Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 15, 2009

Hope Karac feels better.....I'm curious about the DVD player too

Hugs to you Pat K...

e

From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Monday, September 14, 2009 8:50:00 AMSubject: Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

Karac has been sick, and I haven't had an opportunity to do anything about the DVD player, but I will see about it Wednesday. Thanks for asking

How are you and Gabe doing? I have already prayed for you and the others this morning. I try to do it the first thing in the morning. blessings, Pat K Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

Pat,

I'm so glad that your daughter is coming to the BBQ. That is the start of her coming around. You are a godsend in Karac life! This is probably after the fact of the bbq that I am writing, but I'm usually a few days to a week behind my emails. Sorry....but my thoughts and prayers are with you, karac and your DIL.

In a message dated 9/6/2009 9:19:54 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time, ljdjd1234 (DOT) com writes:

, I have no idea. I simply don't know what to do.

I'll have Karac all day today. We are going to one of my daughters for an outdoor family BBQ. Karac will love that. They

have a big back yard and a swimming pool; also they all adore him; in fact most of the

cousins who will be there did ABA with Karac in the summers when they were in high school.

DIL and family will be there. This is a good thing because until everybody started praying for her,she wouldn't come

to any of the family get togethers. However, Karac will ride to and from with DH and me. I'm glad about that because

unfortunately, the worse place for Karac to be is with his family!

I am so sorry that Karac didn't have a mother like you and the others on this list, but it is what it is. Love and blessings, Pat K

September 15, 2009

I hope karac is doing better. DH has been sick for 2 days. Throwing up and sick on the stomach. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 15, 2009

Karac is feeling better. He did very well at music therapy tonight. He lasted 55 minutes. I had a chance to check Karac's room and his DVD player is back. Yea. That prevented a showdown; I'm such a coward. LOL, LOL, Pat K

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

I hope karac is doing better. DH has been sick for 2 days. Throwing up and sick on the stomach. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 15, 2009

DVD is back in Karac's room. I didn't have to get tough. LOL,LOL,; Karac is feeling better. He did very well in music therapy tonight.

How are and Lily doing? hugs back to you. Pat K

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

Pat,

I'm so glad that your daughter is coming to the BBQ. That is the start of her coming around. You are a godsend in Karac life! This is probably after the fact of the bbq that I am writing, but I'm usually a few days to a week behind my emails. Sorry....but my thoughts and prayers are with you, karac and your DIL.

In a message dated 9/6/2009 9:19:54 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time, ljdjd1234 (DOT) com writes:

, I have no idea. I simply don't know what to do.

I'll have Karac all day today. We are going to one of my daughters for an outdoor family BBQ. Karac will love that. They

have a big back yard and a swimming pool; also they all adore him; in fact most of the

cousins who will be there did ABA with Karac in the summers when they were in high school.

DIL and family will be there. This is a good thing because until everybody started praying for her,she wouldn't come

to any of the family get togethers. However, Karac will ride to and from with DH and me. I'm glad about that because

unfortunately, the worse place for Karac to be is with his family!

I am so sorry that Karac didn't have a mother like you and the others on this list, but it is what it is. Love and blessings, Pat K

September 15, 2009

Happy to hear this Pat K...

J

From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Monday, September 14, 2009 9:14:10 PMSubject: Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

Karac is feeling better. He did very well at music therapy tonight. He lasted 55 minutes. I had a chance to check Karac's room and his DVD player is back. Yea. That prevented a showdown; I'm such a coward. LOL, LOL, Pat K Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

I hope karac is doing better. DH has been sick for 2 days. Throwing up and sick on the stomach. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 15, 2009

Yes!! She is coming around!! I'm so happy for you!

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

Pat,

I'm so glad that your daughter is coming to the BBQ. That is the start of her coming around. You are a godsend in Karac life! This is probably after the fact of the bbq that I am writing, but I'm usually a few days to a week behind my emails. Sorry....but my thoughts and prayers are with you, karac and your DIL.

In a message dated 9/6/2009 9:19:54 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time, ljdjd1234 (DOT) com writes:

, I have no idea. I simply don't know what to do.

I'll have Karac all day today. We are going to one of my daughters for an outdoor family BBQ. Karac will love that. They

have a big back yard and a swimming pool; also they all adore him; in fact most of the

cousins who will be there did ABA with Karac in the summers when they were in high school.

DIL and family will be there. This is a good thing because until everybody started praying for her,she wouldn't come

to any of the family get togethers. However, Karac will ride to and from with DH and me. I'm glad about that because

unfortunately, the worse place for Karac to be is with his family!

I am so sorry that Karac didn't have a mother like you and the others on this list, but it is what it is. Love and blessings, Pat K

September 15, 2009

Pat it is called keeping the peace. LolSent from my iPhoneGwen HebertOn Sep 14, 2009, at 9:14 PM, pkuenstler@... wrote:

Karac is feeling better. He did very well at music therapy tonight. He lasted 55 minutes. I had a chance to check Karac's room and his DVD player is back. Yea. That prevented a showdown; I'm such a coward. LOL, LOL, Pat K

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

I hope karac is doing better. DH has been sick for 2 days. Throwing up and sick on the stomach. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

Pat,

Oh honey! I'm so sorry that you and karack and your DIL are going thru this. Remind how old Karac is again? Does it have to do with puberty extremes? It sounded like your DIL was handling things so well with her coming to the family get together's and such. I think she is just starting to doubt her ability. Maybe there are classes in the area for parents tactics for kids on the ASD...Ways to help with and get past behaviors.

