Re: My son has sleeping issues too

[Guest guest]

Oh no, not me lol I only wish I had thought to do it when my kids were

babies lol Robin's the head inventor on this one

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

That is neat. I remember when I had my son (I was 17 at the time) my boyfriend

and I lived at my mom's for the first 4 months so I had my baby in the bassinet

next to me. When I breastfed during the night I'd lay him in bed with me and if

I feel asleep my boyfriend would wake me up and tell me to put him back in the

bassinet. Then when we had our own place our son had his own room and I'd get up

in the night to breastfeed and same thing, I'd fall asleep on the couch feeding

and he'd come wake me up to put the baby back. Now that I'm older, well, the

pregancy was an accident, but I think if I were to actually have planned the

baby and planned a marriage, I'd have REALLY put more thought into what we both

wanted in raising our children BEFORE getting married and having babies!!

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: Oh wow how neat! I didn't know they

made those!

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

On Nov 27, 6:40pm, Rose wrote:

} that crib thing against the bed that you did. *they actually make cribs

just for that* When I was nursing, I saw in a magazine, a crib that attaches to

the bed. I didn't get one because I already had two cribs, and had to buy

another two for the sitter's home.

They're called co-sleepers. There's also something my friends had

that's designed to go in the bed with you and sort of shield the

baby a bit, but I can't remember what that's called. Both very

convenient for night nursing.

Willa

[Guest guest]

Willa,

I know someone that used that too. the baby slept in the middle of both

parents. that cushion protected/shield the baby from a parent rolling onto or

the child rolling off. I think, don't remember, it looked something like the

foam/sponge that you lay the baby on for bathing. but made for your bed. very

conveient

Willa Hunt <willaful@...> wrote:

On Nov 27, 6:40pm, Rose wrote:

} that crib thing against the bed that you did. *they actually make cribs just

for that* When I was nursing, I saw in a magazine, a crib that attaches to the

bed. I didn't get one because I already had two cribs, and had to buy another

two for the sitter's home.

They're called co-sleepers. There's also something my friends had

that's designed to go in the bed with you and sort of shield the

baby a bit, but I can't remember what that's called. Both very

convenient for night nursing.

Willa

---------------------------------

The fish are biting.

Get more visitors on your site using Search Marketing.

[Guest guest]

the one that talks would yell, " fire, fire " call 911, fire, get out!! " then the

alarm will sound, then back to the voice.

yes, that is scary!! to sleep through the fire alarm. they also have one

that you can have the parents voice say, wake up, fire, fire, or whatever you

want it to say.

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

lol I slept through my smoke alarm not long ago too. In fact my oldest

son

was the only one of the four of us (my husband was at work) who heard it.

Kinda scary. I guess I need to look into it and see if they make louder ones

lol

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Ha ha. No more babies - hubby got the ole " snipper-oooooo " .

There are so many neat inventions out there, aren't there?

Robin

Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote:

Robin,

that crib thing against the bed that you did. *they actually make cribs just for

that* When I was nursing, I saw in a magazine, a crib that attaches to the bed.

I didn't get one because I already had two cribs, and had to buy another two for

the sitter's home.

but they are really cool looking. and made just for that purpose, to attach to

the bed..

very convenient too.

Maybe for your next baby???

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote:

We do have some things in common, don't we?

I loved the bassinet's too. We also removed 1 side of the 1 crib we ever had and

pushed our bed up against IT, which was against the wall. This was awesome too.

It was when we still were feeling " guilty " for wanting him in our bed......so we

thought as long as he was in the crib, it wasn't " sleeping together " . I wound up

with my top `1/2 in the crib one night when Ian was moving a lot. Nice picture.

haa ha.

I missed out on the sling too but would have loved it. I saw someone using it

today, actually, and it really looks like the way a baby SHOULD be held/carried.

So snug and close.

When topics like this come up, I often wonder if we wouldn't be as close as we

are if we hadn't made the " bed " and " attachment parenting " choices we made. I'm

really glad we did it this way (and continue to).

Where do you hail from?

Robin

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

My kids get in bed with my husband and I sometimes too. Sometimes it's

because they're scared (Trey slept with us just last night for this reason),

sometimes they might feel sad or even might just want to be somewhere

different. They don't do it every night and they don't get to every time

they want to. In fact there are times we ask if they want to and they don't.

Eventually they'll outgrow wanting to sleep with us so right now, I enjoy

the cuddle time while I can.

My babies were always held by me too or they were at least very near me.

