RE: Getting Started

June 10, 2011

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're "facing" issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate

my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the "naked mirror" again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 10, 2011

Yeah ... now when I look at clothes I don't worry about the size, as long as it compliments me. I threw a few more pieces out yesterday, even though they fit the shoulders sloped and I decided it did not make me feel good to wear them, so out they go. congratulations to you, too! Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:27 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

Just read your post and I am happy that you were able to toss some of the food. I have done that too and bought a new wardrobe, bigger size, that fits comfortably. It was such a relief. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. I really like your thoughts there. I know I have a lot to learn, thanks for posting. You are right about not having a diet mentality, which I am working on regarding IE. I just do it every day, it does require thoughtfulness, but it feels good to know when I'm hungry and eat at that time. About my self-image, I do notice that when I wear clothes that suit me better, I tend to like my image better. Naked I don't like myself much but that's me and I know that's the way it is. I'm not afraid to admit it, although the thought did occur to me that I should love myself (have compassion for myself) anyway. And that helped. The other day I wore a blouse that I like the pattern of really well, and I wore it out, but when I saw myself in the mirror, I realize the blouse didn't fit me properly (it was too short) and so I decided I had to ditch the blouse. I like looking at myself dressed when my clothes are a bit more flattering, but as much as

I would have liked to twist that blouse into something more acceptable to me image-wise, I had to at last ditch it. Today I dumped a lot of food in the fridge that I bought and know I will probably not eat. It felt good to do that, even though I had that tinge of guilt of wasting food. It feels good to look at less food in the fridge, however, I kept the items that I really really like that I will take and be satisfied with when I'm hungry and feel like eating. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

Hi and welcome back! I'll take a shot at some of the issues you posed in your post. I think the first thing that may be blocking you is the idea of "getting started." That sounds like diet mentality to me. You want to give yourself the weekend "to be bad" so you can "be good" on IE on Monday. That type of thinking can sabotage your efforts. You are not bad now and you won't be good when you are following IE principles. You'll just be following your natural hunger and fullness signals to the best of your ability. If one day (and it will happen), you don't follow those signals and you overeat, you won't have "messed up." It's just your body and mind telling you something. What your overeating is telling you is part of the journey of IE (and life!). Figuring that out goes a long way toward living in a way that honors our bodies. So, every time you have the compulsion to overeat or do so, pay attention! It's an opportunity to learn something

valuable about yourself. It's a gift.

So, don't "get started" with IE. Just eat when you are hungry and notice when you are full for now. You don't have to stop eating, just notice it. Slowly it will come together and you will no longer have the compulsion to eat beyond hunger (most of the time). Listen to your compulsions. They are telling you something you should hear.

I might also suggest trying to not make this about losing weight. It's very difficult to banish the diet mentality when your goal is weight loss. Weight loss immediately creates categories of "good" and "bad." That is a surefire way to get discouraged. What worked for me was giving up the idea of changing anything. I don't want to change myself. I want to listen to and accept myself as I am RIGHT NOW. So, I listen to my hunger signals and full signals; I accept my body. This has been a long journey for me, and I am still learning. Yesterday, I saw myself on camera and had a negative reaction. Usually, such a reaction would have led to overeating, which would have led to another diet and more promises, then rebelling and overeating, and the cycle goes on. Instead now, I just accepted that I had a negative reaction, tried to be nice to myself, and went on with life. Anyway, I've gone on too long. Let us know how it's going!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 10, 2011

Yeah ... now when I look at clothes I don't worry about the size, as long as it compliments me. I threw a few more pieces out yesterday, even though they fit the shoulders sloped and I decided it did not make me feel good to wear them, so out they go. congratulations to you, too! Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:27 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

Just read your post and I am happy that you were able to toss some of the food. I have done that too and bought a new wardrobe, bigger size, that fits comfortably. It was such a relief. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. I really like your thoughts there. I know I have a lot to learn, thanks for posting. You are right about not having a diet mentality, which I am working on regarding IE. I just do it every day, it does require thoughtfulness, but it feels good to know when I'm hungry and eat at that time. About my self-image, I do notice that when I wear clothes that suit me better, I tend to like my image better. Naked I don't like myself much but that's me and I know that's the way it is. I'm not afraid to admit it, although the thought did occur to me that I should love myself (have compassion for myself) anyway. And that helped. The other day I wore a blouse that I like the pattern of really well, and I wore it out, but when I saw myself in the mirror, I realize the blouse didn't fit me properly (it was too short) and so I decided I had to ditch the blouse. I like looking at myself dressed when my clothes are a bit more flattering, but as much as

