Re: Noise annoys autistic children

[Guest guest]

Aah, a sense of wonder. This is one of my most favorite feelings. I

have at times lost this feeling and it was very distressing. My

sense of humor is dry and/or wacky. I used to be pretty sarcastic

but I found in moving to the south that most southerners don't

appreciate that AT ALL. Most Americans don't get a dry sense of

humor and most think wacky is weird or childish, more so women than

men. Men usually like that I can laugh at The Three Stooges or a

movie like Dumb and Dumber whereas most women are appalled! I'm

like you though, where just the way something looks or sounds can

have me cracking up for a while afterwards. I can picture the pants

on the line or certain breakfast cereals and start laughing because I

see what you find funny in them. It only takes the tiniest push in

the humor direction for me to find something funny. I'm not very

discriminating.

> >

> > I have spent so long in the NT world learning how to communicate

> with

> > them that I think part of my brain has atrophied. When I come

here

> > there's so much I want to say but I've lost some of my ability to

> do

> > so and get a headache trying so hard! One thing I've learned is

> that

> > I used a sense of humor as a coping technique--if I couldn't

> connect

> > with them I'd just joke around with them. Ususally they either

> don't

> > have a sense of humor themselves, or they don't get my sense of

> > humor, or they thought I was being inappropriate (which I'm sure

I

> > often was). At least I was getting something out of it, if they

> > weren't (it's fun having a sense of humor)and it served to turn

> their

> > attention away from me (they don't like quiet people who aren't

all

> > animated like them). My autistic brother-in-law does the same

thing

> > with humor--he makes puns out of what people say, but again they

> > don't appreciate it! But here I can be myself and I don't have to

> > joke around, which is what made me realize joking around was a

> coping

> > technique.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I really long for some of the things the way they used to be such as

before electricity (not that I would like to necessarily go without

it)when people went to bed when it got dark and got up when it is

light. We could probably adjust our schedules to follow this. Not

quite like the birds, I'm sure, because it's like a switch with them--

dark equals sleep, light equals wake. (I'm envious). My cockatiels

used to cry for their cover when it was time for them to go to sleep.

I've heard that before electricity people slept 10 hours a night (but

I'm really thinking this is because they were so exhausted, not

having electricity to make their chores easier!).

>

> I wish there were earplugs that could filter out the annoying sounds

> but not bird song and pleasant sounds (although bird song can be

> annoying too, if they wake you up too early in the morning). :-)

>

> Inger

>

>

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and

> acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page

in the

> folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

[Guest guest]

Sort of off topic but... and may not be the best group to ask...

what's a " tactful " way the tell your upstairs neighbor that they

clump around like Clydesdales and bang around that it's rare that

they don't wake my up at 1-2AM...

I'm socialized enough to know that to say the above won't go over

well with most people... I've never interacted with them (not even

to pass in the common area shared by our Units and several others) in

the year they have be there. I had hoped they would get quieter with

time but instead it gotten worse...

I know I probably should have approach them sooner but I don't want a

conflict...

Any thoughts...

Ender

[Guest guest]

,

I created this place because of what you have said below. The REAL

world is a place that numbs my mind.

I wanted to create some forums where I could be me and be true to

myself. And I wanted to create a place where OTHERS could be true to

THEMSELVES.

There are plenty of Aspie groups out there. The bigger ones have all

different kinds of Aspies on them who are looking for all kinds of

different things. Mostly I see them as places to socialize, which is

fine, but this is a place to REALLY get in touch with others and to

get in touch with one's self too.

I consider this place my home away from home, and...sometimes...my

home.

Tom

Administrator

When I come here there's so much I want to say but I've lost some of

my ability to do so and get a headache trying so hard!

But here I can be myself and I don't have to joke around, which is

what made me realize joking around was a coping technique.

[Guest guest]

I would type a note to leave under the door which says:

" Hello,

Just a polite note from one of your neighbors. The floors seem to

conduct noise really well. Would you mind treading a bit lighter

during the nighttimes?

If it continues, perhaps I'll talk to the landlord about getting

rugs or some better padding/insulation installed.

Thanks. "

Implied in there is a threat to go to the landlord if they don't

keep it down, but you haven't accused THEM of anything regardless.

All you've done is criticized the floor.

