New to the group

[Guest guest]

Im sure she will, Abby has her father sense of humor, just plain goofy.

Thats's ok, at least she has one.

I am trying to get a grant to go see Temple Grandin, She is comming to Ann

Arbor michinga, about 20 minutes from my house, I am hopeing I get to go, she

is so interesting. Talk to you later

Pennie

[Guest guest]

Abby doesnt like her chips in a bowl, she must have the whole bag, She doesnt

eat the whole bag but she must hold the bag. Another mom just told me that

her son eats hot chips and they dont seem hot to him. Her occupational

therapist told her his taste buds are probably undersensitive and he needs

the extra spice to taste anything, just thought it was interesting.

Pennie

[Guest guest]

Very interesting Sondra, I always love to hear your viewpoint. My daughter

seems to stick to the same foods, I dont know how to get her to try new

things. Im not going to force her things down her throat, or as others have

suggested that if she is hungry enough she will eat anything. She will starve

herself,that I know for sure, any input you have would be appreciated.

Pennie

[Guest guest]

Actually Abby's chip habit is only plain chips.I take that back,she does like

salt & vinegar also. I cant even ger her to try a Dorito, most of Abby's diet

is plain foods. There are lots of things I know she would like if I can just

get her to try them. She doesnt like anything with tomato sauce, like ravioli

or spegetti or even pizza. I wish I knew how to expand her variety of foods.

I just sent a E-Mail to Sondra hopeing that she will have some insight for me.

Pennie

[Guest guest]

Tried to do that, I figured if she kept seeing it she would eventually try

it, didnt work, if you have any other suggustions I would be more then happy

to hear them since I have ran out of idea's. Thanks

Pennie

[Guest guest]

Pennie I to be both in taste and is I to be either very sensitive to tastes

of what I to like or don't like but do be to like much spice such as

Jalapeno hot pepper tastes and such . I to like chips and salsa too in the

much hot range. I to be to eat them until my gums are numb but they do not

be to appear hot to me but does numb the inside of mouth in the gum areas. I

to like salty, crispy and sour/tart tasting foods and of course the spicy. I

to be to crave much soda for the strong fizz blended with much taste I to

like too but do not like all soda. One of my favorite foods is oriental or

Chinese do to strong tastes.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

I heard that a child needs to be introduced to a new food several times,

I think it was actually 9, before they can decide whether they like it or

not. Just a piece of trivia from an endless supply...

[Guest guest]

Here's one. Give her a choice, she can have some of A if she tries B.

Make sure A is her favorite and let her know she only has to TRY B and

then she can have A. You've probably already done this but if not, maybe

it'll help. Good luck

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the insight. Do you suggust I should just put things on her

plate, in addition to the things she does like and not say anything? I have

tried that before but all she did was just skip right over it. Do I need to

keep introducing it over and over again?

Pennie

[Guest guest]

She is so a Chicken Nugget and fries kid. You are a great lady, I am so happy

to bounce things off of you.

Pennie

[Guest guest]

If I to be to feel one wants me to try things I to be more determined to not

try it but if left alone to my own devices in the food areas might be to try

things without any stress involved in the decision to do so. Many things I

to be to not ever try as a child have been now explored as an adult. My

husband to try for years to get me to eat Chinese and the thought of all the

food mixed into one was to me much sickening and would be to say firmly no.

But one day I to be to tried a bite somewhere and to forget where or how but

ever since then do be to like it most. So I to say just leave the exposure

to such things available to her but not with intent to get her to try it.

Make no real issues of it. You to might also ask her what it is about the

food she to not like, for some time I to hated coleslaw because in school

they to be to put raisins in it but once exposed to it without raisins did

be to try it and did be to like it although now dairy free so rarely for me

to ever eat it now. Some to say they to not like chili with beans so if your

daughter to say things of this maybe eliminate the offensive food int eh

meal and it might be a good chance she might be to try it but do not stress

it just say I to tried something new this time I to made chili without beans

because some one else said it was much good and so I wanted to try it, leave

it at that and see what happens. You to be to have to explore the tastes you

daughter do be to like and find foods with similar qualities such if she to

like tart she to might like sweet and sour pork or pineapple fresh not

canned or such things of this.

