Guest guest Posted July 7, 1999 Report Share Posted July 7, 1999 I can't agree with you more Alley. Its difficult for some people to talk to others about how they are feeling, because so many people just have no idea what this does to a body and mind.<br><br>If we can't come to a Hepatitis message board called Hepatitis C Support Group for unconditional support, where the heck can we go? <br><br>This is one of the best boards I have seen online, and I have seen tons of them in the last year and a half, and the info here is nearly ALWAYS factual. <br><br>Support is a wonderful thing and very necessary for people with HepC. Some people just haven't learned to accept their diagnosis yet and can't share their fears with others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 1999 Report Share Posted July 7, 1999 & lt; & lt;Some people just haven't learned to accept their diagnosis yet and can't share their fears with others & gt; & gt;<br><br>Yes and even then, I know I go in and out of denial. Sometimes I go for weeks not doing any of my hep stuff, listservs and boards and such, just to clear my mind.<br><br>Thank gawd my hubby lets me complain without making me feel bad. I can say I feel like shit or my feet hurt or whatever hurts 50 times a day and he just hugs me and helps me get the rest I need when I can.<br><br>Sometimes I just get so tired it wears down my emotional state and it's hard to be positive then. But I'll get back on an upswing and be my happy old self.<br><br>It's ok to whine. This stuff gets old. I'm getting old too course, I do expect someone not to whine constantly, but we all have our bad days, sometimes it's bad weeks.<br><br>alley the expert whiner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2000 Report Share Posted May 4, 2000 Gillian, It's the weirdest thing, before we adopted four children I could grow anything. I even had a prayer plant to bloom. They tell me they have to be really " happy " plants to do that. Anyway, our house began to have a touch of the tropical look. Tada, 1981 arrived and so did four children from Costa Rica. I kept noticing a leaf here...a leaf there on the floor or table. Then I noticed yellow scriveled up things hanging here and there. Russ isn't one to notice such things unless it's really getting bad. He caught me " trimming " leaves off and checking the moisture content. What are you giving these plants? My reply, " kiditis " . I forgot to water them then when I realized it, I would drowned them. So now he just tells me not to buy any ' cause I kill them. That's probably what is happening to the plant at the radiologist. Thanks for the virus warning...I had been warned by a guy in the Air Force. Their computers were hit yesterday. One of the bad things is, it will use your address file and mail itself to your friends. Have a good day...watch out for those falling plant parts! Ha! Donna Gillian Rowe <roweg@...> wrote: Hi Donna So it was YOU! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2001 Report Share Posted May 23, 2001 Hi Debbie and all, I want to come to the party too. I'll bring some games...like "pin the tail on the doctor", "charades - guess what hurts", and how about some balloons that we can pop? (a good stress reliever!). It'll be FUN!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2001 Report Share Posted July 12, 2001 awwww Sue, you poor sweet thing. I must say, my pity is for your parents, in that they can go through their lives being so ignorant of the true wonders that are right under their noses. If your father thinks money can buy what he can get from his grandchildren, he's got bigger problems than you have. Definitely their loss not yours. Put those lovely children on a plane to New Zealand and I'll pick them up at the airport. You could do with a trip here to recover from your surgery also :-) Seriously though, do you have assistance over there for children with disabilities. In New Zealand, we are entitled to up to 28 days per year respite care? Hopefully there's something like that for you guys. This will all pass *Hugs* Diane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2001 Report Share Posted July 12, 2001 awwww Sue, you poor sweet thing. I must say, my pity is for your parents, in that they can go through their lives being so ignorant of the true wonders that are right under their noses. If your father thinks money can buy what he can get from his grandchildren, he's got bigger problems than you have. Definitely their loss not yours. Put those lovely children on a plane to New Zealand and I'll pick them up at the airport. You could do with a trip here to recover from your surgery also :-) Seriously though, do you have assistance over there for children with disabilities. In New Zealand, we are entitled to up to 28 days per year respite care? Hopefully there's something like that for you guys. This will all pass *Hugs* Diane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 Dear Sharon, I'm sure every one of us would be having the same feelings in your shoes. You should be proud of yourself for admitting them outloud (so to speak). No one who hasn't experienced it 24/7 can understand the emotional wear and tear of living with a child with OCD, so OF COURSE you feel as if you are doing all the hard work and he is reaping all the benefits. Does your son have a therapist? Could you get an appointment with his therapist or a different one just to talk about these feelings? I have spent an hour with my daughter's therapist once just to basically cry on her shoulder, but for insurance purposes it was