suicide

April 8, 2004

I get up and feel better today, but still suicidal. I don't have

energy. I can't smile. All the bad things happened in my life appear

in my brain again and again...

I have followed the protocaol of Andy's. Yesterday I started another

round of chelation again. I lowered the dosage and take it more

frequently. I hope I will feel better soon, and not to hurt somebody.

I feel violent also.

Thanks for your care.

Chan.

> Did you increase the dose you are using? Are you using enough

vitamin c and vitamin e etc.? Are you using ALA every 3 hours? Or

DMSA every 4 hours? Or DMPS every 8 hours? Did you have all your

amalgam removed before you started to chelate? If you are using ALA -

did you wait for at least 3 months after amalgam removal before you

started chelation?

>

> If I was felling really bad with chelation, I would consider to

reduce the dosage, to take the chelator more frequently during the

rounds, possibly to do longer rounds and to have longer breaks in

between. I might also increase vitamin c ect.

>

> I hope find a way of feeling better again soon.

>

> All the best,

>

> Dagmar.

> [ ] Suicide

>

> Dear all,

>

> I am now on the 11 rounds of chelation. I felt so good when I had

> completed the 5 round of chelation. However, since the completion

of

> 7 round, I got so much suicidal thought. I want to committ

suicide

> now. I feel I am nothing. I am a rubbish in this world. I have

been

> poisoned with mercury chronically by the amalgam filling since I

was

> 8. It is 20 years now. I studied a lot of stuff about mercury

> poisoning symptoms. I got ALL. I have been very ill physically

and

> mentally. I have been very easily upset and embarassed. I think

very

> negatively. I now feel that eveyone hates me. I have no hope.

What

> happened to me. I know my OCD returned recently, and it is much

> stronger. What happened? Will I get better when I go on for some

> more rounds of chelation?

>

> Thanks,

> Chan.

April 8, 2004

I've just read p.52. I hope I will feel better soon. My recent life

is terrible. Can't think. Can do no job. I will try to do some work

out later.

Thanks,

Chan.

> If you will check page 52 of my book Amalgam Illness (see

> www.noamalgam.com for info on the book) you'll see you get better,

then

> worse, then better again. You did the better then worse, stick

with it

> and you'll be better again. No need to do yourself in! Just

chelate

> and do in the mercury.

>

> Inositol, 5 hydroxytryptopan, tryptophan, and SSRI antidepressants

> often help with this kind of issue. Sometimes forskolin does as

well.

> Also, chocolate does promote a normal healthy feeling of well being

and

> if you aren't a sulfur intolerant person you may wish to supplement

> your diet with a nicely therapeutic chocolate bar (dark chocolate,

read

> ingredients carefully) now and again.

>

> Andy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

>

> > Dear all,

> >

> > I am now on the 11 rounds of chelation. I felt so good when I had

> > completed the 5 round of chelation. However, since the completion

of

> > 7 round, I got so much suicidal thought. I want to committ

suicide

> > now. I feel I am nothing. I am a rubbish in this world. I have

been

> > poisoned with mercury chronically by the amalgam filling since I

was

> > 8. It is 20 years now. I studied a lot of stuff about mercury

> > poisoning symptoms. I got ALL. I have been very ill physically

and

> > mentally. I have been very easily upset and embarassed. I think

very

> > negatively. I now feel that eveyone hates me. I have no hope.

What

> > happened to me. I know my OCD returned recently, and it is much

> > stronger. What happened? Will I get better when I go on for some

> > more rounds of chelation?

>

> Yes. Better, then worse, then better. You are 2/3 of the way

there. .

> . . ..

> >

> > Thanks,

> > Chan.

April 8, 2004

Thanks for your care. I will try to live a better life.

Chan.

> > Dear all,

> >

> > I am now on the 11 rounds of chelation. I felt so good when I had

> > completed the 5 round of chelation. However, since the completion

> of

> > 7 round, I got so much suicidal thought. I want to committ

suicide

> > now. I feel I am nothing. I am a rubbish in this world. I have

been

> > poisoned with mercury chronically by the amalgam filling since I

> was

> > 8. It is 20 years now. I studied a lot of stuff about mercury

> > poisoning symptoms. I got ALL. I have been very ill physically

and

> > mentally. I have been very easily upset and embarassed. I think

> very

> > negatively. I now feel that eveyone hates me. I have no hope.

