Re: From my friend whose son seemed autistic...

[Guest guest]

>

> i forgot to apologize to this. i do NOT think your friend is a bitch. not

in the least. i think she had a bitchy response to your help, but, like i

said, i don't blame her for that. i hope i haven't upset you anymore than

you already were cause i honestly didn't mean to

>

, dear, you have definitely not upset me. Not even a little

teensy-weensy bit. A bitchy response, well, perhaps, but we know why and it

is okay. When someone attacks our children we do tend to attack back.

Salli

[Guest guest]

>

> i forgot to apologize to this. i do NOT think your friend is a bitch. not

in the least. i think she had a bitchy response to your help, but, like i

said, i don't blame her for that. i hope i haven't upset you anymore than

you already were cause i honestly didn't mean to

>

, dear, you have definitely not upset me. Not even a little

teensy-weensy bit. A bitchy response, well, perhaps, but we know why and it

is okay. When someone attacks our children we do tend to attack back.

Salli

[Guest guest]

>

> i forgot to apologize to this. i do NOT think your friend is a bitch. not

in the least. i think she had a bitchy response to your help, but, like i

said, i don't blame her for that. i hope i haven't upset you anymore than

you already were cause i honestly didn't mean to

>

, dear, you have definitely not upset me. Not even a little

teensy-weensy bit. A bitchy response, well, perhaps, but we know why and it

is okay. When someone attacks our children we do tend to attack back.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> ugh, i feel like i'm offending you all over the place here. if i'm not,

PLEASE tell me. but if i am, i'm TRULY sorry

>

Silly ! You never offend me. Not at all.

So quit worrying about it, okay?

Salli

[Guest guest]

> Yes, her looking into it is what matters. Is it me, or does she sound a

> touch defensive to you too?

Of course she does! Wouldn't anyone?

Salli

[Guest guest]

> His mother doesn't want to hear and won't take him to be evaluated. It's

> been a year and my friend says the kid still isn't talking. He's three

now.

> I wonder how she keeps her ped from finding out something's wrong?

>

Pediatricians are weird. They don't seem to know beans about autism.

Sigh. I hate how often this seems to happen.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> His mother doesn't want to hear and won't take him to be evaluated. It's

> been a year and my friend says the kid still isn't talking. He's three

now.

> I wonder how she keeps her ped from finding out something's wrong?

>

Pediatricians are weird. They don't seem to know beans about autism.

Sigh. I hate how often this seems to happen.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> His mother doesn't want to hear and won't take him to be evaluated. It's

> been a year and my friend says the kid still isn't talking. He's three

now.

> I wonder how she keeps her ped from finding out something's wrong?

>

Pediatricians are weird. They don't seem to know beans about autism.

Sigh. I hate how often this seems to happen.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> I would not say that I *hounded* anyone but I made 4 seperate appts in 6

> months to discuss my concerns about , starting with his 12 month

well

> baby check. Like you, I was and patted on the head (although I was NOT

> referred for therapy!) but unlike you I accepted the pats gratefully

because

> obviously there was nothing seriously wrong with my child.

How very interesting that those of us who are clearly NT are so less astute

on autism than those of us who are probably somewhere on the spectrum (for

so I do place both Sara and Jacquie).

So much for theories of empathy. Did you both just recognize something

that went missed in your own babyhood?

Salli

[Guest guest]

> I would not say that I *hounded* anyone but I made 4 seperate appts in 6

> months to discuss my concerns about , starting with his 12 month

well

> baby check. Like you, I was and patted on the head (although I was NOT

> referred for therapy!) but unlike you I accepted the pats gratefully

because

> obviously there was nothing seriously wrong with my child.

How very interesting that those of us who are clearly NT are so less astute

on autism than those of us who are probably somewhere on the spectrum (for

so I do place both Sara and Jacquie).

So much for theories of empathy. Did you both just recognize something

that went missed in your own babyhood?

Salli

[Guest guest]

> I would not say that I *hounded* anyone but I made 4 seperate appts in 6

> months to discuss my concerns about , starting with his 12 month

well

> baby check. Like you, I was and patted on the head (although I was NOT

> referred for therapy!) but unlike you I accepted the pats gratefully

because

> obviously there was nothing seriously wrong with my child.

