Re: Meaghan*I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

-No Amy thank you for caring enough to ask. Zachary is 12, as of

last week and Alyssa is 6. We're hoping to have him home by the end

of summer, but only time will really tell. Is your friend OK?????

Meaghan-- In weightlossbuddies2 , " Amy "

<weyekin1@y...> wrote:

> Meaghan,

> I never saw that the first time you posted it. (did you post it

> while i was MIA?) that's so hard to deal with, i'm so sorry. I

> had a friend who went through that also, but her situation was a

LOT

> worse than what happened with your children. When is he coming

> home? how old are your kids?

> Amy

> ps-you dont have to answer any questions your not comfortable

with

>

>

>

> > > In a message dated 5/25/2003 11:53:29 AM Central Daylight Time,

> > > meaghandionne@y... writes:

> > >

> > > > We have to be careful for Alyssa's sake. She has to KNOW

> things

> > are

> > > > safe with him. Meaghan

> > >

> > > Ooooooh wowser...if Im not being too personal..what happened

> that

> > your

> > > daughter is afraid of him? Please please dont hesitate to say

if

> > its not something

> > > you want to discuss here..I am just being all nosey parker is

> all!!

> > >

> > > HUGS!

> > > Shan

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

-Shan, Thank you thank you thank you....now you made me cry though.

I know exactly what you're talking about. See it's always been a

fear of mine because I was raped. (By Zachary's sperm donor

infact.) See, everything happens for a reason...if I hadn't of been

asked to work the night shift, I wouldn't of been walking out alone

at night, I wouldn't of had to live through that, but then I also

wouldn't have my son. When I found out I was preggo it made

everything all right. But because of how he was conceived I've

always feared that maybe some of that mans traits were passed to

him. (The police and the counselors swear that isn't the case here

though....pray they're right.) Then I had to do a 6 month clinical

at Fulton Prison and guess what I had to lead...none other then the

sexual pediophile program. There's nothing scarier...and I guess

that's where I know I failed my baby. We've talked about things like

her body and that nobody has a right to touch her but I never went in

to great detail because I thought she was safe. She's always with

me. I even homeschool her. Guess I screwed up in the worst possible

way. Thanks so much for caring, I know exactely what kind of info

your reading. Meaghan-- In weightlossbuddies2 ,

girlnamedshannon@a... wrote:

> In a message dated 5/26/2003 9:54:38 AM Central Daylight Time,

> meaghandionne@y... writes:

>

> > He really is a wonderful kid though, and we'll all pull through

this too.

> > He won't ever sleep on the same floor as her again though. We

are currently

> > turning the dining room into a bedroom for him. I never had

gotten my fancy

> > table anyway, it was always just a play room. Meaghan---

>

> Oooooo wowser M...I am so sorry for your daughter and actually for

your son

> as well. I am CERTAIN the initial post about this got ate by

Yahoo b/c nobody

> here is ''disgusted'' with you or your family hon. I am really glad

I asked

> now b/c you should not have been made to feel that way

intentionally or not!!

>

> I am currently reading the first of many required books in my

clinical social

> work curriculum and the name of it is ''Predators: Pedophiles,

Rapists, and

> Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We Can

Protect

> Ourselves and Our Children'' by Salter. Its a veryyyyyy creepy

and

> veryyyyyy troubling book but also something I feel should be

required reading for

> anyone with children. Gruesome? Frightening? Stuff nightmares are

made of?

> YES..but also ALOT of good information.

>

> Sorry I didnt mean to digress but honestly I think you and your

family are

> handling the situation great and given your sons age I agree that

at worst it

> was probably childish experimentation. Not that it makes it any

easier for your

> babygirl but sometimes things happen and all you can do is the best

you can do

> and I think you are all doing exactly that. KUDOS to you for

handling it so

> well and so swiftly and I will definately be keeping you and your

babies in my

> thoughts hon.

>

> HUGS!!!

> Shan

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

-Shan, Thank you thank you thank you....now you made me cry though.

I know exactly what you're talking about. See it's always been a

fear of mine because I was raped. (By Zachary's sperm donor

infact.) See, everything happens for a reason...if I hadn't of been

asked to work the night shift, I wouldn't of been walking out alone

at night, I wouldn't of had to live through that, but then I also

wouldn't have my son. When I found out I was preggo it made

everything all right. But because of how he was conceived I've

always feared that maybe some of that mans traits were passed to

him. (The police and the counselors swear that isn't the case here

though....pray they're right.) Then I had to do a 6 month clinical

at Fulton Prison and guess what I had to lead...none other then the

sexual pediophile program. There's nothing scarier...and I guess

that's where I know I failed my baby. We've talked about things like

her body and that nobody has a right to touch her but I never went in

to great detail because I thought she was safe. She's always with

me. I even homeschool her. Guess I screwed up in the worst possible

way. Thanks so much for caring, I know exactely what kind of info

your reading. Meaghan-- In weightlossbuddies2 ,

girlnamedshannon@a... wrote:

> In a message dated 5/26/2003 9:54:38 AM Central Daylight Time,

> meaghandionne@y... writes:

>

> > He really is a wonderful kid though, and we'll all pull through

this too.

> > He won't ever sleep on the same floor as her again though. We

are currently

> > turning the dining room into a bedroom for him. I never had

gotten my fancy

> > table anyway, it was always just a play room. Meaghan---

>

> Oooooo wowser M...I am so sorry for your daughter and actually for

your son

> as well. I am CERTAIN the initial post about this got ate by

Yahoo b/c nobody

> here is ''disgusted'' with you or your family hon. I am really glad

I asked

> now b/c you should not have been made to feel that way

intentionally or not!!

>

> I am currently reading the first of many required books in my

clinical social

> work curriculum and the name of it is ''Predators: Pedophiles,

Rapists, and

> Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We Can

Protect

> Ourselves and Our Children'' by Salter. Its a veryyyyyy creepy

and

> veryyyyyy troubling book but also something I feel should be

required reading for

> anyone with children. Gruesome? Frightening? Stuff nightmares are

made of?

> YES..but also ALOT of good information.

