Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 Kassiane, becoming a mother changed me completely, in ways I never imagined nor could have predicted. I've eaten so many words that I spoke before motherhood that I've lost count. I think that's what the comment was about when you were asked if you are a mother. It's not about opinions not being welcome. It's about perspective. You are PURE GOLD to us as far as the WEIGHT of your opinion, because you speak from a perspective that most of us are trying to gain, and that's to walk in the shoes, see through the eyes of our daughters. Your comments, opinions, strong positions have also changed me. We are all works in progress. No one meant any offense or disrespect. We appreciate you. PennY > > You're trying to say MY opinions arent welcome because IM not a mom. > > Kassiane > sick of the double standard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 Nope, that's not it at all. It's saying regardless of what label you have and what label I have, having a child completely changes one's outlook. Before I had kids I thought I knew it all & could tell everyone how to be the perfect mom, largely based on how I felt about how my own mother treated me. I remembered how it felt being a kid. But, once I had kids, it was just like the commercial when someone says, " An entire room in my heart opened up. " It's impossible to explain and has nothing to do with who has what label, it's how perspectives are different. My pastor used to talk about a sermon someone did before he had kids called " 10 ways to raise the perfect child " but after having kids the sermon changed to " 2 or 3 ways that might possibly help... " I don't think that pastor had a dx, he just experienced having a kid. It's not called a miracle of childbirth because of the physical process, although that's part of it. It's more because of the internal changes in one's spirit. Sure, parents still screw up royally because we're human, just like kids screw up royally because they're human. My SIL has been upset at her 18 yr old son for not coming with her to church, he's pretty much turned his back on the faith she's tried to raise him in. From my perspective of remembering being 18, I thought she should lighten up on the kid, accept it & move on. But then I started imagining how I would feel if one of my kids gave the faith a middle finger. I want them so desperately to know the Love of Christ. I suddenly realized what she was experiencing, not because I was trying to understand her perspective, but because I experience her perspective. Before having kids I never would have comprehended this particular issue, or the thousands more like it. Until that room is opened, it's a guessing game what it really feels like or causes one to do. It has nothing to do with label, it's the miracle of childbirth. At the same time, you have a great, EQUAL perspective of how it feels to have autism. Until we've had autism, we cannot fully comprehend the perspective. However, being a parent can afford a mom a glimpse in that moms tend to feel what the kids feel. When Jess comes home & tells me about having an argument with a friend, I feel it 10 times more than her. How do I know? She's over it in a few hours, I'm still angry and the person weeks later. She learns from her experience & moves on, my heart still aches that someone was mean to her and that she had to experience it. She wants to cry and tell the person how it made her feel, I want to give the kid a spanking, go beat up the kids' parents for raising a brat, and then scream & curse a little. That's the mamma lion in me wanting to protect my cubbies. I know I can't behave that way, but that's how it feels. How much more so when we see our kids get sick. We want to seek out, destroy into oblivion any possible thing that could ever, ever, ever, ever harm our kids. We are blinded by this invisible force to protect our kids so much so that we often fear letting our kids live life. I accept that from you that you have a unique perspective that I cannot fully comprehend because I don't have autism, just as you need to accept you cannot fully comprehend being a parent because you aren't. Debi -- In Autism_in_Girls , Kassi wrote: > > You're trying to say MY opinions arent welcome because > IM not a mom. > > That's not fair. You KNOW that isn't fair. The appeal > to emotions is the NT female (usually female) way of > saying " I was unfair but want people to think Im the > good guy anyway, feel sorry for me because Im a MOM > with an AUTISTIC KID and am SAYING I was trying to be > the bigger person even if I WASNT " . > > I've been in enough of these discussions to know this > stuff. The " are you a mom? " thing has LESS relevence > than " are you autistic? " > > Kassiane > sick of the double standard > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 Nope, that's not it at all. It's saying regardless of what label you have and what label I have, having a child completely changes one's outlook. Before I had kids I thought I knew it all & could tell everyone how to be the perfect mom, largely based on how I felt about how my own mother treated me. I remembered how it felt being a kid. But, once I had kids, it was just like the commercial when someone says, " An entire room in my heart opened up. " It's impossible to explain and has nothing to do with who has what label, it's how perspectives are different. My pastor used to talk about a sermon someone did before he had kids called " 10 ways to raise the perfect child " but after having kids the sermon changed to " 2 or 3 ways that might possibly help... " I don't think that pastor had a dx, he just experienced having a kid. It's not called a miracle of childbirth because of the physical process, although that's part of it. It's more because of the internal changes in one's spirit. Sure, parents still screw up royally because we're human, just like kids screw up royally because they're human. My SIL has been upset at her 18 yr old son for not coming with her to church, he's pretty much turned his back on the faith she's tried to raise him in. From my perspective of remembering being 18, I thought she should lighten up on the kid, accept it & move on. But then I started imagining how I would feel if one of my kids gave the faith a middle finger. I want them so desperately to know the Love of Christ. I suddenly realized what she was experiencing, not because I was trying to understand her perspective, but because I experience her perspective. Before having kids I never would have comprehended this particular issue, or the thousands more like it. Until that room is opened, it's a guessing game what it really feels like or causes one to do. It has nothing to do with label, it's the miracle of childbirth. At the same time, you have a great, EQUAL perspective of how it feels to have autism. Until we've had autism, we cannot fully comprehend the perspective. However, being a parent can afford a mom a glimpse in that moms tend to feel what the kids feel. When Jess comes home & tells me about having an argument with a friend, I feel it 10 times more than her. How do I know? She's over it in a few hours, I'm still angry and the person weeks later. She learns from her experience & moves on, my heart still aches that someone was mean to her and that she had to experience it. She wants to cry and tell the person how it made her feel, I want to give the kid a spanking, go beat up the kids' parents for raising a brat, and then scream & curse a little. That's the mamma lion in me wanting to protect my cubbies. I know I can't behave that way, but that's how it feels. How much more so when we see our kids get sick. We want to seek out, destroy into oblivion any possible thing that could ever, ever, ever, ever harm our kids. We are blinded by this invisible force to protect our kids so much so that we often fear letting our kids live life. I accept that from you that you have a unique perspective that I cannot fully comprehend because I don't have autism, just as you need to accept you cannot fully comprehend being a parent because you aren't. Debi -- In Autism_in_Girls , Kassi wrote: > > You're trying to say MY opinions arent welcome because > IM not a mom. > > That's not fair. You KNOW that isn't fair. The appeal > to emotions is the NT female (usually female) way of > saying " I was unfair but want people to think Im the > good guy anyway, feel sorry for me because Im a MOM > with an AUTISTIC KID and am SAYING I was trying to be > the bigger person even if I WASNT " . > > I've been in enough of these discussions to know this > stuff. The " are you a mom? " thing has LESS relevence > than " are you autistic? " > > Kassiane > sick of the double standard > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 I already know Im not a mom. Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as though you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being a mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know what that feels like. Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as to when what they are doing isn't best (as do all humans) and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if anything, makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in holy water to " bring back the real child " were a great idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. Kassiane, raised as though she were posessed or a changeling or both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know all --- Debi wrote: > Nope, that's not it at all. It's saying regardless > of what label you > have and what label I have, having a child > completely changes one's > outlook. Before I had kids I thought I knew it all & > could tell > everyone how to be the perfect mom, largely based on > how I felt about > how my own mother treated me. I remembered how it > felt being a kid. > But, once I had kids, it was just like the > commercial when someone > says, " An entire room in my heart opened up. " It's > impossible to > explain and has nothing to do with who has what > label, it's how > perspectives are different. > > My pastor used to talk about a sermon someone did > before he had kids > called " 10 ways to raise the perfect child " but > after having kids the > sermon changed to " 2 or 3 ways that might possibly > help... " I don't > think that pastor had a dx, he just experienced > having a kid. It's not > called a miracle of childbirth because of the > physical process, > although that's part of it. It's more because of the > internal changes > in one's spirit. Sure, parents still screw up > royally because we're > human, just like kids screw up royally because > they're human. > > My SIL has been upset at her 18 yr old son for not > coming with her to > church, he's pretty much turned his back on the > faith she's tried to > raise him in. From my perspective of remembering > being 18, I thought > she should lighten up on the kid, accept it & move > on. But then I > started imagining how I would feel if one of my kids > gave the faith a > middle finger. I want them so desperately to know > the Love of Christ. > I suddenly realized what she was experiencing, not > because I was > trying to understand her perspective, but because I > experience her > perspective. Before having kids I never would have > comprehended this > particular issue, or the thousands more like it. > Until that room is > opened, it's a guessing game what it really feels > like or causes one > to do. > > It has nothing to do with label, it's the miracle of > childbirth. > > At the same time, you have a great, EQUAL > perspective of how it feels > to have autism. Until we've had autism, we cannot > fully comprehend the > perspective. > > However, being a parent can afford a mom a glimpse > in that moms tend > to feel what the kids feel. When Jess comes home & > tells me about > having an argument with a friend, I feel it 10 times > more than her. > How do I know? She's over it in a few hours, I'm > still angry and the > person weeks later. She learns from her experience & > moves on, my > heart still aches that someone was mean to her and > that she had to > experience it. She wants to cry and tell the person > how it made her > feel, I want to give the kid a spanking, go beat up > the kids' parents > for raising a brat, and then scream & curse a > little. That's the mamma > lion in me wanting to protect my cubbies. I know I > can't behave that > way, but that's how it feels. How much more so when > we see our kids > get sick. We want to seek out, destroy into oblivion > any possible > thing that could ever, ever, ever, ever harm our > kids. We are blinded > by this invisible force to protect our kids so much > so that we often > fear letting our kids live life. > > I accept that from you that you have a unique > perspective that I > cannot fully comprehend because I don't have autism, > just as you need > to accept you cannot fully comprehend being a parent > because you aren't. > > Debi > > -- In Autism_in_Girls , Kassi > > wrote: > > > > You're trying to say MY opinions arent welcome > because > > IM not a mom. > > > > That's not fair. You KNOW that isn't fair. The > appeal > > to emotions is the NT female (usually female) way > of > > saying " I was unfair but want people to think Im > the > > good guy anyway, feel sorry for me because Im a > MOM > > with an AUTISTIC KID and am SAYING I was trying to > be > > the bigger person even if I WASNT " . > > > > I've been in enough of these discussions to know > this > > stuff. The " are you a mom? " thing has LESS > relevence > > than " are you autistic? " > > > > Kassiane > > sick of the double standard > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page. http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 I already know Im not a mom. Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as though you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being a mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know what that feels like. Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as to when what they are doing isn't best (as do all humans) and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if anything, makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in holy water to " bring back the real child " were a great idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. Kassiane, raised as though she were posessed or a changeling or both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know all --- Debi wrote: > Nope, that's not it at all. It's saying regardless > of what label you > have and what label I have, having a child > completely changes one's > outlook. Before I had kids I thought I knew it all & > could tell > everyone how to be the perfect mom, largely based on > how I felt about > how my own mother treated me. I remembered how it > felt being a kid. > But, once I had kids, it was just like the > commercial when someone > says, " An entire room in my heart opened up. " It's > impossible to > explain and has nothing to do with who has what > label, it's how > perspectives are different. > > My pastor used to talk about a sermon someone did > before he had kids > called " 10 ways to raise the perfect child " but > after having kids the > sermon changed to " 2 or 3 ways that might possibly > help... " I don't > think that pastor had a dx, he just experienced > having a kid. It's not > called a miracle of childbirth because of the > physical process, > although that's part of it. It's more because of the > internal changes > in one's spirit. Sure, parents still screw up > royally because we're > human, just like kids screw up royally because > they're human. > > My SIL has been upset at her 18 yr old son for not > coming with her to > church, he's pretty much turned his back on the > faith she's tried to > raise him in. From my perspective of remembering > being 18, I thought > she should