Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 Aah, a sense of wonder. This is one of my most favorite feelings. I have at times lost this feeling and it was very distressing. My sense of humor is dry and/or wacky. I used to be pretty sarcastic but I found in moving to the south that most southerners don't appreciate that AT ALL. Most Americans don't get a dry sense of humor and most think wacky is weird or childish, more so women than men. Men usually like that I can laugh at The Three Stooges or a movie like Dumb and Dumber whereas most women are appalled! I'm like you though, where just the way something looks or sounds can have me cracking up for a while afterwards. I can picture the pants on the line or certain breakfast cereals and start laughing because I see what you find funny in them. It only takes the tiniest push in the humor direction for me to find something funny. I'm not very discriminating. > > > > I have spent so long in the NT world learning how to communicate > with > > them that I think part of my brain has atrophied. When I come here > > there's so much I want to say but I've lost some of my ability to > do > > so and get a headache trying so hard! One thing I've learned is > that > > I used a sense of humor as a coping technique--if I couldn't > connect > > with them I'd just joke around with them. Ususally they either > don't > > have a sense of humor themselves, or they don't get my sense of > > humor, or they thought I was being inappropriate (which I'm sure I > > often was). At least I was getting something out of it, if they > > weren't (it's fun having a sense of humor)and it served to turn > their > > attention away from me (they don't like quiet people who aren't all > > animated like them). My autistic brother-in-law does the same thing > > with humor--he makes puns out of what people say, but again they > > don't appreciate it! But here I can be myself and I don't have to > > joke around, which is what made me realize joking around was a > coping > > technique. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I really long for some of the things the way they used to be such as before electricity (not that I would like to necessarily go without it)when people went to bed when it got dark and got up when it is light. We could probably adjust our schedules to follow this. Not quite like the birds, I'm sure, because it's like a switch with them-- dark equals sleep, light equals wake. (I'm envious). My cockatiels used to cry for their cover when it was time for them to go to sleep. I've heard that before electricity people slept 10 hours a night (but I'm really thinking this is because they were so exhausted, not having electricity to make their chores easier!). > > I wish there were earplugs that could filter out the annoying sounds > but not bird song and pleasant sounds (although bird song can be > annoying too, if they wake you up too early in the morning). :-) > > Inger > > > > > > > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and > acceptance. Everyone is valued. > > Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the > folder marked " Other FAM Sites. " > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 Sort of off topic but... and may not be the best group to ask... what's a " tactful " way the tell your upstairs neighbor that they clump around like Clydesdales and bang around that it's rare that they don't wake my up at 1-2AM... I'm socialized enough to know that to say the above won't go over well with most people... I've never interacted with them (not even to pass in the common area shared by our Units and several others) in the year they have be there. I had hoped they would get quieter with time but instead it gotten worse... I know I probably should have approach them sooner but I don't want a conflict... Any thoughts... Ender Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 , I created this place because of what you have said below. The REAL world is a place that numbs my mind. I wanted to create some forums where I could be me and be true to myself. And I wanted to create a place where OTHERS could be true to THEMSELVES. There are plenty of Aspie groups out there. The bigger ones have all different kinds of Aspies on them who are looking for all kinds of different things. Mostly I see them as places to socialize, which is fine, but this is a place to REALLY get in touch with others and to get in touch with one's self too. I consider this place my home away from home, and...sometimes...my home. Tom Administrator When I come here there's so much I want to say but I've lost some of my ability to do so and get a headache trying so hard! But here I can be myself and I don't have to joke around, which is what made me realize joking around was a coping technique. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I would type a note to leave under the door which says: " Hello, Just a polite note from one of your neighbors. The floors seem to conduct noise really well. Would you mind treading a bit lighter during the nighttimes? If it continues, perhaps I'll talk to the landlord about getting rugs or some better padding/insulation installed. Thanks. " Implied in there is a threat to go to the landlord if they don't keep it down, but you haven't accused THEM of anything regardless. All you've done is criticized the floor. Tom Administrator Sort of off topic but... and may not be the best group to ask... what's a " tactful " way the tell your upstairs neighbor that they clump around like Clydesdales and bang around that it's rare that they don't wake my up at 1-2AM... I'm socialized enough to know that to say the above won't go over well with most people... I've never interacted with them (not even to pass in the common area shared by our Units and several others) in the year they have be there. I had hoped they would get quieter with time but instead it gotten worse... I know I probably should have approach them sooner but I don't want a conflict... Any thoughts... Ender Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I think I would find it difficult in some ways - like no computer :-( etc, but I do love candlelight the visual affects of it and I also like the dark, so hardly can imagine myself going to bed as soon as it is dark - if anything I become more awake :-) I used to love being out in the dark as a child. I have learnt as I am older that it is not nececassarily safe though, but I still love gazing at the stars, the orange pumkin glow of street lamps especially reflected of slick wet black tarmac, or moon light on roof slates. Still now the clocks have gone back here it is getting dark way too early, like starting to get dark between 4 - 5pm. Still the idea of 10 hours sleep sounds good. I'm personally more of a night person that has been forced into getting up early due to having to get child ready for school :-( > > I really long for some of the things the way they used to be such as > before electricity (not that I would like to necessarily go without > it)when people went to bed when it got dark and got up when it is > light. We could probably adjust our schedules to follow this. Not > quite like the birds, I'm sure, because it's like a switch with them-- > dark equals sleep, light equals wake. (I'm envious). My cockatiels > used to cry for their cover when it was time for them to go to sleep. > I've heard that before electricity people slept 10 hours a night (but > I'm really thinking this is because they were so exhausted, not > having electricity to make their chores easier!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 Do a lot of Aspies like heavy metal? I've heard that these days it's often performed by excellent frustrated musicians (some classically trained) who can't find a niche in the music industry since it's so commercialized and you have to fit the 'look' they want. I often listen to the heavy metal channel on music channel on cable to find these and some are amazing. There's an AMAZING drummer in a group called Mastodon. Maybe some are themselves Austistic or Aspergers. > > This house is usually prett quiet, especially when my mother isn't around. > She actually has a problem with how quiet I am because she can never tell if I > am awake or not. Part of that is because I tend to sleep odd hours and the > rest of the time I am quiet. I mean, I usually sit right next to the TV (the > computer is close to it) so I don't need to have it out of the single digits on > the volume most of the time. Even when I'm farther away I still don't have > it over about 14 and I only play the radio when my mother isn't around, > largely because she can't stand heavy metal. > > The place I stay in Alabama is in town, but it is usually quiet there as > well. The old timber mill was kind of noisy, but it was so constant you got used > to it. Mostly what you heard was the bark peeling machine, which was rather > loud, but they ran the trees through end to end so the noise just faded into > the background after a while. Indeed it got to the point that the weekends and > after hours sounded odd not having that thing going. But they've been close > for a few years now thanks to incompetant management. Bad for the local > economy, but good for the noise. Still, they are looking at bringing in new > business and manufacturing, which is a good thing and none of it will be as loud as > that old mill. > > The old home place is very quite, seeing that there is no one around for a > few miles. But that is a little too isolated for me. Nighttime out there gets > me worried about aliens and stuff like that. Sounds kinda silly, but I have my > suspicions that I may have had encounters with them. How else could you > explain this one childhood " dream " that I still remember that was about aliens > but I had it before I even heard about aliens? