Re: 5 reasons I caused his autism:

[Guest guest]

> Oh, this is so true. I was at my parents' house a while back,

> and my mom kept yelling at . She expects him to be " normal "

> so she yells when he does anything less than her expectations. I

> finally had enough and YELLED at her, " He is AUTISTIC!!!!!!

> Leave him alone! " I just totally lost it.

I don't blame you!

Matt's mother is the same way. " Now, Mikey, don't touch that...it will

break...No, no, no... " Ugh. If you don't want it broken, PICK IT UP!!!

She will not babyproof AT ALL. You would think a person who raised 5

children and now has 5 grandchildren would understand babyproofing. Actually

it is not entirely her fault; her husband is obsessed with having the

" perfect " house and gets very upset if anything is out of place. (Sound

familiar?)

Matt's friend Dave was over the other night & he was trying to get Mikey to

tell him the names of Mikey's TelleTubbies dolls he was playing with.

Stimming off of, I should say; holding them up to the light and rotating

them. Mikey kept turning his back to Dave & I wanted to tell him to lay

off...but then, Dave is another person who Just Doesn't Get It, so I thought

the experience of Mikey in Brick Wall Mode might help him understand a bit

better. Dave is always asking Matt what exactly is different about Mikey,

and when Matt tells him, Dave explains it away. " Oh that's normal, all kids

go through that. " Yeah Dave, all kids eat drywall, it's just a phase. We

should just spank him for it & he'll stop.

Speaking of spanking, I lost it last night when Mikey kept kicking me.

We've been working on having him go jump on the trampoline instead of

kicking people & he's been doing really well, but last night, no go.

Finally I swatted his foot. He laughed & held it up for me to swat it

again. *sigh* Hello, Sara, he's seeking deep pressure...Ugh. More

constructive approach: Pick him up, put him on the trampoline, and jump

with him. There ya go, hon. <bad mommy> <bad mommy> <Don't hit the kid!>

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

>

> My list of Stupid Things People Have Said Regarding Causes Of Autism:

>

> 1) Your house is too messy. If you kept your house clean he wouldn't be

> autistic.

Uh-oh. I'm in trouble. But it is fairly clean now, do you think the autism

will all go away?

> 2) You don't have a strict enough schedule. If you had him on a strict

> schedule he wouldn't be autistic.

This one is really funny since strict schedules are fit right in with

autism. Loose schedules shake 'em up a bit.

> 3) Simply EXPLAIN to your child that this is not acceptable behavior...

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha [falls off chair].

Do the words " No receptive language " mean anything to you? No? I thought

not...

> 4) Letting him co-sleep and breastfeed did him irreparable psychological

> damage.

Oh, well, that is in the messy house category. Just one question though,

co-sleeping and breastfeeding were once the norm so the cavemen were all

autistic? I mean, who would know, perhaps they were? Did wetnursing cause

autism too or is it only the actual mother's milk that has this problem?

Of course, Sara, you and I and a few others here are on an attachment

parenting list together that has a skyrocketing autism rate. Just let the

newspapers get hold of THAT.

>

> My list of Things I Actually Worry May Have Caused:

>

> 1) Poor nutrition during pregnancy.

> 2) Taking Benedryl for most of the pregnancy. This was to control nausea

> and vomiting. See #1 above.

> 3) Pre-eclampsia, which can cause the placenta to function poorly.

Direct

> result of #1 (or #2, depending on your point of view...)

> 4) Induced labor with lots of drugs; direct result of #3.

Bah. I had excellent nutrition with Putter, I took no drugs, my pregnancy

was great and my labor and delivery were generally great. And Putter is, I

think, MORE autistic than Mikey. So there!

>

> Now all of us know that we did the best we could with what we had, and all

> of us are doing our best now, so we should all throw the whole guilt trip

> out the window and stop worrying about it, because there's nothing we can

do

> about what's in the past anyway, unless it's try to learn from it. Right?

GREAT statement!

Salli

[Guest guest]

>

> Matt's mother is the same way. " Now, Mikey, don't touch that...it will

> break...No, no, no... " Ugh. If you don't want it broken, PICK IT UP!!!

You know, so many people who've had kids do that little 'explaination'

thing.... " don't go on the roof, you'll fall and hurt yourself, " that I guess

maybe that DOES work for NT kids. It must -- why else do they keep doing it???

> and when Matt tells him, Dave explains it away. " Oh that's normal, all kids

> go through that. " Yeah Dave, all kids eat drywall, it's just a phase. We

> should just spank him for it & he'll stop.