lighten up on the kid, accept it & move > on. But then I > started imagining how I would feel if one of my kids > gave the faith a > middle finger. I want them so desperately to know > the Love of Christ. > I suddenly realized what she was experiencing, not > because I was > trying to understand her perspective, but because I > experience her > perspective. Before having kids I never would have > comprehended this > particular issue, or the thousands more like it. > Until that room is > opened, it's a guessing game what it really feels > like or causes one > to do. > > It has nothing to do with label, it's the miracle of > childbirth. > > At the same time, you have a great, EQUAL > perspective of how it feels > to have autism. Until we've had autism, we cannot > fully comprehend the > perspective. > > However, being a parent can afford a mom a glimpse > in that moms tend > to feel what the kids feel. When Jess comes home & > tells me about > having an argument with a friend, I feel it 10 times > more than her. > How do I know? She's over it in a few hours, I'm > still angry and the > person weeks later. She learns from her experience & > moves on, my > heart still aches that someone was mean to her and > that she had to > experience it. She wants to cry and tell the person > how it made her > feel, I want to give the kid a spanking, go beat up > the kids' parents > for raising a brat, and then scream & curse a > little. That's the mamma > lion in me wanting to protect my cubbies. I know I > can't behave that > way, but that's how it feels. How much more so when > we see our kids > get sick. We want to seek out, destroy into oblivion > any possible > thing that could ever, ever, ever, ever harm our > kids. We are blinded > by this invisible force to protect our kids so much > so that we often > fear letting our kids live life. > > I accept that from you that you have a unique > perspective that I > cannot fully comprehend because I don't have autism, > just as you need > to accept you cannot fully comprehend being a parent > because you aren't. > > Debi > > -- In Autism_in_Girls , Kassi > > wrote: > > > > You're trying to say MY opinions arent welcome > because > > IM not a mom. > > > > That's not fair. You KNOW that isn't fair. The > appeal > > to emotions is the NT female (usually female) way > of > > saying " I was unfair but want people to think Im > the > > good guy anyway, feel sorry for me because Im a > MOM > > with an AUTISTIC KID and am SAYING I was trying to > be > > the bigger person even if I WASNT " . > > > > I've been in enough of these discussions to know > this > > stuff. The " are you a mom? " thing has LESS > relevence > > than " are you autistic? " > > > > Kassiane > > sick of the double standard > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page. http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 Kassi, my heart breaks when I read about your childhood and your relationship with your mother. Your mom was probably overwhelmed--triplets are a handful--and she may not have had enough help and support to do everything the " right " way the way she wanted to, and her words and actions wereall about HER and not you (although a little child would not understand that). You do understand, in your heart and in your intellect, don't you, that YOU are NOT broken! The original comment/post was about how we moms worry about our children, it implied how much those of us who are mothers changed the moment we became moms (people told me I couldn't imagine, and I thought they were crazy, because I thought I COULD INDEED imagine, but in my wildest imagination, I couldn't even come close to what it's really like) and you haven't yet had that experience of feeling responsible and protective in the way that blossoms when we become mothers. I think we moms have a stronger gut instinct than the blind spots, although you're right, there are blind spots, and one of the reasons WE are HERE is to help one another identify those blind spots. Please don't paint all moms through the brush strokes you experienced with your own mother, don't view us all through that lens. We wouldn't be here listening to your experience if we didn't want to avoid mistakes others made, and the absolute last thing I want to do is give any of my children the idea that they are broken and are mistakes. YOU have spotlighted for me the fine line between intervention/education in the right way while supporting and growing who my daughter (with asd) is, as opposed to intervention that might give her the idea that there's something " wrong " with the way she is. Sometimes we parents feel like we're being condemned by the ND community for whatEVER we do or ask. I'm interested in support, direction, illumination of the advocacy and intervention pathways, not condemnation for wanting to help my children be the best they can be. PennY > > I already know Im not a mom. > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as though > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being a > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > what that feels like. > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as to > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all humans) > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if anything, > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in holy > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > Kassiane, > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling or > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 Kassi, my heart breaks when I read about your childhood and your relationship with your mother. Your mom was probably overwhelmed--triplets are a handful--and she may not have had enough help and support to do everything the " right " way the way she wanted to, and her words and actions wereall about HER and not you (although a little child would not understand that). You do understand, in your heart and in your intellect, don't you, that YOU are NOT broken! The original comment/post was about how we moms worry about our children, it implied how much those of us who are mothers changed the moment we became moms (people told me I couldn't imagine, and I thought they were crazy, because I thought I COULD INDEED imagine, but in my wildest imagination, I couldn't even come close to what it's really like) and you haven't yet had that experience of feeling responsible and protective in the way that blossoms when we become mothers. I think we moms have a stronger gut instinct than the blind spots, although you're right, there are blind spots, and one of the reasons WE are HERE is to help one another identify those blind spots. Please don't paint all moms through the brush strokes you experienced with your own mother, don't view us all through that lens. We wouldn't be here listening to your experience if we didn't want to avoid mistakes others made, and the absolute last thing I want to do is give any of my children the idea that they are broken and are mistakes. YOU have spotlighted for me the fine line between intervention/education in the right way while supporting and growing who my daughter (with asd) is, as opposed to intervention that might give her the idea that there's something " wrong " with the way she is. Sometimes we parents feel like we're being condemned by the ND community for whatEVER we do or ask. I'm interested in support, direction, illumination of the advocacy and intervention pathways, not condemnation for wanting to help my children be the best they can be. PennY > > I already know Im not a mom. > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as though > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being a > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > what that feels like. > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as to > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all humans) > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if