Pity Party

[Guest guest]

I can't agree with you more Alley. Its difficult

for some people to talk to others about how they are

feeling, because so many people just have no idea what

this does to a body and mind.<br><br>If we can't come

to a Hepatitis message board called Hepatitis C

Support Group for unconditional support, where the heck

can we go? <br><br>This is one of the best boards I

have seen online, and I have seen tons of them in the

last year and a half, and the info here is nearly

ALWAYS factual. <br><br>Support is a wonderful thing and

very necessary for people with HepC. Some people just

haven't learned to accept their diagnosis yet and can't

share their fears with others.

[Guest guest]

& lt; & lt;Some people just haven't learned to

accept their diagnosis yet and can't share their fears

with others & gt; & gt;<br><br>Yes and even then, I know I

go in and out of denial. Sometimes I go for weeks

not doing any of my hep stuff, listservs and boards

and such, just to clear my mind.<br><br>Thank gawd my

hubby lets me complain without making me feel bad. I

can say I feel like shit or my feet hurt or whatever

hurts 50 times a day and he just hugs me and helps me

get the rest I need when I can.<br><br>Sometimes I

just get so tired it wears down my emotional state and

it's hard to be positive then. But I'll get back on an

upswing and be my happy old self.<br><br>It's ok to

whine. This stuff gets old. I'm getting old too

course, I do expect someone not to whine constantly, but

we all have our bad days, sometimes it's bad

weeks.<br><br>alley the expert whiner

[Guest guest]

Gillian,

It's the weirdest thing, before we adopted four children I could grow anything.

I even had a prayer plant to bloom. They tell me they have to be really " happy "

plants to do that. Anyway, our house began to have a touch of the tropical look.

Tada, 1981 arrived and so did four children from Costa Rica. I kept noticing a

leaf here...a leaf there on the floor or table. Then I noticed yellow scriveled

up things hanging here and there.

Russ isn't one to notice such things unless it's really getting bad. He caught

me " trimming " leaves off and checking the moisture content. What are you giving

these plants? My reply, " kiditis " . I forgot to water them then when I realized

it, I would drowned them. So now he just tells me not to buy any ' cause I kill

them. That's probably what is happening to the plant at the radiologist.

Thanks for the virus warning...I had been warned by a guy in the Air Force.

Their computers were hit yesterday. One of the bad things is, it will use your

address file and mail itself to your friends.

Have a good day...watch out for those falling plant parts! Ha!

Donna

Gillian Rowe <roweg@...> wrote:

Hi Donna

So it was YOU!

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbie and all,

I want to come to the party too. I'll bring some games...like "pin the tail on the doctor", "charades - guess what hurts", and how about some balloons that we can pop? (a good stress reliever!). It'll be FUN!!!

[Guest guest]

awwww Sue, you poor sweet thing.

I must say, my pity is for your parents, in that they can go through

their lives being so ignorant of the true wonders that are right under

their noses. If your father thinks money can buy what he

can get from his grandchildren, he's got bigger problems

than you have. Definitely their loss not yours.

Put those lovely children on a plane to New Zealand and I'll pick them

up at the airport. You could do with a trip here to recover from your

surgery also :-)

Seriously though, do you have assistance over there for children with

disabilities. In New Zealand, we are entitled to up to 28 days per

year respite care? Hopefully there's something like that for you

guys.

This will all pass

*Hugs*

Diane

[Guest guest]

awwww Sue, you poor sweet thing.

I must say, my pity is for your parents, in that they can go through

their lives being so ignorant of the true wonders that are right under

their noses. If your father thinks money can buy what he

can get from his grandchildren, he's got bigger problems

than you have. Definitely their loss not yours.

Put those lovely children on a plane to New Zealand and I'll pick them

up at the airport. You could do with a trip here to recover from your

surgery also :-)

Seriously though, do you have assistance over there for children with

disabilities. In New Zealand, we are entitled to up to 28 days per

year respite care? Hopefully there's something like that for you

guys.

This will all pass

*Hugs*

Diane

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,

I'm sure every one of us would be having the same feelings in your

shoes. You should be proud of yourself for admitting them outloud (so to

speak). No one who hasn't experienced it 24/7 can understand the emotional

wear and tear of living with a child with OCD, so OF COURSE you feel as if

you are doing all the hard work and he is reaping all the benefits.

Does your son have a therapist? Could you get an appointment with

his therapist or a different one just to talk about these feelings? I have

spent an hour with my daughter's therapist once just to basically cry on her

shoulder, but for insurance purposes it was billed as part of her treatment

(which it was - I need the encouragement and advice to carry on at times

too!). And having a talk with someone who really knows what you're going

through makes all the difference. They already have seen how hard it has

been. Anyway, talking it out with someone might help and would make it easier

to support your son 100% - if your son is anything like my daughter, he will

instantly pick up on the subtle feelings you're having, which would be a

shame.