>

> Sorry I didnt mean to digress but honestly I think you and your

family are

> handling the situation great and given your sons age I agree that

at worst it

> was probably childish experimentation. Not that it makes it any

easier for your

> babygirl but sometimes things happen and all you can do is the best

you can do

> and I think you are all doing exactly that. KUDOS to you for

handling it so

> well and so swiftly and I will definately be keeping you and your

babies in my

> thoughts hon.

>

> HUGS!!!

> Shan

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks , But strong is the farthest thing from what I am. I

lost 15 pounds because all I could do is vomit for two weeks

straight. I still cry myself to sleep just about every night, I

think my bleeding ulcers are coming back and I'm literally falling

apart. I will give myself credit for being strong infront of them

though. Although, everytime Zachary leaves I can't move my neck

because I'm so tense the whole time he's here with her. Real great

mom-eh????? Meaghan

> > > In a message dated 5/25/2003 11:53:29 AM Central Daylight Time,

> > > meaghandionne@y... writes:

> > >

> > > > We have to be careful for Alyssa's sake. She has to KNOW

things

> > are

> > > > safe with him. Meaghan

> > >

> > > Ooooooh wowser...if Im not being too personal..what happened

that

> > your

> > > daughter is afraid of him? Please please dont hesitate to say

if

> > its not something

> > > you want to discuss here..I am just being all nosey parker is

> all!!

> > >

> > > HUGS!

> > > Shan

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

--Thanks Sue, I wish the people I felt were my friends here were as

wonderful as you guys. Meaghan- In

weightlossbuddies2 , " Sue " <crystalheart52@y...> wrote:

> Meaghan

> Sorry but I don't remember seeing

> you post about it before. I know

> kids experiment but I can see how

> this would upset your DD. It must

> have been a harrowing experience for

> your whole family. I'm sure with

> time and patience you will all come

> to terms with it and once again

> become a happy united family.

> BTW I didn't find myself feeling

> disgusted with it/you. Just sorry

> that you have had to through all

> this.

> ((((((HUGS))))))

> Sue H.

>

> > > In a message dated 5/25/2003

> 11:53:29 AM Central Daylight Time,

> > > meaghandionne@y... writes:

> > >

> > > > We have to be careful for

> Alyssa's sake. She has to KNOW

> things

> > are

> > > > safe with him. Meaghan

> > >

> > > Ooooooh wowser...if Im not being

> too personal..what happened that

> > your

> > > daughter is afraid of him?

> Please please dont hesitate to say

> if

> > its not something

> > > you want to discuss here..I am

> just being all nosey parker is all!!

> > >

> > > HUGS!

> > > Shan

> > >

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this

> message have been removed]

[Guest guest]

We even got kicked out of our

> homeschool group, because my supposed best friend felt the need to

> share. They said they felt Alyssa was now a threat to their

children

> because she had been violated, or some bullshit to that nature.

Meaghan,

Now that is some crap! People never fail to amaze me! I guess for

some people, its easier to be narrow-minded and preachy, instead of

caring and helpful!!!! UGH! You'll get nothing but support from

me, my dear! As if there was not enough emotion coming from you

about the whole thing, you need that too?!?!?!!? I guess ignorant

comes in all forms, huh?

Sharon

[Guest guest]

Meaghan, I am so sorry that you had to go through this and it is not a

reflection of your parenting. Shame on your homeschooling group for being so

reactionary and not being better informed. I hope you are together soon and

that you are able to put it behind you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jx.

Re: Meaghan*I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

-Shan, Thank you thank you thank you....now you made me cry though.

I know exactly what you're talking about. See it's always been a

fear of mine because I was raped. (By Zachary's sperm donor

infact.) See, everything happens for a reason...if I hadn't of been

asked to work the night shift, I wouldn't of been walking out alone

at night, I wouldn't of had to live through that, but then I also

wouldn't have my son. When I found out I was preggo it made

everything all right. But because of how he was conceived I've

always feared that maybe some of that mans traits were passed to

him. (The police and the counselors swear that isn't the case here

though....pray they're right.) Then I had to do a 6 month clinical

at Fulton Prison and guess what I had to lead...none other then the

sexual pediophile program. There's nothing scarier...and I guess

that's where I know I failed my baby. We've talked about things like

her body and that nobody has a right to touch her but I never went in

to great detail because I thought she was safe. She's always with

me. I even homeschool her. Guess I screwed up in the worst possible

way. Thanks so much for caring, I know exactely what kind of info

your reading. Meaghan-- In weightlossbuddies2 ,

girlnamedshannon@a... wrote:

> In a message dated 5/26/2003 9:54:38 AM Central Daylight Time,

> meaghandionne@y... writes:

>

> > He really is a wonderful kid though, and we'll all pull through

this too.

> > He won't ever sleep on the same floor as her again though. We

are currently

> > turning the dining room into a bedroom for him. I never had

gotten my fancy

> > table anyway, it was always just a play room. Meaghan---

>

> Oooooo wowser M...I am so sorry for your daughter and actually for

your son

> as well. I am CERTAIN the initial post about this got ate by

Yahoo b/c nobody

> here is ''disgusted'' with you or your family hon. I am really glad

I asked

> now b/c you should not have been made to feel that way

intentionally or not!!

>

> I am currently reading the first of many required books in my

clinical social

> work curriculum and the name of it is ''Predators: Pedophiles,

Rapists, and

> Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We Can

Protect

> Ourselves and Our Children'' by Salter. Its a veryyyyyy creepy

and

> veryyyyyy troubling book but also something I feel should be

required reading for

> anyone with children. Gruesome? Frightening? Stuff nightmares are

made of?

> YES..but also ALOT of good information.

>

> Sorry I didnt mean to digress but honestly I think you and your

family are

> handling the situation great and given your sons age I agree that

at worst it

> was probably childish experimentation. Not that it makes it any

easier for your

> babygirl but sometimes things happen and all you can do is the best

you can do

> and I think you are all doing exactly that. KUDOS to you for

handling it so

> well and so swiftly and I will definately be keeping you and your

babies in my

> thoughts hon.

>

> HUGS!!!

> Shan

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

--Sharon, And you know what the worst part was???? I couldn't even

confront her on what she had done because she was due to have her

baby in 2 weeks. And trust me there was alot I wanted to say-lol.

