dealing with NT kids? (again)

[Guest guest]

> Okay, this is an actual serious question. Is it impolite to ask for a

drink

> if you're visiting someone, or is that just for kids? I do have serious

> social issues, so I honestly don't know.

>

>

It is never impolite to ask for basic human needs and drinking is one of

those. You must ask for water however, as someone else mentioned, as that

puts your host to the least trouble. A good host will offer you what is

reasonably available however.

And naturally you do get to use the toilet as well, but you do not get to

peek in the cupboards.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> Okay, this is an actual serious question. Is it impolite to ask for a

drink

> if you're visiting someone, or is that just for kids? I do have serious

> social issues, so I honestly don't know.

>

>

It is never impolite to ask for basic human needs and drinking is one of

those. You must ask for water however, as someone else mentioned, as that

puts your host to the least trouble. A good host will offer you what is

reasonably available however.

And naturally you do get to use the toilet as well, but you do not get to

peek in the cupboards.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> Okay, this is an actual serious question. Is it impolite to ask for a

drink

> if you're visiting someone, or is that just for kids? I do have serious

> social issues, so I honestly don't know.

I think it varies from household to household. I don't mind someone asking

for a drink; just don't go get it yourself unless you are an adult friend.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> Okay, this is an actual serious question. Is it impolite to ask for a

drink

> if you're visiting someone, or is that just for kids? I do have serious

> social issues, so I honestly don't know.

I think it varies from household to household. I don't mind someone asking

for a drink; just don't go get it yourself unless you are an adult friend.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> Okay, this is an actual serious question. Is it impolite to ask for a

drink

> if you're visiting someone, or is that just for kids? I do have serious

> social issues, so I honestly don't know.

I think it varies from household to household. I don't mind someone asking

for a drink; just don't go get it yourself unless you are an adult friend.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> It is never impolite to ask for basic human needs and drinking is one of

> those. You must ask for water however, as someone else mentioned, as that

> puts your host to the least trouble. A good host will offer you what is

> reasonably available however.

Yup yup. " May I please have a glass of water? " " Oh sure. Ice? Or I have

juice, milk, or soda. " " Milk would be great if that's not too much trouble.

Thank you! "

> And naturally you do get to use the toilet as well, but you do not get to

> peek in the cupboards.

You can peek in the medicine cabinet and bathroom cupboards if you have the

bathroom door closed and locked. They won't know.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

> It is never impolite to ask for basic human needs and drinking is one of

> those. You must ask for water however, as someone else mentioned, as that

> puts your host to the least trouble. A good host will offer you what is

> reasonably available however.

Yup yup. " May I please have a glass of water? " " Oh sure. Ice? Or I have

juice, milk, or soda. " " Milk would be great if that's not too much trouble.

Thank you! "

> And naturally you do get to use the toilet as well, but you do not get to

> peek in the cupboards.

You can peek in the medicine cabinet and bathroom cupboards if you have the

bathroom door closed and locked. They won't know.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

> would not eat the first few times at my house. Now at least

she'll eat. <

told ya

[Guest guest]

I agree 100% with Sara LOL.... I hope no one has a hidden camera in their

bathroom........

RE: dealing with NT kids? (again)

> It is never impolite to ask for basic human needs and drinking is one of

> those. You must ask for water however, as someone else mentioned, as that

> puts your host to the least trouble. A good host will offer you what is

> reasonably available however.

Yup yup. " May I please have a glass of water? " " Oh sure. Ice? Or I have

juice, milk, or soda. " " Milk would be great if that's not too much trouble.

Thank you! "

> And naturally you do get to use the toilet as well, but you do not get to

> peek in the cupboards.

You can peek in the medicine cabinet and bathroom cupboards if you have the

bathroom door closed and locked. They won't know.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

>>UGH! Not only is that rude and uncouth, but it's extremely dangerous --

saliva in food is a breeding ground for bacteria! GROSS!

Yeah my friend throw out the whole thing with her " friend " left. And I am sure

never accepted anything to eat at her " friend's " house lol YUCK

Re: dealing with NT kids? (again)

> wow he is a gutsy kid. I so look forward to the boys getting old enough to

have friends over NOT!! I think I would go with a short " Ben, in my house

guests do not go into my fridge. If you don't like what was offered, then

you need to go home to get your drinks "

>

I like that, karen. I think I can say that one.

> One of my friend's had company over and the company got the jar of mayo

out of the fridge and let her two yr. old lick the inside of the cover!!

yuck!!

>

UGH! Not only is that rude and uncouth, but it's extremely dangerous --

saliva in food is a breeding ground for bacteria! GROSS!

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>>>Yeah, but I'm peripheral to the situation. It's not MY life we're dealing

with here, it's 's -- and he needs to be able to know he has a friend.

I think the boost to 's self esteem and social skills is more important

than my discomfort and irritation, as much as I am miserable when Ben's

around. :-I

I agree. I know my mom put up with less than desirable friends and even

boyfriends of mine and my siblings so that we could learn to deal with people,

decide for ourselves what type of people we wanted to befriend. (with in reason,

I am sure if she felt it was unsafe she wouldn't have). I hope I can be that

good of a mom once my sons start bringing home children that I don't like having

around.