I would have liked to twist that blouse into something more acceptable to me image-wise, I had to at last ditch it. Today I dumped a lot of food in the fridge that I bought and know I will probably not eat. It felt good to do that, even though I had that tinge of guilt of wasting food. It feels good to look at less food in the fridge, however, I kept the items that I really really like that I will take and be satisfied with when I'm hungry and feel like eating. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

Hi and welcome back! I'll take a shot at some of the issues you posed in your post. I think the first thing that may be blocking you is the idea of "getting started." That sounds like diet mentality to me. You want to give yourself the weekend "to be bad" so you can "be good" on IE on Monday. That type of thinking can sabotage your efforts. You are not bad now and you won't be good when you are following IE principles. You'll just be following your natural hunger and fullness signals to the best of your ability. If one day (and it will happen), you don't follow those signals and you overeat, you won't have "messed up." It's just your body and mind telling you something. What your overeating is telling you is part of the journey of IE (and life!). Figuring that out goes a long way toward living in a way that honors our bodies. So, every time you have the compulsion to overeat or do so, pay attention! It's an opportunity to learn something

valuable about yourself. It's a gift.

So, don't "get started" with IE. Just eat when you are hungry and notice when you are full for now. You don't have to stop eating, just notice it. Slowly it will come together and you will no longer have the compulsion to eat beyond hunger (most of the time). Listen to your compulsions. They are telling you something you should hear.

I might also suggest trying to not make this about losing weight. It's very difficult to banish the diet mentality when your goal is weight loss. Weight loss immediately creates categories of "good" and "bad." That is a surefire way to get discouraged. What worked for me was giving up the idea of changing anything. I don't want to change myself. I want to listen to and accept myself as I am RIGHT NOW. So, I listen to my hunger signals and full signals; I accept my body. This has been a long journey for me, and I am still learning. Yesterday, I saw myself on camera and had a negative reaction. Usually, such a reaction would have led to overeating, which would have led to another diet and more promises, then rebelling and overeating, and the cycle goes on. Instead now, I just accepted that I had a negative reaction, tried to be nice to myself, and went on with life. Anyway, I've gone on too long. Let us know how it's going!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 10, 2011

congratulations on this decision. It sounds like you're " making " yourself do it,

rather than " allowing " ?? What wisdom/compassion would you give a very vulnerable

little girl in your shoes?

As a teacher, I have a different eating style/lifestyle during the summer.

Summer is renewal/spa time, with lots of walks, gym, napping, masks made of

summer vegies/fruits, massage.

foggy

>

> I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at

> following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of

> school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would

> begin.

>

> I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should

just

> wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I

> laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to

> change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know

that

> before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my

> success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my

son

> left for college....familiar patterns crept back.

>

> Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving?

Thanks!

>

June 10, 2011

congratulations on this decision. It sounds like you're " making " yourself do it,

rather than " allowing " ?? What wisdom/compassion would you give a very vulnerable

little girl in your shoes?

As a teacher, I have a different eating style/lifestyle during the summer.

Summer is renewal/spa time, with lots of walks, gym, napping, masks made of

summer vegies/fruits, massage.

foggy

>

> I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at

> following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of

> school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would

> begin.

>

> I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should

just

> wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I

> laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to

> change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know

that

> before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my

> success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my

son

> left for college....familiar patterns crept back.

>

> Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving?

Thanks!

>

June 10, 2011

congratulations on this decision. It sounds like you're " making " yourself do it,

rather than " allowing " ?? What wisdom/compassion would you give a very vulnerable

little girl in your shoes?

As a teacher, I have a different eating style/lifestyle during the summer.

Summer is renewal/spa time, with lots of walks, gym, napping, masks made of

summer vegies/fruits, massage.

foggy

>

> I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at

> following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of

> school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would

> begin.

