Re: My son has sleeping issues too

[Guest guest]

Very much so! Thank you! =)

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

... well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can

we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

...

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but he is

always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys.. well,

we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can we talk?? it

seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Jenn,

I don't know how to open a chat group. But I'm sure there are people on this

site that does. If you have a mic. you can talk to many people because its a

live private chat. with the people that you invite in. like from this

group....

I couldn't continue to go to the support group here because its at night.

Passed my kids bed time. LOL and mine.

What do you think about that online chat group? its like talking on the

phone, with many people.

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

Hi Rose,

I agree it would be hard for the whole group to meet especially with our

group covering such a wide geographical span. Robin and I were just talking

about how far she and I lived from one another, I'm not sure who's idea it

was for the whole group to meet.

I'm a member of an ASD support group here locally, but it's just started and

has only had one meeting so far and of course, just my luck, I couldn't make

it to the first one lol I'm hoping to make it to the second though.

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

I think it's a really good idea. I don't have a mic myself, but I'm sure

others here do who may be interested

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

They aren't expensive. I don't have one either. Some computers have them built

in. I bet you would get lots of responses. either to exchange numbers or start

you own chat group.

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: I think it's a really good idea. I

don't have a mic myself, but I'm sure

others here do who may be interested

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

I know, I've had several, I just don't have a working one right now and

never bothered to get another because we never used the last one.

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Let's get started!!

Robin (Mom of Ian, 10 yrs old, aspergers/adhd/mild tourettes)

Fond du Lac, WI Home # 920-923-1566.

jrisjs@...

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

ugh Isn't that miserable? Maybe some of us in the group would like to

at

least swap numbers or something? Sometimes it's easier and more comforting

to be able to *talk* talk as opposed to writing. Maybe we could set up a

database of who would want to along with the best times for them to talk? I

don't know if that's a good idea or if it can be worked on, but it's a

thought. I wouldn't mind sharing my number and I have free long distance to

any where in the continental US. I dunno, it's a thought lol

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

.. well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

..

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

I replied but not sure if it went through so I'm trying again lol Sorry if

there are duplicates

My number is 740-598-8015 and I'm in Brilliant, Ohio

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

... well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can

we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

...

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Jenn.

Got a question. What does the AEP in your list of " credentials " mean?

Also,,,,,,is your daughter formally dx's with anxiety or is it something you

definitely see and know is going on.

One of my daughters is very anxious. We've never had her formally

dx,,,,,,,,jsut try to deal with it. School knows,,,,,they help a lot, too.

Robin

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

I replied but not sure if it went through so I'm trying again lol

Sorry if

there are duplicates

My number is 740-598-8015 and I'm in Brilliant, Ohio

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

... well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can

we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

...

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

AEP information can be found here: http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-parent

htm

You're an AEP, too! =D

h's Anxiety was officially diagnosed by a psychologist. I originally

took her for an evaluation of OCD. She doesn't have the OCD, but she does

show some mild symptoms of it. The doctor said that's common in someone with

anxiety because it's another form of anxiety. (I'm not sure how she worded

it exactly, but that's what she meant).

It's so good to hear that the school helps a lot with your daughter, what a

difference that makes! =)

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

.... well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can

we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

....

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Jenn! I love the AEP! I have always wondered what that meant.

Thanks,

Liz

Houston

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

AEP information can be found here:

http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-parent

htm

You're an AEP, too! =D

h's Anxiety was officially diagnosed by a psychologist. I originally

took her for an evaluation of OCD. She doesn't have the OCD, but she does

show some mild symptoms of it. The doctor said that's common in someone with

anxiety because it's another form of anxiety. (I'm not sure how she worded

it exactly, but that's what she meant).

It's so good to hear that the school helps a lot with your daughter, what a

difference that makes! =)

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

.... well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can

we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

....

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

You're welcome! =)

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

..... well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can

we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

.....

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Im centrally located too! Im about 2 hours straight south of Chicago.

---------------------------------

We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

[Guest guest]

Yee-ha!!! I love it!!!!

Thanks for the smile!!

Robin

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

AEP information can be found here:

http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-parent

htm

You're an AEP, too! =D

h's Anxiety was officially diagnosed by a psychologist. I originally

took her for an evaluation of OCD. She doesn't have the OCD, but she does

show some mild symptoms of it. The doctor said that's common in someone with

anxiety because it's another form of anxiety. (I'm not sure how she worded

it exactly, but that's what she meant).

It's so good to hear that the school helps a lot with your daughter, what a

difference that makes! =)

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

.... well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can

we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

....

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

My husband is from Olney, IL (quite southern). Do you know it?

Robin

Amy McCarty <luvmy2arabians@...> wrote:

Im centrally located too! Im about 2 hours straight south of Chicago.

