emotions

[Guest guest]

Dear Deb,

" ditto " as to all the others...please take care of that part of your SELF; it

hurts, I know. Sheri Lynn

[Guest guest]

Looks like most of us our in fact, back burner babies. I think we all need

to explore this issue within ourselves to really heal completely. Sheri Lynn

[Guest guest]

Carolann,

I think we should all start a journal, a personal journal on our thoughts,

reflections, dreams, memories, etc., to see where it might lead us over the

course of the year emotionally and physically. Sheri Lynn

[Guest guest]

Dear Sheri Lynn,

I've explored the " issues within " myself ad nauseum, and have tried probably

every therapy known to womankind, yet the part within in me that was hurt,

and still feels " defective " has yet to be healed. Any suggestions out there?

AntJoan

[Guest guest]

Ditto, for me too. Especially the part Louise Hays mentioned about not feeling

that I could speak up or express my opinion ..

Obviously trauma effects our physical health.. Maybe even many years later.

--kathleen

In a message dated Wed, 19 Apr 2000 11:02:49 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

" Carolann " <carolann@...> writes:

> please include me as well...I guess all of our stories might make for an

> interesting novel.

>

>

>

> Thanks,

> Carolann

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> eLerts

> It's Easy. It's Fun. Best of All, it's Free!

> 1/3080/7/_/6563/_/956199589/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Back burner baby here.... the death of my parents (mom at 14 and dad at 24)

both seemed to hit me years after the fact.

Margaret

[Guest guest]

It depends on what happened to you...the solution could be art classes,

church groups, helping the elderly, full body massage, yoga, hypnosis etc. I

think whatever this monster is, it usually fits a pattern...kinda like

cutting out a new dress sewing it up, putting it on and feeling better about

yourself.

I hope I am making sense...try to fit the situation with a similar situation

out past your front door that can turn a negative into a positive because of

something you our doing to cast it away from you; this works like a sponge,

it can absorb the pain instead of you holding on to it and it absorbing you!

Sheri Lynn

[Guest guest]

Opinions and speaking come from the throat area...isn't that close to the

thyroid??

Interesting...Sheri Lynn

[Guest guest]

A feeling of being abandoned even though it was not something your parents

could help...you need to find an older friend that you could bond with and

that would see you as a surrogate daughter...Sheri Lynn

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/20/00 4:43:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time, bpicker2@...

writes:

<< I hope I am making sense...try to fit the situation with a similar

situation

out past your front door that can turn a negative into a positive because of

something you our doing to cast it away from you; this works like a sponge,

it can absorb the pain instead of you holding on to it and it absorbing you!

Sheri Lynn >>

Sheri Lynn,

This sounds very profound, but I'm not sure exactly what it means. Can you

be more specific?

Thanks,

AntJoan

[Guest guest]

Ok, lets say you were emotionally abused as a child...at my church there is

an organization called " Rainbows " and they train people like you and me to

counsel children whose parents are separated, divorcing, or just don't have

time for them like they should. So by fitting the " pattern " of what is

hurting inside of you with what you can do outside of you, that child, etc.,

can be helped, and low and behold, you will also be helping another person at

the same time ...You! Sheri Lynn

[Guest guest]

Sheri Lynn,

Sounds like a great idea.....comparing them might prove to be interesting

too. Great idea!

Best Wishes,

Carolann

[Guest guest]

Dear Sheri Lynn,

Thanks for explaining.

AntJoan

[Guest guest]

This sounds really interesting. Who setup the organization?? Or how would

one go about setting one up???

Lynn

Re: Emotions

Ok, lets say you were emotionally abused as a child...at my church there is

an organization called " Rainbows " and they train people like you and me to

counsel children whose parents are separated, divorcing, or just don't have

time for them like they should. So by fitting the " pattern " of what is

hurting inside of you with what you can do outside of you, that child, etc.,

can be helped, and low and behold, you will also be helping another person

at

the same time ...You! Sheri Lynn

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your high school sweetheart-where is he now? With 4.4 million alumni

already registered at Classmates.com, there's a good chance you'll

find her here. Visit your online high school class reunion at:

1/3139/7/_/6563/_/956273342/

------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

You may wish to try " The Artist's Way " . It's a book that has exercises over a

period of several weeks.