>

> I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should

just

> wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I

> laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to

> change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know

that

> before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my

> success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my

son

> left for college....familiar patterns crept back.

>

> Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving?

Thanks!

>

June 10, 2011

He was very nice, AND a doctor, too! What is funny is that he was not too vain to have a nice conversation with me. But so many people are very concerned with their looks, evidently this young man saw beyond the looks into the person. Isn't that nice for a change? What will I remember about this young man? That he was good-looking? Only partially, because if he was good-looking and nasty, that's what I'd remember -- that he was good-looking and nasty. it truly gets tiresome to hear someone constantly complain about their ugliness, or self-hatred, never changing into a more realistic way of thinking. It's nice to be good=looking, but you probably remember that old Beatles' song? Will you still love me when I'm 64? How about 68? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the "naked mirror" again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 10, 2011

You wrote The joys far outweigh the regret. I chuckled over the use of the word outweigh. Did you realize you had used it? I don't think I ever was lithe, nimble or thin. I have been reminded of the paintings of Reuben of over weight women who were so beautiful. I goggled his name and printed out some of the pictures. Before I couldn't even look at them. I have a 45 year old daughter who is over weight and hates her body. I hope she can learn from my journey. She's not quite ready though. My Mom was beautiful when she was younger but put on a lot of weight. She never thought of herself as beautiful and destroyed any pictures. I wish she could have know that what she looked like didn't matter. We loved her for being her. Thanks Tai. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're " facing " issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate

my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the " naked mirror " again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting started

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 10, 2011

You wrote The joys far outweigh the regret. I chuckled over the use of the word outweigh. Did you realize you had used it? I don't think I ever was lithe, nimble or thin. I have been reminded of the paintings of Reuben of over weight women who were so beautiful. I goggled his name and printed out some of the pictures. Before I couldn't even look at them. I have a 45 year old daughter who is over weight and hates her body. I hope she can learn from my journey. She's not quite ready though. My Mom was beautiful when she was younger but put on a lot of weight. She never thought of herself as beautiful and destroyed any pictures. I wish she could have know that what she looked like didn't matter. We loved her for being her. Thanks Tai. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're " facing " issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate

my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the " naked mirror " again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting started

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 10, 2011

You wrote The joys far outweigh the regret. I chuckled over the use of the word outweigh. Did you realize you had used it? I don't think I ever was lithe, nimble or thin. I have been reminded of the paintings of Reuben of over weight women who were so beautiful. I goggled his name and printed out some of the pictures. Before I couldn't even look at them. I have a 45 year old daughter who is over weight and hates her body. I hope she can learn from my journey. She's not quite ready though. My Mom was beautiful when she was younger but put on a lot of weight. She never thought of herself as beautiful and destroyed any pictures. I wish she could have know that what she looked like didn't matter. We loved her for being her. Thanks Tai. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're " facing " issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate

my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the " naked mirror " again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting started

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 10, 2011

foggy--those are very thought provoking questions. Until you put it in those words, I didn't consider myself "making" myself do it, but yes, I guess I am. I enjoy not thinking about food much, until I'm fairly hungry and grab what's quick, or nibble at whatever I've fixed/gotten for my daughter. Paying attention to my body isn't something I like, deep down. I'm still thinking about this; I'll end up writing more later about this, I'm sure!And what would I say to a vulnerable little girl in my shoes? Very good question--and one that I need to be able to answer, both for my inner child and for my 14 year old daughter who is changing from an energetic, active child to a heavy, quiet loner....I know I need to be a role model for her.... There are four questions of value in life: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made?What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for?The answer for each is the same:Only Love. --ny DeppTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Fri, June 10, 2011 9:57:18 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

congratulations on this decision. It sounds like you're "making" yourself do it, rather than "allowing"?? What wisdom/compassion would you give a very vulnerable little girl in your shoes?

As a teacher, I have a different eating style/lifestyle during the summer. Summer is renewal/spa time, with lots of walks, gym, napping, masks made of summer vegies/fruits, massage.

foggy

>

> I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at

> following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of

> school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would

> begin.

