suicide

November 14, 1999

Barb (and June)

That was very well said and expressed a lot of my feelings. Good luck with

your next attempt at SS disability to both of you. Take care and know you

aren't alone, Barb you were so right, we all must think of suicide at one

time or another. And I always think of my family too. It would be such a

selfish act that would leave them angry and scarred. I don't want them to go

through that. And isn't it funny that what we once were part of " the melee

of a normal life " we want back so much, but when we had it, we wanted out.

What a difficult way to appreciate your life and who you were once. Have a

restful night, sweet dreams.

Vicki

[ ] Suicide

>From: " Barbara Fitzmaurice " <blfitzma@...>

>

>June,

>

>I think suicide has to cross all of our minds. A lot. I keep thinking of

the

>pain it would leave for my family.

>I am awaiting SSDI also. I was turned down, and all my appeals were turned

>down, and I got an attorney to re-appeal and lost all that also.

>The world seems surreal through our eyes. And we were once part of that

>maddening melee. Now we would give anything to get back in it?

>

November 15, 1999

Another way to think about this, if we pull the plug, or commit suicide, we

will miss so much, the recent protest and posts to the Boston Herald web

site show such great promise for finally getting something done about this

disease. Not to mention good times still possible with family and friends. I

for one plan to hang around as long as I can, I don't want to miss a thing!

Sometimes it all seems so hopeless, I agree, but if you wait a day or so,

something better is on the horizon. I want to hang around to see this

disease get the recognition and respect it deserves, and I KNOW it will in

my lifetime.

Hugs to all,

Never give up!

Marta NJ

>From: " Vicki & Ferraro (home) " <ferraroa@...>

>

>Barb (and June)

>

>That was very well said and expressed a lot of my feelings. Good luck with

>your next attempt at SS disability to both of you. Take care and know you

>aren't alone, Barb you were so right, we all must think of suicide at one

>time or another. And I always think of my family too. It would be such a

>selfish act that would leave them angry and scarred. I don't want them to

go

>through that. And isn't it funny that what we once were part of " the melee

>of a normal life " we want back so much, but when we had it, we wanted out.

>What a difficult way to appreciate your life and who you were once. Have a

>restful night, sweet dreams.

>Vicki

February 3, 2002

hey listen, i just joined this group and read yr post and felt like i

hope i can feel better soon...i'm in my 20's, i've really missed

them, because i've been really sick for like five years and not known

what exactly was wrong, i just didn't feel like socializing at

ALL.......anyways, will you be my friend?

> Dear Mike,

>

> For what its worth, here's what I have to say. It might be of some

> value as I am also a male in my 20s who is going through something

> very similar to you.

>

> First of all, do you tink you have candida? You didnt say so

> outright, but if you have other symptoms then its a great

> possibility, and may very well explain why no one is finding

anyhting.

>

> As for me, When it all started it was all physical, but then all of

a

> sudden, in the middle of a shopping mall, I cracked, and couldnt

stop

> crying, and thinking about taking my life. After about a week of

the

> deepest hell, I found that I couldnt eat, and at this point

realised

> that my depression had lifted ever so slightly. From there I found

a

> doctor who told me, (I HAD IT ALL OVER MY TONGUE AND HAD NEVER

KNOWN

> WHAT IT WAS) and began to treat it. It wasnt easy, but I have

> definitely improved.

>

> However, it put a very large strain on my relationship, not that

much

> in a sexual sense, but more that I required ALOT of support. In the

> end my girlfriend cheated on me, and lied to me for 6 months about

> it, but now we have worked through it, and she provides the help I

> need.

>

> Still, When I look back now, and think about the point I was at

when

> I was feeling suicidal, I am SO happy I never did anything stupid.

> See, there IS light at the end of the tunnel, what is wrong with

you

> IS physical, therefore it IS treatable, and it may be hard and

> tedious, and painful trying to find out how, but with enough

effort,

> eventually you will find somehting. PLease let us know if you have

> any other symptoms at all, as I am sure you will find everyone only

> too happy to help.

>

> Also do remember, even though your wife may not be fully suportive,

> you do have those two children, who I am sure 10 years from now

will

> be missing something major in their life if you are not there with

> them.

>

> All I can say to you mike is that This too will pass, there will

> always be problems and troubles in our lives, some great and some

> small, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they

> always fade away. Dont give up on yourself, you CAN do it, and for

> what its worth you will always have some sort of support and

answers

> here.

>

> PLease let us know how your doing

> All the best

> Alistair

October 22, 2002

I have been reading recently about omega 3 and depression, since

depression can be a problem for many of us. I hadn't heard about

Efamol EPO being used for this, but Ken just mentioned to me that

with evening primrose oil there are possible problems with

coagulation for some people. This is why it's been reported as

working for some and not for others. Alpha lipoic acid has

identical benefits but without the secondary coagulation risks for

some people.

