Re: Having a Really bad day- Any advice is appreciated!

[Guest guest]

That's what's happenning to me. Since explant, I've been waking up

every morning at 4 a.m. and I can't go back to sleep. It's so tiring.

I have bags under my eyes. This morning I also had a sharp pain in my

left ear.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day

I've

> > had

> > > > since

> > > > > > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't

in

> a

> > > lot

> > > > of

> > > > > > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last

couple

> > of

> > > > days,

> > > > > > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just

> felt

> > so

> > > > bad,

> > > > > > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took

> one

> > of

> > > > all

> > > > > of

> > > > > > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm

just

> so

> > > > > > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because

I've

> > been

> > > > > > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just

so

> > > > > frustrated

> > > > > > and scared!

> > > > > > My hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel

like

> > he

> > > > keeps

> > > > > > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored,

> so

> > he

> > > > > keeps

> > > > > > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk

> > > because

> > > > he

> > > > > > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me

and

> > > does

> > > > not

> > > > > > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am

being

> > left

> > > > > > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not

get

> > it!

> > > He

> > > > > > said " I thought getting the implants out was going to

take

> > care

> > > of

> > > > > > this? " I tried to tell him that I am going to need to

work

> at

> > > it,

> > > > so

> > > > > > then he said " then why aren't you working at it, you

aren't

> > > doing

> > > > > > anything. " Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he

> > > says " you

> > > > > need

> > > > > > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make

you

> > feel

> > > > > > better. " Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise right

now!

> > Not

> > > > just

> > > > > > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body

> > hurts

> > > > too

> > > > > > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to

> > > understand

> > > > > what

> > > > > > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not

very

> > > good

> > > > > with

> > > > > > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes

things

> to

> > > be

> > > > > even

> > > > > > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn,

which

> is

> > > > what

> > > > > he

> > > > > > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that

we

> > > won't

> > > > > get

> > > > > > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any

> > answers,

> > > > it's

> > > > > > not like losing a job where you can just get another one

to

> > fix

> > > > the

> > > > > > problem. There is no fix!

> > > > > > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love

my

> > > > husband

> > > > > so

> > > > > > much and I'm so tired of being sick.

> > > > > > I've been eating as healthy as I can, resting...what else

> is

> > > > there?

> > > > > > Thanks for any advice.

> > > > > > Love, Krista

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Stephie,

I'm so sorry about your stepfather leaving so suddenly. What a

crummy year, huh? My father-in-law passed away 3 weeks ago.One thing

that gets me through is to picture my M-I-L and F-I-L

up in heaven. I know they are looking down on me, wanting the best

for me. They are my angels. Your stepfather is doing the same.

As far as the holidays...my husband and I told each other that this

will be the best New Year's ever because we want to forget 2007.

I've always loved New Year's...not for the parties but for the new

beginning/clean slate. Try not to stress. Think about how your

health will have improved in 2008! - PH

-- In , " stephie0580 " <stephie0580@...>

wrote:

>

> Thanks for the encouragement. I've just never felt this bad before

> and didn't expect to feel this bad after surgery. It just kind of

> gets depressing since the holidays are near. As if the holidays

> weren't going to be bad enough for my family. My step father passed

> away on June 28 this year. He was only 45. He passed away of sudden

> cardiac arrest and it's been so hard on everyone.

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Krista,

> > > >

> > > > When you think in term of years to get better . . . realize

> that

> > > you will be gradually getting better that entire time. . . It's

> not

> > > like turning on a light at the end of those years and

> > > being " well " . . . It's a gradual process that you will barely

> > > notice, unless you are keeping a journal. . .

> > > >

> > > > IMHO, where you are now is the worst you will likely

> > > experience . . . you'll gradually feel better and better . . .

> bad

> > > days farther and farther apart . . . One day you'll look back

and

> > > realize how far you've come.

> > > >

> > > > One of the biggest obstacles is letting go of the stress,

anger

> > and

> > > guilt. All of these take valuable energy that is better spent

on

> > > healing.

> > > >

> > > > You're going to get there! . . . Trust that you will, then do

> > > everything to help your body accomplish what it needs to do.

> > > >

> > > > Hugs and prayers,

> > > >

> > > > Rogene

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Who did your surgery Steph? Lynn

Re: Having a Really bad day- Any advice is appreciated!