Tom

Administrator

Sort of off topic but... and may not be the best group to ask...

what's a " tactful " way the tell your upstairs neighbor that they

clump around like Clydesdales and bang around that it's rare that

they don't wake my up at 1-2AM...

I'm socialized enough to know that to say the above won't go over

well with most people... I've never interacted with them (not even

to pass in the common area shared by our Units and several others) in

the year they have be there. I had hoped they would get quieter with

time but instead it gotten worse...

I know I probably should have approach them sooner but I don't want a

conflict...

Any thoughts...

Ender

[Guest guest]

I think I would find it difficult in some ways - like no computer :-(

etc, but I do love candlelight the visual affects of it and I also

like the dark, so hardly can imagine myself going to bed as soon as

it is dark - if anything I become more awake :-)

I used to love being out in the dark as a child. I have learnt as I

am older that it is not nececassarily safe though, but I still love

gazing at the stars, the orange pumkin glow of street lamps

especially reflected of slick wet black tarmac, or moon light on roof

slates.

Still now the clocks have gone back here it is getting dark way too

early, like starting to get dark between 4 - 5pm. Still the idea of

10 hours sleep sounds good. I'm personally more of a night person

that has been forced into getting up early due to having to get child

ready for school :-(

>

> I really long for some of the things the way they used to be such

as

> before electricity (not that I would like to necessarily go without

> it)when people went to bed when it got dark and got up when it is

> light. We could probably adjust our schedules to follow this. Not

> quite like the birds, I'm sure, because it's like a switch with

them--

> dark equals sleep, light equals wake. (I'm envious). My cockatiels

> used to cry for their cover when it was time for them to go to

sleep.

> I've heard that before electricity people slept 10 hours a night

(but

> I'm really thinking this is because they were so exhausted, not

> having electricity to make their chores easier!).

[Guest guest]

Do a lot of Aspies like heavy metal? I've heard that these days it's

often performed by excellent frustrated musicians (some classically

trained) who can't find a niche in the music industry since it's so

commercialized and you have to fit the 'look' they want. I often

listen to the heavy metal channel on music channel on cable to find

these and some are amazing. There's an AMAZING drummer in a group

called Mastodon. Maybe some are themselves Austistic or Aspergers.

>

> This house is usually prett quiet, especially when my mother isn't

around.

> She actually has a problem with how quiet I am because she can

never tell if I

> am awake or not. Part of that is because I tend to sleep odd hours

and the

> rest of the time I am quiet. I mean, I usually sit right next to

the TV (the

> computer is close to it) so I don't need to have it out of the

single digits on

> the volume most of the time. Even when I'm farther away I still

don't have

> it over about 14 and I only play the radio when my mother isn't

around,

> largely because she can't stand heavy metal.

>

> The place I stay in Alabama is in town, but it is usually quiet

there as

> well. The old timber mill was kind of noisy, but it was so constant

you got used

> to it. Mostly what you heard was the bark peeling machine, which

was rather

> loud, but they ran the trees through end to end so the noise just

faded into

> the background after a while. Indeed it got to the point that the

weekends and

> after hours sounded odd not having that thing going. But they've

been close

> for a few years now thanks to incompetant management. Bad for the

local

> economy, but good for the noise. Still, they are looking at

bringing in new

> business and manufacturing, which is a good thing and none of it

will be as loud as

> that old mill.

>

> The old home place is very quite, seeing that there is no one

around for a

> few miles. But that is a little too isolated for me. Nighttime out

there gets

> me worried about aliens and stuff like that. Sounds kinda silly,

but I have my

> suspicions that I may have had encounters with them. How else

could you

> explain this one childhood " dream " that I still remember that was

about aliens

> but I had it before I even heard about aliens?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Do a lot of Aspies like heavy metal? I've heard that these days it's

often performed by excellent frustrated musicians (some classically

trained) who can't find a niche in the music industry since it's so

commercialized and you have to fit the 'look' they want. I often

listen to the heavy metal channel on music channel on cable to find

these and some are amazing. There's an AMAZING drummer in a group

called Mastodon. Maybe some are themselves Austistic or Aspergers.

>

> This house is usually prett quiet, especially when my mother isn't

around.

> She actually has a problem with how quiet I am because she can

never tell if I

> am awake or not. Part of that is because I tend to sleep odd hours

and the

> rest of the time I am quiet. I mean, I usually sit right next to

the TV (the

> computer is close to it) so I don't need to have it out of the

single digits on

> the volume most of the time. Even when I'm farther away I still

don't have

> it over about 14 and I only play the radio when my mother isn't

around,

> largely because she can't stand heavy metal.