Feel free to gripe here as much as you need to - that's what this is

for!! And a HUGE congratulations to your son, and to you - how wonderful that

the hard work is paying off!!!

in Nevada

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,

I'm sure every one of us would be having the same feelings in your

shoes. You should be proud of yourself for admitting them outloud (so to

speak). No one who hasn't experienced it 24/7 can understand the emotional

wear and tear of living with a child with OCD, so OF COURSE you feel as if

you are doing all the hard work and he is reaping all the benefits.

Does your son have a therapist? Could you get an appointment with

his therapist or a different one just to talk about these feelings? I have

spent an hour with my daughter's therapist once just to basically cry on her

shoulder, but for insurance purposes it was billed as part of her treatment

(which it was - I need the encouragement and advice to carry on at times

too!). And having a talk with someone who really knows what you're going

through makes all the difference. They already have seen how hard it has

been. Anyway, talking it out with someone might help and would make it easier

to support your son 100% - if your son is anything like my daughter, he will

instantly pick up on the subtle feelings you're having, which would be a

shame.

Feel free to gripe here as much as you need to - that's what this is

for!! And a HUGE congratulations to your son, and to you - how wonderful that

the hard work is paying off!!!

in Nevada

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,

I'm sure every one of us would be having the same feelings in your

shoes. You should be proud of yourself for admitting them outloud (so to

speak). No one who hasn't experienced it 24/7 can understand the emotional

wear and tear of living with a child with OCD, so OF COURSE you feel as if

you are doing all the hard work and he is reaping all the benefits.

Does your son have a therapist? Could you get an appointment with

his therapist or a different one just to talk about these feelings? I have

spent an hour with my daughter's therapist once just to basically cry on her

shoulder, but for insurance purposes it was billed as part of her treatment

(which it was - I need the encouragement and advice to carry on at times

too!). And having a talk with someone who really knows what you're going

through makes all the difference. They already have seen how hard it has

been. Anyway, talking it out with someone might help and would make it easier

to support your son 100% - if your son is anything like my daughter, he will

instantly pick up on the subtle feelings you're having, which would be a

shame.

Feel free to gripe here as much as you need to - that's what this is

for!! And a HUGE congratulations to your son, and to you - how wonderful that

the hard work is paying off!!!

in Nevada

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,

When it's all done and over with, your son will always remember who was

always there for him, who did all the work. I know it's hard to see his dad

doing nothing, but that's the truth of it. I'm a single parent with a 12

year old boy who doesn't see his own dad but maybe 2 weeks every 2 years or

so. He doesn't like his dad because he is so much like him. (His dad has

similiar disturbances.) Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you aren't

alone in this. I know how it feels. I'm a single parent until things are

going well--then this other 'missing' side of my sons' life suddenly shows

up, trying to claim all the glory. No one in my son's life recognizes this

absent parent. Then he disappears into the wall paper for another couple of

years. (He lives in Italy. We are in the U.S.) It's been going that way

since before my son was born. (I've never had the touch problem with my son

and his father, but I could see where that could happen. I'm thinking it's

a good thing my son can't get to and read your e-mail! He'd probably get

the idea.)

Good luck.

M

PS I also homeschool.

pity party

> I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself day.

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,

When it's all done and over with, your son will always remember who was

always there for him, who did all the work. I know it's hard to see his dad

doing nothing, but that's the truth of it. I'm a single parent with a 12

year old boy who doesn't see his own dad but maybe 2 weeks every 2 years or

so. He doesn't like his dad because he is so much like him. (His dad has

similiar disturbances.) Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you aren't

alone in this. I know how it feels. I'm a single parent until things are

going well--then this other 'missing' side of my sons' life suddenly shows

up, trying to claim all the glory. No one in my son's life recognizes this

absent parent. Then he disappears into the wall paper for another couple of

years. (He lives in Italy. We are in the U.S.) It's been going that way

since before my son was born. (I've never had the touch problem with my son

and his father, but I could see where that could happen. I'm thinking it's

a good thing my son can't get to and read your e-mail! He'd probably get

the idea.)

Good luck.

M

PS I also homeschool.

pity party

> I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself day.

[Guest guest]

(((hugs))) Sharon! Feel free to vent here because as you said, it's

important for right now to have your support. But I COMPLETELY

understand what you're going through. Hang in there as things will

settle down, this is all new for and his dad so the excitement

and everything is still evident and daily. But things will settle,

get more routine and personalities will tend to come out more.