How very interesting that those of us who are clearly NT are so less astute

on autism than those of us who are probably somewhere on the spectrum (for

so I do place both Sara and Jacquie).

So much for theories of empathy. Did you both just recognize something

that went missed in your own babyhood?

Salli

[Guest guest]

>

> you know, i think that might be a big reason why it took me so long to

accept it about kailey. whenever i would go to the ped and mention something

i was concerned about, the not eating, the not sleeping, etc, he always

passed it off as no big deal. she was healthy, so he wasn't concerned...

>

Well, Putter is healthy as a horse.

Let's skip shooting all the lawyers and just shoot all the peds, shall we?

Salli

[Guest guest]

>

> you know, i think that might be a big reason why it took me so long to

accept it about kailey. whenever i would go to the ped and mention something

i was concerned about, the not eating, the not sleeping, etc, he always

passed it off as no big deal. she was healthy, so he wasn't concerned...

>

Well, Putter is healthy as a horse.

Let's skip shooting all the lawyers and just shoot all the peds, shall we?

Salli

[Guest guest]

>

> you know, i think that might be a big reason why it took me so long to

accept it about kailey. whenever i would go to the ped and mention something

i was concerned about, the not eating, the not sleeping, etc, he always

passed it off as no big deal. she was healthy, so he wasn't concerned...

>

Well, Putter is healthy as a horse.

Let's skip shooting all the lawyers and just shoot all the peds, shall we?

Salli

[Guest guest]

> > Let's skip shooting all the lawyers and just shoot all the peds, shall

we?

>

> Let's shoot them all and be peds ourselves.

>

Ha, ha, bloodthirsty Sara!

But why not? The fiends. They stop us from finding out the truth when it

is better to know sooner than later.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> > Let's skip shooting all the lawyers and just shoot all the peds, shall

we?

>

> Let's shoot them all and be peds ourselves.

>

Ha, ha, bloodthirsty Sara!

But why not? The fiends. They stop us from finding out the truth when it

is better to know sooner than later.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> > Let's skip shooting all the lawyers and just shoot all the peds, shall

we?

>

> Let's shoot them all and be peds ourselves.

>

Ha, ha, bloodthirsty Sara!

But why not? The fiends. They stop us from finding out the truth when it

is better to know sooner than later.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> They kept saying, " If she was autistic, you'd know it. "

>

> Well DUH!

I was so stupid. I was in such denial.

After it all came about -- the evals, etc. I realized the questions my ped

had been asking for months were all about autism. I was too dense to know.

So when I finally brought it up, he was very quick to agree with me.

I was the one who kept saying " he'll grow out of it " and " No really, he does

say words. He says words to me " " yes, he makes eye contact " and so on --

only he was actually growing " into " it and the few words he'd had, had

disappeared and he no longer made eye contact.

For a while I thought I had imagined the words and the eye contact, etc,.

but I have it all on videotape.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

> They kept saying, " If she was autistic, you'd know it. "

>

> Well DUH!

I was so stupid. I was in such denial.

After it all came about -- the evals, etc. I realized the questions my ped

had been asking for months were all about autism. I was too dense to know.

So when I finally brought it up, he was very quick to agree with me.

I was the one who kept saying " he'll grow out of it " and " No really, he does

say words. He says words to me " " yes, he makes eye contact " and so on --

only he was actually growing " into " it and the few words he'd had, had

disappeared and he no longer made eye contact.

For a while I thought I had imagined the words and the eye contact, etc,.

but I have it all on videotape.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

> They kept saying, " If she was autistic, you'd know it. "

>

> Well DUH!

I was so stupid. I was in such denial.

After it all came about -- the evals, etc. I realized the questions my ped

had been asking for months were all about autism. I was too dense to know.

So when I finally brought it up, he was very quick to agree with me.

I was the one who kept saying " he'll grow out of it " and " No really, he does

say words. He says words to me " " yes, he makes eye contact " and so on --

only he was actually growing " into " it and the few words he'd had, had

disappeared and he no longer made eye contact.