>

> The place I stay in Alabama is in town, but it is usually quiet

there as

> well. The old timber mill was kind of noisy, but it was so constant

you got used

> to it. Mostly what you heard was the bark peeling machine, which

was rather

> loud, but they ran the trees through end to end so the noise just

faded into

> the background after a while. Indeed it got to the point that the

weekends and

> after hours sounded odd not having that thing going. But they've

been close

> for a few years now thanks to incompetant management. Bad for the

local

> economy, but good for the noise. Still, they are looking at

bringing in new

> business and manufacturing, which is a good thing and none of it

will be as loud as

> that old mill.

>

> The old home place is very quite, seeing that there is no one

around for a

> few miles. But that is a little too isolated for me. Nighttime out

there gets

> me worried about aliens and stuff like that. Sounds kinda silly,

but I have my

> suspicions that I may have had encounters with them. How else

could you

> explain this one childhood " dream " that I still remember that was

about aliens

> but I had it before I even heard about aliens?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I'm always conscientious of how I sound--both the volume and

intonations of my voice. I know a guy who's Autistic who either

speaks too loudly or too softly and my Autistic brother in law speaks

very quickly and mumbly-quiet. People often miss the excellent

things he says and just assume he's a dope.

>

>

> In a message dated 11/2/2005 10:35:16 AM Eastern Standard Time,

> mikecarrie01@y... writes:

>

> I'm 41 and I notice my sensitivity to noise is getting worse (as

is

> my sensitivity to smell and chemical sensitivity). I'm less quiet

> than I used to be but I've always had that problem of talking too

> quietly for the people around me. And I hate having to repeat

myself

> (though it's not the other person's fault).

>

>

>

> My family is kind of the opposite. My paternal uncle, who was very

likely

> AS, would talk too loud much of the time. I am like that and it is

amplified

> because I have a deep voice that carries well. Sometimes I

compensate by talking

> too quietly but don't realize it. Getting just the right volume is

a

> challenge.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I'm always conscientious of how I sound--both the volume and

intonations of my voice. I know a guy who's Autistic who either

speaks too loudly or too softly and my Autistic brother in law speaks

very quickly and mumbly-quiet. People often miss the excellent

things he says and just assume he's a dope.

>

>

> In a message dated 11/2/2005 10:35:16 AM Eastern Standard Time,

> mikecarrie01@y... writes:

>

> I'm 41 and I notice my sensitivity to noise is getting worse (as

is

> my sensitivity to smell and chemical sensitivity). I'm less quiet

> than I used to be but I've always had that problem of talking too

> quietly for the people around me. And I hate having to repeat

myself

> (though it's not the other person's fault).

>

>

>

> My family is kind of the opposite. My paternal uncle, who was very

likely

> AS, would talk too loud much of the time. I am like that and it is

amplified

> because I have a deep voice that carries well. Sometimes I

compensate by talking

> too quietly but don't realize it. Getting just the right volume is

a

> challenge.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I notice that I can seem either older or younger than others even if

they're my age.

>

> Humans are social animals so it makes sense that most will want to

be

> accepted. Being accepted is nice, but it shouldn't be on just any

terms. It would

> be best to find a group of people that fit your beliefs and

behavior so you

> won't have to compromise yourself.

>

> I was fortunate in that I tended to attract a few quality people in

school.

> These people joined up with me and we were very much alike. It was

interesting

> that I was something of the older-brother or even father figure to

them even

> though we were the same age. We did a lot of things, but I would

keep them

> in line, most of the time anyway and kept them away from doing

anything really

> bad.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I notice that I can seem either older or younger than others even if

they're my age.

>

> Humans are social animals so it makes sense that most will want to

be

> accepted. Being accepted is nice, but it shouldn't be on just any

terms. It would

> be best to find a group of people that fit your beliefs and

behavior so you

> won't have to compromise yourself.

>

> I was fortunate in that I tended to attract a few quality people in

school.

> These people joined up with me and we were very much alike. It was

interesting

> that I was something of the older-brother or even father figure to

them even

> though we were the same age. We did a lot of things, but I would

keep them

> in line, most of the time anyway and kept them away from doing

anything really

> bad.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I can come across as sarcastic and cold sometimes if I'm not careful.

