Re: My son has sleeping issues too

[Guest guest]

I think this could be an incredible thing!!!

I know we'd have to save up,,,,,,and really plan ahead,,,,,,but it would be

awesome for all of us to get together. Moms, Dads, Kids. Just take over the

hotel!!!

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

Another advantage of getting together with other Aspie families... My

DH is a miracle. He's not much of a talker, but he bonds well, and

relates well, and he GETS it... so maybe he could be a help to other

DHs?

Meira

>

> Ohh I would really really love to meet! Heck I'd be just as happy

to talk on

> the phone! lol

>

> I don't mean to be a downer, but it sure does get lonely sometimes.

I've got

> DH here, but like I said, he's in that perpetual denial phase and

doesn't

> believe a thing is wrong so he's no help at all. I always have my

mom, but

> now she's gone for the summer :\

>

>

> -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

>

> Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

> Anxiety/Depression)

> and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Ack sorry about that, I missed your message, Meira. What a very sweet

thought that is, but my DH won't go. He won't even go to one support group

meeting with me that's only 30-45 minutes from here. I gave up on him, I don

t even bother trying any more.

Get pics for me Robin and Meira! And details! I want lots and lotsa details

of what I miss! lol

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I think this could be an incredible thing!!!

I know we'd have to save up,,,,,,and really plan ahead,,,,,,but it would

be awesome for all of us to get together. Moms, Dads, Kids. Just take over

the hotel!!!

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

Another advantage of getting together with other Aspie families...

My

DH is a miracle. He's not much of a talker, but he bonds well, and

relates well, and he GETS it... so maybe he could be a help to other

DHs?

Meira

>

> Ohh I would really really love to meet! Heck I'd be just as happy

to talk on

> the phone! lol

>

> I don't mean to be a downer, but it sure does get lonely sometimes.

I've got

> DH here, but like I said, he's in that perpetual denial phase and

doesn't

> believe a thing is wrong so he's no help at all. I always have my

mom, but

> now she's gone for the summer :\

>

>

> -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

>

> Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

> Anxiety/Depression)

> and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

You don't have to worry. If we really do this,,,,,,,,the pictures will be

plentiful!!!! I'm a wild-woman with a camera!!!

We may not have a date set yet,,,,,,,,,,,,but you better start working on him.

Whether he goes or not!!! Maybe you can entice him with the idea of having a

weekend to himself???

Wait,,,,,,,,I'd like that. Hmmmmmmmmm.

Robin

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

Ack sorry about that, I missed your message, Meira. What a very sweet

thought that is, but my DH won't go. He won't even go to one support group

meeting with me that's only 30-45 minutes from here. I gave up on him, I don

t even bother trying any more.

Get pics for me Robin and Meira! And details! I want lots and lotsa details

of what I miss! lol

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I think this could be an incredible thing!!!

I know we'd have to save up,,,,,,and really plan ahead,,,,,,but it would

be awesome for all of us to get together. Moms, Dads, Kids. Just take over

the hotel!!!

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

Another advantage of getting together with other Aspie families...

My

DH is a miracle. He's not much of a talker, but he bonds well, and

relates well, and he GETS it... so maybe he could be a help to other

DHs?

Meira

>

> Ohh I would really really love to meet! Heck I'd be just as happy

to talk on

> the phone! lol

>

> I don't mean to be a downer, but it sure does get lonely sometimes.

I've got

> DH here, but like I said, he's in that perpetual denial phase and

doesn't

> believe a thing is wrong so he's no help at all. I always have my

mom, but

> now she's gone for the summer :\

>

>

> -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

>

> Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

> Anxiety/Depression)

> and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Woo hoo! Wild Woman! lol

I really would love to go but I can't even go to my sister's by myself and

she only lives three hours from here! lol She's been there for years and

years (more than 10) *and* I used to live in the same general vicinity and I

*still* get lost! rofl

I wouldn't mind a weekend to myself either! rofl

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I think this could be an incredible thing!!!

I know we'd have to save up,,,,,,and really plan ahead,,,,,,but it would

be awesome for all of us to get together. Moms, Dads, Kids. Just take over

the hotel!!!

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

Another advantage of getting together with other Aspie families...

My

DH is a miracle. He's not much of a talker, but he bonds well, and

relates well, and he GETS it... so maybe he could be a help to other

DHs?

