Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Oh no, not me lol I only wish I had thought to do it when my kids were babies lol Robin's the head inventor on this one -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 That is neat. I remember when I had my son (I was 17 at the time) my boyfriend and I lived at my mom's for the first 4 months so I had my baby in the bassinet next to me. When I breastfed during the night I'd lay him in bed with me and if I feel asleep my boyfriend would wake me up and tell me to put him back in the bassinet. Then when we had our own place our son had his own room and I'd get up in the night to breastfeed and same thing, I'd fall asleep on the couch feeding and he'd come wake me up to put the baby back. Now that I'm older, well, the pregancy was an accident, but I think if I were to actually have planned the baby and planned a marriage, I'd have REALLY put more thought into what we both wanted in raising our children BEFORE getting married and having babies!! Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: Oh wow how neat! I didn't know they made those! -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 On Nov 27, 6:40pm, Rose wrote: } that crib thing against the bed that you did. *they actually make cribs just for that* When I was nursing, I saw in a magazine, a crib that attaches to the bed. I didn't get one because I already had two cribs, and had to buy another two for the sitter's home. They're called co-sleepers. There's also something my friends had that's designed to go in the bed with you and sort of shield the baby a bit, but I can't remember what that's called. Both very convenient for night nursing. Willa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Willa, I know someone that used that too. the baby slept in the middle of both parents. that cushion protected/shield the baby from a parent rolling onto or the child rolling off. I think, don't remember, it looked something like the foam/sponge that you lay the baby on for bathing. but made for your bed. very conveient Willa Hunt <willaful@...> wrote: On Nov 27, 6:40pm, Rose wrote: } that crib thing against the bed that you did. *they actually make cribs just for that* When I was nursing, I saw in a magazine, a crib that attaches to the bed. I didn't get one because I already had two cribs, and had to buy another two for the sitter's home. They're called co-sleepers. There's also something my friends had that's designed to go in the bed with you and sort of shield the baby a bit, but I can't remember what that's called. Both very convenient for night nursing. Willa --------------------------------- The fish are biting. Get more visitors on your site using Search Marketing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 the one that talks would yell, " fire, fire " call 911, fire, get out!! " then the alarm will sound, then back to the voice. yes, that is scary!! to sleep through the fire alarm. they also have one that you can have the parents voice say, wake up, fire, fire, or whatever you want it to say. Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: lol I slept through my smoke alarm not long ago too. In fact my oldest son was the only one of the four of us (my husband was at work) who heard it. Kinda scary. I guess I need to look into it and see if they make louder ones lol -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Ha ha. No more babies - hubby got the ole " snipper-oooooo " . There are so many neat inventions out there, aren't there? Robin Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: Robin, that crib thing against the bed that you did. *they actually make cribs just for that* When I was nursing, I saw in a magazine, a crib that attaches to the bed. I didn't get one because I already had two cribs, and had to buy another two for the sitter's home. but they are really cool looking. and made just for that purpose, to attach to the bed.. very convenient too. Maybe for your next baby??? Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: We do have some things in common, don't we? I loved the bassinet's too. We also removed 1 side of the 1 crib we ever had and pushed our bed up against IT, which was against the wall. This was awesome too. It was when we still were feeling " guilty " for wanting him in our bed......so we thought as long as he was in the crib, it wasn't " sleeping together " . I wound up with my top `1/2 in the crib one night when Ian was moving a lot. Nice picture. haa ha. I missed out on the sling too but would have loved it. I saw someone using it today, actually, and it really looks like the way a baby SHOULD be held/carried. So snug and close. When topics like this come up, I often wonder if we wouldn't be as close as we are if we hadn't made the " bed " and " attachment parenting " choices we made. I'm really glad we did it this way (and continue to). Where do you hail from? Robin Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: My kids get in bed with my husband and I sometimes too. Sometimes it's because they're scared (Trey slept with us just last night for this reason), sometimes they might feel sad or even might just want to be somewhere different. They don't do it every night and they don't get to every time they want to. In fact there are times we ask if they want to and they don't. Eventually they'll outgrow wanting to sleep with us so right now, I enjoy the cuddle time while I can. My babies were always held by me too or they were at least very near me. When they were still small enough for the bassinett (*love* those btw) they were never in a different room. I wanted them to feel safe and secure and loved at all times and I sincerely believe that helps form a stronger bond. When