Sondra

Sondra

[Guest guest]

Pennie she to be to like bland meaning she to be hyper sensitive to certain

foods and such, simple stay in this real of bland foods or foods with less

powerful tastes. do a journal of the foods you daughter will eat and you

will see a pattern not only in tastes but textures and then this will guide

you to what foods you to be to have success in trying with her. Example

Serve her spaghetti sautéed in olive oil instead of tomatosauce, if she to

not like chicken cook it with pastas or rice and or potatoes so the veggies

soak up some of the flavor but proteins too, just put new foods in small

amounts on her plate along with foods know she will eat, with no demands to

eat it but in time she might try it. Many of these kids who to like bland

are often the FF and chicken mcnugget kids LOL and they like this types of

foods as spice to them is like salt in an open wound much too powerful and

overwhelming for them . They may in time develop a sense of taste to try new

things that might be of mild taste beyond the safe zones but often much

later in life than early.Sometimes peer pressure as they develop and go to

school increases the chances of trying new foods.Not always but in some.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

Pennie yes and do not make any issues of it but do not put large amounts on

her plate but when exposed to it often enough she may be to sample it, or

some may be to by accident blend in with another food and she will be to get

mild exposure to its taste.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

I to not be to know what that to mean about to bounce things off me but yes

I to be much a FF and Chicken person still but have learned to enjoy more

foods in the last 6 or so years. But daily routine LOL is FF and Chicken

Mcnuggets from Mcs.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

Iknow exactly what you mean. I heard rumors that the deep

south was almost as bad as Colorado in the way of services. We too have

out of pocket expenses and no support. charlene

Re: Re: new to the group

>

>

>

> " fightingautism <fightingautism@...> " <fightingautism@...>

wrote:

> That's wonderful that you were able to move to Cali. I think one

> major problem is the big difference of services across the country,

> and even from county to county in my state of TN. In my case I had an

> older child to consider who was and still is going through a process

> learning to deal with her sister's issues. And I became pregnant a

> few months after Allie's diagnosis so for us moving is not an option.

> We also don't have the earning potential in another part of the

> nation that we do here. In my area, services even vary greatly from 0-

> 3, 3-5, and school-aged. Even among these ages there is great

> variation and the services offered, while good, are not enough in

> time period. I was getting 8.5 hrs per week through our early

> intervention and other families asked me what I was doing to get so

> many hours. This is even when you show them statements from other

> professionals who state 20hrs minimum of ABA-based therapy. It's just

> not happening and the only way to supplement those hours is through

> our own wallets.

>

> So, for so many of us we have to do a literal " cost/benefit analysis "

> of how much in services vs. the impact providing those additional

> services is on our family. For some children the strain of the

> additional services might mean a divorced family, loss of a home, and

> no extended family support. However, the gains might mean a more

> normal life for our autistic member. It just seems that too often

> these are the very choices we must make and I think this is the root

> of the autism services problem. We can fight in our local areas for

> better services, but in the meantime our children are growing up and

> probably won't see the benefit, but future generations would. If they

> would just discover the cause/cure for autism the problem would be

> solved, at least for the next generation!

>

> Debi

>

> Hi debi you are so right what is needed is a uniform approach to this

epidemic that way choices like where to live would not be necessary my point

was that services are available to anyone who wants them.When people really

want aba for thier children there is a way to get it but it takes

sacraficing many things that may be important to the family well being at

the time.Where i was in n.c.i really felt that no services were available

that could help my daughter(1 hr ot/speach and 30 min music therapy)this i

felt was like using a squirt gun to battle a forrest fire.I know from

experience how it feels to watch the clock tick knowing that time cannot be

replaced but most other things can be. when i hear people say that they want

aba but cannot get it i feel compelled to tell my story i too felt the same

way.until we have a uniform approach drastic mesures are sometimes

necessary.the reality is the only thing preventing anyone from getting aba

rests between thier ears.aba may or may not h

> elp my daughter(i believe it will)but i am convinced the risk is worth the

reward.

