RE: Getting Started

[Guest guest]

well i don't think there's any reason to feel like a failure - because you're asking us, which means you're still trying so you haven't failed yet.

That is so true. You are NOT a failure. A failure is someone who doesn't try again even after they've been knocked down.

Make a contract with yourself for a reasonable amount of time. I decided on the full fourteen days, embracing the concept that in the scheme of a year, it was so little time. Perhaps commit to four days and when you feel like you're giving in to temptation, remind yourself that you can do it for "three more days." Heck, if you have a kid I'm going to assume you treated yourself well for 40 weeks and avoided things like smoking, eating sushi or whatever else pregnant people do for the health of their baby.

Motivation for me was really that I didn't want to be the fat mom - and didn't want my kid to think of me as that too! And let me tell you, when you start wearing smaller sizes and you're hiking up your skinny clothes because they are too big, that's pretty motivating!

You can do it. Make a reasonable committment. This is a great group = you'll get lots of help and support here.

[Guest guest]

What I did to get motivated-bought a scale so I could stop guessing. And I write down my weight every day. Keeps me both motivated and honest. Today I was 169 which was my first goal to get below 170.

My kids and husband ate pizza tonight but I was very happy with my salmon steak, peas and homemade cole slaw.

I have four kids who all have different eating habits so I know it can be challenging BUT I have never seen a toddler starve to death. Mostly they like to eat what they can feed themselves. Cubed chicken, cheese, bananas cheerios. I have one kid who will not eat a vegetable except for cukes and another who will only eat fresh healthy food.And my oldest is on SB with us. She has lost 50 pounds and is a great inspiration to me.So I guess what I am saying is you have to take care of yourself. The baby will be ok. Buy the stuff you like to eat and try really hard to do the fourteen days. It is the best way to get off sugar.And then you will not be imprisoned by your addiction.

Just a note-my husband is a great support. If yours to help you just for a couple of weeks and tell him how important it is for you , maybe he will jump in and help. This is not a deprivation diet. Maybe you could ask him what he would like you to cook from the recipe files. When I met my hubby, he wouldn't even sniff humus, or even try a mushroom. His mom spoiled him bad. But now he is a lot more adventurous!

It can happen. You are worth the effort.

Good luck. I have learned a lot from reading the posts here, from all of the very generous and helpful people.

Tomorrow I may try to make the crockpot chicken parm!

Martha in NYhttp://community.webshots.com/user/marthabilski

[Guest guest]

my motivation; the mirror wrote:

I'm having the most difficult time starting this diet. I've realized i'm a total a sugar addict. Is there such a thing as a support group called Sugar Anonomys (there should be!! LOL)...OK here's my issue, i do great in the morning. Then it gets to afternoon, I have to feed my toddler (and he has eating issues LONG STORY SHORT he needs to gain weight, it doesn't help that his nutritionist want him to have all high cal foods!!)...anyway after preparing my son's food, I eat my chicken salad or what have you, then my son trys to feed me his grilled cheese, mac & cheese, mashed potatoes, and its all down hill from there...by 3:00 i'm at my worst then by 6:30is its dinner time, my husband he's no help he always wants potatoes, rice, pasta, he comes on on the weekends with with mcdonalds, chinese etc...I just can't resist!! what is

my problem i feel like such a failure... i'm just a mess I need advice on how to stay motivated. I think once i get past the first 3 days i will be fine its just getting there!! Does anyone have any tricks out there to share?__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

You might think of starting in phase II until you get used to it. And feed your son and hubby the same phase II foods. My son also needed to gain weight and feeding him only high calorie foods did not help. It worked the opposite as it did to me. All the processed foods and junk food was not helping him gain at all. Once I started eating healthy foods and feeding him all healthy foods he started to gain weight. And I'm sure it is because of the nutritional value of the foods, he needed. So feeding him good, healthy foods will probably help him a lot, too.

In phase II you get fruits and whole grains: brown rice, sweet potatoes, whole grain high fiber breads, whole wheat noodles. This should satisfy the hubby, too. Once you get used to these foods and get used to not eating the other foods, you can cut back and maybe do phase I then. Eating phase II is still more healthy than eating junk food.

Below are some helpful hints I sent to someone else. Maybe they will help you some. Good luck to you, Carol