Meira

>

> Ohh I would really really love to meet! Heck I'd be just as happy

to talk on

> the phone! lol

>

> I don't mean to be a downer, but it sure does get lonely sometimes.

I've got

> DH here, but like I said, he's in that perpetual denial phase and

doesn't

> believe a thing is wrong so he's no help at all. I always have my

mom, but

> now she's gone for the summer :\

>

>

> -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

>

> Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

> Anxiety/Depression)

> and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

---------------------------------

Be a PS3 game guru.

Get your game face on with the latest PS3 news and previews at Games.

[Guest guest]

Thank you Lindsey. I definitely understand. I know I've taken my

bad moods out on the people I care about. It's hard not to! We've

all been influenced by our pasts and others we love. Choosing to

follow our hearts is a huge step. I know sometimes I have to be

careful that I'm not working too hard to do the exact opposite of my

parents! LOL....

Meira

I'm sorry if my

words were misunderstood. I did NOT mean to say that

> was wrong in not wanting her kids to sleep with her.

>

> I meant she was wrong in saying that no child should ever sleep in

> their parents' rooms.

>

> , if you misunderstood, and anyone else, I'm truly sorry,

> that's not how it was meant!

>

> Meira

[Guest guest]

Wow, , I can definitely see more of where you were coming from

after reading this post. It's so hard to believe something could be

acceptable when everyone around you tells you it's not. Be strong!

You are the best Mom for your child!

Meira

>

> Well I totally agree on all that you said. It's nice to hear the

side of a real person that feels that way. I think I've always given

too much credit to professionals as well as my son's father and my

current husband. Even though for me, I would love to let my little

guy sleep with me, I got SO much crap for wanting that when my son

was a baby from his dad, plus the doctors and therapists saying that

it was a big no no, that I just honestly really thought I was being

selfish. We split up when my son was almost 3 and when I lived on my

own and had my son only half the week, I did let him sleep in my bed

sometimes. It started out because he got sick for about a week strait

and we were in a new home. I didn't want him to be scared AND there

was no one there to tell me no!! It wasn't every night, it was on and

off for about a year, depending on how he was doing and feeling. But

I have to admit, I loved snuggling so much!! I moved in with my

current husband when my son was 7 and

> by that point my son was only coming into my bed in the morning to

watch cartoons. This was something my new hubby did not like one

little bit. Once again I thought I was the one being selfish. Some of

my favorite memories was going into my dad's room in the morning and

watching cartoons. At my mom's house my stepdad wouldn't allow that

and that always bothered me. This was a huge problem for me when we

first moved in together. In the end, I could see where he was coming

from and I may have been overly sensitive about it because of my

childhood experiences. But it didn't seem to bother my son any, I

just told him to wake me up in the morning and I'll come out to the

couch and we could snuggle there and watch cartoons. Then during an

Asperger Support Group meeting there was a therapit speaker and the

topic was kids sleeping in there parents bed and what a big no no

that was. And my son's dad and my current hubby kept looking right at

me when she'd say certain things that I

> was " guilty " of. So I guess what I heard from you and I actually

agreed with, I hear the oposite from ALL the people in my life, that

I thought I must be in the wrong.

>

[Guest guest]

Clonidine doesn't really " make " someone sleep as much as it just makes one

drowsy. So staying asleep may well be better addressed with a different

medication. Also, I hate saying this, but some of our kids can just not sleep

as much as typical kids. My own 10 yo just can't possibly sleep as long as he

should. So if I give him his meds too early, he is up too early. I have to

manage that one according to his needs.

Also, he shouldn't want to sleep all day. Either the meds need to be changed

completely or altered as far as the timing. One time we tried a med for sleep

(tenex) and it didn't work. However, the next day at pre-school, they called me

to come pick my ds up because he was totally out at school. lol. Seems like

the med worked only it didn't work until maybe 14 hours after he took it.

Food is a tough one. One of my two boys with HFA has great food issues.

Actually, your kid eats more than mine as far as variety goes. I would just

always encourage him to try new foods but not make it a huge awful ordeal. Some

people have luck by saying, " Take one bite - if you don't like it, you don't

have to eat any more. " If that might work, go with it. At least he would try

new foods.

Roxanna

( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it,

he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep

in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty

soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's

neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at

bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are

helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep

all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems

but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at

night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets

into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the

group if anyone is going through eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like

Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled

cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I

keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let

me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss

__________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Tenex does that to too. So she takes it at 6am in order to

fall asleep around 7pm.

