Pity Party

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/10/02 10:25:41 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

duffey48@... writes:

<< Interest I welcome. It's the rude " if you only did this, that wouldn't

happen " . I actually haven't had that in a long time because no one else

seems to figure her out, so no unwanted *suggestions* lately!!! Boy, have

I heard some doozies though!!!!! My SIL's SIL (who she hates) once told

me

at a party ... " well, why don't you just make her stay " .....one

*well-meaning*

guy once told me " if you talk to Maddie in a room with an echo, like a

bathroom, she'll learn to talk " ...another... " why can't you just teach her

not

to climb railings " .....I swear, after a while, you just don't have the

energy

to even answer!!!! I never mind questions...you can turn every one of

the

above statements into an honest question filled with respect....for

instance.. " why does Maddie climb roofs and high railings " or " what would

happen if you made Maddie stay at a party " or " why doesn't Maddie

talk " ......see what I mean??? ;-)

Donna

>>

Gee Donna....I don't think I have faced such blatant ignorance yet! LOL

Most people ask me a why question that is really meant to understand why, or

they just stare and I explain about Seth. That happens much more now that he

is getting older and his strange little quirks look a lot stranger! LOL

Gail :-)

[Guest guest]

Patty:

I have been having my own Pity Party today. Just don't know what is wrong. I went with the lady across the street to listen to a band that was playing for the Blues Fest that was being held in Duluth, MN. I haven't been out in a bar let alone a place with dancing since ?????? I was standing listening to the band and a real nice looking man came up and asked me to dance. I was so flatter that someone had noticed me at my age and also still 40 too fat. But when I told my husband, he asked if the cane the guy and was white. My daughter didn't think I should feel good about it. But I guess she is coming from that I am her Mother and I shouldn't have men ask me to dance except her Dad. Well, I was flattered but I didn't dance because I haven't dance in so long I don't know if I know how.

Sue/WI

[Guest guest]

Sue,

I also am flattered when I get a compliment, being asked to dance is one of those! I am 47 and have my share of fat face and abdominal girth, however when I was younger I was pretty good looking. I have accepted myself as I am, my husband & I ran across some pics from when I was 35, running 10K's for exercise, laughed a lot and ate like a healthy vegetarian [nothing would pass my lips until I assessed the nutritional value of what I was doing to my digestive track].

Those days are gone but I still think I am a very worthwhile human being... OK, I just ate a few potato chips with my evening cranberry juice and strawberries....flattery is nice. Now I say thank you and dance if I want.

At my pity party we are going to have chocolate and champagne, alternatives are allowed as long as they are not red meat. I think we should post on-line pics of ourselves for the party. Wanna come Sue? I promise to ask you to dance....

Patty

-----Original Message-----From: ROSELLE50@... [mailto:ROSELLE50@...]Sent: Monday, August 12, 2002 12:32 AM Subject: Re: [ ] Pity PartyPatty:I have been having my own Pity Party today. Just don't know what is wrong. I went with the lady across the street to listen to a band that was playing for the Blues Fest that was being held in Duluth, MN. I haven't been out in a bar let alone a place with dancing since ?????? I was standing listening to the band and a real nice looking man came up and asked me to dance. I was so flatter that someone had noticed me at my age and also still 40 too fat. But when I told my husband, he asked if the cane the guy and was white. My daughter didn't think I should feel good about it. But I guess she is coming from that I am her Mother and I shouldn't have men ask me to dance except her Dad. Well, I was flattered but I didn't dance because I haven't dance in so long I don't know if I know how.Sue/WI

[Guest guest]

Let me know what day!!!

Sue/WI

[Guest guest]

patty,

that doesn't sound so nice..... especially from your

husband who should be supporting you in everything you

do.... as long as it isn't detrimental to you or the

family..... wow, if someone asked my mom to dance

other than my father, i'd be happy for her.... i'd

tell her to dance with him.... and, as a matter of

fact my dad probably wouldn;t care either.... my mom

and dad are so incredibly in love in their 35 years of

marriage.... wow....

courtney

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

annette

You mentioned acne, I got a great prescription from my dermatologist for DesOwen and it is great with the acne from prednisone. Maybe this would interest you.