>

> Best Wishes Steve

>

> but to say that services are only avalible to the wealthy is not the

> case! message have been removed]

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome !

I can understand wanting to get in shape living in Hawaii, those

beautiful beaches, all that sun. Congrats on deciding to make a

change, and good luck to you. Stay positive and focused on your

goals!

Jill

[Guest guest]

Haaaawwwwwaaaaiiiiiiiiiiii.....OOOOOOOOOOO

I'm so very jealous! Last September we spent our honeymoon in Maui

and flew to Oahu for one of the days to see Pearl Harbour

(anniversary of 9-11).

So beautiful!

Anyhow...welcome! You'll find tons of support here . We've all

been talking about where we're from, etc. We talk about so much

stuff including, of course, BFL. Questions?? Ask away!

JennA

> Hello all I am going to start my new life on Monday. I have just

> moved with my husband who is in the Army to Hawaii about three

weeks

> ago and I have seen all the beautiful people here and decided that

it

> was time to take control of my life and get back into shape. I am

a

> mother of four children ages 7g,5b,3g, and 2g. I have gotten

pretty

> lazy lately and have thought of every excuse to put off getting

back

> in shape.

>

> Well I am now moved into my house I have my household goods and

> there is no reason to not do it. So I have figured there is never

a

> better time to start then NOW. I found this group through a

website

> and thought wow I would love to have a place to go to to get

> support.

>

> I just wanted to introduce myself and say hello.

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group .

Debra

> Hello all I am going to start my new life on Monday. I have just

> moved with my husband who is in the Army to Hawaii about three

weeks

> ago and I have seen all the beautiful people here and decided that

it

> was time to take control of my life and get back into shape. I am

a

> mother of four children ages 7g,5b,3g, and 2g. I have gotten

pretty

> lazy lately and have thought of every excuse to put off getting

back

> in shape.

>

> Well I am now moved into my house I have my household goods and

> there is no reason to not do it. So I have figured there is never

a

> better time to start then NOW. I found this group through a

website

> and thought wow I would love to have a place to go to to get

> support.

>

> I just wanted to introduce myself and say hello.

[Guest guest]

Hi Laure,

I am the mom to a 20 year old, who is still at home with us, and we are

wondering about our options in the years to come, with his best interest at

heart, and our 'age' thing happening, being in the time of life where we have

lost our own parents in the past 8 years and seeing how fast 5 year blocks of

time wiz past! Grandkids are a wonderful reason to 'slow down and enjoy

life!'

I too have no support group near, no one in our area has DS-ASD and

Montyman has been misunderstood by all....until I found this group I thought

he was the only one in the world like he is, but I love reading these posts,

there is so much to glean here, lots of 'been there done that's...lots of

comfort, too.

I wanted to encourage you in the 'horrormoan' area. When Montyman, who

is functioning on a 3 to 5 year old level, started dealing with hormones, I

didnt know what I was going to do! It's funny how help comes. I met a man

thru our business who had a 24 year old Autistic son, (I had NO idea Montyman

was Autistic at the time) and he told me that when his son started with

'horrormoans' that he was aggressive, rude, with lots of opinions and actions

that the parents had NEVER witnessed before, but knew it was hormonal. The

dad made the statement that 'Thank God this time passes in about a year and

the 'horrormoans' level out!

I am so glad he made this statement, when Montyman went thru this I just

gave it time, and sure enough, it did pass. It is just strange, since we

were looking at him as a 4 year old....in a teenage body! Today he is a

grown 'man' with a young mind...hummmmm, like lots of 'men' I know who never

grew up. LOL!! He is back to his sweet nature again, loving life and

enjoying his mom and dad too. Hey, our own 'normal' kids went thru this!

They like us again, too! LOL

Montyman has one more year in public school (the baby-sitting place!)

and he does enjoy school alot, has a girlfriend there, and gets to go to

wal-mart and out to eat once a week with the class and his girlfriend! I

still dont know yet where we will go from here, am looking into the group

homes and home living ...we want keep him home as long as we are able, yet

that might not be the best for him....I have seen him really enjoying being

with his 'friends'.....dont wanna rob him of this. We will look at all our

options.