Hi PH, I wish I could have the strength to take walks or even cook. I've been so fatigued that I can't do anything besides lay in bed and I've had a headache for the past 2 days. > >> > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day I've had since> > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't in a lot of> > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last couple of days,> > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just felt so bad,> > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took one of all > of> > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm just so> > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because I've been> > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just so > frustrated> > and scared!> > My

hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel like he keeps> > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored, so he > keeps> > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk because he> > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me and does not> > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am being left> > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not get it! He> > said "I thought getting the implants out was going to take care of> > this?" I tried to tell him that I am going to need to work at it, so> > then he said "then why aren't you working at it, you aren't doing> > anything." Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he says "you > need> > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make you feel> > better." Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise

right now! Not just> > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body hurts too> > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to understand > what> > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not very good > with> > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes things to be > even> > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn, which is what > he> > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that we won't > get> > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any answers, it's> > not like losing a job where you can just get another one to fix the> > problem. There is no fix!> > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love my husband > so> > much and I'm so tired of being sick. > > I've been eating as

healthy as I can, resting...what else is there?> > Thanks for any advice.> > Love, Krista> >>

[Guest guest]

Stephie,I'm so glad you joined! I saw Rubin on a 30 minute broadcast with his master chief preparing what looked to be delicious foods! . . . Even Lynn's hubby liked the foods.I think you'll find many of the ingredients at regular groceries . . . Lynn can help you get started. We don't have Whole Foods here . . . Wild Oats is an hour away.I can't tell you how many women have told us that they didn't start feeling better until they addressed their diet issues. . . They had tried everything else . . . We're so conditioned to take a pill to fix something, we've come to expect fast, easy answers.Diet isn't that easy. It take commitment and work . . . But the results are worth

whatever it takes!Hugs,Rogene

[Guest guest]

Stephie,I can make myself sick by laying in bed all day . . . I start feeling sluggish, heavy, depressed, etc.You don't have to stay up all day, or for long periods . . . Just get up as often as you can and move about as much as you can. . . . The more you move about, the better you'll feel. . . even if you don't feel like getting up! . . . Having things that must be done helps. Set little goals and deadline . . . You can do it!Hugs,Rogene

[Guest guest]

Stephie,Sometimes we don't sleep well because we're not physically tired. It's hard to be physically tired when we're spending a lot of time in bed.So, get up and do something . . . even if it's walking around the house. Even if you have to lay down for a few minutes before you do it again.Hugs,Rogene

[Guest guest]

Well I'm going to do some laundry but how do I get rid of the extreme

fatigue? I can't sleep good at night and since explant I've been

waking up every morning at 4 a.m.

>

> Stephie,

>

> I can make myself sick by laying in bed all day . . . I start

feeling sluggish, heavy, depressed, etc.

>

> You don't have to stay up all day, or for long periods . . . Just

get up as often as you can and move about as much as you can. . . .

The more you move about, the better you'll feel. . . even if you

don't feel like getting up! . . .

>

> Having things that must be done helps. Set little goals and

deadline . . . You can do it!

>

> Hugs,

>

> Rogene

>

[Guest guest]

Krista,

My husband is the same way in that he withdraws when he has trouble

dealing with things. We have been married 28 years though so this

crisis was different for us.

I can tell you that he has been that way through our entire

relationship though. I just think sometimes that they love us so much

and feel powerless to help us, they withdraw...which makes it worse

for us... which makes us want to talk to them more and make sure they

understand and give us support... which makes them want to withdraw

more....

It is a vicious cycle sometimes.

I guess sometimes I just have to stop talking when I see him withdraw.

I talk then more to friends or here lately. (If I need to talk about

my feeling crappy) I take a break from trying to make him understand

and support me. I turn the tables and tell him I will get better. I

support him. I talk about a trip we might take or anything else but

not my illness. I go out to dinner with him and talk about our future

together... not getting involved in any talk about bad I feel.

Later... (not that day or the next necessarily), we can talk about how

I feel again..

Because we have been married so long, I can actually say to him now...

" I think I shouldn't be talking to you about this now because I can

see you withdraw " . He knows he does it but it is not because he

doesn't love me.. it is because he is scared and tired of the stress

of my illness too.

I don't know if this helps at all... but hang in there. You are not

alone.

> > >

> > > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day I've had since

> > > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't in a lot of

> > > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last couple of days,

> > > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just felt so bad,

> > > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took one of all

> > of

> > > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm just so

> > > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because I've been

> > > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just so

> > frustrated

> > > and scared!

> > > My hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel like he keeps

> > > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored, so he

> > keeps

> > > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk because he

> > > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me and does not

> > > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am being left

> > > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not get it! He

> > > said " I thought getting the implants out was going to take care of

> > > this? " I tried to tell him that I am going to need to work at it, so

> > > then he said " then why aren't you working at it, you aren't doing

> > > anything. " Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he says " you

> > need

> > > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make you feel

> > > better. " Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise right now! Not just

> > > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body hurts too

> > > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to understand

> > what

> > > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not very good

> > with

> > > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes things to be

> > even

> > > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn, which is what

> > he

> > > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that we won't

> > get

> > > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any answers, it's

> > > not like losing a job where you can just get another one to fix the

> > > problem. There is no fix!

> > > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love my husband

> > so

> > > much and I'm so tired of being sick.

> > > I've been eating as healthy as I can, resting...what else is there?

> > > Thanks for any advice.

