Re: homeschool

February 10, 2008

The family with the kids with the particularly poor social skills is just from education (not just book education but being pushed to be vocal and polite). The two oldest kids went through public school and are well spoken and socially well rounded, but the four youngest are home schooled and are awful socially. This isn't shyness, either. The 12-year-old who has known us since she was 6 will come over for Thanksgiving dinner (we live far from our families, so we usually do holidays with our friends and their family) and whisper to her mother that she wants a glass of water rather than say it out loud. Her mother will laugh and tell her that she can ask for a glass of water, and the daughter will just smile at me like she's afraid to actually say the words, even though I've taught her how to do gaming (horseback riding), we let her help us with our foal when it was being boarded at her mom's stable, and she likes to come over to our house to visit. Go figure.

My children will have access to plenty of special interest groups in school, and quite a few recent graduates of our school district have said that the teachers are really great - eager in fact - about working with students who show talent, potential, or interest in particular subjects. These teachers *love* to teach and to share, and it shows. I'm sure that if my daughter (not AS, but unfortunately a total lemming who would jump off the cliff if all the other lemmings looked like they were having a good time!) showed an aptitude for computers, her teachers would either be helping to realize her potential or helping me to find ways to do so.

Re: ( ) homeschool

I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side.

I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid.

Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him.

That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish.

Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization.

Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

February 10, 2008

I'm a PK - exactly what is the "traditional route" for us? I think PK kids are no different than any other kids except people make up these stupid theories about us as a group simply because our fathers (mothers) are ministers. I heard it all my life and it was ridiculous and I think that would be a lame reason to equate being different in school to having autism/AS. It's totally not in the same hemisphere as far as problems go.

Anyway, I don't think you understand what Ruthie is saying and I don't think you can unless you live it or can empathize with it. I won't even try to explain it again. I just know what she says is true and why it's true., unfortunately.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

You, as a parent, taught your son to talk and to socialize.

Actually, no, I didn't really teach my son to talk and did a poor job on some of the socialization, I'm sad to say. We did everything we thought we should be doing, everything that was recommended by family, friends, doctor, and still he didn't speak. We learned a lot working with the Birth to Three speech therapist, and it wasn't until she had been working with him for a month until he started even to use "more" and some sign language. His socialization has been typical either, and it's been largely the amazing teaching by his Early Childhood teacher that has helped him to learn so many great social skills. I know what you are saying, but I will sadly admit that I really needed the help of a Federal program and the public school system to get him to the point he is at now. It takes a village to raise a child and all that.

Yes,,,,,,,they will learn to work as a group. They will learn more pragmatic speech, to a point. But,,,,they WILL learn that they don't fit. It may not be until they're older. But,,,they're smart cookies and because they have aspergers, which is a social disorder, they will not fit like others.

I usually didn't fit in because I was always the super smart nerd with the weird memory (my memory is excellent, to the point that I can remember what page a passage is on that I want to reference in a novel in the middle of a class discussion). My husband didn't fit in because of his undiagnosed AS, his dyselexia, and his gifted IQ. In fact, my husband's middle school had such a large Jewish population that they had off for all the Jewish holidays, and he's the son of a Lutheran minister, so he was different at school in a way most of us don't think of. I had some tough times being the nerd, but I found my way. My husband had some tough times, but he says that his most difficult times had nothing to do with his AS or his dyslexia and everything to do with being the son of divorced parents with one of them being a minister - he couldn't always do things with the other kids because he had to be at one parent's house for part of the week or because he had church functions that he had to attend or just some stricter rules because of being a PK with an older brother who'd already followed the traditional route of being the PK who causes trouble. We believe that our son will have struggles like every young person out there, and that it will be how he learns to get through those struggles that will form him. Our way is not for everyone, but it is our way and does work for us and our family.

Now,,,,,hopefully, your son won't pick up on the fact that other kids think he's odd. Hopefully, the kids at the school won't notice that he doesn't "carry" himself like others. Or that he simply doesn't care to be there. Or that he "freaks out" at things that they don't.

One thing I've heard about our school is that the teachers, administration, and student population are all very open minded and accepting. One woman I work with has a daughter who is graduating this year, and her daughter has a panic disorder that means that she can have a bad panic attack in crowds. Her classes are grouped so that she doesn't have too far to go in between classes, she's in the smallest gym class, and she's allowed to sit at the end of the row for school assemblies so that she can leave if she needs to. Sounds nice to me!

February 10, 2008

If you think I'm hasty in saying that I will never homeschool my children, even my son with AS, you should hear my husband! As a man with unofficially diagnosed AS, he is emphatic that our son will do much better in public school than if he were allowed to be homeschooled, and even if I wavered (not likely to happen), he would be sticking to his guns. This is based on his own experience growing up and his life now, and I completely respect his position. Our experiences mould us and make us who we are, and just as some of you say that you would never use public school, we're the opposite end of the spectrum. I expect that most people fall somewhere in between, but there will always be those who say "never public school again" and others who say "never homeschool."

I would also warn people not to say they will "never" homeschool. I did not think I would be doing it because we had a good program and I liked our elementary school. But I learned "never say never" as things happen, situations change, needs change...it happens. And here I am trying to figure it all out now.

RoxannaAutism Happens

..

February 10, 2008

All of the pastor's kids I've ever known, including my son and his siblings and a dozen other pastor's kids over the years, have all said that they feel like they are expected to be extra good and that sometimes they just have the irrepressible urge to act out. I can say that I felt the same way being the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family - sometimes all those expectations can be tough to take! Even if the PK stereotype is not true or not deserved, it still exists, which meant that my husband said that he was constantly surrounded by people (kids and adults) who either thought that he would be an angel or that he would be a rebel, and that he had a hard time proving to many people that he could be somewhere in between. Isn't that what many people with AS go through - proving that they can be something other than what the preconceived notion is of autism?

To be blunt, I find both you, Roxanna, and Ruthie to be very outspoken and opinionated in a rather abrasive manner. If I seem to be misunderstanding anything, I apologize but doubt that I am misunderstanding. I might be a bit defensive but am not misunderstanding. I am a very positive, very open-minded person, and I have a hard time accepting negativity and those views that don't allow for hope.

Re: ( ) homeschool

You, as a parent, taught your son to talk and to socialize.

Actually, no, I didn't really teach my son to talk and did a poor job on some of the socialization, I'm sad to say. We did everything we thought we should be doing, everything that was recommended by family, friends, doctor, and still he didn't speak. We learned a lot working with the Birth to Three speech therapist, and it wasn't until she had been working with him for a month until he started even to use "more" and some sign language. His socialization has been typical either, and it's been largely the amazing teaching by his Early Childhood teacher that has helped him to learn so many great social skills. I know what you are saying, but I will sadly admit that I really needed the help of a Federal program and the public school system to get him to the point he is at now. It takes a village to raise a child and all that.

Yes,,,,,,,they will learn to work as a group. They will learn more pragmatic speech, to a point. But,,,,they WILL learn that they don't fit. It may not be until they're older. But,,,they're smart cookies and because they have aspergers, which is a social disorder, they will not fit like others.

I usually didn't fit in because I was always the super smart nerd with the weird memory (my memory is excellent, to the point that I can remember what page a passage is on that I want to reference in a novel in the middle of a class discussion). My husband didn't fit in because of his undiagnosed AS, his dyselexia, and his gifted IQ. In fact, my husband's middle school had such a large Jewish population that they had off for all the Jewish holidays, and he's the son of a Lutheran minister, so he was different at school in a way most of us don't think of. I had some tough times being the nerd, but I found my way. My husband had some tough times, but he says that his most difficult times had nothing to do with his AS or his dyslexia and everything to do with being the son of divorced parents with one of them being a minister - he couldn't always do things with the other kids because he had to be at one parent's house for part of the week or because he had church functions that he had to attend or just some stricter rules because of being a PK with an older brother who'd already followed the traditional route of being the PK who causes trouble. We believe that our son will have struggles like every young person out there, and that it will be how he learns to get through those struggles that will form him. Our way is not for everyone, but it is our way and does work for us and our family.