>

> I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just

> wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I

> laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to

> change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that

> before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my

> success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son

> left for college....familiar patterns crept back.

>

> Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

>

June 10, 2011

foggy--those are very thought provoking questions. Until you put it in those words, I didn't consider myself "making" myself do it, but yes, I guess I am. I enjoy not thinking about food much, until I'm fairly hungry and grab what's quick, or nibble at whatever I've fixed/gotten for my daughter. Paying attention to my body isn't something I like, deep down. I'm still thinking about this; I'll end up writing more later about this, I'm sure!And what would I say to a vulnerable little girl in my shoes? Very good question--and one that I need to be able to answer, both for my inner child and for my 14 year old daughter who is changing from an energetic, active child to a heavy, quiet loner....I know I need to be a role model for her.... There are four questions of value in life: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made?What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for?The answer for each is the same:Only Love. --ny DeppTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Fri, June 10, 2011 9:57:18 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

congratulations on this decision. It sounds like you're "making" yourself do it, rather than "allowing"?? What wisdom/compassion would you give a very vulnerable little girl in your shoes?

As a teacher, I have a different eating style/lifestyle during the summer. Summer is renewal/spa time, with lots of walks, gym, napping, masks made of summer vegies/fruits, massage.

foggy

>

> I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at

> following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of

> school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would

> begin.

>

> I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just

> wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I

> laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to

> change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that

> before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my

> success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son

> left for college....familiar patterns crept back.

>

> Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

>

June 10, 2011

foggy--those are very thought provoking questions. Until you put it in those words, I didn't consider myself "making" myself do it, but yes, I guess I am. I enjoy not thinking about food much, until I'm fairly hungry and grab what's quick, or nibble at whatever I've fixed/gotten for my daughter. Paying attention to my body isn't something I like, deep down. I'm still thinking about this; I'll end up writing more later about this, I'm sure!And what would I say to a vulnerable little girl in my shoes? Very good question--and one that I need to be able to answer, both for my inner child and for my 14 year old daughter who is changing from an energetic, active child to a heavy, quiet loner....I know I need to be a role model for her.... There are four questions of value in life: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made?What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for?The answer for each is the same:Only Love. --ny DeppTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Fri, June 10, 2011 9:57:18 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

congratulations on this decision. It sounds like you're "making" yourself do it, rather than "allowing"?? What wisdom/compassion would you give a very vulnerable little girl in your shoes?

As a teacher, I have a different eating style/lifestyle during the summer. Summer is renewal/spa time, with lots of walks, gym, napping, masks made of summer vegies/fruits, massage.

foggy

>

> I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at

> following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of

> school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would

> begin.

>

> I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just

> wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I

> laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to

> change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that

> before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my

> success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son

> left for college....familiar patterns crept back.

>

> Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

>

June 10, 2011

JJ, You're very right to realize something has to change for your daughters sake. She just can't grow up feeling about her body the way we do about ours and having to go through her life like we have until finding IE. However, I feel compelled to point out, when a teen goes from active and energetic to heavy and a loner, that sets off all kinds of bells and whistles for me. Please be sure there isn't something serious going on with her. Teens are so fragile these days. Often hiding behind fat can be a sign of very serious things. I'm sure you're on top of it, but please offer a counselor if she seems depressed or has possibly been hurt by someone.

I appauld your desire to set a better example for her life.

Sunny

Re: Getting started

congratulations on this decision. It sounds like you're "making" yourself do it, rather than "allowing"?? What wisdom/compassion would you give a very vulnerable little girl in your shoes?

As a teacher, I have a different eating style/lifestyle during the summer. Summer is renewal/spa time, with lots of walks, gym, napping, masks made of summer vegies/fruits, massage.

foggy

>

> I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at

> following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of

> school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would

> begin.

>

> I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just

> wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I

> laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to

> change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that

> before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my

> success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son

> left for college....familiar patterns crept back.

>

> Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

>

June 10, 2011

JJ, You're very right to realize something has to change for your daughters sake. She just can't grow up feeling about her body the way we do about ours and having to go through her life like we have until finding IE. However, I feel compelled to point out, when a teen goes from active and energetic to heavy and a loner, that sets off all kinds of bells and whistles for me. Please be sure there isn't something serious going on with her. Teens are so fragile these days. Often hiding behind fat can be a sign of very serious things. I'm sure you're on top of it, but please offer a counselor if she seems depressed or has possibly been hurt by someone.