Find your motivation for doing this, whether it be to get into smaller clothes, be healthy, make an old flame eat his heart out or whatever it is. Write those reasons down and hang them on your fridge so you can see them. Take an outfit you want to wear that is one size too small (no smaller, cuz if it takes too long to get into, you will get discouraged and give up. If it is just a little smaller, you will see the results in a hurry) and hang it in the bathroom and try it on once a week.Find new recipes. There's hundreds out there, some in the files of this group, and doing a search on the web for phase one recipes will bring up a lot. BUT MAKE SURE that they have the ingrediants compatible withi phase one. Some people list them and say they are phase one but arent. Having new things to eat that you like helps you stick with it. Get yourself some no sugar added fudgesicles to help with the cravings. Also perfect the ricotta desserts to your liking. I put in a little skim milk (Make sure you have the updated food list from the files of this group that have skim milk on it), touch of whipped cream, plain low fat yogurt, the ricotta, and then add flavorings of whatever you are wanting, little sugar free jello powder, or a teaspoon of cocoa powder and sugar substitute, or the Divinci syrups or whatever. Theres even sugar free chocolate syrup that's good in it. Make sure all the food that will temp you is OUT of the house. If someone in the house "has to have it" then make them keep it in their room or whatever, away from you. Stock up on all the foods on the list of foods to enjoy that you LIKE. If you have foods you like, you won't hate being "on plan". Make foods ahead of time, things like soups, chili, different salads, cut up veggies, whatever. Things you can freeze in individual containers and take out when you want something fast or for those times you are too tired to make anything. It really helps to have things "handy". Post here often so you can use us to be "accountable". You really can do this, and you will be REALLY happy and proud of yourself when you do it. DON'T give up! You will feel horrible the next few days from sugar and bad carb withdrawals. You might get cranky, headachy, even some body aches, very listless. IT's all from withdrawing off of sugar and bad carbs. But I swear it's worth it, cuz when you get it out of your system, you will feel better than you ever have. It usually starts around the 3rd day and lasts only a couple of days. Make sure you eat all your meals and snacks, drink all your water (to flush it out of your system faster), get plenty of rest, and take a pain killer if you need it. Getting Started

I'm having the most difficult time starting this diet. I've realized i'm a total a sugar addict. Is there such a thing as a support group called Sugar Anonomys (there should be!! LOL)...OK here's my issue, i do great in the morning. Then it gets to afternoon, I have to feed my toddler (and he has eating issues LONG STORY SHORT he needs to gain weight, it doesn't help that his nutritionist want him to have all high cal foods!!)...anyway after preparing my son's food, I eat my chicken salad or what have you, then my son trys to feed me his grilled cheese, mac & cheese, mashed potatoes, and its all down hill from there...by 3:00 i'm at my worst then by 6:30is its dinner time, my husband he's no help he always wants potatoes, rice, pasta, he comes on on the weekends with with mcdonalds, chinese etc...I just can't resist!! what is my problem i feel like such a failure... i'm just a mess I need advice on how to stay motivated. I think once i get past the first 3 days i will be fine its just getting there!! Does anyone have any tricks out there to share?

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[Guest guest]

>OK here's my issue, i do great in the morning. Then it gets to

>afternoon, I have to feed my toddler (and he has eating issues LONG

>STORY SHORT he needs to gain weight, it doesn't help that his

>nutritionist want him to have all high cal foods!!)...anyway after

>preparing my son's food, I eat my chicken salad or what have you, then

>my son trys to feed me his grilled cheese, mac & cheese, mashed

>potatoes, and its all down hill from there...by 3:00 i'm at my worst

>then by 6:30is its dinner time, my husband he's no help he always

>wants potatoes, rice, pasta, he comes on on the weekends with with

>mcdonalds, chinese etc...I just can't resist!! what is my problem i

>feel like such a failure...

well i don't think there's any reason to feel like a failure - because you're

asking us, which means you're still trying so you haven't failed yet.

there are a lot of possible answers to your problems, but it sounds as though

the crux of the issue is that you have no support whatsoever at home and there's

no immediate reward to maintaining your willpower.

first, you're having to hang out with your toddler and jump through hoops to get

him to eat. this is the easier of the two issues. it might be an easy enough

matter to change the nature of the foods you feed him and do phase 2 with him

(ie - wholegrain bread with paughing cow spread on it, whole wheat mac with

lowfat cheese, or slices of Mayer smoked or boiled ham dipped in mayo that

you can eat wrapped in a romaine leaf [with less mayo than him, of course]). on

the other hand, it might NOT be that easy, since toddlers can be notoriously

picky. but since you're in control of what he eats, you truly can feed him

according to phase 2 principles and i think you can succeed with it if he's

willing to eat that stuff. (hey, sometimes a spoonful of natural peanut butter

can go a long way for a toddler.)

on the other hand, what you do with your husband is another matter entirely,

since this is more of a compromise you have to make. you can definitely cook

according to phase 2 principles there as well, but that assumes that he's going

to accept whole wheat pasta or brown rice. then you can manage the chinese if

you're not tempted to taste his food. depending on what your relationship is

with him, you could either try to talk with him about this and see what you can

come up with as a middle ground, or you could start having your dinners

separately and see how that works.

there are other possibilities here, but since i don't know your situation at

home i can't really speak to them. but one way or the other, i've long since

learned that willpower alone is not the answer when you're taking care of

someone else

~risa

[Guest guest]

Hi ;

I'm so sorry to hear that you feel like a failure. I've felt that

way while following SBD too, as I'm sure others have as well.

What came to mind is a common phrase from Alcoholics Anonymous, " One

Day At A Time " . But, sometimes 1 day is just too much to consider.