Re: dealing with NT kids? (again)

> yes, i suppose that's true, but, ummm, it doesn't seem to be working too

well for you. no offense meant, i wouldn't be able to stand it.

>

Yeah, but I'm peripheral to the situation. It's not MY life we're dealing

with here, it's 's -- and he needs to be able to know he has a friend.

I think the boost to 's self esteem and social skills is more important

than my discomfort and irritation, as much as I am miserable when Ben's

around. :-I

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

I agree with all of this. This is what my mother taught me and what I try and

teach my kids. Of course Alec will not listen.

Jacquie H

Re: dealing with NT kids? (again)

> Okay, this is an actual serious question. Is it impolite to ask for a

drink

> if you're visiting someone, or is that just for kids? I do have serious

> social issues, so I honestly don't know.

>

>

It is never impolite to ask for basic human needs and drinking is one of

those. You must ask for water however, as someone else mentioned, as that

puts your host to the least trouble. A good host will offer you what is

reasonably available however.

And naturally you do get to use the toilet as well, but you do not get to

peek in the cupboards.

Salli

[Guest guest]

I want to thank everybody for their responses to this question. Since I had

such a large family growing up, we never really socialized outside of the

family, so I'm WAY awkward. THis helps a lot. And yes, sometimes I do peek

in the medicine cabinet but always have a fear of it being booby-trapped or

something.

ellen

Re: dealing with NT kids? (again)

I agree 100% with Sara LOL.... I hope no one has a hidden camera in their

bathroom........

RE: dealing with NT kids? (again)

> It is never impolite to ask for basic human needs and drinking is one

of

> those. You must ask for water however, as someone else mentioned, as

that

> puts your host to the least trouble. A good host will offer you what

is

> reasonably available however.

Yup yup. " May I please have a glass of water? " " Oh sure. Ice? Or I

have

juice, milk, or soda. " " Milk would be great if that's not too much

trouble.

Thank you! "

> And naturally you do get to use the toilet as well, but you do not get

to

> peek in the cupboards.

You can peek in the medicine cabinet and bathroom cupboards if you have

the

bathroom door closed and locked. They won't know.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

I want to thank everybody for their responses to this question. Since I had

such a large family growing up, we never really socialized outside of the

family, so I'm WAY awkward. THis helps a lot. And yes, sometimes I do peek

in the medicine cabinet but always have a fear of it being booby-trapped or

something.

ellen

Re: dealing with NT kids? (again)

I agree 100% with Sara LOL.... I hope no one has a hidden camera in their

bathroom........

RE: dealing with NT kids? (again)

> It is never impolite to ask for basic human needs and drinking is one

of

> those. You must ask for water however, as someone else mentioned, as

that

> puts your host to the least trouble. A good host will offer you what

is

> reasonably available however.

Yup yup. " May I please have a glass of water? " " Oh sure. Ice? Or I

have

juice, milk, or soda. " " Milk would be great if that's not too much

trouble.

Thank you! "

> And naturally you do get to use the toilet as well, but you do not get

to

> peek in the cupboards.

You can peek in the medicine cabinet and bathroom cupboards if you have

the

bathroom door closed and locked. They won't know.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

I want to thank everybody for their responses to this question. Since I had

such a large family growing up, we never really socialized outside of the

family, so I'm WAY awkward. THis helps a lot. And yes, sometimes I do peek

in the medicine cabinet but always have a fear of it being booby-trapped or

something.

ellen

Re: dealing with NT kids? (again)

I agree 100% with Sara LOL.... I hope no one has a hidden camera in their

bathroom........

RE: dealing with NT kids? (again)

> It is never impolite to ask for basic human needs and drinking is one

of

> those. You must ask for water however, as someone else mentioned, as

that

> puts your host to the least trouble. A good host will offer you what

is

> reasonably available however.

Yup yup. " May I please have a glass of water? " " Oh sure. Ice? Or I

have

juice, milk, or soda. " " Milk would be great if that's not too much

trouble.

Thank you! "

> And naturally you do get to use the toilet as well, but you do not get

to

> peek in the cupboards.

You can peek in the medicine cabinet and bathroom cupboards if you have

the

bathroom door closed and locked. They won't know.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/18/03 11:56:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

weinberg@... writes:

> Is it impolite to ask for a drink if you're visiting someone, or is that

> just for kids?

I'm sorry but it's a grey area. First I was going to say no it's just for

kids. But then I was going to say yes because I had a therapist ask me to

make coffee once and it really put me off. But then I always use to offer

something to drink and no one ever took me up so I stopped doing it. So I

think the rule is: if someone comes to your house more than once a week the

rules are different for someone who comes once a week.

Huge help I was huh?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/18/03 11:56:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

weinberg@... writes:

> Is it impolite to ask for a drink if you're visiting someone, or is that

> just for kids?