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 Do a lot of Aspies like heavy metal? I've heard that these days it's often performed by excellent frustrated musicians (some classically trained) who can't find a niche in the music industry since it's so commercialized and you have to fit the 'look' they want. I often listen to the heavy metal channel on music channel on cable to find these and some are amazing. There's an AMAZING drummer in a group called Mastodon. Maybe some are themselves Austistic or Aspergers. > > This house is usually prett quiet, especially when my mother isn't around. > She actually has a problem with how quiet I am because she can never tell if I > am awake or not. Part of that is because I tend to sleep odd hours and the > rest of the time I am quiet. I mean, I usually sit right next to the TV (the > computer is close to it) so I don't need to have it out of the single digits on > the volume most of the time. Even when I'm farther away I still don't have > it over about 14 and I only play the radio when my mother isn't around, > largely because she can't stand heavy metal. > > The place I stay in Alabama is in town, but it is usually quiet there as > well. The old timber mill was kind of noisy, but it was so constant you got used > to it. Mostly what you heard was the bark peeling machine, which was rather > loud, but they ran the trees through end to end so the noise just faded into > the background after a while. Indeed it got to the point that the weekends and > after hours sounded odd not having that thing going. But they've been close > for a few years now thanks to incompetant management. Bad for the local > economy, but good for the noise. Still, they are looking at bringing in new > business and manufacturing, which is a good thing and none of it will be as loud as > that old mill. > > The old home place is very quite, seeing that there is no one around for a > few miles. But that is a little too isolated for me. Nighttime out there gets > me worried about aliens and stuff like that. Sounds kinda silly, but I have my > suspicions that I may have had encounters with them. How else could you > explain this one childhood " dream " that I still remember that was about aliens > but I had it before I even heard about aliens? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 Yes, I'm always conscientious of how I sound--both the volume and intonations of my voice. I know a guy who's Autistic who either speaks too loudly or too softly and my Autistic brother in law speaks very quickly and mumbly-quiet. People often miss the excellent things he says and just assume he's a dope. > > > In a message dated 11/2/2005 10:35:16 AM Eastern Standard Time, > mikecarrie01@y... writes: > > I'm 41 and I notice my sensitivity to noise is getting worse (as is > my sensitivity to smell and chemical sensitivity). I'm less quiet > than I used to be but I've always had that problem of talking too > quietly for the people around me. And I hate having to repeat myself > (though it's not the other person's fault). > > > > My family is kind of the opposite. My paternal uncle, who was very likely > AS, would talk too loud much of the time. I am like that and it is amplified > because I have a deep voice that carries well. Sometimes I compensate by talking > too quietly but don't realize it. Getting just the right volume is a > challenge. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 Yes, I'm always conscientious of how I sound--both the volume and intonations of my voice. I know a guy who's Autistic who either speaks too loudly or too softly and my Autistic brother in law speaks very quickly and mumbly-quiet. People often miss the excellent things he says and just assume he's a dope. > > > In a message dated 11/2/2005 10:35:16 AM Eastern Standard Time, > mikecarrie01@y... writes: > > I'm 41 and I notice my sensitivity to noise is getting worse (as is > my sensitivity to smell and chemical sensitivity). I'm less quiet > than I used to be but I've always had that problem of talking too > quietly for the people around me. And I hate having to repeat myself > (though it's not the other person's fault). > > > > My family is kind of the opposite. My paternal uncle, who was very likely > AS, would talk too loud much of the time. I am like that and it is amplified > because I have a deep voice that carries well. Sometimes I compensate by talking > too quietly but don't realize it. Getting just the right volume is a > challenge. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I notice that I can seem either older or younger than others even if they're my age. > > Humans are social animals so it makes sense that most will want to be > accepted. Being accepted is nice, but it shouldn't be on just any terms. It would > be best to find a group of people that fit your beliefs and behavior so you > won't have to compromise yourself. > > I was fortunate in that I tended to attract a few quality people in school. > These people joined up with me and we were very much alike. It was interesting > that I was something of the older-brother or even father figure to them even > though we were the same age. We did a lot of things, but I would keep them > in line, most of the time anyway and kept them away from doing anything really > bad. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I notice that I can seem either older or younger than others even if they're my age. > > Humans are social animals so it makes sense that most will want to be > accepted. Being accepted is nice, but it shouldn't be on just any terms. It would > be best to find a group of people that fit your beliefs and behavior so you > won't have to compromise yourself. > > I was fortunate in that I tended to attract a few quality people in school. > These people joined up with me and we were very much alike. It was interesting > that I was something of the older-brother or even father figure to them even > though we were the same age. We did a lot of things, but I would keep them > in line, most of the time anyway and kept them away from doing anything really > bad. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I can come across as sarcastic and cold sometimes if I'm not careful. I can tell if I'm doing that by others' reactions. I used to speak quickly in order to keep up with my thoughts and because of ADD but here in the south I had to slow down. I'll often lose train of my thought now or blank out on others when they speak too slowly. (Maybe I'll go to New York City and have a speedy conversation with some people to feel better! ) > > > In a message dated 11/2/2005 3:50:04 PM Eastern Standard Time, > mikecarrie01@y... writes: > > Yes, I'm always conscientious of how I sound--both the volume and > intonations of my voice. I know a guy who's Autistic who either > speaks too loudly or too softly and my Autistic brother in law speaks > very quickly and mumbly-quiet. People often miss the excellent > things he says and just assume he's a dope. > > > > I sometimes speak too quickly, but not as much as when I was younger. > Specific intonations are a problem though. Sometimes I come off sounding really > sarcastic or even mean when I had no such intentions. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 Sometimes I come off sounding really sarcastic or even mean when I had no such intentions. .............. I also have this problem and it annoys me greatly. It's as if people are listening to tone more than words. When I listen to people, I listen to words more than tone. I personally believe that this is the better way to listen because tone is person specific and variable whereas vocabulary, word choice, and diction are universal, but much more specific, even though personality will inevitably influence them. If people accuse me of being rude, snide, sarcastic, or mean when I am not, it is an indicator to me that they haven't heard a thing I've said, because if they had been listening to the WORDS they would know that what was spoken was spoken without ill manner or intent. This false accusation on their part paradoxically makes me rude, snide, sarcastic or mean and THEN, when I have to repreat myself, words are COMPLETELY lost upon the listeners because their new interest is to say " See, I TOLD you you were being a jerk! " Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I think they do a wax mold of the ear. They do that when they make the earpieces for hearingaids and earplugs. > > > > I'm one Autistic adult highly annoyed by noise! > > > > > > > > > > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and > acceptance. Everyone is valued. > > Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the > folder marked " Other FAM Sites. " > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I'm sure Noel Redding, who played with Jimi Hendrix in The Jimi Hendrix Experience was an Aspie. He was shocked when he was sacked from the group and he later isolated himself on a farm in Ireland. > > > > > > I'm one Autistic adult highly annoyed by noise! > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I thought about guitar, but I like that it's both a percussive and a melodic instrument. > > I love base too!! It's about the only instrument I really, really like. If > there was a band with only a singer and a bass player, I'd buy all their > records. Just voice & drums is ok too, like the Creatures (Siouxie & > Budgie). Love Rush and Geddy Lee. > > And my aspie ex was a bass player in his youth. So, two more for the > statistics to support your theory. :-) > > Could it be because we enjoy repetitions rhythms (which affect primarily the > physical body and easily puts one in a pleasant semi-trance) more than we > enjoy melodies (which are designed to mainly elicit feelings)? > > Perhaps because we like things that are distinct rather than flimsy, like we > prefer firm touch rather than soft, and blunt truth to wishy-washy > pleasantries? > > Inger > > > > > Re: Noise annoys autistic children > > > > I love bass! Geddy Lee and Alan Squire and a few I can't think of off > the top of my head. I have been wondering if there are a lot of > Aspie bass players. We seem to like bass. I think that Geddy Lee > (from Rush) is Aspergers. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I like Mastodon! > > > > This house is usually prett quiet, especially when my mother isn't > around. > > She actually has a problem with how quiet I am because she can > never tell if I > > am awake or not. Part of that is because I tend to sleep odd hours > and the > > rest of the time I am quiet. I mean, I usually sit right next to > the TV (the > > computer is close to it) so I don't need to have it out of the > single digits on > > the volume most of the time. Even when I'm farther away I still > don't have > > it over about 14 and I only play the radio when my mother isn't > around, > > largely because she can't stand heavy metal. > > > > The place I stay in Alabama is in town, but it is usually quiet > there as > > well. The old timber mill was kind of noisy, but it was so constant > you got used > > to it. Mostly what you heard was the bark peeling machine, which > was rather > > loud, but they ran the trees through end to end so the noise just > faded into > > the background after a while. Indeed it got to the point that the > weekends and > > after hours sounded odd not having