Re: so upset

[Guest guest]

Rose! You brought tears to my eyes this morning! Good tears though. I really appreciate your kind words. After years and years of struggling, it's nice to feel like our foundation is getting stronger and stronger.

For an update on my son and the school situation, we've scheduled an ARD and they are inviting the behavioral specialist in the district to participate. So far, everything I've requested has happened and school personnel have been great. Knock on wood! Although I still haven't heard from his Spec Ed folder teacher. That bothers me. But if we can make everything happen w/out that guy, who cares?

Your son is going to be fine too b/c he has a mom who is invested in him. You're right on target about your son needing to process all of this. I wouldn't let that boy come over again. If you did, it sends the wrong message to your son. Keep us posted on what happens!

Thanks again!

( ) so upset

My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his

friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and

he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose

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[Guest guest]

I can understand being hurt. My son had a friend , he thought at school. This boy some how stole my son's Nintendo games and re4fused to give them back. I told my son not to trust him anymore. This kid now won't even speak to my son. I think it's a shame people don't teach there kids morals anymore. If I had come home with something that wasn't mines my mom would ask me where I got it and made me give it back. Not so now...So sorry for your son, I feel your pain, the games he took were new..$30.00 each brand new. Kathy

[Guest guest]

I think learning from tv shows like that is a really great idea. I wonder why people would object to that? There is a good book I am (still) reading about friendship/social skills and some of the ideas use tv and movies. For kids to learn non-verbal communication skills, for example, he suggests you video tape soap operas and then play them back with the child and the sound off. Then the child has to figure out what is happening just from the gestures and expressions.

I should think a lot of the disney shows are great for teaching lessons on morality and friendship. I know my one ds loves "Drake and Josh" and frankly, me too. Those kids are so cute. But they act like real kids and they learn lessons about life that are universal - someone cheating you, not being a good friend, disobeying a parent and the results, etc.

This is a tough lesson regardless. I know we are working on dealing with neighborhood kids here. My ds is 11 and sometimes they allow him to be part of the group and other times they reject him. It is so crushing when he is being rejected - I want to go down there and choke every one of their scrawny little necks...er...I get a bit upset too. lol. One time, a father noticed that they were picking on our ds and he actually was kind enough to call us and let us know what was going on. He also talked to his ds about what he was doing and to the parents of the other kids. I was so impressed he went that far for our kid. This is probably the only reason I let my ds go down the street to play. But the kids still pick on him at times and are probably less obvious about it so they don't get caught.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) so upset

My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose

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[Guest guest]

I agree. Use this as a lesson in

what makes a true friend. Figuring out who is a “friend” is

usually hard for our kids. It is getting better for my son though it is

still hard. When he was in public school he thought if someone ate lunch “with

him” (usually this meant being at the same table) they were his friend.

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of MacAllister

Sent: Wednesday, February 27, 2008

7:11 AM

Subject: Re: ( ) so

upset

let's think about this

though...this is a good lesson about what is NOT a friend...I wouldn't talk

about this boy like he " was a friend " . Because he wasn't. Know

what I mean?

Re: ( ) so upset

Mims,

that's why I was so upset. more because he lost a friend which is

so hard for him to have - than him have that $15 dollars taken from him.

That's why he was so sad last night. because he was so happy to know he

had a friend. one that came over and called for " him " ...

not his sister, him... if my son didn't see me so upset, he would

not have minded at all about his money being taken, and continue to play

with that boy as if nothing happened. just to continue to have a

friend... that's my sad part.

thanks

Rose

Mims Batts

<mimsnj (DOT) com> wrote:

Rose

That's really rotten! I feel for your son and for

you. Making friends is hard enough. I hope your son isn't upset for

too long over this.

Mims

beachbodytan2002

<beachbodytan2002>

wrote:

My son met a new kid a

few years older than him. He would sit with

my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a

friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today

(3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his

room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they

came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a

while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back

into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked

what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home

and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was

missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed

it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my

son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his

drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money !

And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money.

he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It

was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the

kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll

talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I

still think my son will say something that might become a problem.

my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in

bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe " his friend " would

do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now

learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and

that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say

too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past,

when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find

it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to

do was steal from my son.

Just wanted to share our experience.

Rose

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[Guest guest]

I’ve never seen this show but

several people on this group say good things about it. I think we need to use

whatever means we have to help our kids learn life lessons. So, use this

incident of what his “friend” did to explain what a true friend is

and why this boy is not a friend.

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Rose

Sent: Wednesday, February 27, 2008

6:30 AM

Subject: RE: ( ) so

upset

,

I am already aware my son doesn't understand the 'game' manipulating

kids/people can play. the way I found out was, my kids were watching

a kids TV show, I think it was on the - sweet life of Zack and Cody.