When they were still small enough for the bassinett (*love* those btw) they

were never in a different room. I wanted them to feel safe and secure and

loved at all times and I sincerely believe that helps form a stronger bond.

When they got too big for that, I used a baby carrier and carried them on my

belly and then moved them to my back when they got bigger again.

(Unfortunately I completely missed out on the wrap and sling somehow) Like

you, I'm not saying everyone needs to do things " my " way (or our way as it

seems we have a lot in common lol) but this is what worked best for us.

I have let mine cry, but never for more than 20 minutes and I didn't even do

that " letting them cry " thing long. I didn't see any reason to let them cry

it out with making everyone in the house tense and feel guilty. So what if

they don't cry it out? It never " spoiled " them and they all slept just fine

as babies and toddlers and in fact all three slept through the night at a

much younger age than my friends kids who were crying it out every night.

There's a difference between whining, crying and really sobbing. Whining I

would let go and see if they'd settle on their own, if not, I was there, but

she'd let her babies downright sob and bawl. It was so heartbreaking.

Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble lol but I just wanted to let you know that I

agree with you and we seem to have another thing in common! lol

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

yes, makes ya want another?

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: Ha ha. No more babies - hubby got

the ole " snipper-oooooo " .

There are so many neat inventions out there, aren't there?

Robin

Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote:

Robin,

that crib thing against the bed that you did. *they actually make cribs just for

that* When I was nursing, I saw in a magazine, a crib that attaches to the bed.

I didn't get one because I already had two cribs, and had to buy another two for

the sitter's home.

but they are really cool looking. and made just for that purpose, to attach to

the bed..

very convenient too.

Maybe for your next baby???

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote:

We do have some things in common, don't we?

I loved the bassinet's too. We also removed 1 side of the 1 crib we ever had and

pushed our bed up against IT, which was against the wall. This was awesome too.

It was when we still were feeling " guilty " for wanting him in our bed......so we

thought as long as he was in the crib, it wasn't " sleeping together " . I wound up

with my top `1/2 in the crib one night when Ian was moving a lot. Nice picture.

haa ha.

I missed out on the sling too but would have loved it. I saw someone using it

today, actually, and it really looks like the way a baby SHOULD be held/carried.

So snug and close.

When topics like this come up, I often wonder if we wouldn't be as close as we

are if we hadn't made the " bed " and " attachment parenting " choices we made. I'm

really glad we did it this way (and continue to).

Where do you hail from?

Robin

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

My kids get in bed with my husband and I sometimes too. Sometimes it's

because they're scared (Trey slept with us just last night for this reason),

sometimes they might feel sad or even might just want to be somewhere

different. They don't do it every night and they don't get to every time

they want to. In fact there are times we ask if they want to and they don't.

Eventually they'll outgrow wanting to sleep with us so right now, I enjoy

the cuddle time while I can.

My babies were always held by me too or they were at least very near me.

When they were still small enough for the bassinett (*love* those btw) they

were never in a different room. I wanted them to feel safe and secure and

loved at all times and I sincerely believe that helps form a stronger bond.

When they got too big for that, I used a baby carrier and carried them on my

belly and then moved them to my back when they got bigger again.

(Unfortunately I completely missed out on the wrap and sling somehow) Like

you, I'm not saying everyone needs to do things " my " way (or our way as it

seems we have a lot in common lol) but this is what worked best for us.

I have let mine cry, but never for more than 20 minutes and I didn't even do

that " letting them cry " thing long. I didn't see any reason to let them cry

it out with making everyone in the house tense and feel guilty. So what if

they don't cry it out? It never " spoiled " them and they all slept just fine

as babies and toddlers and in fact all three slept through the night at a

much younger age than my friends kids who were crying it out every night.

There's a difference between whining, crying and really sobbing. Whining I

would let go and see if they'd settle on their own, if not, I was there, but

she'd let her babies downright sob and bawl. It was so heartbreaking.

Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble lol but I just wanted to let you know that I

agree with you and we seem to have another thing in common! lol

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Oh...I have to sing the praises of the baby sling!!!! It was wonderful, so cozy

fro each of us and provided dd with the input she needed with out the skin

contact! Plus...it was great for nursing in public :-)

- C.

Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

, I'm sorry but you're wrong. Lots and lots of children

throughout the world sleep with their parents and they do just fine.

It's a very recent and European phenomenon to separate young children

from their mothers at night.