My oldest son is 17, this past April, and hasn't seen his dad at all

since age 10. He's not too far away either, long story, but at first

it was OUR decision not to see his dad for many years. He keeps in

touch sporadically by calling (usually drunk) wanting to see the kids

but we have yet to go. Luckily he can't come see us (no license!)

plus knows until we visit him, he's not exactly welcome at our home.

Anyway, I tend to think at times that when we DO finally visit,

Randall (my oldest, non-OCD) might tend to find similar interests

with him and even eventually want to stay overnight. But that's yet

to come.......

I've never told their dad about 's OCD either, don't know if I

will.

So, my opinion, have your pity party (completely normal &

understandable, I'd be doing it too!), vent to us, and wait for

things to settle down. Maybe look at this as a time to do things for

yourself, things you like to do and have put off.

Also, my opinion, I think until our " kids " get to actually be adults

that they won't tend to see things, the things parents have actually

done for them and helped them with and how we've been there for them -

until they're out on their own. And WILL see you in this

light as he matures later. As for the " dad being right " part -

that's probably somewhat also typical of just being a teenager. Even

without my sons' dad being a part of their lives, I find that,

according to my kids, they're getting more " right " in their opinions

and I'm apparently getting more WRONG!!

((((hugs))))

> I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself

day.

>

> My 17y/o OCD son decided last week to try and have some contact

with his dad

> which he hadn't seen in over 2 years (they had talked by phone, but

his dad

> had not seen him - he lives in same town about 6 blocks from us).

His dad

> has been the person that his OCD deemed " dirty " , so he has been

unable to

> touch anything that ever had anything to do with his dad in the

past. A

> major fear of his has been being touched by his dad or being around

him.

> Well, thanks to the help of medicine and HARD work, he decided to

try and

> overcome his fear. I took him by his dad's house and they visited

at the

> car window - step one was a success!

>

> The next day, he called and had his dad come pick him up. It was

touch and

> go with much anxiety, but he handled it and now feels more

confident that he

> has had a victory with that part of his OCD. He has been to see

him for the

> last 3 nites and even worked up the courage to go into his house (a

major,

> major accomplishment).

>

> I am very proud of him and told him so. I admire his courage to do

the

> thing that he feared the most. I can see his confidence growing -

and hope

> he'll be able to tackle other OCD things. Now comes the pity party

part - I

> feel very selfish, but these feelings are sort of overwhelming me.

I'm

> talking to myself constantly. Here it is - now he talks constantly

about

> his dad. All of sudden whatever I say is wrong, because his dad

sees it

> differently (we are VERY different). He thinks it's boring here

because

> there is so much to do there (his dad has undiagnosed and untreated

hoarding

> OCD so there is LOTS of junk around to mess with and experiment

with). His

> dad has plenty of money, and has only himself to take care of,

while I

> struggle to make ends meet and deal with the daily ongoing struggle

of OCD.

>

> His dad has never had to deal with a melt-down (I don't think he'd

be able

> to handle it), he has had to deal with none of the stress of the

rituals (he

> didn't even know had OCD til about 6 months ago), doesn't

have to deal

> with the appointments, the drives to the appointments. He doesn't

hear the

> suicide talk. He is not at all involved in the process of

homeschooling.

> It seems like he reaps the benefits while I do the work (now is

that selfish

> and hateful or what?). I wasn't anticipating this rush of

resentful,

> jealous feelings. In fact, I have encouraged as he sought

the courage

> to contact his dad. I was there to play middle man in the

beginning and now

> I feel like I'm on the short end of the stick. I know this is

immature and

> it will pass, but I have to try so hard not to let it show.

>

> I am truly VERY proud of and his accomplishments and I do NOT

want to

> jeapordize that in any way. But I sure am tired of hearing the

glories of

> his dad (the same dad who hasn't given him a Christmas or birthday

gift in 4

> years). is making progress and I must keep my lip zipped -

venting

> here sure does help!!

>

> The positives of this so much outweight the negative feelings I

have though.

> is now able to touch me (he has not been able to hug me for

the last

> 2 years). He came home from his dad's and gave me a big bear hug -

stunned

> me! I can see that he is not as anxious now about touching many

things in

> our house. He overcame a major hurdle and seems to have more hope

for the

> future. I must get my feelings in check.

>

> Sorry this is so long - thanks for listening.

>

> Sharon in Oklahoma

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.

[Guest guest]

(((hugs))) Sharon! Feel free to vent here because as you said, it's

important for right now to have your support. But I COMPLETELY

understand what you're going through. Hang in there as things will

settle down, this is all new for and his dad so the excitement

and everything is still evident and daily. But things will settle,

get more routine and personalities will tend to come out more.