- well any way someone was taking advantage of the rich girl (London Tipton)

spelling. she plays a vary naive part. and I was trying to explain

it to my son how that other person pretending to be her friend, really is

taking advantage of her. now my daughter didn't really understand

" what " the friend was doing as far as manipulating her,

but she at least knew that friend wasn't treating her right and wasn't a good

friend. So now she knows its called manipulating - but doesn't fully

understand that meaning. she is 9. so for my son, right now, it

just seems impossible for him to ever understand that. he just saw it

as: the friend was being so very nice and London was being so nice back. that's

all he understood. ugh!!! but at least my daughter got the idea

that the other girl wasn't being a good friend.

In the past, some people posted that they don't want there kids

learning from TV. but this is the only way my son can have a visual and

my explaining what's going on at the same time. I don't seem to catch

this manipulating in live action - lol - to teach him. so TV for now

helps. and that show Zack and Cody seem to have this

'malipulating' games alot.

Rose

Elgamal

<cindyelgamalsbcglobal (DOT) net> wrote:

Reading this made me think of

things my son still does. Lots of what he does is nice but sometimes I

feel he is being taken advantage of and he is almost 18! For example, I

volunteer at his school on Tuesdays and this is also the day the kids can order

pizza (it is a small private school and they don’t have a cafeteria so

they have to take their lunches). This school has two groups of kids

– high schoolers that take a regular curriculum in preparation for

college or a job and then a group of students with classical autism.

Today, when I was taking their orders one of the kids from this group

didn’t have money to order pizza and was standing at the desk insisting

that he wanted pizza. My son was also standing there and said, “Here

, I have some extra money and I will pay for yours.” This was

very nice and something that my son will do without hesitation. But, on

at least two recent occasions I feel he has definitely been taken advantage of

– he went to the mall with a “friend” (a girl) and both times

he has given her $20 or more to buy something for herself. And, she has

never offered to pay him back. Unfortunately, she only wants to be

friends when she wants something – us to take them to the mall, out to

eat, to a movie, etc. When she has something better to do she ignores

him. And, bless his heart he has no clue as to how manipulating she

is. So, we are talking about manipulation and how to recognize it/deal

with it whenever the opportunity arises! The school also sees this issue

and the counselor is working with him to help him learn to deal with this.

From:

[mailto: ]

On Behalf Of MacAllister

Sent: Tuesday, February 26, 2008

10:32 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) so

upset

Rose,

So sorry to hear about this. When my son was in the 5th grade, he

took his Yu-Gi-Oh cards to school for trades. He would trade cards he

knew were really good for cards not so good, just to feel a part of the

group. But I could tell after he kept losing card after card, he started

to get sick of it. He started standing up for himself and not letting

kids take advantage of his kindness. He was doing so much better and then

someone stole his deck out of his backpack. Never found out who did

it. Fortunately it was one of several decks, but it had some really

valuable cards in it. Dylan was just heartbroken. It was very

painful at the time, but I think it taught Dylan a valuable lesson in the long

run. He's still super compassionate, split his money w/ a girl on a field

trip b/c her parents didn't send any extra for her and she was sad, handed his

candy to a little girl in line one time after she spilled hers on the ground

and mom didn't have any more money, etc... and I've stopped trying to

talk him out of these types of behaviors. He's being a sweet kid.

As long as he's not being taken advantage of, I'll let it continue. I see

Dylan in 20 years being the man who passes out $100 bills on the street to

random strangers. That's my boy!

But to have a boy over to play and this happens...just so

sad. I feel for your son and I feel for the boy who stole the

money. I suspect he's not going anywhere in his life. I'm glad your

son has such a wonderful mom who does everything she can to support and care

for him. Hope you figure out who the boy is and you're able to talk with

his parents, although I suspect it won't do much good.

Big, big hug from Austin, TX

this evening...

( ) so upset

My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with

my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a

friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today

(3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his

room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they

came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a

while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back

into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked

what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home

and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was

missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed

it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my

son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his

drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money !

And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money.

he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It

was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the

kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll

talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I

still think my son will say something that might become a problem.

my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in

bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe " his friend " would

do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now

learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and

that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say

too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past,

when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find

it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to

do was steal from my son.

Just wanted to share our experience.

Rose

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them fast with Search.