anything, > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in holy > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > Kassiane, > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling or > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 hi my name is kristi and i have an autistic 3yr old and a typical 1 and a half yr old she was vaccinated and he has not been i would not have vaccinated even if i had another girl i think they have alot to do with autism along with other factors .should i ever vaccinate my son? penelope_fam wrote: Kassi, my heart breaks when I read about your childhood and your relationship with your mother. Your mom was probably overwhelmed--triplets are a handful--and she may not have had enough help and support to do everything the " right " way the way she wanted to, and her words and actions wereall about HER and not you (although a little child would not understand that). You do understand, in your heart and in your intellect, don't you, that YOU are NOT broken! The original comment/post was about how we moms worry about our children, it implied how much those of us who are mothers changed the moment we became moms (people told me I couldn't imagine, and I thought they were crazy, because I thought I COULD INDEED imagine, but in my wildest imagination, I couldn't even come close to what it's really like) and you haven't yet had that experience of feeling responsible and protective in the way that blossoms when we become mothers. I think we moms have a stronger gut instinct than the blind spots, although you're right, there are blind spots, and one of the reasons WE are HERE is to help one another identify those blind spots. Please don't paint all moms through the brush strokes you experienced with your own mother, don't view us all through that lens. We wouldn't be here listening to your experience if we didn't want to avoid mistakes others made, and the absolute last thing I want to do is give any of my children the idea that they are broken and are mistakes. YOU have spotlighted for me the fine line between intervention/education in the right way while supporting and growing who my daughter (with asd) is, as opposed to intervention that might give her the idea that there's something " wrong " with the way she is. Sometimes we parents feel like we're being condemned by the ND community for whatEVER we do or ask. I'm interested in support, direction, illumination of the advocacy and intervention pathways, not condemnation for wanting to help my children be the best they can be. PennY > > I already know Im not a mom. > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as though > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being a > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > what that feels like. > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as to > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all humans) > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if anything, > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in holy > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > Kassiane, > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling or > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 hi my name is kristi and i have an autistic 3yr old and a typical 1 and a half yr old she was vaccinated and he has not been i would not have vaccinated even if i had another girl i think they have alot to do with autism along with other factors .should i ever vaccinate my son? penelope_fam wrote: Kassi, my heart breaks when I read about your childhood and your relationship with your mother. Your mom was probably overwhelmed--triplets are a handful--and she may not have had enough help and support to do everything the " right " way the way she wanted to, and her words and actions wereall about HER and not you (although a little child would not understand that). You do understand, in your heart and in your intellect, don't you, that YOU are NOT broken! The original comment/post was about how we moms worry about our children, it implied how much those of us who are mothers changed the moment we became moms (people told me I couldn't imagine, and I thought they were crazy, because I thought I COULD INDEED imagine, but in my wildest imagination, I couldn't even come close to what it's really like) and you haven't yet had that experience of feeling responsible and protective in the way that blossoms when we become mothers. I think we moms have a stronger gut instinct than the blind spots, although you're right, there are blind spots, and one of the reasons WE are HERE is to help one another identify those blind spots. Please don't paint all moms through the brush strokes you experienced with your own mother, don't view us all through that lens. We wouldn't be here listening to your experience if we didn't want to avoid mistakes others made, and the absolute last thing I want to do is give any of my children the idea that they are broken and are mistakes. YOU have spotlighted for me the fine line between intervention/education in the right way while supporting and growing who my daughter (with asd) is, as opposed to intervention that might give her the idea that there's something " wrong " with the way she is. Sometimes we parents feel like we're being condemned by the ND community for whatEVER we do or ask. I'm interested in support, direction, illumination of the advocacy and intervention pathways, not condemnation for wanting to help my children be the best they can be. PennY > > I already know Im not a mom. > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as though > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being a > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > what that feels like. > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as to > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all humans) > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if anything, > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in holy > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > Kassiane, > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling or > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 PennY, As far as my mom is concerned, I AM broken, she did everything right, and I am just too damn stubborn to take HER feelings into account and stop being autistic. She didn't ask for help, just more holy water. I grew up feeling broken, damaged, and incredibly jaded. When I found out about oxytocin and childbirth I actually thought for a few years that it made women crazy (and revised my theory a few years later but it was the ONLY way to explain my mother. Besides, I was 15 and she was STILL CRAZY). And I don't want that for any kid. My mother is probably genuinely off her rocker--she didn't ask for help, didn't TAKE it when it was offered, nothing. It'd be even worse for a kid who was very much cherished and loved and it was an ACCIDENT that the child grew up feeling that way. At least my mom " meant it that way " , if that makes sense. Kassiane --- penelope_fam wrote: > > Kassi, my heart breaks when I read about your > childhood and your > relationship with your mother. Your mom was > probably > overwhelmed--triplets are a handful--and she may not > have had enough > help and support to do everything the " right " way > the way she wanted to, > and her words and actions wereall about HER and not > you (although a > little child would not understand that). You do > understand, in your > heart and in your intellect, don't you, that YOU are > NOT broken! > > The original comment/post was about how we moms > worry about our > children, it implied how much those of us who are > mothers changed the > moment we became moms (people told me I couldn't > imagine, and I thought > they were crazy, because I thought I COULD INDEED > imagine, but in my > wildest imagination, I couldn't even come close to > what it's really > like) and you haven't yet had that experience of > feeling responsible and > protective in the way that blossoms when we become > mothers. > > I think we moms have a stronger gut instinct than > the blind spots, > although you're right, there are blind spots, and > one of the reasons WE > are HERE is to help one another identify those blind > spots. > > Please don't paint all moms through the brush > strokes you experienced > with your own mother, don't view us all through that > lens. We wouldn't > be here listening to your experience if we didn't > want to avoid mistakes > others made, and the absolute last thing I want to > do is give any of my > children the idea that they are broken and are > mistakes. YOU have > spotlighted for me the fine line between > intervention/education in the > right way while supporting and growing who my > daughter (with asd) is, as > opposed to intervention that might give her the idea > that there's > something " wrong " with the way she is. > > Sometimes we parents feel like we're being condemned > by the ND community > for whatEVER we do or ask. I'm interested in > support, direction, > illumination of the advocacy and intervention > pathways, not condemnation > for wanting to help my children be the best they can > be. > > PennY > > > > > > > I already know Im not a mom. > > > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as > though > > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being > a > > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > > what that feels like. > > > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as > to > > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all > humans) > > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if > anything, > > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in > holy > > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > > > Kassiane, > > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling > or > > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know > all > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better pen pal. Text or chat with friends inside Yahoo! Mail. See how. http://overview.mail.yahoo.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 PennY, As far as my mom is concerned, I AM broken, she did everything right, and I am just too damn stubborn to take HER feelings into account and stop being autistic. She didn't ask for help, just more holy water. I grew up feeling broken, damaged, and incredibly jaded. When I found out about oxytocin and childbirth I actually thought for a few years that it made women crazy (and revised my theory a few years later but it was the ONLY way to explain my mother. Besides, I was 15 and she was STILL CRAZY). And I don't want that for any kid. My mother is probably genuinely off her rocker--she didn't ask for help, didn't TAKE it when it was offered, nothing. It'd be even worse for a kid who was very much cherished and loved and it was an ACCIDENT that the child grew up feeling that way. At least my mom " meant it that way " , if that makes sense. Kassiane --- penelope_fam wrote: > > Kassi, my heart breaks when I read about your > childhood and your > relationship with your mother. Your mom was > probably > overwhelmed--triplets are a handful--and she may not > have had enough > help and support to do everything the " right " way > the way she wanted to, > and her words and actions wereall about HER and not > you (although a > little child would not understand that). You do > understand, in your > heart and in your intellect, don't you, that YOU are > NOT broken! > > The original comment/post was about how we moms > worry about our > children, it implied how much those of us who are > mothers changed the > moment we became moms (people told me I couldn't > imagine, and I thought > they were crazy, because I thought I COULD INDEED > imagine, but in my > wildest imagination, I couldn't even come close to > what it's really > like) and you haven't yet had that experience of > feeling responsible and > protective in the way that blossoms when we become > mothers. > > I think we moms have a stronger gut instinct than > the blind spots, > although you're right, there are blind spots, and > one of the reasons WE > are HERE is to help one another identify those blind > spots. > > Please don't paint all moms through the brush > strokes you experienced > with your own mother, don't view us all through that > lens. We wouldn't > be here listening to your experience if we didn't > want to avoid mistakes > others made, and the absolute last thing I want to > do is give any of my > children the idea that they are broken and are > mistakes. YOU have > spotlighted for me the fine line between > intervention/education in the > right way while supporting and growing who my > daughter (with asd) is, as > opposed to intervention that might give her the idea > that there's > something " wrong " with the way she is. > > Sometimes we parents feel like we're being condemned > by the ND community > for whatEVER we do or ask. I'm interested in > support, direction, > illumination of the advocacy and intervention > pathways, not condemnation > for wanting to help my children be the best they can > be. > > PennY > > > > > > > I already know Im not a mom. > > > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as > though > > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being > a > > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > > what that feels like. > > > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as > to > > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all > humans) > > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if > anything, > > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in > holy > > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > > > Kassiane, > > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling > or > > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know > all > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better pen pal. Text or chat with friends inside Yahoo! Mail. See how. http://overview.mail.yahoo.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 Kristi, There are a LOT of factors to take into account. You can have titers tested to see if your son is immune already, have shots one at a time for the really nasty stuff (diptheria is nasty, I almost died from whooping cough and thats making a come back, measles and mumps have epidemics in areas, rubella is an actual cause of autism especially in the unborn but people don't always know they have it which is WHY they vax for it-prenatal rubella is NASTY stuff sometimes, tetanus I understand why they do it but it depends on your son's risk of getting hurt with a rusty nail, etc). Also take into account family history, personal health history, et cetera. If I had kids I'd vaccinate-and I am autistic, with regressions, with a personal history of reactions to tetanus-but on a slower schedule. Kassiane --- Ms kris pritchard wrote: > hi my name is kristi and i have an autistic 3yr old > and a typical 1 and a half yr old she was vaccinated > and he has not been i would not have vaccinated even > if i had another girl i think they have alot to do > with autism along with other factors .should i ever > vaccinate my son? > > penelope_fam wrote: > Kassi, my heart breaks when I read about your > childhood and your > relationship with your mother. Your mom was probably > overwhelmed--triplets are a handful--and she may not > have had enough > help and support to do everything the " right " way > the way she wanted to, > and her words and actions wereall about HER and not > you (although a > little child would not understand that). You do > understand, in your > heart and in your intellect, don't you, that YOU are > NOT broken! > > The original comment/post was about how we moms > worry about our > children, it implied how much those of us who are > mothers changed the > moment we became moms (people told me I couldn't > imagine, and