Now,,,,,hopefully, your son won't pick up on the fact that other kids think he's odd. Hopefully, the kids at the school won't notice that he doesn't "carry" himself like others. Or that he simply doesn't care to be there. Or that he "freaks out" at things that they don't.

One thing I've heard about our school is that the teachers, administration, and student population are all very open minded and accepting. One woman I work with has a daughter who is graduating this year, and her daughter has a panic disorder that means that she can have a bad panic attack in crowds. Her classes are grouped so that she doesn't have too far to go in between classes, she's in the smallest gym class, and she's allowed to sit at the end of the row for school assemblies so that she can leave if she needs to. Sounds nice to me!

February 10, 2008

The "e school" way has been amazing for Ian!!!! He did 6th and 7th grade art and music as of 2 weeks ago. This is since Sept. By the end of Feb, he'll be done with Lit and by early Apr, he'll be done with 6th grade History and will have the choice of having 7th grade stuff sent. *** I gotta say, too, ,,,,,I hope you didn't feel "on the defense" when I replied. I didn't mean it. I totally got what you wrote. Heck.,,,,,,I FELT that way until things changed with my son whe he was about 9. I agree that the smaller the district, for the most part, it's going to be better for your child AS LONG AS they understand AS. It amazes me the amount of school districts that truly don't "get it". Ours did, to a point. *** What Roxanna said about the computer classes. I totally agree again. When my kids were in Kinder and 1st,,,,,it

was fine. But,,,,,,they clicked with computers and had free reign at home to be on the computer....so by 2nd grade,,,,,,having computer lab at school was really a time of frustration. They knew websites for math games, etc. BUT,,,,it wasn't a school-approved site. We sent the site URL's to the school some times and they added them to the OK list. But,,,,for the most part,,,,,they were very bored in computer class. I hope I don't sound bad, here,,,,,,,but my kids are not gifted. They're smart........but what I'm seeing....is that since Ian's been given the right to go ahead when he's mastered something,,,,,,,,,,,,,,he's learned more. My other kids (who are in pub school) also check out his stuff. They hear us talking about what we did for the day. They're getting interested more..............and we have always learned at home,,,,,,,always had books, etc out in the open for them. I feel bad

for myself in a way,,,,because to be honest,,,,,I find myslef learning things that I didn't know...through my 6th grader. And,,,,,it's not that he has this magical curriculum. (I don't think...ha ha).....it's that when it's just he and I at the table,,,,,,,we can talk about it or I can have him read it outloud to me. I hear things,,,,,,,,I add to it.....he agrees or adds a comment. I think we've gained so much from being able to "converse" about the stuff. That is not allowed in a traditional classroom. It CAN'T be allowed unless it is a very small class. So,,,,I think you're lucky that way,,,,to be in such a small school. I think this is why they're given homework,,,,,,,,,,the idea of it is good, I feel. The IDEA. To go home and maybe review what it is you either read or went over as a group and to get a bit more out of it.....to solidify the point. But,,,,,for us,,,,,,,,,,it seems that

it's something to "get done" before supper. I think for my younger kids,,,,their math sheets are good to bring home,,,,because this is repetition. BUt,,,,,for older kids........ugh........for us,.....it just became something to get done. Anyway,,,,I can't remember where I was going with this. Ha ha. Have a good one. RobinRoxanna <madideas@...> wrote: Just two thoughts: the kids could have been

socially awkward to begin with and that had nothing to do with the homeschooling. As for the example of not meeting the kids advanced computer skills, good luck if you think the school would do that for you. In school, they teach to one level (generally the lower) and the only way you can get any advanced work is if you live in a school that has gifted programming and you happen to qualify for it. Or if your parents locate a private program done outside of school. Regular schools generally don't specialize. They teach in big groups. The e-school program is actually geared to advance the child as they go. So a kid who is advanced, can advance at their own pace rather than wait

around while others in the class get it. We haven't really benefitted from this yet but I see the "framework" and I think it's going to be a good thing eventually. I guess it is really more about who is running the actual program. You can have a crappy home program as well as have a crappy school district - or even a good school district with a crappy teacher or program. It's all relative. RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) homeschool I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side. I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential.

The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid. Your question sparked some conversation

between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him. That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and

the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also

live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish. Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's

socialization. Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more

harm than good. Any thoughts?

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

February 10, 2008

Nope, Robin, you were just fine. In fact, your post made me smile, as finally I'm hearing from someone else who has independence issues with their child with AS!

I gotta say, too, ,,,,,I hope you didn't feel "on the defense" when I replied. I didn't mean it. I totally got what you wrote. Heck.,,,,,,I FELT that way until things changed with my son whe he was about 9.

I agree that the smaller the district, for the most part, it's going to be better for your child AS LONG AS they understand AS. It amazes me the amount of school districts that truly don't "get it".

Ours did, to a point.

***

What Roxanna said about the computer classes. I totally agree again.

When my kids were in Kinder and 1st,,,,,it was fine. But,,,,,,they clicked with computers and had free reign at home to be on the computer....so by 2nd grade,,,,,,having computer lab at school was really a time of frustration.

They knew websites for math games, etc. BUT,,,,it wasn't a school-approved site. We sent the site URL's to the school some times and they added them to the OK list. But,,,,for the most part,,,,,they were very bored in computer class.

I hope I don't sound bad, here,,,,,,,but my kids are not gifted. They're smart........but what I'm seeing....is that since Ian's been given the right to go ahead when he's mastered something,,,,,,,,,,,,,,he's learned more. My other kids (who are in pub school) also check out his stuff. They hear us talking about what we did for the day. They're getting interested more..............and we have always learned at home,,,,,,,always had books, etc out in the open for them.

I feel bad for myself in a way,,,,because to be honest,,,,,I find myslef learning things that I didn't know...through my 6th grader. And,,,,,it's not that he has this magical curriculum. (I don't think...ha ha).....it's that when it's just he and I at the table,,,,,,,we can talk about it or I can have him read it outloud to me. I hear things,,,,,,,,I add to it.....he agrees or adds a comment. I think we've gained so much from being able to "converse" about the stuff. That is not allowed in a traditional classroom. It CAN'T be allowed unless it is a very small class.

So,,,,I think you're lucky that way,,,,to be in such a small school.

I think this is why they're given homework,,,,,,,,,,the idea of it is good, I feel. The IDEA.

To go home and maybe review what it is you either read or went over as a group and to get a bit more out of it.....to solidify the point. But,,,,,for us,,,,,,,,,,it seems that it's something to "get done" before supper. I think for my younger kids,,,,their math sheets are good to bring home,,,,because this is repetition. BUt,,,,,for older kids........ugh........for us,.....it just became something to get done.

Anyway,,,,I can't remember where I was going with this.

Ha ha.

Have a good one.

RobinRoxanna <madideaszoominternet (DOT) net> wrote:

Just two thoughts: the kids could have been socially awkward to begin with and that had nothing to do with the homeschooling.

As for the example of not meeting the kids advanced computer skills, good luck if you think the school would do that for you. In school, they teach to one level (generally the lower) and the only way you can get any advanced work is if you live in a school that has gifted programming and you happen to qualify for it. Or if your parents locate a private program done outside of school. Regular schools generally don't specialize. They teach in big groups.