[Guest guest]

I think you were right in letting him learn that not all people can be trusted. We live in a big city and there are lots of cultures here and everyone is so very different and come from different walks of life that I to have tried to teach austin about how different everyone can be and what the social acceptance is. My son is so trusting and I love that about him the innocence and a very loving child. But for his own good I know he has to learn the bad now while he is young and I can help him through it. As an adult I may not be able to help him through it. Growing Pains we all go through them. Best of Luck.Ada TickleEydie <twinsmom40219@...> wrote: I am sooo sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your son. Eydie ( ) so upset My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to

the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th

grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son. Just wanted to share our experience. Rose

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[Guest guest]

I never thought of soap operas (great idea) because I was never into them. But I can see that too as a good teaching on - non-verbal - communication skills. *my sons weak area*. Drake and Josh does have lots of real life experiences with that show. My kids love that show and understand it better when I ask questions like, why do you think she/he did that? or what do you think would happen if they continue to do that? or what should they have done that wouldn't get them into that mess? they are now doing more shows with Josh and Drake being so interested in girls. I thought that was good for my son to watch and for us to talk about it. Yes, I find this challenging as well. as for the neighborhood kids. we have some that I would love for my

kids to have them as friends. then we have "those kids". LOL, I'm trying to teach my son the difference. Roxanna, its so amazing how quick my NT daughter, 1 year younger, will pick up on everything and see that my son doesn't get it and try to give him that wake up call... To me, it seems like she is so very advanced for her age. but I think she is age average and just looks so advanced because my son is so delayed with social skills. I'm so happy for you and your son about - that father was able to see what was happening with your son and MAN enough to approach you and try to help out. good for him...I hope as the neighborhood kids get "corrected" enough, they will stop those rude/cruel behaviors. and your son can find at least "one good friend" he can count

on. Roxanna, have you heard of or do you have a "Big Buddy Program" in your county? I think thats an awesome program and if you can't find a big buddy to take your son out, maybe you can become a big buddy and take out a child your son's age and help them be friends by doing fun things together. I know you are a very busy involved mom with not much time on you hands. but you only need to buddy once a month or more if you want. Do you think that would work for you and your son?. I love that program.. Rose. Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: I think learning from tv shows like that is a really great idea. I wonder why people would object to that? There is a good book I am (still) reading about friendship/social skills and some of the ideas use tv and movies. For kids to learn non-verbal communication skills, for example, he suggests you video tape soap operas and then play them back with the child and the sound off. Then the child has to figure out what is happening just from the gestures and expressions. I should think a lot of the disney shows are great for teaching

lessons on morality and friendship. I know my one ds loves "Drake and Josh" and frankly, me too. Those kids are so cute. But they act like real kids and they learn lessons about life that are universal - someone cheating you, not being a good friend, disobeying a parent and the results, etc. This is a tough lesson regardless. I know we are working on dealing with neighborhood kids here. My ds is 11 and sometimes they allow him to be part of the group and other times they reject him. It is so crushing when he is being rejected - I want to go down there and choke every one of their scrawny little necks...er...I get a bit upset too. lol. One time, a father noticed that they were picking on our ds and he actually was kind enough to call us and let us know what was going on. He also

talked to his ds about what he was doing and to the parents of the other kids. I was so impressed he went that far for our kid. This is probably the only reason I let my ds go down the street to play. But the kids still pick on him at times and are probably less obvious about it so they don't get caught. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) so upset My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the

family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that

might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute

shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

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[Guest guest]

Ada, ain't that so hard? to let them learn this on their own? but I have to. thanks RoseAda Akers <adamakers_1@...> wrote: I think you were right in letting him learn that not all people can be trusted. We live in a big city and there are lots of cultures here and everyone is so very different and come from different walks of life that I to have tried to teach austin about how different everyone can be and what the social acceptance is. My son is so trusting and I love that about him the

innocence and a very loving child. But for his own good I know he has to learn the bad now while he is young and I can help him through it. As an adult I may not be able to help him through it. Growing Pains we all go through them. Best of Luck.Ada TickleEydie <twinsmom40219aim> wrote: I am sooo sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your son. Eydie ( ) so upsetMy son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit withmy son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have

afriend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today(3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into hisroom and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. theycame out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for awhile. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went backinto my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he askedwhat time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go homeand left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything wasmissing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he neededit and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked myson where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in hisdrawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money !And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money.he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone.

(Itwas $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to thekid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'lltalk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but Istill think my son will say something that might become a problem.my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's inbed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" woulddo that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can nowlearn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones andthat's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to saytoo much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past,when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him findit. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted todo was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

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[Guest guest]

, I can relate to that. same with my son. but he can tell you what a friend is, because he was taught, but he hasn't applied it to real life yet. thanks Rose Elgamal <cindyelgamal@...> wrote: I agree. Use this as a lesson in what makes a true friend. Figuring out who is a “friend” is usually hard for our kids. It is

getting better for my son though it is still hard. When he was in public school he thought if someone ate lunch “with him” (usually this meant being at the same table) they were his friend. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

