Re: oddball again

[Guest guest]

" I actually don't touch people's stuff because I don't know how they

will respond and I actually try to replace things in the exact location

of orign when I do. It is actually an extension of my own quirk to

avoid conflict. Also as we know your sister has a DX of SSD selfish

sister disorder. I have one too, but I feel yours practices "

She just gets upset that I am right so often. (Notice I said " so

often. " ) SHE says " all the time. " My feeling is it is pointless to have

a conversation or do anything if you don't have the correct facts and a

good attitude to begin with.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

" I am a people watcher for me it is useful research. If i have to go to

a social setting, I watch the people and gather information. I feel

like I am watching the behavior of a colony of tribe of and in my head

it is all national geographic. better to watch than engage. In the

past I just collected data never did anything with it just collected it

for the sake of knowledge. It does help me to Map I call it this

world mapping "

I used to watch people, but it is depressing.

Here is something I do not understand: If I go to a party and I track

one person throughout its entire duration, what I will see is that one

person talking nicely with one person, then going on to talking with a

second person, then go on to talking with a third, during which they

trash the first person. Then the person goes on to the fourth person

and talks about what a great friend the first person is and how they

don't really like the second or third person. Then the person goes on

to the fifth person and says what great friends the first four people

are.

Etc.

Then I come home and read about how neurotypicals feel Aspies are

inferior because they have no social skills and no empathy and I

reflect on how lousy it is that I am persecuted for being honest with

people.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

" It does help me to Map I call it this world mapping "

I have heard this term 'mapping' used before in connection with

autism - actually I heard such mentioned by Donna at a talk

she did in Sheffield (UK).

I have realised I map.

I was at a meeting today and was aware I was doing it yet again. I

had it explained a different way by the professor that diagnosed me -

he said that aspies take everything in and do not filter out,

therefore we experience sensory overload and also it takes us longer

to process things because we have not filtered things out (as non

aspies generally do) and is also a reason we find it hard to shut our

brains down, as in constantly processing all the data that most

(mostly non aspies) filter out.

Also another term I heard mentioned at the aforementioned talk was

mono processing and I am aware that I have this to some (posssibly

large) extent. In otherwords I tend to focus on one thing at once, if

I have too much to take in at once - too many things to deal with

such causes problems. Like for example I read the below post and then

went on to the next post (in order) due to thinking of the previous

(the one below) post I couldn't fully take in the post I was

currently reading, as I was thinking of the one I am now responding

to :-)

> >

> i am an avid people watcher from a

> > distance.i can barely tolerate people in my home to

> > the point where i have left the house to get away from them.

> >

> I am a people watcher for me it is useful research. If i have to

go to

> a social setting, I watch the people and gather information. I

feel

> like I am watching the behavior of a colony of tribe of and in my

head

> it is all national geographic. better to watch than engage. In

the

> past I just collected data never did anything with it just

collected it

> for the sake of knowledge. It does help me to Map I call it this

> world mapping

>

[Guest guest]

" It does help me to Map I call it this world mapping "

I have heard this term 'mapping' used before in connection with

autism - actually I heard such mentioned by Donna at a talk

she did in Sheffield (UK).

I have realised I map.

I was at a meeting today and was aware I was doing it yet again. I

had it explained a different way by the professor that diagnosed me -

he said that aspies take everything in and do not filter out,

therefore we experience sensory overload and also it takes us longer

to process things because we have not filtered things out (as non

aspies generally do) and is also a reason we find it hard to shut our

brains down, as in constantly processing all the data that most

(mostly non aspies) filter out.

Also another term I heard mentioned at the aforementioned talk was

mono processing and I am aware that I have this to some (posssibly

large) extent. In otherwords I tend to focus on one thing at once, if

I have too much to take in at once - too many things to deal with

such causes problems. Like for example I read the below post and then

went on to the next post (in order) due to thinking of the previous

(the one below) post I couldn't fully take in the post I was

currently reading, as I was thinking of the one I am now responding

to :-)

> >

> i am an avid people watcher from a

> > distance.i can barely tolerate people in my home to

> > the point where i have left the house to get away from them.