billed as part of her treatment (which it was - I need the encouragement and advice to carry on at times too!). And having a talk with someone who really knows what you're going through makes all the difference. They already have seen how hard it has been. Anyway, talking it out with someone might help and would make it easier to support your son 100% - if your son is anything like my daughter, he will instantly pick up on the subtle feelings you're having, which would be a shame. Feel free to gripe here as much as you need to - that's what this is for!! And a HUGE congratulations to your son, and to you - how wonderful that the hard work is paying off!!! in Nevada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 Dear Sharon, I'm sure every one of us would be having the same feelings in your shoes. You should be proud of yourself for admitting them outloud (so to speak). No one who hasn't experienced it 24/7 can understand the emotional wear and tear of living with a child with OCD, so OF COURSE you feel as if you are doing all the hard work and he is reaping all the benefits. Does your son have a therapist? Could you get an appointment with his therapist or a different one just to talk about these feelings? I have spent an hour with my daughter's therapist once just to basically cry on her shoulder, but for insurance purposes it was billed as part of her treatment (which it was - I need the encouragement and advice to carry on at times too!). And having a talk with someone who really knows what you're going through makes all the difference. They already have seen how hard it has been. Anyway, talking it out with someone might help and would make it easier to support your son 100% - if your son is anything like my daughter, he will instantly pick up on the subtle feelings you're having, which would be a shame. Feel free to gripe here as much as you need to - that's what this is for!! And a HUGE congratulations to your son, and to you - how wonderful that the hard work is paying off!!! in Nevada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 Dear Sharon, I'm sure every one of us would be having the same feelings in your shoes. You should be proud of yourself for admitting them outloud (so to speak). No one who hasn't experienced it 24/7 can understand the emotional wear and tear of living with a child with OCD, so OF COURSE you feel as if you are doing all the hard work and he is reaping all the benefits. Does your son have a therapist? Could you get an appointment with his therapist or a different one just to talk about these feelings? I have spent an hour with my daughter's therapist once just to basically cry on her shoulder, but for insurance purposes it was billed as part of her treatment (which it was - I need the encouragement and advice to carry on at times too!). And having a talk with someone who really knows what you're going through makes all the difference. They already have seen how hard it has been. Anyway, talking it out with someone might help and would make it easier to support your son 100% - if your son is anything like my daughter, he will instantly pick up on the subtle feelings you're having, which would be a shame. Feel free to gripe here as much as you need to - that's what this is for!! And a HUGE congratulations to your son, and to you - how wonderful that the hard work is paying off!!! in Nevada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 Dear Sharon, When it's all done and over with, your son will always remember who was always there for him, who did all the work. I know it's hard to see his dad doing nothing, but that's the truth of it. I'm a single parent with a 12 year old boy who doesn't see his own dad but maybe 2 weeks every 2 years or so. He doesn't like his dad because he is so much like him. (His dad has similiar disturbances.) Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in this. I know how it feels. I'm a single parent until things are going well--then this other 'missing' side of my sons' life suddenly shows up, trying to claim all the glory. No one in my son's life recognizes this absent parent. Then he disappears into the wall paper for another couple of years. (He lives in Italy. We are in the U.S.) It's been going that way since before my son was born. (I've never had the touch problem with my son and his father, but I could see where that could happen. I'm thinking it's a good thing my son can't get to and read your e-mail! He'd probably get the idea.) Good luck. M PS I also homeschool. pity party > I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 Dear Sharon, When it's all done and over with, your son will always remember who was always there for him, who did all the work. I know it's hard to see his dad doing nothing, but that's the truth of it. I'm a single parent with a 12 year old boy who doesn't see his own dad but maybe 2 weeks every 2 years or so. He doesn't like his dad because he is so much like him. (His dad has similiar disturbances.) Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in this. I know how it feels. I'm a single parent until things are going well--then this other 'missing' side of my sons' life suddenly shows up, trying to claim all the glory. No one in my son's life recognizes this absent parent. Then he disappears into the wall paper for another couple of years. (He lives in Italy. We are in the U.S.) It's been going that way since before my son was born. (I've never had the touch problem with my son and his father, but I could see where that could happen. I'm thinking it's a good thing my son can't get to and read your e-mail! He'd probably get the idea.) Good luck. M PS I also homeschool. pity party > I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 (((hugs))) Sharon! Feel free to vent here because as you said, it's important for right now to have your support. But I COMPLETELY understand what you're going through. Hang in there as things will settle down, this is all new for and his dad so the excitement and everything is still evident and daily. But things will settle, get more routine and personalities will tend to come out more. My oldest son is 17, this past April, and hasn't seen his dad at all since age 10. He's not too far away either, long story, but at first it was OUR decision not to see his dad for many years. He keeps in touch sporadically by calling (usually drunk) wanting to see the kids but we have yet to go. Luckily he can't come see us (no license!) plus knows until we visit him, he's not exactly welcome at our home. Anyway, I tend to think at times that when we DO finally visit, Randall (my oldest, non-OCD) might tend to find similar interests with him and even eventually want to stay overnight. But that's yet to come....... I've never told their dad about 's OCD either, don't know if I will. So, my opinion, have your pity party (completely normal & understandable, I'd be doing it too!), vent to us, and wait for things to settle down. Maybe look at this as a time to do things for yourself, things you like to do and have put off. Also, my opinion, I think until our " kids " get to actually be adults that they won't tend to see things, the things parents have actually done for them and helped them with and how we've been there for them - until they're out on their own. And WILL see you in this light as he matures later. As for the " dad being right " part - that's probably somewhat also typical of just being a teenager. Even without my sons' dad being a part of their lives, I find that, according to my kids, they're getting more " right " in their opinions and I'm apparently getting more WRONG!! ((((hugs)))) > I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself day. > > My 17y/o OCD son decided last week to try and have some contact with his dad > which he hadn't seen in over 2 years (they had talked by phone, but his dad > had not seen him - he lives in same town about 6 blocks from us). His dad > has been the person that his OCD deemed " dirty " , so he has been unable to > touch anything that ever had anything to do with his dad in the past. A > major fear of his has been being touched by his dad or being around him. > Well, thanks to the help of medicine and HARD work, he decided to try and > overcome his fear. I took him by his dad's house and they visited at the > car window - step one was a success! > > The next day, he called and had his dad come pick him up. It was touch and > go with much anxiety, but he handled it and now feels more confident that he > has had a victory with that part of his OCD. He has been to see him for the > last 3 nites and even worked up the courage to go into his house (a major, > major accomplishment). > > I am very proud of him and told him so. I admire his courage to do the > thing that he feared the most. I can see his confidence growing - and hope > he'll be able to tackle other OCD things. Now comes the pity party part - I > feel very selfish, but these feelings are sort of overwhelming me. I'm > talking to myself constantly. Here it is - now he talks constantly about > his dad. All of sudden whatever I say is wrong, because his dad sees it > differently (we are VERY different). He thinks it's boring here because > there is so much to do there (his dad has undiagnosed and untreated hoarding > OCD so there is LOTS of junk around to mess with and experiment with). His > dad has plenty of money, and has only himself to take care of, while I > struggle to make ends meet and deal with the daily ongoing struggle of OCD. > > His dad has never had to deal with a melt-down (I don't think he'd be able > to handle it), he has had to deal with none of the stress of the rituals (he > didn't even know had OCD til about 6 months ago), doesn't have to deal > with the appointments, the drives to the appointments. He doesn't hear the > suicide talk. He is not at all involved in the process of homeschooling. > It seems like he reaps the benefits while I do the work (now is that selfish > and hateful or what?). I wasn't anticipating this rush of resentful, > jealous feelings. In fact, I have encouraged as he sought the courage > to contact his dad. I was there to play middle man in the beginning and now > I feel like I'm on the short end of the stick. I know this is immature and > it will pass, but I have to try so hard not to let it show. > > I am truly VERY proud of and his accomplishments and I do NOT want to > jeapordize that in any way. But I sure am tired of hearing the glories of > his dad (the same dad who hasn't given him a Christmas or birthday gift in 4 > years). is making progress and I must keep my lip zipped - venting > here sure does help!! > > The positives of this so much outweight the negative feelings I have though. > is now able to touch me (he has not been able to hug me for the last > 2 years). He came home from his dad's and gave me a big bear hug - stunned > me! I can see that he is not as anxious now about touching many things in > our house. He overcame a major hurdle and seems to have more hope for the > future. I must get my feelings in check. > > Sorry this is so long - thanks for listening. > > Sharon in Oklahoma > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 (((hugs))) Sharon! Feel free to vent here because as you said, it's important for right now to have your support. But I COMPLETELY understand what you're going through. Hang in there as things will settle down, this is all new for and his dad so the excitement and everything is still evident and daily. But things will settle, get more routine and personalities will tend to come out more. My oldest son is 17, this past April, and hasn't seen his dad at all since age 10. He's not too far away either, long story, but at first it was OUR decision not to see his dad for many years. He keeps in touch sporadically by calling (usually drunk) wanting to see the kids but we have yet to go. Luckily he can't come see us (no license!) plus knows until we visit him, he's not exactly welcome at our home. Anyway, I tend to think at times that when we DO finally visit, Randall (my oldest, non-OCD) might tend to find similar interests with him and even eventually want to stay overnight. But that's yet to come....... I've never told their dad about 's OCD either, don't know if I will. So, my opinion, have your pity party (completely normal & understandable, I'd be doing it too!), vent to us, and wait for things to settle down. Maybe look at this as a time to do things for yourself, things you like to do and have put off. Also, my opinion, I think until our " kids " get to actually be adults that they won't tend to see things, the things parents have actually done for them and helped them with and how we've been there for them - until they're out on their own. And WILL see you in this light as he matures later. As for the " dad being right " part - that's probably somewhat also typical of just being a teenager. Even without my sons' dad being a part of their lives, I find that, according to my kids, they're getting more " right " in their opinions and I'm apparently getting more WRONG!! ((((hugs)))) > I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself day. > > My 17y/o OCD son decided last week to try and have some contact with his dad > which he hadn't seen in over 2 years (they had talked by phone, but his dad > had not seen him - he lives in same town about 6 blocks from us). His dad > has been the person that his OCD deemed " dirty " , so he has been unable to > touch anything that ever had anything to do with his dad in the past. A > major fear of his has been being touched by his dad or being around him. > Well, thanks to the help of medicine and HARD work, he decided to try and > overcome his fear. I took him by his dad's house and they visited at the > car window - step one was a success! > > The next day, he called and had his dad come pick him up. It was touch and > go with much anxiety, but he handled it and now feels more confident that he > has had a victory with that part of his OCD. He has been to see him for the > last 3 nites and even worked up the courage to go into his house (a major, > major accomplishment). > > I am very proud of him and told him so. I admire his courage to do the > thing that he feared the most. I can see his confidence growing - and hope > he'll be able to tackle other OCD things. Now comes the pity party part - I > feel very selfish, but these feelings are sort of overwhelming me. I'm > talking to myself constantly. Here it is - now he talks constantly about > his dad. All of sudden whatever I say is wrong, because his dad sees it > differently (we are VERY different). He thinks it's boring here because > there is so much to do there (his dad has undiagnosed and untreated hoarding > OCD so there is LOTS of junk around to mess with and experiment with). His > dad has plenty of money, and has only himself to take care of, while I > struggle to make ends meet and deal with the daily ongoing struggle of OCD. > > His dad has never had to deal with a melt-down (I don't think he'd be able > to handle it), he has had to deal with none of the stress of the rituals (he > didn't even know had OCD til about 6 months ago), doesn't have to deal > with the appointments, the drives to the appointments. He doesn't hear the > suicide talk. He is not at all involved in the process of homeschooling. > It seems like he reaps the benefits while I do the work (now is that selfish > and hateful or what?). I wasn't anticipating this rush of resentful, > jealous feelings. In fact, I have encouraged as he sought the courage > to contact his dad. I was there to play middle man in the beginning and now > I feel like I'm on the short end of the stick. I know this is immature and > it will pass, but I have to try so hard not to let it show. > > I am truly VERY proud of and his accomplishments and I do NOT want to > jeapordize that in any way. But I sure am tired of hearing the glories of > his dad (the same dad who hasn't given him a Christmas or birthday gift in 4 > years). is making progress and I must keep my lip zipped - venting > here sure does help!! > > The positives of this so much outweight the negative feelings I have though. > is now able to touch me (he has not been able to hug me for the last > 2 years). He came home from his dad's and gave me a big bear hug - stunned > me! I can see that he is not as anxious now about touching many things in > our house. He overcame a major hurdle and seems to have more hope for the > future. I must get my feelings in check. > > Sorry this is so long - thanks for listening. > > Sharon in Oklahoma > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 (((hugs))) Sharon! Feel free to vent here because as you