MacAllisterSent: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 7:11 AM Subject: Re: ( ) so upset let's think about this though...this is a good lesson about what is NOT a friend...I wouldn't talk about this boy like he "was a friend". Because he wasn't. Know what I mean? Re: ( ) so upset Mims, that's why I was so upset. more because he lost a friend which is so hard for him to have - than him have that $15 dollars taken from him. That's why he was so sad last night. because he was so happy to know he had a friend. one that came over and called for "him"... not his sister, him... if my son didn't see me so upset, he would not have minded at all about his money being taken, and continue to play with that boy as if nothing happened.

just to continue to have a friend... that's my sad part. thanks Rose Mims Batts <mimsnj (DOT) com> wrote: Rose That's really rotten! I feel for your son and for you. Making friends is hard enough. I hope your son isn't upset for too long over

this. Mimsbeachbodytan2002 <beachbodytan2002> wrote: My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and

other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he

lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

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, I agree, this show does seem to be good for a good learning/teaching tool. He can understand a little better with the visual by watching it on TV and liking the show. thanks Rose Elgamal <cindyelgamal@...> wrote: I’ve never seen this show but several people on this group say good things about it. I think we need to use whatever

means we have to help our kids learn life lessons. So, use this incident of what his “friend” did to explain what a true friend is and why this boy is not a friend. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoseSent: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 6:30 AM Subject: RE: ( ) so upset , I am already aware my son doesn't understand the 'game' manipulating kids/people can play. the way I found out was, my kids were watching a kids TV show, I think it was on the - sweet life of Zack and Cody. - well any way someone was taking advantage of the rich girl (London

Tipton) spelling. she plays a vary naive part. and I was trying to explain it to my son how that other person pretending to be her friend, really is taking advantage of her. now my daughter didn't really understand " what " the friend was doing as far as manipulating her, but she at least knew that friend wasn't treating her right and wasn't a good friend. So now she knows its called manipulating - but doesn't fully understand that meaning. she is 9. so for my son, right now, it just seems impossible for him to ever understand that. he just saw it as: the friend was being so very nice and London was being so nice back. that's all he understood. ugh!!! but at least my daughter got the idea that the other girl wasn't being a good friend. In the past, some people posted that they don't want there kids learning from TV. but this is the only way my son can have a visual and my explaining what's going on at the same time. I don't seem to catch this manipulating in live action - lol - to teach him. so TV for now helps. and that show Zack and Cody seem to have this 'malipulating' games alot. Rose Elgamal <cindyelgamalsbcglobal (DOT) net> wrote: Reading this made me think of

things my son still does. Lots of what he does is nice but sometimes I feel he is being taken advantage of and he is almost 18! For example, I volunteer at his school on Tuesdays and this is also the day the kids can order pizza (it is a small private school and they don’t have a cafeteria so they have to take their lunches). This school has two groups of kids – high schoolers that take a regular curriculum in preparation for college or a job and then a group of students with classical autism. Today, when I was taking their orders one of the kids from this group didn’t have money to order pizza and was standing at the desk insisting that he wanted pizza. My son was also standing there and said, “Here , I have some extra money and I will pay for yours.” This was very nice and something that my son will do without hesitation. But, on at least two recent occasions I feel he has definitely been taken advantage of – he went to the

mall with a “friend” (a girl) and both times he has given her $20 or more to buy something for herself. And, she has never offered to pay him back. Unfortunately, she only wants to be friends when she wants something – us to take them to the mall, out to eat, to a movie, etc. When she has something better to do she ignores him. And, bless his heart he has no clue as to how manipulating she is. So, we are talking about manipulation and how to recognize it/deal with it whenever the opportunity arises! The school also sees this issue and the counselor is working with him to help him learn to deal with this. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of MacAllisterSent: Tuesday, February 26, 2008 10:32 PM Subject: Re: ( ) so

upset Rose, So sorry to hear about this. When my son was in the 5th grade, he took his Yu-Gi-Oh cards to school for trades. He would trade cards he knew were really good for cards not so good, just to feel a part of the group. But I could tell after he kept losing card after card, he started to get sick of it. He started standing up for himself and not letting kids take advantage of his kindness. He was doing so much better and then someone stole his deck out of his backpack. Never found out who did it. Fortunately it was one of several decks, but it had some

really valuable cards in it. Dylan was just heartbroken. It was very painful at the time, but I think it taught Dylan a valuable lesson in the long run. He's still super compassionate, split his money w/ a girl on a field trip b/c her parents didn't send any extra for her and she was sad, handed his candy to a little girl in line one time after she spilled hers on the ground and mom didn't have any more money, etc... and I've stopped trying to talk him out of these types of behaviors. He's being a sweet kid. As long as he's not being taken advantage of, I'll let it continue. I see Dylan in 20 years being the man who passes out $100 bills on the street to random strangers. That's my boy! But to have a boy over to play and this happens...just so sad. I feel for