they got too big for that, I used a baby carrier and carried them on my belly and then moved them to my back when they got bigger again. (Unfortunately I completely missed out on the wrap and sling somehow) Like you, I'm not saying everyone needs to do things " my " way (or our way as it seems we have a lot in common lol) but this is what worked best for us. I have let mine cry, but never for more than 20 minutes and I didn't even do that " letting them cry " thing long. I didn't see any reason to let them cry it out with making everyone in the house tense and feel guilty. So what if they don't cry it out? It never " spoiled " them and they all slept just fine as babies and toddlers and in fact all three slept through the night at a much younger age than my friends kids who were crying it out every night. There's a difference between whining, crying and really sobbing. Whining I would let go and see if they'd settle on their own, if not, I was there, but she'd let her babies downright sob and bawl. It was so heartbreaking. Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble lol but I just wanted to let you know that I agree with you and we seem to have another thing in common! lol -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 yes, makes ya want another? Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: Ha ha. No more babies - hubby got the ole " snipper-oooooo " . There are so many neat inventions out there, aren't there? Robin Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: Robin, that crib thing against the bed that you did. *they actually make cribs just for that* When I was nursing, I saw in a magazine, a crib that attaches to the bed. I didn't get one because I already had two cribs, and had to buy another two for the sitter's home. but they are really cool looking. and made just for that purpose, to attach to the bed.. very convenient too. Maybe for your next baby??? Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: We do have some things in common, don't we? I loved the bassinet's too. We also removed 1 side of the 1 crib we ever had and pushed our bed up against IT, which was against the wall. This was awesome too. It was when we still were feeling " guilty " for wanting him in our bed......so we thought as long as he was in the crib, it wasn't " sleeping together " . I wound up with my top `1/2 in the crib one night when Ian was moving a lot. Nice picture. haa ha. I missed out on the sling too but would have loved it. I saw someone using it today, actually, and it really looks like the way a baby SHOULD be held/carried. So snug and close. When topics like this come up, I often wonder if we wouldn't be as close as we are if we hadn't made the " bed " and " attachment parenting " choices we made. I'm really glad we did it this way (and continue to). Where do you hail from? Robin Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: My kids get in bed with my husband and I sometimes too. Sometimes it's because they're scared (Trey slept with us just last night for this reason), sometimes they might feel sad or even might just want to be somewhere different. They don't do it every night and they don't get to every time they want to. In fact there are times we ask if they want to and they don't. Eventually they'll outgrow wanting to sleep with us so right now, I enjoy the cuddle time while I can. My babies were always held by me too or they were at least very near me. When they were still small enough for the bassinett (*love* those btw) they were never in a different room. I wanted them to feel safe and secure and loved at all times and I sincerely believe that helps form a stronger bond. When they got too big for that, I used a baby carrier and carried them on my belly and then moved them to my back when they got bigger again. (Unfortunately I completely missed out on the wrap and sling somehow) Like you, I'm not saying everyone needs to do things " my " way (or our way as it seems we have a lot in common lol) but this is what worked best for us. I have let mine cry, but never for more than 20 minutes and I didn't even do that " letting them cry " thing long. I didn't see any reason to let them cry it out with making everyone in the house tense and feel guilty. So what if they don't cry it out? It never " spoiled " them and they all slept just fine as babies and toddlers and in fact all three slept through the night at a much younger age than my friends kids who were crying it out every night. There's a difference between whining, crying and really sobbing. Whining I would let go and see if they'd settle on their own, if not, I was there, but she'd let her babies downright sob and bawl. It was so heartbreaking. Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble lol but I just wanted to let you know that I agree with you and we seem to have another thing in common! lol -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Oh...I have to sing the praises of the baby sling!!!! It was wonderful, so cozy fro each of us and provided dd with the input she needed with out the skin contact! Plus...it was great for nursing in public :-) - C. Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 , I'm sorry but you're wrong. Lots and lots of children throughout the world sleep with their parents and they do just fine. It's a very recent and European phenomenon to separate young children from their mothers at night. When my was little she absolutely needed to be with me. She was up during the night regularly for many years, and I simply could not get out of bed several nights and walk across the hall to her room. I was so exhausted I was not able to care for her that way. Putting her in my room, I could care for her every moment that she needed me!!! I could be a much better Mom to her, so she could be a much happier, more stable, content child. For MY sake, I couldn't have her directly in the bed with me. For MY comfort and sanity I needed some space, NOT for HERS. I had her crib, bassinet, toddler bed, whatever she was in at the time, right next to mine for her first few years, until my now ex insisted she move to her own room. I refused to put up baby gates between us however, and kept an extra matterss on the floor of my room for her so she could be with me if she needed me. If this sleeping situation is not what YOU prefer, that's fine!!! But don't assume that because it's what's best for YOU that it's what's best for every child. Meira > Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: > Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an > intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate > for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has > always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he > wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying > no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes > it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an > expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not > sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause > major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can > t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I > remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's > SAKE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 That doesn't have to stop you. =) > > Ha ha. No more babies - hubby got the ole " snipper-oooooo " . > There are so many neat inventions out there, aren't there? > Robin > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 I don't doubt for a second that more people do this than not. Maybe not all the time,,,,,but that allow it for the wonderful comfort it brings. I never understood complying with someone who told me NOT to do something that calms my wild children, opens communication, comforts a sick child, basically calms everyone, costs nothing, doesn't rot your teeth and makes them feel good about themselves. Hee hee Robin happybrats3@... wrote: Oh I missed the wrap/sling too! I so wish I had done this with my kids. I am a single mom and my kids, ages 7 and 4, take turns sleeping with me. I see no problem at all with it, yet others do. This is their special time with me as we talk about our day and such. It's their one on one with me. As I always say, my kids, my life, and I do what is best for us. I could care less what the " experts " say, they are not here day in and day out. It works for us and that's what matters. Tracey Shockey _MYspace_ (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\ 4800) _Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to just feel better? Home of _GET CLEAN_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy/getclean/index) , non toxic cleaners Home of _CINCH_ (http://www.cinchplan.com/wellnessiseasy) , powerful and proven inch loss _Mia Bella_ (http://www.burningandearning.com/) the best candles you'll ever burn _Tart burners_ (http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3) Great selection and colors for every decor! ELECTRIC ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 You hit the nail on the head. Ya gotta do what works for you. Robin Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: Robin, this came up one time at a parenting class I went to, and a parent said, its only " dirty " if the adults think it is. If that makes sense to you? I knew an older woman (approx in her 60ies) said, if you pick up a baby just because they cried, you will ruin them. hummm, I always pick my kids up when they cried. at 8 & 9 years old, they hardly cry. (when they fall off their bikes, yes). they don't cry because another child won a prize/game and they didn't. others say, they will pick them up when they cry. it comforts them and builds up there self esteem. Some say, crying helps their lungs??? *you will always find a book that will contradict* another. LOL look at the diet books. some say Dr. Atlas book " eat all the meat you want diet, and lose weight " is the best!!! another book will say, Dr. Atlas books could cause a heart attack and kill you. same with parenting, as you already know. Do whats best for your children/family. I don't see anything wrong with it " unless that parent feels there is " . ***That's OK too***. SMILE all parenting skills are so different. some relate, some don't. some parents let their children sleep in their rooms with a sleeping bag next to them on the floor, some make sleeping fun and put a tent in their rooms with a sleeping bag like camping. some remodel the rooms. and some, let their kids in their beds with them. (parents) I'm the one that wrote, I can't sleep with my kids in my bed because they hog the blankets, kick, turn and I don't get any sleep, which I need. So, when my kids need that extra support at night, climb into my bed with me, I climb out and get into theirs. but, my kids are ok with that. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,,, I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders, so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple " bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,,,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes, it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can't remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 I just " map-quested " from Fond du Lac to Columbus and it's about 8 hours. Yikes. It would be neat to have a bit weekend gathering at a " somewhat " central location some year. Imagine all of our kids FINALLY with others like them!!!! AND understanding adults!!! Robin Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: rofl What an adorable image though! I'm terrible with geography (even my own lol) so I asked my husband how far we are from Chicago. He said our distance is " so far you don't want to know " and then he came out with the truth and said " I don't know " but he did say we're southeast of Chicago lol He's a big help isn't he? So I guess we're " so far you don't want to know " plus 2 1/2-3 hours away rofl -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 I wish I could back in time and get one. They just look so darned awesome!!!! The s <carters5@...> wrote: Oh...I have to sing the praises of the baby sling!!!! It was wonderful, so cozy fro each of us and provided dd with the input she needed with out the skin contact! Plus...it was great for nursing in public :-) - C. Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 Ohh my! lol That'd be quite a drive! It would be neat to be able to get together like that though. I doubt I could do it though honestly, I have a hard time following driving directions and hubby won't come along because he doesn't want any part of any of " that stuff " . He's in a perpetual denial phase. -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 I too love the baby sling, and still use it on occassion with my 2.5yr old daughter as she can ride on my hip in it. It is a back saver, and at times the only thing that seems to comfort her is being " snugged up close to mommy " while I am walking around. Being confined in it is sooting to her. Its also easier to take to a park than a stroller in case she gets tired during a walk. -Amie > Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's > really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in > it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to > sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval > pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my > son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine > 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't > think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and > then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping > problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he > wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild > person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going > through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through > eating > issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food > like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat > Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter, {toast and > sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write > back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi > Van Oss > > __________________________________________________________ > Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. > Try the free Beta. > http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 8 hours? maybe you both can plan to meet in the middle? A four hour trip each. you can easily go to AAA and ask them to map out directions to meet in the middle. spend the day, have a picnic, and have fun!!!! go for it!!!... summer is almost here. maybe there is a nice beach, lake, something fun for the family... 4 hours is not so bad....don't forget the DVD player...and --- have a safe fun trip... Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: Ohh my! lol That'd be quite a drive! It would be neat to be able to get together like that though. I doubt I could do it though honestly, I have a hard time following driving directions and hubby won't come along because he doesn't want any part of any of " that stuff " . He's in a perpetual denial phase. -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 Oh,,,,I know. Hee hee. We got Sam by way of Care and,,,,though I say we're done.........who knows? My kids are always saying how they sure would like an " 8 " yr old sister or whatever. They all wish they had someone else to hang with. It's wierd, because we have friends who if you ask the kids if they'd like another brother or sister,,,,,,the kids say, " no way " right away. I never understood that. Mine always want more. Hee hee. Robin meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote: That doesn't have to stop you. =) > > Ha ha. No more babies - hubby got the ole " snipper-oooooo " . > There are so many neat inventions out there, aren't there? > Robin > --------------------------------- Finding fabulous fares is fun. Let FareChase search your favorite travel sites to find flight and hotel bargains. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 Has this group ever done anything like try to get together for a weekend? and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: I just " map-quested " from Fond du Lac to Columbus and it's about 8 hours. Yikes. It would be neat to have a bit weekend gathering at a " somewhat " central location some year. Imagine all of our kids FINALLY with others like them!!!! AND understanding adults!!! Robin Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: rofl What an adorable image though! I'm terrible with geography (even my own lol) so I asked my husband how far we are from Chicago. He said our distance is " so far you don't want to know " and then he came out with the truth and said " I don't know " but he did say we're southeast of Chicago lol He's a big help isn't he? So I guess we're " so far you don't want to know " plus 2 1/2-3 hours away rofl -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 I think it'd be awesome for the " group " to pick a spot and we all try to make it. That would be one incredible hotel experience (or camping experience). Do any of you camp? Robin Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: 8 hours? maybe you both can plan to meet in the middle? A four hour trip each. you can easily go to AAA and ask them to map out directions to meet in the middle. spend the day, have a picnic, and have fun!!!! go for it!!!... summer is almost here. maybe there is a nice beach, lake, something fun for the family... 