I appauld your desire to set a better example for her life.

Sunny

Re: Getting started

congratulations on this decision. It sounds like you're "making" yourself do it, rather than "allowing"?? What wisdom/compassion would you give a very vulnerable little girl in your shoes?

As a teacher, I have a different eating style/lifestyle during the summer. Summer is renewal/spa time, with lots of walks, gym, napping, masks made of summer vegies/fruits, massage.

foggy

>

> I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at

> following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of

> school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would

> begin.

>

> I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just

> wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I

> laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to

> change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that

> before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my

> success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son

> left for college....familiar patterns crept back.

>

> Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

>

June 10, 2011

JJ, You're very right to realize something has to change for your daughters sake. She just can't grow up feeling about her body the way we do about ours and having to go through her life like we have until finding IE. However, I feel compelled to point out, when a teen goes from active and energetic to heavy and a loner, that sets off all kinds of bells and whistles for me. Please be sure there isn't something serious going on with her. Teens are so fragile these days. Often hiding behind fat can be a sign of very serious things. I'm sure you're on top of it, but please offer a counselor if she seems depressed or has possibly been hurt by someone.

I appauld your desire to set a better example for her life.

Sunny

Re: Getting started

congratulations on this decision. It sounds like you're "making" yourself do it, rather than "allowing"?? What wisdom/compassion would you give a very vulnerable little girl in your shoes?

As a teacher, I have a different eating style/lifestyle during the summer. Summer is renewal/spa time, with lots of walks, gym, napping, masks made of summer vegies/fruits, massage.

foggy

>

> I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at

> following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of

> school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would

> begin.

>

> I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just

> wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I

> laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to

> change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that

> before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my

> success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son

> left for college....familiar patterns crept back.

>

> Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

>

June 10, 2011

Hi, Sandy. Studies have shown that women who keep themselves well, i.e., who put on makeup and dress attractively, are perceived as better looking than those who do not do so. Now I for one do not wear much makeup except for lipstick, which makes me feel like I have makeup on, and I try to have a nice haircut, although I keep it short so I don't have to take a lot of time fixing it up. I have thrown out a few outfits lately and am the happier for it, always looking at them to figure out how I can use them. Now the garbage can is using them. I never liked s paintings anyway. However, I am learning to live with myself and accept myself. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 1:36 PMSubject: Re: Getting started

You wrote The joys far outweigh the regret. I chuckled over the use of the word outweigh. Did you realize you had used it? I don't think I ever was lithe, nimble or thin. I have been reminded of the paintings of Reuben of over weight women who were so beautiful. I goggled his name and printed out some of the pictures. Before I couldn't even look at them. I have a 45 year old daughter who is over weight and hates her body. I hope she can learn from my journey. She's not quite ready though. My Mom was beautiful when she was younger but put on a lot of weight. She never thought of herself as beautiful and destroyed any pictures. I wish she could have know that what she looked like didn't matter. We loved her for being her. Thanks Tai. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're "facing" issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make

sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the "naked mirror" again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 10, 2011

Hi, Sandy. Studies have shown that women who keep themselves well, i.e., who put on makeup and dress attractively, are perceived as better looking than those who do not do so. Now I for one do not wear much makeup except for lipstick, which makes me feel like I have makeup on, and I try to have a nice haircut, although I keep it short so I don't have to take a lot of time fixing it up. I have thrown out a few outfits lately and am the happier for it, always looking at them to figure out how I can use them. Now the garbage can is using them. I never liked s paintings anyway. However, I am learning to live with myself and accept myself. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 1:36 PMSubject: Re: Getting started

You wrote The joys far outweigh the regret. I chuckled over the use of the word outweigh. Did you realize you had used it? I don't think I ever was lithe, nimble or thin. I have been reminded of the paintings of Reuben of over weight women who were so beautiful. I goggled his name and printed out some of the pictures. Before I couldn't even look at them. I have a 45 year old daughter who is over weight and hates her body. I hope she can learn from my journey. She's not quite ready though. My Mom was beautiful when she was younger but put on a lot of weight. She never thought of herself as beautiful and destroyed any pictures. I wish she could have know that what she looked like didn't matter. We loved her for being her. Thanks Tai. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're "facing" issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make

sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the "naked mirror" again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 11, 2011