The e-school program is actually geared to advance the child as they go. So a kid who is advanced, can advance at their own pace rather than wait around while others in the class get it. We haven't really benefitted from this yet but I see the "framework" and I think it's going to be a good thing eventually. I guess it is really more about who is running the actual program. You can have a crappy home program as well as have a crappy school district - or even a good school district with a crappy teacher or program. It's all relative.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side.

I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid.

Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him.

That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish.

Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization.

Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

February 10, 2008

Hee heee.Ya know,,,,,,,it's the same with "normal" kids..... How many times have I been out with the kids? There have been times when they were so good, I just knew that I was 1 of very few women who were raising their kids the right way. I have had older women come up and say how beautiful my kids were and that they are so well-behaved. I honestly believe at those moments, that I could pop our 6 more......that's how great I am. Then,,,,,,,,,,,,,,the next time we go,,,,,,it's a disaster. Not just that they want everything they see. They honestly are bad. I am sweating from the panic I'm about to feel......for I KNOW the shit will soon hit the fan. I'm mad at myself for going to the store when I KNEW I shoudln't have. But,,,,,I went anyway. They are fighting and actually running away from the one they just smacked. Or are so "up" and happy and hyper that there

is no threatening them. I think that that may actually be worse. So......as I'm getting back to our truck with them ,,,,,,,swearing and angry......and they finally "get" that I'm about to have a heart attack........I, deep down, know that I got this trip because of how cocky I was when they were good that day.... hee hee. RobinRoxanna <madideas@...> wrote: Most people will tell you the schools are great. Nobody is going to

say the school system is not great. We chose our city/school because of the special needs services as well and some years, we were rewarded and other years, we were not. No school is great in all places at all times. You will have some years better than others. Things can change and situations can arise out of your control. This reminds me of that McCarthy who is on every magazine cover again lately spouting off that she found a diet to cure autism in her kid. Her kid looks like he's 4 yo. I just want to say, "Lady, you have no clue what the next dozen years will hold for this kid so quit bragging so early in the game." Having a 19 yo with hfa, I just smile when people with little kids have all the answers or think the road is cleared from here on out. It's just not true. The

autism gods will hear you and make you sorry you thought you had all the answers. lol. Oh yeah, learned that one. <g> RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) homeschool I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side. I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that

potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid. Your question sparked

some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him. That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the

school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school

districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish. Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about

your son's socialization. Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his

school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

February 11, 2008

I have seen the same thing with regards to computers. They take the kids to computer lab as start with the basics. My kids are all very computer literate so this is a really boring class for them to have to sit through.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side.

I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid.

Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him.

That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish.

Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization.

Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

February 11, 2008

LOL, oh isn't that the truth! Just when you think you have the answers, they change the questions. LOL.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side.

I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid.

Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him.

That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish.

Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization.

Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

February 11, 2008

Michigan does have "alternative" schools, and I may not be "up on the times", but from what I perceive, the alternative schools are for the can I say "naughty" kids? The kids who basically are not allowed at any other public school, so they congregate in the alternative schools, and it would be a school I definately WOULD NOT want my child close to. We also do have Charter Schools, which I had heard lots of good things about in the past ... altho' I'm not sure if they are now what they had promised. We have "home school" schools where home-schooled kids can attend one day a week with other home-schooled peers; HOWEVER, I DEFINATELY WOULD NOT recommend THAT school to ANYBODY, especially our special unique kids, because it seems that IF YOUR CHILD DOES NOT FIT THEIR "COOKIE CUTTER' SHAPE OF WHAT

THEY PERCEIVE A CHILD SHOULD BE, well, your basically SOL. And, not kindly either! I would NEVER subject my child to THOSE PEOPLE again! That school did more harm than good, unfortunately. I should have checked it out better before I entered into the "agreement". We also have private schools, and a real good small private school where my children attended, in which my 8 y/o DS will eventually return. So, that's what it's like in Michigan. I also would like to say that I believe our public school systems are doing the best that they can. Unfortunately, being a teacher these days is NOT an easy task. I give all teachers a lot of credit for being able to do it, day after day, and there ARE many interested & invested teachers out there. Take care, Jo T. Adam & Meg Ritterpusch <ritterpusch@...> wrote: I *am* new to the group, but I also did read many, many, many of the threads before posting and am well aware of some of the problems experienced by members of this group. I also think that there is a lot of negativity on this group about public schools, and I would like to be one of the few who say that public school can be fantastic - my husband and I went to fantastic public schools in

south-central Pennsylvania, our kids will be in a fantastic public school in Wisconsin, my friend's daughter who was born deaf and now has cochlear implants will be in a fantastic public school in northwestern Pennsylvania (is in Early Childhood classes at the public school already), and my husband's brother-in-law teaches at a fantastic public school in northwestern Pennsylvania. They *are* out there. Have any of you whose children weren't thriving in public school tried alternative public schools? In Pennsylvania they have vocational-technical high schools that are public schools that can be chosen over the traditional public school; unfortunately, these don't seem to be offered in Wisconsin at the high school level. My AS husband chose to attend vo-tech for high school, as it better fit his style of learning in a hands on

environment. He is very quick to say that vo-tech school was a fantastic place for him, and he wishes that all states offered such schools. For all members on this list, what alternative schools do you have? Charter schools? Vo-tech schools? If we consider that most people with AS are three dimensional learners, thus often struggling in an education system that is traditionally linear, these alternative public schools could be fabulous options! Re: ( ) homeschool I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side. I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and

challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid. Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him. That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community

libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a

team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish. Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your

burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization. Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the

"social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

February 11, 2008

Hi . I've got a friend up in Green Bay who has 6 special needs kids. She is very pleased with the way their schools have dealt with her and her kids. As I said before,,,,,we were fine, too, here in N. Fond du Lac until my sons' "emotions" needed more attention than his academics. I also know that there are quite a few Charter schools in the Appleton/Oshkosh area. Fond du Lac USED to have an alternative school for elementary school kids but they closed it a while back. I know that in North Fond du Lac, there is the Alternative Ed class for high school level. They take those who need different ways to learn and may otherwise have dropped out for whatever the reason. I've helped out in the Alt Ed room and it's awesome. RobinAdam & Meg Ritterpusch <ritterpusch@...> wrote: I *am* new to the group, but I also did read many, many, many of the threads before posting and am well aware of some of the problems experienced by members of this group. I also think that there is a lot of negativity on this group about public schools, and I would like to be one of the few who say that public school can be fantastic - my husband and I went to fantastic public schools in south-central Pennsylvania, our kids will be in a fantastic public school in Wisconsin, my friend's daughter who was born deaf and now has cochlear implants will be in a fantastic public

school in northwestern Pennsylvania (is in Early Childhood classes at the public school already), and my husband's brother-in-law teaches at a fantastic public school in northwestern Pennsylvania. They *are* out there. Have any of you whose children weren't thriving in public school tried alternative public schools? In Pennsylvania they have vocational-technical high schools that are public schools that can be chosen over the traditional public school; unfortunately, these don't seem to be offered in Wisconsin at the high school level. My AS husband chose to attend vo-tech for high school, as it better fit his style of learning in a hands on environment. He is very quick to say that vo-tech school was a fantastic place for him, and he wishes that all states offered such schools. For all members on this list, what alternative schools do you

have? Charter schools? Vo-tech schools? If we consider that most people with AS are three dimensional learners, thus often struggling in an education system that is traditionally linear, these alternative public schools could be fabulous options! Re: ( ) homeschool I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side. I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my

husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid. Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated

and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him. That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked

for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish.

Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization. Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

February 11, 2008

You said you were in Wisconsin. Where? We're in N. Fond du Lac. I like the sounds of your school. RobinAdam & Meg Ritterpusch <ritterpusch@...> wrote: The family with the kids with the particularly poor social skills is just from education (not just book education but being pushed to be vocal and polite). The two oldest kids went through public school and are well spoken and socially well rounded, but the four youngest are home schooled and are awful

socially. This isn't shyness, either. The 12-year-old who has known us since she was 6 will come over for Thanksgiving dinner (we live far from our families, so we usually do holidays with our friends and their family) and whisper to her mother that she wants a glass of water rather than say it out loud. Her mother will laugh and tell her that she can ask for a glass of water, and the daughter will just smile at me like she's afraid to actually say the words, even though I've taught her how to do gaming (horseback riding), we let her help us with our foal when it was being boarded at her mom's stable, and she likes to come over to our house to visit. Go figure. My children will have access to plenty of special interest groups in school, and quite a few recent graduates of our school district have said that the teachers are really great - eager in fact -

about working with students who show talent, potential, or interest in particular subjects. These teachers *love* to teach and to share, and it shows. I'm sure that if my daughter (not AS, but unfortunately a total lemming who would jump off the cliff if all the other lemmings looked like they were having a good time!) showed an aptitude for computers, her teachers would either be helping to realize her potential or helping me to find ways to do so. Re: ( ) homeschool I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side. I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents

challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid. Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him. That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses,

there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish. Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the

program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization. Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the

social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

February 11, 2008

Topics like this are really hard to debate with just facts because

there are so many emotions behind the dicision to

public/private/homeschool. Even for students without problums. I know

I've seen many moms fight to the death defending there decisions

even if their not being questioned or attacked and I've seen moms

feel questioned or attacted just by facts being brought up. I've also

seen facts being brought up non chalauntly to insult a person (but I

dont think thats the case here). Every parent want to believe their

deciaion is the best one possible and will defend thenselves to cover

up self doubt. This issue is getting hot so I just wanted to

highlight some of the different helpfull detials that have been

brought up.

It depends on the one single child and your families sittuation. It

depends on the school district. They could have the same exact

program as another school district but have less students and be

underfunded to really support it. It also depends on the individual

teachers and students that will be in the class and if they mesh with

a families goals and personalities. Growing up my elementary school

had EXCELLENT - absolutely amazing special needs programs-The high

school's program was horrible though and the students were so mean

and the teachers didn't really interfear unless it was what they were

specifically there for such as the special needs teachers. Any way

my dogs are fighting so I need to break it up but I do have

questions in general about AS s I'll be on later =)

-

>

> You are overreacting a good bit on this one, I believe, as I said

up front that I was trying to give examples of the negative side of

homeschooling since there were so many positive examples. I

mentioned two families whose homeschooled kids have poor social

skills even with doing some sports, but I also mentioned a family

with homeschooled kids who had excellent social skills. Knowing all

of the kids and knowing what I do about special needs in general from

our own experiences, I would make the unofficial guess that the kids

are nice, middle of the road, average kids - average weight, average

height, average intelligence, average illnesses, average behaviors,

average times for reaching milestones physically, emotionally, and

linguistically. We're talking pretty average kids!

>

> When we investigated our school district, we specifically asked

questions about special needs and learning disability education since

my husband had been diagnosed with dyslexia as a child. I would be

pretty disappointed in myself if we had horrible schooling for our

son with AS after doing that research myself. I am also really

confident that my son will be fine in school for the duration of his

public education because there are only two schools in our district -

the elementary for JK - 6 and the middle/high school for 7 - 12, and

my son's grade will have only about 40 kids in it, so problems will

be limited simply because there aren't that many kids. Not to say

that there won't be problems, but there just won't be as many

opportunities for trouble. Not to mention that all of the kids we've

ever met (heck, any of the people we've met in our entire zip code of

3,000 people) don't give a damn if you have disabilities - you're a

neighbor and that's good enough for them, and they're always there to

lend a helping hand. Even the horse 4-H contact person in our county

is the Special Education teacher at a school 30 minutes away from us.

>

> Homeschooling is not for everyone, nor is public school for

everyone. I was trying to give an alternate viewpoint. We are in a

situation where we will have not only a good education but a great

life experience with the school system, and I am glad. There are a

lot of negative things spewed on this list about public schools, and

I'm going to stand up and say that some public schools are

fabulous!!!!

>

> Re: ( ) homeschool

>

> I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of

homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side.

>

> I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool

their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the

one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There

education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a

computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and

challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills

of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak

with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family

speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including

my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same

time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all

homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and

these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled

in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents

challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through

their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of

social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special

needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid.

>

> Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and

me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our

AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most

definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated

and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we

can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school

can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able

to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area

of concern for him.

>

> That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of

animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We

first read all that we could about the different school districts

within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to

talk to librarians at different community libraries about their

opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new

friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers

and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five

school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for

houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite

school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-

months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district

is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish

is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater

program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for

some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is

under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that

students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids

their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team

with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U

of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the

kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high

school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish.

>

> Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as

homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if

he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the

socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are

considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to

challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan

if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates

school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of

regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your

burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization.

>

> Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am

going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly

considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those

of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows

nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the

social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but

personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't

haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets

me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San

Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field

trips. I think the " social aspect " he gets at his school does more

harm than good. Any thoughts?

>

February 11, 2008

– I have been a member of this group for several

years but am mostly a “reader” and don’t respond much but I

feel I must respond to this post. You may feel there is “a lot of

negativity on this group about public schools” which may be true to some

extent but this negativity is usually based on fact and experience. I hope

that your experiences with public schools are as “fantastic” as you

hope and as you keep saying the public schools in your area are. But, if

I remember correctly your son is only 4 so you have no personal knowledge of

the public school experience with a special needs child. I have three

children ages 31, 28, and 17. Public schools were great for my two older

children and they received good educations. My 31 yo daughter was a

normal kid of average intelligence; my 28 yo son was gifted and participated in

Duke University’s Talented & Gifted program and took the SAT when he

was 12. Then there is my Tyler who is 17 (18 in May). Public schools

were a nightmare for us especially high school. There were problems in

elementary but nothing like middle school where problems were magnified and we

eventually put him in a self-contained classroom where he blossomed without all

the stress, chaos, and noise of the regular environment. Then on to high

school and regular classes with a few resource classes as he had done so well his

last two years of middle school. It was a disaster and we pulled him out

this year and put him in a private school. He should be a senior but we

are having him repeat his junior year as we feel he needs as much time as

possible in a supportive environment to prepare for college (Tyler is very

intelligent – IQ of 168 – but has no organizational skills, struggles

with doing essays, etc.). The private school is awesome – I can’t

say enough nice things about it! One of the things that explains why

school becomes much more difficult for these kids is that they are emotionally

about 2/3 of their chronological age so at age 6 they are emotionally about 4

which is not a real noticeable difference but at age 16 they are emotionally

about 12 which is a huge difference and very noticeable by all especially their

peers. So, again while I hope for your sake that your public school

system is “fantastic” and all you hope it to be, you have never

walked in many of our shoes as far as dealing with public schools and I would

love to hear from you about this subject again in 8-10 years.

Regards,

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of Adam & Meg Ritterpusch

Sent: Sunday, February 10, 2008 8:54 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) homeschool

I

*am* new to the group, but I also did read many, many, many of the threads

before posting and am well aware of some of the problems experienced by members

of this group. I also think that there is a lot of negativity on this

group about public schools, and I would like to be one of the few who say that

public school can be fantastic - my husband and I went to fantastic public

schools in south-central Pennsylvania, our kids will be in a fantastic public

school in Wisconsin, my friend's daughter who was born deaf and now has

cochlear implants will be in a fantastic public school in

northwestern Pennsylvania (is in Early Childhood classes at the public school

already), and my husband's brother-in-law teaches at a fantastic public

school in northwestern Pennsylvania. They *are* out there.