your son and I feel for the boy who stole the money. I suspect he's not going anywhere in his life. I'm glad your son has such a wonderful mom who does everything she can to support and care for him. Hope you figure out who the boy is and you're able to talk with his parents, although I suspect it won't do much good. Big, big hug from Austin, TX this evening... ( ) so upset My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing

from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and

that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find

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Eydie, after reading so many responses from all you great caring parents. I'm getting stronger!! thanks Rose.Eydie <twinsmom40219@...> wrote: I am sooo sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your son. Eydie ( ) so upsetMy son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit withmy son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have afriend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today(3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into hisroom and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. theycame out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for awhile. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went backinto my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he askedwhat time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go homeand left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything wasmissing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he neededit and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked myson where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in hisdrawer. He

got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money !And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money.he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (Itwas $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to thekid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'lltalk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but Istill think my son will say something that might become a problem.my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's inbed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" woulddo that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can nowlearn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones andthat's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to saytoo much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past,when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him findit. and he was so

happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted todo was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose

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LOL I can hear your excitement. I agree and glad so many others agree too. hugs Rose<cmcintosh5@...> wrote: MY Son loves that show.. Zach and Cody!! Too cute.. Yes.. They do see social situations For what they are in that show.. And its their age group

too and not a cartoon.! -- Re: ( ) so upset I think learning from tv shows like that is a really great idea. I wonder why people would object to that? There is a good book I am (still) reading about friendship/social skills and some of the ideas use

tv and movies. For kids to learn non-verbal communication skills, for example, he suggests you video tape soap operas and then play them back with the child and the sound off. Then the child has to figure out what is happening just from the gestures and expressions. I should think a lot of the disney shows are great for teaching lessons on morality and friendship. I know my one ds loves "Drake and Josh" and frankly, me too. Those kids are so cute. But they act like real kids and they learn lessons about life that are universal - someone cheating you, not being a good friend, disobeying a parent and the results, etc. This is a tough lesson regardless. I know we are working on

dealing with neighborhood kids here. My ds is 11 and sometimes they allow him to be part of the group and other times they reject him. It is so crushing when he is being rejected - I want to go down there and choke every one of their scrawny little necks...er...I get a bit upset too. lol. One time, a father noticed that they were picking on our ds and he actually was kind enough to call us and let us know what was going on. He also talked to his ds about what he was doing and to the parents of the other kids. I was so impressed he went that far for our kid. This is probably the only reason I let my ds go down the street to play. But the kids still pick on him at times and are probably less obvious about it so they don't get caught. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) so upset My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy

to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and

his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our

experience.Rose Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

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, yes, I do know what you mean, and I'm hoping my son will soon find out as well. I will see and let you all know what happens and how my son handled this situation the next time he comes over. He did say, if school is closed Wednesday (which it is) he's come over. we'll see. Rose MacAllister <smacalli@...> wrote: let's think about this though...this is a good lesson about what is NOT a friend...I wouldn't talk about this boy like he "was a friend". Because he wasn't. Know what I mean? Re: ( ) so upset Mims, that's why I was so upset. more because he lost a friend which is so hard for him to have - than him have that $15 dollars taken from him. That's why he was so sad last night. because he was so happy to know he had a friend. one that came over and called for "him"... not his sister, him... if my son didn't see me so upset, he would not have minded

at all about his money being taken, and continue to play with that boy as if nothing happened. just to continue to have a friend... that's my sad part. thanks Rose Mims Batts <mimsnj (DOT) com> wrote: Rose That's really rotten! I feel for your son and for you. Making friends is hard enough. I hope your son isn't upset for too long over this. Mimsbeachbodytan2002 <beachbodytan2002> wrote: My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in

middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It

was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

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so glad to hear things are starting to look good at school and they are actually doing everything you requested... Now that made my day !!! *smile*. no, that boy won't be allowed into our home again. that would send the wrong message to both boys. and my daughter.. Rose MacAllister <smacalli@...> wrote: Rose! You brought tears to my eyes this morning! Good tears though. I

really appreciate your kind words. After years and years of struggling, it's nice to feel like our foundation is getting stronger and stronger. For an update on my son and the school situation, we've scheduled an ARD and they are inviting the behavioral specialist in the district to participate. So far, everything I've requested has happened and school personnel have been great. Knock on wood! Although I still haven't heard from his Spec Ed folder teacher. That bothers me. But if we can make everything happen w/out that guy, who cares? Your son is going to be fine too b/c he has a mom who is invested in him. You're right on target about your son needing to process all of this. I wouldn't let that boy come over again. If you did, it sends the wrong message to your son. Keep us posted on what happens! Thanks

