Guest guest Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 " I actually don't touch people's stuff because I don't know how they will respond and I actually try to replace things in the exact location of orign when I do. It is actually an extension of my own quirk to avoid conflict. Also as we know your sister has a DX of SSD selfish sister disorder. I have one too, but I feel yours practices " She just gets upset that I am right so often. (Notice I said " so often. " ) SHE says " all the time. " My feeling is it is pointless to have a conversation or do anything if you don't have the correct facts and a good attitude to begin with. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 " I am a people watcher for me it is useful research. If i have to go to a social setting, I watch the people and gather information. I feel like I am watching the behavior of a colony of tribe of and in my head it is all national geographic. better to watch than engage. In the past I just collected data never did anything with it just collected it for the sake of knowledge. It does help me to Map I call it this world mapping " I used to watch people, but it is depressing. Here is something I do not understand: If I go to a party and I track one person throughout its entire duration, what I will see is that one person talking nicely with one person, then going on to talking with a second person, then go on to talking with a third, during which they trash the first person. Then the person goes on to the fourth person and talks about what a great friend the first person is and how they don't really like the second or third person. Then the person goes on to the fifth person and says what great friends the first four people are. Etc. Then I come home and read about how neurotypicals feel Aspies are inferior because they have no social skills and no empathy and I reflect on how lousy it is that I am persecuted for being honest with people. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 " It does help me to Map I call it this world mapping " I have heard this term 'mapping' used before in connection with autism - actually I heard such mentioned by Donna at a talk she did in Sheffield (UK). I have realised I map. I was at a meeting today and was aware I was doing it yet again. I had it explained a different way by the professor that diagnosed me - he said that aspies take everything in and do not filter out, therefore we experience sensory overload and also it takes us longer to process things because we have not filtered things out (as non aspies generally do) and is also a reason we find it hard to shut our brains down, as in constantly processing all the data that most (mostly non aspies) filter out. Also another term I heard mentioned at the aforementioned talk was mono processing and I am aware that I have this to some (posssibly large) extent. In otherwords I tend to focus on one thing at once, if I have too much to take in at once - too many things to deal with such causes problems. Like for example I read the below post and then went on to the next post (in order) due to thinking of the previous (the one below) post I couldn't fully take in the post I was currently reading, as I was thinking of the one I am now responding to :-) > > > i am an avid people watcher from a > > distance.i can barely tolerate people in my home to > > the point where i have left the house to get away from them. > > > I am a people watcher for me it is useful research. If i have to go to > a social setting, I watch the people and gather information. I feel > like I am watching the behavior of a colony of tribe of and in my head > it is all national geographic. better to watch than engage. In the > past I just collected data never did anything with it just collected it > for the sake of knowledge. It does help me to Map I call it this > world mapping > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 " It does help me to Map I call it this world mapping " I have heard this term 'mapping' used before in connection with autism - actually I heard such mentioned by Donna at a talk she did in Sheffield (UK). I have realised I map. I was at a meeting today and was aware I was doing it yet again. I had it explained a different way by the professor that diagnosed me - he said that aspies take everything in and do not filter out, therefore we experience sensory overload and also it takes us longer to process things because we have not filtered things out (as non aspies generally do) and is also a reason we find it hard to shut our brains down, as in constantly processing all the data that most (mostly non aspies) filter out. Also another term I heard mentioned at the aforementioned talk was mono processing and I am aware that I have this to some (posssibly large) extent. In otherwords I tend to focus on one thing at once, if I have too much to take in at once - too many things to deal with such causes problems. Like for example I read the below post and then went on to the next post (in order) due to thinking of the previous (the one below) post I couldn't fully take in the post I was currently reading, as I was thinking of the one I am now responding to :-) > > > i am an avid people watcher from a > > distance.i can barely tolerate people in my home to > > the point where i have left the house to get away from them. > > > I am a people watcher for me it is useful research. If i have to go to > a social setting, I watch the people and gather information. I feel > like I am watching the behavior of a colony