Tai, I never liked s paintings before, not so much that they were nude, although that bothers me too, but that they were over weight and I considered them gross. I no longer think that way thank goodness. I too would much rather be dressed nicely and I wear only foundation makeup. I have a nice short haircut, way over due for a trim, and although my hair is mostly gray, I'm told it looks pretty. I got tired of coloring it a long time ago. I too am learning to love and accept myself. Thanks for the reply. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Studies have shown that women who keep themselves well, i.e., who put on makeup and dress attractively, are perceived as better looking than those who do not do so. Now I for one do not wear much makeup except for lipstick, which makes me feel like I have makeup on, and I try to have a nice haircut, although I keep it short so I don't have to take a lot of time fixing it up. I have thrown out a few outfits lately and am the happier for it, always looking at them to figure out how I can use them. Now the garbage can is using them. I never liked s paintings anyway. However, I am learning to live with myself and accept myself. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 1:36 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

You wrote The joys far outweigh the regret. I chuckled over the use of the word outweigh. Did you realize you had used it? I don't think I ever was lithe, nimble or thin. I have been reminded of the paintings of Reuben of over weight women who were so beautiful. I goggled his name and printed out some of the pictures. Before I couldn't even look at them. I have a 45 year old daughter who is over weight and hates her body. I hope she can learn from my journey. She's not quite ready though. My Mom was beautiful when she was younger but put on a lot of weight. She never thought of herself as beautiful and destroyed any pictures. I wish she could have know that what she looked like didn't matter. We loved her for being her. Thanks Tai. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're " facing " issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make

sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the " naked mirror " again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting started

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 11, 2011

Tai, I never liked s paintings before, not so much that they were nude, although that bothers me too, but that they were over weight and I considered them gross. I no longer think that way thank goodness. I too would much rather be dressed nicely and I wear only foundation makeup. I have a nice short haircut, way over due for a trim, and although my hair is mostly gray, I'm told it looks pretty. I got tired of coloring it a long time ago. I too am learning to love and accept myself. Thanks for the reply. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Studies have shown that women who keep themselves well, i.e., who put on makeup and dress attractively, are perceived as better looking than those who do not do so. Now I for one do not wear much makeup except for lipstick, which makes me feel like I have makeup on, and I try to have a nice haircut, although I keep it short so I don't have to take a lot of time fixing it up. I have thrown out a few outfits lately and am the happier for it, always looking at them to figure out how I can use them. Now the garbage can is using them. I never liked s paintings anyway. However, I am learning to live with myself and accept myself. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 1:36 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

You wrote The joys far outweigh the regret. I chuckled over the use of the word outweigh. Did you realize you had used it? I don't think I ever was lithe, nimble or thin. I have been reminded of the paintings of Reuben of over weight women who were so beautiful. I goggled his name and printed out some of the pictures. Before I couldn't even look at them. I have a 45 year old daughter who is over weight and hates her body. I hope she can learn from my journey. She's not quite ready though. My Mom was beautiful when she was younger but put on a lot of weight. She never thought of herself as beautiful and destroyed any pictures. I wish she could have know that what she looked like didn't matter. We loved her for being her. Thanks Tai. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're " facing " issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make

sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the " naked mirror " again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting started

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 11, 2011

Tai, I never liked s paintings before, not so much that they were nude, although that bothers me too, but that they were over weight and I considered them gross. I no longer think that way thank goodness. I too would much rather be dressed nicely and I wear only foundation makeup. I have a nice short haircut, way over due for a trim, and although my hair is mostly gray, I'm told it looks pretty. I got tired of coloring it a long time ago. I too am learning to love and accept myself. Thanks for the reply. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Studies have shown that women who keep themselves well, i.e., who put on makeup and dress attractively, are perceived as better looking than those who do not do so. Now I for one do not wear much makeup except for lipstick, which makes me feel like I have makeup on, and I try to have a nice haircut, although I keep it short so I don't have to take a lot of time fixing it up. I have thrown out a few outfits lately and am the happier for it, always looking at them to figure out how I can use them. Now the garbage can is using them. I never liked s paintings anyway. However, I am learning to live with myself and accept myself. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 1:36 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