> > > Love, Krista

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,The extreme fatigue will let up as you treat for fungal issues, eat healthy and get a moderate amount of exercise.Getting tired is not going to cause further injury . . . It just makes you feel bad. . . Stay as active as you can . . . If you feel you can't push yourself any further, rest, then give it a go again as soon as you can. . . . The body is built for action . . . You'll feel better after you get started moving - even though you don't feel like moving when you start.Hugs,Rogene

[Guest guest]

Thanks, sorry to hear about your fatherin-law. I really want to

forget this year all together.

> > > >

> > > > Rogene, I would love to believe that but it's hard. I feel

like

> > > crap.

> > > > My skin is pale, my eyes look glossy, I have fatigue and a

> > > headache.

> > > > This morning I woke up with an eye infection. My husband and

I

> > were

> > > > planning on having a baby but who knows when that can happen.

I

> > > feel

> > > > that every day I feel worse and not better.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > --- In , Rogene <saxony01@>

wrote:

> > > > >

> > > > > Krista,

> > > > >

> > > > > When you think in term of years to get better . . . realize

> > that

> > > > you will be gradually getting better that entire time. . .

It's

> > not

> > > > like turning on a light at the end of those years and

> > > > being " well " . . . It's a gradual process that you will

barely

> > > > notice, unless you are keeping a journal. . .

> > > > >

> > > > > IMHO, where you are now is the worst you will likely

> > > > experience . . . you'll gradually feel better and

better . . .

> > bad

> > > > days farther and farther apart . . . One day you'll look back

> and

> > > > realize how far you've come.

> > > > >

> > > > > One of the biggest obstacles is letting go of the stress,

> anger

> > > and

> > > > guilt. All of these take valuable energy that is better spent

> on

> > > > healing.

> > > > >

> > > > > You're going to get there! . . . Trust that you will, then

do

> > > > everything to help your body accomplish what it needs to do.

> > > > >

> > > > > Hugs and prayers,

> > > > >

> > > > > Rogene

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Stephie,

The fatigue is your body's way of healing. If you were functioning

like you used to, your body would be consuming energy for those

activities and wouldn't have enough left over for healing.

Your body knows how to heal. It knows that right now it needs the

energy for healing so as a result you're not able to carry on like

you used to. As you heal and become stronger, the fatigue lessens

and will eventually disappear. I still have days where I rest more

than anything but the next day I am able to function much better.

Improvement is slow, but it does happen. You need to have faith!

Google inspirational quotes to help you stay positive. Write a

letter to yourself of all the things you will do when you are

healed. Seriously, journaling helped me so much in getting all the

fears out in the beginning. - PH

> >

> > Stephie,

> >

> > I can make myself sick by laying in bed all day . . . I start

> feeling sluggish, heavy, depressed, etc.

> >

> > You don't have to stay up all day, or for long periods . . . Just

> get up as often as you can and move about as much as you can. . . .

> The more you move about, the better you'll feel. . . even if you

> don't feel like getting up! . . .

> >

> > Having things that must be done helps. Set little goals and

> deadline . . . You can do it!

> >

> > Hugs,

> >

> > Rogene

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Ok so far today I took an epsom salt bath, did one load of laundry,

and now I'm snacking on some raw broccoli.

>

> ,

>

> The extreme fatigue will let up as you treat for fungal issues, eat

healthy and get a moderate amount of exercise.

>

> Getting tired is not going to cause further injury . . . It just

makes you feel bad. . .

>

> Stay as active as you can . . . If you feel you can't push yourself

any further, rest, then give it a go again as soon as you can. . . .

>

> The body is built for action . . . You'll feel better after you get

started moving - even though you don't feel like moving when you

start.

>

> Hugs,

>

> Rogene

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Cherie- I am so sorry to hear about your tooth and that you are

still feeling very fatigued. You're right, we are ALL going through

different things right now and are each dealing with our own set of

problems. It is so nice to have each other to talk with, vent to, ask

questions, etc. I don't know what I'd do without this group. I too,

thought I'd be feeling better by now, I know how frustrating it is not

to feel better as soon as the implants come out. I am realizing now

that that is only the first step in healing and that I am going to

have to do A LOT more. I feel like my body is just all whacked out

right now and can't seem to get back to a " normal state. " I think it

is because it is adjusting to all of the changes, the trauma, the

medication, etc. I just don't have a lot of energy to do much accept

sit around the house.

I know you are right, that my husband is acting very typical.It sounds

like most women's husband reacted this way. This is good to hear. But,

we had a good talk last night and I think that helped. I am no longer

going to act like I feel fine, when I don't. But, I'm going to try

hard not to ONLY talk about my health. Hopefully this helps.

Well, hang in there and just remember that no matter how much we just

want to bounce back, it's just not going to happen over night. Give

yourself plenty of forgiveness.