Chris

[Guest guest]

Patty,

Count me in! Just tell me the time and date so I can arrange childcare. I went to a kid's birthday party this weekend and one of the other mothers who I hadn't seen in a long time said, "Oh wow, you look different." I didn't dare ask what she meant. Is it my bulging butt or my gorgeous moon face? Or maybe it's my newly discovered propensity for acne? Then again, she could have meant that I looked fabulous, but then she probably would have said that.

My theory on dancing is that I'll say yes to anyone for one dance just out of courtesy. But I'll only go more than one song if I'm interested or willing to put up with what comes with it like lots of questions (and since I'm married now, that's not likely to happen).

Annette

-----Original Message-----From: J. [mailto:scott_p@...]Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2002 10:40 PM Subject: RE: [ ] Pity Party

Sue,

I also am flattered when I get a compliment, being asked to dance is one of those! I am 47 and have my share of fat face and abdominal girth, however when I was younger I was pretty good looking. I have accepted myself as I am, my husband & I ran across some pics from when I was 35, running 10K's for exercise, laughed a lot and ate like a healthy vegetarian [nothing would pass my lips until I assessed the nutritional value of what I was doing to my digestive track].

Those days are gone but I still think I am a very worthwhile human being... OK, I just ate a few potato chips with my evening cranberry juice and strawberries....flattery is nice. Now I say thank you and dance if I want.

At my pity party we are going to have chocolate and champagne, alternatives are allowed as long as they are not red meat. I think we should post on-line pics of ourselves for the party. Wanna come Sue? I promise to ask you to dance....

Patty

-----Original Message-----From: ROSELLE50@... [mailto:ROSELLE50@...]Sent: Monday, August 12, 2002 12:32 AM Subject: Re: [ ] Pity PartyPatty:I have been having my own Pity Party today. Just don't know what is wrong. I went with the lady across the street to listen to a band that was playing for the Blues Fest that was being held in Duluth, MN. I haven't been out in a bar let alone a place with dancing since ?????? I was standing listening to the band and a real nice looking man came up and asked me to dance. I was so flatter that someone had noticed me at my age and also still 40 too fat. But when I told my husband, he asked if the cane the guy and was white. My daughter didn't think I should feel good about it. But I guess she is coming from that I am her Mother and I shouldn't have men ask me to dance except her Dad. Well, I was flattered but I didn't dance because I haven't dance in so long I don't know if I know how.Sue/WI

[Guest guest]

Dear Sue:

I say dance away! What a nice compliment. I do think your husband's

remark was uncalled for, though and if you'd like, I'll hold him

while you kick him! HEE

Glad you found your way back to the group!

Kathy (AIH)

Seattle area

[Guest guest]

Debra!!

You can still turn the time you have left around and give it a good shot for the

end of your challenge! Your posts are so motivating, go back and read some of

what you have written the past couple of weeks and see if that helps you at all.

What's going to bring you closer to your goals? Have you looked at your list of

goals in a while? What are you doing to make those happen?

Don't give up, Debra

Maggie

pity party

Hi all. Isn't it so easy to do as i say, not as i do. I've got

just over a week til the end of C1 and feel like I've totally fell

off the wagon. I missed all but 2 wo last week and have only done 1

this week. no cardio at all. I've not even been doing the pt

prescribed for my knees My eating has only been semi clean. At

least one cheat food/day. I don't know what the hecks wrong. I've

got to get myself in gear. It all started with just not quite

drinking all the water each day and has gradually gone downhill from

there. I'd say the last 3 weeks have been a bust. Overall since

the beginning, I've lost just over 10 pounds, and the pants are much

loser. My fav pair of jeans are loose from morning til night and

start to get irritating becuase they start falling low on my hips

and I've been able to wear a pair khakis I haven't worn in over a

year. I've still got some shorts that I really have to suck in to

button and then I get all the flab hanging over the top. My goal is

to fit into them. Maybe I'll do my next before pics in those with a

sports bra. HA

thanks for listening

debra

[Guest guest]

--- In , " Debra " <My eating has

only been semi clean. At

> least one cheat food/day.