said, it's important for right now to have your support. But I COMPLETELY understand what you're going through. Hang in there as things will settle down, this is all new for and his dad so the excitement and everything is still evident and daily. But things will settle, get more routine and personalities will tend to come out more. My oldest son is 17, this past April, and hasn't seen his dad at all since age 10. He's not too far away either, long story, but at first it was OUR decision not to see his dad for many years. He keeps in touch sporadically by calling (usually drunk) wanting to see the kids but we have yet to go. Luckily he can't come see us (no license!) plus knows until we visit him, he's not exactly welcome at our home. Anyway, I tend to think at times that when we DO finally visit, Randall (my oldest, non-OCD) might tend to find similar interests with him and even eventually want to stay overnight. But that's yet to come....... I've never told their dad about 's OCD either, don't know if I will. So, my opinion, have your pity party (completely normal & understandable, I'd be doing it too!), vent to us, and wait for things to settle down. Maybe look at this as a time to do things for yourself, things you like to do and have put off. Also, my opinion, I think until our " kids " get to actually be adults that they won't tend to see things, the things parents have actually done for them and helped them with and how we've been there for them - until they're out on their own. And WILL see you in this light as he matures later. As for the " dad being right " part - that's probably somewhat also typical of just being a teenager. Even without my sons' dad being a part of their lives, I find that, according to my kids, they're getting more " right " in their opinions and I'm apparently getting more WRONG!! ((((hugs)))) > I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself day. > > My 17y/o OCD son decided last week to try and have some contact with his dad > which he hadn't seen in over 2 years (they had talked by phone, but his dad > had not seen him - he lives in same town about 6 blocks from us). His dad > has been the person that his OCD deemed " dirty " , so he has been unable to > touch anything that ever had anything to do with his dad in the past. A > major fear of his has been being touched by his dad or being around him. > Well, thanks to the help of medicine and HARD work, he decided to try and > overcome his fear. I took him by his dad's house and they visited at the > car window - step one was a success! > > The next day, he called and had his dad come pick him up. It was touch and > go with much anxiety, but he handled it and now feels more confident that he > has had a victory with that part of his OCD. He has been to see him for the > last 3 nites and even worked up the courage to go into his house (a major, > major accomplishment). > > I am very proud of him and told him so. I admire his courage to do the > thing that he feared the most. I can see his confidence growing - and hope > he'll be able to tackle other OCD things. Now comes the pity party part - I > feel very selfish, but these feelings are sort of overwhelming me. I'm > talking to myself constantly. Here it is - now he talks constantly about > his dad. All of sudden whatever I say is wrong, because his dad sees it > differently (we are VERY different). He thinks it's boring here because > there is so much to do there (his dad has undiagnosed and untreated hoarding > OCD so there is LOTS of junk around to mess with and experiment with). His > dad has plenty of money, and has only himself to take care of, while I > struggle to make ends meet and deal with the daily ongoing struggle of OCD. > > His dad has never had to deal with a melt-down (I don't think he'd be able > to handle it), he has had to deal with none of the stress of the rituals (he > didn't even know had OCD til about 6 months ago), doesn't have to deal > with the appointments, the drives to the appointments. He doesn't hear the > suicide talk. He is not at all involved in the process of homeschooling. > It seems like he reaps the benefits while I do the work (now is that selfish > and hateful or what?). I wasn't anticipating this rush of resentful, > jealous feelings. In fact, I have encouraged as he sought the courage > to contact his dad. I was there to play middle man in the beginning and now > I feel like I'm on the short end of the stick. I know this is immature and > it will pass, but I have to try so hard not to let it show. > > I am truly VERY proud of and his accomplishments and I do NOT want to > jeapordize that in any way. But I sure am tired of hearing the glories of > his dad (the same dad who hasn't given him a Christmas or birthday gift in 4 > years). is making progress and I must keep my lip zipped - venting > here sure does help!! > > The positives of this so much outweight the negative feelings I have though. > is now able to touch me (he has not been able to hug me for the last > 2 years). He came home from his dad's and gave me a big bear hug - stunned > me! I can see that he is not as anxious now about touching many things in > our house. He overcame a major hurdle and seems to have more hope for the > future. I must get my feelings in check. > > Sorry this is so long - thanks for listening. > > Sharon in Oklahoma > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 Dear Sharon, I just wanted to chime in on the support for you. Everyone else has already said everything I would have, so I'll just send another hug your way. :-) I recently