Have

any of you whose children weren't thriving in public school tried alternative

public schools? In Pennsylvania they have vocational-technical high

schools that are public schools that can be chosen over the traditional public

school; unfortunately, these don't seem to be offered in Wisconsin at the high

school level. My AS husband chose to attend vo-tech for high school, as

it better fit his style of learning in a hands on environment. He is very

quick to say that vo-tech school was a fantastic place for him, and he wishes

that all states offered such schools. For all members on this list, what

alternative schools do you have? Charter schools? Vo-tech schools?

If we consider that most people with AS are three dimensional learners, thus

often struggling in an education system that is traditionally linear, these

alternative public schools could be fabulous options!

-----

Original Message -----

From: BRYAN DOLEZAL

Aspergers Treatment

Sent: Sunday, February 10,

2008 2:55 PM

Subject: RE:

( ) homeschool

Taken from my 'original posting:' Remember, I home school

one, public school two; I would do both all over again, and my home schooler

will NEVER go back to public school!! He has made that very clear.

I said I would never home school him either but I was open minded to all the

myths.

Ruthie Dolezal

I STILL have have two in public schools, so you are lucky to have a great

school: you really are; I don't think I was over reacting but I WAS YOU a few

years ago (before I even knew it was aspergers---saying I WOULD NEVER HOME

SCHOOL and here I am; We are NOT a pro-home-school group as far as I know; we

are a pro-kids group and seems a bunch of us just since we joine about 6 months

ago now have had to pull kids and start home schooling; so, if you are newer,

you have probably missed out on our journeys; If you knew me personally, you

would now that I was not trying to sound harsh but I am sure it may have come

across that way; YOU ARE LUCKY and an exception to have a school actually

MEETING your child's needs.

Additionally, we were told to move and go to school where we are now too, and

are SOOOOO angry that we are moving to a new district; we cannot believe they

have failed us and our children this way; we heard soooo many wonderful things

about them because it was time for US to need services; so, it was not as good

as we were told; quite and contrary actually.

Have a great day; and know that home school and public are not the onlly ways;

but there are LOTS of ways and I / we firmly believe the biggest thing is that

we all maintain the RIGHTS (without government telling us no) that we can do

whatever to ensure OUR CHILDREN have the education they deserve and learn how

they can no matter their abilities and / or lack thereof; everyone HAS that

right; in Iowa, we are battling again to keep the rights to home school; it is

always a 'battle' when you have special kids (or for most of us it is); if you

are the exception, that is WONDERFUL!!! Good luck, and thanks for

sharing;k have a great day, and keep sharing your opinions.....just know that

NEVER may not always be NEVER and do what is best at all times for the child;

in junior high, teachers want our children to change for high school and do

things they cannot do; so it creates mental health issues (often) for a lot of

us; and mix 'it' with puberty, and fun we all have (NOT!).......

Ruthie Dolezal

From: ritterpusch@...

Date: Sat, 9 Feb 2008 19:15:31 -0600

Subject: Re: ( ) homeschool

You

are overreacting a good bit on this one, I believe, as I said up front that I

was trying to give examples of the negative side of homeschooling since there

were so many positive examples. I mentioned two families whose homeschooled

kids have poor social skills even with doing some sports, but I also mentioned

a family with homeschooled kids who had excellent social skills. Knowing

all of the kids and knowing what I do about special needs in general from our

own experiences, I would make the unofficial guess that the kids are nice,

middle of the road, average kids - average weight, average height, average

intelligence, average illnesses, average behaviors, average times for reaching

milestones physically, emotionally, and linguistically. We're talking

pretty average kids!

When

we investigated our school district, we specifically asked questions about

special needs and learning disability education since my husband had been

diagnosed with dyslexia as a child. I would be pretty disappointed in

myself if we had horrible schooling for our son with AS after doing that

research myself. I am also really confident that my son will be fine in

school for the duration of his public education because there are only two

schools in our district - the elementary for JK - 6 and the middle/high school

for 7 - 12, and my son's grade will have only about 40 kids in it, so problems

will be limited simply because there aren't that many kids. Not to say

that there won't be problems, but there just won't be as many opportunities for

trouble. Not to mention that all of the kids we've ever met (heck, any of

the people we've met in our entire zip code of 3,000 people) don't give a

damn if you have disabilities - you're a neighbor and that's

good enough for them, and they're always there to lend a helping hand.

Even the horse 4-H contact person in our county is the Special Education

teacher at a school 30 minutes away from us.

Homeschooling

is not for everyone, nor is public school for everyone. I was trying to

give an alternate viewpoint. We are in a situation where we will have not

only a good education but a great life experience with the school system, and I

am glad. There are a lot of negative things spewed on this list about

public schools, and I'm going to stand up and say that some public schools are

fabulous!!!!

-----

Original Message -----

From: BRYAN DOLEZAL

Sent: Friday, February 08,

2008 9:14 PM

Subject: Re:

( ) homeschool

I MUST address this one; FIRST---your son will get

great therapy at SCHOOL---AMEN to that---you have that at school?

WOW---you better consider yourself lucky but please know you are a very small

percentage that is getting services like that; most of us with Asperger's kids

are fighting and getting little to nothing, so you are rare.

Secondly, we were told to move where we live for our

wonderful school system, so we moved 3 plus hours one way away to be here; it

STINKS here, and they have nothing but failed my special needs students; in

fact, my 8th grader was still doing 4th grade work when we pulled him in

October 2007; thanks to us and tutoring, we are bringing him back to 8th grade

level on must subjects now but WONDERFUL SCHOOL has failed him (AND US) and

cost us thousands.

And, you home school analyses: while those are two

extremes, and I know they probably exist, this SOCIALIZATION stuff is a

'myth.' And, how does someone know that there is not any special needs

involved for sure? I meet people all the time that still deny the

existence of issues in their home / family. Beyond that, I have always

taught proper language and pronunciation in my home, daycare, etc.

HOWEVER, to say SCHOOL will FIX that is ridiculous in my opinion; our schools

are NOT even correcting SPELLING, pronunciation, etc. AT ALL TODAY---look at

all the people now using DON'T / DOES, double negatives, OF-TEN instead of the

correct way of Off-en, etc.; teachers in public school NEVER correct these

kids; we have been appauled with how that goes. And, when I question why

my son still at school use all this misspelled words, it is phonetic, writing,

and putting it on paper; that bugs us to death; if NOT corrected, how will they

ever learn to spell it correctly? My 8th grader now home schooling has

the answers in his writing; they DON'T; they continue it, and wish someone

corrected them earlier, as they don't know the right spelling; good 'ol public

school.....

To say you will NEVER home school is simply fine FOR YOUR

CHILD if that works; however, IN JUNIOR HIGH, it IS often necessary to do

something else especially with Asperger's children; if YOUR SCHOOL IS SOOOOO

WONDERFUL YOU ARE LUCKY AND AN EXCEPTION BY ALL MEANS----it is RARE; our kids

are not lonely and wishing for socialization--- they could CARE A LESS

ABOUT SOCIALIZATION---in fact, they would love it if they could be home bodies

in their rooms and own spaces; we MAKE them participate and be social. We

work HARD to get everything outside of their bedroom and comfort level that we

can and meltdown free!! Those are miracle moments, in our opinions.