You wrote The joys far outweigh the regret. I chuckled over the use of the word outweigh. Did you realize you had used it? I don't think I ever was lithe, nimble or thin. I have been reminded of the paintings of Reuben of over weight women who were so beautiful. I goggled his name and printed out some of the pictures. Before I couldn't even look at them. I have a 45 year old daughter who is over weight and hates her body. I hope she can learn from my journey. She's not quite ready though. My Mom was beautiful when she was younger but put on a lot of weight. She never thought of herself as beautiful and destroyed any pictures. I wish she could have know that what she looked like didn't matter. We loved her for being her. Thanks Tai. Sandy

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're " facing " issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make

sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the " naked mirror " again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting started

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

June 11, 2011

I, too, stopped coloring my hair, I now like the white look of my hair. I thought about going back to blonde recently, but then decided that no matter how you sliced it, an older woman with blonde hair just doesn't look quite right. That's my opinion, otherwise I would have done it. I know most TV personalities that have grey hair will color it. I decided I'm not a TV personality. I was a faux blonde for many years, some thought I was a natural blonde. :-) I had my hair long for quite a while recently, because I hate going to the hairdresser. But I looked at myself in a store window a few weeks ago and thought the long hair (pulled back) was not doing a thing for me! So I decided then and there I have to cut it short again, despite my reluctance to go to the hairdresser. But it

looks a lot better short. No -- I look a lot better with short hair.

It took me many years of depression, confusion, and angst to get to the place I'm at now. Not always perfect, but far happier than I ever was. There was a saying that youth is wasted on the young. I had to learn the hard way, and I'm still learning, as one of the wonderful things of life is that we are all learning. A wonderful thing!

Nice talking to you, Sandy. I have my bathing suit on but I see the sky is getting a bit cloudy here in south Florida, we need the rain anyway, but I put on my bathing suit early in the day, haven't yet made it to the pool. :-) Perhaps I will. Oops! I hear thunder in the air.

Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Saturday, June 11, 2011 3:25 PMSubject: Re: Getting started

Tai, I never liked s paintings before, not so much that they were nude, although that bothers me too, but that they were over weight and I considered them gross. I no longer think that way thank goodness. I too would much rather be dressed nicely and I wear only foundation makeup. I have a nice short haircut, way over due for a trim, and although my hair is mostly gray, I'm told it looks pretty. I got tired of coloring it a long time ago. I too am learning to love and accept myself. Thanks for the reply. Sandy

June 11, 2011

I, too, stopped coloring my hair, I now like the white look of my hair. I thought about going back to blonde recently, but then decided that no matter how you sliced it, an older woman with blonde hair just doesn't look quite right. That's my opinion, otherwise I would have done it. I know most TV personalities that have grey hair will color it. I decided I'm not a TV personality. I was a faux blonde for many years, some thought I was a natural blonde. :-) I had my hair long for quite a while recently, because I hate going to the hairdresser. But I looked at myself in a store window a few weeks ago and thought the long hair (pulled back) was not doing a thing for me! So I decided then and there I have to cut it short again, despite my reluctance to go to the hairdresser. But it

looks a lot better short. No -- I look a lot better with short hair.

It took me many years of depression, confusion, and angst to get to the place I'm at now. Not always perfect, but far happier than I ever was. There was a saying that youth is wasted on the young. I had to learn the hard way, and I'm still learning, as one of the wonderful things of life is that we are all learning. A wonderful thing!

Nice talking to you, Sandy. I have my bathing suit on but I see the sky is getting a bit cloudy here in south Florida, we need the rain anyway, but I put on my bathing suit early in the day, haven't yet made it to the pool. :-) Perhaps I will. Oops! I hear thunder in the air.

Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Saturday, June 11, 2011 3:25 PMSubject: Re: Getting started

Tai, I never liked s paintings before, not so much that they were nude, although that bothers me too, but that they were over weight and I considered them gross. I no longer think that way thank goodness. I too would much rather be dressed nicely and I wear only foundation makeup. I have a nice short haircut, way over due for a trim, and although my hair is mostly gray, I'm told it looks pretty. I got tired of coloring it a long time ago. I too am learning to love and accept myself. Thanks for the reply. Sandy

June 11, 2011

I, too, stopped coloring my hair, I now like the white look of my hair. I thought about going back to blonde recently, but then decided that no matter how you sliced it, an older woman with blonde hair just doesn't look quite right. That's my opinion, otherwise I would have done it. I know most TV personalities that have grey hair will color it. I decided I'm not a TV personality. I was a faux blonde for many years, some thought I was a natural blonde. :-) I had my hair long for quite a while recently, because I hate going to the hairdresser. But I looked at myself in a store window a few weeks ago and thought the long hair (pulled back) was not doing a thing for me! So I decided then and there I have to cut it short again, despite my reluctance to go to the hairdresser. But it

looks a lot better short. No -- I look a lot better with short hair.

It took me many years of depression, confusion, and angst to get to the place I'm at now. Not always perfect, but far happier than I ever was. There was a saying that youth is wasted on the young. I had to learn the hard way, and I'm still learning, as one of the wonderful things of life is that we are all learning. A wonderful thing!

Nice talking to you, Sandy. I have my bathing suit on but I see the sky is getting a bit cloudy here in south Florida, we need the rain anyway, but I put on my bathing suit early in the day, haven't yet made it to the pool. :-) Perhaps I will. Oops! I hear thunder in the air.

Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Saturday, June 11, 2011 3:25 PMSubject: Re: Getting started

Tai, I never liked s paintings before, not so much that they were nude, although that bothers me too, but that they were over weight and I considered them gross. I no longer think that way thank goodness. I too would much rather be dressed nicely and I wear only foundation makeup. I have a nice short haircut, way over due for a trim, and although my hair is mostly gray, I'm told it looks pretty. I got tired of coloring it a long time ago. I too am learning to love and accept myself. Thanks for the reply. Sandy

June 11, 2011

Where about in south Florida do you live? I live inDaytona Beach(actually right next to it). I did get to the pool today at 5pm and it was beautiful. I don't know why I don't go more often. I'm getting my hair cut this coming week. I too am living a new life after some brain surgery last year which restored me to near normal, walking, thinking, everything. I appreciate life so much more now. Wish we would get some rain here soon. I have no lawn to speak of and can't afford to water. Well got to go. Sandy

I, too, stopped coloring my hair, I now like the white look of my hair. I thought about going back to blonde recently, but then decided that no matter how you sliced it, an older woman with blonde hair just doesn't look quite right. That's my opinion, otherwise I would have done it. I know most TV personalities that have grey hair will color it. I decided I'm not a TV personality. I was a faux blonde for many years, some thought I was a natural blonde. :-) I had my hair long for quite a while recently, because I hate going to the hairdresser. But I looked at myself in a store window a few weeks ago and thought the long hair (pulled back) was not doing a thing for me! So I decided then and there I have to cut it short again, despite my reluctance to go to the hairdresser. But it

looks a lot better short. No -- I look a lot better with short hair.

It took me many years of depression, confusion, and angst to get to the place I'm at now. Not always perfect, but far happier than I ever was. There was a saying that youth is wasted on the young. I had to learn the hard way, and I'm still learning, as one of the wonderful things of life is that we are all learning. A wonderful thing!

Nice talking to you, Sandy. I have my bathing suit on but I see the sky is getting a bit cloudy here in south Florida, we need the rain anyway, but I put on my bathing suit early in the day, haven't yet made it to the pool. :-) Perhaps I will. Oops! I hear thunder in the air.

Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Saturday, June 11, 2011 3:25 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Tai, I never liked s paintings before, not so much that they were nude, although that bothers me too, but that they were over weight and I considered them gross. I no longer think that way thank goodness. I too would much rather be dressed nicely and I wear only foundation makeup. I have a nice short haircut, way over due for a trim, and although my hair is mostly gray, I'm told it looks pretty. I got tired of coloring it a long time ago. I too am learning to love and accept myself. Thanks for the reply. Sandy

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