My oldest son is 17, this past April, and hasn't seen his dad at all

since age 10. He's not too far away either, long story, but at first

it was OUR decision not to see his dad for many years. He keeps in

touch sporadically by calling (usually drunk) wanting to see the kids

but we have yet to go. Luckily he can't come see us (no license!)

plus knows until we visit him, he's not exactly welcome at our home.

Anyway, I tend to think at times that when we DO finally visit,

Randall (my oldest, non-OCD) might tend to find similar interests

with him and even eventually want to stay overnight. But that's yet

to come.......

I've never told their dad about 's OCD either, don't know if I

will.

So, my opinion, have your pity party (completely normal &

understandable, I'd be doing it too!), vent to us, and wait for

things to settle down. Maybe look at this as a time to do things for

yourself, things you like to do and have put off.

Also, my opinion, I think until our " kids " get to actually be adults

that they won't tend to see things, the things parents have actually

done for them and helped them with and how we've been there for them -

until they're out on their own. And WILL see you in this

light as he matures later. As for the " dad being right " part -

that's probably somewhat also typical of just being a teenager. Even

without my sons' dad being a part of their lives, I find that,

according to my kids, they're getting more " right " in their opinions

and I'm apparently getting more WRONG!!

((((hugs))))

> I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself

day.

>

> My 17y/o OCD son decided last week to try and have some contact

with his dad

> which he hadn't seen in over 2 years (they had talked by phone, but

his dad

> had not seen him - he lives in same town about 6 blocks from us).

His dad

> has been the person that his OCD deemed " dirty " , so he has been

unable to

> touch anything that ever had anything to do with his dad in the

past. A

> major fear of his has been being touched by his dad or being around

him.

> Well, thanks to the help of medicine and HARD work, he decided to

try and

> overcome his fear. I took him by his dad's house and they visited

at the

> car window - step one was a success!

>

> The next day, he called and had his dad come pick him up. It was

touch and

> go with much anxiety, but he handled it and now feels more

confident that he

> has had a victory with that part of his OCD. He has been to see

him for the

> last 3 nites and even worked up the courage to go into his house (a

major,

> major accomplishment).

>

> I am very proud of him and told him so. I admire his courage to do

the

> thing that he feared the most. I can see his confidence growing -

and hope

> he'll be able to tackle other OCD things. Now comes the pity party

part - I

> feel very selfish, but these feelings are sort of overwhelming me.

I'm

> talking to myself constantly. Here it is - now he talks constantly

about

> his dad. All of sudden whatever I say is wrong, because his dad

sees it

> differently (we are VERY different). He thinks it's boring here

because

> there is so much to do there (his dad has undiagnosed and untreated

hoarding

> OCD so there is LOTS of junk around to mess with and experiment

with). His

> dad has plenty of money, and has only himself to take care of,

while I

> struggle to make ends meet and deal with the daily ongoing struggle

of OCD.

>

> His dad has never had to deal with a melt-down (I don't think he'd

be able

> to handle it), he has had to deal with none of the stress of the

rituals (he

> didn't even know had OCD til about 6 months ago), doesn't

have to deal

> with the appointments, the drives to the appointments. He doesn't

hear the

> suicide talk. He is not at all involved in the process of

homeschooling.

> It seems like he reaps the benefits while I do the work (now is

that selfish

> and hateful or what?). I wasn't anticipating this rush of

resentful,

> jealous feelings. In fact, I have encouraged as he sought

the courage

> to contact his dad. I was there to play middle man in the

beginning and now

> I feel like I'm on the short end of the stick. I know this is

immature and

> it will pass, but I have to try so hard not to let it show.

>

> I am truly VERY proud of and his accomplishments and I do NOT

want to

> jeapordize that in any way. But I sure am tired of hearing the

glories of

> his dad (the same dad who hasn't given him a Christmas or birthday

gift in 4

> years). is making progress and I must keep my lip zipped -

venting

> here sure does help!!

>

> The positives of this so much outweight the negative feelings I

have though.

> is now able to touch me (he has not been able to hug me for

the last

> 2 years). He came home from his dad's and gave me a big bear hug -

stunned

> me! I can see that he is not as anxious now about touching many

things in

> our house. He overcame a major hurdle and seems to have more hope

for the

> future. I must get my feelings in check.

>

> Sorry this is so long - thanks for listening.

>

> Sharon in Oklahoma

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.

[Guest guest]

(((hugs))) Sharon! Feel free to vent here because as you said, it's

important for right now to have your support. But I COMPLETELY

understand what you're going through. Hang in there as things will

settle down, this is all new for and his dad so the excitement

and everything is still evident and daily. But things will settle,

get more routine and personalities will tend to come out more.