What

> > happened to me. I know my OCD returned recently, and it is much

> > stronger. What happened? Will I get better when I go on for some

> > more rounds of chelation?

> >

> > Thanks,

> > Chan.

April 9, 2004

Let me express myself.

I am now about 30. I didn't know I am a psycho until about a year

ago. Before that I felt I was just immature mentally. Now I know I

have been controlled by the mercury for 20 years. I acted like a

devil. My mood swing and selective mutism made a lot of people afriad

of me and hate me. I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to be

friendly with people. I just can't. Now I know I am crazy. I feel so

sorry for those people I've hurt before. They will not forgive me.

They hate me. But I myself a victim. What should I do? Who will

compensate for me? Who will compensate for those I've hurt? Many

times I even can't say hi to people. People think I am queer. I just

lacking self-confidence. After the completion of round 4 chelation, I

felt the world is so bright and can think positively. I felt that my

life is hopeful. But I am now depressed again. I feel crazy. My

perfectionistic-obession returned. The OCD tortured me for 20 years,

and it is now much stronger.... What will I be tomorrow?

Chan.

> Hey! You stop that right now. There's no whimping out around here.

As long as you have faith who cares what the mind thinks?

>

> Read this:

>

> 2Tm 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power,

and of love, and of a sound mind.

>

> Be strong in faith. God is still on the throne and prayer changes

things.

>

> The Epistle of to the Hebrews Chapter 11

>

> 1: Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of

things not seen.

> 2: For by it the elders obtained a good report.

> 3: Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the

word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things

which do appear.

> 4: By faith Abel offered unto God a more excellent sacrifice than

Cain, by which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God

testifying of his gifts: and by it he being dead yet speaketh.

> 5: By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and

was not found, because God had translated him: for before his

translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God.

> 6: But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that

cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of

them that diligently seek him.

> 7: By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet,

moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the

which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness

which is by faith.

> 8: By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place

which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went

out, not knowing whither he went.

> 9: By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange

country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and , the heirs with

him of the same promise:

> 10: For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder

and maker is God.

> 11: Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive

seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she

judged him faithful who had promised.

> 12: Therefore sprang there even of one, and him as good as dead, so

many as the stars of the sky in multitude, and as the sand which is

by the sea shore innumerable.

> 13: These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but

having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced

them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the

earth.

> 14: For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a

country.

> 15: And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence

they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned.

> 16: But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly:

wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath

prepared for them a city.

> 17: By faith Abraham, when he was tried, offered up Isaac: and he

that had received the promises offered up his only begotten son,

> 18: Of whom it was said, That in Isaac shall thy seed be called:

> 19: Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the

dead; from whence also he received him in a figure.

> 20: By faith Isaac blessed and Esau concerning things to come.

> 21: By faith , when he was a dying, blessed both the sons of

ph; and worshipped, leaning upon the top of his staff.

> 22: By faith ph, when he died, made mention of the departing of

the children of Israel; and gave commandment concerning his bones.

> 23: By faith Moses, when he was born, was hid three months of his

parents, because they saw he was a proper child; and they were not

afraid of the king's commandment.

> 24: By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called

the son of Pharaoh's daughter;

> 25: Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God,

than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;

> 26: Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the

treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the

reward.

> 27: By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king:

for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible.

> 28: Through faith he kept the passover, and the sprinkling of

blood, lest he that destroyed the firstborn should touch them.

> 29: By faith they passed through the Red sea as by dry land: which

the Egyptians assaying to do were drowned.

> 30: By faith the walls of Jericho fell down, after they were

compassed about seven days.

> 31: By faith the harlot Rahab perished not with them that believed

not, when she had received the spies with peace.

> 32: And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell

of Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of

also, and , and of the prophets:

> 33: Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness,

obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions,

> 34: Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword,

out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to

flight the armies of the aliens.

> 35: Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were

tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better

resurrection:

> 36: And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea,

moreover of bonds and imprisonment:

> 37: They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were

slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and

goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented;

> 38: (Of whom the world was not worthy:) they wandered in deserts,

and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.

> 39: And these all, having obtained a good report through faith,

received not the promise:

> 40: God having provided some better thing for us, that they without

us should not be made perfect.