Love, Krista

> >

> > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day I've had since

> > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't in a lot of

> > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last couple of days,

> > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just felt so bad,

> > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took one of all

> of

> > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm just so

> > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because I've been

> > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just so

> frustrated

> > and scared!

> > My hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel like he keeps

> > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored, so he

> keeps

> > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk because he

> > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me and does not

> > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am being left

> > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not get it! He

> > said " I thought getting the implants out was going to take care of

> > this? " I tried to tell him that I am going to need to work at it, so

> > then he said " then why aren't you working at it, you aren't doing

> > anything. " Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he says " you

> need

> > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make you feel

> > better. " Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise right now! Not just

> > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body hurts too

> > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to understand

> what

> > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not very good

> with

> > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes things to be

> even

> > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn, which is what

> he

> > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that we won't

> get

> > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any answers, it's

> > not like losing a job where you can just get another one to fix the

> > problem. There is no fix!

> > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love my husband

> so

> > much and I'm so tired of being sick.

> > I've been eating as healthy as I can, resting...what else is there?

> > Thanks for any advice.

> > Love, Krista

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Krista, Which Maker's Diet book did you purchase? There's one

called " The Shopper's Guide " which has alot of recipes in it.

> > >

> > > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day I've had

since

> > > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't in a

lot of

> > > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last couple of

days,

> > > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just felt so

bad,

> > > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took one of

all

> > of

> > > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm just so

> > > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because I've been

> > > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just so

> > frustrated

> > > and scared!

> > > My hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel like he

keeps

> > > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored, so he

> > keeps

> > > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk

because he

> > > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me and

does not

> > > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am being left

> > > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not get it!

He

> > > said " I thought getting the implants out was going to take care

of

> > > this? " I tried to tell him that I am going to need to work at

it, so

> > > then he said " then why aren't you working at it, you aren't

doing

> > > anything. " Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he

says " you

> > need

> > > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make you feel

> > > better. " Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise right now! Not

just

> > > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body hurts

too

> > > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to

understand

> > what

> > > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not very

good

> > with

> > > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes things to

be

> > even

> > > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn, which is

what

> > he

> > > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that we

won't

> > get

> > > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any answers,

it's

> > > not like losing a job where you can just get another one to fix

the

> > > problem. There is no fix!

> > > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love my

husband

> > so

> > > much and I'm so tired of being sick.

> > > I've been eating as healthy as I can, resting...what else is

there?

> > > Thanks for any advice.

> > > Love, Krista

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Bindi- Thanks so much for your message, it really helped. It is

good to hear that your partner reacted the same way as my hubby is. I

think, like your partner going and playing the guitar for hours is

like my husband going to the gym. It is a way to release the stress

and not have to deal with it for a few hours. I told him last night

that because of my illness, he's going to be in the best shape of his

life! You're right, it's difficult to not feel lonely when you are so

sick, just want the person who you love to comfort you, and instead

they are withdrawing from you.

I will ask him if he'd be interested in talking with someone else who

has gone through this. That might be helpful for him to hear how

others dealt with it and know that there is light at the end of the

tunnel.

I am going to take your advice and start walking. There is a great

trail in my backyard that just makes a big loop, so I can walk that

and then just come home if I get too tired.

I do plan to start up with the massages. Right now, things are a big

too sore, but as soon as the my breasts are healed, I am going to

start massaging. Also, I really like the idea of setting 10 minutes

out during the day to talk about how you feel. That way, they know you

aren't always going to talk about it, but you can get out everything

you want to tell them.

I might try counseling too. I think my husband has a lot of

difficulties with communicating and also dealing with the ups and

downs of life. I have a hard time dealing with stress, I don't deal

with stress very well. So, both have some things that we could work on.

Thanks again for the message, it helped so much!

Love, Krista

>

> Dear Krista,

> You poor thing. I know how difficult it is to feel so bad and at the

same time be worried that your husband is getting tired of you being

sick. If you've felt you must downplay your illness, you must really

be feeling alone with this.

>

> Would it help for him to have contact with another man whose

partner or wife has been through this? My partner would be happy to

talk to him through email, if that would help.

>

> My partner also had a hard time with me being sick. I was totally

debilitated for six months, and he had to come home from work every

night and cook, do housework, grocery shop, etc. He had his own ways

of dealing with it, like retreating into his guitar playing for hours

at night. I understood it was challenging to be around me when I felt

so bad all the time, but it also made me feel lonely. We've since

worked through the difficulties, and I am SO much better now, so

things are not as hard.

>

> YOU will get better, but it's only been 9 days, girl! Give yourself

permission to heal, at least a month before you doing anything other

than resting when you have the chance. Your body is whacked out!

>

> Some things that helped me feel better while I waited to heal:

>

> I walked every day for 45 minutes and still do. You may not be ready

to walk a lot, but try and do it for at least 15 minutes a day if you

can. It will make a HUGE difference in pain and energy levels.