I just wanted to make sure that you know you are

addressing the biggest misconception and MYTH possible about home schoolers and

that is SOCIALIZATION. If you go out to eat, church, grocery

shopping, etc.; you socialized....if you are in your yard playing, you may have

chances to socialize; if the kids don't know you, don't feel comfortable with

you, have been told NOT to talk to you unless parents around, or whatever the

situation, that should NOT lead someone to jump to such conclusions; not all

PEOPLE ADULTS INCLUDED ARE SOCIAL--friendly--and whooped up about talking to

everyone; I know my kids would just soon not (two are aspies)----if a person is

SHY (for real) now they are 'non-social?' I just want to make sure this

is made clear it is a myth.

Remember, I home school one, public school two; I would do

both all over again, and my home schooler will NEVER go back to public

school!! He has made that very clear. I said I would never home

school him either but I was open minded to all the myths.

Ruthie Dolezal

-----

Original Message -----

From: Adam

& Meg Ritterpusch

Sent: Friday, February 08,

2008 10:38 AM

Subject: Re:

( ) homeschool

I

have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and

I'm going to offer some of the flip side.

I

have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and

the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does

soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their

talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't

getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that

potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the

kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in

the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether,

including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same

time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled

by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all

polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as

sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids

academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities,

always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have

mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average

homeschooled kid.

Your

question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night,

and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going

to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even

though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we

don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our

school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be

able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of

concern for him.

That

said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no

children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we

could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my

husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community

libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and

asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers

and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school

districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those

school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By

the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is

paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our

situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language

courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer

its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations

- the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which

means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids

their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two

neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W

satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take

a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology

or computer courses if they wish.

Find

out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be

jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels

alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then

doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will

you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your

back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates

school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of

regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden

and ease his worries about your son's socialization.

Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a

homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard

nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex

is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son

will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on

the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son

isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me

know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego

Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the

" social aspect " he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any

thoughts?

February 11, 2008

We're all the way over by the Minnesota border, about an hour northeast of St. . My husband actually works across the border in Minnesota, about a 40 mile commute. We love having small town America (we're in a farming community, a couple miles south of a village of 1,000 people) for our community but being able to access the museums, zoos, and other activities of the metro area only an hour away. thrives on animals, so being able to go to the Minnesota Zoo and Underwater Adventures, the aquarium at the Mall of America, is fantastic for us. There is also a petting zoo and deer park about 40 minutes from us by St. Croix Falls, WI that should be opening for the season in April, and he should be thrilled about going there this year. For his science interests, we're hoping to take him soon to the Minnesota Children's Museum and the Minnesota Science Museum, both in Minneapolis-St. . Locally, we're going to do some activities with animals, including letting him see the Building Bridges classes at the county fair this year to see if he wants to do them next year (they're like 4-H classes for kids who are too young for 4-H that let the kids show a pet goat, a calf, a dog, a cat, or whatever farm animal they have). I'd like to get him a turtle for his first "my very own" pet, but if he takes a liking to the goats, I guess I'm ending up with a goat. It's a fantastic community in a fantastic area, and we're thrilled to live here.

You said you were in Wisconsin.

Where? We're in N. Fond du Lac.

I like the sounds of your school.

Robin

..

February 11, 2008

I do have opinions and I don't mind sharing them. That's the deal on this list. As for perpetuating a stereotype because other people perpetuate it, that is nonsense. I think it's wrong to keep repeating something that isn't true just because other people believe it's true.

And no, it is nothing like having AS/HFA. In my experience, people with autism do not go out to prove something to other people because they have difficulty even figuring out what other people are thinking to begin with. Further, some can't figure out what other people think at all and others have an idea but really do not care. This is a large part of the social problems that they have.

I'm surprised you think this is negative since I think what you said about PK's is a negative stereotype. I have always spoken up about people who say these things about PK's as well. I won't stop now. It also hurts kids to keep this kind of stereotype alive in any way. Life is too short to spend it constantly wondering what other people think of you and if you are measuring up to their stereotypical view of what you are supposed to be. If you do one thing wrong, you are labeled "that bad PK" forever and vice versa, if you are a good kid or smart, it's because your father is a minister? - it's ridiculous.

We are all shades of good and bad and finding our way should not depend on a narrow, negative view of what our dad's job is. Nobody should do that, whether it's about being a PK or the oldest or the youngest or any other "label" we give people. We need to inspire kids to be good, productive, independent adults and show them that because they have something in their lives that other people think about as a negative, it has nothing to do with who they are. Have I had my fill of people projecting what is expected of a PK? Oh yeah! And I have always spoken up. I wish more PK's would do it. And maybe they do in their own ways, who knows.

PS - we are Lutheran also. I am not upset with you at all. I just hate seeing the stereotype repeated by anyone, anywhere, anytime. I do understand that people will project on you and that is a burden for kids. It's just not right to keep saying it. And I think it happens to kids overall in many situations, not just PK kids. People should know that PK's are no different than anyone else and I would wish more people would say that outloud and encourage kids to say it outloud too.

Honestly, most kids have issues to deal with growing up and this is one issue. I don't think it's a good excuse for feeling excluded like kids with AS/HFA are excluded. Being a PK does not mean you don't understand social situations or that you can't make and keep friends. A few people will shy away from you because you are a PK but most kids won't care. They care more if you are interesting, share common interests, etc. The hardest part for me about being a PK was not making friends and keeping friends - it was always moving to new places. This is what caused it to be hard socially - always being the new kid (not the PK kid.)

Kids with HFA/AS can't break through the social barrier even if they join the right teams or wear the right clothes or know the right people. Kids have a radar and they don't even know how to describe why they don't like our kids - they just pick them out and don't even give them a chance. I've sat on playgrounds for many hours watching my kid and even other kids with autism - what are they playing, how are they interacting, who they interact with, etc. Also, I have watched the NT kids, what they are playing, how they play, etc. I can say for sure that they know my kid is different even if we teach him to play the same games. I spent all last quarter last school year watching recess and my ds.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

You, as a parent, taught your son to talk and to socialize.

Actually, no, I didn't really teach my son to talk and did a poor job on some of the socialization, I'm sad to say. We did everything we thought we should be doing, everything that was recommended by family, friends, doctor, and still he didn't speak. We learned a lot working with the Birth to Three speech therapist, and it wasn't until she had been working with him for a month until he started even to use "more" and some sign language. His socialization has been typical either, and it's been largely the amazing teaching by his Early Childhood teacher that has helped him to learn so many great social skills. I know what you are saying, but I will sadly admit that I really needed the help of a Federal program and the public school system to get him to the point he is at now. It takes a village to raise a child and all that.

Yes,,,,,,,they will learn to work as a group. They will learn more pragmatic speech, to a point. But,,,,they WILL learn that they don't fit. It may not be until they're older. But,,,they're smart cookies and because they have aspergers, which is a social disorder, they will not fit like others.

I usually didn't fit in because I was always the super smart nerd with the weird memory (my memory is excellent, to the point that I can remember what page a passage is on that I want to reference in a novel in the middle of a class discussion). My husband didn't fit in because of his undiagnosed AS, his dyselexia, and his gifted IQ. In fact, my husband's middle school had such a large Jewish population that they had off for all the Jewish holidays, and he's the son of a Lutheran minister, so he was different at school in a way most of us don't think of. I had some tough times being the nerd, but I found my way. My husband had some tough times, but he says that his most difficult times had nothing to do with his AS or his dyslexia and everything to do with being the son of divorced parents with one of them being a minister - he couldn't always do things with the other kids because he had to be at one parent's house for part of the week or because he had church functions that he had to attend or just some stricter rules because of being a PK with an older brother who'd already followed the traditional route of being the PK who causes trouble. We believe that our son will have struggles like every young person out there, and that it will be how he learns to get through those struggles that will form him. Our way is not for everyone, but it is our way and does work for us and our family.