I'm sorry but it's a grey area. First I was going to say no it's just for

kids. But then I was going to say yes because I had a therapist ask me to

make coffee once and it really put me off. But then I always use to offer

something to drink and no one ever took me up so I stopped doing it. So I

think the rule is: if someone comes to your house more than once a week the

rules are different for someone who comes once a week.

Huge help I was huh?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/18/03 11:56:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

weinberg@... writes:

> Is it impolite to ask for a drink if you're visiting someone, or is that

> just for kids?

I'm sorry but it's a grey area. First I was going to say no it's just for

kids. But then I was going to say yes because I had a therapist ask me to

make coffee once and it really put me off. But then I always use to offer

something to drink and no one ever took me up so I stopped doing it. So I

think the rule is: if someone comes to your house more than once a week the

rules are different for someone who comes once a week.

Huge help I was huh?

[Guest guest]

But then I was going to say yes because I had a therapist ask me to

> make coffee once and it really put me off.

I think that is a bit nervy. Especially since they don't have any idea what

kind of coffee you use. I have no instant coffee in the house, for

instance, so I'd have to go through grinding coffee beans and the whole deal

and it is a fair amount of trouble. But I do think that anyone should be

able to ask for a glass of water and then let the host decide whether to

offer anything more.

Anyway, it would have put me off too, !

Salli

[Guest guest]

,

I agree, the more I thought about it, the more I was unsure of the answer. If

someone comes to my house, I offer them a drink as a general rule. If I was at a

very close friends or family I would feel comfortable enough to ask for a drink

(however I would only ask for water ).....

I have so few quests, maybe thats the problem LOL....

Re: dealing with NT kids? (again)

In a message dated 4/18/03 11:56:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

weinberg@... writes:

> Is it impolite to ask for a drink if you're visiting someone, or is that

> just for kids?

I'm sorry but it's a grey area. First I was going to say no it's just for

kids. But then I was going to say yes because I had a therapist ask me to

make coffee once and it really put me off. But then I always use to offer

something to drink and no one ever took me up so I stopped doing it. So I

think the rule is: if someone comes to your house more than once a week the

rules are different for someone who comes once a week.

Huge help I was huh?

[Guest guest]

,

I agree, the more I thought about it, the more I was unsure of the answer. If

someone comes to my house, I offer them a drink as a general rule. If I was at a

very close friends or family I would feel comfortable enough to ask for a drink

(however I would only ask for water ).....

I have so few quests, maybe thats the problem LOL....

Re: dealing with NT kids? (again)

In a message dated 4/18/03 11:56:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

weinberg@... writes:

> Is it impolite to ask for a drink if you're visiting someone, or is that

> just for kids?

I'm sorry but it's a grey area. First I was going to say no it's just for

kids. But then I was going to say yes because I had a therapist ask me to

make coffee once and it really put me off. But then I always use to offer

something to drink and no one ever took me up so I stopped doing it. So I

think the rule is: if someone comes to your house more than once a week the

rules are different for someone who comes once a week.

Huge help I was huh?

[Guest guest]

,

I agree, the more I thought about it, the more I was unsure of the answer. If

someone comes to my house, I offer them a drink as a general rule. If I was at a

very close friends or family I would feel comfortable enough to ask for a drink

(however I would only ask for water ).....

I have so few quests, maybe thats the problem LOL....

Re: dealing with NT kids? (again)

In a message dated 4/18/03 11:56:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

weinberg@... writes:

> Is it impolite to ask for a drink if you're visiting someone, or is that

> just for kids?

I'm sorry but it's a grey area. First I was going to say no it's just for

kids. But then I was going to say yes because I had a therapist ask me to

make coffee once and it really put me off. But then I always use to offer

something to drink and no one ever took me up so I stopped doing it. So I

think the rule is: if someone comes to your house more than once a week the

rules are different for someone who comes once a week.

Huge help I was huh?

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>

Another " what do I do? " question:

When Ben asks me for a pop and then realizes it's not pepsi so turns me

down, refuses my offers of liquid sustenance, and then OPENS MY FRIDGE AND

STUDIES THE CONTENTS, turning down my offer to get him something... WHAT DO

I DO?

<<<<<<<

Close the refrigerator door and tell him " That's not how we do things in our

house " . You HAVE to be the boss...!

It took me a long time to figure out how to do this, and even now, still, it

gives me butterflies!

Penny

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>

Another " what do I do? " question:

When Ben asks me for a pop and then realizes it's not pepsi so turns me

down, refuses my offers of liquid sustenance, and then OPENS MY FRIDGE AND

STUDIES THE CONTENTS, turning down my offer to get him something... WHAT DO

I DO?

<<<<<<<

Close the refrigerator door and tell him " That's not how we do things in our

house " . You HAVE to be the boss...!

It took me a long time to figure out how to do this, and even now, still, it

gives me butterflies!

Penny

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>

Why don't I ban him? Because is learning to stand up for himself and

to let things roll off him. I think those are important things for him to

learn.

Jacquie

<<<<<<

I agree, but it must be SO hard for you...

{{{Jacquie}}}

Penny