of tribe of and in my head > it is all national geographic. better to watch than engage. In the > past I just collected data never did anything with it just collected it > for the sake of knowledge. It does help me to Map I call it this > world mapping > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 " I was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight shift. " I was an assistant lab tech when I was younger and I really enjoyed the work :-) it was soil samples - but however I found it hard to relate to the people :-( It would have been great if they'd just left me alone with the soil :-) > > > I > ended up working at a quiet gift shop for less than minimum wage. Even > that was too stressful after a while. > So I kept a strange kind of sanity by imagining other worlds where I > could fit in. > > Bruce this is what many I think " decide " to do a low stress job. I > printed t-shirts. Did the art, saw no one, ordered shirts. worked > with 3 other people. did that for 7 years. i loved being alone. I > was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight > shift. That was the dream job but too many people during the day. too > many silly politics of pettiness in an office. It was too silly. mimi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 " I was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight shift. " I was an assistant lab tech when I was younger and I really enjoyed the work :-) it was soil samples - but however I found it hard to relate to the people :-( It would have been great if they'd just left me alone with the soil :-) > > > I > ended up working at a quiet gift shop for less than minimum wage. Even > that was too stressful after a while. > So I kept a strange kind of sanity by imagining other worlds where I > could fit in. > > Bruce this is what many I think " decide " to do a low stress job. I > printed t-shirts. Did the art, saw no one, ordered shirts. worked > with 3 other people. did that for 7 years. i loved being alone. I > was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight > shift. That was the dream job but too many people during the day. too > many silly politics of pettiness in an office. It was too silly. mimi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 Much of my childhood was spent in my basement with my two chemistry sets, my geology set and my microscope. I used my weather forecasting set and the telescope outside. The exploration of everything from that micro-world to the exterior universe caused everything to gel in my mind about the world we have, and helped me to theorize on what it might look like in the future. My environmental activism was born out of these studies. My friends sometimes participated in these explorations, but I was never more pleased when I was working alone, unless my friends were particularly focused on certain days. Tom Administrator " I was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight shift. " I was an assistant lab tech when I was younger and I really enjoyed the work :-) it was soil samples - but however I found it hard to relate to the people :-( It would have been great if they'd just left me alone with the soil :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 Much of my childhood was spent in my basement with my two chemistry sets, my geology set and my microscope. I used my weather forecasting set and the telescope outside. The exploration of everything from that micro-world to the exterior universe caused everything to gel in my mind about the world we have, and helped me to theorize on what it might look like in the future. My environmental activism was born out of these studies. My friends sometimes participated in these explorations, but I was never more pleased when I was working alone, unless my friends were particularly focused on certain days. Tom Administrator " I was a lab tech for a few years but I couldn't work the overnight shift. " I was an assistant lab tech when I was younger and I really enjoyed the work :-) it was soil samples - but however I found it hard to relate to the people :-( It would have been great if they'd just left me alone with the soil :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 I've said it before - and I'll say it again :-) Aspies tend to be good at anything they put their mind to and if they put their mind to being bad they'll be very good at being bad :-) > > I didn't know that autistic people were capable of manipulation. I > guess I've been listening to the wrong people. I'm still learning a lot > about what it means to have Aspergers. There's a lot of information out > there. > > the Dreamer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 I've said it before - and I'll say it again :-) Aspies tend to be good at anything they put their mind to and if they put their mind to being bad they'll be very good at being bad :-) > > I didn't know that autistic people were capable of manipulation. I > guess I've been listening to the wrong people. I'm still learning a lot > about what it means to have Aspergers. There's a lot of information out > there. > > the Dreamer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 Mmmmmmmmm thinking on what you have wrote about babies and manipulation - I remember when I first recalled, became aware of my son at a very young age doing what is described as 'milking it' - as in I was aware that all his needs were met and that he was doing certain things just for attention; like even though he was in no pain etc he was able to do certain things that he