My oldest son is 17, this past April, and hasn't seen his dad at all

since age 10. He's not too far away either, long story, but at first

it was OUR decision not to see his dad for many years. He keeps in

touch sporadically by calling (usually drunk) wanting to see the kids

but we have yet to go. Luckily he can't come see us (no license!)

plus knows until we visit him, he's not exactly welcome at our home.

Anyway, I tend to think at times that when we DO finally visit,

Randall (my oldest, non-OCD) might tend to find similar interests

with him and even eventually want to stay overnight. But that's yet

to come.......

I've never told their dad about 's OCD either, don't know if I

will.

So, my opinion, have your pity party (completely normal &

understandable, I'd be doing it too!), vent to us, and wait for

things to settle down. Maybe look at this as a time to do things for

yourself, things you like to do and have put off.

Also, my opinion, I think until our " kids " get to actually be adults

that they won't tend to see things, the things parents have actually

done for them and helped them with and how we've been there for them -

until they're out on their own. And WILL see you in this

light as he matures later. As for the " dad being right " part -

that's probably somewhat also typical of just being a teenager. Even

without my sons' dad being a part of their lives, I find that,

according to my kids, they're getting more " right " in their opinions

and I'm apparently getting more WRONG!!

((((hugs))))

> I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself

day.

>

> My 17y/o OCD son decided last week to try and have some contact

with his dad

> which he hadn't seen in over 2 years (they had talked by phone, but

his dad

> had not seen him - he lives in same town about 6 blocks from us).

His dad

> has been the person that his OCD deemed " dirty " , so he has been

unable to

> touch anything that ever had anything to do with his dad in the

past. A

> major fear of his has been being touched by his dad or being around

him.

> Well, thanks to the help of medicine and HARD work, he decided to

try and

> overcome his fear. I took him by his dad's house and they visited

at the

> car window - step one was a success!

>

> The next day, he called and had his dad come pick him up. It was

touch and

> go with much anxiety, but he handled it and now feels more

confident that he

> has had a victory with that part of his OCD. He has been to see

him for the

> last 3 nites and even worked up the courage to go into his house (a

major,

> major accomplishment).

>

> I am very proud of him and told him so. I admire his courage to do

the

> thing that he feared the most. I can see his confidence growing -

and hope

> he'll be able to tackle other OCD things. Now comes the pity party

part - I

> feel very selfish, but these feelings are sort of overwhelming me.

I'm

> talking to myself constantly. Here it is - now he talks constantly

about

> his dad. All of sudden whatever I say is wrong, because his dad

sees it

> differently (we are VERY different). He thinks it's boring here

because

> there is so much to do there (his dad has undiagnosed and untreated

hoarding

> OCD so there is LOTS of junk around to mess with and experiment

with). His

> dad has plenty of money, and has only himself to take care of,

while I

> struggle to make ends meet and deal with the daily ongoing struggle

of OCD.

>

> His dad has never had to deal with a melt-down (I don't think he'd

be able

> to handle it), he has had to deal with none of the stress of the

rituals (he

> didn't even know had OCD til about 6 months ago), doesn't

have to deal

> with the appointments, the drives to the appointments. He doesn't

hear the

> suicide talk. He is not at all involved in the process of

homeschooling.

> It seems like he reaps the benefits while I do the work (now is

that selfish

> and hateful or what?). I wasn't anticipating this rush of

resentful,

> jealous feelings. In fact, I have encouraged as he sought

the courage

> to contact his dad. I was there to play middle man in the

beginning and now

> I feel like I'm on the short end of the stick. I know this is

immature and

> it will pass, but I have to try so hard not to let it show.

>

> I am truly VERY proud of and his accomplishments and I do NOT

want to

> jeapordize that in any way. But I sure am tired of hearing the

glories of

> his dad (the same dad who hasn't given him a Christmas or birthday

gift in 4

> years). is making progress and I must keep my lip zipped -

venting

> here sure does help!!

>

> The positives of this so much outweight the negative feelings I

have though.

> is now able to touch me (he has not been able to hug me for

the last

> 2 years). He came home from his dad's and gave me a big bear hug -

stunned

> me! I can see that he is not as anxious now about touching many

things in

> our house. He overcame a major hurdle and seems to have more hope

for the

> future. I must get my feelings in check.

>

> Sorry this is so long - thanks for listening.

>

> Sharon in Oklahoma

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,

I just wanted to chime in on the support for you. Everyone else has

already said everything I would have, so I'll just send another hug

your way. :-) I recently sent out a plea for help, and this list

was so uplifting, informative and supportive. Vent away ... that's

one of the reasons we're all here.