So, you tell yourself, " One minute at a time. I can get through this

minute. " Then you work up to " One hour at a time, or one meal at a

time. " Everything new that we need to learn is done at the

beginning, with baby steps. Unfortunately, we can't jump in and

learn new habits within minutes. It takes a lot of practice.

You were given wonderful ideas and suggestions to help motivate

yourself. Coming here to a group that understands what your feeling

is another great way to keep motivated.

Good luck to you. We're rooting for you!

Donna

> I'm having the most difficult time starting this diet. I've

realized

> i'm a total a sugar addict. Is there such a thing as a support

group

> called Sugar Anonomys (there should be!! LOL)...

>

> OK here's my issue, i do great in the morning. Then it gets to

> afternoon, I have to feed my toddler (and he has eating issues LONG

> STORY SHORT he needs to gain weight, it doesn't help that his

> nutritionist want him to have all high cal foods!!)...anyway after

> preparing my son's food, I eat my chicken salad or what have you,

then

> my son trys to feed me his grilled cheese, mac & cheese, mashed

> potatoes, and its all down hill from there...by 3:00 i'm at my

worst

> then by 6:30is its dinner time, my husband he's no help he always

> wants potatoes, rice, pasta, he comes on on the weekends with with

> mcdonalds, chinese etc...I just can't resist!! what is my problem i

> feel like such a failure...

>

> i'm just a mess I need advice on how to stay motivated. I think

once i

> get past the first 3 days i will be fine its just getting there!!

Does

> anyone have any tricks out there to share?

[Guest guest]

, your note caused a couple of things to pop into my mind.

First off, what do you have in your life that brings you joy besides food? I think a lot of us are where we are because we've allowed our lives to become tiny. Just us and food, and eating occasions, and nurturing self and/or others through cooking...

Food isn't bad in and of itself, and nurturing ourselves and others with food isn't bad. It's when this becomes the main source of joy and fulfillment in our lives that it becomes a problem. Any diet, SBD included, can make this problem even worse if we allow our lives to center around the food -- what we eat AND what we don't eat but wish we could. If I've just finished a meal and my thoughts immediately center on what I'm going to eat for the next meal, then something is missing from my life. (And it can be even worse for moms who also need to focus on what their KIDS are eating and not eating!) I think the trick to sticking with SBD is figuring out what that something missing is and adding it in. Take a class? Join a mom's group? Write that great American novel while your kid naps? Only you know what will fill that empty hole you were stuffing with food. It can seem impossible when every second of our lives seems filled with have-to's, but the alternative is staying where we are and doing things the way we've always done them. Which is the better alternative?

The second thing is, what else is there in your relationship with your husband that brings the two of you joy besides food? I consider myself really fortunate because my husband is doing this with me, because SO much of our bonding centered on eating before. We bonded over dinners out, we surprised each other with food treats, I showed my appreciation when he had a hard day by cooking a good meal. I think we married folks need to be sure that the bonding doesn't disappear when we get rid of the unhealthy food choices. Spouses who sabotage diets may just be looking for the closeness they used to have but aren't sure how to get back.

I've lost about 17 lbs. so far (8 weeks), and my husband has lost 35. And I was an incredible sugar addict beforehand. (Stop at one handful of M & Ms? Yeahrightsure.) It does work, but it's not easy. Good luck!

Laurie in Seattle

"The best things in life aren't things."

[Guest guest]

The issue with your munchkin is a toughie. No matter what anyone on the

'net groups tell you about that, you need to work with your pediatrician on

the matter. Be smart -- study, research, and learn through others, but work

with your pediatrician on his diet. When my little ones tried to feed me, I

would just say, " No, you eat it " which usually lead to a giggle and a major

chomping -- in other words, it became a game. What's more, as soon as they

figured out it was funny, they started offering me food then pulling it back

JUST as I reached out for it. When they were REAL little, I'd usually

just take fake bites -- it wasn't until they got a little older I couldn't

get away with that 'un any longer. <Grin>

As for the hubby, that's an easy one. Who cooks the meals? If it's you,

then guess what -- he's at your mercy. Make healthy meals and feed it

to him. If he doesn't like it, he'll either cook his own, eat out, or (more

than likely) adjust. Now, in the interests of maintaining marital bliss,

I'll make this suggestion -- cook him a side of his own. For example, make

a meal with meat, 2 vegetables, and a couple of baked potatoes. That way,

YOU can eat the meat and 2 servings of veggies but he gets his baked

potatoes (which he can dress up however he wishes). Serve salad with dinner

so you can get an added boost of filling nutrition as well -- he might even

enjoy some himself.

During P2, you CAN have pasta -- it just has to be whole grain. Again, try

serving him the whole grain pastas. If he doesn't get used to it or it

becomes too much of an issue, pull out another pot and toss in some regular

pasta for him. Everything else in the meal can be the same -- you're just

adding a single item to differentiate.

Beyond that, it's a matter of willpower. You just have to NOT eat the stuff

you aren't allowed to eat. You'll fail at this on occasion -- don't sweat

it. The once in a while failure is not an issue. Just don't allow them to

become long term jaunts from the diet wagon.