> >

> I am a people watcher for me it is useful research. If i have to

go to

> a social setting, I watch the people and gather information. I

feel

> like I am watching the behavior of a colony of tribe of and in my

head

> it is all national geographic. better to watch than engage. In

the

> past I just collected data never did anything with it just

collected it

> for the sake of knowledge. It does help me to Map I call it this

> world mapping

>

[Guest guest]

" I was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight

shift. "

I was an assistant lab tech when I was younger and I really enjoyed

the work :-) it was soil samples - but however I found it hard to

relate to the people :-( It would have been great if they'd just left

me alone with the soil :-)

> >

> I

> ended up working at a quiet gift shop for less than minimum wage.

Even

> that was too stressful after a while.

> So I kept a strange kind of sanity by imagining other worlds where I

> could fit in.

>

> Bruce this is what many I think " decide " to do a low stress job. I

> printed t-shirts. Did the art, saw no one, ordered shirts. worked

> with 3 other people. did that for 7 years. i loved being alone.

I

> was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight

> shift. That was the dream job but too many people during the day.

too

> many silly politics of pettiness in an office. It was too silly.

mimi

>

[Guest guest]

" I was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight

shift. "

I was an assistant lab tech when I was younger and I really enjoyed

the work :-) it was soil samples - but however I found it hard to

relate to the people :-( It would have been great if they'd just left

me alone with the soil :-)

> >

> I

> ended up working at a quiet gift shop for less than minimum wage.

Even

> that was too stressful after a while.

> So I kept a strange kind of sanity by imagining other worlds where I

> could fit in.

>

> Bruce this is what many I think " decide " to do a low stress job. I

> printed t-shirts. Did the art, saw no one, ordered shirts. worked

> with 3 other people. did that for 7 years. i loved being alone.

I

> was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight

> shift. That was the dream job but too many people during the day.

too

> many silly politics of pettiness in an office. It was too silly.

mimi

>

[Guest guest]

Much of my childhood was spent in my basement with my two chemistry

sets, my geology set and my microscope. I used my weather forecasting

set and the telescope outside.

The exploration of everything from that micro-world to the exterior

universe caused everything to gel in my mind about the world we have,

and helped me to theorize on what it might look like in the future.

My environmental activism was born out of these studies.

My friends sometimes participated in these explorations, but I was

never more pleased when I was working alone, unless my friends were

particularly focused on certain days.

Tom

Administrator

" I was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight

shift. "

I was an assistant lab tech when I was younger and I really enjoyed

the work :-) it was soil samples - but however I found it hard to

relate to the people :-( It would have been great if they'd just left

me alone with the soil :-)

[Guest guest]

Much of my childhood was spent in my basement with my two chemistry

sets, my geology set and my microscope. I used my weather forecasting

set and the telescope outside.

The exploration of everything from that micro-world to the exterior

universe caused everything to gel in my mind about the world we have,

and helped me to theorize on what it might look like in the future.

My environmental activism was born out of these studies.

My friends sometimes participated in these explorations, but I was

never more pleased when I was working alone, unless my friends were

particularly focused on certain days.

Tom

Administrator

" I was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight

shift. "

I was an assistant lab tech when I was younger and I really enjoyed

the work :-) it was soil samples - but however I found it hard to

relate to the people :-( It would have been great if they'd just left

me alone with the soil :-)

[Guest guest]

I've said it before - and I'll say it again :-) Aspies tend to be good

at anything they put their mind to and if they put their mind to being

bad they'll be very good at being bad :-)

>

> I didn't know that autistic people were capable of manipulation. I

> guess I've been listening to the wrong people. I'm still learning a

lot

> about what it means to have Aspergers. There's a lot of information

out

> there.

>

> the Dreamer

[Guest guest]

I've said it before - and I'll say it again :-) Aspies tend to be good

at anything they put their mind to and if they put their mind to being

bad they'll be very good at being bad :-)

>

> I didn't know that autistic people were capable of manipulation. I

> guess I've been listening to the wrong people. I'm still learning a

lot

> about what it means to have Aspergers. There's a lot of information

out

> there.

>

> the Dreamer

[Guest guest]

Mmmmmmmmm thinking on what you have wrote about babies and

manipulation - I remember when I first recalled, became aware of my

son at a very young age doing what is described as 'milking it' - as

in I was aware that all his needs were met and that he was doing

certain things just for attention; like even though he was in no pain

etc he was able to do certain things that he learnt would recieve

from me an expected response. I must admit I was quite surprised

at what a young age I was aware of him doing this.

