high school and doing great. The county's 4-H leader who is a Special Education teacher at another school in the county (the middle school) has told me that she really likes the programs

at our school and thinks that our son will do well here. The director of the Birth to Three program (again county run not related to our school) really likes the teaching, classes, and administration for our school district - we flat out asked her if we were in the best school for our son in the area or should consider another school district, and she said that the one we are in is fantastic. I am basing my confidence on a lot of opinions and experiences from a lot of other people plus the knowledge that we have started out well. For all of you who hate how your schools are run, do you know who is on your school board? Do you vote in elections so that you can get better board members? Have you been involved with PTA? If you don't like how something is run, this country does allow for you to do something about it. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

February 12, 2008

I think I will. I usually make them bring all the stuff in and help put it away. Ugh.......I wish they feared me. Ha haRose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: now Robin, you described going to the store with my kids to the T. right from the smack and the other chasing. I think it was Roxanna that posted. if the kids don't act right when at the store, - they are taking up your shopping time. So, when they get home, give them cleaning chores on their time.

tell them, that you took up my time at the store to correct your behaviors, now I'm giving you chores to do on your time. That might not be her exact words, but something like that. I followed through with it. when we got home, one kid cleaned the dinning room, the other cleaned the family room. (I set the timers for 15 min each time, every 15 min. I checked their work) (my son, needed a list) I did the kitchen which I was going to do when I got home with the groceries. After the 2nd time of doing this, they are now doing much better in the store. Looking back, I couldn't believe how much I hated, to do shopping with them. Now, much better. I hope I don't jinx myself now. maybe you might want to try that? Rose and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs > wrote: Hee

heee.Ya know,,,,,,,it's the same with "normal" kids..... How many times have I been out with the kids? There have been times when they were so good, I just knew that I was 1 of very few women who were raising their kids the right way. I have had older women come up and say how beautiful my kids were and that they are so well-behaved. I honestly believe at those moments, that I could pop our 6 more......that's how great I am. Then,,,,,,,,,,,,,,the next time we go,,,,,,it's a disaster. Not just that they want everything they see. They honestly are bad. I am sweating from the panic I'm about to feel......for I KNOW the shit will soon hit the fan. I'm mad at myself for going to the store when I KNEW I shoudln't have. But,,,,,I went anyway. They are fighting and actually running away from the one they just smacked. Or are so "up" and happy and hyper that

there is no threatening them. I think that that may actually be worse. So......as I'm getting back to our truck with them ,,,,,,,swearing and angry......and they finally "get" that I'm about to have a heart attack........I, deep down, know that I got this trip because of how cocky I was when they were good that day.... hee hee. RobinRoxanna <madideaszoominternet (DOT) net> wrote: Most people will tell you the schools are great. Nobody is going to say the school system is not great. We chose our city/school because of the special needs services as well and some years, we were rewarded and other years, we were not. No school is great in all places at all times. You will have some years better than others. Things can

change and situations can arise out of your control. This reminds me of that McCarthy who is on every magazine cover again lately spouting off that she found a diet to cure autism in her kid. Her kid looks like he's 4 yo. I just want to say, "Lady, you have no clue what the next dozen years will hold for this kid so quit bragging so early in the game." Having a 19 yo with hfa, I just smile when people with little kids have all the answers or think the road is cleared from here on out. It's just not true. The autism gods will hear you and make you sorry you thought you had all the answers. lol. Oh yeah, learned that one. <g> RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) homeschool I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side. I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven

kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid. Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as

our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him. That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a

house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish. Find out a bit more why your son

doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization. Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am

highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts? Never

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February 12, 2008

I guess that theory that we don't get involved in our local schools is pretty silly!

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I have held many positions on my school PTA. Currently I hold positions on the local school PTA and state PTA boards. My state position is Special Education Liaison. I work to bridge PTAs and special education advisory committees, so that parents are receiving important information that they need to know. Pam

The year's hottest artists on the red carpet at the Grammy Awards. AOL Music takes you there.