sent out a plea for help, and this list was so uplifting, informative and supportive. Vent away ... that's one of the reasons we're all here. Blessings, > I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself day. > > My 17y/o OCD son decided last week to try and have some contact with his dad > which he hadn't seen in over 2 years (they had talked by phone, but his dad > had not seen him - he lives in same town about 6 blocks from us). His dad > has been the person that his OCD deemed " dirty " , so he has been unable to > touch anything that ever had anything to do with his dad in the past. A > major fear of his has been being touched by his dad or being around him. > Well, thanks to the help of medicine and HARD work, he decided to try and > overcome his fear. I took him by his dad's house and they visited at the > car window - step one was a success! > > The next day, he called and had his dad come pick him up. It was touch and > go with much anxiety, but he handled it and now feels more confident that he > has had a victory with that part of his OCD. He has been to see him for the > last 3 nites and even worked up the courage to go into his house (a major, > major accomplishment). > > I am very proud of him and told him so. I admire his courage to do the > thing that he feared the most. I can see his confidence growing - and hope > he'll be able to tackle other OCD things. Now comes the pity party part - I > feel very selfish, but these feelings are sort of overwhelming me. I'm > talking to myself constantly. Here it is - now he talks constantly about > his dad. All of sudden whatever I say is wrong, because his dad sees it > differently (we are VERY different). He thinks it's boring here because > there is so much to do there (his dad has undiagnosed and untreated hoarding > OCD so there is LOTS of junk around to mess with and experiment with). His > dad has plenty of money, and has only himself to take care of, while I > struggle to make ends meet and deal with the daily ongoing struggle of OCD. > > His dad has never had to deal with a melt-down (I don't think he'd be able > to handle it), he has had to deal with none of the stress of the rituals (he > didn't even know had OCD til about 6 months ago), doesn't have to deal > with the appointments, the drives to the appointments. He doesn't hear the > suicide talk. He is not at all involved in the process of homeschooling. > It seems like he reaps the benefits while I do the work (now is that selfish > and hateful or what?). I wasn't anticipating this rush of resentful, > jealous feelings. In fact, I have encouraged as he sought the courage > to contact his dad. I was there to play middle man in the beginning and now > I feel like I'm on the short end of the stick. I know this is immature and > it will pass, but I have to try so hard not to let it show. > > I am truly VERY proud of and his accomplishments and I do NOT want to > jeapordize that in any way. But I sure am tired of hearing the glories of > his dad (the same dad who hasn't given him a Christmas or birthday gift in 4 > years). is making progress and I must keep my lip zipped - venting > here sure does help!! > > The positives of this so much outweight the negative feelings I have though. > is now able to touch me (he has not been able to hug me for the last > 2 years). He came home from his dad's and gave me a big bear hug - stunned > me! I can see that he is not as anxious now about touching many things in > our house. He overcame a major hurdle and seems to have more hope for the > future. I must get my feelings in check. > > Sorry this is so long - thanks for listening. > > Sharon in Oklahoma > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 Dear Sharon, I just wanted to chime in on the support for you. Everyone else has already said everything I would have, so I'll just send another hug your way. :-) I recently sent out a plea for help, and this list was so uplifting, informative and supportive. Vent away ... that's one of the reasons we're all here. Blessings, > I haven't posted in a while, but I'm having a feel sorry for myself day. > > My 17y/o OCD son decided last week to try and have some contact with his dad > which he hadn't seen in over 2 years (they had talked by phone, but his dad > had not seen him - he lives in same town about 6 blocks from us). His dad > has been the person that his OCD deemed " dirty " , so he has been unable to > touch anything that ever had anything to do with his dad in the past. A > major fear of his has been being touched by his dad or being around him. > Well, thanks to the help of medicine and HARD work, he decided to try and > overcome his fear. I took him by his dad's house and they visited at the > car window - step one was a success! > > The next day, he called and had his dad come pick him up. It was touch and > go with much anxiety, but he handled it and now feels more confident that he > has had a victory with that part of his OCD. He has been to see him for the > last 3 nites and even worked up the courage to go into his house (a major, > major accomplishment). > > I am very proud of him and told him so. I admire his courage to do the > thing that he feared the most. I can see his confidence growing - and hope > he'll be able to tackle other OCD things. Now comes the pity party part - I > feel very selfish, but these feelings are sort of overwhelming me. I'm > talking to myself constantly. Here it is - now he talks constantly about > his dad. All of sudden whatever I say is wrong, because his dad sees it > differently (we are