>

> Also, he shouldn't want to sleep all day. Either the meds need to be

changed completely or altered as far as the timing. One time we tried

a med for sleep (tenex) and it didn't work. However, the next day at

pre-school, they called me to come pick my ds up because he was totally

out at school. lol. Seems like the med worked only it didn't work

until maybe 14 hours after he took it.

>

[Guest guest]

My son would sleep with me until he was almost ten, sometimes I would wake up

and he would be in the bed behind me snoring. He outgrew it on his own.

Sometimes they need that comfort and support... even if they don't have AS,

eventually they wont want to sleep with you anymore, so I wouldn't worry about

it for the time being!!

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

I don't doubt for a second that more people do this than not. Maybe not all

the time,,,,,but that allow it for the wonderful comfort it brings.

I never understood complying with someone who told me NOT to do something that

calms my wild children, opens communication, comforts a sick child, basically

calms everyone, costs nothing, doesn't rot your teeth and makes them feel good

about themselves. Hee hee

Robin

happybrats3@... wrote:

Oh I missed the wrap/sling too! I so wish I had done this with my kids.

I am a single mom and my kids, ages 7 and 4, take turns sleeping with me. I

see no problem at all with it, yet others do. This is their special time

with me as we talk about our day and such. It's their one on one with me.

As I always say, my kids, my life, and I do what is best for us. I could

care less what the " experts " say, they are not here day in and day out.

It works for us and that's what matters.

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(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\

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[Guest guest]

The Ohio people did once have a get together. We all went up to Mentor and had

fun at the park/pool. Well, I spent my time chasing my youngest as he was still

spending his free time wandering aimlessly. lol.

Roxanna

Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too

Hi.

Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to

myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,

,

I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need.

If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they

cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt

themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders

so we get them whatever help we can.

For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it.

It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether

it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're

at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school.

My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another

child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not

advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have

people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " .

You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up.

No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of

course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to

one-another is a basic need/want.

My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they

grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also

a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ).

But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you

shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else

that is " imposed " on us when not welcome.

As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible

books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and

natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as

well as the child.

Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too.

They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at

friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple

bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though,

when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you

can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that.

Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in

the bed - at night. Hee hee.

I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard

that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child

is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way

you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not

talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video

games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not

eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not

teaching them self-respect or spending time with them.

It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with

you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,

,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that

it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only

going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't

admit it, because of the stigma.

Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree

and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted

to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to

allow our kids in our bed if they choose.

Robin

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an

intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate

for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has

always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he

wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying

no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes

it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an

expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not

sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause

major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can

t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I

remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's

SAKE.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if

you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like?

What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is?

It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects

except you guys may not be too used to it.

We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with

them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a

large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years.

Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously.

Let me know if you try it and it works.

Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps

with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned

this early on.

Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have

to find what works for your family.

Good luck.

Robin

Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote:

Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's

really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in

it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to

sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval

pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my

son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine

3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't

think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and

then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping

problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he

wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild

person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going

through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through

eating

issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food

like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat

Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and

sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write

back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi

Van Oss

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[Guest guest]

Hi Robin,

we used to live in Mt. Carmel, Illinois. So we know where Olney is!

Roxanna

Re: ( ) Re: My son has sleeping issues too

My husband is from Olney, IL (quite southern). Do you know it?

Robin

Amy McCarty <luvmy2arabians@...> wrote:

Im centrally located too! Im about 2 hours straight south of Chicago.

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Small world, isn't it? Were you originally from there? RobinRoxanna <madideas@...> wrote: Hi Robin,we used to live in Mt. Carmel, Illinois. So we know where Olney is! Roxanna Re: ( ) Re: My son has sleeping issues tooMy

husband is from Olney, IL (quite southern). Do you know it?RobinAmy McCarty <luvmy2arabians > wrote:Im centrally located too! Im about 2 hours straight south of Chicago. ---------------------------------We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

[Guest guest]

My dh is originally from Mt. Carmel. His family is still there and in dale. I just lived there a few years and then got married.

Roxanna

Re: ( ) Re: My son has sleeping issues tooMy husband is from Olney, IL (quite southern). Do you know it?RobinAmy McCarty <luvmy2arabians > wrote:Im centrally located too! Im about 2 hours straight south of Chicago. ---------------------------------We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.