---------------------------------

We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

[Guest guest]

lol You're welcome! =)

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

..... well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can

we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

.....

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

I don't know if I have a microphone either , I'd have to ask my kids. I think

you can also set up a chat room and people can just go in and chat in real

time. Anyone know how to do that? Bravenet or something? I would like to do that

if anyone knew how to set it up, that way we wouldn't " clog " the list up

chatting and could get some 'instant' feedback... Just an idea... I don't know

how to do it though. Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Thanks for pointing out that I was wrong. I already posted in another email that

I have been overly inflenced by my son's dad, my current husband and the

professionals and that if it had been up to my own gut feelings, I would have

had him sleeping with me. Well, not anymore because he's 9, but during the

earliers years it sure would have made life a lot easier and more comforting for

me and my child.

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote: , I'm sorry

but you're wrong. Lots and lots of children

throughout the world sleep with their parents and they do just fine.

It's a very recent and European phenomenon to separate young children

from their mothers at night.

When my was little she absolutely needed to be with me. She

was up during the night regularly for many years, and I simply could

not get out of bed several nights and walk across the hall to her

room. I was so exhausted I was not able to care for her that way.

Putting her in my room, I could care for her every moment that she

needed me!!! I could be a much better Mom to her, so she could be a

much happier, more stable, content child.

For MY sake, I couldn't have her directly in the bed with me. For MY

comfort and sanity I needed some space, NOT for HERS. I had her crib,

bassinet, toddler bed, whatever she was in at the time, right next to

mine for her first few years, until my now ex insisted she move to

her own room. I refused to put up baby gates between us however, and

kept an extra matterss on the floor of my room for her so she could

be with me if she needed me.

If this sleeping situation is not what YOU prefer, that's fine!!! But

don't assume that because it's what's best for YOU that it's what's

best for every child.

Meira

> Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

> Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

> intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

> for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son

has

> always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read.

If he

> wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot

of saying

> no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

> it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm

not an

> expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT

to not

> sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can

cause

> major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others,

etc. I can

> t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

> remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE

CHILD's

> SAKE.

[Guest guest]

Oh ,,,,,,,,,you're not wrong. We all do things differently and we all

basically turn out ok.....hee hee. I never got to sleep with my folks and I'm

normal.......yes, I am. ha ha.

I only wanted to point out to everyone how great I feel letting my kids in my

bed is.

The last thing a Support Group should do is make you feel as if you should

apologize for how you did/or are doing things.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Thanks for pointing out that I was wrong. I already posted in another

email that I have been overly inflenced by my son's dad, my current husband and

the professionals and that if it had been up to my own gut feelings, I would

have had him sleeping with me. Well, not anymore because he's 9, but during the

earliers years it sure would have made life a lot easier and more comforting for

me and my child.

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote: , I'm sorry but you're

wrong. Lots and lots of children

throughout the world sleep with their parents and they do just fine.

It's a very recent and European phenomenon to separate young children

from their mothers at night.

When my was little she absolutely needed to be with me. She

was up during the night regularly for many years, and I simply could

not get out of bed several nights and walk across the hall to her

room. I was so exhausted I was not able to care for her that way.

Putting her in my room, I could care for her every moment that she

needed me!!! I could be a much better Mom to her, so she could be a

much happier, more stable, content child.

For MY sake, I couldn't have her directly in the bed with me. For MY

comfort and sanity I needed some space, NOT for HERS. I had her crib,

bassinet, toddler bed, whatever she was in at the time, right next to

mine for her first few years, until my now ex insisted she move to

her own room. I refused to put up baby gates between us however, and

kept an extra matterss on the floor of my room for her so she could

be with me if she needed me.

If this sleeping situation is not what YOU prefer, that's fine!!! But

don't assume that because it's what's best for YOU that it's what's

best for every child.

Meira

> Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

> Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

> intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

> for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son

has

> always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read.

If he

> wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot

of saying

> no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

> it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm

not an

> expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT

to not

> sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can

cause

> major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others,

etc. I can

> t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

> remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE

CHILD's

> SAKE.

[Guest guest]

, I agree with Robin. You are not wrong. You don't need to apologize.

Many share your idea that a married couple's bed is an intimate place for the

two of them to sleep. Other people are entitled to their opinions, but no one

is right or wrong on this topic. It's a personal decision.

Good Luck!

Liz

Houston

and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote:

Oh ,,,,,,,,,you're not wrong. We all do things differently and

we all basically turn out ok.....hee hee. I never got to sleep with my folks and

I'm normal.......yes, I am. ha ha.

I only wanted to point out to everyone how great I feel letting my kids in my

bed is.

