Guest guest Posted March 29, 2007 Report Share Posted March 29, 2007 Heidi, My daughter didn't sleep through the night until just before her 8th birthday. Clonidine did help to a degree. If he's sleeping all day and up all night, when are you giving it to him? Pehaps adjust the time? I would give it to her at 4pm, and she would conk out at 7pm for a few hours anyway. One thing to watch about Clonidine- it can cause heart problems. Make sure you have an EKG done now, and every time you up the dosage. It enlarged 's heart. We were very lucky the pediatrician was on top of that possibility, as she ordered regular EKGs and caught it in time. The cocktail that finally got her to start sleeping through the night was pretty intense, but once her body caught on to the whole sleep through the night thing, we were able to lower her meds a lot. It seemed to be a question of finding a way to teach her mind to shut down for several hours at a stretch, which it took her almost eight years to do. It's one of the main reasons I put her in preschool as a toddler, for a few hours a day- so I could sleep! Talk about exhausted Mommy! Know that you're not alone!! Meira > > Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating > issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2007 Report Share Posted March 29, 2007 I'm no doctor, but isn't Prozac pretty activating? Liz On Mar 29, 2007, at 12:28 AM, Heidi Van Oss wrote: > Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed > and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and > he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if > we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a > tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am > going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's > neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on > Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in > the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at > least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put > him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but > it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and > then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus > around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through > this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going > through eating > issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby > food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes > he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is > Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I > don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you > know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss > > __________________________________________________________ > Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. > Try the free Beta. > http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2007 Report Share Posted March 29, 2007 My would eat nothing but biscuits at that age. So I bought plain cracker biscuits. They are just as good as bread, but in a drier tastier form. He likes watermelon too. He is five now and still very thin. But he is very strong and full of energy, so I am not too worried about him. I just invited him to try different foods. He eats wheat biscuits for breakfast and most other foods we eat too. I just try and keep it moderately balanced (he can have sugar, but not a cup full for breakfast). Regarding sleep...he used to stay awake till very late then fall asleep anywhere. We'd find him under his bed, in a sibling's bed, in my bed, and often in front of the heater (which could pose a problem....a sensory issue I think!!!). It was a nightmare at the time not knowing where he was going to go at night time. But now, he sleeps through the night in his own bed. I'd like to encourage you to hang in there. You will get through this and things will settle down. Marlicia. ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision. webevents. / mailbeta/ features_ spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2007 Report Share Posted March 29, 2007 OMG !!! Where would we be without SALTEEN CRACKERS!!! I forgot those days .. Cracker.. Cracker.. Cracker!!! LOL you brought back some memories there! -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too My would eat nothing but biscuits at that age. So I bought plain cracker biscuits. They are just as good as bread, but in a drier tastier form. He likes watermelon too. He is five now and still very thin. But he is very strong and full of energy, so I am not too worried about him. I just invited him to try different foods. He eats wheat biscuits for breakfast and most other foods we eat too. I just try and keep it moderately balanced (he can have sugar, but not a cup full for br eakfast). Regarding sleep...he used to stay awake till very late then fall asleep anywhere. We'd find him under his bed, in a sibling's bed, in my bed, and often in front of the heater (which could pose a problem....a sensory issue I think!!!). It was a nightmare at the time not knowing where he was going to go at night time. But now, he sleeps through the night in his own bed. I'd like to encourage you to hang in there. You will get through this and things will settle down. Marlicia. ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision. webevents. / mailbeta/ features_ spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2007 Report Share Posted March 29, 2007 Speaking from my own experience, Prozac gave me insomnia at night and made me tired during the day. Same for Zoloft. Liz Houston Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote: I'm no doctor, but isn't Prozac pretty activating? Liz On Mar 29, 2007, at 12:28 AM, Heidi Van Oss wrote: > Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed > and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and > he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if > we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a > tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am > going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's > neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on > Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in > the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at > least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put > him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but > it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and > then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus > around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through > this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going > through eating > issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby > food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes > he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is > Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I > don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you > know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss > > __________________________________________________________ > Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. > Try the free Beta. > http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2007 Report Share Posted March 29, 2007 At that age lived on peanutbutter. Out of the jar with a spoon. Also some macaroni and cheese and the few fruits that she was not allergic to. Meira > Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating > issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 My then 16 yo was on Prozac and that is when we (I) ended up putting him in the State hospital. He is bp too though so it made him worse. Meds effect all our kids differently. I'd ask the dr if maybe you can d/c the prozac and see if his behavior improves or reduce it. Made my son more suicidal and VERY aggressive towards me. Toni Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Speaking from my own experience, Prozac gave me insomnia at night and made me tired during the day. Same for Zoloft. Liz Houston Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote: I'm no doctor, but isn't Prozac pretty activating? Liz On Mar 29, 2007, at 12:28 AM, Heidi Van Oss wrote: > Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed > and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and > he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if > we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a > tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am > going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's > neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on > Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in > the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at > least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put > him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but > it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and > then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus > around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through > this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going > through eating > issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby > food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes > he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is > Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I > don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you > know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss > > __________________________________________________________ > Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. > Try the free Beta. > http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes, it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can't remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,,, I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders, so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple " bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,,,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes, it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can't remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 My kids get in bed with my husband and I sometimes too. Sometimes it's because they're scared (Trey slept with us just last night for this reason), sometimes they might feel sad or even might just want to be somewhere different. They don't do it every night and they don't get to every time they want to. In fact there are times we ask if they want to and they don't. Eventually they'll outgrow wanting to sleep with us so right now, I enjoy the cuddle time while I can. My babies were always held by me too or they were at least very near me. When they were still small enough for the bassinett (*love* those btw) they were never in a different room. I wanted them to feel safe and secure and loved at all times and I sincerely believe that helps form a stronger bond. When they got too big for that, I used a baby carrier and carried them on my belly and then moved them to my back when they got bigger again. (Unfortunately I completely missed out on the wrap and sling somehow) Like you, I'm not saying everyone needs to do things " my " way (or our way as it seems we have a lot in common lol) but this is what worked best for us. I have let mine cry, but never for more than 20 minutes and I didn't even do that " letting them cry " thing long. I didn't see any reason to let them cry it out with making everyone in the house tense and feel guilty. So what if they don't cry it out? It never " spoiled " them and they all slept just fine as babies and toddlers and in fact all three slept through the night at a much younger age than my friends kids who were crying it out every night. There's a difference between whining, crying and really sobbing. Whining I would let go and see if they'd settle on their own, if not, I was there, but she'd let her babies downright sob and bawl. It was so heartbreaking. Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble lol but I just wanted to let you know that I agree with you and we seem to have another thing in common! lol -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 We do have some things in common, don't we? I loved the bassinet's too. We also removed 1 side of the 1 crib we ever had and pushed our bed up against IT, which was against the wall. This was awesome too. It was when we still were feeling " guilty " for wanting him in our bed......so we thought as long as he was in the crib, it wasn't " sleeping together " . I wound up with my top `1/2 in the crib one night when Ian was moving a lot. Nice picture. haa ha. I missed out on the sling too but would have loved it. I saw someone using it today, actually, and it really looks like the way a baby SHOULD be held/carried. So snug and close. When topics like this come up, I often wonder if we wouldn't be as close as we are if we hadn't made the " bed " and " attachment parenting " choices we made. I'm really glad we did it this way (and continue to). Where do you hail from? Robin Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: My kids get in bed with my husband and I sometimes too. Sometimes it's because they're scared (Trey slept with us just last night for this reason), sometimes they might feel sad or even might just want to be somewhere different. They don't do it every night and they don't get to every time they want to. In fact there are times we ask if they want to and they don't. Eventually they'll outgrow wanting to sleep with us so right now, I enjoy the cuddle time while I can. My babies were always held by me too or they were at least very near me. When they were still small enough for the bassinett (*love* those btw) they were never in a different room. I wanted them to feel safe and secure and loved at all times and I sincerely believe that helps form a stronger bond. When they got too big for that, I used a baby carrier and carried them on my belly and then moved them to my back when they got bigger again. (Unfortunately I completely missed out on the wrap and sling somehow) Like you, I'm not saying everyone needs to do things " my " way (or our way as it seems we have a lot in common lol) but this is what worked best for us. I have let mine cry, but never for more than 20 minutes and I didn't even do that " letting them cry " thing long. I didn't see any reason to let them cry it out with making everyone in the house tense and feel guilty. So what if they don't cry it out? It never " spoiled " them and they all slept just fine as babies and toddlers and in fact all three slept through the night at a much younger age than my friends kids who were crying it out every night. There's a difference between whining, crying and really sobbing. Whining I would let go and see if they'd settle on their own, if not, I was there, but she'd let her babies downright sob and bawl. It was so heartbreaking. Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble lol but I just wanted to let you know that I agree with you and we seem to have another thing in common! lol -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2007 Report Share Posted March 30, 2007 What a good idea though to have the bed up against the crib! You know, I'm surprised I never thought of that lol I bet you looked cute half in the crib though! rofl I really do think that things like that help form a stronger bond. It just seems like it would. I'm in Ohio, right on the Oh/WV/Pa border. -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Oh I missed the wrap/sling too! I so wish I had done this with my kids. I am a single mom and my kids, ages 7 and 4, take turns sleeping with me. I see no problem at all with it, yet others do. This is their special time with me as we talk about our day and such. It's their one on one with me. As I always say, my kids, my life, and I do what is best for us. I could care less what the " experts " say, they are not here day in and day out. It works for us and that's what matters. Tracey Shockey _MYspace_ (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\ 4800) _Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to just feel better? Home of _GET CLEAN_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy/getclean/index) , non toxic cleaners Home of _CINCH_ (http://www.cinchplan.com/wellnessiseasy) , powerful and proven inch loss _Mia Bella_ (http://www.burningandearning.com/) the best candles you'll ever burn _Tart burners_ (http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3) Great selection and colors for every decor! ELECTRIC ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Yeah,,,,,,real cute. Nothing like being a new (naive), breastfeeding, leeking mother sleeping in a crib. Ha ha. We're in Wisconsin. 2 1/2 -3 hours north of Chicago. Robin Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: What a good idea though to have the bed up against the crib! You know, I'm surprised I never thought of that lol I bet you looked cute half in the crib though! rofl I really do think that things like that help form a stronger bond. It just seems like it would. I'm in Ohio, right on the Oh/WV/Pa border. -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Just wanted to make an observation if I may. Not only is Autism generally speaking a wide spectrum " disorder " ( I personally don't consider Asperger's a disorder, but just another way of processing). But there are varying degrees of Asperger's as well. The one thing that my son did well was sleep. This was a kid who has slept through 3, count 'em 3 earthquakes. Tena Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: Yeah,,,,,,real cute. Nothing like being a new (naive), breastfeeding, leeking mother sleeping in a crib. Ha ha. We're in Wisconsin. 