Blessings,

> I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself

day.

>

> My 17y/o OCD son decided last week to try and have some contact

with his dad

> which he hadn't seen in over 2 years (they had talked by phone, but

his dad

> had not seen him - he lives in same town about 6 blocks from us).

His dad

> has been the person that his OCD deemed " dirty " , so he has been

unable to

> touch anything that ever had anything to do with his dad in the

past. A

> major fear of his has been being touched by his dad or being around

him.

> Well, thanks to the help of medicine and HARD work, he decided to

try and

> overcome his fear. I took him by his dad's house and they visited

at the

> car window - step one was a success!

>

> The next day, he called and had his dad come pick him up. It was

touch and

> go with much anxiety, but he handled it and now feels more

confident that he

> has had a victory with that part of his OCD. He has been to see

him for the

> last 3 nites and even worked up the courage to go into his house (a

major,

> major accomplishment).

>

> I am very proud of him and told him so. I admire his courage to do

the

> thing that he feared the most. I can see his confidence growing -

and hope

> he'll be able to tackle other OCD things. Now comes the pity party

part - I

> feel very selfish, but these feelings are sort of overwhelming me.

I'm

> talking to myself constantly. Here it is - now he talks constantly

about

> his dad. All of sudden whatever I say is wrong, because his dad

sees it

> differently (we are VERY different). He thinks it's boring here

because

> there is so much to do there (his dad has undiagnosed and untreated

hoarding

> OCD so there is LOTS of junk around to mess with and experiment

with). His

> dad has plenty of money, and has only himself to take care of,

while I

> struggle to make ends meet and deal with the daily ongoing struggle

of OCD.

>

> His dad has never had to deal with a melt-down (I don't think he'd

be able

> to handle it), he has had to deal with none of the stress of the

rituals (he

> didn't even know had OCD til about 6 months ago), doesn't

have to deal

> with the appointments, the drives to the appointments. He doesn't

hear the

> suicide talk. He is not at all involved in the process of

homeschooling.

> It seems like he reaps the benefits while I do the work (now is

that selfish

> and hateful or what?). I wasn't anticipating this rush of

resentful,

> jealous feelings. In fact, I have encouraged as he sought

the courage

> to contact his dad. I was there to play middle man in the

beginning and now

> I feel like I'm on the short end of the stick. I know this is

immature and

> it will pass, but I have to try so hard not to let it show.

>

> I am truly VERY proud of and his accomplishments and I do NOT

want to

> jeapordize that in any way. But I sure am tired of hearing the

glories of

> his dad (the same dad who hasn't given him a Christmas or birthday

gift in 4

> years). is making progress and I must keep my lip zipped -

venting

> here sure does help!!

>

> The positives of this so much outweight the negative feelings I

have though.

> is now able to touch me (he has not been able to hug me for

the last

> 2 years). He came home from his dad's and gave me a big bear hug -

stunned

> me! I can see that he is not as anxious now about touching many

things in

> our house. He overcame a major hurdle and seems to have more hope

for the

> future. I must get my feelings in check.

>

> Sorry this is so long - thanks for listening.

>

> Sharon in Oklahoma

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,

I just wanted to chime in on the support for you. Everyone else has

already said everything I would have, so I'll just send another hug

your way. :-) I recently sent out a plea for help, and this list

was so uplifting, informative and supportive. Vent away ... that's

one of the reasons we're all here.

Blessings,

> I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself

day.

>

> My 17y/o OCD son decided last week to try and have some contact

with his dad

> which he hadn't seen in over 2 years (they had talked by phone, but

his dad

> had not seen him - he lives in same town about 6 blocks from us).

His dad

> has been the person that his OCD deemed " dirty " , so he has been

unable to

> touch anything that ever had anything to do with his dad in the

past. A

> major fear of his has been being touched by his dad or being around

him.

> Well, thanks to the help of medicine and HARD work, he decided to

try and

> overcome his fear. I took him by his dad's house and they visited

at the

> car window - step one was a success!

>

> The next day, he called and had his dad come pick him up. It was

touch and

> go with much anxiety, but he handled it and now feels more

confident that he

> has had a victory with that part of his OCD. He has been to see

him for the

> last 3 nites and even worked up the courage to go into his house (a

major,

> major accomplishment).

>

> I am very proud of him and told him so. I admire his courage to do

the

> thing that he feared the most. I can see his confidence growing -

and hope

> he'll be able to tackle other OCD things. Now comes the pity party

part - I

> feel very selfish, but these feelings are sort of overwhelming me.