In the end, it all comes down to commitment and that's where your motivation

truly lies. You're either committed to losing weight and getting healthy,

or....

[Guest guest]

As for the hubby, that's an easy one. Who cooks the meals? If it's you,then guess what -- he's at your mercy. Make healthy meals and feed itto him. If he doesn't like it, he'll either cook his own, eat out, or (morethan likely) adjust.

Not always true. I think that if the husband works and the wife stays home she should cook him whatever he wants. He is the one that pays the bills in that situation. and vise versa__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

As for the hubby, that's an easy one. Who cooks the meals? If it's you,then guess what -- he's at your mercy. Make healthy meals and feed itto him. If he doesn't like it, he'll either cook his own, eat out, or (morethan likely) adjust.

Not always true. I think that if the husband works and the wife stays home she should cook him whatever he wants. He is the one that pays the bills in that situation. and vise versa

My house is run more like the first poster but I also wouldn't make something I knew my husband didn't like. I'm pickier than he is and there's rarely something I like that he doesn't.

I've found it's pretty easy to make great tasting, healthy food. I have different things on the menu than I did a few months ago but all in flavors similar to what we eat otherwise.

I think that's important too. You can't force yourself to eat bad tasting food or food you simply don't like. You'll never be able to maintain that for the long term. But, you should keep trying new things and experimenting with recipes. And I think most moms of little kids make more than one meal at dinner some of the time - it's just part of the job!

[Guest guest]

--- Mergel wrote:

> Not always true. I think that if the husband works

> and the wife stays home she should cook him whatever

> he wants. He is the one that pays the bills in that

> situation. and vise versa

Oh my gosh - are you really serious??

I have two issues with that. #1 - I work all day,

too. Yes, I stay home, but I'm raising three

children, a dog, a cat, working part-time while at

home (the for-money kind of working), doing all the

cooking, the chauffeuring, all the laundry, and all

the cleaning. I just don't get paid for it. But I

certainly don't work any LESS than my husband, that's

for sure. #2 - if I only cooked what my husband

wanted, all we would eat would be burgers, steaks,

pizza, mashed potatoes, and pasta. No veggies except

corn, carrots, iceberg lettuce and potatoes.

I am putting the health and well-being of my family

first, not my husband's wants. It's my job to do

this, as I run the household and make sure everyone's

needs are met. And even though he's less than

thrilled with the new foods, he's adjusting and he

knows his old eating habits were bad. He's even lost

a few pounds. I'm doing us all a favor by cooking

healthier, and he knows it, so he doesn't complain

about it. My kids hate veggies, but I'm still making

them - if they won't eat them, then they'll just have

to be hungry. If they had their way, we'd have either

pizza, Spaghetti O's, or mac & cheese every night for

dinner. But they don't run my house - *I* do.

Jen in ND

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

While I do agree if the wife is home most of the day...she is the one who has more time to cook but I also feel that it is part of my "job" to cook healthy for my family. I would also expect my husband to support me (even if just during phase 1) and not expect potatoes, rice dishes ..etc.

MB

RE: Getting Started

As for the hubby, that's an easy one. Who cooks the meals? If it's you,then guess what -- he's at your mercy. Make healthy meals and feed itto him. If he doesn't like it, he'll either cook his own, eat out, or (morethan likely) adjust.

Not always true. I think that if the husband works and the wife stays home she should cook him whatever he wants. He is the one that pays the bills in that situation. and vise versa

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

You go girl!! I am a stay at home mom and I run the house as well.

They eat what I fix for dinner or they go hungry! I don't believe in

that old fashioned attitude that if a man is making the money he

gets to rule the roost. Besides working outside of the house my

husband pretty much does nothing. I feel that this is my job and I'm

damn good at it. I have had to make changes for the health of my

family, they are not all pleased with it but I know they will come

around in the end. I do still buy them some treats though, I just

make sure they're not trigger foods for me.

Dorothy

>

> > Not always true. I think that if the husband works

> > and the wife stays home she should cook him whatever

> > he wants. He is the one that pays the bills in that

> > situation. and vise versa

>

> Oh my gosh - are you really serious??

>

> I have two issues with that. #1 - I work all day,

> too. Yes, I stay home, but I'm raising three

> children, a dog, a cat, working part-time while at

> home (the for-money kind of working), doing all the

> cooking, the chauffeuring, all the laundry, and all

> the cleaning. I just don't get paid for it. But I

> certainly don't work any LESS than my husband, that's

> for sure. #2 - if I only cooked what my husband

> wanted, all we would eat would be burgers, steaks,

> pizza, mashed potatoes, and pasta. No veggies except

> corn, carrots, iceberg lettuce and potatoes.