VERY different). He thinks it's boring here because > there is so much to do there (his dad has undiagnosed and untreated hoarding > OCD so there is LOTS of junk around to mess with and experiment with). His > dad has plenty of money, and has only himself to take care of, while I > struggle to make ends meet and deal with the daily ongoing struggle of OCD. > > His dad has never had to deal with a melt-down (I don't think he'd be able > to handle it), he has had to deal with none of the stress of the rituals (he > didn't even know had OCD til about 6 months ago), doesn't have to deal > with the appointments, the drives to the appointments. He doesn't hear the > suicide talk. He is not at all involved in the process of homeschooling. > It seems like he reaps the benefits while I do the work (now is that selfish > and hateful or what?). I wasn't anticipating this rush of resentful, > jealous feelings. In fact, I have encouraged as he sought the courage > to contact his dad. I was there to play middle man in the beginning and now > I feel like I'm on the short end of the stick. I know this is immature and > it will pass, but I have to try so hard not to let it show. > > I am truly VERY proud of and his accomplishments and I do NOT want to > jeapordize that in any way. But I sure am tired of hearing the glories of > his dad (the same dad who hasn't given him a Christmas or birthday gift in 4 > years). is making progress and I must keep my lip zipped - venting > here sure does help!! > > The positives of this so much outweight the negative feelings I have though. > is now able to touch me (he has not been able to hug me for the last > 2 years). He came home from his dad's and gave me a big bear hug - stunned > me! I can see that he is not as anxious now about touching many things in > our house. He overcame a major hurdle and seems to have more hope for the > future. I must get my feelings in check. > > Sorry this is so long - thanks for listening. > > Sharon in Oklahoma > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2002 Report Share Posted August 6, 2002 Jeannette, Can I join the party today? I've been itching all day and feeling very irritable too. It must be in the air. I hope the injection is not to uncomfortable for you and just remember it only lasts a few seconds. I've had my knee injected once and was dreading it terribly. When it was over I didn't even feel it so maybe yours will be the same. Scratching like a cat also here in VA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2002 Report Share Posted August 6, 2002 JEANETTE, THAT IS FUNNY, I TELL MY HUSBAND SOMETIMES THAT I FEEL LIKE MY LIVER IS GOING BUST OUT OF MY RIBS BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS TRUELY POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER GO BACK TO SCRATCHING NOW JENNIFER, IN GEORGIA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2002 Report Share Posted August 6, 2002 Dear Jeannette, Oh, I hope your pain goes away quickly! I am crossing my fingers the treatment works. [ ] Pity Party Hi, I am having a pity party for one tonight. I hurt so much around my liver and am scratching for England. I went to the doctors and he said that my liver is so swollen at the moment and so painfull that he thinks I may have " popped " a couple of ribs so I have to go back on friday morning he is going to give me an injection to ease the pain for me. He also said that it will probably hurt a lot because he is going to inject in the most painfull part around the liver but it will numb for quite a while so I will be able to get on with living. Now that sounds fun doesn't it, it is so long since I was diagnosed and along with everything else I think I have forgotten how to live. I did say I was having a pity party did'nt I, Well please if you have got a moment give me a thought on friday, now I will go and have another scratch I knew I should have been born a cat. Love and Hugs Jeanette UK AIH dx 1998 Cirrhosis dx 2001 Get a bigger mailbox -- choose a size that fits your needs. http://uk.docs./mail_storage.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2002 Report Share Posted August 6, 2002 Ouch! That scratching and injection sound terrible! Please be careful! Hopefully, they will get the itching under control. God bless you and take a deep breath and you can have all the pity party you wish! debby [ ] Pity Party Hi, I am having a pity party for one tonight. I hurt so much around my liver and am scratching for England. I went to the doctors and he said that my liver is so swollen at the moment and so painfull that he thinks I may have "popped" a couple of ribs so I have to go back on friday morning he is going to give me an injection to ease the pain for me. He also said that it will probably hurt a lot because he is going to inject in the most painfull part around the liver but it will numb for quite a while so I will be able to get on with living. Now that sounds fun doesn't it, it is so long since I was diagnosed and along with everything else I think I have forgotten how to live. I did say I was having a pity party did'nt I, Well please if you have got a moment give me a thought on friday, now I will go and have another scratch I knew I should have been born a cat. Love and Hugs Jeanette UK AIH dx 1998 Cirrhosis dx 2001 Get a bigger mailbox -- choose a size that fits your needs.http://uk.docs./mail_storage.