Dealing with things that may help with depression and/or anxiety

(which could lead to suicide) is very appropriate. For example, a

recent SPECT scan was done of a cfs patient by Dr. Amen

(http://www.brainplace.com)

And because of the indication of depression in the SPECT, various

drugs were suggested, one of which is nonprescription, St. s

Wort.

I've searched on Medline, and found many references there to the

possibility that omega 3 can be helpful but it looks like the

research is just beginning on it. There was one done in Finland on

a large number of people.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?

cmd=Retrieve & db=PubMed & list_uids=11274502 & dopt=Abstract

" After the analysis adjusted for potential confounders, the

likelihood of having depressive symptoms was significantly higher

among infrequent fish consumers than among frequent consumers. "

Laurie

October 22, 2002

Laurie,

Efamol EPO is Omega 6. Are there coagulation risks associated with Omega 6? I

continue to take Alpha Lipoic Acid, Bromelain, Turmeric and Turmeric for

anti-coagulation.

Beck

llassesen wrote:

> I have been reading recently about omega 3 and depression, since

> depression can be a problem for many of us. I hadn't heard about

> Efamol EPO being used for this, but Ken just mentioned to me that

> with evening primrose oil there are possible problems with

> coagulation for some people. This is why it's been reported as

> working for some and not for others. Alpha lipoic acid has

> identical benefits but without the secondary coagulation risks for

> some people.

>

> Dealing with things that may help with depression and/or anxiety

> (which could lead to suicide) is very appropriate. For example, a

> recent SPECT scan was done of a cfs patient by Dr. Amen

>

> (http://www.brainplace.com)

>

> And because of the indication of depression in the SPECT, various

> drugs were suggested, one of which is nonprescription, St. s

> Wort.

>

> I've searched on Medline, and found many references there to the

> possibility that omega 3 can be helpful but it looks like the

> research is just beginning on it. There was one done in Finland on

> a large number of people.

>

> http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?

> cmd=Retrieve & db=PubMed & list_uids=11274502 & dopt=Abstract

>

> " After the analysis adjusted for potential confounders, the

> likelihood of having depressive symptoms was significantly higher

> among infrequent fish consumers than among frequent consumers. "

>

> Laurie

>

> This list is intended for patients to share personal experiences with each

other, not to give medical advice. If you are interested in any treatment

discussed here, please consult your doctor.

>

October 22, 2002

Hi Beck,

There are other things in evening primrose oil. With EPO, there can

be increases in fibrinogen, factor VII, von Willebrand's factor,

triglycerides, and cholesterol and a significant decrease in high-

density lipoprotein. From Medline.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?

cmd=Retrieve & db=PubMed & list_uids=11474472 & dopt=Abstract

So, it may have a negative effect for some people - which might be

offset by taking turmeric and piracetam. You said you were already

taking turmeric, and it sounds like the combination of things really

worked for you, which is wonderful! I'm encouraged to hear that you

found such a dramatic difference.

I have bouts with depression, not a rare thing with CFS, and am

interested very much in all this. With my extremely high fibrinogen

level, I can't risk the evening primrose oil myself.

Laurie

October 23, 2002

Laurie,

Thanks! The EPO has changed my life so drastically. I am literally a new

person, getting on with my life, I hope. Since last Feb have not been

depressed. But i am careful to take turmeric,

bromelain, grapeseed extract. Because i am diabetic and test several times a

day, it is easy to keep an eye on blood thickness. Oh, also, since I had that

TIA a year ago, I also take Plavix and

have had no more problems. Plus I am growing hair in places I havent had hair

in years, so I take Simpson's capillary theory to be more than nonsense. One

thing he is adamant about is the use of

Efamol, which he feels has much higher quality control and purer content.

Thanks again, BTW, I just had cholesterol and triglicerides done and they were

great. I attribute that to no sugar, virtually no carb diet. Mostly high

protein and salads.

I used the link u gave but got a dead end.

Beck

llassesen wrote:

> Hi Beck,

> There are other things in evening primrose oil. With EPO, there can

> be increases in fibrinogen, factor VII, von Willebrand's factor,

> triglycerides, and cholesterol and a significant decrease in high-

> density lipoprotein. From Medline.

>

> http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?

> cmd=Retrieve & db=PubMed & list_uids=11474472 & dopt=Abstract

>

> So, it may have a negative effect for some people - which might be

> offset by taking turmeric and piracetam. You said you were already

> taking turmeric, and it sounds like the combination of things really

> worked for you, which is wonderful! I'm encouraged to hear that you

> found such a dramatic difference.