>

> I am putting the health and well-being of my family

> first, not my husband's wants. It's my job to do

> this, as I run the household and make sure everyone's

> needs are met. And even though he's less than

> thrilled with the new foods, he's adjusting and he

> knows his old eating habits were bad. He's even lost

> a few pounds. I'm doing us all a favor by cooking

> healthier, and he knows it, so he doesn't complain

> about it. My kids hate veggies, but I'm still making

> them - if they won't eat them, then they'll just have

> to be hungry. If they had their way, we'd have either

> pizza, Spaghetti O's, or mac & cheese every night for

> dinner. But they don't run my house - *I* do.

>

> Jen in ND

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I am also more picky than my husband. I just make two meals. I pretty much have to anyway; I eat dinner at around 8-9 pm and he doesn't get off of work until 11pm or midnight. My toddler tends to eat whatever I find lol. She is picky.

My house is run more like the first poster but I also wouldn't make something I knew my husband didn't like. I'm pickier than he is and there's rarely something I like that he doesn't.

I've found it's pretty easy to make great tasting, healthy food. I have different things on the menu than I did a few months ago but all in flavors similar to what we eat otherwise.

I think that's important too. You can't force yourself to eat bad tasting food or food you simply don't like. You'll never be able to maintain that for the long term. But, you should keep trying new things and experimenting with recipes. And I think most moms of little kids make more than one meal at dinner some of the time - it's just part of the job!

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi and welcome back! I'll take a shot at some of the issues you posed in your post. I think the first thing that may be blocking you is the idea of "getting started." That sounds like diet mentality to me. You want to give yourself the weekend "to be bad" so you can "be good" on IE on Monday. That type of thinking can sabotage your efforts. You are not bad now and you won't be good when you are following IE principles. You'll just be following your natural hunger and fullness signals to the best of your ability. If one day (and it will happen), you don't follow those signals and you overeat, you won't have "messed up." It's just your body and mind telling you something. What your overeating is telling you is part of the journey of IE (and life!). Figuring that out goes a long way toward living in a way that honors our bodies. So, every time you have

the compulsion to overeat or do so, pay attention! It's an opportunity to learn something valuable about yourself. It's a gift.

So, don't "get started" with IE. Just eat when you are hungry and notice when you are full for now. You don't have to stop eating, just notice it. Slowly it will come together and you will no longer have the compulsion to eat beyond hunger (most of the time). Listen to your compulsions. They are telling you something you should hear.

I might also suggest trying to not make this about losing weight. It's very difficult to banish the diet mentality when your goal is weight loss. Weight loss immediately creates categories of "good" and "bad." That is a surefire way to get discouraged. What worked for me was giving up the idea of changing anything. I don't want to change myself. I want to listen to and accept myself as I am RIGHT NOW. So, I listen to my hunger signals and full signals; I accept my body. This has been a long journey for me, and I am still learning. Yesterday, I saw myself on camera and had a negative reaction. Usually, such a reaction would have led to overeating, which would have led to another diet and more promises, then rebelling and overeating, and the cycle goes on. Instead now, I just accepted that I had a negative reaction, tried to be nice to myself, and went on with life. Anyway, I've gone on too long. Let us know how it's going!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Hi, Mimi. I really like your thoughts there. I know I have a lot to learn, thanks for posting. You are right about not having a diet mentality, which I am working on regarding IE. I just do it every day, it does require thoughtfulness, but it feels good to know when I'm hungry and eat at that time. About my self-image, I do notice that when I wear clothes that suit me better, I tend to like my image better. Naked I don't like myself much but that's me and I know that's the way it is. I'm not afraid to admit it, although the thought did occur to me that I should love myself (have compassion for myself) anyway. And that helped. The other day I wore a blouse that I like the pattern of really well, and I wore it out, but when I saw myself in the mirror, I realize the blouse didn't

fit me properly (it was too short) and so I decided I had to ditch the blouse. I like looking at myself dressed when my clothes are a bit more flattering, but as much as I would have liked to twist that blouse into something more acceptable to me image-wise, I had to at last ditch it. Today I dumped a lot of food in the fridge that I bought and know I will probably not eat. It felt good to do that, even though I had that tinge of guilt of wasting food. It feels good to look at less food in the fridge, however, I kept the items that I really really like that I will take and be satisfied with when I'm hungry and feel like eating. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

Hi and welcome back! I'll take a shot at some of the issues you posed in your post. I think the first thing that may be blocking you is the idea of "getting started." That sounds like diet mentality to me. You want to give yourself the weekend "to be bad" so you can "be good" on IE on Monday. That type of thinking can sabotage your efforts. You are not bad now and you won't be good when you are following IE principles. You'll just be following your natural hunger and fullness signals to the best of your ability. If one day (and it will happen), you don't follow those signals and you overeat, you won't have "messed up." It's just your body and mind telling you something. What your overeating is telling you is part of the journey of IE (and life!). Figuring that out goes a long way toward living in a way that honors our bodies. So, every time you have the compulsion to overeat or do so, pay attention! It's an opportunity to learn something

valuable about yourself. It's a gift.

So, don't "get started" with IE. Just eat when you are hungry and notice when you are full for now. You don't have to stop eating, just notice it. Slowly it will come together and you will no longer have the compulsion to eat beyond hunger (most of the time). Listen to your compulsions. They are telling you something you should hear.

