Guest guest Posted November 2, 2000 Report Share Posted November 2, 2000 > Wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if we were all perfect all of the time. Yes, it would be a wonderful world in some respects -- but it would be awful boring, I think! > I say that " it just didn't work out " with my first because I don't feel like explaining myself to everybody and rehashing the whole story. I know I did the best I knew how at the time and if others don't understand that, then it's their problem, not mine. I don't have to explain myself to anyone. You're right, Michele. If you know that you did the best you knew how at the time, you have no reason to feel badly. I would encourage you to find another " stock " answer that is pro-breastfeeding like, " I quit breastfeeding early because I didn't have the information I have now " or " If I knew then what I know now I probably would have been able to breastfeed longer. " That sends a positive message that shows that you support breastfeeding and that sometimes it's necessary to seek out information. > I know of someone who is thinking of leaving this list, and the support it has given her, because posts like this hurt her and make her think others see her as not a good enough mother, or that she didn't try hard enough with previous children. I hope that that person *does* stick around and learns that posts like mine are not intended to hurt her or imply that she isn't a good enough mother. I think there are too many women that hold on to guilt that shouldn't be there. If you take the information you have and make a decision, you're doing your best. Granted, later when you have more information, you might think that you made the wrong choice. That's life and it happens in many other areas besides breastfeeding! Life is too darn short to get caught up in the guilt game -- if you learned something that will make your life better and you wiser in the future, then that's fantastic! IMO, it's when we don't learn from our mistakes that we have problems. If she is here and learning, it's quite obvious to me that she wants to get more information and support in order to have success at breastfeeding -- just like you & I. > Michele, who must not be " such a shining example " of motherhood because she's not perfect, nor attains to be. First, I will *never* claim to be a perfect mother. I believe there is no such animal. Second, if you're not a shining example of motherhood because you've overcome extreme nursing difficulties, I have no doubt you *are* a shining example in other areas (just breastfeeding without difficulties is one). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2000 Report Share Posted November 2, 2000 > I know that for a long time, I was defensive. When I heard the formula > feeding is inferior, I felt like people were saying that I was an inferior > mom. I have realized that I only did what I thought that I could do. I have > regrets, but not guilt. > Jenn Jenn, I think your attitude is great. It can be difficult to separate dislike for the product from disapproval/approval of your parenting skills. Can you explain what you do as a peer counselor? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2000 Report Share Posted November 2, 2000 > Almost to a one, people in my family are blaming it on my breastmilk. She'd > be a quieter baby if I fed her formula, she wouldn't demand to be held all > the time if I fed her formula, she'd sleep more if I fed her formula, she'd > grow faster if I fed her formula. Anni, this is probably all true. Is it possible that our society thinks that babies should be quiet, undemanding, long sleepers who gain weight rapidly because the past generation or so is so used to formula fed babies' behaviour? I know my kids, while breastfed, have never been any of those things. I just always assumed that's their personality! >And she never bf because the doctor told her there was no way she > could produce enough milk, so she never even tried. I get so mad when I hear this! I know at the time is was quite common, but I don't think it's unheard of today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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