> [ ] Suicide

>

> Dear all,

>

> I am now on the 11 rounds of chelation. I felt so good when I had

> completed the 5 round of chelation. However, since the completion

of

> 7 round, I got so much suicidal thought. I want to committ

suicide

> now. I feel I am nothing. I am a rubbish in this world. I have

been

> poisoned with mercury chronically by the amalgam filling since I

was

> 8. It is 20 years now. I studied a lot of stuff about mercury

> poisoning symptoms. I got ALL. I have been very ill physically

and

> mentally. I have been very easily upset and embarassed. I think

very

> negatively. I now feel that eveyone hates me. I have no hope.

What

> happened to me. I know my OCD returned recently, and it is much

> stronger. What happened? Will I get better when I go on for some

> more rounds of chelation?

>

> Thanks,

> Chan.

April 9, 2004

Chan,

A bunch of questions for you...How many fillings did you have? How long ago did

you have them removed? Did the dentist use proper protocol? What did he or she

replace them with? What chelating agent do you use? What dose? What schedule?

Any supplements? Did you have a hair analysis? What other metals did it show

as high? Do you know of other metal exposures? How's your diet? Do you

smoke? Do you have any tattoos? (the ink contains mercury) Have you had any

vaccines recently?

S

<tt>

Dear all,

I am now on the 11 rounds of chelation. I felt so good when I had

completed the 5 round of chelation. However, since the completion of

7 round, I got so much suicidal thought. I want to committ suicide

now. I feel I am nothing. I am a rubbish in this world. I have been

poisoned with mercury chronically by the amalgam filling since I was

8. It is 20 years now. I studied a lot of stuff about mercury

poisoning symptoms. I got ALL. I have been very ill physically and

mentally. I have been very easily upset and embarassed. I think very

negatively. I now feel that eveyone hates me. I have no hope. What

happened to me. I know my OCD returned recently, and it is much

stronger. What happened? Will I get better when I go on for some

more rounds of chelation?

Thanks,

Chan.

</tt>

<tt>

=======================================================

April 9, 2004

During this type of OCD episode, the best course of action is to

seek MEDICAL advice. First, one needs to be stabilized to calm down

the fires of OCD. For that, make an emergency appointment with a

Psychiatrist or Psychoneurologist. This should be done without

hesitation. Next, make an appointment with a good infectious

disease/internal medicine specialist [MD] and get an extensive blood

work up. Tell the physician that you have been chelating.

This is not a " pull yourself up by your bootstraps " kind of thing. I

would greatly suggest you seek medical help from an MD immediately.

Please take care...................................

> Let me express myself.

>

> I am now about 30. I didn't know I am a psycho until about a year

> ago. Before that I felt I was just immature mentally. Now I know I

> have been controlled by the mercury for 20 years. I acted like a

> devil. My mood swing and selective mutism made a lot of people

afriad

> of me and hate me. I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to be

> friendly with people. I just can't. Now I know I am crazy. I feel

so

> sorry for those people I've hurt before. They will not forgive me.

> They hate me. But I myself a victim. What should I do? Who will

> compensate for me? Who will compensate for those I've hurt? Many

> times I even can't say hi to people. People think I am queer. I

just

> lacking self-confidence. After the completion of round 4

chelation, I

> felt the world is so bright and can think positively. I felt that

my

> life is hopeful. But I am now depressed again. I feel crazy. My

> perfectionistic-obession returned. The OCD tortured me for 20

years,

> and it is now much stronger.... What will I be tomorrow?

>

> Chan.

April 9, 2004

Take care of yourself, Chan. We're all pulling for you. People care about

you!

Barb

[ ] Re: Suicide

> Thanks for your care. I will try to live a better life.

>

> Chan.

>

> > > Dear all,

> > >

> > > I am now on the 11 rounds of chelation. I felt so good when I had

> > > completed the 5 round of chelation. However, since the completion

> > of

> > > 7 round, I got so much suicidal thought. I want to committ

> suicide

> > > now. I feel I am nothing. I am a rubbish in this world. I have

> been

> > > poisoned with mercury chronically by the amalgam filling since I

> > was

> > > 8. It is 20 years now. I studied a lot of stuff about mercury

> > > poisoning symptoms. I got ALL. I have been very ill physically

> and

> > > mentally. I have been very easily upset and embarassed. I think

> > very

> > > negatively. I now feel that eveyone hates me. I have no hope.

> What

> > > happened to me. I know my OCD returned recently, and it is much

> > > stronger. What happened? Will I get better when I go on for some

> > > more rounds of chelation?

> > >

> > > Thanks,

> > > Chan.