One thing I do know, life is short for all of us. I only have the 'now'

to enjoy, and I try to enjoy every minute! I am very thankful for every

.....well, almost every...LOL minute that I have with my son! Even when he

is 'trashing' the house, I'm glad he is here...well, ok,...maybe not at THAT

second, but most times. LOL

Welcome to the group.

Donna, Montyman's Mom

I

[Guest guest]

Laurie, I saw more aggression in Montyman before I realized more of HIS

communications. He is non-verbal and very 'quiet' with his 'ques' and it

took me a lot of really paying attention to see alot of these. He calmed

down alot more when he knew he was being understood.

I also had a downward spirral in my health. (i hate the age thing!)

Last year I was down for a week, and once Montyman accepted that I wasnt his

'right hand' he started doing more for himself. I was shocked! He didnt

like it, but I started requireing more from him. If I keep him in his

routine, things go pretty well.

Funny about these kids, the DS is huggy touchey, the Autism is stand

offish, the combination is strange, isnt it? LOL

Yes, SPRING!!! Montyman and I were out transplanting yesterday, it was

fun! Well, for me, anyway. He just sat in the golf cart and 'barked' at me.

LOL!!!

Donna, Montyman Mom

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the welcome Donna,

I have been reading the posting of the group; it is an amazing place

here.

Jon, my son seems to have a split personality, He can be very sweet

and loving, using good manners and behaving very correctly, to the

best of his emotional age – to a complete horror that is verbal

and

physically aggressive.

This isn't new to the teen years, but the hormonal levels have

brought it to a new and some times terrifying level.

What I fine surprising is that his teacher reports that she (for the

first time ever) see no negativity at school. While at home we have

seen some of his worse behaviors. I do realize it (in part) is

dealing with the teenage phase of I hate my parents. It also is

dealing with the fact that I (MOM) had a major fall in my health. I

can no longer give him the extreme amount of time and attention he

desires.

Ahhh but spring is on the way, I am sure it will help us all.

Laure

@@@

One thing I do know, life is short for all of us. I only have

the 'now'

to enjoy, and I try to enjoy every minute! I am very thankful for

every ....well, almost every...LOL minute that I have with my

son! Even when he is 'trashing' the house, I'm glad he is

here...well, ok,...maybe not at THAT second, but most times. LOL

Welcome to the group.

Donna, Montyman's Mom

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/6/2003 4:05:35 AM Eastern Standard Time,

shadowdragon_ld@... writes:

> Ahhh but spring is on the way, I am sure it will help us all.

>

> Laure

Indeed Laure!!!! Welcome to the group, from the *other* Donna on the list!!

Hey, the teenage thing is a nightmare!!! One is going to be 22, the

other 20 next week, one is 17 (he's proving to be the easiest so far, but

experience has shown me not to hold my breath) and I've got two more coming

up behind him. Duff (my DH) and I were just talking last week about how

much easier it was when they were two years old...LOL I'm hoping that

having all these teens before Maddie hits the dreaded years will prepare us

for her time.....of one thing I am feeling pretty confident

though....thankfully we won't be sitting up waiting for her to come home with

the car at 2 am.....LOL

Donna

[Guest guest]

>Laurie,

>I saw more aggression in Montyman before I realized >more of HIS

communications. He is non-verbal and >very 'quiet' with his 'ques'

and it took me a lot of >really paying attention to see alot of

these. He >calmed down alot more when he knew he was being

>understood.

>Donna Montyman Mom,

Jon is very verbal, thought he dose have a speech disorder and he

uses odd wording, he can be very hard to understand. He uses a lot

of echoing in his speech. We (his family) understand 90% or more of

what he is saying. His school teacher whom he has been with now for

two years understand about 75%. His specialist whom he has seen

since he been six can understand very little and is always asking

family to tell him what Jon is saying.

>I also had a downward spirral in my health. (i hate >the age

thing!) Last year I was down for a week, and >once Montyman accepted

that I wasnt his 'right hand' >he started doing more for himself. I

was shocked! He >didnt like it, but I started requireing more from

>him. If I keep him in his routine, things go pretty >well.