As for looking within, it can be a good idea, but you have to be prepared for

what you might find and you have to REALLY want to find it. We can lie to

ourselves better than anyone else and some really deep emotions can be buried so

deep it takes some serious dredging. Then you have to decide what you're going

to do with those memories when they surface. A case in point. A friend of mine

was raped several times by a family member about the time she reached puberty.

She completely blocked any memory or knowledge of the experience for decades,

and

then they started to surface and she had to deal with them.....

Me.

AntJoan@... wrote:

> Dear Sheri Lynn,

>

> I've explored the " issues within " myself ad nauseum, and have tried probably

> every therapy known to womankind, yet the part within in me that was hurt,

> and still feels " defective " has yet to be healed. Any suggestions out there?

>

> AntJoan

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Win $1000 this Friday!

> Go to:

> 1/2892/7/_/6563/_/956240512/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

--

It does not require many words to speak the truth.

- Chief ph

[Guest guest]

Dear Me,

I guess some people can lie to themselves, and have the ability to bury

painful memories. I don't seem to have those abilities, which is why I get

depressed a lot. I am not afraid to look at myself, or to take

responsibility for my actions. In the areas where I was hurt, I just can't

seem to heal it.

AntJoan

[Guest guest]

By all means include me among those who have history of childhood trauma. I

qualify across the board.

Peace & Light,

Re: Emotions

> You can include me, also. I think I could write a three inch novel!

>

> debspiritwalker@... wrote:

>

> > INclude me in childhood trauma poll.

> > Deb

> >

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> > Good friends, school spirit, hair-dos you'd like to forget.

> > Classmates.com has them all. And with 4.4 million alumni already

> > registered, there's a good chance you'll find your friends here:

> > 1/2885/7/_/6563/_/956175767/

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Your high school sweetheart-where is he now? With 4.4 million alumni

> already registered at Classmates.com, there's a good chance you'll

> find her here. Visit your online high school class reunion at:

> 1/3139/7/_/6563/_/956197946/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Count me in too as having a traumatic childhood!

'

RE: Emotions

> please include me as well...I guess all of our stories might make for an

> interesting novel.

>

>

>

> Thanks,

> Carolann

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> eLerts

> It's Easy. It's Fun. Best of All, it's Free!

> 1/3080/7/_/6563/_/956199589/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Congrats to your daughter

She has entered a new chapter in her life. Be that good or bad. I

was in a situation like hers for the first 4 months after my ICD.

Ignorance is such bliss!! I wish I still had that - but after it

fired, things changed. There are people who are her age or close

(I'm 22) who can vouch that it isn't easy going through school with

an ICD. Its not so much the zaps that hurt - its all the

restrictions/embarssment/worry that goes along with them.

I wish you and your daughter the best of luck - may she never be

zapped.

> There's been a lot of talk about the emotional side of dealing

with an ICD.

> My 14 year old daughter had her ICD implanted almost 6 weeks ago.

She has

> been so happy since. She told us she no longer wakes up in the

mornings

> wondering if that day would be her last. She know she could be

zapped but

> doesn't dwell on that aspect of having an ICD.

[Guest guest]

> Congrats to your daughter

The only thing to really worry about with an ICD is, what if it

doesent zap me

Of course you will never know that it didnt.

Stev

[Guest guest]

Hi folks,

I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who was implanted at 39 with an AICD due to V-Tach Torsades type. I am 42 now and have had time to look at my life and make decisions to do what I think is best and what I really want to do. That was to go into private practice. Now I am so busy, I cannot get to the Tuesday AM meeting or the one on Thurs PM. My thoughts are always with my zapper buddies.

When I first was implanted, I experienced all the emotions that we all do when faced with grief and loss. At first I was frightened to go to sleep, then angry I couldn't drive or do the things I used to be able to do, etc. I am three years post dropping over and I have done things and experienced life more abundantly as every day has been a gift. (I still experience up and down emotions and not everything is perfect). Yet, I have and the opportunity for another chance.

To the point: Everyone needs to express their emotions. We will all go through many stages of grief and loss. It is normal to be fearful, happy, angry and all of the above separately or together. Do not feel bad about expressing yourself and it is more than: AICD alive with it and dead without it. By discounting other zapmates feelings, we lose the essence of why we are a part of this , the Zapper, or any other support group.