You can mess with me all you want, but once you hurt my babies

there's no holding back. I'm taking the high road on this now though

and just choose never to speak to her again, because I don't think I

would like to say the things I would say to her to anybody. I just

hope I never run into her again, because then it just may pop out of

my mouth before I realize what I'm doing. One of the other moms was

so disgusted with the group for their actions that she left the group

too and we've since started another group where all the moms are a

little more down to earth and not so judgemental. I even told them

because I didn't want Alyssa slipping and saying something and then

loosing her new friends...they were extremely understanding and don't

feel she's a threat at all. Thank you so much for your support.

Meaghan- In weightlossbuddies2 , " tinkcrzy1972 "

<smbalik@s...> wrote:

> We even got kicked out of our

> > homeschool group, because my supposed best friend felt the need

to

> > share. They said they felt Alyssa was now a threat to their

> children

> > because she had been violated, or some bullshit to that nature.

>

> Meaghan,

>

> Now that is some crap! People never fail to amaze me! I guess for

> some people, its easier to be narrow-minded and preachy, instead of

> caring and helpful!!!! UGH! You'll get nothing but support from

> me, my dear! As if there was not enough emotion coming from you

> about the whole thing, you need that too?!?!?!!? I guess ignorant

> comes in all forms, huh?

>

> Sharon

[Guest guest]

-Thanks so much Jinx, I can't believe how awesome you all are....how

about everybody packing up and moving to Ofallon. We can all deal

with the weight issues and life together, face to face. You guys are

the best!!!!!!! Meaghan-- In

weightlossbuddies2 , " Jinx A. " <jinxjohn@a...>

wrote:

> Meaghan, I am so sorry that you had to go through this and it is

not a reflection of your parenting. Shame on your homeschooling

group for being so reactionary and not being better informed. I hope

you are together soon and that you are able to put it behind you. My

thoughts and prayers are with you. Jx.

> Re: Meaghan*I'm sooooooooo

mad!!!!!!!!!!

>

>

> -Shan, Thank you thank you thank you....now you made me cry

though.

> I know exactly what you're talking about. See it's always been a

> fear of mine because I was raped. (By Zachary's sperm donor

> infact.) See, everything happens for a reason...if I hadn't of

been

> asked to work the night shift, I wouldn't of been walking out

alone

> at night, I wouldn't of had to live through that, but then I also

> wouldn't have my son. When I found out I was preggo it made

> everything all right. But because of how he was conceived I've

> always feared that maybe some of that mans traits were passed to

> him. (The police and the counselors swear that isn't the case

here

> though....pray they're right.) Then I had to do a 6 month

clinical

> at Fulton Prison and guess what I had to lead...none other then

the

> sexual pediophile program. There's nothing scarier...and I guess

> that's where I know I failed my baby. We've talked about things

like

> her body and that nobody has a right to touch her but I never

went in

> to great detail because I thought she was safe. She's always

with

> me. I even homeschool her. Guess I screwed up in the worst

possible

> way. Thanks so much for caring, I know exactely what kind of

info

> your reading. Meaghan-- In weightlossbuddies2 ,

> girlnamedshannon@a... wrote:

> > In a message dated 5/26/2003 9:54:38 AM Central Daylight Time,

> > meaghandionne@y... writes:

> >

> > > He really is a wonderful kid though, and we'll all pull

through

> this too.

> > > He won't ever sleep on the same floor as her again though.

We

> are currently

> > > turning the dining room into a bedroom for him. I never had

> gotten my fancy

> > > table anyway, it was always just a play room. Meaghan---

> >

> > Oooooo wowser M...I am so sorry for your daughter and actually

for

> your son

> > as well. I am CERTAIN the initial post about this got ate by

> Yahoo b/c nobody

> > here is ''disgusted'' with you or your family hon. I am really

glad

> I asked

> > now b/c you should not have been made to feel that way

> intentionally or not!!

> >

> > I am currently reading the first of many required books in my

> clinical social

> > work curriculum and the name of it is ''Predators: Pedophiles,

> Rapists, and

> > Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We

Can

> Protect

> > Ourselves and Our Children'' by Salter. Its a veryyyyyy

creepy

> and

> > veryyyyyy troubling book but also something I feel should be

> required reading for

> > anyone with children. Gruesome? Frightening? Stuff nightmares

are

> made of?

> > YES..but also ALOT of good information.

> >

> > Sorry I didnt mean to digress but honestly I think you and your

> family are

> > handling the situation great and given your sons age I agree

that

> at worst it

> > was probably childish experimentation. Not that it makes it any

> easier for your

> > babygirl but sometimes things happen and all you can do is the

best

> you can do

> > and I think you are all doing exactly that. KUDOS to you for

> handling it so

> > well and so swiftly and I will definately be keeping you and

your

> babies in my

> > thoughts hon.

> >

> > HUGS!!!

> > Shan

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

> Thanks , But strong is the farthest thing from what I am. I

> lost 15 pounds because all I could do is vomit for two weeks

> straight. I still cry myself to sleep just about every night, I

> think my bleeding ulcers are coming back and I'm literally falling

> apart. I will give myself credit for being strong infront of them

> though. Although, everytime Zachary leaves I can't move my neck

> because I'm so tense the whole time he's here with her. Real great

> mom-eh????? Meaghan--- In

Please don't feel guilty for your feelings! It took me alot to get

over that part too. I felt so bad because I was in this " protection "

mode. My oldest never hurt or touched my youngest but purposely

agrivated him into a unbelievable state 24/7. I mean broken windows

everyday - many days more than 1...I won't even try to tell you about

a typical day - no way would anyone believe it anyway.

But it got to where I didn't even like him. I mean I think my face

actualy showed my digust when he approached. Talk abut guilty

feelings!