I can tell if I'm doing that by others' reactions. I used to speak

quickly in order to keep up with my thoughts and because of ADD but

here in the south I had to slow down. I'll often lose train of my

thought now or blank out on others when they speak too slowly. (Maybe

I'll go to New York City and have a speedy conversation with some

people to feel better! )

>

>

> In a message dated 11/2/2005 3:50:04 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> mikecarrie01@y... writes:

>

> Yes, I'm always conscientious of how I sound--both the volume and

> intonations of my voice. I know a guy who's Autistic who either

> speaks too loudly or too softly and my Autistic brother in law

speaks

> very quickly and mumbly-quiet. People often miss the excellent

> things he says and just assume he's a dope.

>

>

>

> I sometimes speak too quickly, but not as much as when I was

younger.

> Specific intonations are a problem though. Sometimes I come off

sounding really

> sarcastic or even mean when I had no such intentions.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sometimes I come off sounding really sarcastic or even mean when I had

no such intentions.

..............

I also have this problem and it annoys me greatly. It's as if people

are listening to tone more than words.

When I listen to people, I listen to words more than tone. I

personally believe that this is the better way to listen because tone

is person specific and variable whereas vocabulary, word choice, and

diction are universal, but much more specific, even though personality

will inevitably influence them.

If people accuse me of being rude, snide, sarcastic, or mean when I am

not, it is an indicator to me that they haven't heard a thing I've

said, because if they had been listening to the WORDS they would know

that what was spoken was spoken without ill manner or intent.

This false accusation on their part paradoxically makes me rude,

snide, sarcastic or mean and THEN, when I have to repreat myself,

words are COMPLETELY lost upon the listeners because their new

interest is to say " See, I TOLD you you were being a jerk! "

Tom

[Guest guest]

I think they do a wax mold of the ear. They do that when they make

the earpieces for hearingaids and earplugs.

> >

> > I'm one Autistic adult highly annoyed by noise!

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and

> acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page

in the

> folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sure Noel Redding, who played with Jimi Hendrix in The Jimi

Hendrix Experience was an Aspie. He was shocked when he was sacked

from the group and he later isolated himself on a farm in Ireland.

> > >

> > > I'm one Autistic adult highly annoyed by noise!

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I thought about guitar, but I like that it's both a percussive and a

melodic instrument.

>

> I love base too!! It's about the only instrument I really, really

like. If

> there was a band with only a singer and a bass player, I'd buy all

their

> records. Just voice & drums is ok too, like the Creatures (Siouxie

&

> Budgie). Love Rush and Geddy Lee.

>

> And my aspie ex was a bass player in his youth. So, two more for

the

> statistics to support your theory. :-)

>

> Could it be because we enjoy repetitions rhythms (which affect

primarily the

> physical body and easily puts one in a pleasant semi-trance) more

than we

> enjoy melodies (which are designed to mainly elicit feelings)?

>

> Perhaps because we like things that are distinct rather than

flimsy, like we

> prefer firm touch rather than soft, and blunt truth to wishy-washy

> pleasantries?

>

> Inger

>

>

>

>

> Re: Noise annoys autistic children

>

>

> > I love bass! Geddy Lee and Alan Squire and a few I can't think of

off

> the top of my head. I have been wondering if there are a lot of

> Aspie bass players. We seem to like bass. I think that Geddy Lee

> (from Rush) is Aspergers.

>

[Guest guest]

I like Mastodon!

> >

> > This house is usually prett quiet, especially when my mother

isn't

> around.

> > She actually has a problem with how quiet I am because she can

> never tell if I

> > am awake or not. Part of that is because I tend to sleep odd

hours

> and the

> > rest of the time I am quiet. I mean, I usually sit right next to

> the TV (the

> > computer is close to it) so I don't need to have it out of the

> single digits on

> > the volume most of the time. Even when I'm farther away I still

> don't have

> > it over about 14 and I only play the radio when my mother isn't

> around,

> > largely because she can't stand heavy metal.