I'd say that's eating clean! you can't beat yourself up over one

cheat food day (I assume you're talking about maybe a cookie or

something, not a big mac or a hot fudge sundae??) if you're going to

do bfl for the rest of your life, imo you have to make it " livable "

and allowing yourself a " cheat " is not going to sabotage your plan.

I guess it may be different for everyone, I mean some people may have

to do all or nothing, but I've learned after 8 weeks, that I am NOT

going to feel guilty and completely feel like a failure because I had

ONE pretzel! does anyone agree with me? or am I totally fooling

myself?

[Guest guest]

I agree. As long as it's not a whole cheat meal a day, I think it's

not too bad. Keep trying. The more times we pick ourselves up and

try again, the easier it'll get and, hopefully, the less we'll have

to do it.

Becky

> --- In , " Debra " <My eating

has

> only been semi clean. At

> > least one cheat food/day.

>

>

>

> I'd say that's eating clean! you can't beat yourself up over one

> cheat food day (I assume you're talking about maybe a cookie or

> something, not a big mac or a hot fudge sundae??) if you're going

to

> do bfl for the rest of your life, imo you have to make it " livable "

> and allowing yourself a " cheat " is not going to sabotage your

plan.

> I guess it may be different for everyone, I mean some people may

have

> to do all or nothing, but I've learned after 8 weeks, that I am NOT

> going to feel guilty and completely feel like a failure because I

had

> ONE pretzel! does anyone agree with me? or am I totally fooling

> myself?

[Guest guest]

Come on over..the weather is great and I'll cook hambugers on the grill..anyone

like grilled onions?/

Oh and bring extra chips...I'm a chip hog..could explain the weight..

Re: Pity Party

, I am coming with lot's of hugs and smiles for you. Maybe we can

distract you enough to feel a little better for a while. We are only that

touch away. Hugs

P.S. I was one that lost so much for many years. I am just over 5'9 " and

lost to 107 lbs. for many years until I was forty. I have to say that

being too skinny is just about as bad as too heavy. Our joints protest much

more being too heavy though.

----- Original Message -----

From: " Leppard " <smlep@...>

> Thank you lots Caroline, you may join the party.

> Like you I saw weight loss that thought''YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

> Only to find that it didn't happen. At 205 and 5 " 6 " ..I hate it..

>

> Oh well, guess it could be worse, not sure how..but it could be worse. I

am talking to my doctor about a Gastric Band..under the guide lines I can do

this and it is covered under my ins. Not sure the medical folks will think

its a good idea, but I have to loose 85-90 pounds. The BP is high again

today and the old body feels as if I've run a 100 miles..but I got up the

am..and that is a very good thing..

[Guest guest]

Come on over..the weather is great and I'll cook hambugers on the grill..anyone

like grilled onions?/

Oh and bring extra chips...I'm a chip hog..could explain the weight..

Re: Pity Party

, I am coming with lot's of hugs and smiles for you. Maybe we can

distract you enough to feel a little better for a while. We are only that

touch away. Hugs

P.S. I was one that lost so much for many years. I am just over 5'9 " and

lost to 107 lbs. for many years until I was forty. I have to say that

being too skinny is just about as bad as too heavy. Our joints protest much

more being too heavy though.

----- Original Message -----

From: " Leppard " <smlep@...>

> Thank you lots Caroline, you may join the party.

> Like you I saw weight loss that thought''YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

> Only to find that it didn't happen. At 205 and 5 " 6 " ..I hate it..

>

> Oh well, guess it could be worse, not sure how..but it could be worse. I

am talking to my doctor about a Gastric Band..under the guide lines I can do

this and it is covered under my ins. Not sure the medical folks will think

its a good idea, but I have to loose 85-90 pounds. The BP is high again

today and the old body feels as if I've run a 100 miles..but I got up the

am..and that is a very good thing..

[Guest guest]

, I am coming with lot's of hugs and smiles for you. Maybe we can

distract you enough to feel a little better for a while. We are only that

touch away. Hugs

P.S. I was one that lost so much for many years. I am just over 5'9 " and

lost to 107 lbs. for many years until I was forty. I have to say that

being too skinny is just about as bad as too heavy. Our joints protest much

more being too heavy though.