I thought > they were crazy, because I thought I COULD INDEED > imagine, but in my > wildest imagination, I couldn't even come close to > what it's really > like) and you haven't yet had that experience of > feeling responsible and > protective in the way that blossoms when we become > mothers. > > I think we moms have a stronger gut instinct than > the blind spots, > although you're right, there are blind spots, and > one of the reasons WE > are HERE is to help one another identify those blind > spots. > > Please don't paint all moms through the brush > strokes you experienced > with your own mother, don't view us all through that > lens. We wouldn't > be here listening to your experience if we didn't > want to avoid mistakes > others made, and the absolute last thing I want to > do is give any of my > children the idea that they are broken and are > mistakes. YOU have > spotlighted for me the fine line between > intervention/education in the > right way while supporting and growing who my > daughter (with asd) is, as > opposed to intervention that might give her the idea > that there's > something " wrong " with the way she is. > > Sometimes we parents feel like we're being condemned > by the ND community > for whatEVER we do or ask. I'm interested in > support, direction, > illumination of the advocacy and intervention > pathways, not condemnation > for wanting to help my children be the best they can > be. > > PennY > > > > > > I already know Im not a mom. > > > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as > though > > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being > a > > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > > what that feels like. > > > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as > to > > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all > humans) > > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if > anything, > > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in > holy > > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > > > Kassiane, > > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling > or > > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know > all > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/sports;_ylt=At9_qDKvtAbMuh1G1SQtBI7ntAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 Kristi, There are a LOT of factors to take into account. You can have titers tested to see if your son is immune already, have shots one at a time for the really nasty stuff (diptheria is nasty, I almost died from whooping cough and thats making a come back, measles and mumps have epidemics in areas, rubella is an actual cause of autism especially in the unborn but people don't always know they have it which is WHY they vax for it-prenatal rubella is NASTY stuff sometimes, tetanus I understand why they do it but it depends on your son's risk of getting hurt with a rusty nail, etc). Also take into account family history, personal health history, et cetera. If I had kids I'd vaccinate-and I am autistic, with regressions, with a personal history of reactions to tetanus-but on a slower schedule. Kassiane --- Ms kris pritchard wrote: > hi my name is kristi and i have an autistic 3yr old > and a typical 1 and a half yr old she was vaccinated > and he has not been i would not have vaccinated even > if i had another girl i think they have alot to do > with autism along with other factors .should i ever > vaccinate my son? > > penelope_fam wrote: > Kassi, my heart breaks when I read about your > childhood and your > relationship with your mother. Your mom was probably > overwhelmed--triplets are a handful--and she may not > have had enough > help and support to do everything the " right " way > the way she wanted to, > and her words and actions wereall about HER and not > you (although a > little child would not understand that). You do > understand, in your > heart and in your intellect, don't you, that YOU are > NOT broken! > > The original comment/post was about how we moms > worry about our > children, it implied how much those of us who are > mothers changed the > moment we became moms (people told me I couldn't > imagine, and I thought > they were crazy, because I thought I COULD INDEED > imagine, but in my > wildest imagination, I couldn't even come close to > what it's really > like) and you haven't yet had that experience of > feeling responsible and > protective in the way that blossoms when we become > mothers. > > I think we moms have a stronger gut instinct than > the blind spots, > although you're right, there are blind spots, and > one of the reasons WE > are HERE is to help one another identify those blind > spots. > > Please don't paint all moms through the brush > strokes you experienced > with your own mother, don't view us all through that > lens. We wouldn't > be here listening to your experience if we didn't > want to avoid mistakes > others made, and the absolute last thing I want to > do is give any of my > children the idea that they are broken and are > mistakes. YOU have > spotlighted for me the fine line between > intervention/education in the > right way while supporting and growing who my > daughter (with asd) is, as > opposed to intervention that might give her the idea > that there's > something " wrong " with the way she is. > > Sometimes we parents feel like we're being condemned > by the ND community > for whatEVER we do or ask. I'm interested in > support, direction, > illumination of the advocacy and intervention > pathways, not condemnation > for wanting to help my children be the best they can > be. > > PennY > > > > > > I already know Im not a mom. > > > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as > though > > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being > a > > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > > what that feels like. > > > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as > to > > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all > humans) > > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if > anything, > > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in > holy > > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > > > Kassiane, > > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling > or > > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know > all > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/sports;_ylt=At9_qDKvtAbMuh1G1SQtBI7ntAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 I would suggest you research each disease, prevalence, method of transmission, symptoms, recovery/death rates, and then study each vaccine, complications, etc. Like for me, I'm not interested in getting my girls a rubella shot through childhood at all, but during mid-teen years I might revisit the issue because of them possibly having kids one day. But like with pertussis, two of my three have had it, so there's no need to immunize for that, or chicken pox. And other things, like the flu,meningitis, or pneumonia, I would probably never immunize for because I don't think it's been proven effective, risk of immunization too great, etc. HTH, Debi > > hi my name is kristi and i have an autistic 3yr old and a typical 1 and a half yr old she was vaccinated and he has not been i would not have vaccinated even if i had another girl i think they have alot to do with autism along with other factors .should i ever vaccinate my son? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 I would suggest you research each disease, prevalence, method of transmission, symptoms, recovery/death rates, and then study each vaccine, complications, etc. Like for me, I'm not interested in getting my girls a rubella shot through childhood at all, but during mid-teen years I might revisit the issue because of them possibly having kids one day. But like with pertussis, two of my three have had it, so there's no need to immunize for that, or chicken pox. And other things, like the flu,meningitis, or pneumonia, I would probably never immunize for because I don't think it's been proven effective, risk of immunization too great, etc. HTH, Debi > > hi my name is kristi and i have an autistic 3yr old and a typical 1 and a half yr old she was vaccinated and he has not been i would not have vaccinated even if i had another girl i think they have alot to do with autism along with other factors .should i ever vaccinate my son? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Kassiane, Just thought I'd say hi. I don't think we have ever spoken before. I just wanted to share with you that my mother was and is also Off Her Rocker. For anyone who has never been there, it is no joke being raised by someone like that. Mental illness distorts your childhood as well as your outlook on life. I am 40 and still dealing with it. Terri Re: Re: Autism: To Vaccinate Or Not to Vaccinate PennY, As far as my mom is concerned, I AM broken, she did everything right, and I am just too damn stubborn to take HER feelings into account and stop being autistic. She didn't ask for help, just more holy water. I grew up feeling broken, damaged, and incredibly jaded. When I found out about oxytocin and childbirth I actually thought for a few years that it made women crazy (and revised my theory a few years later but it was the ONLY way to explain my mother. Besides, I was 15 and she was STILL CRAZY). And I don't want that for any kid. My mother is probably genuinely off her rocker--she didn't ask for help, didn't TAKE it when it was offered, nothing. It'd be even worse for a kid who was very much cherished and loved and it was an ACCIDENT that the child grew up feeling that way. At least my mom " meant it that way " , if that makes sense. Kassiane --- penelope_fam wrote: > > Kassi, my heart breaks when I read about your > childhood and your > relationship with your mother. Your mom was > probably > overwhelmed--triplets are a handful--and she may not > have had enough > help and support to do everything the " right " way > the way she wanted to, > and her words and actions wereall about HER and not > you (although a > little child would not understand that). You do > understand, in your > heart and in your intellect, don't you, that YOU are > NOT broken! > > The original comment/post was about how we moms > worry about our > children, it implied how much those of us who are > mothers changed the > moment we became moms (people told me I couldn't > imagine, and I thought > they were crazy, because I thought I COULD INDEED > imagine, but in my > wildest imagination, I couldn't even come close to > what it's really > like) and you haven't yet had that experience of > feeling responsible and > protective in the way that blossoms when we become > mothers. > > I think we moms have a stronger gut instinct than > the blind spots, > although you're right, there are blind spots, and > one of the reasons WE > are HERE is to help one another identify those blind > spots. > > Please don't paint all moms through the brush > strokes you experienced > with your own mother, don't view us all through that > lens. We wouldn't > be here listening to your experience if we didn't > want to avoid mistakes > others made, and the absolute last thing I want to > do is give any of my > children the idea that they are broken and are > mistakes. YOU have > spotlighted for me the fine line between > intervention/education in the > right way while supporting and growing who my > daughter (with asd) is, as > opposed to intervention that might give her the idea > that there's > something " wrong " with the way she is. > > Sometimes we parents feel like we're being condemned > by the ND community > for whatEVER we do or ask. I'm interested in > support, direction, > illumination of the advocacy and intervention > pathways, not condemnation > for wanting to help my children be the best they can > be. > > PennY > > > > > > > I already know Im not a mom. > > > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as > though > > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being > a > > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > > what that feels like. > > > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as > to > > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all > humans) > > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if > anything, > > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in > holy > > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > > > Kassiane, > > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling > or > > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know > all > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________________ Be a better pen pal. Text or chat with friends inside Yahoo! Mail. See how. http://overview.mail.yahoo.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Kassiane, Just thought I'd say hi. I don't think we have ever spoken before. I just wanted to share with you that my mother was and is also Off Her Rocker. For anyone who has never been there, it is no joke being raised by someone like that. Mental illness distorts your childhood as well as your outlook on life. I am 40 and still dealing with it. Terri Re: Re: Autism: To Vaccinate Or Not to Vaccinate PennY, As far as my mom is concerned, I AM broken, she did everything right, and I am just too damn stubborn to take HER feelings into account and stop being autistic. She didn't ask for help, just more holy water. I grew up feeling broken, damaged, and incredibly jaded. When I found out about oxytocin and childbirth I actually thought for a few years that it made women crazy (and revised my theory a few years later but it was the ONLY way to explain my mother. Besides, I was 15 and she was STILL CRAZY). And I don't want that for any kid. My mother is probably genuinely off her rocker--she didn't ask for help, didn't TAKE it when it was offered, nothing. It'd be even worse for a kid who was very much cherished and loved and it was an ACCIDENT that the child grew up feeling that way. At least my mom " meant it that way " , if that makes sense. Kassiane --- penelope_fam wrote: > > Kassi, my heart breaks when I read about your > childhood and your > relationship with your mother. Your mom was > probably > overwhelmed--triplets are a handful--and she may not > have had enough > help and support to do everything the " right " way > the way she wanted to, > and her words and actions wereall about HER and not > you (although a > little child would not understand that). You do > understand, in your > heart and in your intellect, don't you, that YOU are > NOT broken! > > The original comment/post was about how we moms > worry about our > children, it implied how much those of us who are > mothers changed the > moment we became moms (people told me I couldn't > imagine, and I thought > they were crazy, because I thought I COULD INDEED > imagine, but in my > wildest imagination, I couldn't even come close to > what it's really > like) and you haven't yet had that experience of > feeling responsible and > protective in the way that blossoms when we become > mothers. > > I think we moms have a stronger gut instinct than > the blind spots, > although you're right, there are blind spots, and > one of the reasons WE > are HERE is to help one another identify those blind > spots. > > Please don't paint all moms through the brush > strokes you experienced > with your own mother, don't view us all through that > lens. We wouldn't > be here listening to your experience if we didn't > want to avoid mistakes > others made, and the absolute last thing I want to > do is give any of my > children the idea that they are broken and are > mistakes. YOU have > spotlighted for me the fine line between > intervention/education in the > right way while supporting and growing who my > daughter (with asd) is, as > opposed to intervention that might give her the idea > that there's > something " wrong " with the way she