Just to clarify - my son gets lots of attention :-) , but I don't

fall for emotional blackmail.

" ... <snip> ... I'm still learning a lot about what it

> means to have Aspergers. There's a lot of information out

there ...

> <snip> ... "

>

> And a lot of misinformation. Be careful what you choose to believe.

>

> Raven

> Co-Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

Mmmmmmmmm thinking on what you have wrote about babies and

manipulation - I remember when I first recalled, became aware of my

son at a very young age doing what is described as 'milking it' - as

in I was aware that all his needs were met and that he was doing

certain things just for attention; like even though he was in no pain

etc he was able to do certain things that he learnt would recieve

from me an expected response. I must admit I was quite surprised

at what a young age I was aware of him doing this.

Just to clarify - my son gets lots of attention :-) , but I don't

fall for emotional blackmail.

" ... <snip> ... I'm still learning a lot about what it

> means to have Aspergers. There's a lot of information out

there ...

> <snip> ... "

>

> And a lot of misinformation. Be careful what you choose to believe.

>

> Raven

> Co-Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

" Here is something I do not understand: If I go to a party and I

track one person throughout its entire duration, what I will see is

that one person talking nicely with one person, then going on to

talking with a second person, then go on to talking with a third,

during which they trash the first person. Then the person goes on to

the fourth person and talks about what a great friend the first

person is and how they don't really like the second or third person.

Then the person goes on to the fifth person and says what great

friends the first four people are.

>

> Etc. "

I too have observed such and I don't understand it. If I consider

some one a friend I tend to be rather defensive of them - I've had

this pointed out to me on a few occasions - however I do not consider

people friends lightly - I guess I am quite fiercley loyal to those I

do consider friends.

I could hypothesize why some do what you describe - but really what

would be the point as I am never really going to fully understand it

only theoretically anyway.

>

> " I am a people watcher for me it is useful research. If i have to

go to

> a social setting, I watch the people and gather information. I feel

> like I am watching the behavior of a colony of tribe of and in my

head

> it is all national geographic. better to watch than engage. In the

> past I just collected data never did anything with it just

collected it

> for the sake of knowledge. It does help me to Map I call it this

> world mapping "

>

> I used to watch people, but it is depressing.

>

> Here is something I do not understand: If I go to a party and I

track

> one person throughout its entire duration, what I will see is that

one

> person talking nicely with one person, then going on to talking

with a

> second person, then go on to talking with a third, during which

they

> trash the first person. Then the person goes on to the fourth

person

> and talks about what a great friend the first person is and how

they

> don't really like the second or third person. Then the person goes

on

> to the fifth person and says what great friends the first four

people

> are.

>

> Etc.

>

> Then I come home and read about how neurotypicals feel Aspies are

> inferior because they have no social skills and no empathy and I

> reflect on how lousy it is that I am persecuted for being honest

with

> people.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

" Here is something I do not understand: If I go to a party and I

track one person throughout its entire duration, what I will see is

that one person talking nicely with one person, then going on to

talking with a second person, then go on to talking with a third,

during which they trash the first person. Then the person goes on to

the fourth person and talks about what a great friend the first

person is and how they don't really like the second or third person.

Then the person goes on to the fifth person and says what great

friends the first four people are.

>

> Etc. "

I too have observed such and I don't understand it. If I consider

some one a friend I tend to be rather defensive of them - I've had

this pointed out to me on a few occasions - however I do not consider

people friends lightly - I guess I am quite fiercley loyal to those I

do consider friends.

I could hypothesize why some do what you describe - but really what

would be the point as I am never really going to fully understand it

only theoretically anyway.

>

> " I am a people watcher for me it is useful research. If i have to

go to

> a social setting, I watch the people and gather information. I feel

> like I am watching the behavior of a colony of tribe of and in my

head

> it is all national geographic. better to watch than engage. In the

> past I just collected data never did anything with it just

collected it

> for the sake of knowledge. It does help me to Map I call it this

> world mapping "

>

> I used to watch people, but it is depressing.