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 7, 2002 Report Share Posted August 7, 2002 Dearest Jeanette, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I will pray that you can get relief from the pain and itching. Sending you hugs and prayers. Love, Ruth > Hi, I am having a pity party for one tonight. I hurt so much around my liver and am scratching for England. I went to the doctors and he said that my liver is so swollen at the moment and so painfull that he thinks I may have " popped " a couple of ribs so I have to go back on friday morning he is going to give me an injection to ease the pain for me. He also said that it will probably hurt a lot because he is going to inject in the most painfull part around the liver but it will numb for quite a while so I will be able to get on with living. Now that sounds fun doesn't it, it is so long since I was diagnosed and along with everything else I think I have forgotten how to live. I did say I was having a pity party did'nt I, Well please if you have got a moment give me a thought on friday, now I will go and have another scratch I knew I should have been born a cat. Love and Hugs Jeanette UK AIH dx 1998 Cirrhosis dx 2001 > > > > --------------------------------- > Get a bigger mailbox -- choose a size that fits your needs. > > http://uk.docs./mail_storage.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 7, 2002 Report Share Posted August 7, 2002 Dear Jennette Sorry to hear that things are not going well for you. and I will be thinking of you this Friday. I hope you feel better soon. Lori ('s Mom) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2002 Report Share Posted August 9, 2002 Janette, It is Friday and I am just now reading your post. Lots of thoughts are with you. Talk about deserving a pity party! With all you have been through you absolutely deserve one. Have a black tie! Lots of Champagne & Chocolate & Roses.... How about if we plan a big on-line pity party, Anyone who wants to come is invited. I will bring the afore mentioned items, Roses, champagne & chocolate... How about it? Any one want to come? Seriously, this shot sounds awful ...but if it helps... I think of all the symptoms we have the itching has to be the worst! Patty -----Original Message-----From: Jeanette Carpenter [mailto:jeanette_cuk@...]Sent: Tuesday, August 06, 2002 5:49 PM Subject: [ ] Pity PartyHi, I am having a pity party for one tonight. I hurt so much around my liver and am scratching for England. I went to the doctors and he said that my liver is so swollen at the moment and so painfull that he thinks I may have "popped" a couple of ribs so I have to go back on friday morning he is going to give me an injection to ease the pain for me. He also said that it will probably hurt a lot because he is going to inject in the most painfull part around the liver but it will numb for quite a while so I will be able to get on with living. Now that sounds fun doesn't it, it is so long since I was diagnosed and along with everything else I think I have forgotten how to live. I did say I was having a pity party did'nt I, Well please if you have got a moment give me a thought on friday, now I will go and have another scratch I knew I should have been born a cat. Love and Hugs Jeanette UK AIH dx 1998 Cirrhosis dx 2001 Get a bigger mailbox -- choose a size that fits your needs.http://uk.docs./mail_storage.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2002 Report Share Posted August 10, 2002 In a message dated 8/10/02 7:32:26 AM Pacific Daylight Time, duffey48@... writes: << I know what you mean Gail. I take it as a personal offense against my Maddie!!!! I don't want pity and I don't expect people to understand (geez, how COULD I). What I DO want is respect. I don't want people putting expectations on me that are unreasonable because I have Maddie. And most of all, I don't want people judging me or telling me how THEY would do it. Donna >> Donna, Don't you think sometimes when people tell you how THEY would do it, it's a great opportunity to educate them? Not that it always works that way, but I found sometimes that because they showed some kind of interest, they will listen to your whys and why nots to their suggestions. Gail :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2002 Report Share Posted August 10, 2002 In a message dated 8/10/02 11:15:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time, smilinggail@... writes: > Donna, > Don't you think sometimes when people tell you how THEY would do it, it's a > great opportunity to educate them? Not that it always works that way, but > I > found sometimes that because they showed some kind of interest, they will > listen to your whys and why nots to their suggestions. > Interest I welcome. It's the rude " if you only did this, that wouldn't happen " . I actually haven't had that in a long time because no one else seems to figure her out, so no unwanted *suggestions* lately!!! Boy, have I heard some doozies though!!!!! My SIL's SIL (who she hates) once told me at a party ... " well, why don't you just make her stay " .....one *well-meaning* guy once told me " if you talk to Maddie in a room with an echo, like a bathroom, she'll learn to talk " ...another... " why can't you just teach her not to climb railings " .....I swear, after a while, you just don't have the energy to even answer!!!! I never mind questions...you can turn every one of the above statements into an honest question filled with respect....for instance.. " why does Maddie climb roofs and high railings " or " what would happen if you made Maddie stay at a party " or " why doesn't Maddie talk " ......see what I mean??? ;-) Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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