February 12, 2008

My 11 yo is exactly this way. Anytime I tell him he's in trouble he says something like, "Oh, so you don't care if I die, then do you?" or something equally dramatic. Many times it has nothing to do with the conversation and is so out of proportion. all the joys...ugh.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I just want to say, be careful about expecting too little of your AS children. I am speaking as one who has probably expected too little of her AS son, and is regretting it now. My son is extremely bright and there is no reason he shouldn't be helping out around the house and treating people respectfully. I've stopped accepting bad behavior. Last week, in the car, ds called me a b**ch for making him come grocery shopping with me. I stopped the car, told him in no uncertain terms that I don't have to put up with abusive behavior, verbally or otherwise, and that if he wants to continue living here, he'd better be prepared to obey the family rules and be prepared to help out. He sulkily said that I'd be sorry to see him starve to death if I forced him to move out. I told him that if he moved out, I would still support him financially, and I would make sure he was well taken care of, and that it was up to him whether he continued to live here or not. He has been delightful ever since -- very helpful.

Liz

On Feb 11, 2008, at 8:50 PM, BRYAN DOLEZAL wrote:

Thanks, ...And, sorry if you feel it was uncalled for ; I did not mean to offend anyone but reality is, I did mean it; I DO WORRY for that child; WHILE it is great that they have high hopes for their child, as do we all, they have got to be realistic. I, personally, have my NT 5 year old doing some things more, responsibly, etc., than my AS 14 year old,

February 13, 2008

Oh this is definitely something I know for a fact! For people to get him to do work is really tough and I felt for the people who had to deal with it daily, and now I feel for me! <GG> I definitely never said my kid was easy.

One thing I did not like was if the teacher would not be open to suggestions as to how best to work with him. I mean, there are some good methods that do work with him and we've had some teachers who just refuse to even listen, let alone try them. These are common sense strategies such as chunking the work. And also, I appreciated teachers who noticed how bored he was and so they didn't make him do a lot of busy work. That is also an important piece for him. Also, I got so tired of teachers who didn't "get" the obvious - marking him wrong for problems related to his disability. Like if he answered a question literally and the teacher would act like this was so stupid of him instead of realize why he answered it like he did. I didn't mind teachers asking questions but I did mind those who took it for granted that they knew my kid.

Definitely, I agree that we should always consider the other side of things when dealing with schools. Even if you don't agree with the people, you can plan your discussion just by seeing their POV.

I think in some cases you can say that they (the school personnel) tried as hard as they could and still could not solve the problem. I have seen it is more a case of people not knowing what to do in a situation and they make it worse, refuse to admit they don't know what to do, keep trying the same things with bad results, do not bring in an appropriately trained consultant, etc. In these cases, I do blame the school/system/personnel. When the focus is solely on the child's needs, I think it works all the way around.

I do feel that our kids have special needs and that these needs are not a secret. So I do expect schools to get the basics down. Some schools don't do that or do it on paper but not in practice. There are some kids who are very extremely difficult to teach and need private specialized schools. But most kids who are not the extreme could be educated if given the appropriate services with trained staff. We've had so many people come in this forum with major traumatic situations that really started as a simple problem which was then escalated due to ignorance and stupidity. We are more apt to see these kinds of problems here.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) Re: homeschool

> I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who >already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about >it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of >public school...I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does >more harm than good. Any thoughts?>>> >>>>>I have to agree on you about this as my hubby keeps saying that I cant homeschool our 12 yr old son because our son doesn't listen to us now since he is in public school why would he listen if he is home all day? I told him our son would not be under as much stress if he were home and hubby said "well thats life and are you going to be around all his life so he doesn't have to do anything in the real world?" GRRRRMarj

February 14, 2008

I think she's really young.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I vote in every school board election. (My school district, by the way, is HUGE.) I volunteered in my ds's classes, I was in touch with his program counselors and teachers and administrators all the time, especially in high school. The problem was that THE PROGRAM DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM. They all admitted it, too. They were wonderful people, who were committed to providing excellent special ed services, don't get me wrong. I have the utmost respect for these people and this program. It just wasn't right for ds. They DIDN'T HAVE something that was right for him, not in high school.