Ang

[Guest guest]

> Thanks , But strong is the farthest thing from what I am. I

> lost 15 pounds because all I could do is vomit for two weeks

> straight. I still cry myself to sleep just about every night, I

> think my bleeding ulcers are coming back and I'm literally falling

> apart. I will give myself credit for being strong infront of them

> though. Although, everytime Zachary leaves I can't move my neck

> because I'm so tense the whole time he's here with her. Real great

> mom-eh????? Meaghan--- In

Please don't feel guilty for your feelings! It took me alot to get

over that part too. I felt so bad because I was in this " protection "

mode. My oldest never hurt or touched my youngest but purposely

agrivated him into a unbelievable state 24/7. I mean broken windows

everyday - many days more than 1...I won't even try to tell you about

a typical day - no way would anyone believe it anyway.

But it got to where I didn't even like him. I mean I think my face

actualy showed my digust when he approached. Talk abut guilty

feelings!

Ang

[Guest guest]

-Oh I can imagine a typical day. We've had quite a few here too.

Zachary likes to be the center of attention regardless of what else

is going on. He would act out anyway he possibly could to get

attention. The windows made me laugh because he actually hung out of

his and ripped the shingles of our roof....we have a mansored roof so

he could easily get to them. The only times he really acted horrid

(well, completely horrid) was in the few months following the births

of my other children. Even after that though it felt like every

night there was a battle about something. I want him home so bad and

will do whatever it takes to get him here, but at the same time I

pray things are different, I dread going back to the battles, it's

been so calm around here lately. And now we'll have the added stress

of protection. The other day he was here and we were all playing

outside when said he had to pee. Zachary took his hand and

said " come on I'll take you " , I got this horrible feeling in the pit

of my stomach....true fear and yelled (seriously screamed

out " NO!!!!!!! " Then I realized what I had done and had to regain my

composure and said, honey I would prefer to do that myself. Poor kid

was so embarrassed and said he feels like I'll never trust him

again. Sad thing is, I probably won't!!!!! I know I shouldn't feel

as scared as I do, atleast not accoprding to the counselors, but I

can't help it. He will never be alone with Alyssa or again.

It makes me sick the disgust feelings I get when he's with them, but

I can't help him. I will always love him, but I will never forgive

him completely for what he did to my baby. Meaghan-- In

weightlossbuddies2 , " " <amvdhrjr@n...> wrote:

>

> > Thanks , But strong is the farthest thing from what I am.

I

> > lost 15 pounds because all I could do is vomit for two weeks

> > straight. I still cry myself to sleep just about every night, I

> > think my bleeding ulcers are coming back and I'm literally

falling

> > apart. I will give myself credit for being strong infront of

them

> > though. Although, everytime Zachary leaves I can't move my neck

> > because I'm so tense the whole time he's here with her. Real

great

> > mom-eh????? Meaghan--- In

>

> Please don't feel guilty for your feelings! It took me alot to get

> over that part too. I felt so bad because I was in

this " protection "

> mode. My oldest never hurt or touched my youngest but purposely

> agrivated him into a unbelievable state 24/7. I mean broken

windows

> everyday - many days more than 1...I won't even try to tell you

about

> a typical day - no way would anyone believe it anyway.

> But it got to where I didn't even like him. I mean I think my face

> actualy showed my digust when he approached. Talk abut guilty

> feelings!

> Ang

[Guest guest]

-Oh I can imagine a typical day. We've had quite a few here too.

Zachary likes to be the center of attention regardless of what else

is going on. He would act out anyway he possibly could to get

attention. The windows made me laugh because he actually hung out of

his and ripped the shingles of our roof....we have a mansored roof so

he could easily get to them. The only times he really acted horrid

(well, completely horrid) was in the few months following the births

of my other children. Even after that though it felt like every

night there was a battle about something. I want him home so bad and

will do whatever it takes to get him here, but at the same time I

pray things are different, I dread going back to the battles, it's

been so calm around here lately. And now we'll have the added stress

of protection. The other day he was here and we were all playing

outside when said he had to pee. Zachary took his hand and

said " come on I'll take you " , I got this horrible feeling in the pit

of my stomach....true fear and yelled (seriously screamed

out " NO!!!!!!! " Then I realized what I had done and had to regain my

composure and said, honey I would prefer to do that myself. Poor kid

was so embarrassed and said he feels like I'll never trust him

again. Sad thing is, I probably won't!!!!! I know I shouldn't feel

as scared as I do, atleast not accoprding to the counselors, but I

can't help it. He will never be alone with Alyssa or again.

It makes me sick the disgust feelings I get when he's with them, but

I can't help him. I will always love him, but I will never forgive

him completely for what he did to my baby. Meaghan-- In

weightlossbuddies2 , " " <amvdhrjr@n...> wrote:

>

> > Thanks , But strong is the farthest thing from what I am.

I

> > lost 15 pounds because all I could do is vomit for two weeks

> > straight. I still cry myself to sleep just about every night, I

> > think my bleeding ulcers are coming back and I'm literally

falling

> > apart. I will give myself credit for being strong infront of

them

> > though. Although, everytime Zachary leaves I can't move my neck

> > because I'm so tense the whole time he's here with her. Real

great

> > mom-eh????? Meaghan--- In

>

> Please don't feel guilty for your feelings! It took me alot to get

> over that part too. I felt so bad because I was in

this " protection "

> mode. My oldest never hurt or touched my youngest but purposely

> agrivated him into a unbelievable state 24/7. I mean broken

windows

> everyday - many days more than 1...I won't even try to tell you

about

> a typical day - no way would anyone believe it anyway.

> But it got to where I didn't even like him. I mean I think my face

> actualy showed my digust when he approached. Talk abut guilty

> feelings!

> Ang

[Guest guest]

Meaghan,

I don't think you screwed up or failed your daughter at all!! Let me tell you

that my mother DRILLED it into my head about it being my body, nobody could ever

touch me, and all that stuff since the day I was born... almost fanatically she

really made sure I knew... and I still was molested by my cousin for 2 years.

In my opinion it is different when it is a close family member versus a stranger

because a child trusts a family member and not a stranger. Of course your

daughter trusted her big brother, and I do not believe for one minute that you

could have ever taught her not to. Please don't beat yourself up over this

being your fault or that you have in some way failed as a mother, because you

haven't! You sound like a fantastic mom. Of course, I know it is easy to say

don't blame yourself and a lot harder to let go of the guilt youre carrying

around, but you have to do it for YOU!