For a while I thought I had imagined the words and the eye contact, etc,.

but I have it all on videotape.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

> You tried to reach out and she's not ready for it. In time I promise you

> that she will look back and wish she had not been so snotty about it.

> Remember though she she is uneducated in autism that she is thinking the

> worst.

Yes. I am sure she is. Actually I suspect that what happened is that she

went home to her husband and he totally blew me off. She was happy to learn

that he thought I was so wrong, and then felt angry at me for frightening

her.

>

> I had the same thing happen with a mother I met at a playgroup. He wasn't

> autistic but was not talking. I called a couple times and gave her a few

> websites aprasia etc to look into. She never called me back so I let it

go.

> I'll reach out twice at most I don't have energy for more than that.

>

No, indeed, you work very hard, , for .

Salli

[Guest guest]

> You tried to reach out and she's not ready for it. In time I promise you

> that she will look back and wish she had not been so snotty about it.

> Remember though she she is uneducated in autism that she is thinking the

> worst.

Yes. I am sure she is. Actually I suspect that what happened is that she

went home to her husband and he totally blew me off. She was happy to learn

that he thought I was so wrong, and then felt angry at me for frightening

her.

>

> I had the same thing happen with a mother I met at a playgroup. He wasn't

> autistic but was not talking. I called a couple times and gave her a few

> websites aprasia etc to look into. She never called me back so I let it

go.

> I'll reach out twice at most I don't have energy for more than that.

>

No, indeed, you work very hard, , for .

Salli

[Guest guest]

> You know, I was just thinking that you could send her a response just

asking her to let you know what she finds out.

>

I considered that but then I feared it would sound too much like I was

sitting there waiting for me to be proved right and her to be proved wrong.

Don't like that feeling at all; I would love to be wrong.

I suspect that I will not hear from her again at all unless he does receive

an autism dx. And now I am wondering if she has found the right people to

take him to. A number of weeks ago, before I thought anything about autism

with him at all, I suggested she take him to the early intervention people

at Putter's old school. They know their stuff and they are free, I told her

(can't beat that!) so I hope that is where she is going.

If she gets his hearing evaluated first, which is what I had to do, then it

will be even longer and I do not think she will even hear the word autism.

I did not, just a murmur under the breath when I told the hearing evaluator

that Putter's doctor had said he was not autistic, just a whisper of, " Well,

it does look very like... "

And Putter's psychologist did not run any tests on him, merely telling me

that she knew what others would call it, and I did not dare to ask her to

tell me exactly what others would call it. She knew all about Putter though

and kept pointing out what I thought were unique Putter behaviors and

mentioning that they were typical behaviors among the kids that she saw

(nearly all of whom have autism or Asperger's).

Salli

[Guest guest]

> You know, I was just thinking that you could send her a response just

asking her to let you know what she finds out.

>

I considered that but then I feared it would sound too much like I was

sitting there waiting for me to be proved right and her to be proved wrong.

Don't like that feeling at all; I would love to be wrong.

I suspect that I will not hear from her again at all unless he does receive

an autism dx. And now I am wondering if she has found the right people to

take him to. A number of weeks ago, before I thought anything about autism

with him at all, I suggested she take him to the early intervention people

at Putter's old school. They know their stuff and they are free, I told her

(can't beat that!) so I hope that is where she is going.

If she gets his hearing evaluated first, which is what I had to do, then it

will be even longer and I do not think she will even hear the word autism.

I did not, just a murmur under the breath when I told the hearing evaluator

that Putter's doctor had said he was not autistic, just a whisper of, " Well,

it does look very like... "

And Putter's psychologist did not run any tests on him, merely telling me

that she knew what others would call it, and I did not dare to ask her to

tell me exactly what others would call it. She knew all about Putter though

and kept pointing out what I thought were unique Putter behaviors and

mentioning that they were typical behaviors among the kids that she saw

(nearly all of whom have autism or Asperger's).

Salli

[Guest guest]

Yes, her looking into it is what matters. Is it me, or does she sound a

touch defensive to you too?

Sue