Just wait, on the PTA front. I won't get into the PTA. There's them that likes it, and there's them that don't. Everywhere I've lived, PTA has been involved with fundraising, and that's about it. If I am involved in one more gift wrapping drive, I will go stark raving mad. I feel that I can make more of a contribution by volunteering in the classroom with ESL (English as a Second Language) students or with the writing program. What can I say? I've been through two school districts with two non-typical children. I'm an old grouch by now.

Liz

On Feb 11, 2008, at 12:45 PM, Adam & Meg Ritterpusch wrote:

,

I work with a woman whose daughter is graduating from our school district this year, and her daughter has panic disorder. She has great things to say about how the school district has treated her daughter. My neighbor a mile down the road raised six kids in this school district with the youngest graduating last year, and she said that the school district was great for her kids, even the one who started late because of delays from birth issues (born without part of her trachea, premature, etc.) and the one who is dyslexic. Our community's librarian has a niece who had a lot of trouble with speech (sounds like she had speech apraxia, but Cricket didn't say) and who is a sophomore in our high school and doing great. The county's 4-H leader who is a Special Education teacher at another school in the county (the middle school) has told me that she really likes the programs at our school and thinks that our son will do well here. The director of the Birth to Three program (again county run not related to our school) really likes the teaching, classes, and administration for our school district - we flat out asked her if we were in the best school for our son in the area or should consider another school district, and she said that the one we are in is fantastic. I am basing my confidence on a lot of opinions and experiences from a lot of other people plus the knowledge that we have started out well.

For all of you who hate how your schools are run, do you know who is on your school board? Do you vote in elections so that you can get better board members? Have you been involved with PTA? If you don't like how something is run, this country does allow for you to do something about it.

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February 14, 2008

She sounds like I did the minute I got a dx and the school seemed so helpful. Ha ha.Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: I think she's really young. RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) homeschool I vote in every school board election. (My school district, by the way, is HUGE.) I volunteered in my ds's classes, I was in touch with his program counselors and teachers and administrators all the time, especially in high

school. The problem was that THE PROGRAM DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM. They all admitted it, too. They were wonderful people, who were committed to providing excellent special ed services, don't get me wrong. I have the utmost respect for these people and this program. It just wasn't right for ds. They DIDN'T HAVE something that was right for him, not in high school. Just wait, on the PTA front. I won't get into the PTA. There's them that likes it, and there's them that don't. Everywhere I've lived, PTA has been involved with fundraising, and that's about it. If I am involved in one more gift wrapping drive, I will go stark raving mad. I feel that I can make more of a contribution by volunteering in the classroom with ESL (English as a Second Language) students or with the writing program. What can I say? I've been through two school districts with two non-typical children. I'm an old grouch by now. Liz On Feb 11, 2008, at 12:45 PM, Adam & Meg Ritterpusch wrote: , I work with a woman whose daughter is graduating from our school district this year, and her daughter has panic disorder. She has great things to say

about how the school district has treated her daughter. My neighbor a mile down the road raised six kids in this school district with the youngest graduating last year, and she said that the school district was great for her kids, even the one who started late because of delays from birth issues (born without part of her trachea, premature, etc.) and the one who is dyslexic. Our community's librarian has a niece who had a lot of trouble with speech (sounds like she had speech apraxia, but Cricket didn't say) and who is a sophomore in our high school and doing great. The county's 4-H leader who is a Special Education teacher at another school in the county (the middle school) has told me that she really likes the programs at our school and thinks that our son will do well here. The director of the Birth to Three program (again county run not related to our school) really likes the teaching, classes, and administration for our school district -

we flat out asked her if we were in the best school for our son in the area or should consider another school district, and she said that the one we are in is fantastic. I am basing my confidence on a lot of opinions and experiences from a lot of other people plus the knowledge that we have started out well. For all of you who hate how your schools are run, do you know who is on your school board? Do you vote in elections so that you can get better board members? Have you been involved with PTA? If you don't like how something is run, this country does allow for you to do something about it. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

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February 14, 2008

Thanks for the pep talk. The school gives us daily list of assignments to get done. But I don't like it that way so we have combined things together. Instead of doing 30 minutes of Social studies each day, we do SS on Wednesday. We do about 10 days worth in one morning usually. I divided everything up so we could spread out the stuff he hates in between the things he likes. There are just some times that he gets an attitude.