Nicci

Re: Meaghan*I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

-Shan, Thank you thank you thank you....now you made me cry though.

I know exactly what you're talking about. See it's always been a

fear of mine because I was raped. (By Zachary's sperm donor

infact.) See, everything happens for a reason...if I hadn't of been

asked to work the night shift, I wouldn't of been walking out alone

at night, I wouldn't of had to live through that, but then I also

wouldn't have my son. When I found out I was preggo it made

everything all right. But because of how he was conceived I've

always feared that maybe some of that mans traits were passed to

him. (The police and the counselors swear that isn't the case here

though....pray they're right.) Then I had to do a 6 month clinical

at Fulton Prison and guess what I had to lead...none other then the

sexual pediophile program. There's nothing scarier...and I guess

that's where I know I failed my baby. We've talked about things like

her body and that nobody has a right to touch her but I never went in

to great detail because I thought she was safe. She's always with

me. I even homeschool her. Guess I screwed up in the worst possible

way. Thanks so much for caring, I know exactely what kind of info

your reading. Meaghan-- In weightlossbuddies2 ,

girlnamedshannon@a... wrote:

> In a message dated 5/26/2003 9:54:38 AM Central Daylight Time,

> meaghandionne@y... writes:

>

> > He really is a wonderful kid though, and we'll all pull through

this too.

> > He won't ever sleep on the same floor as her again though. We

are currently

> > turning the dining room into a bedroom for him. I never had

gotten my fancy

> > table anyway, it was always just a play room. Meaghan---

>

> Oooooo wowser M...I am so sorry for your daughter and actually for

your son

> as well. I am CERTAIN the initial post about this got ate by

Yahoo b/c nobody

> here is ''disgusted'' with you or your family hon. I am really glad

I asked

> now b/c you should not have been made to feel that way

intentionally or not!!

>

> I am currently reading the first of many required books in my

clinical social

> work curriculum and the name of it is ''Predators: Pedophiles,

Rapists, and

> Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We Can

Protect

> Ourselves and Our Children'' by Salter. Its a veryyyyyy creepy

and

> veryyyyyy troubling book but also something I feel should be

required reading for

> anyone with children. Gruesome? Frightening? Stuff nightmares are

made of?

> YES..but also ALOT of good information.

>

> Sorry I didnt mean to digress but honestly I think you and your

family are

> handling the situation great and given your sons age I agree that

at worst it

> was probably childish experimentation. Not that it makes it any

easier for your

> babygirl but sometimes things happen and all you can do is the best

you can do

> and I think you are all doing exactly that. KUDOS to you for

handling it so

> well and so swiftly and I will definately be keeping you and your

babies in my

> thoughts hon.

>

> HUGS!!!

> Shan

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Meaghan,

You are so close to me! I'm down between Fenton and Arnold. I'd bet

we could meet in the middle and drive less than 20 minutes :-)

Ang

> -Thanks so much Jinx, I can't believe how awesome you all

are....how

> about everybody packing up and moving to Ofallon. We can all deal

> with the weight issues and life together, face to face. You guys

are

> the best!!!!!!! Meaghan-- In

> weightlossbuddies2 , " Jinx A. "

<jinxjohn@a...>

> wrote:

> > Meaghan, I am so sorry that you had to go through this and it is

> not a reflection of your parenting. Shame on your homeschooling

> group for being so reactionary and not being better informed. I

hope

> you are together soon and that you are able to put it behind you.

My

> thoughts and prayers are with you. Jx.

> > Re: Meaghan*I'm sooooooooo

> mad!!!!!!!!!!

> >

> >

> > -Shan, Thank you thank you thank you....now you made me cry

> though.

> > I know exactly what you're talking about. See it's always been

a

> > fear of mine because I was raped. (By Zachary's sperm donor

> > infact.) See, everything happens for a reason...if I hadn't of

> been

> > asked to work the night shift, I wouldn't of been walking out

> alone

> > at night, I wouldn't of had to live through that, but then I

also

> > wouldn't have my son. When I found out I was preggo it made

> > everything all right. But because of how he was conceived I've

> > always feared that maybe some of that mans traits were passed

to

> > him. (The police and the counselors swear that isn't the case

> here

> > though....pray they're right.) Then I had to do a 6 month

> clinical

> > at Fulton Prison and guess what I had to lead...none other then

> the

> > sexual pediophile program. There's nothing scarier...and I

guess

> > that's where I know I failed my baby. We've talked about

things

> like

> > her body and that nobody has a right to touch her but I never

> went in

> > to great detail because I thought she was safe. She's always

> with

> > me. I even homeschool her. Guess I screwed up in the worst

> possible

> > way. Thanks so much for caring, I know exactely what kind of

> info

> > your reading. Meaghan-- In weightlossbuddies2 ,

> > girlnamedshannon@a... wrote:

> > > In a message dated 5/26/2003 9:54:38 AM Central Daylight

Time,

> > > meaghandionne@y... writes:

> > >

> > > > He really is a wonderful kid though, and we'll all pull

> through

> > this too.

> > > > He won't ever sleep on the same floor as her again though.

> We

> > are currently

> > > > turning the dining room into a bedroom for him. I never

had

> > gotten my fancy

> > > > table anyway, it was always just a play room. Meaghan---

> > >

> > > Oooooo wowser M...I am so sorry for your daughter and

actually

> for

> > your son

> > > as well. I am CERTAIN the initial post about this got ate

by

> > Yahoo b/c nobody

> > > here is ''disgusted'' with you or your family hon. I am

really

> glad

> > I asked

> > > now b/c you should not have been made to feel that way

> > intentionally or not!!

> > >

> > > I am currently reading the first of many required books in my

> > clinical social

> > > work curriculum and the name of it is ''Predators:

Pedophiles,

> > Rapists, and

> > > Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How

We

> Can

> > Protect

> > > Ourselves and Our Children'' by Salter. Its a veryyyyyy

> creepy

> > and

> > > veryyyyyy troubling book but also something I feel should be

> > required reading for

> > > anyone with children. Gruesome? Frightening? Stuff nightmares

> are

> > made of?

> > > YES..but also ALOT of good information.