is. > > Sometimes we parents feel like we're being condemned > by the ND community > for whatEVER we do or ask. I'm interested in > support, direction, > illumination of the advocacy and intervention > pathways, not condemnation > for wanting to help my children be the best they can > be. > > PennY > > > > > > > I already know Im not a mom. > > > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as > though > > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being > a > > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > > what that feels like. > > > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as > to > > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all > humans) > > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if > anything, > > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in > holy > > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > > > Kassiane, > > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling > or > > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know > all > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________________ Be a better pen pal. Text or chat with friends inside Yahoo! Mail. See how. http://overview.mail.yahoo.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 I agree. My mom was nuts. When I was 5 I had twisted my ankle. She thought I was faking it that I couldn't walk and drug me across the very long concrete sidewalk, screaming at me to stand. Of course, the swollen, blue ankle was faking it, too. Then there was the time she took a switch to my brother because he couldn't ride his bike in the 3rd grade, took him down the hill in front of all the neighborhood kids & every time he fell off his bike she hit him with the switch. That night he showed me scabs all over his thighs, not to mention the scabs in his heart that all the kids at witnessed it. My brother had significant math problems, when he couldn't do his homework becuase he didn't understand, they would start screaming at him. Then there was the time I hung from the barrel of a shotgun, begging my parents not to kill each other, I think I was 9-10 at the time. That was in between watching my parents beat up each other, the many nights I ran across the street to beg the police officer to help me, only to have him tell me sorry & shut the door. She used to shake, hit, and scream at me regularly until I was 15 came at me, I snapped and was going to kill her. When I saw the fear in her eyes as I was choking her I stopped. Never hit me again after that. There was the time I was on swim team & asked my mom to come see me compete, she told me she only had one night off from work (nurse) each week and she " ...sure as hell wasn't going to spend it watching me swim... " But in between all that my mother would go through phases of binge eating, vomiting, then working for days on end without coming home, after my father died when I was 11, then she would stay in her room for days, only coming out to go to the bathroom. It wasn't a grieving widow, they were getting divorce when he died. So you see, having a crazy mother is nothing new to many of us. I've had years of counseling to get me to a semi-sane state. <g> I thought I was broken for a lot of years, and I never had any label put on me, other than " fat " or a " pretty face ugly body " or " you'd be pretty if " labels. For most of my childhood and early adult years, those labels where who I was. Now I'm just plain old me. You have to experience me to label me, ROFL! Debi > > > > > > I already know Im not a mom. > > > > > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as > > though > > > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being > > a > > > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > > > what that feels like. > > > > > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as > > to > > > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all > > humans) > > > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if > > anything, > > > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in > > holy > > > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > > > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > > > > > Kassiane, > > > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling > > or > > > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know > > all > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > __________________________________________________________ > Be a better pen pal. > Text or chat with friends inside Yahoo! Mail. See how. http://overview.mail.yahoo.com/ > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 I agree. My mom was nuts. When I was 5 I had twisted my ankle. She thought I was faking it that I couldn't walk and drug me across the very long concrete sidewalk, screaming at me to stand. Of course, the swollen, blue ankle was faking it, too. Then there was the time she took a switch to my brother because he couldn't ride his bike in the 3rd grade, took him down the hill in front of all the neighborhood kids & every time he fell off his bike she hit him with the switch. That night he showed me scabs all over his thighs, not to mention the scabs in his heart that all the kids at witnessed it. My brother had significant math problems, when he couldn't do his homework becuase he didn't understand, they would start screaming at him. Then there was the time I hung from the barrel of a shotgun, begging my parents not to kill each other, I think I was 9-10 at the time. That was in between watching my parents beat up each other, the many nights I ran across the street to beg the police officer to help me, only to have him tell me sorry & shut the door. She used to shake, hit, and scream at me regularly until I was 15 came at me, I snapped and was going to kill her. When I saw the fear in her eyes as I was choking her I stopped. Never hit me again after that. There was the time I was on swim team & asked my mom to come see me compete, she told me she only had one night off from work (nurse) each week and she " ...sure as hell wasn't going to spend it watching me swim... " But in between all that my mother would go through phases of binge eating, vomiting, then working for days on end without coming home, after my father died when I was 11, then she would stay in her room for days, only coming out to go to the bathroom. It wasn't a grieving widow, they were getting divorce when he died. So you see, having a crazy mother is nothing new to many of us. I've had years of counseling to get me to a semi-sane state. <g> I thought I was broken for a lot of years, and I never had any label put on me, other than " fat " or a " pretty face ugly body " or " you'd be pretty if " labels. For most of my childhood and early adult years, those labels where who I was. Now I'm just plain old me. You have to experience me to label me, ROFL! Debi > > > > > > I already know Im not a mom. > > > > > > Being a mom doesn't trump that being raised as > > though > > > you're broken and a mistake sucks, nor does being > > a > > > mom magically confer on anyone the ability to know > > > what that feels like. > > > > > > Mothers DON'T know all, and have a BLIND SPOT as > > to > > > when what they are doing isn't best (as do all > > humans) > > > and frankly the miracle of childbirth, if > > anything, > > > makes it stronger. Unless you think the baths in > > holy > > > water to " bring back the real child " were a great > > > idea, in which case, FINE. Go talk to my MOTHER. > > > > > > Kassiane, > > > raised as though she were posessed or a changeling > > or > > > both, broken, and fully resented. But mothers know > > all > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > __________________________________________________________ > Be a better pen pal. > Text or chat with friends inside Yahoo! Mail. See how. http://overview.mail.yahoo.com/ > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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