4 hours is not so bad....don't forget the DVD player...and --- have a safe fun trip... Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: Ohh my! lol That'd be quite a drive! It would be neat to be able to get together like that though. I doubt I could do it though honestly, I have a hard time following driving directions and hubby won't come along because he doesn't want any part of any of " that stuff " . He's in a perpetual denial phase. -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 Ohh I would really really love to meet! Heck I'd be just as happy to talk on the phone! lol I don't mean to be a downer, but it sure does get lonely sometimes. I've got DH here, but like I said, he's in that perpetual denial phase and doesn't believe a thing is wrong so he's no help at all. I always have my mom, but now she's gone for the summer :\ -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 ugh Isn't that miserable? Maybe some of us in the group would like to at least swap numbers or something? Sometimes it's easier and more comforting to be able to *talk* talk as opposed to writing. Maybe we could set up a database of who would want to along with the best times for them to talk? I don't know if that's a good idea or if it can be worked on, but it's a thought. I wouldn't mind sharing my number and I have free long distance to any where in the continental US. I dunno, it's a thought lol -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys .. well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can we talk?? it seems never:( Toni Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they re at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out .. You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don t think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 Hello Jenn, It would be very nice but hard for a whole group to meet? people work different hours, money situations. I don't think my car would make it on a far trip anymore. I've put on many mileage. It could work better with a group of people from your state. What if you post your state, have them e-mail you. exchange phone numbers and you could arrange to meet? Autism/aspergers groups are awesome too. Over by me, the parents get together once a month, they bring a dessert dish to pass and all chip in for pizza/soda. The meeting is about two hours long. The group decides if they will have an open conversation of pick a topic. the parents are fun. If you don't have a group started, maybe you would like to start your own. You can meet at a public library. A small group can meet at a different home once a month. Maybe your school would let you use an empty room or even the church. does this sound like something you would be interested in? you seem to have lots of energy to start a group. Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: Ohh I would really really love to meet! Heck I'd be just as happy to talk on the phone! lol I don't mean to be a downer, but it sure does get lonely sometimes. I've got DH here, but like I said, he's in that perpetual denial phase and doesn't believe a thing is wrong so he's no help at all. I always have my mom, but now she's gone for the summer :\ -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 Jenn, someone started that on this site a few months back. They sent e-mails and exchanged phone numbers. Someone started an Autism chat group, if you have a mic. you can chat to more than one person at a time. for the subject spot, type in, who wants to exchange phone numbers? They can exchange numbers straight to your e-mail. hope this was helpful? Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: ugh Isn't that miserable? Maybe some of us in the group would like to at least swap numbers or something? Sometimes it's easier and more comforting to be able to *talk* talk as opposed to writing. Maybe we could set up a database of who would want to along with the best times for them to talk? I don't know if that's a good idea or if it can be worked on, but it's a thought. I wouldn't mind sharing my number and I have free long distance to any where in the continental US. I dunno, it's a thought lol -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too I would love to meet somewhere. I understand you Jenn, I have a dh too but he is always telling me when he gets home: We are not talking about the boys .. well, we can't do it while you're off flying around somewhere, WHEN can we talk?? it seems never:( Toni Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they re at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out .. You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don t think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 Hi Rose, I agree it would be hard for the whole group to meet especially with our group covering such a wide geographical span. Robin and I were just talking about how far she and I lived from one another, I'm not sure who's idea it was for the whole group to meet. I'm a member of an ASD support group here locally, but it's just started and has only had one meeting so far and of course, just my luck, I couldn't make it to the first one lol I'm hoping to make it to the second though. -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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