I might also suggest trying to not make this about losing weight. It's very difficult to banish the diet mentality when your goal is weight loss. Weight loss immediately creates categories of "good" and "bad." That is a surefire way to get discouraged. What worked for me was giving up the idea of changing anything. I don't want to change myself. I want to listen to and accept myself as I am RIGHT NOW. So, I listen to my hunger signals and full signals; I accept my body. This has been a long journey for me, and I am still learning. Yesterday, I saw myself on camera and had a negative reaction. Usually, such a reaction would have led to overeating, which would have led to another diet and more promises, then rebelling and overeating, and the cycle goes on. Instead now, I just accepted that I had a negative reaction, tried to be nice to myself, and went on with life. Anyway, I've gone on too long. Let us know how it's going!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself,

but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have

a good evening. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PMSubject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

WOW! Thanks for that feedback to another person! It really helped me as I've been feeling non-IE-ish (not yet in Webster's!) lately!CTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, June 9, 2011 8:29:26 AMSubject: Re: Getting

started

Hi and welcome back! I'll take a shot at some of the issues you posed in your post. I think the first thing that may be blocking you is the idea of "getting started." That sounds like diet mentality to me. You want to give yourself the weekend "to be bad" so you can "be good" on IE on Monday. That type of thinking can sabotage your efforts. You are not bad now and you won't be good when you are following IE principles. You'll just be following your natural hunger and fullness signals to the best of your ability. If one day (and it will happen), you don't follow those signals and you overeat, you won't have "messed up." It's just your body and mind telling you something.

What your overeating is telling you is part of the journey of IE (and life!). Figuring that out goes a long way toward living in a way that honors our bodies. So, every time you have

the compulsion to overeat or do so, pay attention! It's an opportunity to learn something valuable about yourself. It's a gift.

So, don't "get started" with IE. Just eat when you are hungry and notice when you are full for now. You don't have to stop eating, just notice it. Slowly it will come together and you will no longer have the compulsion to eat beyond hunger (most of the time). Listen to your compulsions. They are telling you something you should hear.

I might also suggest trying to not make this about losing weight. It's very difficult to banish the diet mentality when your goal is weight loss. Weight loss immediately creates categories of "good" and "bad." That is a surefire way to get discouraged. What worked for me was giving up the idea of changing anything. I don't want to change myself. I want to listen to and accept myself as I am RIGHT NOW. So, I listen to my hunger signals and full signals; I accept my body. This has been a long journey for me, and I am still learning. Yesterday, I saw myself on camera and had a negative reaction. Usually, such a reaction would have led to overeating, which would have led to another diet and more promises, then rebelling and overeating, and the cycle goes on. Instead now, I just accepted that I had a negative reaction, tried to be nice to myself, and went on with life. Anyway, I've gone on too long. Let us know how it's going!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

WOW! Thanks for that feedback to another person! It really helped me as I've been feeling non-IE-ish (not yet in Webster's!) lately!CTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, June 9, 2011 8:29:26 AMSubject: Re: Getting

started

Hi and welcome back! I'll take a shot at some of the issues you posed in your post. I think the first thing that may be blocking you is the idea of "getting started." That sounds like diet mentality to me. You want to give yourself the weekend "to be bad" so you can "be good" on IE on Monday. That type of thinking can sabotage your efforts. You are not bad now and you won't be good when you are following IE principles. You'll just be following your natural hunger and fullness signals to the best of your ability. If one day (and it will happen), you don't follow those signals and you overeat, you won't have "messed up." It's just your body and mind telling you something.

What your overeating is telling you is part of the journey of IE (and life!). Figuring that out goes a long way toward living in a way that honors our bodies. So, every time you have

the compulsion to overeat or do so, pay attention! It's an opportunity to learn something valuable about yourself. It's a gift.

So, don't "get started" with IE. Just eat when you are hungry and notice when you are full for now. You don't have to stop eating, just notice it. Slowly it will come together and you will no longer have the compulsion to eat beyond hunger (most of the time). Listen to your compulsions. They are telling you something you should hear.

I might also suggest trying to not make this about losing weight. It's very difficult to banish the diet mentality when your goal is weight loss. Weight loss immediately creates categories of "good" and "bad." That is a surefire way to get discouraged. What worked for me was giving up the idea of changing anything. I don't want to change myself. I want to listen to and accept myself as I am RIGHT NOW. So, I listen to my hunger signals and full signals; I accept my body. This has been a long journey for me, and I am still learning. Yesterday, I saw myself on camera and had a negative reaction. Usually, such a reaction would have led to overeating, which would have led to another diet and more promises, then rebelling and overeating, and the cycle goes on. Instead now, I just accepted that I had a negative reaction, tried to be nice to myself, and went on with life. Anyway, I've gone on too long. Let us know how it's going!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

WOW! Thanks for that feedback to another person! It really helped me as I've been feeling non-IE-ish (not yet in Webster's!) lately!CTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, June 9, 2011 8:29:26 AMSubject: Re: Getting

started

Hi and welcome back! I'll take a shot at some of the issues you posed in your post. I think the first thing that may be blocking you is the idea of "getting started." That sounds like diet mentality to me. You want to give yourself the weekend "to be bad" so you can "be good" on IE on Monday. That type of thinking can sabotage your efforts. You are not bad now and you won't be good when you are following IE principles. You'll just be following your natural hunger and fullness signals to the best of your ability. If one day (and it will happen), you don't follow those signals and you overeat, you won't have "messed up." It's just your body and mind telling you something.