2 1/2 -3 hours north of Chicago. Robin Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: What a good idea though to have the bed up against the crib! You know, I'm surprised I never thought of that lol I bet you looked cute half in the crib though! rofl I really do think that things like that help form a stronger bond. It just seems like it would. I'm in Ohio, right on the Oh/WV/Pa border. -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Robin, this came up one time at a parenting class I went to, and a parent said, its only " dirty " if the adults think it is. If that makes sense to you? I knew an older woman (approx in her 60ies) said, if you pick up a baby just because they cried, you will ruin them. hummm, I always pick my kids up when they cried. at 8 & 9 years old, they hardly cry. (when they fall off their bikes, yes). they don't cry because another child won a prize/game and they didn't. others say, they will pick them up when they cry. it comforts them and builds up there self esteem. Some say, crying helps their lungs??? *you will always find a book that will contradict* another. LOL look at the diet books. some say Dr. Atlas book " eat all the meat you want diet, and lose weight " is the best!!! another book will say, Dr. Atlas books could cause a heart attack and kill you. same with parenting, as you already know. Do whats best for your children/family. I don't see anything wrong with it " unless that parent feels there is " . ***That's OK too***. SMILE all parenting skills are so different. some relate, some don't. some parents let their children sleep in their rooms with a sleeping bag next to them on the floor, some make sleeping fun and put a tent in their rooms with a sleeping bag like camping. some remodel the rooms. and some, let their kids in their beds with them. (parents) I'm the one that wrote, I can't sleep with my kids in my bed because they hog the blankets, kick, turn and I don't get any sleep, which I need. So, when my kids need that extra support at night, climb into my bed with me, I climb out and get into theirs. but, my kids are ok with that. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,,, I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders, so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple " bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,,,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes, it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can't remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 rofl What an adorable image though! I'm terrible with geography (even my own lol) so I asked my husband how far we are from Chicago. He said our distance is " so far you don't want to know " and then he came out with the truth and said " I don't know " but he did say we're southeast of Chicago lol He's a big help isn't he? So I guess we're " so far you don't want to know " plus 2 1/2-3 hours away rofl -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Well I totally agree on all that you said. It's nice to hear the side of a real person that feels that way. I think I've always given too much credit to professionals as well as my son's father and my current husband. Even though for me, I would love to let my little guy sleep with me, I got SO much crap for wanting that when my son was a baby from his dad, plus the doctors and therapists saying that it was a big no no, that I just honestly really thought I was being selfish. We split up when my son was almost 3 and when I lived on my own and had my son only half the week, I did let him sleep in my bed sometimes. It started out because he got sick for about a week strait and we were in a new home. I didn't want him to be scared AND there was no one there to tell me no!! It wasn't every night, it was on and off for about a year, depending on how he was doing and feeling. But I have to admit, I loved snuggling so much!! I moved in with my current husband when my son was 7 and by that point my son was only coming into my bed in the morning to watch cartoons. This was something my new hubby did not like one little bit. Once again I thought I was the one being selfish. Some of my favorite memories was going into my dad's room in the morning and watching cartoons. At my mom's house my stepdad wouldn't allow that and that always bothered me. This was a huge problem for me when we first moved in together. In the end, I could see where he was coming from and I may have been overly sensitive about it because of my childhood experiences. But it didn't seem to bother my son any, I just told him to wake me up in the morning and I'll come out to the couch and we could snuggle there and watch cartoons. Then during an Asperger Support Group meeting there was a therapit speaker and the topic was kids sleeping in there parents bed and what a big no no that was. And my son's dad and my current hubby kept looking right at me when she'd say certain things that I was " guilty " of. So I guess what I heard from you and I actually agreed with, I hear the oposite from ALL the people in my life, that I thought I must be in the wrong. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,,,, I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders, so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple " bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,,,,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes, it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can't remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Robin, that crib thing against the bed that you did. *they actually make cribs just for that* When I was nursing, I saw in a magazine, a crib that attaches to the bed. I didn't get one because I already had two cribs, and had to buy another two for the sitter's home. but they are really cool looking. and made just for that purpose, to attach to the bed.. very convenient too. Maybe for your next baby??? Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: We do have some things in common, don't we? I loved the bassinet's too. We also removed 1 side of the 1 crib we ever had and pushed our bed up against IT, which was against the wall. This was awesome too. It was when we still were feeling " guilty " for wanting him in our bed......so we thought as long as he was in the crib, it wasn't " sleeping together " . I wound up with my top `1/2 in the crib one night when Ian was moving a lot. Nice picture. haa ha. I missed out on the sling too but would have loved it. I saw someone using it today, actually, and it really looks like the way a baby SHOULD be held/carried. So snug and close. When topics like this come up, I often wonder if we wouldn't be as close as we are if we hadn't made the " bed " and " attachment parenting " choices we made. I'm really glad we did it this way (and continue to). Where do you hail from? Robin Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: My kids get in bed with my husband and I sometimes too. Sometimes it's because they're scared (Trey slept with us just last night for this reason), sometimes they might feel sad or even might just want to be somewhere different. They don't do it every night and they don't get to every time they want to. In fact there are times we ask if they want to and they don't. Eventually they'll outgrow wanting to sleep with us so right now, I enjoy the cuddle time while I can. My babies were always held by me too or they were at least very near me. When they were still small enough for the bassinett (*love* those btw) they were never in a different room. I wanted them to feel safe and secure and loved at all times and I sincerely believe that helps form a stronger bond. When they got too big for that, I used a baby carrier and carried them on my belly and then moved them to my back when they got bigger again. (Unfortunately I completely missed out on the wrap and sling somehow) Like you, I'm not saying everyone needs to do things " my " way (or our way as it seems we have a lot in common lol) but this is what worked best for us. I have let mine cry, but never for more than 20 minutes and I didn't even do that " letting them cry " thing long. I didn't see any reason to let them cry it out with making everyone in the house tense and feel guilty. So what if they don't cry it out? It never " spoiled " them and they all slept just fine as babies and toddlers and in fact all three slept through the night at a much younger age than my friends kids who were crying it out every night. There's a difference between whining, crying and really sobbing. Whining I would let go and see if they'd settle on their own, if not, I was there, but she'd let her babies downright sob and bawl. It was so heartbreaking. Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble lol but I just wanted to let you know that I agree with you and we seem to have another thing in common! lol -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Ohh wow! lol Trey's a pretty heavy sleeper once he's asleep and I've never experienced an earthquake, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't sleep through one -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Oh wow how neat! I didn't know they made those! -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 When I was cooking, the heat from the oven set off the smoke alarm. My daughter slept right through it. we then got the smoke alarm that talks, sound alarm, and again talk. but, she will sleep right through that as well. I don't think an earthquake will wake her either. Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: Ohh wow! lol Trey's a pretty heavy sleeper once he's asleep and I've never experienced an earthquake, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't sleep through one -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 Jenn, if you patterned (spelling) that, you would be making good money now. you probably were the first to invent it. Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote: Oh wow how neat! I didn't know they made those! -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2007 Report Share Posted March 31, 2007 lol I slept through my smoke alarm not long ago too. In fact my oldest son was the only one of the four of us (my husband was at work) who heard it. Kinda scary. I guess I need to look into it and see if they make louder ones lol -Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression) Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs Anxiety/Depression) and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's) -- Re: ( ) My son has sleeping issues too Hi. Even though I was caught off-guard by your comment of " child or fair to myself and my husband toit wouldn't be appropriate for my do that " ,,,,,,,,, , I understand where you're coming from. We just looked at it as a need. If they would cry because they were hungry, we would feed them. If they cried because they had a bad dream, we'd comfort them. If they hurt themselves, we fix them up. All or our children on this site have disorders so we get them whatever help we can. For us,,,,,when our children want to be with us at night, we welcome it. It is a need for affection that we don't always see during the day, whether it's because they just don't want to, or are busy playing or because they're at school. My son unwinds and calms down with the computer after school. My daughters get a snack and we do homework and then watch Arthur. Another child rides his bike. The US is one of the few countries who do not advocate sleeping " as a family " and is one of the only countries who have people, other than family members, tell them to " let your child cry it out " . You're right, they do stop crying and " learn " after a while. They give up. No,,,,,,I'm not saying they are ruined from having to " cry it out " - of course