When my was little she absolutely needed to be with me. She

was up during the night regularly for many years, and I simply could

not get out of bed several nights and walk across the hall to her

room. I was so exhausted I was not able to care for her that way.

Putting her in my room, I could care for her every moment that she

needed me!!! I could be a much better Mom to her, so she could be a

much happier, more stable, content child.

For MY sake, I couldn't have her directly in the bed with me. For MY

comfort and sanity I needed some space, NOT for HERS. I had her crib,

bassinet, toddler bed, whatever she was in at the time, right next to

mine for her first few years, until my now ex insisted she move to

her own room. I refused to put up baby gates between us however, and

kept an extra matterss on the floor of my room for her so she could

be with me if she needed me.

If this sleeping situation is not what YOU prefer, that's fine!!! But

don't assume that because it's what's best for YOU that it's what's

best for every child.

Meira

> Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

> Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

> intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

> for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son

has

> always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read.

If he

> wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot

of saying

> no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

> it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm

not an

> expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT

to not

> sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can

cause

> major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others,

etc. I can

> t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

> remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE

CHILD's

> SAKE.

[Guest guest]

That doesn't have to stop you.

=)

>

> Ha ha. No more babies - hubby got the ole " snipper-oooooo " .

> There are so many neat inventions out there, aren't there?

> Robin

>

[Guest guest]

I don't doubt for a second that more people do this than not. Maybe not all the

time,,,,,but that allow it for the wonderful comfort it brings.

I never understood complying with someone who told me NOT to do something that

calms my wild children, opens communication, comforts a sick child, basically

calms everyone, costs nothing, doesn't rot your teeth and makes them feel good

about themselves. Hee hee

Robin

happybrats3@... wrote:

Oh I missed the wrap/sling too! I so wish I had done this with my

kids.

I am a single mom and my kids, ages 7 and 4, take turns sleeping with me. I

see no problem at all with it, yet others do. This is their special time

with me as we talk about our day and such. It's their one on one with me.

As I always say, my kids, my life, and I do what is best for us. I could

care less what the " experts " say, they are not here day in and day out.

It works for us and that's what matters.

Tracey Shockey _MYspace_

(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\

4800)

_Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to just

feel better?

Home of _GET CLEAN_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy/getclean/index) ,

non toxic cleaners

Home of _CINCH_ (http://www.cinchplan.com/wellnessiseasy) , powerful and

proven inch loss

_Mia Bella_ (http://www.burningandearning.com/) the best candles you'll

ever burn

_Tart burners_

(http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3)

Great selection and colors for every decor! ELECTRIC

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

You hit the nail on the head. Ya gotta do what works for you.

Robin

Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote:

Robin,

this came up one time at a parenting class I went to, and a parent said, its

only " dirty " if the adults think it is. If that makes sense to you?

I knew an older woman (approx in her 60ies) said, if you pick up a baby just

because they cried, you will ruin them. hummm, I always pick my kids up when

they cried. at 8 & 9 years old, they hardly cry. (when they fall off their bikes,

yes). they don't cry because another child won a prize/game and they didn't.

others say, they will pick them up when they cry. it comforts them and builds up

there self esteem. Some say, crying helps their lungs???

*you will always find a book that will contradict* another. LOL look at the diet

books. some say Dr. Atlas book " eat all the meat you want diet, and lose weight "

is the best!!!

another book will say, Dr. Atlas books could cause a heart attack and kill you.

same with parenting, as you already know.

Do whats best for your children/family.

I don't see anything wrong with it " unless that parent feels there is " .

***That's OK too***. SMILE

all parenting skills are so different. some relate, some don't. some parents let

their children sleep in their rooms with a sleeping bag next to them on the

floor, some make sleeping fun and put a tent in their rooms with a sleeping bag

like camping. some remodel the rooms. and some, let their kids in their beds

with them. (parents)

I'm the one that wrote, I can't sleep with my kids in my bed because they hog

the blankets, kick, turn and I don't get any sleep, which I need. So, when my

kids need that extra support at night, climb into my bed with me, I climb out

and get into theirs. but, my kids are ok with that.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote:

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself

and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,,,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they

would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because

they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them

up. All or our children on this site have disorders, so we get them whatever

help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a

need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because

they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My

son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a

snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike.

The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family "

and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members,

tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course

they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is

a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it

was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book

- " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is

" imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that

say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out

there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They

have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and

are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple " bonding time "

adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell

them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in

tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the

bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO

MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is

YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you

choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking

about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games,

drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating

together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching

them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you.

Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,,,they may

calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at

as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the

child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the

stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and

certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to

clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow

our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place

for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or

fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay

in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do

it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they

know your serious. If you allow it sometimes, it will be much harder to get them

to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for

the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read

up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping

with others, etc. I can't remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years

ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE

CHILD's SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you

happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except

you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large

couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with

you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this

early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to

find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it,

he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep

in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty

soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's

neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at

bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are

helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep

all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems

but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at

night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets

into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the

group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like

Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled

cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I

keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let

me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

I just " map-quested " from Fond du Lac to Columbus and it's about 8 hours.

Yikes.

It would be neat to have a bit weekend gathering at a " somewhat " central

location some year. Imagine all of our kids FINALLY with others like them!!!!

AND understanding adults!!!

Robin

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

rofl What an adorable image though!

I'm terrible with geography (even my own lol) so I asked my husband how far

we are from Chicago. He said our distance is " so far you don't want to know "

and then he came out with the truth and said " I don't know " but he did say

we're southeast of Chicago lol He's a big help isn't he?

So I guess we're " so far you don't want to know " plus 2 1/2-3 hours away

rofl

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

I wish I could back in time and get one. They just look so darned awesome!!!!

The s <carters5@...> wrote: Oh...I have to sing the

praises of the baby sling!!!! It was wonderful, so cozy fro each of us and

provided dd with the input she needed with out the skin contact! Plus...it was

great for nursing in public :-)

- C.

Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Ohh my! lol That'd be quite a drive!

It would be neat to be able to get together like that though. I doubt I

could do it though honestly, I have a hard time following driving directions

and hubby won't come along because he doesn't want any part of any of " that

stuff " . He's in a perpetual denial phase.

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

I too love the baby sling, and still use it on occassion with my

2.5yr old daughter as she can ride on my hip in it. It is a back

saver, and at times the only thing that seems to comfort her is

being " snugged up close to mommy " while I am walking around. Being

confined in it is sooting to her. Its also easier to take to a park

than a stroller in case she gets tired during a walk.

-Amie

> Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed

and it's

> really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he

won't sleep in

> it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him

that he has to

> sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have

his OT eval

> pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every

time I tell my

> son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is

on Clonidine

> 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the

morning,I don't

> think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the

night and

> then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for

sleeping

> problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse

because he

> wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like

a wild

> person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is

anyone going

> through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is

going through

> eating

> issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage

baby food

> like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he

will eat

> Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,

{toast and

> sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do.

Please write

> back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank

You!!! Heidi

> Van Oss

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

> Try the free Beta.

> http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

>

>

[Guest guest]

8 hours? maybe you both can plan to meet in the middle? A four hour trip each.

you can easily go to AAA and ask them to map out directions to meet in the

middle. spend the day, have a picnic, and have fun!!!! go for it!!!... summer

is almost here. maybe there is a nice beach, lake, something fun for the

family... 4 hours is not so bad....don't forget the DVD player...and --- have a

safe fun trip...

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: Ohh my! lol That'd be quite a

drive!

It would be neat to be able to get together like that though. I doubt I

could do it though honestly, I have a hard time following driving directions

and hubby won't come along because he doesn't want any part of any of " that

stuff " . He's in a perpetual denial phase.

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Oh,,,,I know. Hee hee.

We got Sam by way of Care and,,,,though I say we're done.........who

knows? My kids are always saying how they sure would like an " 8 " yr old sister

or whatever. They all wish they had someone else to hang with.

It's wierd, because we have friends who if you ask the kids if they'd like

another brother or sister,,,,,,the kids say, " no way " right away. I never

understood that. Mine always want more. Hee hee.

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

That doesn't have to stop you.

=)

>

> Ha ha. No more babies - hubby got the ole " snipper-oooooo " .

> There are so many neat inventions out there, aren't there?

> Robin

>

---------------------------------

Finding fabulous fares is fun.

Let FareChase search your favorite travel sites to find flight and hotel

bargains.

[Guest guest]

Has this group ever done anything like try to get together for a weekend?

and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote:

I just " map-quested " from Fond du Lac to Columbus and it's about 8

hours. Yikes.

It would be neat to have a bit weekend gathering at a " somewhat " central

location some year. Imagine all of our kids FINALLY with others like them!!!!

AND understanding adults!!!

Robin

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

rofl What an adorable image though!