> > >

> > > Sorry I didnt mean to digress but honestly I think you and

your

> > family are

> > > handling the situation great and given your sons age I agree

> that

> > at worst it

> > > was probably childish experimentation. Not that it makes it

any

> > easier for your

> > > babygirl but sometimes things happen and all you can do is

the

> best

> > you can do

> > > and I think you are all doing exactly that. KUDOS to you for

> > handling it so

> > > well and so swiftly and I will definately be keeping you and

> your

> > babies in my

> > > thoughts hon.

> > >

> > > HUGS!!!

> > > Shan

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Nicci, Thanks so much for saying that!!!!!!!! It meant alot

considering your mom did drill it into your head and it still

happened to you. You're absolutely right, regardless of what I had

told her she would of still trusted him. Thank you so much. I'm

sooooooooo sorry that it happened to you. xoxoxoxMeaghan

> > In a message dated 5/26/2003 9:54:38 AM Central Daylight Time,

> > meaghandionne@y... writes:

> >

> > > He really is a wonderful kid though, and we'll all pull

through

> this too.

> > > He won't ever sleep on the same floor as her again though.

We

> are currently

> > > turning the dining room into a bedroom for him. I never had

> gotten my fancy

> > > table anyway, it was always just a play room. Meaghan---

> >

> > Oooooo wowser M...I am so sorry for your daughter and actually

for

> your son

> > as well. I am CERTAIN the initial post about this got ate by

> Yahoo b/c nobody

> > here is ''disgusted'' with you or your family hon. I am really

glad

> I asked

> > now b/c you should not have been made to feel that way

> intentionally or not!!

> >

> > I am currently reading the first of many required books in my

> clinical social

> > work curriculum and the name of it is ''Predators: Pedophiles,

> Rapists, and

> > Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We

Can

> Protect

> > Ourselves and Our Children'' by Salter. Its a veryyyyyy

creepy

> and

> > veryyyyyy troubling book but also something I feel should be

> required reading for

> > anyone with children. Gruesome? Frightening? Stuff nightmares

are

> made of?

> > YES..but also ALOT of good information.

> >

> > Sorry I didnt mean to digress but honestly I think you and your

> family are

> > handling the situation great and given your sons age I agree

that

> at worst it

> > was probably childish experimentation. Not that it makes it any

> easier for your

> > babygirl but sometimes things happen and all you can do is the

best

> you can do

> > and I think you are all doing exactly that. KUDOS to you for

> handling it so

> > well and so swiftly and I will definately be keeping you and

your

> babies in my

> > thoughts hon.

> >

> > HUGS!!!

> > Shan

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Nicci, Thanks so much for saying that!!!!!!!! It meant alot

considering your mom did drill it into your head and it still

happened to you. You're absolutely right, regardless of what I had

told her she would of still trusted him. Thank you so much. I'm

sooooooooo sorry that it happened to you. xoxoxoxMeaghan

> > In a message dated 5/26/2003 9:54:38 AM Central Daylight Time,

> > meaghandionne@y... writes:

> >

> > > He really is a wonderful kid though, and we'll all pull

through

> this too.

> > > He won't ever sleep on the same floor as her again though.

We

> are currently

> > > turning the dining room into a bedroom for him. I never had

> gotten my fancy

> > > table anyway, it was always just a play room. Meaghan---

> >

> > Oooooo wowser M...I am so sorry for your daughter and actually

for

> your son

> > as well. I am CERTAIN the initial post about this got ate by

> Yahoo b/c nobody

> > here is ''disgusted'' with you or your family hon. I am really

glad

> I asked

> > now b/c you should not have been made to feel that way

> intentionally or not!!

> >

> > I am currently reading the first of many required books in my

> clinical social

> > work curriculum and the name of it is ''Predators: Pedophiles,

> Rapists, and

> > Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We

Can

> Protect

> > Ourselves and Our Children'' by Salter. Its a veryyyyyy

creepy

> and

> > veryyyyyy troubling book but also something I feel should be

> required reading for

> > anyone with children. Gruesome? Frightening? Stuff nightmares

are

> made of?

> > YES..but also ALOT of good information.

> >

> > Sorry I didnt mean to digress but honestly I think you and your

> family are

> > handling the situation great and given your sons age I agree

that

> at worst it

> > was probably childish experimentation. Not that it makes it any

> easier for your

> > babygirl but sometimes things happen and all you can do is the

best

> you can do

> > and I think you are all doing exactly that. KUDOS to you for

> handling it so

> > well and so swiftly and I will definately be keeping you and

your

> babies in my

> > thoughts hon.

> >

> > HUGS!!!

> > Shan

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Nicci, Thanks so much for saying that!!!!!!!! It meant alot

considering your mom did drill it into your head and it still

happened to you. You're absolutely right, regardless of what I had

told her she would of still trusted him. Thank you so much. I'm

sooooooooo sorry that it happened to you. xoxoxoxMeaghan

> > In a message dated 5/26/2003 9:54:38 AM Central Daylight Time,

> > meaghandionne@y... writes:

> >

> > > He really is a wonderful kid though, and we'll all pull

through

> this too.

> > > He won't ever sleep on the same floor as her again though.

We

> are currently

> > > turning the dining room into a bedroom for him. I never had

> gotten my fancy

> > > table anyway, it was always just a play room. Meaghan---

> >

> > Oooooo wowser M...I am so sorry for your daughter and actually

for

> your son

> > as well. I am CERTAIN the initial post about this got ate by

> Yahoo b/c nobody

> > here is ''disgusted'' with you or your family hon. I am really

glad

> I asked

> > now b/c you should not have been made to feel that way

> intentionally or not!!

> >

> > I am currently reading the first of many required books in my

> clinical social

> > work curriculum and the name of it is ''Predators: Pedophiles,

> Rapists, and

> > Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We

Can

> Protect

> > Ourselves and Our Children'' by Salter. Its a veryyyyyy

creepy

> and

> > veryyyyyy troubling book but also something I feel should be

> required reading for

> > anyone with children. Gruesome? Frightening? Stuff nightmares

are

> made of?

> > YES..but also ALOT of good information.