they aren't. What I'm saying is that cuddling and being close to one-another is a basic need/want. My babies were always carried and held by us - constantly. And as they grew, it was simply our way of life to share the " family bed " . (This is also a great book - " THE FAMILY BED " ). But, it has to be a mutual decision. If you don't want it,,,,,,then you shouldn't. It is only going to cause tension,,,, just like anything else that is " imposed " on us when not welcome. As far as reading up on it,,,,,,,,,I have. And I've found incredible books that say it's the most wonderful, calming, bonding, soothing and natural thing out there. I've also read that it will " ruin " a marriage as well as the child. Personally, my kids all sleep in their own beds - most of the time, too. They have friends and are involved in different activities, sleep over at friends and are actually quite outgoing. If anything, I think this simple bonding time " adds to their self-confidence. There are also nights, though, when we tell them,,,, " hey,,,,,,why don't you stay in yours tonight and you can come in tomorrow " . They're ok with that. Also,,,,,our marriage is fine. We have many kids - we just don't do it in the bed - at night. Hee hee. I guess, in a nutshell,,,,,it made me sad when you wrote that you heard that " NO MATTER WHAT, not to let a child sleep with the parent " . Your child is YOURS,,,,,,,,,,You have the right to comfort your child any darned way you choose. This to me, is like saying it's gonna mess them up. We're not talking about un-monitored tv, un-monitored computer, non-stop violent video games, drugs, alcohol, bullying, not paying attention to your children, not eating together at the supper table, not teaching them self-confidence, not teaching them self-respect or spending time with them. It's simply letting your kid get in your bed cause they want to be with you. Once they're there, if it's a highly strung kid or very " tense " kid,,, ,they may calm down and feel safe. That's a good thing. It's too bad that it's looked at as such a " dirty " or " selfish " thing to do that's going only going to hurt the child. I also think that more people do it and don't admit it, because of the stigma. Oh well. Didn't mean to make this a sermon. I know we don't all agree and certainly, what works for 1 isn't going to work for all. I just wanted to clarify that we weren't freaks. We are normal parents who have chosen to allow our kids in our bed if they choose. Robin Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Personally I would never let a child sleep in my bed. That is an intimate place for my husband and I and I don't feel it would be appropriate for my child or fair to myself and my husband to allow that. My son has always been told to stay in bed and if he can't sleep, he can read. If he wants to tantrum, fine, just do it in your room. It may take a lot of saying no but it's worth it, once they know your serious. If you allow it sometimes it will be much harder to get them to not sleep in your bed. I'm not an expert, but I've heard that it's best for the child NO MATTER WHAT to not sleep with their parents. You may want to read up about it. It can cause major problems later in life about comfort, sleeping with others, etc. I can t remember all of what I read about it (that was 9 years ago), but I remember thinking that no matter what, I would not do that FOR THE CHILD's SAKE. Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: As far as the sleeping issue,,,,,,,if you happily let him in your bed,,,,,,,what is his night like? What if he sleeps calmly and it changes how his day is? It's a cheap thing to try.......hee hee. And will have no side effects except you guys may not be too used to it. We did it for all of our kids and my husband had the hard time sleeping with them because they slept spread eagle............we eventually had to buy a large couch to accomodate him. This has been a joke for years. Anyway,,,,,,it was a simple thing that helped them tremendously. Let me know if you try it and it works. Also,,,,,,,,,,,,by telling a medical professional that your child sleeps with you for comfort is not the thing to do if you want approval. We learned this early on. Most want you to let " them learn " . We just couldn't do that - but you have to find what works for your family. Good luck. Robin Heidi Van Oss <vanossheidi38@...> wrote: Hello, my son is almost three and he won't sleep in his bed and it's really frustrating because he has a full size bunk-bed and he won't sleep in it, he has to sleep with Me and my husband and if we tell him that he has to sleep in his own bed , he has a tantrum . he is supposed to have his OT eval pretty soon so I am going to let them know about it and every time I tell my son's neurologist, he just keeps increasing his meds, my son is on Clonidine 3pills at bedtime,and Prozac 25 mg at night and 25mg in the morning,I don't think they are helping because he gets up at least once in the night and then he wants to sleep all day, he put him on those meds for sleeping problems and behavior problems but it seems to make it worse because he wants to sleep all day and then at night he's so hyper he is like a wild person , he rus around the house and gets into every thing.Is anyone going through this?? Also I would like to ask the group if anyone is going through eating issues, My son will hardly eat. he still eating some 3rd stage baby food like Cereal and Spagetti and Lasagna and some fruit sometimes he will eat Grilled cheese sandwiches but his favorite thing is Peanut butter,{toast and sand} I keep trying other things But I don't know what to do. Please write back and let me know if you know of anything I can do , Thank You!!! Heidi Van Oss __________________________________________________________ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/features_spam.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.