Now,,,,,hopefully, your son won't pick up on the fact that other kids think he's odd. Hopefully, the kids at the school won't notice that he doesn't "carry" himself like others. Or that he simply doesn't care to be there. Or that he "freaks out" at things that they don't.

One thing I've heard about our school is that the teachers, administration, and student population are all very open minded and accepting. One woman I work with has a daughter who is graduating this year, and her daughter has a panic disorder that means that she can have a bad panic attack in crowds. Her classes are grouped so that she doesn't have too far to go in between classes, she's in the smallest gym class, and she's allowed to sit at the end of the row for school assemblies so that she can leave if she needs to. Sounds nice to me!

February 11, 2008

,

I work with a woman whose daughter is graduating from our school district this year, and her daughter has panic disorder. She has great things to say about how the school district has treated her daughter. My neighbor a mile down the road raised six kids in this school district with the youngest graduating last year, and she said that the school district was great for her kids, even the one who started late because of delays from birth issues (born without part of her trachea, premature, etc.) and the one who is dyslexic. Our community's librarian has a niece who had a lot of trouble with speech (sounds like she had speech apraxia, but Cricket didn't say) and who is a sophomore in our high school and doing great. The county's 4-H leader who is a Special Education teacher at another school in the county (the middle school) has told me that she really likes the programs at our school and thinks that our son will do well here. The director of the Birth to Three program (again county run not related to our school) really likes the teaching, classes, and administration for our school district - we flat out asked her if we were in the best school for our son in the area or should consider another school district, and she said that the one we are in is fantastic. I am basing my confidence on a lot of opinions and experiences from a lot of other people plus the knowledge that we have started out well.

For all of you who hate how your schools are run, do you know who is on your school board? Do you vote in elections so that you can get better board members? Have you been involved with PTA? If you don't like how something is run, this country does allow for you to do something about it.

So, again while I hope for your sake that your public school system is “fantastic” and all you hope it to be, you have never walked in many of our shoes as far as dealing with public schools and I would love to hear from you about this subject again in 8-10 years.

Regards,

..

February 11, 2008

I don't think we are that negative towards public schools overall. I think many people here have major problems in dealing with public schools. Even if you start out doing great - it is a high percentage that you will hit a glitch and it will force you to have to deal with a bad situation with your public school. There are public schools that do a good job at responding to the needs of sped kids. Sometimes though, a person has to go through hell to get there. Or else, you have had to battle your way to that school. Or prove your kid "really" has the needs you want help for. Or convince people who know little about autism/AS that the behaviors are part of having AS.

This is a huge part of parenting a child with AS/HFA. So this is a common thread on this list. I won't say that public education is great overall because I think it's not. I will say that there are great teachers out there who really do a good job. They are worth their weight in gold and I have always written to let them know how much we appreciated them! Most schools are a mishmash of good and bad and in between, like most of life. So if a person has a great experience in early intervention, they might struggle in kindergarten but do well in grades 1 and 2, only to find grade 3 miserable and the 4th or 5th grade the final straw. This is a common experience for parents of kids with AS who go to public schools in some form or another. It's seldom all good or all bad. There are a few really awful public schools. They are just not designed for kids with sped needs and they don't care either. But most schools will do a minimal amount and feel good about it. And if your child is not that needy or does not have a lot of behaviors, you will think public education is pretty darn good overall. Usually, it's when you child has more needs than they typically have done before and/or your child has behaviors that do not respond to instant discipline that suddenly things get ugly fast. Then your wonderful school turns into your worst nightmare. It happens a lot and happens on this list a lot.

So I think it's wrong to say we are negative against public education as a whole. It's just that parents here will experience more problems getting help for their kids and this means we have more problems of this nature to discuss. And when things go wrong, they usually get ugly fast. Not always, but often. So it's parents like this who are discussing the situation and it may sound like they are negative against public schools but really, they are experiencing a nasty situation and this is what you are getting - the wisdom of experience.

For us, our 2nd ds with hfa had a really good K - 4th grade experience overall. Early intervention was awful, pre-k was awful, 5th grade was awful and in 6th now, we have pulled him out. But we have experience from our older ds to rely on in making these decisions - his education was crappy all the way through until the end when we got tutoring. So we've had good and bad and in between like most people.

Alternative public education is great too. We are doing that now with "e-school" with my 11 yo, hfa, hyperlexia, gifted. It's homeschooling online and it is a public school. Everything is provided by the school, including appropriate therapies and tutoring.

My older ds (hfa, dyslexia) could no longer attend regular public education and he was tutored outside of school (but via their tutors and curriculum) for the last two years of high school. This worked out really well for him. Now he is attending a vo-tech school and taking a 2 year computer class and doing great! My dd (who doesn't have AS, HFA) also will be going there next year. So it is a great alternative for some kids, I agree!

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side.

I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid.

Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him.

That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish.

Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization.

Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

February 11, 2008

We do have those alternative schools here too. We have a number of options because our school is large and you have to really be careful as to what you are signing up for! I know a number of kids with AS were recommended to go to "the alternative school" for bad kids because they had behaviors that the school could not manage or deal with. If a parent didn't know better, they would be sold on the alternative one and be sorry later.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side.

I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid.

Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him.

That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish.

Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization.

Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

February 11, 2008

I have held many positions on my school PTA. Currently I hold positions on the local school PTA and state PTA boards. My state position is Special Education Liaison. I work to bridge PTAs and special education advisory committees, so that parents are receiving important information that they need to know. Pam :)The year's hottest artists on the red carpet at the Grammy Awards. AOL Music takes you there.

February 11, 2008

You said this so well! ITA!

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) homeschool

I have seen quite a few posts supporting the idea of homsechooling your son, and I'm going to offer some of the flip side.

I have some friends (two separate families) who homeschool their kids, and the kids are all socially awkward, even though the one family of kids does soccer during the school year. There education is not meeting their talent levels - the one boy could be a computer whiz except that he isn't getting the coursework and challenge necessary to tap into that potential. The speaking skills of all the kids are horrible, as in the kids in the one family speak with poor diction and very fast and the kids in the other family speak very softly or avoid speaking to adults altogether, including my husband and me whom they have known for 6 years. At the same time, my husband's one teacher in high school had seven kids, all homeschooled by his wife who had also been a high school teacher, and these kids were all polite, well spoken, highly educated, and skilled in other things such as sports and musical instruments. The parents challenged those kids academically and the kids socialized through their extra-curricular activities, always expecting a high level of social skills. None of these kids I have mentioned had any special needs, so those are just examples of the average homeschooled kid.

Your question sparked some conversation between my husband and me the other night, and our immediate reactions were the same - our AS son will definitely be going to public school and will most definitely not be homeschooled. Even though I am college educated and both of us are much higher than average IQ, we don't feel that we can offer as much expertise and variety to our kids as our school can. Our son will also get great therapy in school and will be able to continue to work on his social skills, which is our biggest area of concern for him.

That said, we moved to this state 6 years ago with a bunch of animals and no children and immediately started house hunting. We first read all that we could about the different school districts within a tolerable commute to my husband's job, going so far as to talk to librarians at different community libraries about their opinions on the school districts and the teachers and asking new friends their opinions and experiences, plus reading the local papers and requesting copies of school newsletters. We picked the five school districts that we liked the best and then only looked for houses in those school districts, finally buying one in our favorite school district. By the time we bought a house, our son was four-months-old. Our work is paying off now because this school district is fantastic for our situation. There are limitations - only Spanish is offered for language courses, there isn't a school theater program, the school is too small to offer its own sports team for some of the sports. There are also compensations - the class size is under 20, the community theater program is strong which means that students work with people of all ages in productions not just kids their own age, and sports like ice hockey are done by making a team with two neighboring school districts. We also live an hour from a U of W satellite campus and 30 minutes from a technical college, so the kids can take a special course or two not offered by their high school like advanced biology or computer courses if they wish.