There are many books available for us:

Two are: Heartmates by Levin &

Necessary Losses (Sorry, I cannot remember the Author's name and the book is not close at hand).

You will feel much differently as time really does heal.

Take care!

Beth York (Bloomington, Indiana)

[Guest guest]

Here in Ohio It is the same you cannot drive until you have been zap free for

one year. As an x-insurance agent I know that if they can prove you have a

icd of condition and have an accident as a result there is no coverage. You

must declare your icd to insurance company and then have a letter from your

doctor to day that you are OK to drive and are shock free

[Guest guest]

Dan... here in NJ it's not the doc that makes the decission w/regard

to driving... it's a state law... and unless it's been changed since

I recieved my first ICD, our state says one cannot drive 'til 1 yr

free from episode (fainting/blacking out)... After that one yr

period, my EP advised that I not drive long distances so I only

drive locally even though it's been several yrs since my first unit

was implanted.

JES in NJ, USA

God created your face... You create the expression

> I have a question - how do doctors assess one's ablility to drive?

> My dh with the ICD has a bar on highway driving, but not around

town. He

> has never blacked out with VT, and we had 10 times driving slowly

in to

> ICU and leisurely setting up in bed, diagnosis and

cardioversions.He was

> always conscious only a little lightheaded and sweaty. We recently

went

> on a long trip. I drove all the way, stopping often, but by the end

of

> the 2nd day I felt the risk of me driving while tired was greater

than

> the risk of him blacking out at the wheel. any ideas?

> ICDanrokky

[Guest guest]

>

our state says one cannot drive 'til 1 yr

> free from episode (fainting/blacking out)... After that one yr

> period, my EP advised that I not drive long distances so I only

> drive locally even though it's been several yrs since my first unit

> was implanted.

>

> JES in NJ, USA

One thing positive about an ICD, bad arrythmias and driving, That

AICD can sure cure you of Road Rage in a moments time

Steve .............

[Guest guest]

Do not feel bad about

> expressing yourself and it is more than: AICD alive with it and

dead

without it. By discounting other zapmates feelings, we lose the

essence of why we are a part of this , the Zapper, or any

other

support group.

Actualy, it is AICD alive with it and dead without it. Its great to

talk about how bad, how painful, and mainly, how new the situation

is.

All of us have been through the adjustment, the loses and the further

problems. Its natural to object, to complain and feel sorry.

Im not some fool who woke with an ICD and said " Isnt this wonderful " ,

In fact, I am the poor sap who has lost almost everything. Not only

health, but income, physical, mental, neuro, dreams, future amd past

(I have 25 years of amnesia:)

I spent two years in the depression from heart damage, AICD

adjustment, Loss of self and brain damage and rehab. I have seen

some

dark sides. The grieving for what was, is normal and healthy. But

you cannot let it get away from you or doom you to a life of

unhappieness. I know that is a tall order, but it is also a deep pit.

I believe that most doctors are not trained to realy tell the story

about AICDs and what they mean. Sure the basic is AICD alive with it

and dead without it, but there is so much more to fear than death.

Rarely do they express the fact that a huge part of heart attack and

arrythmia is a fried brain. SOmetimes worse than dieing, I have a

brain injured friend who chose last week that it was worse than

dieing, and she ended it with a gun.

The AICD, protects you from the heart stopage and the anoxic brain

damage and coma. It reduces the risk of arrythmia induced clots and

stroke. It helps to prevent things from becoming worse. they rarely

tell you that part.

There is nothing wrong with saying the AICD is a real pain (no pun)

But you really have got to look at what life would be without it.

Dead? Crippled, Vegatable, Blind. These things do some stuff, though

not in the plesantest manner.

But the risk of depression taking over. Wow, easily done, destroy a

life. I dont believe it is the job of those whohave lived with the

darkness to encoourage others to walk that same path. I will hold

your hand, wipe your tears and put my arms around you, but I will

also point to the horizon under those clouds and say " It gets better

over

there "

Keep on those doctors for what is the next step. Get another

opinion,

Puut the same effort into getting youself fixed as you do to get your

car fixed. First shop cant do it, go to the next.

Steve .................