>

> Take baths or hot showers. If you have a hot tub, even better-- you

can sit in it with your husband. Get massages if you can afford them.

Do as many relaxing, pleasurable activities as you can fit into your

day. Do things that distract you from your discomfort-- movies, music,

reading, whatever works for you.

>

> One thing that my partner and I agreed on to help us through my hard

times was for him to sit and listen to me talk for 10 minutes every

day, often while he rubbed my back. I would talk about how I

felt(usually pretty crappy) and he would listen. After this period I

wouldn't mention it again for the rest of the day. This helped us a

lot. Often after being listened to for 10 minutes, I didn't need or

want to talk about my troubles anymore anyway. Just being heard helped

me immensely. And it helped my partner, too, because he knew that my

condition wasn't going to be the only subject we ever talked about,

that life could have some normalcy that included his needs and desires.

>

> If things get really hairy you might want to try couples counseling,

just to have a forum where you can both express your feelings and feel

heard, in a safe setting with an unbiased third party. You shouldn't

have to hide your feelings, Krista. You need support. You and your

husband are going to have many hurdles to leap over together in the

future-- it comes with the territory, especially if children enter the

picture. This illness of yours is an opportunity for you as a couple

to learn and grow in your relationship. I know it has been for me.

>

> I hope you feel some relief soon.

>

> Bindi

>

[Guest guest]

Sis- I'm glad to hear that you and your husband are doing better. You

are absolutely right in saying that they want proof that our illness

is being caused by the implants and when we don't just just right back

into life, they wonder. I've been trying to tell my husband that I am

going to need some time to heal, but sometimes I think that frustrates

him further, because he wonders how long our life is going to be put

on hold. He wants answers, and I have none for him. He wants a quick

fix, and there just isn't one. It is frustrating for both of us.

Thank you for your message, it really gives me hope that there is

light at the end of the tunnel, and that I just need to be patient.

Love, Krista

> >

> > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day I've had

> since

> > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't in a lot

> of

> > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last couple of

> days,

> > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just felt so

> bad,

> > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took one of

> all of

> > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm just so

> > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because I've been

> > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just so

> frustrated

> > and scared!

> > My hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel like he

> keeps

> > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored, so he

> keeps

> > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk because

> he

> > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me and does

> not

> > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am being left

> > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not get it! He

> > said " I thought getting the implants out was going to take care of

> > this? " I tried to tell him that I am going to need to work at it,

> so

> > then he said " then why aren't you working at it, you aren't doing

> > anything. " Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he says " you

> need

> > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make you feel

> > better. " Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise right now! Not just

> > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body hurts too

> > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to understand

> what

> > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not very good

> with

> > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes things to be

> even

> > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn, which is what

> he

> > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that we won't

> get

> > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any answers,

> it's

> > not like losing a job where you can just get another one to fix the

> > problem. There is no fix!

> > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love my husband

> so

> > much and I'm so tired of being sick.

> > I've been eating as healthy as I can, resting...what else is there?

> > Thanks for any advice.

> > Love, Krista

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Steph- My hubby feel the same way. He thinks I am on this forum too

much. I just told him that this is where I am getting support and hope

from, and it is all I have. They just don't understand. They think we

should just be able to jump up, do the laundry, go to the grocery

store, go exercise, etc. When the only thing we feel like doing is

laying in bed.

Just do what's right for you right now. You sound like you have a

wonderful husband, who will be there through thick and thin. Just take

care of yourself for now, you'll be able to do more of those things in

time.

Love, Krista

> >

> > Stephie,

> >

> > I wish I had a key to turn the switch on how you're thinking.

> >

> > You're actually making yourself worse through your thought pattern

> at this time.

> >

> > It takes some mental gymnastics to change a mind set when you're

> where you're at right now . . . I wish I know which techniques would

> work for you!

> >

> > I'd suggest finding someone who needs help more than you . . . A

> shut-in friend or family member who would appreciate a phone

> call . . . A funny video . . . a funny book . . . making something to

> surprise a friend - like a funny gift or card.

> >

> > I'm afraid you're giving your symptoms too much energy right

> now . . . Write them down, then find something else to think

> about. . . Even if it means taking a break from the group while you

> do.

> >

> > Where you're at right now isn't helping you physically, or

> mentally. . . . When we accept the mindset that we're sick and not

> going to get better, we quit doing what it takes to get better. . . .

> You have to take control of your health . .. You're the only one who

> can do it!

> >

> > What's going on with you is not terminal. . . It's frustrating as

> ****, but you're going to get through it - one step at a time.

> >

> > You're the only one who can take those steps! . . .

> >

> > I really, truly wish it was easier!

> >

> > Hugs and prayers,

> >

> > Rogene

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I love my husband and I thank god he's supporting me. I called my dr.

today and so far I don't have to be back to work until Dec 10 so

we'll see how I feel by then. My hubby told me to take all the time I

needed. Every time he's been home lately he sees my laying in bed

with my laptop. I'm going to try to cool it a little when he's home.