again! ( ) so upset My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the -

bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and

this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

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Kathy, we can't expect those kids to have morals if their parents don't have them. Yes, I've met with those parents. there's just no talking to them. others already knew that about them. I just found out late because we didn't grow up - here. they all grew up together and said they were that was as kids, now they are that way as parents, and now their kids are that way. LOL genetic I guess. Rose <katherin_carter@...> wrote: I

can understand being hurt. My son had a friend , he thought at school. This boy some how stole my son's Nintendo games and re4fused to give them back. I told my son not to trust him anymore. This kid now won't even speak to my son. I think it's a shame people don't teach there kids morals anymore. If I had come home with something that wasn't mines my mom would ask me where I got it and made me give it back. Not so now...So sorry for your son, I feel your pain, the games he took were new..$30.00 each brand new. Kathy

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Oh wow, Kathy. THat is just aweful!

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) Re: so upset

I can understand being hurt. My son had a friend , he thought at school. This boy some how stole my son's Nintendo games and re4fused to give them back. I told my son not to trust him anymore. This kid now won't even speak to my son. I think it's a shame people don't teach there kids morals anymore. If I had come home with something that wasn't mines my mom would ask me where I got it and made me give it back. Not so now...So sorry for your son, I feel your pain, the games he took were new..$30.00 each brand new. Kathy

[Guest guest]

I agree Roxanna< we watch drake and josh as well as the suite life and hannah montanna and some others.SherryRoxanna <madideas@...> wrote: I think learning from tv shows like that is a really great idea. I wonder why people would object to that? There is a good book I am (still) reading about friendship/social skills and some of the ideas use tv and movies. For kids to learn non-verbal communication skills, for example, he suggests you video tape soap operas and then

play them back with the child and the sound off. Then the child has to figure out what is happening just from the gestures and expressions. I should think a lot of the disney shows are great for teaching lessons on morality and friendship. I know my one ds loves "Drake and Josh" and frankly, me too. Those kids are so cute. But they act like real kids and they learn lessons about life that are universal - someone cheating you, not being a good friend, disobeying a parent and the results, etc. This is a tough lesson regardless. I know we are working on dealing with neighborhood kids here. My ds is 11 and sometimes they allow him to be part of the group and other times they

reject him. It is so crushing when he is being rejected - I want to go down there and choke every one of their scrawny little necks...er...I get a bit upset too. lol. One time, a father noticed that they were picking on our ds and he actually was kind enough to call us and let us know what was going on. He also talked to his ds about what he was doing and to the parents of the other kids. I was so impressed he went that far for our kid. This is probably the only reason I let my ds go down the street to play. But the kids still pick on him at times and are probably less obvious about it so they don't get caught. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) so upset My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on

the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money.

he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our

experience.Rose Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

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That might be an idea. I have thought of that from time to time. Once we did that with another kid who has AS and our older ds (hfa) when they were pre-teens. It ended up not working out because the boys just never got along. The AS kid was just nothing like my kid. He seemed more ODD than AS - he enjoyed causing problems for people. He also called my kid names all the time. My ds went through a "pudgy" phase and this other kid would see me and ask, "How's fat kid doing?"

So, wow, we definitely picked the wrong kid. <g> But it is not something we would not try for our ds. It's just finding a kid that he can connect with and who likes hanging out with him.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) so upset

My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose

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Sherry, are you sure you don't live here. LOL, that's the same shows my kids watch. Rosesherry burford <superchick0770@...> wrote: I agree Roxanna< we watch drake and josh as well as the suite life and hannah montanna and some others.SherryRoxanna <madideaszoominternet (DOT) net> wrote: I think learning from tv shows like that is a really

great idea. I wonder why people would object to that? There is a good book I am (still) reading about friendship/social skills and some of the ideas use tv and movies. For kids to learn non-verbal communication skills, for example, he suggests you video tape soap operas and then play them back with the child and the sound off. Then the child has to figure out what is happening just from the gestures and expressions. I should think a lot of the disney shows are great for teaching lessons on morality and friendship. I know my one ds loves "Drake and Josh" and frankly, me too. Those kids are so cute. But they act like real kids and they learn lessons about life that are universal - someone cheating you, not being a good friend, disobeying a parent and the results, etc. This is a tough lesson regardless. I know we are working on dealing with neighborhood kids here. My ds is 11 and sometimes they allow him to be part of the group and other times they reject him. It is so crushing when he is being rejected - I want to go down there and choke every one of their scrawny little necks...er...I get a bit upset too. lol. One time, a father noticed that they were picking on our ds and he actually was kind enough to call us and let us know what was going on. He also talked to his ds about what he was doing and to the parents of the other kids. I was so impressed he went that far for our kid. This is probably the only reason I let my ds go down the street to play. But the kids still pick on him at times and are probably less obvious about it so they don't get caught. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) so upset My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he

wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not

to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

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I know sometimes it is so surreal how much we have in common,LOL it is so great to have that connection though ,Hugs to you and your family from oursSherryRose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: Sherry, are you sure you don't live here. LOL, that's the same shows my kids watch. Rosesherry burford <superchick0770 > wrote: I agree Roxanna< we watch drake and josh as well as the

suite life and hannah montanna and some others.SherryRoxanna <madideaszoominternet (DOT) net> wrote: I think learning from tv shows like that is a really great idea. I wonder why people would object to that? There is a good book I am (still) reading about friendship/social skills and some of the ideas use tv and movies. For kids to learn non-verbal communication skills, for example, he suggests you video tape soap operas and then play them back with the child and the sound off. Then the child has to figure out what is happening just from the gestures and expressions. I should think a lot of the disney shows are great for teaching lessons on morality

and friendship. I know my one ds loves "Drake and Josh" and frankly, me too. Those kids are so cute. But they act like real kids and they learn lessons about life that are universal - someone cheating you, not being a good friend, disobeying a parent and the results, etc. This is a tough lesson regardless. I know we are working on dealing with neighborhood kids here. My ds is 11 and sometimes they allow him to be part of the group and other times they reject him. It is so crushing when he is being rejected - I want to go down there and choke every one of their scrawny little necks...er...I get a bit upset too. lol. One time, a father noticed that they were picking on our ds and he actually was kind enough to call us and let us know what was going on. He also talked to his ds about

what he was doing and to the parents of the other kids. I was so impressed he went that far for our kid. This is probably the only reason I let my ds go down the street to play. But the kids still pick on him at times and are probably less obvious about it so they don't get caught. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) so upset My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy

went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in

5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

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[Guest guest]

Rose, Back at ya hon, it is something b/c sometimes its as if i wrote what u are feeling or u wrote exactly how i feel or what i think or what i am going thru that is why i joined a support group for "support " > thanks again sweetie, SherryRose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: Sherry, you are so sweet !!! thats why I can relate so much when I read post like this from others...sherry burford <superchick0770 > wrote: Rose how awful that someone would take such advantage of your son, i don't blame him for being so upset, i am sending big hugs and lots of love, thoughts and prayers to you all, hopefully he will be okay soon.Sherrybeachbodytan2002 <beachbodytan2002 > wrote: My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked

what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend"

would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with

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[Guest guest]

MY Son loves that show.. Zach and Cody!! Too cute.. Yes.. They do see social situations

For what they are in that show.. And its their age group too and not a cartoon.!

-- Re: ( ) so upset

I think learning from tv shows like that is a really great idea. I wonder why people would object to that? There is a good book I am (still) reading about friendship/social skills and some of the ideas use tv and movies. For kids to learn non-verbal communication skills, for example, he suggests you video tape soap operas and then play them back with the child and the sound off. Then the child has to figure out what is happening just from the gestures and expressions.

I should think a lot of the disney shows are great for teaching lessons on morality and friendship. I know my one ds loves "Drake and Josh" and frankly, me too. Those kids are so cute. But they act like real kids and they learn lessons about life that are universal - someone cheating you, not being a good friend, disobeying a parent and the results, etc.

This is a tough lesson regardless. I know we are working on dealing with neighborhood kids here. My ds is 11 and sometimes they allow him to be part of the group and other times they reject him. It is so crushing when he is being rejected - I want to go down there and choke every one of their scrawny little necks...er...I get a bit upset too. lol. One time, a father noticed that they were picking on our ds and he actually was kind enough to call us and let us know what was going on. He also talked to his ds about what he was doing and to the parents of the other kids. I was so impressed he went that far for our kid. This is probably the only reason I let my ds go down the street to play. But the kids still pick on him at times and are probably less obvious about it so they don't get caught.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) so upset

My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose

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[Guest guest]

Sherry, your welcome, and thank you !! sherry burford <superchick0770@...> wrote: Rose, Back at ya hon, it is something b/c sometimes its as if i wrote what u are feeling or u wrote exactly how i feel or what i think or what i am going thru that is why i joined a support group for "support " > thanks again sweetie, SherryRose <beachbodytan2002 > wrote: Sherry, you are so

sweet !!! thats why I can relate so much when I read post like this from others...sherry burford <superchick0770 > wrote: Rose how awful that someone would take such advantage of your son, i don't blame him for being so upset, i am sending big hugs and lots of love, thoughts and prayers to you all, hopefully he will be okay soon.Sherrybeachbodytan2002 <beachbodytan2002 > wrote: My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and

other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he

lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our experience.Rose Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