----- Original Message -----

From: " Leppard " <smlep@...>

> Thank you lots Caroline, you may join the party.

> Like you I saw weight loss that thought''YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

> Only to find that it didn't happen. At 205 and 5 " 6 " ..I hate it..

>

> Oh well, guess it could be worse, not sure how..but it could be worse. I

am talking to my doctor about a Gastric Band..under the guide lines I can do

this and it is covered under my ins. Not sure the medical folks will think

its a good idea, but I have to loose 85-90 pounds. The BP is high again

today and the old body feels as if I've run a 100 miles..but I got up the

am..and that is a very good thing..

[Guest guest]

, I am coming with lot's of hugs and smiles for you. Maybe we can

distract you enough to feel a little better for a while. We are only that

touch away. Hugs

P.S. I was one that lost so much for many years. I am just over 5'9 " and

lost to 107 lbs. for many years until I was forty. I have to say that

being too skinny is just about as bad as too heavy. Our joints protest much

more being too heavy though.

----- Original Message -----

From: " Leppard " <smlep@...>

> Thank you lots Caroline, you may join the party.

> Like you I saw weight loss that thought''YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

> Only to find that it didn't happen. At 205 and 5 " 6 " ..I hate it..

>

> Oh well, guess it could be worse, not sure how..but it could be worse. I

am talking to my doctor about a Gastric Band..under the guide lines I can do

this and it is covered under my ins. Not sure the medical folks will think

its a good idea, but I have to loose 85-90 pounds. The BP is high again

today and the old body feels as if I've run a 100 miles..but I got up the

am..and that is a very good thing..

[Guest guest]

>

>

>

> OK I am having a pity party and everyone is invited. Whahhhhh!

>

> Sorry....I just needed to vent. I have been flaring most of the

> weekend. When I am not sleeping I have " phantom pains " in my

forearms

> and hands. It feels like a lightning storm running down the

bones. I

> call them phantoms because the PHDs can't find a cause.....and

because

> the pain jumps around.

>

> All I know is I am miserable.

>

> Ever have those days where you feel REALLY good? You know....those

> days when you forget the pain from yesterday and start questioning

if

> you're really as sick as you thought you were? That maybe you had

> overreacted earlier and it was just muscle strain or something that

> has passed?

>

> Well I had one of those days on Friday.

>

>

> I got up feeling great! I cleaned up our basement, went to the

fabric

> store (making a baby quilt for my girlfriend due next month) and

went

> to the grocery store. When I was leaving the fabric store I had

> problems getting back into my car. My back did not want to bend. I

> eased into the seat and my back popped in 5 places. Oh yeah....the

> pain was back with extreme prejudice!

>

> Instead of going straight home I stuck with my plan of getting

> groceries. (Stupid I know.) By the time I got home I was almost in

> tears. I had the kids put the food away while I downed a few

> ultracetsand went to bed. That's where I have been the last 2 days.

>

> I hope this flare ends soon.

>

> Sandi

>

> No reply is warranted. Just feeling sorry for myself.

>

Just want to tell you that you are entitled to a pity party and if

you can't vent here then you can't vent anywhere. I have learned in

the past that this is the only place where people understand and are

going through the same thing that you are. We all have our days and

the pains that go up and down the nerve endings I can relate to , I

don't know if it is the PA or the fibro I have but it really can

hurt. I am getting a prescription filled for Ambien so I can get a

descent night sleep. My rheumy just gave it to me. Just hang in

there Sandi.

Janet in NY

[Guest guest]

Hi Sandi,

I know exactly what you mean. I live for those " feel good days " because

they don't come often. I went with my daughter yesterday, she had some Sunday

work she needed to do, we ended up driving through the delta area (in Cal. So.

of Sacramento, West of Stockton) almost to Oakland. We saw lots of

countryside we had never seen before, wished we had a dime for every corn stalk

and

grape vine we saw, ( actually, it was a dollar, but I didn't want to sound

greedy) and crossed some very unique bridges. So, today is my day of rest

because of fatigue. But since it's not too bad, I'm catching up my emails.