> >

> > Sorry I didnt mean to digress but honestly I think you and your

> family are

> > handling the situation great and given your sons age I agree

that

> at worst it

> > was probably childish experimentation. Not that it makes it any

> easier for your

> > babygirl but sometimes things happen and all you can do is the

best

> you can do

> > and I think you are all doing exactly that. KUDOS to you for

> handling it so

> > well and so swiftly and I will definately be keeping you and

your

> babies in my

> > thoughts hon.

> >

> > HUGS!!!

> > Shan

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

-Ang, You're probably right!!!! We'll have to do that sometime.

From where I live it only takes about 40 minutes to get to Valley

Park, that's where my best friend lives. I still can't drive though,

I can sit in the car if I sit kinda sideways, but that doesn't make

for good driving. My hubby is so tired of driving me places. I told

him last night that I was so sorry for intentionally throwing myself

down the stairs just to inconvenience him. That would be awesome to

meet you in person though. Meaghan-- In

weightlossbuddies2 , " " <amvdhrjr@n...> wrote:

> Meaghan,

> You are so close to me! I'm down between Fenton and Arnold. I'd

bet

> we could meet in the middle and drive less than 20 minutes :-)

> Ang

>

>

> > -Thanks so much Jinx, I can't believe how awesome you all

> are....how

> > about everybody packing up and moving to Ofallon. We can all

deal

> > with the weight issues and life together, face to face. You guys

> are

> > the best!!!!!!! Meaghan-- In

> > weightlossbuddies2 , " Jinx A. "

> <jinxjohn@a...>

> > wrote:

> > > Meaghan, I am so sorry that you had to go through this and it

is

> > not a reflection of your parenting. Shame on your homeschooling

> > group for being so reactionary and not being better informed. I

> hope

> > you are together soon and that you are able to put it behind

you.

> My

> > thoughts and prayers are with you. Jx.

> > > Re: Meaghan*I'm sooooooooo

> > mad!!!!!!!!!!

> > >

> > >

> > > -Shan, Thank you thank you thank you....now you made me cry

> > though.

> > > I know exactly what you're talking about. See it's always

been

> a

> > > fear of mine because I was raped. (By Zachary's sperm donor

> > > infact.) See, everything happens for a reason...if I hadn't

of

> > been

> > > asked to work the night shift, I wouldn't of been walking out

> > alone

> > > at night, I wouldn't of had to live through that, but then I

> also

> > > wouldn't have my son. When I found out I was preggo it made

> > > everything all right. But because of how he was conceived

I've

> > > always feared that maybe some of that mans traits were passed

> to

> > > him. (The police and the counselors swear that isn't the

case

> > here

> > > though....pray they're right.) Then I had to do a 6 month

> > clinical

> > > at Fulton Prison and guess what I had to lead...none other

then

> > the

> > > sexual pediophile program. There's nothing scarier...and I

> guess

> > > that's where I know I failed my baby. We've talked about

> things

> > like

> > > her body and that nobody has a right to touch her but I never

> > went in

> > > to great detail because I thought she was safe. She's always

> > with

> > > me. I even homeschool her. Guess I screwed up in the worst

> > possible

> > > way. Thanks so much for caring, I know exactely what kind of

> > info

> > > your reading. Meaghan-- In

weightlossbuddies2 ,

> > > girlnamedshannon@a... wrote:

> > > > In a message dated 5/26/2003 9:54:38 AM Central Daylight

> Time,

> > > > meaghandionne@y... writes:

> > > >

> > > > > He really is a wonderful kid though, and we'll all pull

> > through

> > > this too.

> > > > > He won't ever sleep on the same floor as her again

though.

> > We

> > > are currently

> > > > > turning the dining room into a bedroom for him. I never

> had

> > > gotten my fancy

> > > > > table anyway, it was always just a play room. Meaghan---

> > > >

> > > > Oooooo wowser M...I am so sorry for your daughter and

> actually

> > for

> > > your son

> > > > as well. I am CERTAIN the initial post about this got ate

> by

> > > Yahoo b/c nobody

> > > > here is ''disgusted'' with you or your family hon. I am

> really

> > glad

> > > I asked

> > > > now b/c you should not have been made to feel that way

> > > intentionally or not!!

> > > >

> > > > I am currently reading the first of many required books in

my

> > > clinical social

> > > > work curriculum and the name of it is ''Predators:

> Pedophiles,

> > > Rapists, and

> > > > Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and

How

> We

> > Can

> > > Protect

> > > > Ourselves and Our Children'' by Salter. Its a

veryyyyyy

> > creepy

> > > and

> > > > veryyyyyy troubling book but also something I feel should

be

> > > required reading for

> > > > anyone with children. Gruesome? Frightening? Stuff

nightmares

> > are

> > > made of?

> > > > YES..but also ALOT of good information.

> > > >

> > > > Sorry I didnt mean to digress but honestly I think you and

> your

> > > family are

> > > > handling the situation great and given your sons age I

agree

> > that

> > > at worst it

> > > > was probably childish experimentation. Not that it makes it

> any

> > > easier for your

> > > > babygirl but sometimes things happen and all you can do is

> the

> > best

> > > you can do

> > > > and I think you are all doing exactly that. KUDOS to you

for

> > > handling it so

> > > > well and so swiftly and I will definately be keeping you

and

> > your

> > > babies in my

> > > > thoughts hon.

> > > >

> > > > HUGS!!!

> > > > Shan

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

I know there have been tons of responses, since I am 3 days behind on my

email, but I had to say that I am certainly not disgusted! This type of

thing happens a lot more often than people realize.

I was molested by not one, but TWO family members as a child. One was an

adult uncle who knew better, and I of course have never forgiven him, and

won't let him near my child. The other was an aunt who was a " curious

youth " , and although remembering makes me uncomfortable, I found it much

easier to forgive her, and feel that what she did was truly just curiousity,

and that she would never do something like this to a child now.

I never told anyone in my family what happened, although my aversion to the

uncle raised a lot of suspicions, and no one really trusts that uncle now.

No one has ever suspected about the aunt...

Yours is the second story I have heard this month, which is more proof of

how common this can be. A good friend of mine also just confided that her

nephew was caught molesting his sister, and they think he may have molested

her daughter (his cousin) as well. They are of course all very upset over

the issue. All the children involved are young (including the molester), and

hopefully resilient enough to overcome this. It may actually be more

difficult for the adults to overcome.