I wasn't sure what the term "TD" was. My son is on Risperdal and it has helped sooooo much with his aggressive behaviour. Pat, if you want to talk offline, I could give you my phone number if you like.

I'm saying prayers for you, Karac, & DIL as I type.

*******hugs**************

In a message dated 9/16/2009 9:05:57 A.M. Mountain Daylight Time, pkuenstler@... writes:

Oh, Lois, I'm so sad today. DIL is talking about putting Karac away. He has regressed more at home, and she can't handle him. I use to be able to take him, but I have Ayden now as well. I can handle him and the school can handle him, but she doesn't seem willing to make any kind of accomodations for him. How did you get J through these difficult years? Do you have any suggestions. She is opposed to trying any meds again because of his getting TD from Risperdal and Geodon last time. Pat K Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

Pat,

Oh honey! I'm so sorry that you and karack and your DIL are going thru this. Remind how old Karac is again? Does it have to do with puberty extremes? It sounded like your DIL was handling things so well with her coming to the family get together's and such. I think she is just starting to doubt her ability. Maybe there are classes in the area for parents tactics for kids on the ASD...Ways to help with and get past behaviors.

I wasn't sure what the term "TD" was. My son is on Risperdal and it has helped sooooo much with his aggressive behaviour. Pat, if you want to talk offline, I could give you my phone number if you like.

I'm saying prayers for you, Karac, & DIL as I type.

*******hugs**************

In a message dated 9/16/2009 9:05:57 A.M. Mountain Daylight Time, pkuenstler@... writes:

Oh, Lois, I'm so sad today. DIL is talking about putting Karac away. He has regressed more at home, and she can't handle him. I use to be able to take him, but I have Ayden now as well. I can handle him and the school can handle him, but she doesn't seem willing to make any kind of accomodations for him. How did you get J through these difficult years? Do you have any suggestions. She is opposed to trying any meds again because of his getting TD from Risperdal and Geodon last time. Pat K Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

Gwen, I like your definition of "coward". I do try to keep the peace. You are a very dear person. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

I hope karac is doing better. DH has been sick for 2 days. Throwing up and sick on the stomach. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

Oh, Lois, I'm so sad today. DIL is talking about putting Karac away. He has regressed more at home, and she can't handle him. I use to be able to take him, but I have Ayden now as well. I can handle him and the school can handle him, but she doesn't seem willing to make any kind of accomodations for him. How did you get J through these difficult years? Do you have any suggestions. She is opposed to trying any meds again because of his getting TD from Risperdal and Geodon last time. Pat K

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

Oh pat! I am so sorry! I will be praying! This is breaking my heart!

Stacie

- Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it

in the day program. Lois Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

Sent via BlackBerry by AT & T

September 16, 2009

Pat K.,

I am so sorry this is happening. Could it be just an end of my rope situation and maybe a small break (do you have respite there?) of a few days or a week would really help her. Sometimes it does get overwhelming. I was talking to a friend last night and she said she was so tired of thinking all the time. It is hard when you keep trying and trying and trying and things just come back over and over or things change and get worse again. For me it goes in cycles and when the bad lasts to long it gets harder to remember the growth and the good. The only other thing I can say is if she is truly done and cannot do it anymore it is better for Karac to move on. It sounds bad but if the situation at home has become negative and she has given up then it will only get worse for all of them. At least you could try and find the best possible place for him and it is not an emergency placement situation where

you have to take what is available. Do you know what is available for him? Maybe there is a part-time placement that would work. I'm not sure but I would start looking into it in case just so you have the info and you know where you think he should go and maybe even put him on a wait list. It may help her realize what it means and she may change her mind. I will pray that this turns out best for Karac and he gets everything he needs. Love ya, Kellie

From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 10:04:38 AMSubject: Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

Oh, Lois, I'm so sad today. DIL is talking about putting Karac away. He has regressed more at home, and she can't handle him. I use to be able to take him, but I have Ayden now as well. I can handle him and the school can handle him, but she doesn't seem willing to make any kind of accomodations for him. How did you get J through these difficult years? Do you have any suggestions. She is opposed to trying any meds again because of his getting TD from Risperdal and Geodon last time. Pat K Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

Pat K.,

I am so sorry this is happening. Could it be just an end of my rope situation and maybe a small break (do you have respite there?) of a few days or a week would really help her. Sometimes it does get overwhelming. I was talking to a friend last night and she said she was so tired of thinking all the time. It is hard when you keep trying and trying and trying and things just come back over and over or things change and get worse again. For me it goes in cycles and when the bad lasts to long it gets harder to remember the growth and the good. The only other thing I can say is if she is truly done and cannot do it anymore it is better for Karac to move on. It sounds bad but if the situation at home has become negative and she has given up then it will only get worse for all of them. At least you could try and find the best possible place for him and it is not an emergency placement situation where

you have to take what is available. Do you know what is available for him? Maybe there is a part-time placement that would work. I'm not sure but I would start looking into it in case just so you have the info and you know where you think he should go and maybe even put him on a wait list. It may help her realize what it means and she may change her mind. I will pray that this turns out best for Karac and he gets everything he needs. Love ya, Kellie