The " phantom pain " you speak of is what my doctors call fibromyalgia. It

effects the soft tissues and the pain is every bit as real as PA pain. I

describe it as the pain that's " in between the joint pain " . Fibro also comes

with

symptoms of fatigue and fog brain, so you might want to ask your rheumy to

check you pressure points.

You know, of course, you have to watch out not to over do even when you feel

good. I am so sorry you are still miserable. Hope you are up and feeling

better soon. I need to go to the grocery store, but it is such a chore I put

it off til there's nothing left in the house to eat. It is getting close.

Watch out, Safeway!! God Bless.

Janet in Ca

[Guest guest]

Hi Janet,

Sounds like we have more than a name in common. Be sure and let me know how

the Ambien works.for you. I have been a little afraid of it because of some

of the reports on the news about people getting up in the night and driving

without knowing about it. Probably only happened a half a dozen times to

make the media blow it up. I slept fairly well last night, but it is the first

time in over 3 weeks that I haven't woke up at 2:30 or 3:00 in the morning

and stayed awake from there. It wouldn't be so bad, but I can't get to sleep

before midnight most nights. Hope you're having a great day. God Bless,

Janet in Ca

[Guest guest]

Janet - I have a daughter in Oakland who I haven't seen since

Hurricane Katrina. The last time I was visiting her (the week

Katrina hit) we went to the Delta to visit the Bogle winery. Their

Zinfandel is our favorite everyday wine. It was my fist time in

that area as well.

I was surprised at how much that area reminded me of south

Louisiana! We were driving along a small river, with levees along

both sides of it and a highway right along each side of the river.

It looked just like Louisiana along Bayou Lafourche!!! The only

difference was vines everywhere instead of sugar cane. That and the

heat and humidity, of course.

Anyway, while I was working for the SBA on Katrina recovery, they

tried to send me to CA to work the floods there. My friend went

instead and he was in Sacramento for a while, then Lake Tahoe (poor

guy!), then somewhere in the East Bay, then back to Sacramento. He

was gone for a couple of months.

I can't wait to get back to Oakland to visit my girl! She and her

fellow just bought their first home about a month ago. As soon as

this is under control, I'm there!

sherry z

>

> Hi Sandi,

> I know exactly what you mean. I live for those " feel good days "

because

> they don't come often. I went with my daughter yesterday, she

had some Sunday

> work she needed to do, we ended up driving through the delta area

(in Cal. So.

> of Sacramento, West of Stockton) almost to Oakland. We saw lots

of

[Guest guest]

Hi Sherri,

It IS a small world. My daughter has to go to Lake Tahoe on business

sometimes 3 times a week. It doesn't do much for her anymore. I don't think

she

even sees the lake anymore. But I love it! I ride with her sometimes on

weekends to keep her company. Last winter's flood here was hard to believe

unless you saw it for yourself. We were in Oregon during most of the rain, but

when we came home it looked like the world must have looked to Noah. We live

on a solid rock hillside in the foothills so we came home to nothing out of

the ordinary.

Thank God. Give us a call if you should make it to Sacto during your next

visit.

Janet in Ca

[Guest guest]

Hope you feel better soon. cathy from ma

[Guest guest]

Hi, Robin. I have two daughters with OCD. is thirteen and was

diagnosed with OCD at the age of seven. I swear she was born with it and we

were

very relieved when the diagnosis came in. It was wonderful to finally be able

to call what was wrong with her by name. I could finally look things up and

learn about it. Two years later, my older daughter, Hannah, was diagnosed

and I thought I would die. Hannah is sixteen now and was diagnosed at eleven

after suffering symptoms for a year. When Hannah was diagnosed, I really

felt the loss of both girls. It was no longer one of my kids who had something

wrong, it was all of them. Hannah was so normal before the onset--knowing

she had it too broke my heart and I wanted both kids back. It took several

months before I finished grieving and I know it is part of the process. It is

okay to be sad and it is okay to feel anger and disappointment and all that. I

think that feeling these things is quite normal. was diagnosed with

Asperger's Syndrome at the beginning of the school year and she recently told

me that she was having a hard time getting used to the idea and I realized

that she was going to go through a process too. I think she is grieving for

what was also. Your child is lucky you are in there fighting. Kelley in NV

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/22/2007 10:46:48 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

RLthomas2@... writes:

So today after I took her to school I just had this horrible

sense of grief and sadness. I have done nothing but cry and feel

totally overwhelmed. I do NOT like this feeling!