that thing going. But they've > been close > > for a few years now thanks to incompetant management. Bad for the > local > > economy, but good for the noise. Still, they are looking at > bringing in new > > business and manufacturing, which is a good thing and none of it > will be as loud as > > that old mill. > > > > The old home place is very quite, seeing that there is no one > around for a > > few miles. But that is a little too isolated for me. Nighttime out > there gets > > me worried about aliens and stuff like that. Sounds kinda silly, > but I have my > > suspicions that I may have had encounters with them. How else > could you > > explain this one childhood " dream " that I still remember that was > about aliens > > but I had it before I even heard about aliens? > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 " Sometimes I come off sounding really sarcastic or even mean when I had no such intentions " Ditto. Also if my thoughts are racing or I am nervous I will sometimes talk too fast - often I speak too quietly and am told to speak up - but if I am passionate about something I think my volume goes up - I cannot tell, but others tell me. When I am extremely angry - like very I tend to speak quietly - if I shout I am not overly angry - I have had to learn to shout with my son as he seems to ignore ten requests asking nicely a lot of the time and sometimes only responds when I shout :-( I dislike shouting. > > > In a message dated 11/2/2005 3:50:04 PM Eastern Standard Time, > mikecarrie01@y... writes: > > Yes, I'm always conscientious of how I sound--both the volume and > intonations of my voice. I know a guy who's Autistic who either > speaks too loudly or too softly and my Autistic brother in law speaks > very quickly and mumbly-quiet. People often miss the excellent > things he says and just assume he's a dope. > > > > I sometimes speak too quickly, but not as much as when I was younger. > Specific intonations are a problem though. Sometimes I come off sounding really > sarcastic or even mean when I had no such intentions. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 There is no way. However, you might discreetly mention your concern to the landlord.Ender <ender@...> wrote: Sort of off topic but... and may not be the best group to ask...what's a "tactful" way the tell your upstairs neighbor that they clump around like Clydesdales and bang around that it's rare that they don't wake my up at 1-2AM...I'm socialized enough to know that to say the above won't go over well with most people... I've never interacted with them (not even to pass in the common area shared by our Units and several others) in the year they have be there. I had hoped they would get quieter with time but instead it gotten worse...I know I probably should have approach them sooner but I don't want a conflict...Any thoughts...EnderIf you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@... FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2005 Report Share Posted November 3, 2005 Yes, but generally I keep my thoughts to myself. On the few occasions when I have insulted someone without them getting it, they've looked at me with their patented blank stares and usually called me stupid for saying things that no one could understand. Tom Anyone else here have the ability to insult a person so subtely that they don't catch on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2005 Report Share Posted November 3, 2005 Yes, I love his voice too! One of the few voices I really like besides Plant's. Inger Re: Noise annoys autistic children > > > > I love bass! Geddy Lee and Alan Squire and a few I can't think of off > the top of my head. I have been wondering if there are a lot of > Aspie bass players. We seem to like bass. I think that Geddy Lee > (from Rush) is Aspergers. > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance. Everyone is valued. Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the folder marked " Other FAM Sites. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2005 Report Share Posted November 3, 2005 There he goes! Attracting the ladies again! Chicks dig musicians. Just remember Loner Mutant, is married. Tom > > I love bass! Geddy Lee and Alan Squire and a few I can't think of off > the top of my head. I have been wondering if there are a lot of > Aspie bass players. We seem to like bass. I think that Geddy Lee > (from Rush) is Aspergers. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2005 Report Share Posted November 3, 2005 There he goes! Attracting the ladies again! Chicks dig musicians. Just remember Loner Mutant, is married. Tom > > I love bass! Geddy Lee and Alan Squire and a few I can't think of off > the top of my head. I have been wondering if there are a lot of > Aspie bass players. We seem to like bass. I think that Geddy Lee > (from Rush) is Aspergers. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2005 Report Share Posted November 3, 2005 Nice... > > > > I love bass! Geddy Lee and Alan Squire and a few I can't think of > off > > the top of my head. I have been wondering if there are a lot of > > Aspie bass players. We seem to like bass. I think that Geddy Lee > > (from Rush) is Aspergers. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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