Find out a bit more why your son doesn't like school, as homeschooling might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if he hates school because he feels alienated and lonely. If the socialization is what he hates, then doing the program you are considering might be just the ticket. How will you continue to challenge him academically and socially? What is your back-up plan if the homeschooling isn't working out because he still hates school? As for the ex, see if he would like to do some sort of regular social activity with your son which would remove some of your burden and ease his worries about your son's socialization.

Anyone have any negative ideas about homeschooling? I am going to a homeschooling conference tomorrow and am highly considering it. I've heard nothing but good stuff about it from those of you who already homeschool. My ex is against it (he, who knows nothing about it, other than he thinks our son will lose out on the social aspect of public school and only has him on the weekends) but personally I have heard nothing negative about it. My son isn't haveing any behavior problems at school but he SO hates it and lets me know it. The homeschooling program I am looking into (Greater San Diego Academy) has electives he would do with other kids and field trips. I think the "social aspect" he gets at his school does more harm than good. Any thoughts?

February 11, 2008

I dunno, Roxanna. The City of San Diego was great to us after we sued their @$$ off! LOL They gave us a great public school program for elementary and middle school that met 's needs very well. Then, when that same program failed to meet his needs in high school, they paid for a private school. Then, when the teasing started senior year of high school, well, we just kept him home....LizOn Feb 11, 2008, at 1:06 PM, Roxanna wrote:I don't think we are that negative towards public schools overall. I think many people here have major problems in dealing with public schools. Even if you start out doing great - it is a high percentage that you will hit a glitch and it will force you to have to deal with a bad situation with your public school. There are public schools that do a good job at responding to the needs of sped kids. Sometimes though, a person has to go through hell to get there. Or else, you have had to battle your way to that school. Or prove your kid "really" has the needs you want help for. Or convince people who know little about autism/AS that the behaviors are part of having AS.

February 11, 2008

Your last paragragh was IT. Said perfectly and it's the reason why those who do pull their kids from school, probably do it. Social. Not academic. And,,,,,,,most, from what I've read and heard about, pull after 4th grade. There are exceptions, sure. But,,,,,for 1st times,,,,,,,,,it's the hardest decisions they made.....but once it was made,,,it was unbelievably simple. Social.......and no matter what they're taught.........they still don't seem to do it "right". RobinRoxanna <madideas@...> wrote: I do have opinions and I don't mind sharing them. That's the deal on this list. As for perpetuating a stereotype because other people perpetuate it, that is nonsense. I think it's wrong to keep repeating something that isn't true just because other people believe it's true. And no, it is nothing like having AS/HFA. In my experience, people with autism do not go out to prove something to other people because they have difficulty even figuring out what other people are thinking to begin with. Further, some can't figure out what other people think at all and others have an idea but really do not care. This is a large part of the social problems that they have. I'm surprised you think this is negative since I think what you said about PK's is a negative stereotype. I have always spoken up about people who say these things about PK's as well. I won't stop now. It also hurts kids to keep this kind of stereotype alive in any way. Life is too short to spend it constantly wondering what other people think of you and if you are measuring up to their stereotypical view of what you are supposed to be. If you do one thing wrong, you are labeled "that bad PK" forever and vice versa, if you are a good kid or smart, it's because your father is a minister? - it's ridiculous. We are all shades of good and bad and finding our way should not depend on a narrow, negative view of what our

dad's job is. Nobody should do that, whether it's about being a PK or the oldest or the youngest or any other "label" we give people. We need to inspire kids to be good, productive, independent adults and show them that because they have something in their lives that other people think about as a negative, it has nothing to do with who they are. Have I had my fill of people projecting what is expected of a PK? Oh yeah! And I have always spoken up. I wish more PK's would do it. And maybe they do in their own ways, who knows. PS - we are Lutheran also. I am not upset with you at all. I just hate seeing the stereotype repeated by anyone, anywhere, anytime. I do understand that people will project on you and that is a burden for kids. It's just not right to keep saying

it. And I think it happens to kids overall in many situations, not just PK kids. People should know that PK's are no different than anyone else and I would wish more people would say that outloud and encourage kids to say it outloud too. Honestly, most kids have issues to deal with growing up and this is one issue. I don't think it's a good excuse for feeling excluded like kids with AS/HFA are excluded. Being a PK does not mean you don't understand social situations or that you can't make and keep friends. A few people will shy away from you because you are a PK but most kids won't care. They care more if you are interesting, share common interests, etc. The hardest part for me about being a PK was not making friends and keeping friends - it was always moving to new places. This is what caused

it to be hard socially - always being the new kid (not the PK kid.) Kids with HFA/AS can't break through the social barrier even if they join the right teams or wear the right clothes or know the right people. Kids have a radar and they don't even know how to describe why they don't like our kids - they just pick them out and don't even give them a chance. I've sat on playgrounds for many hours watching my kid and even other kids with autism - what are they playing, how are they interacting, who they interact with, etc. Also, I have watched the NT kids, what they are playing, how they play, etc. I can say for sure that they know my kid is different even if we teach him to play the same games. I spent all last quarter last school year watching recess and my ds. RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) homeschool You, as a parent, taught your son to talk and to

socialize. Actually, no, I didn't really teach my son to talk and did a poor job on some of the socialization, I'm sad to say. We did everything we thought we should be doing, everything that was recommended by family, friends, doctor, and still he didn't speak. We learned a lot working with the Birth to Three speech therapist, and it wasn't until she had been working with him for a month until he started even to use "more" and some sign language. His socialization has been typical either, and it's been largely the amazing teaching by his Early Childhood teacher that has helped him to learn so many great social skills. I know what you are saying, but I will sadly admit that I really needed the help of a Federal program and the public school system to get him to the point he is at now. It takes a village to raise a child and all that. Yes,,,,,,,they will learn to

work as a group. They will learn more pragmatic speech, to a point. But,,,,they WILL learn that they don't fit. It may not be until they're older. But,,,they're smart cookies and because they have aspergers, which is a social disorder, they will not fit like others. I usually didn't fit in because I was always the super smart nerd with the weird memory (my memory is excellent, to the point that I can remember what page a passage is on that I want to reference in a novel in the middle of a class discussion). My husband didn't fit in because of his undiagnosed AS, his dyselexia, and his gifted IQ. In fact, my husband's middle school had such a large Jewish population that they had off for all the Jewish holidays, and he's the son of a Lutheran minister, so he was different at school in a way most of us don't think of. I had some tough times being the nerd, but I

found my way. My husband had some tough times, but he says that his most difficult times had nothing to do with his AS or his dyslexia and everything to do with being the son of divorced parents with one of them being a minister - he couldn't always do things with the other kids because he had to be at one parent's house for part of the week or because he had church functions that he had to attend or just some stricter rules because of being a PK with an older brother who'd already followed the traditional route of being the PK who causes trouble. We believe that our son will have struggles like every young person out there, and that it will be how he learns to get through those struggles that will form him. Our way is not for everyone, but it is our way and does work for us and our family. Now,,,,,hopefully, your son won't pick up on the fact that other kids think he's odd. Hopefully, the

kids at the school won't notice that he doesn't "carry" himself like others. Or that he simply doesn't care to be there. Or that he "freaks out" at things that they don't. One thing I've heard about our school is that the teachers, administration, and student population are all very open minded and accepting. One woman I work with has a daughter who is graduating this year, and her daughter has a panic disorder that means that she can have a bad panic attack in crowds. Her classes are grouped so that she doesn't have too far to go in between classes, she's in the smallest gym class, and she's allowed to sit at the end of the row for school assemblies so that she can leave if she needs to. Sounds nice to me!

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

February 11, 2008