> > >

> > > Stephie,

> > >

> > > I wish I had a key to turn the switch on how you're thinking.

> > >

> > > You're actually making yourself worse through your thought

pattern

> > at this time.

> > >

> > > It takes some mental gymnastics to change a mind set when

you're

> > where you're at right now . . . I wish I know which techniques

would

> > work for you!

> > >

> > > I'd suggest finding someone who needs help more than you . . .

A

> > shut-in friend or family member who would appreciate a phone

> > call . . . A funny video . . . a funny book . . . making

something to

> > surprise a friend - like a funny gift or card.

> > >

> > > I'm afraid you're giving your symptoms too much energy right

> > now . . . Write them down, then find something else to think

> > about. . . Even if it means taking a break from the group while

you

> > do.

> > >

> > > Where you're at right now isn't helping you physically, or

> > mentally. . . . When we accept the mindset that we're sick and

not

> > going to get better, we quit doing what it takes to get

better. . . .

> > You have to take control of your health . .. You're the only one

who

> > can do it!

> > >

> > > What's going on with you is not terminal. . . It's frustrating

as

> > ****, but you're going to get through it - one step at a time.

> > >

> > > You're the only one who can take those steps! . . .

> > >

> > > I really, truly wish it was easier!

> > >

> > > Hugs and prayers,

> > >

> > > Rogene

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi - Yes, it does helps. It just helps to know that other

husbands have reacted this same way. Sometimes, when I try and talk to

him about it, he'll actually change the subject. That's my way of

knowing that he doesn't want to talk about it, and I need to learn to

be okay with that. It's hurt my feelings in the past because I took it

as he doesn't care about my health or what I am going through, now I

am realizing that it is not that at all. He's scared and feels

powerless to help. I try to tell him that I am not looking to him for

answers, just that I am looking for his support. For some reason, he

thinks I come to him because I want him to fix it. I guess that's

just how men are. I really like Bindi's idea of setting aside 10

minutes a day to talk about it, and then that's it.

I know we'll get through this, we are both committed to the marriage,

he is just going to have to learn how to better deal with all of the

ups and downs. I keep telling him that they're are going to be many

more we have to deal with together. Hopefully, he realizes that and

learns better with how to deal.

Thanks again for message .

Love, Krista

> > > >

> > > > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day I've had

since

> > > > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't in a

lot of

> > > > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last couple of

days,

> > > > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just felt

so bad,

> > > > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took one

of all

> > > of

> > > > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm just so

> > > > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because I've been

> > > > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just so

> > > frustrated

> > > > and scared!

> > > > My hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel like he

keeps

> > > > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored, so he

> > > keeps

> > > > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk

because he

> > > > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me and

does not

> > > > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am being left

> > > > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not get it! He

> > > > said " I thought getting the implants out was going to take care of

> > > > this? " I tried to tell him that I am going to need to work at

it, so

> > > > then he said " then why aren't you working at it, you aren't doing

> > > > anything. " Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he says " you

> > > need

> > > > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make you feel

> > > > better. " Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise right now! Not

just

> > > > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body

hurts too

> > > > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to understand

> > > what

> > > > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not very good

> > > with

> > > > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes things to be

> > > even

> > > > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn, which is

what

> > > he

> > > > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that we won't

> > > get

> > > > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any

answers, it's

> > > > not like losing a job where you can just get another one to

fix the

> > > > problem. There is no fix!

> > > > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love my

husband

> > > so

> > > > much and I'm so tired of being sick.

> > > > I've been eating as healthy as I can, resting...what else is

there?

> > > > Thanks for any advice.

> > > > Love, Krista

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I want to forget this whole year too. Our family has been through a

lot too. I guess 2007 was not the year for any of us. Here's to hoping

2008 will be MUCH better.

Love, Krista

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Krista,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > When you think in term of years to get better . . . realize

> > > that

> > > > > you will be gradually getting better that entire time. . .

> It's

> > > not

> > > > > like turning on a light at the end of those years and

> > > > > being " well " . . . It's a gradual process that you will

> barely

> > > > > notice, unless you are keeping a journal. . .

> > > > > >

> > > > > > IMHO, where you are now is the worst you will likely

> > > > > experience . . . you'll gradually feel better and

> better . . .

> > > bad

> > > > > days farther and farther apart . . . One day you'll look back

> > and

> > > > > realize how far you've come.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > One of the biggest obstacles is letting go of the stress,

> > anger

> > > > and

> > > > > guilt. All of these take valuable energy that is better spent

> > on

> > > > > healing.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > You're going to get there! . . . Trust that you will, then

> do

> > > > > everything to help your body accomplish what it needs to do.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Hugs and prayers,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Rogene

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Me too! I hope things are looking up in 2008 because I want a baby!

