Hello

March 22, 1999

Very true I don't think there can ever be hard and fast rules as all

children are different .I think we just have to do the best we can.

Best wishes

Liz

Re: Hello

Hi Wendi

It seems that your boy sounds very like Selina, she does exactly that.

Again I feel its her beginning to try to assert her own personality ans also

she seems very bright and I often think she thinks faster than her body can

act and she gets frustrated.She has hit me a few times and my instinct has

been not to react or make a fuss and ignore it, a lot of people ie family

have said to hit her back and I feel this is exactly the wrong thing to do

as all that will teach her is that the bigger you are the harder you can hit

and I think thats the perfect recipe to create a bully.

She definately doesn't like it when I ignore her(when she's misbehaving) and

will quickly stop and run over for a cuddle or a little feed.

I must admit to being lucky in that these episodes are infrequent as for 90%

of the time she's absolutely delightful.... which I always put down (when

ever anyone compliments me on her) to breast feeding!

Liz

April 9, 1999

In a message dated 4/9/1999 7:08:11 AM Central Daylight Time,

cherylw@... writes:

<< I guess I just needed to get some things off my chest >>

We all need to get lots off of our chest. YM cousin weighed over 350 pounds

and isn't even five feet tall. She had surgery years ago and had a repeat

surgery after having a baby...her life is so changed and wonderful now. She

had to lose around fifity to have the surgery....what an accomplishment.

Have you thought of counselling to help you get the last chunk off? We

understand you.

I hate going out with my husband and see the women looking at him

like..... " She couldn't have been that fat when you married her... " He's

5'10, great smile, gorgeous blue eyes, 170 lbs (only because he's got back

problems...normally he stays between 150-160), professional....gives foot

massages (is even giving up his weekend to help me get an accounting project

done), plays with the girls, gives them and ME (hee hee) bubble baths and is

madly in love with me!

His sister was the modern model for Barbie (or so my four yr old thinks), and

his mother is a nurse practioner. His father is a psychologist (everytime I

eat, I see his mind calculating my inner thoughts)...and yet he married me.

You see, I was obese when we married and chubby when we met (size 14-16)...so

he does love me. It's a much better plac eto be than many of my friends whos

ehubbys tease them now that they are losing their girlish figure...better

than those unknown wives of the guys Ihear talk about how the flubber and

rolls disgusts them...we have it much better, Cheryl.

Tara

April 9, 1999

Cheryl,

I started a new diet program a few weeks before my surgery. It is truly the

best diet I have ever been on. I was not hungry one minute. It was thru the

Internet and a registered dietitian makes a diet just for you, depending upon

your age, sex, weight, activity level, etc. You have a choice between three

programs, all convenience foods, all recipes that you cook, or a combination

of the two. I chose the combination, and I will tell you that her recipes

are all very tasty.

I will be happy to mail you my menus, recipes, shopping lists, etc., or send

you the link to the program so you can buy your " Personal Program. " I

believe the cost is about $89.00 for one year, but you may want to go that

route if you can afford it, simply because I weighed about 320, and the more

you weigh, the more calories you are allowed. That is why you do not get

hungry!

Let me know if you are interested!

April 9, 1999

Cheryl,

I've been lurking around a lot, too - sorry, guys! And if it helps you at

all, I also have to lose weight to qualify for the surgery, although I have

to say it bolsters my confidence in Dr. R that he's unwilling to take

unnecessary risks. I also have to lose a lot more than you, and I've

decided to go back to my old haunts (the - dum, dum, dum: diet doctor). I

first saw him when I saw seven years old and have since, over the years,

gone back to him about four or five times. I always lose the weight - I

just can't keep it off.

Anyway, I'm sure that you have also lost a lot of weight over the years - so

try to think positively. This time you can suffer through the diet and not

have to worry about it creeping back up on you. I always hated that I would

suffer - and I mean really suffer - through day after day of eating

decision, abstinence, obsession and then, maybe, at the end of seven days

have lost three pounds only to know that it would jump right back on me if I

let myself go even once. Now you know that this last bit of determination

will actually present you with the opportunity to be free forever. We all

know you can do it.

Sincerely,

Delisa Mulkey

Assistant Director of Member Services - Data Processing

dmulkey@...

" Sanity's just a one-trick pony - all you get is reason.

But when you're good and crazy, the sky's the limit! "

~The Tick

hello

Hello,

I've been reading the list since Dr R started it. Mostly I just " lurk " ,

afraid of letting out some pain I think. I see a lot of honesty here

and a lot of support. Its wonderful....Funny thing is I suggested this

bulletin board to Dr R. so I feel really guilty about lurking. You see,

I'm real good at feeling guilty. Seems I've felt guilty for my entire

life. I've always blamed myself for being overweight.

I'm having a really difficult time right now because I can't have the

surgery until I lose weight. About 23 more pounds. I lost 13 but it was

so difficult. Then I went on a family trip for Easter and probably

gained 5 back. I can't weigh on my Dr's scales so I have no idea. I

didn't have the Cadbury eggs but I had the prime rib and other really

high calorie things. I guess I should be more motivated to lose this 23

lbs but its not an easy thing.... right now I'm under a tremendous

amount of stress..

You see, last year at 39, I met the most wonderful man on the internet.

We fell in love and he came here last summer for a visit. I was very

honest with him about being overweight and for some reason, only God

knows, he loves me ... He went home, quit his job, packed his house

up... and came back to me .. after seeing me and knowing about my being

overweight ...He moved here in Sept and our plan is to marry sometime

this year. Did I tell you he was from Europe? That he came here to be

with me from the Netherlands. He is the most wonderful , sweet man ...