LOL I don't mind growing old but I sure as heck mine falling apart.

I came down with the bronchitis from hell back in October, even with

medical attention it turn in to congested heart failure in January.

For the first time since Jon was born I ended up in the hospital.

Jon was able to handle Dad stepping in to the roll of caregiver

while I was in the hospital. But I guess he wasn't able to handle

his anger at me for not being so. I wasn't out of the hospital 24

hours and we had the worse aggressive episode ever.

>Funny about these kids, the DS is huggy touchey, the >Autism is

stand offish, the combination is strange, >isnt it? LOL

Agreed.

>Yes, SPRING!!! Montyman and I were out transplanting >yesterday, it

was fun! Well, for me, anyway. He just >sat in the golf cart

and 'barked' at me. LOL!!!

>Donna, Montyman Mom

Yesterday we had our first peek at the ground since early October,

to day we had a good six inches of snow dump on us. The ground is

hidden again.

Still dreaming of spring,

Laure

[Guest guest]

Donna,

Thank you for the welcome.

I have two sons; my oldest is 26 and on his own. His teen years were

difficult at times. But compared to our youngest he was easy.

Don't be too sure about sitting up waiting.

My youngest, Jon has tried to get us to allow him to date a girl in

his class. He took some major fits because I will not let him.

Jon went to the point of running away from home over it. He made it

to my sister home (about a mile away) where he complained of his

outraged at his momma being so mean to him. When she informed him

that her daughter were not allowed to date at his age either, he

finally excepted my decision… for now… lol

They had this stupid addee working with him that was encouraging it,

even contacted me and said he would chaperon the kids. In my opinion

that man had a few screws lose.

Laure

> Indeed Laure!!!! Welcome to the group, from the *other* Donna on

the list!!

> Hey, the teenage thing is a nightmare!!! One is going to be

22, the

> other 20 next week, one is 17 (he's proving to be the easiest so

far, but

> experience has shown me not to hold my breath) and I've got two

more coming

> up behind him. Duff (my DH) and I were just talking last week

about how

> much easier it was when they were two years old...LOL I'm hoping

that

> having all these teens before Maddie hits the dreaded years will

prepare us

> for her time.....of one thing I am feeling pretty confident

> though....thankfully we won't be sitting up waiting for her to

come home with

> the car at 2 am.....LOL

> Donna

[Guest guest]

Donna and Laurie,

This is interesting. Rose has always been " do it for me " if she can get

away with it. I am always hounding her about basic politeness - like

holding the door for people behind her or helping put chairs away when asked

to do so. I swear I've seen her slam the door in front of someone who uses

a wheelchair. I always thought that she was just totally unaware of the

needs of others. But last year I twisted my knee badly and was really laid

up for a couple of days. I was amazed at how solicitous and helpful she

was-much more like the typical DS person. I wonder if it was the fact that

my need was very obvious and that she doesn't pick up on subtle needs or was

it just that it was Mom. Not that it lasted after I got on my feet again!

Mardi

P.S. The courthouse folks in their wisdom sent me a notice that they would

excuse Rose from Jury Duty after all!

on 3/6/03 6:48 AM, dtycer@... at dtycer@... wrote:

> Laurie, I saw more aggression in Montyman before I realized more of HIS

> communications. He is non-verbal and very 'quiet' with his 'ques' and it

> took me a lot of really paying attention to see alot of these. He calmed

> down alot more when he knew he was being understood.

> I also had a downward spirral in my health. (i hate the age thing!)

> Last year I was down for a week, and once Montyman accepted that I wasnt his

> 'right hand' he started doing more for himself. I was shocked! He didnt

> like it, but I started requireing more from him. If I keep him in his

> routine, things go pretty well.

> Funny about these kids, the DS is huggy touchey, the Autism is stand

> offish, the combination is strange, isnt it? LOL

> Yes, SPRING!!! Montyman and I were out transplanting yesterday, it was

> fun! Well, for me, anyway. He just sat in the golf cart and 'barked' at me.

> LOL!!!

> Donna, Montyman Mom

>

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