learnt would recieve from me an expected response. I must admit I was quite surprised at what a young age I was aware of him doing this. Just to clarify - my son gets lots of attention :-) , but I don't fall for emotional blackmail. " ... <snip> ... I'm still learning a lot about what it > means to have Aspergers. There's a lot of information out there ... > <snip> ... " > > And a lot of misinformation. Be careful what you choose to believe. > > Raven > Co-Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 Mmmmmmmmm thinking on what you have wrote about babies and manipulation - I remember when I first recalled, became aware of my son at a very young age doing what is described as 'milking it' - as in I was aware that all his needs were met and that he was doing certain things just for attention; like even though he was in no pain etc he was able to do certain things that he learnt would recieve from me an expected response. I must admit I was quite surprised at what a young age I was aware of him doing this. Just to clarify - my son gets lots of attention :-) , but I don't fall for emotional blackmail. " ... <snip> ... I'm still learning a lot about what it > means to have Aspergers. There's a lot of information out there ... > <snip> ... " > > And a lot of misinformation. Be careful what you choose to believe. > > Raven > Co-Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 " Here is something I do not understand: If I go to a party and I track one person throughout its entire duration, what I will see is that one person talking nicely with one person, then going on to talking with a second person, then go on to talking with a third, during which they trash the first person. Then the person goes on to the fourth person and talks about what a great friend the first person is and how they don't really like the second or third person. Then the person goes on to the fifth person and says what great friends the first four people are. > > Etc. " I too have observed such and I don't understand it. If I consider some one a friend I tend to be rather defensive of them - I've had this pointed out to me on a few occasions - however I do not consider people friends lightly - I guess I am quite fiercley loyal to those I do consider friends. I could hypothesize why some do what you describe - but really what would be the point as I am never really going to fully understand it only theoretically anyway. > > " I am a people watcher for me it is useful research. If i have to go to > a social setting, I watch the people and gather information. I feel > like I am watching the behavior of a colony of tribe of and in my head > it is all national geographic. better to watch than engage. In the > past I just collected data never did anything with it just collected it > for the sake of knowledge. It does help me to Map I call it this > world mapping " > > I used to watch people, but it is depressing. > > Here is something I do not understand: If I go to a party and I track > one person throughout its entire duration, what I will see is that one > person talking nicely with one person, then going on to talking with a > second person, then go on to talking with a third, during which they > trash the first person. Then the person goes on to the fourth person > and talks about what a great friend the first person is and how they > don't really like the second or third person. Then the person goes on > to the fifth person and says what great friends the first four people > are. > > Etc. > > Then I come home and read about how neurotypicals feel Aspies are > inferior because they have no social skills and no empathy and I > reflect on how lousy it is that I am persecuted for being honest with > people. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 " Here is something I do not understand: If I go to a party and I track one person throughout its entire duration, what I will see is that one person talking nicely with one person, then going on to talking with a second person, then go on to talking with a third, during which they trash the first person. Then the person goes on to the fourth person and talks about what a great friend the first person is and how they don't really like the second or third person. Then the person goes on to the fifth person and says what great friends the first four people are. > > Etc. " I too have observed such and I don't understand it. If I consider some one a friend I tend to be rather defensive of them - I've had this pointed out to me on a few occasions - however I do not consider people friends lightly - I guess I am quite fiercley loyal to those I do consider friends. I could hypothesize why some do what you describe - but really what would be the point as I am never really going to fully understand it only theoretically anyway. > > " I am a people watcher for me it is useful research. If i have to go to > a social setting, I watch the people and gather information. I feel > like I am watching the behavior of a colony of tribe of and in my head > it is all national geographic. better to watch than engage. In the > past I just collected data never did anything with it just collected it > for the sake of knowledge. It does help me to Map I call it this > world mapping " > > I used to watch people, but it is depressing. > > Here is something I do not understand: If I go to a party and I track > one person throughout its entire duration, what I will see is that one > person talking nicely with one person, then going on to talking with a > second person, then go on to talking with a third, during which they > trash the first person. Then the person goes on to the fourth person > and talks about what a great friend the first person is and how they > don't really like the second or third person. Then the person goes on > to the fifth person and says what great friends the first four people > are. > > Etc. > > Then I come home and read about how neurotypicals feel Aspies are > inferior because they have no social skills and no empathy and I > reflect on how lousy it is that I am persecuted for being honest with > people. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 " Guys really aren't too different, except that we tend to keep our own council regarding secrets. " I have one male friend right now and we do tend to keep private stuff to ourselves, only spilling our guts when relevant. The times we have imparted deeper personal things, we have always kept each other's secrets. " The few times I let them out when I was young, they usually ended up spread all around and twisted out of all recognition. " That has been my experience as well. " That taught me to keep my mouth shut, and also that those boys really weren't good friends. " Agreed. " Guys will usually find something external to pick someone about, like their small size, being fat, bad at sports, etc. They tend to be more physical. " That is true also. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 " Guys really aren't too different, except that we tend to keep our own council regarding secrets. " I have one male friend right now and we do tend to keep private stuff to ourselves, only spilling our guts when relevant. The times we have imparted deeper personal things, we have always kept each other's secrets. " The few times I let them out when I was young, they usually ended up spread all around and twisted out of all recognition. " That has been my experience as well. " That taught me to keep my mouth shut, and also that those boys really weren't good friends. " Agreed. " Guys will usually find something external to pick someone about, like their small size, being fat, bad at sports, etc. They tend to be more physical. " That is true also. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2007 Report Share Posted March 15, 2007 > julie.stevenson16@... writes> however I do not consider people friends lightly - I guess I am quite fiercley loyal to those I do consider friends. VISIGOTH@... wrote: I have noticed this too. It starts young too. My mother and the other teachers often talk about how girls will form these great friendships with another girl and tell them everything. Inevitably, the two have a falling out and then they tell the other's secrets all around causing hurt feelings and fights. Then find new friends and it starts all over again. Mimi says, this is the ape behavior of posturing, and desire to find mates. Eliminate the competition, alpha behavior. Putting people in their place by lowering their credit. A subversive attack on their self worth--This bty sets up for their arguing style, later in life by what means they manipulate information to make themselves look good without actually being good. SMOKE AND MIRRORS. Guys, girls, NT. It is the study and focus of being unstudied and illfocused. Reality is pushed aside infavor of a pretty illusion (another reason I like psyfi/scifi) I tend to like the books that point this out in futuristic societies. Really the study of people is like studing and animal population the rituals the mating the socializing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2007 Report Share Posted March 15, 2007 I want to clarify what I previously wrote. I still stand by being feiercly loyal to those I consider friends - however this does not mean I will always agree with those I consider friends. This has caused problems in the past where some seem to think that the definition (in their opinion) of a friend is someone who always agrees with them - I cannot do that and hence some relationships do not last. For example if I had to pick someone for a certain job I would not choose a friend, just because they were a friend - I would try and choose someone most suited to the job - to me that is logic - to some others this would be considered a snub or betrayal, maybe this is why I have problems with people? > I have noticed this too. It starts young too. My mother and the other > teachers often talk about how girls will form these great friendships > with another girl and tell them everything. Inevitably, the two have > a falling out and then they tell the other's secrets all around > causing hurt feelings and fights. Then find new friends and it starts > all over again. > > Mimi says, this is the ape behavior of posturing, and desire to find > mates. Eliminate the competition, alpha behavior. Putting people in > their place by lowering their credit. A subversive attack on their > self worth--This bty sets up for their arguing style, later in life > by what means they manipulate information to make themselves look > good without actually being good. SMOKE AND MIRRORS. Guys, girls, > NT. It is the study and focus of being unstudied and illfocused. > Reality is pushed aside infavor of a pretty illusion (another reason > I like psyfi/scifi) I tend to like the books that point this out in > futuristic societies. Really the study of people is like studing and > animal population the rituals the mating the socializing > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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