> >

> > The place I stay in Alabama is in town, but it is usually quiet

> there as

> > well. The old timber mill was kind of noisy, but it was so

constant

> you got used

> > to it. Mostly what you heard was the bark peeling machine, which

> was rather

> > loud, but they ran the trees through end to end so the noise just

> faded into

> > the background after a while. Indeed it got to the point that

the

> weekends and

> > after hours sounded odd not having that thing going. But they've

> been close

> > for a few years now thanks to incompetant management. Bad for

the

> local

> > economy, but good for the noise. Still, they are looking at

> bringing in new

> > business and manufacturing, which is a good thing and none of it

> will be as loud as

> > that old mill.

> >

> > The old home place is very quite, seeing that there is no one

> around for a

> > few miles. But that is a little too isolated for me. Nighttime

out

> there gets

> > me worried about aliens and stuff like that. Sounds kinda silly,

> but I have my

> > suspicions that I may have had encounters with them. How else

> could you

> > explain this one childhood " dream " that I still remember that

was

> about aliens

> > but I had it before I even heard about aliens?

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

" Sometimes I come off sounding really sarcastic or even mean when I

had no such intentions "

Ditto.

Also if my thoughts are racing or I am nervous I will sometimes talk

too fast - often I speak too quietly and am told to speak up - but if

I am passionate about something I think my volume goes up - I cannot

tell, but others tell me.

When I am extremely angry - like very I tend to speak quietly - if I

shout I am not overly angry - I have had to learn to shout with my

son as he seems to ignore ten requests asking nicely a lot of the

time and sometimes only responds when I shout :-( I dislike shouting.

>

>

> In a message dated 11/2/2005 3:50:04 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> mikecarrie01@y... writes:

>

> Yes, I'm always conscientious of how I sound--both the volume and

> intonations of my voice. I know a guy who's Autistic who either

> speaks too loudly or too softly and my Autistic brother in law

speaks

> very quickly and mumbly-quiet. People often miss the excellent

> things he says and just assume he's a dope.

>

>

>

> I sometimes speak too quickly, but not as much as when I was

younger.

> Specific intonations are a problem though. Sometimes I come off

sounding really

> sarcastic or even mean when I had no such intentions.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

There is no way. However, you might discreetly mention your concern to the landlord.Ender <ender@...> wrote:

Sort of off topic but... and may not be the best group to ask...what's a "tactful" way the tell your upstairs neighbor that they clump around like Clydesdales and bang around that it's rare that they don't wake my up at 1-2AM...I'm socialized enough to know that to say the above won't go over well with most people... I've never interacted with them (not even to pass in the common area shared by our Units and several others) in the year they have be there. I had hoped they would get quieter with time but instead it gotten worse...I know I probably should have approach them sooner but I don't want a conflict...Any thoughts...EnderIf you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@...

FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.

[Guest guest]

Yes, but generally I keep my thoughts to myself. On the few occasions

when I have insulted someone without them getting it, they've looked at

me with their patented blank stares and usually called me stupid for

saying things that no one could understand.

Tom

Anyone else here have the ability to insult a person so subtely that

they don't catch on?

[Guest guest]

Yes, I love his voice too! One of the few voices I really like besides

Plant's.

Inger

Re: Noise annoys autistic children

>

>

> > I love bass! Geddy Lee and Alan Squire and a few I can't think of

off

> the top of my head. I have been wondering if there are a lot of

> Aspie bass players. We seem to like bass. I think that Geddy Lee

> (from Rush) is Aspergers.

>

FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued.

Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the

folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

[Guest guest]

There he goes! Attracting the ladies again!

Chicks dig musicians.

Just remember Loner Mutant, is married.

Tom

>

> I love bass! Geddy Lee and Alan Squire and a few I can't think of

off

> the top of my head. I have been wondering if there are a lot of

> Aspie bass players. We seem to like bass. I think that Geddy Lee

> (from Rush) is Aspergers.

>

[Guest guest]

There he goes! Attracting the ladies again!

Chicks dig musicians.

Just remember Loner Mutant, is married.

Tom

>

> I love bass! Geddy Lee and Alan Squire and a few I can't think of

off

> the top of my head. I have been wondering if there are a lot of

> Aspie bass players. We seem to like bass. I think that Geddy Lee

> (from Rush) is Aspergers.

>

[Guest guest]

Nice...

> >

> > I love bass! Geddy Lee and Alan Squire and a few I can't think of

> off

> > the top of my head. I have been wondering if there are a lot of

> > Aspie bass players. We seem to like bass. I think that Geddy Lee

> > (from Rush) is Aspergers.

> >

>