I'm

> talking to myself constantly. Here it is - now he talks constantly

about

> his dad. All of sudden whatever I say is wrong, because his dad

sees it

> differently (we are VERY different). He thinks it's boring here

because

> there is so much to do there (his dad has undiagnosed and untreated

hoarding

> OCD so there is LOTS of junk around to mess with and experiment

with). His

> dad has plenty of money, and has only himself to take care of,

while I

> struggle to make ends meet and deal with the daily ongoing struggle

of OCD.

>

> His dad has never had to deal with a melt-down (I don't think he'd

be able

> to handle it), he has had to deal with none of the stress of the

rituals (he

> didn't even know had OCD til about 6 months ago), doesn't

have to deal

> with the appointments, the drives to the appointments. He doesn't

hear the

> suicide talk. He is not at all involved in the process of

homeschooling.

> It seems like he reaps the benefits while I do the work (now is

that selfish

> and hateful or what?). I wasn't anticipating this rush of

resentful,

> jealous feelings. In fact, I have encouraged as he sought

the courage

> to contact his dad. I was there to play middle man in the

beginning and now

> I feel like I'm on the short end of the stick. I know this is

immature and

> it will pass, but I have to try so hard not to let it show.

>

> I am truly VERY proud of and his accomplishments and I do NOT

want to

> jeapordize that in any way. But I sure am tired of hearing the

glories of

> his dad (the same dad who hasn't given him a Christmas or birthday

gift in 4

> years). is making progress and I must keep my lip zipped -

venting

> here sure does help!!

>

> The positives of this so much outweight the negative feelings I

have though.

> is now able to touch me (he has not been able to hug me for

the last

> 2 years). He came home from his dad's and gave me a big bear hug -

stunned

> me! I can see that he is not as anxious now about touching many

things in

> our house. He overcame a major hurdle and seems to have more hope

for the

> future. I must get my feelings in check.

>

> Sorry this is so long - thanks for listening.

>

> Sharon in Oklahoma

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.

[Guest guest]

Jeannette,

Can I join the party today? I've been itching all day and feeling very

irritable too. It must be in the air. I hope the injection is not to

uncomfortable for you and just remember it only lasts a few seconds. I've

had my knee injected once and was dreading it terribly. When it was over I

didn't even feel it so maybe yours will be the same.

Scratching like a cat also here in VA.

[Guest guest]

JEANETTE,

THAT IS FUNNY, I TELL MY HUSBAND SOMETIMES THAT I FEEL LIKE MY LIVER IS GOING

BUST OUT OF MY RIBS BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS TRUELY POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER

GO BACK TO SCRATCHING NOW

JENNIFER, IN GEORGIA

[Guest guest]

Dear Jeannette,

Oh, I hope your pain goes away quickly! I am crossing my fingers the treatment works.

[ ] Pity

Party

Hi, I am having a pity party for one tonight. I hurt

so much around my liver and am scratching for England. I went to the doctors

and he said that my liver is so swollen at the moment and so painfull that he

thinks I may have " popped " a couple of ribs so I have to go back on

friday morning he is going to give me an injection to ease the pain for

me. He also said that it will probably hurt a lot because he is going to inject

in the most painfull part around the liver but it will numb for quite a while

so I will be able to get on with living. Now that sounds fun doesn't

it, it is so long since I was diagnosed and along with everything else I

think I have forgotten how to live. I did say I was having a pity party did'nt

I, Well please if you have got a moment give me a thought on friday, now I will

go and have another scratch I knew I should have been born a cat. Love and Hugs

Jeanette UK AIH dx 1998 Cirrhosis dx 2001

Get a bigger mailbox -- choose a size that fits your needs.

http://uk.docs./mail_storage.html

[Guest guest]

Ouch! That scratching and injection sound terrible! Please be careful! Hopefully, they will get the itching under control. God bless you and take a deep breath and you can have all the pity party you wish!

debby

[ ] Pity Party

Hi, I am having a pity party for one tonight. I hurt so much around my liver and am scratching for England. I went to the doctors and he said that my liver is so swollen at the moment and so painfull that he thinks I may have "popped" a couple of ribs so I have to go back on friday morning he is going to give me an injection to ease the pain for me. He also said that it will probably hurt a lot because he is going to inject in the most painfull part around the liver but it will numb for quite a while so I will be able to get on with living. Now that sounds fun doesn't it, it is so long since I was diagnosed and along with everything else I think I have forgotten how to live. I did say I was having a pity party did'nt I, Well please if you have got a moment give me a thought on friday, now I will go and have another scratch I knew I should have been born a cat. Love and Hugs Jeanette UK AIH dx 1998 Cirrhosis dx 2001

Get a bigger mailbox -- choose a size that fits your needs.http://uk.docs./mail_storage.html

[Guest guest]

Dearest Jeanette,

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I will pray that

you can get relief from the pain and itching. Sending you hugs and

prayers.