What your overeating is telling you is part of the journey of IE (and life!). Figuring that out goes a long way toward living in a way that honors our bodies. So, every time you have

the compulsion to overeat or do so, pay attention! It's an opportunity to learn something valuable about yourself. It's a gift.

So, don't "get started" with IE. Just eat when you are hungry and notice when you are full for now. You don't have to stop eating, just notice it. Slowly it will come together and you will no longer have the compulsion to eat beyond hunger (most of the time). Listen to your compulsions. They are telling you something you should hear.

I might also suggest trying to not make this about losing weight. It's very difficult to banish the diet mentality when your goal is weight loss. Weight loss immediately creates categories of "good" and "bad." That is a surefire way to get discouraged. What worked for me was giving up the idea of changing anything. I don't want to change myself. I want to listen to and accept myself as I am RIGHT NOW. So, I listen to my hunger signals and full signals; I accept my body. This has been a long journey for me, and I am still learning. Yesterday, I saw myself on camera and had a negative reaction. Usually, such a reaction would have led to overeating, which would have led to another diet and more promises, then rebelling and overeating, and the cycle goes on. Instead now, I just accepted that I had a negative reaction, tried to be nice to myself, and went on with life. Anyway, I've gone on too long. Let us know how it's going!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Wonderful! I will have to work on the " naked mirror " again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind.  Sandy

 

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself,

but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have

a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PMSubject: Re: Getting started

 

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

 

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to  be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

 

Mimi

Subject: Getting started

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

 

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as  I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body.  I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!  

[Guest guest]

Just read your post and I am happy that you were able to toss some of the food.  I have done that too and bought a new wardrobe, bigger size, that fits comfortably.  It was such a relief.  Sandy

 

Hi, Mimi. I really like your thoughts there. I know I have a lot to learn, thanks for posting. You are right about not having a diet mentality, which I am working on regarding IE. I just do it every day, it does require thoughtfulness, but it feels good to know when I'm hungry and eat at that time. About my self-image, I do notice that when I wear clothes that suit me better, I tend to like my image better. Naked I don't like myself much but that's me and I know that's the way it is. I'm not afraid to admit it, although the thought did occur to me that I should love myself (have compassion for myself) anyway. And that helped. The other day I wore a blouse that I like the pattern of really well, and I wore it out, but when I saw myself in the mirror, I realize the blouse didn't

fit me properly (it was too short) and so I decided I had to ditch the blouse. I like looking at myself dressed when my clothes are a bit more flattering, but as much as I would have liked to twist that blouse into something more acceptable to me image-wise, I had to at last ditch it. Today I dumped a lot of food in the fridge that I bought and know I will probably not eat. It felt good to do that, even though I had that tinge of guilt of wasting food. It feels good to look at less food in the fridge, however, I kept the items that I really really like that I will take and be satisfied with when I'm hungry and feel like eating. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 10:29 AM

Subject: Re: Getting started

 

Hi and welcome back!  I'll take a shot at some of the issues you posed in your post. I think the first thing that may be blocking you is the idea of " getting started. " That sounds like diet mentality to me. You want to give yourself the weekend " to be bad " so you can " be good " on IE on Monday. That type of thinking can sabotage your efforts. You are not bad now and you won't be good when you are following IE principles. You'll just be following your natural hunger and fullness signals to the best of your ability. If one day (and it will happen), you don't follow those signals and you overeat, you won't have " messed up. " It's just your body and mind telling you something. What your overeating is telling you is part of the journey of IE (and life!). Figuring that out goes a long way toward living in a way that honors our bodies. So, every time you have the compulsion to overeat or do so, pay attention! It's an opportunity to learn something

valuable about yourself. It's a gift.

 

So, don't " get started " with IE. Just eat when you are hungry and notice when you are full for now. You don't have to stop eating, just notice it. Slowly it will come together and you will no longer have the compulsion to eat beyond hunger (most of the time). Listen to your compulsions. They are telling you something you should hear.

 

I might also suggest trying to not make this about losing weight. It's very difficult to banish the diet mentality when your goal is weight loss. Weight loss immediately creates categories of " good " and " bad. " That is a surefire way to get discouraged. What worked for me was giving up the idea of changing anything. I don't want to change myself. I want to listen to and accept myself as I am RIGHT NOW. So, I listen to my hunger signals and full signals; I accept my body. This has been a long journey for me, and I am still learning. Yesterday, I saw myself on camera and had a negative reaction. Usually, such a reaction would have led to overeating, which would have led to another diet and more promises, then rebelling and overeating, and the cycle goes on. Instead now, I just accepted that I had a negative reaction, tried to be nice to myself, and went on with life. Anyway, I've gone on too long. Let us know how it's going!