I'm terrible with geography (even my own lol) so I asked my husband how far

we are from Chicago. He said our distance is " so far you don't want to know "

and then he came out with the truth and said " I don't know " but he did say

we're southeast of Chicago lol He's a big help isn't he?

So I guess we're " so far you don't want to know " plus 2 1/2-3 hours away

rofl

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

I think it'd be awesome for the " group " to pick a spot and we all try to make

it. That would be one incredible hotel experience (or camping experience). Do

any of you camp?

Robin

Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote:

8 hours? maybe you both can plan to meet in the middle? A four hour

trip each. you can easily go to AAA and ask them to map out directions to meet

in the middle. spend the day, have a picnic, and have fun!!!! go for it!!!...

summer is almost here. maybe there is a nice beach, lake, something fun for the

family... 4 hours is not so bad....don't forget the DVD player...and --- have a

safe fun trip...

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: Ohh my! lol That'd be quite a drive!

It would be neat to be able to get together like that though. I doubt I

could do it though honestly, I have a hard time following driving directions

and hubby won't come along because he doesn't want any part of any of " that

stuff " . He's in a perpetual denial phase.

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Ohh I would really really love to meet! Heck I'd be just as happy to talk on

the phone! lol

I don't mean to be a downer, but it sure does get lonely sometimes. I've got

DH here, but like I said, he's in that perpetual denial phase and doesn't

believe a thing is wrong so he's no help at all. I always have my mom, but

now she's gone for the summer :\

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

ugh Isn't that miserable? Maybe some of us in the group would like to at

least swap numbers or something? Sometimes it's easier and more comforting

to be able to *talk* talk as opposed to writing. Maybe we could set up a

database of who would want to along with the best times for them to talk? I

don't know if that's a good idea or if it can be worked on, but it's a

thought. I wouldn't mind sharing my number and I have free long distance to

any where in the continental US. I dunno, it's a thought lol

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

.. well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

..

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Hello Jenn,

It would be very nice but hard for a whole group to meet? people work

different hours, money situations. I don't think my car would make it on a far

trip anymore. I've put on many mileage. It could work better with a group of

people from your state. What if you post your state, have them e-mail you.

exchange phone numbers and you could arrange to meet?

Autism/aspergers groups are awesome too. Over by me, the parents get

together once a month, they bring a dessert dish to pass and all chip in for

pizza/soda. The meeting is about two hours long. The group decides if they

will have an open conversation of pick a topic. the parents are fun.

If you don't have a group started, maybe you would like to start your own.

You can meet at a public library. A small group can meet at a different home

once a month. Maybe your school would let you use an empty room or even the

church.

does this sound like something you would be interested in? you seem to have

lots of energy to start a group.

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

Ohh I would really really love to meet! Heck I'd be just as happy to

talk on

the phone! lol

I don't mean to be a downer, but it sure does get lonely sometimes. I've got

DH here, but like I said, he's in that perpetual denial phase and doesn't

believe a thing is wrong so he's no help at all. I always have my mom, but

now she's gone for the summer :\

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Jenn,

someone started that on this site a few months back. They sent e-mails and

exchanged phone numbers. Someone started an Autism chat group, if you have a

mic. you can chat to more than one person at a time. for the subject spot,

type in, who wants to exchange phone numbers?

They can exchange numbers straight to your e-mail.

hope this was helpful?

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

ugh Isn't that miserable? Maybe some of us in the group would like to

at

least swap numbers or something? Sometimes it's easier and more comforting

to be able to *talk* talk as opposed to writing. Maybe we could set up a

database of who would want to along with the best times for them to talk? I

don't know if that's a good idea or if it can be worked on, but it's a

thought. I wouldn't mind sharing my number and I have free long distance to

any where in the continental US. I dunno, it's a thought lol

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but

he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys

.. well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can we

talk?? it seems never:( Toni

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have

disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day,

whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they

re

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out

..

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is

also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your

child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent

video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children,

not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence,

not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going

only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen

to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be

appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of

saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it

sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I

can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping

with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We

learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep

in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has

to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT

eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell

my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on

Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don

t

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going

through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast

and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html

[Guest guest]

Hi Rose,

I agree it would be hard for the whole group to meet especially with our

group covering such a wide geographical span. Robin and I were just talking

about how far she and I lived from one another, I'm not sure who's idea it

was for the whole group to meet.

I'm a member of an ASD support group here locally, but it's just started and

has only had one meeting so far and of course, just my luck, I couldn't make

it to the first one lol I'm hoping to make it to the second though.

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Beta.

http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html