Love,

Ruth

> Hi, I am having a pity party for one tonight. I hurt so much around

my liver and am scratching for England. I went to the doctors and he

said that my liver is so swollen at the moment and so painfull that

he thinks I may have " popped " a couple of ribs so I have to go back

on friday morning he is going to give me an injection to ease the

pain for me. He also said that it will probably hurt a lot because he

is going to inject in the most painfull part around the liver but it

will numb for quite a while so I will be able to get on with living.

Now that sounds fun doesn't it, it is so long since I was diagnosed

and along with everything else I think I have forgotten how to live.

I did say I was having a pity party did'nt I, Well please if you have

got a moment give me a thought on friday, now I will go and have

another scratch I knew I should have been born a cat. Love and Hugs

Jeanette UK AIH dx 1998 Cirrhosis dx 2001

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Get a bigger mailbox -- choose a size that fits your needs.

>

> http://uk.docs./mail_storage.html

[Guest guest]

Dear Jennette

Sorry to hear that things are not going well for you. and I will be thinking of you this Friday. I hope you feel better soon.

Lori ('s Mom)

[Guest guest]

Janette,

It is Friday and I am just now reading your post. Lots of thoughts are with you. Talk about deserving a pity party! With all you have been through you absolutely deserve one. Have a black tie! Lots of Champagne & Chocolate & Roses.... How about if we plan a big on-line pity party, Anyone who wants to come is invited. I will bring the afore mentioned items, Roses, champagne & chocolate... How about it? Any one want to come?

Seriously, this shot sounds awful ...but if it helps... I think of all the symptoms we have the itching has to be the worst!

Patty

-----Original Message-----From: Jeanette Carpenter [mailto:jeanette_cuk@...]Sent: Tuesday, August 06, 2002 5:49 PM Subject: [ ] Pity PartyHi, I am having a pity party for one tonight. I hurt so much around my liver and am scratching for England. I went to the doctors and he said that my liver is so swollen at the moment and so painfull that he thinks I may have "popped" a couple of ribs so I have to go back on friday morning he is going to give me an injection to ease the pain for me. He also said that it will probably hurt a lot because he is going to inject in the most painfull part around the liver but it will numb for quite a while so I will be able to get on with living. Now that sounds fun doesn't it, it is so long since I was diagnosed and along with everything else I think I have forgotten how to live. I did say I was having a pity party did'nt I, Well please if you have got a moment give me a thought on friday, now I will go and have another scratch I knew I should have been born a cat. Love and Hugs Jeanette UK AIH dx 1998 Cirrhosis dx 2001

Get a bigger mailbox -- choose a size that fits your needs.http://uk.docs./mail_storage.html

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/10/02 7:32:26 AM Pacific Daylight Time, duffey48@...

writes:

<< I know what you mean Gail. I take it as a personal offense against my

Maddie!!!! I don't want pity and I don't expect people to understand

(geez,

how COULD I). What I DO want is respect. I don't want people putting

expectations on me that are unreasonable because I have Maddie. And most

of all, I don't want people judging me or telling me how THEY would do it.

Donna >>

Donna,

Don't you think sometimes when people tell you how THEY would do it, it's a

great opportunity to educate them? Not that it always works that way, but I

found sometimes that because they showed some kind of interest, they will

listen to your whys and why nots to their suggestions.

Gail :-)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/10/02 11:15:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

smilinggail@... writes:

> Donna,

> Don't you think sometimes when people tell you how THEY would do it, it's a

> great opportunity to educate them? Not that it always works that way, but

> I

> found sometimes that because they showed some kind of interest, they will

> listen to your whys and why nots to their suggestions.

>

Interest I welcome. It's the rude " if you only did this, that wouldn't

happen " . I actually haven't had that in a long time because no one else

seems to figure her out, so no unwanted *suggestions* lately!!! Boy, have

I heard some doozies though!!!!! My SIL's SIL (who she hates) once told me

at a party ... " well, why don't you just make her stay " .....one *well-meaning*

guy once told me " if you talk to Maddie in a room with an echo, like a

bathroom, she'll learn to talk " ...another... " why can't you just teach her not

to climb railings " .....I swear, after a while, you just don't have the energy

to even answer!!!! I never mind questions...you can turn every one of the

above statements into an honest question filled with respect....for

instance.. " why does Maddie climb roofs and high railings " or " what would

happen if you made Maddie stay at a party " or " why doesn't Maddie

talk " ......see what I mean??? ;-)

Donna