The last thing a Support Group should do is make you feel as if you should

apologize for how you did/or are doing things.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Thanks for pointing out that I was wrong. I already posted in another email that

I have been overly inflenced by my son's dad, my current husband and the

professionals and that if it had been up to my own gut feelings, I would have

had him sleeping with me. Well, not anymore because he's 9, but during the

earliers years it sure would have made life a lot easier and more comforting for

me and my child.

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote: , I'm sorry but you're

wrong. Lots and lots of children

throughout the world sleep with their parents and they do just fine.

It's a very recent and European phenomenon to separate young children

from their mothers at night.

When my was little she absolutely needed to be with me. She

was up during the night regularly for many years, and I simply could

not get out of bed several nights and walk across the hall to her

room. I was so exhausted I was not able to care for her that way.

Putting her in my room, I could care for her every moment that she

needed me!!! I could be a much better Mom to her, so she could be a

much happier, more stable, content child.

For MY sake, I couldn't have her directly in the bed with me. For MY

comfort and sanity I needed some space, NOT for HERS. I had her crib,

bassinet, toddler bed, whatever she was in at the time, right next to

mine for her first few years, until my now ex insisted she move to

her own room. I refused to put up baby gates between us however, and

kept an extra matterss on the floor of my room for her so she could

be with me if she needed me.

If this sleeping situation is not what YOU prefer, that's fine!!! But

don't assume that because it's what's best for YOU that it's what's

best for every child.

Meira

> Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

> Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

> intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

> for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son

has

> always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read.

If he

> wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot

of saying

> no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

> it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm

not an

> expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT

to not

> sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can

cause

> major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others,

etc. I can

> t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

> remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE

CHILD's

> SAKE.

[Guest guest]

Yep.

=)

>

> I think it'd be awesome for the " group " to pick a spot and we all try

to make it. That would be one incredible hotel experience (or camping

experience). Do any of you camp?

> Robin

[Guest guest]

Another advantage of getting together with other Aspie families... My

DH is a miracle. He's not much of a talker, but he bonds well, and

relates well, and he GETS it... so maybe he could be a help to other

DHs?

Meira

>

> Ohh I would really really love to meet! Heck I'd be just as happy

to talk on

> the phone! lol

>

> I don't mean to be a downer, but it sure does get lonely sometimes.

I've got

> DH here, but like I said, he's in that perpetual denial phase and

doesn't

> believe a thing is wrong so he's no help at all. I always have my

mom, but

> now she's gone for the summer :\

>

>

> -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

>

> Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

> Anxiety/Depression)

> and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

[Guest guest]

, It takes a very strong person to admit they might be wrong!

I have not read your post because I am zillions of emails behind and

have no clue which ones I've read at this point. Thank you for

letting me know that I messed up! It happens to the best of us. =)

And I know I've made plenty of mistakes and wrong assumptions and

will continue to do so.

Hang in there.

Meira

> > Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

> > intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

> appropriate

> > for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My

son

> has

> > always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can

read.

> If he

> > wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a

lot

> of saying

> > no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow

it

> sometimes

> > it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm

> not an

> > expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER

WHAT

> to not

> > sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It

can

> cause

> > major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others,

> etc. I can

> > t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago),

but I

> > remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR

THE

> CHILD's

> > SAKE.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry if my words were misunderstood. I did NOT mean to say that

was wrong in not wanting her kids to sleep with her.

I meant she was wrong in saying that no child should ever sleep in

their parents' rooms.

, if you misunderstood, and anyone else, I'm truly sorry,

that's not how it was meant!

Meira

>

> Oh ,,,,,,,,,you're not wrong. We all do things differently

and we all basically turn out ok.....hee hee. I never got to sleep

with my folks and I'm normal.......yes, I am. ha ha.

> I only wanted to point out to everyone how great I feel letting

my kids in my bed is.

> The last thing a Support Group should do is make you feel as if

you should apologize for how you did/or are doing things.

> Robin

[Guest guest]

I understood what you meant. I felt bad because I think I may have come across

really harsh. I re-read my email and I know I was a bitter mood that day so it

didn't come quite as nicely as it could have been! I was also speaking through

influenced opinion and not gut opinion and maybe I am still resentful over that.

Didn't mean to take it out on you!!

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote: I'm sorry if my

words were misunderstood. I did NOT mean to say that

was wrong in not wanting her kids to sleep with her.

I meant she was wrong in saying that no child should ever sleep in

their parents' rooms.

, if you misunderstood, and anyone else, I'm truly sorry,

that's not how it was meant!

Meira

>

> Oh ,,,,,,,,,you're not wrong. We all do things differently

and we all basically turn out ok.....hee hee. I never got to sleep

with my folks and I'm normal.......yes, I am. ha ha.

> I only wanted to point out to everyone how great I feel letting

my kids in my bed is.

> The last thing a Support Group should do is make you feel as if

you should apologize for how you did/or are doing things.

> Robin