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Krista,

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > When you think in term of years to get better . . .

realize

> > > > that

> > > > > > you will be gradually getting better that entire

time. . .

> > It's

> > > > not

> > > > > > like turning on a light at the end of those years and

> > > > > > being " well " . . . It's a gradual process that you will

> > barely

> > > > > > notice, unless you are keeping a journal. . .

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > IMHO, where you are now is the worst you will likely

> > > > > > experience . . . you'll gradually feel better and

> > better . . .

> > > > bad

> > > > > > days farther and farther apart . . . One day you'll look

back

> > > and

> > > > > > realize how far you've come.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > One of the biggest obstacles is letting go of the

stress,

> > > anger

> > > > > and

> > > > > > guilt. All of these take valuable energy that is better

spent

> > > on

> > > > > > healing.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > You're going to get there! . . . Trust that you will,

then

> > do

> > > > > > everything to help your body accomplish what it needs to

do.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Hugs and prayers,

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Rogene

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Steph- I purchased just the one called The Maker's Diet by Rubin

Jordan. I found it on half.com for like a dollar. What a deal huh?! I

could probably find the other one for cheap on there too if it has a

lot of good recipes.

~Krista

> > > >

> > > > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day I've had

> since

> > > > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't in a

> lot of

> > > > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last couple of

> days,

> > > > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just felt so

> bad,

> > > > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took one of

> all

> > > of

> > > > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm just so

> > > > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because I've been

> > > > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just so

> > > frustrated

> > > > and scared!

> > > > My hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel like he

> keeps

> > > > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored, so he

> > > keeps

> > > > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk

> because he

> > > > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me and

> does not

> > > > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am being left

> > > > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not get it!

> He

> > > > said " I thought getting the implants out was going to take care

> of

> > > > this? " I tried to tell him that I am going to need to work at

> it, so

> > > > then he said " then why aren't you working at it, you aren't

> doing

> > > > anything. " Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he

> says " you

> > > need

> > > > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make you feel

> > > > better. " Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise right now! Not

> just

> > > > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body hurts

> too

> > > > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to

> understand

> > > what

> > > > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not very

> good

> > > with

> > > > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes things to

> be

> > > even

> > > > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn, which is

> what

> > > he

> > > > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that we

> won't

> > > get

> > > > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any answers,

> it's

> > > > not like losing a job where you can just get another one to fix

> the

> > > > problem. There is no fix!

> > > > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love my

> husband

> > > so

> > > > much and I'm so tired of being sick.

> > > > I've been eating as healthy as I can, resting...what else is

> there?

> > > > Thanks for any advice.

> > > > Love, Krista

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It's on there for about $4.00. You should definitely buy that one

too. It does have alot of recipes in it.

> > > > >

> > > > > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day I've

had

> > since

> > > > > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't in

a

> > lot of

> > > > > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last couple

of

> > days,

> > > > > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just

felt so

> > bad,

> > > > > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took

one of

> > all

> > > > of

> > > > > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm just

so

> > > > > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because I've

been

> > > > > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just so

> > > > frustrated

> > > > > and scared!

> > > > > My hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel like

he

> > keeps

> > > > > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored,

so he

> > > > keeps

> > > > > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk

> > because he

> > > > > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me and

> > does not

> > > > > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am being

left

> > > > > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not get

it!

> > He

> > > > > said " I thought getting the implants out was going to take

care

> > of

> > > > > this? " I tried to tell him that I am going to need to work

at

> > it, so

> > > > > then he said " then why aren't you working at it, you aren't

> > doing

> > > > > anything. " Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he

> > says " you

> > > > need

> > > > > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make you

feel

> > > > > better. " Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise right now!

Not

> > just

> > > > > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body

hurts

> > too

> > > > > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to

> > understand

> > > > what

> > > > > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not very

> > good

> > > > with

> > > > > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes things

to

> > be

> > > > even

> > > > > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn, which

is

> > what

> > > > he

> > > > > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that we

> > won't

> > > > get

> > > > > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any

answers,

> > it's

> > > > > not like losing a job where you can just get another one to

fix

> > the

> > > > > problem. There is no fix!

> > > > > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love my

> > husband

> > > > so

> > > > > much and I'm so tired of being sick.

> > > > > I've been eating as healthy as I can, resting...what else

is

> > there?

> > > > > Thanks for any advice.

> > > > > Love, Krista

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

You girls have more energy than I do, I can even think about cooking.

I'm going to the dentist this afternoon and then going home. I can't

even function. I have left a message with at Dr. Huang's

office, this is getting ridiculous. I have never been sooo dang tired

before. I have a 50 minute commute home today. Wish me luck! I'm

going to have to talk to my boss, working is out of the question at

this point.