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[Guest guest]

RIGHT BACK AT YOU... hugs from all of us to all of yousherry burford <superchick0770@...> wrote: I know sometimes it is so surreal how much we have in common,LOL it is so great to have that connection though ,Hugs to you and your family from oursSherryRose <beachbodytan2002 > wrote: Sherry, are you sure you don't live here. LOL, that's the same shows my kids

watch. Rosesherry burford <superchick0770 > wrote: I agree Roxanna< we watch drake and josh as well as the suite life and hannah montanna and some others.SherryRoxanna <madideaszoominternet (DOT) net> wrote: I think learning from tv shows like that is a really great idea. I wonder why people would object to that? There is a good book I am (still) reading about friendship/social skills and some of the ideas use tv and movies. For kids to learn non-verbal communication skills, for example, he suggests you video tape soap operas and then play them back with the child and the sound off. Then the child has to figure out what is

happening just from the gestures and expressions. I should think a lot of the disney shows are great for teaching lessons on morality and friendship. I know my one ds loves "Drake and Josh" and frankly, me too. Those kids are so cute. But they act like real kids and they learn lessons about life that are universal - someone cheating you, not being a good friend, disobeying a parent and the results, etc. This is a tough lesson regardless. I know we are working on dealing with neighborhood kids here. My ds is 11 and sometimes they allow him to be part of the group and other times they reject him. It is so crushing when he is being rejected - I want to go down there and choke

every one of their scrawny little necks...er...I get a bit upset too. lol. One time, a father noticed that they were picking on our ds and he actually was kind enough to call us and let us know what was going on. He also talked to his ds about what he was doing and to the parents of the other kids. I was so impressed he went that far for our kid. This is probably the only reason I let my ds go down the street to play. But the kids still pick on him at times and are probably less obvious about it so they don't get caught. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) so upset My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would sit with my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy

to have a friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house today (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into his room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had. they came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went back into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he needed it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked my son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in his drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money ! And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money. he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and

his money was gone. (It was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I still think my son will say something that might become a problem. my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe "his friend" would do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones and that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to say too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past, when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted to do was steal from my son.Just wanted to share our

experience.Rose Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Never miss a thing. Make your

homepage. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

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[Guest guest]

I too understand your feelings. My ds experienced having things

taken from him from what a cousin of his age. He talked like he

wanted to spend time with this cousin and then I find out he has

stolen his game boy. It was discovered of course by accident. My ds

feels he doesn't have friends so he is not wanting to make a big

deal about things especially since he did get it back.

I've actually seen my son come to tears. That rips my heart out for

him.

We've been going to couseling and we spoke about this subject last

evening and engaged in role playing. I feel like it might have

actually helped him.

It doesn't change the hurt but it did seem to lessen it abit to also

feel like he could address it.

We also attended a forum on asperger last week and I took my ds with

me. I think it was helpful to see so many others there. It helps to

take away alittle of that feeling alone in the world especially on

peer level.

Ginny

> My son met a new kid a few years older than him. He would

sit with

> my son on the school bus sometimes. My son was so happy to have a

> friend and in middle school. Well this boy come over the house

today

> (3rd time in 2 years) to play with my son. My son took him into

his

> room and let him play with his toy guns and other toys he had.

they

> came out from his room and stayed playing in the family room for a

> while. when the boy went to the - bathroom - I thought. he went

back

> into my son's room. As soon as the kids went to get him, he asked

> what time it was. as soon as they said the time, he had to go home

> and left. that was my red flag. I asked my son if anything was

> missing from his room? which I knew he wouldn't know until he

needed

> it and couldn't find it. which can be months later. I then asked

my

> son where he kept his money? (birthday and Christmas) he said in

his

> drawer. He got upset and said his friend wouldn't take his money !

> And why would I think that way?. I asked him to show me his money.

> he opened his drawer to prove me wrong and his money was gone. (It

> was $15.00) but the money was his. Now, he wants to speak to the

> kid. I told him not to, when that boy ask to come over again, I'll

> talk to him. (we don't know where he lives or his last name) but I

> still think my son will say something that might become a problem.

> my son is in 5th grade and this boy is in 8th. right now, he's in

> bed and so sad and hurt because he can't believe " his friend "

would

> do that to him. as I'm feeling sad for him, I'm hoping he can now

> learn that some people can't be trusted, especially the nice ones

and

> that's why I tell him not to talk to strangers. I didn't want to

say

> too much tonight because I never saw him that hurt. in the past,

> when ever he lost something, kids would return it or help him find

> it. and he was so happy to have a 'friend' and all this kid wanted

to

> do was steal from my son.

> Just wanted to share our experience.

> Rose

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with

Mobile. Try it now.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with

Mobile. Try it now.

>