>

> I have bouts with depression, not a rare thing with CFS, and am

> interested very much in all this. With my extremely high fibrinogen

> level, I can't risk the evening primrose oil myself.

>

> Laurie

>

> This list is intended for patients to share personal experiences with each

other, not to give medical advice. If you are interested in any treatment

discussed here, please consult your doctor.

>

October 23, 2002

In a message dated 10/23/2002 11:46:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

moores@... writes:

> I only point these issue out to indicate that

> suicide is a more complicated issue than a simple response to depression.

>

I agree, when one chooses to end his life, it is ever more complicated than

we can imagine.

But... as far as the request that we don't discuss suicide, I must beg to

differ. I understand that you don't want the list to go too far off topic...

and that this list is for treatments, not effects of the disease... I

understand, it;s your list, and you want to run it your way... BUT... if

someone is asking that we discuss it, obviously this person is in need of

support, and if we can't be there for each other, to support each other, then

what the heck is this list for, really?

So, I am proposing this... for those of us that are interested in discussion

the more emotional aspects of living with chronic illness, we can begin a

little informal mini-list. You can privately email me your addresses and I

will set it up. The only thing you will have to remember is that when you

reply, you have to hit reply all.

Thanks for listening...

Shelle in on, Michigan

GBS in 99, triggered by food poisoning

March 29, 2004

My heart is full, Jo, though I am glad you posted about Rae. Prayers are so

important, both here and in the hereafter. Thank you for being our

information angel.

Hugs and blessings,

Ann

March 30, 2004

Thanks for letting us know Jo

I cried reading her profile..I sure hope she pulls through.

Please keep us updated if you can.

And, as Jo said, please please come to us if any of you are feeling this

depression...I am happy to have anyone email me directly for support.

Hugs

Kristy

March 30, 2004

> And, as Jo said, please please come to us if any of you are

feeling this depression...I am happy to have anyone email me

directly for support.

>

> Hugs

> Kristy

===========================

Kristy...this means a lot because I know you really struggled with

depression those first months after surgery.

Hugs to a very strong young lady

Jo

March 30, 2004

Dear list family;

Jo made a comment that prompted my post: " Too bad [Rae] couldn't seek

council in her time of need. "

Unfortunately, the nature of severe depression is such that one is incapable

of seeking council when the depression reaches a critical level. The time to

seek council is long before the depression reaches suicide proportions.

Council must be sought when the MILD depression begins.

Once the decision is made to terminate one's life, there is no stopping the

act. Rae's action fits the modus opperandi of the final stages of

depression-too late for counseling to do any good.

One does not reach the final stage of depression quickly. It builds for a

very long time, beginning with a mild depression. (The type that most of us

have from time to time and say " Snap out of this! " - those " blue days " that

last longer than a day or two.) This is the time to seek counseling.

I hurt for Rae because I know how much pain she was in. I pray for Rae

because she is about to / or has begun a new chapter in her existence. I

pray for those who love her because they will feel guilt that they couldn't

prevent Rae's death-but there was no way of preventing it.

I also pray for all those who are contemplating the DS. It is not a problem

panacea. The pre-DS person will be around for ever; we do not leave that old

person in Delano.

Jim

March 30, 2004

There's a website that I keep bookmarked on my computer both at home

and work for when things get really bad (when walking in front of a

big rig seems like a good idea and a quick end to my problems). Gives

a little insight into why people consider suicide and gives links to

resources.

" If you're thinking about suicide...read this first "

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

March 30, 2004

jo, thank you for posting this. rae ann was one of the first people

i knew on the main ds list, and someone i have followed and looked up

to as a mentor through this whole process. i am truly sorry that she

was unable to find the peace she sought here, and i pray that she

finds peace and rest with Jesus.

~amy c~

March 31, 2004

Dear Jo,

Thanx for sharing this with us, and for giving us the link to get in

touch with her. I'm not sure if it did any good, but I just sent off

a little e-mail to her to thank her for sharing her story on the DS

Zone, as it has encouraged me and many others. Lots of love and

prayers for sure are going her way. Thanx Jo...Luv/Hugs...Deb

> For those who don't Float around on other list...Sadly there is a

> fellow DS sister...a Dr. Welker Patient....who last week attempted

> suicide. The word is she is in a coma with no brain activity.

>

> Rae Ann Bloomquist

> Minister

> DS Oct 6, 2000

> 356 pounds to 140

> To learn more about Rae:

>

> http://www.duodenalswitch.com/Patients/Rae/rae.html

>

> Peace be with you Rae

> Jo

March 31, 2004