My thoughts are with you as you struggle with this challenge

Jette

----- Original Message -----

> Actually I already posted about it once and didn't get any replies so

> I figured you all were disgusted with it/me.

[Guest guest]

-Thanks Jette, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that all alone!!!!

You must of always been strong. I hope everything turns out alright

for your friend too. It's unbelievable how often it actually

happens. I never new just how common it was before this. That

knowledge sure doesn't make it any easier though when it's your own

babies. No child should ever loose the ability to trust someone they

love. Meaghan-- In weightlossbuddies2 , " Jette "

<yahoo@e...> wrote:

> I know there have been tons of responses, since I am 3 days behind

on my

> email, but I had to say that I am certainly not disgusted! This

type of

> thing happens a lot more often than people realize.

>

> I was molested by not one, but TWO family members as a child. One

was an

> adult uncle who knew better, and I of course have never forgiven

him, and

> won't let him near my child. The other was an aunt who was

a " curious

> youth " , and although remembering makes me uncomfortable, I found it

much

> easier to forgive her, and feel that what she did was truly just

curiousity,

> and that she would never do something like this to a child now.

>

> I never told anyone in my family what happened, although my

aversion to the

> uncle raised a lot of suspicions, and no one really trusts that

uncle now.

> No one has ever suspected about the aunt...

>

> Yours is the second story I have heard this month, which is more

proof of

> how common this can be. A good friend of mine also just confided

that her

> nephew was caught molesting his sister, and they think he may have

molested

> her daughter (his cousin) as well. They are of course all very

upset over

> the issue. All the children involved are young (including the

molester), and

> hopefully resilient enough to overcome this. It may actually be more

> difficult for the adults to overcome.

>

> My thoughts are with you as you struggle with this challenge

>

> Jette

>

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: Meaghan <meaghandionne@y...>

>

>

> > Actually I already posted about it once and didn't get any

replies so

> > I figured you all were disgusted with it/me.

[Guest guest]

-Thanks Jette, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that all alone!!!!

You must of always been strong. I hope everything turns out alright

for your friend too. It's unbelievable how often it actually

happens. I never new just how common it was before this. That

knowledge sure doesn't make it any easier though when it's your own

babies. No child should ever loose the ability to trust someone they

love. Meaghan-- In weightlossbuddies2 , " Jette "

<yahoo@e...> wrote:

> I know there have been tons of responses, since I am 3 days behind

on my

> email, but I had to say that I am certainly not disgusted! This

type of

> thing happens a lot more often than people realize.

>

> I was molested by not one, but TWO family members as a child. One

was an

> adult uncle who knew better, and I of course have never forgiven

him, and

> won't let him near my child. The other was an aunt who was

a " curious

> youth " , and although remembering makes me uncomfortable, I found it

much

> easier to forgive her, and feel that what she did was truly just

curiousity,

> and that she would never do something like this to a child now.

>

> I never told anyone in my family what happened, although my

aversion to the

> uncle raised a lot of suspicions, and no one really trusts that

uncle now.

> No one has ever suspected about the aunt...

>

> Yours is the second story I have heard this month, which is more

proof of

> how common this can be. A good friend of mine also just confided

that her

> nephew was caught molesting his sister, and they think he may have

molested

> her daughter (his cousin) as well. They are of course all very

upset over

> the issue. All the children involved are young (including the

molester), and

> hopefully resilient enough to overcome this. It may actually be more

> difficult for the adults to overcome.

>

> My thoughts are with you as you struggle with this challenge

>

> Jette

>

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: Meaghan <meaghandionne@y...>

>

>

> > Actually I already posted about it once and didn't get any

replies so

> > I figured you all were disgusted with it/me.

[Guest guest]

Meaghan,

I don't recall the original either. Sorry about that. Been hitting

delete to much lately, sorry. I would never be disgusted about it. Just

feel for you. No parent wants to be in that position. It sounds like it

has been handled very well and your son is getting the help he needs.

Hang in there and we are here if you want to vent anytime. After all,

even if something is " off topic " it really isn't because whatever is

going on in our life does effect our weight loss efforts or maintenance

efforts.

Take care,

Gena

> I never did see the original post.  I probably skipped it by

> accident.  I am not disgusted.  I think that would be so tough to

> deal with as a parent because both of your babies are involved. 

> Wow.  You must be so strong, and I think you are doing a wonderful

> job with a crappy crappy situation.

>

> Hugs,

>

[Guest guest]

Meaghan,

I don't recall the original either. Sorry about that. Been hitting

delete to much lately, sorry. I would never be disgusted about it. Just

feel for you. No parent wants to be in that position. It sounds like it

has been handled very well and your son is getting the help he needs.

Hang in there and we are here if you want to vent anytime. After all,

even if something is " off topic " it really isn't because whatever is

going on in our life does effect our weight loss efforts or maintenance

efforts.

Take care,

Gena

> I never did see the original post.  I probably skipped it by

> accident.  I am not disgusted.  I think that would be so tough to

> deal with as a parent because both of your babies are involved. 

> Wow.  You must be so strong, and I think you are doing a wonderful

> job with a crappy crappy situation.

>

> Hugs,

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Gena, He's actually spent last night here for the first time

since Christmas and things are going great!!!! Meaghan

>

> Meaghan,

> I don't recall the original either. Sorry about that. Been hitting

> delete to much lately, sorry. I would never be disgusted about it.

Just

> feel for you. No parent wants to be in that position. It sounds

like it

> has been handled very well and your son is getting the help he

needs.

> Hang in there and we are here if you want to vent anytime. After

all,

> even if something is " off topic " it really isn't because whatever

is

> going on in our life does effect our weight loss efforts or

maintenance

> efforts.

>

> Take care,

> Gena

>

>

> > I never did see the original post.  I probably skipped it by

> > accident.  I am not disgusted.  I think that would be so tough to

> > deal with as a parent because both of your babies are involved. 

> > Wow.  You must be so strong, and I think you are doing a wonderful

> > job with a crappy crappy situation.

> >

> > Hugs,

> >

>

>

>