Cherie

> > > > >

> > > > > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day I've

had

> > since

> > > > > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't in

a

> > lot of

> > > > > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last couple

of

> > days,

> > > > > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just

felt so

> > bad,

> > > > > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took

one of

> > all

> > > > of

> > > > > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm just

so

> > > > > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because I've

been

> > > > > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just so

> > > > frustrated

> > > > > and scared!

> > > > > My hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel like

he

> > keeps

> > > > > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored,

so he

> > > > keeps

> > > > > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk

> > because he

> > > > > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me and

> > does not

> > > > > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am being

left

> > > > > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not get

it!

> > He

> > > > > said " I thought getting the implants out was going to take

care

> > of

> > > > > this? " I tried to tell him that I am going to need to work

at

> > it, so

> > > > > then he said " then why aren't you working at it, you aren't

> > doing

> > > > > anything. " Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he

> > says " you

> > > > need

> > > > > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make you

feel

> > > > > better. " Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise right now!

Not

> > just

> > > > > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body

hurts

> > too

> > > > > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to

> > understand

> > > > what

> > > > > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not very

> > good

> > > > with

> > > > > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes things

to

> > be

> > > > even

> > > > > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn, which

is

> > what

> > > > he

> > > > > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that we

> > won't

> > > > get

> > > > > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any

answers,

> > it's

> > > > > not like losing a job where you can just get another one to

fix

> > the

> > > > > problem. There is no fix!

> > > > > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love my

> > husband

> > > > so

> > > > > much and I'm so tired of being sick.

> > > > > I've been eating as healthy as I can, resting...what else

is

> > there?

> > > > > Thanks for any advice.

> > > > > Love, Krista

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Cherie- I think it is good that you are going home. Your body is not

ready for you to be back at work yet, and it sounds like it still

needs a lot more healing. I hope you are able to take this week off

too. Good luck with your 50 minute commute home (I have a 50 minute

commute too,) and your dentist appointment. Then, go home and get some

sleep. Just take as much time as you need, the job will still be there

when you are ready.

I am seeing Dr. Huang this afternoon, I'm not looking forward to the

drive into downtown. But, I'll be okay. Going to go eat some lunch now.

Love, Krista

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Hey Everyone- So, I think this probably the worst day I've

> had

> > > since

> > > > > > explant. For the first week, while I was tired, I wasn't in

> a

> > > lot of

> > > > > > pain other then the soreness in my breasts. The last couple

> of

> > > days,

> > > > > > my strange all over achiness has returned. Today I just

> felt so

> > > bad,

> > > > > > that I wanted to try anything to feel better. So, I took

> one of

> > > all

> > > > > of

> > > > > > the different vitamins I had (I know, stupid, but I'm just

> so

> > > > > > frustrated.) I think I probably took too many because I've

> been

> > > > > > feeling very nauseous for the past few hours. I am just so

> > > > > frustrated

> > > > > > and scared!

> > > > > > My hubby has been home with me all weekend, and I feel like

> he

> > > keeps

> > > > > > making excuses to leave the house. He says he just bored,

> so he

> > > > > keeps

> > > > > > going to the gym, right now he said he is going on a walk

> > > because he

> > > > > > needs to get out of the house. While I know he loves me and

> > > does not

> > > > > > want to hurt me, this does hurt me. I feel like I am being

> left

> > > > > > behind. I've tried to talk to him, but he just does not get

> it!

> > > He

> > > > > > said " I thought getting the implants out was going to take

> care

> > > of

> > > > > > this? " I tried to tell him that I am going to need to work

> at

> > > it, so

> > > > > > then he said " then why aren't you working at it, you aren't

> > > doing

> > > > > > anything. " Then I asked what he thinks I should do, he

> > > says " you

> > > > > need

> > > > > > to exercise, sitting on the couch is not going to make you

> feel

> > > > > > better. " Maybe he's right, but I CAN'T exercise right now!

> Not

> > > just

> > > > > > because I just had surgery 9 days ago but because my body

> hurts

> > > too

> > > > > > much and I feel sick all the time! How do I get him to

> > > understand

> > > > > what

> > > > > > I am going through and how he can support me? He's not very

> > > good

> > > > > with

> > > > > > handling the ups and downs of life, he really likes things

> to

> > > be

> > > > > even

> > > > > > keel and when they're not, he gets really withdrawn, which

> is

> > > what

> > > > > he

> > > > > > is doing now. I just don't know what to do. I worry that we

> > > won't

> > > > > get

> > > > > > through this because there just doesn't seem to be any

> answers,

> > > it's

> > > > > > not like losing a job where you can just get another one to

> fix

> > > the

> > > > > > problem. There is no fix!

> > > > > > I am just beyond scared and depressed right now. I love my

> > > husband

> > > > > so

> > > > > > much and I'm so tired of being sick.

> > > > > > I've been eating as healthy as I can, resting...what else

> is

> > > there?

> > > > > > Thanks for any advice.

> > > > > > Love, Krista

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>