>

> =======================================================

>

April 9, 2004

As you get the mercury out, and remineralize your body, taking rests as

needed, you will begin to feel better and better. Just be careful and go

low and slow, using all the supports Andy talks about.

Barb

[ ] Suicide

> >

> > Dear all,

> >

> > I am now on the 11 rounds of chelation. I felt so good when I had

> > completed the 5 round of chelation. However, since the completion

> of

> > 7 round, I got so much suicidal thought. I want to committ

> suicide

> > now. I feel I am nothing. I am a rubbish in this world. I have

> been

> > poisoned with mercury chronically by the amalgam filling since I

> was

> > 8. It is 20 years now. I studied a lot of stuff about mercury

> > poisoning symptoms. I got ALL. I have been very ill physically

> and

> > mentally. I have been very easily upset and embarassed. I think

> very

> > negatively. I now feel that eveyone hates me. I have no hope.

> What

> > happened to me. I know my OCD returned recently, and it is much

> > stronger. What happened? Will I get better when I go on for some

> > more rounds of chelation?

> >

> > Thanks,

> > Chan.

>

> =======================================================

>

April 9, 2004

Chan,

There is an organization called True Hope. Their we site is

www.truehope.com. They may be able to help you by at least providing a

balanced supplement. I wonder if your minerals are getting too depleted

from the chelation. Are you supplementing with a vitamin and mineral?

When you chelate you lose good minerals as well.

My sister is going through a similar situation as you. Do you have

anyone to go to for support? Please hang in there, and if you are doing

this on your own, I'd suggest that you go see an alternative doctor in

your area who can help get your chemistry balanced again. I know that

for many people with high yeast and or bacteria overgrowth, the DMSA can

be disastrous. My son had behavioral changes after just a three day

course.

If you need help finding a doctor or a support system for yourself while

you are going through this, please feel free to contact me off line.

krisyd@...

Remember that this is just a season in your life that will pass.

Kris

________________________________________________________________

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April 9, 2004

>>I acted like a

> devil. My mood swing and selective mutism made a lot of people afriad

> of me and hate me.

I was sort of the opposite, I was afraid of other people.

>> I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to be

> friendly with people. I just can't.

I can't either, so I stopped trying. I figured " why try if I will

just fail " . I don't try any more to be *friendly*, but I do try to be

*professional*. I don't care anymore if other people like me, I focus

on " not standing out in the crowd " [which can be VERY difficult].

This works for me.

>>I just

> lacking self-confidence.

I had a phone conversation yesterday with one of the partners in my

law firm. He said our clients tell him I am a very good attorney

[they like me LOL, and I am not even trying!] but I " lack

self-confidence " . I told this to a law student who I am tutoring for

the Bar Exam [he is a medical doctor who wants to be an attorney, go

figure], he laughed and said " I sure don't see lack of self-confidence

with you " .

Life is too confusing. But I will take the compliment LOL

I would not worry so much about lacking self-confidence. Try to find

something you are good at, and stick with it. For areas where you

WANT to improve, start VERY SMALL and gradually work up. I can give

you ideas on doing this, if you want. For example, I have been afraid

of people for almost my entire life. Now I am a trial attorney and I

can go into a courtroom and not collapse or cry if the judge asks me a

question that I was not anticipating. I have even argued my position

with a judge for 45 minutes [with an entire courtroom full of other

attorneys watching] and I swayed him to agree with me!

After the completion of round 4 chelation, I

> felt the world is so bright and can think positively. I felt that my

> life is hopeful. But I am now depressed again.

I have been there, I won't write much about it on a public message

board. But I can give you ideas, if you want. Send me a private

email, either by using this email address here in this message, or

send me an email from my site

http://www.danasview.net/

Basically I try to remember that life is not friendly, and neither are

people. I do the best I can, I define the word " friend " as " a person

who tolerates my presence " , and I avoid people who are against me.

Good luck.

Dana

April 9, 2004

Chan,

Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking. May be meeting with

someone from the site in person would be helpful. Sometimes things get

so rough when your going through this a lone. It is always encouraging

to hear from someone else that they have been where you are and have

pulled through. SUPPORT to so important for you right now. Please send

me more information like your phone number, and I will find someone to

help support you through this.

krisyd@...

Thanks,

Kris

________________________________________________________________

The best thing to hit the Internet in years - Juno SpeedBand!

Surf the Web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER!

Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today!

April 9, 2004