The other day, he was mad at me and that is why he wouldn't do any school work. Long story short, the kids down the street were being nasty to him and he came home crying. Then the next day, he wanted to go back for more and I said "no." This became an obsession for him (So you won't ever let me go play ever again? and on and on and on...) He decided to snub me and not do his work as my punishment. It took a day and a half to get him to realize this school work is not MINE. It's all his. I guess he feels sometimes like I am the one doing all this school stuff "TO" him instead of "FOR" him. I have to keep reminding him that he has to get an education one way or another. He is so smart that this makes my statement seem silly to him (why should I learn, I already know!) His education so far is like swiss cheese. He does know a lot but there are gaps in what he knows. I am trying to manage that better by letting him skim through things he knows to spend more time on things he doesn't know. But it's a job to keep up with him most days.

I don't know if I can let go so much that I'm "unschooling." I know I have loosened up a little bit but I'm not sure how loose I can get. LOL. I'm trying!!!! But it's not EASY!!!!

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) Re: homeschool

> I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who >already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about >it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of >public school...I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does >more harm than good. Any thoughts?>>>>>>>>I have to agree on you about this as my hubby keeps saying that I cant homeschool our 12 yr old son because our son doesn't listen to us now since he is in public school why would he listen if he is home all day? I told him our son would not be under as much stress if he were home and hubby said "well thats life and are you going to be around all his life so he doesn't have to do anything in the real world?" GRRRRMarj

February 14, 2008

I agree with the unschooling idea. You want your kid happy, socially as appropriate as you can get them, and functioning in a job as an adult. Anything that moves you in that direction is education for your kid. Happy, cooperative, not fighting with you. You can purchase K12 Inc privately, instead of virtual academy, then spread it out over a 12 month period, 7 days per week, so that your total amount per day is less overall. Think outside the box, which I am SURE you are excellent at! Try to do more outings maybe. Why am I giving Roxanna the expert advice?? I am always listening to YOU and so respect your ideas so take it for what it is worth. Had my son take the cat to the vet for shots from start to finish, paint the mailbox yesterday, buy the paint the day before at the hardware store, including all the stuff you will need to do it with. If I can get a chore completed out of it, he can earn money, and it is social and engaging, it is school. Still, we are doing K12 Inc also as well, but 7 days per week, 12 months per year. It is much easier broken down into smaller pieces. It is so nice to be HAPPY with my child again, rather than unhappy with their behavior at a school that he can't in any way function at. Relax, it is all about not fighting with them and slowly finding what works. A happier child is a more productive child and much easier to live with by far..... Find stuff he is happy to do and fill his day with fun productive stuff. Even stuff that I know he will like but he doesn't want to do because he only wants to program the computer/vcr/telephone, etc. I put on a chore list. He needs to plant indoor seeds and label them all, set up a light for them, etc. as a chore. He will earn money to do it and at least it gets him doing something else. Chore is completed, he has spending money, is going on the bus today to electronic store with his aide, etc. Engaged, happy, out and about, doing something, talking to real human beings...... It is all school..... I never thought I would be talking like this!!!! Complete turn around from "I want my kids to go to public school so they can learn how to deal with all types of people. I would never home school my kids......" I hope my second autistic kids will reap the benefits of all the mistakes I have made with autistic kid number one......

Hang in there Roxanna!!!

( ) Re: homeschool

> I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who >already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about >it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of >public school...I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does >more harm than good. Any thoughts?>>>>>>>>I have to agree on you about this as my hubby keeps saying that I cant homeschool our 12 yr old son because our son doesn't listen to us now since he is in public school why would he listen if he is home all day? I told him our son would not be under as much stress if he were home and hubby said "well thats life and are you going to be around all his life so he doesn't have to do anything in the real world?" GRRRRMarj

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