From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 10:04:38 AMSubject: Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

Oh, Lois, I'm so sad today. DIL is talking about putting Karac away. He has regressed more at home, and she can't handle him. I use to be able to take him, but I have Ayden now as well. I can handle him and the school can handle him, but she doesn't seem willing to make any kind of accomodations for him. How did you get J through these difficult years? Do you have any suggestions. She is opposed to trying any meds again because of his getting TD from Risperdal and Geodon last time. Pat K Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

Pat, I am so sorry. I really think she just needs a break. It sounds like you were taking him often and so she had that break and now she doesn't. It gets to be exhausting. I agree with risperdal works wonders for Caleb. The only problem is that it causes weight gain. Is there anyway you and your daughters can take him for the weekend to give her a break? Kids always misbehave for their parents ASD or not. Is there a behavioral therapist in the area? Even a social worker could help her learn how to deal with Karac. I will be praying for your family.

autism From: crmbueno@...Date: Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:50:40 -0400Subject: Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

Pat,

Oh honey! I'm so sorry that you and karack and your DIL are going thru this. Remind how old Karac is again? Does it have to do with puberty extremes? It sounded like your DIL was handling things so well with her coming to the family get together's and such. I think she is just starting to doubt her ability. Maybe there are classes in the area for parents tactics for kids on the ASD...Ways to help with and get past behaviors.

I wasn't sure what the term "TD" was. My son is on Risperdal and it has helped sooooo much with his aggressive behaviour. Pat, if you want to talk offline, I could give you my phone number if you like.

I'm saying prayers for you, Karac, & DIL as I type.

*******hugs**************

In a message dated 9/16/2009 9:05:57 A.M. Mountain Daylight Time, pkuenstleraol writes:

Oh, Lois, I'm so sad today. DIL is talking about putting Karac away. He has regressed more at home, and she can't handle him. I use to be able to take him, but I have Ayden now as well. I can handle him and the school can handle him, but she doesn't seem willing to make any kind of accomodations for him. How did you get J through these difficult years? Do you have any suggestions. She is opposed to trying any meds again because of his getting TD from Risperdal and Geodon last time. Pat K Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

Yes, it's puberty. Karac has just turned 17. DIL would never take any classes. When I

was doing an ABA program with Karac, my ABA person wanted to teach her, but she

was unwilling. We will get through this; we always do.

Thanks for the offer to talk on the phone, but email is easier for me. I have so many

distractions. You are sweet to offer. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

Yes, it's puberty. Karac has just turned 17. DIL would never take any classes. When I

was doing an ABA program with Karac, my ABA person wanted to teach her, but she

was unwilling. We will get through this; we always do.

Thanks for the offer to talk on the phone, but email is easier for me. I have so many

distractions. You are sweet to offer. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009

Thanks for the prayers. We need them. I cannot bare to think of Karac being put away.

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL Sent via BlackBerry by AT & T

------------------------------------

September 16, 2009

Kellie, you always have such good suggestions, but I don't know how much more help DIL could have.

I pick Karac up from school except when he has Equest and Activity therapy. I feed him supper when I

have him; when his brother has baseball practice I keep him until 8:30 and he goes to bed at 9:00 or 10:00 and

sleeps through the night. I have him on Saturday and Sundays most of the day. I don't have any problem with

him. He and I ride bikes. We color; I have him read, write, type spelling words on the computer;or we watch movies. I have two special

ed teachers that help me on the weekends; the woman does academics with him and the young man rides bikes with

him or goes to a neighbor boy's house to shoot baskets or takes him on errands in the community for various activities.

I take him to Spirit Horse on Mondays, and I stay with him while he has music therapy. When DIL has to go to

work early, I go put he and his siblings on the bus.

DIL has had paid help,but everyone quits after one or two days because nobody can stand the chaos!!

DIL works, but I work too; plus my husband and I keep her 5 month old grandson every day. I think if anyone needs respite, it's me. LOL

Just kidding; I don't need respite; I just need for DIL to discipline Karac's siblings; so they don't drive him crazy!! They are 8 and 11 and

have never been trained. She has no idea, but Karac is the best most disciplined kid that she has; you don't have to pick up after Karac at all. He puts his dishes in the sink and his trash in the garbage.

Now that I have vented all this; let me say that DIL has her strengths; she does all the paper work to get Karac the therapies that he needs; she works hard at her job; she puts up with me; she has a good sense of humor, she is neat in her person and well groomed, and she wants to be a good mother. She just doesn't know how and is not willing for anyone to teach her and Karac has suffered for it.

PK

..

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

J use to do music therapy. He did well with it too. I wish they still had it in the day program. Lois

Re: say a prayer for Karac and DIL

September 16, 2009