He doesn't care that I am " fat " , what he worries about is that I am

obese and have health problems. Joint and back pain, as well as HBP.

His parents are coming May 9 to meet me and I really afraid. You see the

Dutch are tall, blonde and lean. Very lean. And health conscious .. I'm

afraid they will look at me with disdain and wonder how I " let " myself

get this heavy ... *sigh* He's a 6 foot 4 really handsome man, and he

has a good enough heart to be able to love a 384 women. He really wants

me to have the surgery and he went to Durham with me ....He wants me to

live a long time with him.. for us to have a better life. He wants to

walk on a beach with me ...to walk in a shopping mall without my having

to walk from bench to bench...

So, you ask me what my stress is ... I haven't had the nerve to tell him

I have to LOSE weight to qualify for the surgery. I can't tell him my

weight.. it hurts too much... I'm worried his parents will be shocked

and won't like me .. and I'm having a really tough time dieting... I'm a

business owner and being a female owner, very overweight, is tough ..

I've been avoiding social business functions b/c I don't feel

comfortable ...

I guess I just needed to get some things off my chest ... and I knew

that here was a safe place to do it ...thanks for reading...

Cheryl

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This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

April 9, 1999

Cheryl,

Thank you for sharing and being so honest. Though I have shared a bit,

I do a lot of " lurking " , too. One thing I realized is how wonderfully

supportive and honest and caring this group is. What a great thing to

experience!

I am so happy to hear your story of love and support you have received

from your Dutchman! If I traveled anywhere, one of my first picks would be

The Netherlands! Before too many moons you will be able to fly there

comfortably! I can understand your apprehension at meeting his family and

don't know what to tell you except to remember his love for you and your

love for him(what really counts in that relationship anyway). AND

REMEMBER--- you are doing something about your health---you are losing

weight---you will have the surgery. I think it is easy to become

discouraged when one reads of the fantastica nd rapid weight loss the

" post-ops " experience after surgery but remember WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN

JOURNEY. Some of take a slower path. It is old behavior and dangerous

territory to get into the comparison thing...of course, we all do that to

some extent but if we are not careful we can really get into trouble with

it.

What a wonderful opportunity you have to experience others who may not

have been influenced by the " American Way " . This is a wonderful and great

country we live in but sometimes our perceptions are very unhealthy....

I am rambling but I want you to know how your story touched me this

morning and I am so happy for you....remember how much he loves you and how

we are all behind you. You CAN face anything you set your mind

to....remember meeting the " future inlaws " gives ANYONE the heebee

geebees.... Springtime sunshine to you...

Amy

hello

>

>Hello,

>

>I've been reading the list since Dr R started it. Mostly I just " lurk " ,

>afraid of letting out some pain I think. I see a lot of honesty here

>and a lot of support. Its wonderful....Funny thing is I suggested this

>bulletin board to Dr R. so I feel really guilty about lurking. You see,

>I'm real good at feeling guilty. Seems I've felt guilty for my entire

>life. I've always blamed myself for being overweight.

>

>I'm having a really difficult time right now because I can't have the

>surgery until I lose weight. About 23 more pounds. I lost 13 but it was

>so difficult. Then I went on a family trip for Easter and probably

>gained 5 back. I can't weigh on my Dr's scales so I have no idea. I

>didn't have the Cadbury eggs but I had the prime rib and other really

>high calorie things. I guess I should be more motivated to lose this 23

>lbs but its not an easy thing.... right now I'm under a tremendous

>amount of stress..

>

>You see, last year at 39, I met the most wonderful man on the internet.

>We fell in love and he came here last summer for a visit. I was very

>honest with him about being overweight and for some reason, only God

>knows, he loves me ... He went home, quit his job, packed his house

>up... and came back to me .. after seeing me and knowing about my being

>overweight ...He moved here in Sept and our plan is to marry sometime

>this year. Did I tell you he was from Europe? That he came here to be

>with me from the Netherlands. He is the most wonderful , sweet man ...

>He doesn't care that I am " fat " , what he worries about is that I am

>obese and have health problems. Joint and back pain, as well as HBP.

>

>His parents are coming May 9 to meet me and I really afraid. You see the

>Dutch are tall, blonde and lean. Very lean. And health conscious .. I'm

>afraid they will look at me with disdain and wonder how I " let " myself

>get this heavy ... *sigh* He's a 6 foot 4 really handsome man, and he

>has a good enough heart to be able to love a 384 women. He really wants

>me to have the surgery and he went to Durham with me ....He wants me to

>live a long time with him.. for us to have a better life. He wants to

>walk on a beach with me ...to walk in a shopping mall without my having

>to walk from bench to bench...

>

>So, you ask me what my stress is ... I haven't had the nerve to tell him

>I have to LOSE weight to qualify for the surgery. I can't tell him my

>weight.. it hurts too much... I'm worried his parents will be shocked

>and won't like me .. and I'm having a really tough time dieting... I'm a

>business owner and being a female owner, very overweight, is tough ..

>I've been avoiding social business functions b/c I don't feel

>comfortable ...

>

>I guess I just needed to get some things off my chest ... and I knew

>that here was a safe place to do it ...thanks for reading...

>

>Cheryl

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Are you hogging all the fun?

>http://www.ONElist.com

>Friends tell friends about ONElist!

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

>

April 9, 1999