>

> Here is something I do not understand: If I go to a party and I

track

> one person throughout its entire duration, what I will see is that

one

> person talking nicely with one person, then going on to talking

with a

> second person, then go on to talking with a third, during which

they

> trash the first person. Then the person goes on to the fourth

person

> and talks about what a great friend the first person is and how

they

> don't really like the second or third person. Then the person goes

on

> to the fifth person and says what great friends the first four

people

> are.

>

> Etc.

>

> Then I come home and read about how neurotypicals feel Aspies are

> inferior because they have no social skills and no empathy and I

> reflect on how lousy it is that I am persecuted for being honest

with

> people.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

" Guys really aren't too different, except that we tend to keep our

own council regarding secrets. "

I have one male friend right now and we do tend to keep private stuff

to ourselves, only spilling our guts when relevant. The times we have

imparted deeper personal things, we have always kept each other's

secrets.

" The few times I let them out when I was young, they usually ended up

spread all around and twisted out of all recognition. "

That has been my experience as well.

" That taught me to keep my mouth shut, and also that those boys

really weren't good friends. "

Agreed.

" Guys will usually find something external to pick someone about,

like their small size, being fat, bad at sports, etc. They tend to be

more physical. "

That is true also.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

" Guys really aren't too different, except that we tend to keep our

own council regarding secrets. "

I have one male friend right now and we do tend to keep private stuff

to ourselves, only spilling our guts when relevant. The times we have

imparted deeper personal things, we have always kept each other's

secrets.

" The few times I let them out when I was young, they usually ended up

spread all around and twisted out of all recognition. "

That has been my experience as well.

" That taught me to keep my mouth shut, and also that those boys

really weren't good friends. "

Agreed.

" Guys will usually find something external to pick someone about,

like their small size, being fat, bad at sports, etc. They tend to be

more physical. "

That is true also.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

>

julie.stevenson16@... writes>

however I do not consider

people friends lightly - I guess I am quite fiercley loyal to those I

do consider friends.

VISIGOTH@... wrote:

I have noticed this too. It starts young too. My mother and the other

teachers often talk about how girls will form these great friendships

with another girl and tell them everything. Inevitably, the two have

a falling out and then they tell the other's secrets all around

causing hurt feelings and fights. Then find new friends and it starts

all over again.

Mimi says, this is the ape behavior of posturing, and desire to find

mates. Eliminate the competition, alpha behavior. Putting people in

their place by lowering their credit. A subversive attack on their

self worth--This bty sets up for their arguing style, later in life

by what means they manipulate information to make themselves look

good without actually being good. SMOKE AND MIRRORS. Guys, girls,

NT. It is the study and focus of being unstudied and illfocused.

Reality is pushed aside infavor of a pretty illusion (another reason

I like psyfi/scifi) I tend to like the books that point this out in

futuristic societies. Really the study of people is like studing and

animal population the rituals the mating the socializing

[Guest guest]

I want to clarify what I previously wrote. I still stand by being

feiercly loyal to those I consider friends - however this does not

mean I will always agree with those I consider friends.

This has caused problems in the past where some seem to think

that the definition (in their opinion) of a friend is someone who

always agrees with them - I cannot do that and hence some

relationships do not last.

For example if I had to pick someone for a certain job I would not

choose a friend, just because they were a friend - I would try and

choose someone most suited to the job - to me that is logic - to some

others this would be considered a snub or betrayal, maybe this is why

I have problems with people?

> I have noticed this too. It starts young too. My mother and the

other

> teachers often talk about how girls will form these great

friendships

> with another girl and tell them everything. Inevitably, the two

have

> a falling out and then they tell the other's secrets all around

> causing hurt feelings and fights. Then find new friends and it

starts

> all over again.

>

> Mimi says, this is the ape behavior of posturing, and desire to

find

> mates. Eliminate the competition, alpha behavior. Putting people

in

> their place by lowering their credit. A subversive attack on their

> self worth--This bty sets up for their arguing style, later in life

> by what means they manipulate information to make themselves look

> good without actually being good. SMOKE AND MIRRORS. Guys, girls,

> NT. It is the study and focus of being unstudied and illfocused.

> Reality is pushed aside infavor of a pretty illusion (another

reason

> I like psyfi/scifi) I tend to like the books that point this out

in

> futuristic societies. Really the study of people is like studing

and

> animal population the rituals the mating the socializing

>