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That;s the nastiest phrase in the english language. It makes the hair on my

neck stand up.

>

> Speaking of spanking, I lost it last night when Mikey kept kicking me.

> We've been working on having him go jump on the trampoline instead of

> kicking people & he's been doing really well, but last night, no go.

> Finally I swatted his foot. He laughed & held it up for me to swat it

> again. *sigh* Hello, Sara, he's seeking deep pressure...Ugh. More

> constructive approach: Pick him up, put him on the trampoline, and jump

> with him. There ya go, hon. <bad mommy> <bad mommy> <Don't hit the kid!>

LOL. (((hugs)))

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>

> 3) Simply EXPLAIN to your child that this is not acceptable behavior...

>

> -----ok. duh

So simple really. Why didn't we all think of this?

>

> 4) Letting him co-sleep and breastfeed did him irreparable psychological

> damage.

>

> -----Oh!! So doing natural, motherly nurturing hurts a child?

Penny, PENNY! Didn't you know that? And I thought you had so much common

sense.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> Oh, well, that is in the messy house category. Just one question though,

> co-sleeping and breastfeeding were once the norm so the cavemen were all

> autistic? I mean, who would know, perhaps they were? Did wetnursing cause

> autism too or is it only the actual mother's milk that has this problem?

Don't forget JAPAN!!!! I guess Japanese kids must be all autistic as well...

[Guest guest]

> None of this was intentional and other than not breastfeeding with the

> antibiotics there was not much that I could have done differently. But I

> still do think about it.

Tamara:

You CAN breastfeed with antibiotics. Millions of mothers have done it and

had NT kids. That list of genetic problems that you mentioned is the most

likely culprit.

Salli

[Guest guest]

Which is why it hurts when

> people say bone-headed things like " You coddle him,

> that's why he Autistic. "

>

Seems a pity that we can't slap people in the face for remarks like this.

There oughta be a law that says, " When people make really really dim-witted

and totally stupid remarks it is your duty as an American citizen (or

Canadian, or British, or Australian, fill in your own blanks) to slap that

person right upside the head.

Salli, a normally non-violent person

[Guest guest]

>>>Like my brother's girlfriend who went to the University of I Think I Know

Everything.<<<<

Tracey

I love it...That's funny Tracey (not the comments the University

part....lol)

Penny :-)

One of my personal fav's - " She'll be fine once she goes to school " ...or

" She's just quiet " .

whatever

[Guest guest]

>>>> She told me that

one of her kids had been a biter when small, and the solution was

to " just spank him really hard " . I explained that had a

disability...and she started in with, " You know, I think of Helen

Keller; how all she needed was a little discipline... " <<<<<

I wouldn't even justify that comment with a response.

World is full of stupid people...yes it is.

Penny

[Guest guest]

>>> " Oh that's normal, all kids

go through that. " Yeah Dave, all kids eat drywall, it's just a phase. We

should just spank him for it & he'll stop.<<<

Does " Dave " have any children???

Penny - who's heard the phrase way too often.

[Guest guest]

> 4) Letting him co-sleep and breastfeed did him irreparable psychological

> damage.

>

> -----Oh!! So doing natural, motherly nurturing hurts a child?

Penny, PENNY! Didn't you know that? And I thought you had so much common

sense.

Salli

-----------

Yeah, go figure. Lost my head.

Penny ;-)

[Guest guest]

> so the cavemen were all autistic? <

well, they did have HORRIBLE speech problems and they LOVED to draw on walls

" Help! Jane! Stop this crazy thing! " - Jetson

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> Finally I swatted his foot. He laughed & held it up for me to swat it

> again. *sigh* Hello, Sara, he's seeking deep pressure...Ugh. More

> constructive approach: Pick him up, put him on the trampoline, and jump

> with him. There ya go, hon. <bad mommy> <bad mommy> <Don't hit the

kid!>

>

> -Sara.

Sara,

I don't think I'd call that a spanking. For deep pressure when he doesn't

want to go jump on the trampoline, try rolling on top of him and use as much

weight as he seems to like. and love for me to lay on

them...this is how we first figured out that needed more done for him

than he was getting in OT.

Sue

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[Guest guest]

> >>> " Oh that's normal, all kids

> go through that. " Yeah Dave, all kids eat drywall, it's just a phase. We

> should just spank him for it & he'll stop.<<<

>

> Does " Dave " have any children???

2 girls & a boy, 7, 5, & 3.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

This one has always been my favorite...