 

Mimi

Subject: Getting started

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

 

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as  I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body.  I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!  

[Guest guest]

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're "facing" issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate

my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the "naked mirror" again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Hi, Sandy. Now that we're "facing" issues, hehehe, I am in virtually the same category as you. 67, going on 68. Amazing, huh? Sometimes i think of the mistresses of the kings of France and England, how it is noted that as they got older they were very, very concerned about their looks and lack of youth, because there was always a younger woman to replace them. Sad but true. The only time I liked my body was when I was young, lithe, nimble, and thin. That was about when I was 18 and a few more years where things did not take its toll on my body. Emotions and bad times (decisions) got in the way. So I ate my way into more misery, lol. OK -- all that being said, I am happy I am at the point where I can recognize that I must work on it, it does not happen naturally in my case. I ate

my way into this place and I expect to use good judgment and lack of (self) hatred to get out of this place. Does this make sense? I have a feeling that not only are we in the same age bracket, but we are possibly in the same place emotionally.

My regret? That it took me so long to get here, but the joys of realizing myself far outweigh the sense of regret at not having been able to cope before this. I hope that younger people can learn from our experience -- that they can love themselves, that things do not have to be perfect for them to love themselves. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:22 AMSubject: Re: Getting started

Wonderful! I will have to work on the "naked mirror" again too. And as I posted before, I am coming up on birthday 68, live in orida and spend a lot of time in shorts or a bathing suit. I am so glad you had a nice handsome young man to talk to and that he was so kind. Sandy

Hi, Mimi. Thanks for the encouraging words. I like your way of reasoning. I am accepting the fact that I don't like the way I look in the mirror especially when I'm naked. I didn't think I was rejecting myself, but now that you put it that way, that could be so. My mother became old and feeble, I did have compassion for her, so in the same manner I should have compassion (feel sorry?) for myself. No, I will think of treating myself kindly. And why not? Why shouldn't I treat myself kindly? In the long run, I do love myself and want love for myself. So why wouldn't I give myself some love, kindness, and compassion? And I will try to look more kindly on myself, even when overweight and even when I see myself in my naked state. Now I didn't say I would LIKE looking old and feeble, that I LIKE limping or dragging myself, but really it's more about the way I know people will respond to, or look at me. I'm actually happy that I can walk around at

all, even if it's with a limp and I no longer look young and pretty, as I used to. But I will be more compassionate towards myself. I liked the thought that someone said about appearing in a bathing suit. Thank you, by the way, for responding to my blouse story. I went in the pool today (hooray!) and I am an old-er lady. There was a handsome young man in the pool and he was extraordinarily kind. Never met him before, but he said hello immediately. He was speaking to another old-er lady that I know. Turns out he was someone's grandson who lives there, and just graduated medical school. Now if I were younger in his age league, I never would have been able to speak to him. But he was so pleasant, so kind and so sweet, we had a great conversation! So hopefully he will remember our very pleasant conversation, I know I sure will. Have a good evening. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:00 PM

Subject: Re: Getting started

Hi, Tai. We ALL have a lot of learn, that's for sure! A few thoughts: I think the fact that you can admit to yourself that you don't like yourself naked is an awesome first step. As weird as it sounds, you are accepting yourself while rejecting yourself. As in, you are accepting that you are rejecting yourself. That does sound convoluted, doesn't it?! That's where you are right now in your journey and that's exactly where you should be. Having compassion for yourself does not happen overnight; it starts with recognizing that there are some cases where you don't feel self-compassion. Recognize it and be curious about it, that's all. There is no rush to immediately change yourself. Simply being curious about yourself and your feelings can be incredibly transformative.

I think you are on to something with your blouse story. Respecting and tending to your appearance is respecting yourself. That's a great place to be. I know that I am caring for myself when I get up in the morning and actually iron my clothes because I want to look good for myself and feel I deserve to look good. Those little acts of caring and kindness really add up. Good for you!

Mimi

Subject: Getting startedTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 10:06 PM

I decided last weekend to begin IE again--6 or 7 years ago, I worked hard at following the ideas and lost close to 30 pounds. Tomorrow is my last day of school (I'm a teacher) and I set the first day of vacation as the day I would begin. I can feel myself starting to procrastinate,whispering that maybe I should just wait till Monday...that's a good day to start. Give myself a weekend. Then I laugh ruefully, understanding that I'm undercutting myself as I say I want to change, that I want to lose weight while learning to love my body. I know that before it worked and I was both proud and surprised by the process and my success at it. Why did I stop? Not sure...my husband had a health crisis, my son left for college....familiar patterns crept back. Insight? Suggestions? Anyone nearby to give me a kick to get me moving? Thanks!