Robin...

You poor thing! I know exactly what you're feeling (as do so many folks on

this board). I did the same thing - just break down sobbing uncontrollably

in the middle the of the day, in the evening... I've had episodes where I've

had to pull my car off the road while I was driving because all of a sudden

the tears would just come flowing out non-stop. I've hung up in the middle of

totally unrelated phone conversations because suddenly I'm overwhelmed with

sadness & start to cry.

Believe me, it DOES and WILL pass. This is your adjustment period. Just go

with it. Cry when you feel like you have to. It's so much better for you

than to keep it bottled up. In a way, you are grieving a loss - the loss of

the child you've always known. At least that's what it feels like now - that

she's gone, but take heart, she isn't " gone " ... she has only temporarily gone

astray! With your love & support and the proper treatment, she will get

back on course again.

You are not feeling anything that we all haven't been through already... and

yet, here we are, we made it through - as you will also.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

LT

[Guest guest]

Oh Robin, ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))). Yes, what you are feeling

is totally normal. I went through this too. Go ahead and feel it all the way

through, cry, get mad etc.... Don't stuff it away, it will come out sideways.

Try not to let it out in front of her though. She has enough to deal with. Be

sure to take good care of yourself through all of this. Give yourself a big

break for a while and don't try and get things done. Be gentle with yourself and

your family. You are in a transition of sorts and need time to reconcile this

for yourself. Things will look better soon. She is not dying and it is

treatable. But, yes it is normal to grieve right now. We are here if you need

us.

J

Pity Party

Okay this morning has been my first offical break down... I have been

so busy trying to find out all I can about OCD that I have focused on

the mission and finding the proper course of treatment for my 9 yr. old

dd. That I have been to busy to think about anything else. Well she has

her first therapy apt. in two days and sees the dr. for meds on the

29th. So today after I took her to school I just had this horrible

sense of grief and sadness. I have done nothing but cry and feel

totally overwhelmed. I do NOT like this feeling! I am a take

charge " git er done! " type of person and this is such an unfamiliar

feeling for me. I feel like someone died and that I am unconsolible

does that make any sense? I know that my daughter is not dying and this

it fairly treatable but I truly feel like I am grieving the so called

normal childhood she has experienced up until now. ARGH!!!!!! Robin

[Guest guest]

Robin, it is natural to grieve for our children. It does seem at

first like a loss of their chidhood. But you have to remember there

is hope. Bre was in therapy for a year and now she is doing well. It

is hard to see the end of the tunnel when you first enter it.

We all understand how you feel and you are not alone. There were many

days I didn't want to even get out of bed. I learned to journal and

finally realized it is ok to have bad days, as long as I rose above

it the next day. Keep on posting here to let out your feelings. It

does help. I will keep you in my prayers. Oh and when I feel down, I

play my music loud. Dance around the room!

Sandy

-- In , " notforsaken1 " <RLthomas2@...>

wrote:

>

> Okay this morning has been my first offical break down... I have

been

> so busy trying to find out all I can about OCD that I have focused

on

> the mission and finding the proper course of treatment for my 9 yr.

old

> dd. That I have been to busy to think about anything else. Well she

has

> her first therapy apt. in two days and sees the dr. for meds on the

> 29th. So today after I took her to school I just had this horrible

> sense of grief and sadness. I have done nothing but cry and feel

> totally overwhelmed. I do NOT like this feeling! I am a take

> charge " git er done! " type of person and this is such an unfamiliar

> feeling for me. I feel like someone died and that I am unconsolible

> does that make any sense? I know that my daughter is not dying and

this

> it fairly treatable but I truly feel like I am grieving the so

called

> normal childhood she has experienced up until now. ARGH!!!!!! Robin

>