" You just aren't a good enough parent. "

Moretuna wrote:

>5 reasons I caused his autism:

>

> " You're not strict enough "

> " He doesn't eat enough vegetables "

> " He should have more hours in school "

> " He should have less hours in school "

>

>and my favorite:

>

> " If you had put him in daycare instead of staying home

>with him, he'd be normal now "

>

>Tuna ... feeling the need to hit something

>

>=====

> " Normal is just a setting on the washing machine. "

> Whoopi Goldberg

>

>______________________________________________________

>Send your holiday cheer with http://greetings.yahoo.ca

>

--

...

Mom to:

, 3, Pro-Wrestler in hiding

, 1, Opera Soprano in-the-making

Missing those beautifully wonderful babies. Without them, the Sun has left my

universe.

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[Guest guest]

> > so the cavemen were all autistic? <

>

> well, they did have HORRIBLE speech problems and they LOVED to draw on

walls

>

Wow, , now explain the Japanese for Jacquie...hmm, well, Putter has

trouble with English and so do the Japanese so I guess, HEY, they ARE

autistic!

Salli

[Guest guest]

> so the cavemen were all autistic? <

> well, they did have HORRIBLE speech problems and they LOVED to draw on walls <

> Wow, , now explain the Japanese for Jacquie...hmm, well, Putter has

trouble with English and so do the Japanese so I guess, HEY, they ARE autistic!

Salli <

that one's easy too...mercury poisoning!

" Help! Jane! Stop this crazy thing! " - Jetson

[Guest guest]

> > Does " Dave " have any children???

>

> 2 girls & a boy, 7, 5, & 3.

Probably leaves the parenting to his wife and he just does the talking.

Actually even if he is a great and involved father, he does NOT know what

you are going through.

And the problem with autism is that, yes, many small children so some

autistic things some of the time. But autistic children do those things

more often and more intensively and much more oddly.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> This one has always been my favorite...

>

> " You just aren't a good enough parent. "

>

Clearly none of us are!

Salli

[Guest guest]

Well I hate to admit it, but I used to be one of those

people who would say " when I have kids, mine will not

act like that " ! Boy am I ever eating my words!

Ginger

--- taybrynn wrote:

> Why are people with only nt children so quick to

> blame the parents as

> the cause of the autism? Is it because they don't

> know anything about

> autism? If so, then they should just keep their

> mouths shut & not

> spout off about a subject they know nothing about. I

> hate when

> someone gives me a malicious comment or stupid

> suggestion & they

> don't have a freakin clue what they are talking

> about. Like my

> brother's girlfriend who went to the University of I

> Think I Know

> Everything.

>

> Tracey

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thanks Salli! There's just so much talk about antibiotics causing the yeast

build up, which she definetely has, and that causing the leaky gut and that

causing the autism....sometimes you just think maybe if I hadn't done this

or that..... Well, you know how it is.

Tamara

----Original Message Follows----

Reply-To: parenting_autism

To: <parenting_autism >

Subject: Re: 5 reasons I caused his autism:

Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2002 12:21:16 -0500

> None of this was intentional and other than not breastfeeding with the

> antibiotics there was not much that I could have done differently. But I

> still do think about it.

Tamara:

You CAN breastfeed with antibiotics. Millions of mothers have done it and

had NT kids. That list of genetic problems that you mentioned is the most

likely culprit.

Salli

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[Guest guest]

> > well, they did have HORRIBLE speech problems and they LOVED to draw on walls

<

>

> > Wow, , now explain the Japanese for Jacquie...hmm, well, Putter has

trouble with English and so do the Japanese so I guess, HEY, they ARE autistic!

>

> Salli <

>

>

> that one's easy too...mercury poisoning!

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

> Well I hate to admit it, but I used to be one of those

> people who would say " when I have kids, mine will not

> act like that " !

Geez, Ginger, who wasn't? :-)

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

I'd support that law.

Tuna

P.S. There was a comedian hwo said that stupid be

should have to wear signs so the rest of us would know

to stay away from them. Sounds like a good idea to

me.

--- bunnytiner wrote:

There oughta be a law that says, " When people make

really really dim-witted and totally stupid remarks it

is your duty as an American citizen (or Canadian, or

British, or Australian, fill in your own blanks) to

slap that person right upside the head. "

Salli, a normally non-violent person

=====

" Normal is just a setting on the washing machine. "

Whoopi Goldberg

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[Guest guest]

I read a Russian proverb today that reminded me of this thread:

" A full stomach likes to preach about fasting. "

I thought it was *perfect*.

Jacquie