boyfriend left over pa, any advice?

November 4, 2006

Betsy, I see one line in your reply that has caused me to write you back, " he

did not love you enough " . For months in the back of my mind I always believed

did not love me enough. It was never anything specific, it was just always

there.....Now I know, I suppose I should be thankful....Thank you for your kind

words.

nne

Betsy Jack <itsbetsy@...> wrote:

nne...I see quite a few people have reached out to you on this

one. I'm glad to see that. I sure hate that you are having to

experience this. A few folks on here have had to deal with loosing

relationships over the stress of illness. It's a rotten way to find

out that the relationship was not as strong as you had hopec. I'm 45

and have been divorced for 6 years now. My marriage was not strong

enough to handle a special needs child or my poor health. But what

I've come to realize over the years is that as complicated as it

is....it's really very simple in the end. He did not love me enough.

That's what it all comes down to and everyone is going to tell you

the same thing (because it's true...mundane but true) " at least you

found out now " . It's hard. I got through times when I view myself

as " not good date material " or " a hard sell " . It would be difficult

for someone to deal with a special need kid, let alone my health

issues. But I remind myself of a few things when I get this way....1.

The right love rises above it all...the right love is proud of how we

sickies cope and holds us when we don't because we do that for

THEM...that's what you do for each other when you are in the right

kind of love. 2. 99% of all relationships fail. Stinks but most of us

don't hit the mark the first time. That's what dating is for. It's

the weeding out process. You just did some weeding. He had no place

in your garden. 3. Ian said it well....disease and other problems we

got through in life give us depth. They make us more interesting and

better able to cope with whatever comes along....better able to care

for those we love. What we all want and hope for is someone who will

see that in us. I hope you find it. SHeesh...I hope I find it. But in

the meantime, you have us. (that did not help much did it? lol).

Thinking about you... -Betz

---------------------------------

Everyone is raving about the all-new .

November 4, 2006

Hi, single men? hmm, Since I have not ever posted i really have no idea what men

are single on this board or not. Any signle guys out there interested in a FLA

woman with PA?

pretzelb3@... wrote: julienne , he was a weak person and wouldn't

be there for you in the long

ren. You are a strong women and hang on . There are other men out there . there

are a lot of single men on this board . maybe you'll find one here . thinking

of you. i feel bad that this happened to you . .cathy from ma

November 5, 2006

i an only suggest that you go to a arthritis type group in your area . You

are sure to meet someone . Perhaps someone with the same issues you are dealing

with . Maybe not psoriatic arthritis but any type arthritis . there are

lots of lonely peolple in the world and would be glad to spend some time with

you lovely gals cathy from ma

November 5, 2006

nne,

Sorry, I am not a single man. However, I just wanted to know where you were

in Florida? We live in County,FL. or otherwise known as the Treasure

Coast right above Palm Beach County. We live where Hurricanes Frances and

Jeanne made landfall two years ago. I know you will find a good guy. They are

out there.

nne Godwin <magnoliagirly@...> wrote:

Hi, single men? hmm, Since I have not ever posted i really have no

idea what men are single on this board or not. Any signle guys out there

interested in a FLA woman with PA?

November 5, 2006

Jayson, I have started seeing someone now who really accepts me exactly how I

am...pain, limiations, and all. Things can get better. May you find

unconditional love.

Its sad that your wife could not see the long term love and be there for you I

am truly sorry... It happens a lot I see... Thank goodness Barb is here for me

but then she too has disabilities so I think we both are here for each other...

I am glad you are seeing a new person that truly accepts you... Its amazing how

you find out thou, when you need them the most... Poof, not there, gone in a

flash...

Love always

Shaun and Barb

November 5, 2006

Hi, Tampa. No " real " hurricanes yet but they like to go around us every once in

a while. I have decided not to be upset any longer about my " loss " because in

reality it is his loss and my gain. I have gained untold numbers of years I

would have wasted on him.....

nne

Hockey <juliejahockey@...> wrote:

nne,

Sorry, I am not a single man. However, I just wanted to know where you were in

Florida? We live in County,FL. or otherwise known as the Treasure Coast

right above Palm Beach County. We live where Hurricanes Frances and Jeanne made

landfall two years ago. I know you will find a good guy. They are out there.

November 5, 2006

>

> Hi, single men? hmm, Since I have not ever posted i really have no

>idea what men are single on this board or not. Any signle guys out

>there interested in a FLA woman with PA?

>

Hi Magnoliagirl..Sorry to hear about your situation. I havent posted

here in years.. but occasionally check out the threads from time to

time.

I sent ya an email.

November 5, 2006

Hi nne,

My heart really goes out to you! I know a few single guys- but, I'm

all the way in Seattle. How old are you? Can you decribe yourself? I

know it sounds corny but, if I know more maybe I could give you some

ideas? Im married (happily). This is my second marriage. My first

marriage was very young. I was 21 and just out of Nursing school. I

married a guy going thru med. school- and did the whole painful

process with him. By the time he was in private practice (we dated

1yr - married 7)I was bored- and moved on. I left a great wonderful

guy b/c I was bored.I really kicked myself for that one.

BUT... I have always had a lot of good luck in that department. After

dating around 8 months I met another wonderful guy and within 11 weeks

I was married again. Now, 7 years and 2 kids later. Anyway, some

ideas...... Church maybe? I go to a great church here- my husband and

I have grown spiritually together. Our church has a congregation of

3,000. They have so many groups- and groups for singles! What about

the web chat/love lines? Yeah, I know it can be dangerous out there-

but, after my first divorce I went back home- the city was so small- I

either knew everyone- or knew of them. I worked late nights nursing

and I was too old to go to bars. So, I put an Ad on America Online (at

the time it was still hot). I had around 50-60 replies a day to my Ad.

I had to sift through a lot of people- and I wouldn't open their files

to see what they looked like for fear of getting a virus. That's where

my good luck and instincts came in to place. I met a hand full of

REALLY nice people- including my now husband. It is possible-

I think you going thru this group was really cool- and smart. You'll

have no problem finding someone to appreciate and love you!

>

November 5, 2006

nne girl...I do believe that you can meet nice people online. We

all know people...couples who have met online who are doing great.

Heck, we are all online friends in this group. I think Nurse on the Run

(I love that name) is giving you some good advise. The larger churches

do have some great groups too but I can't help but think that you might

be missing out on getting to know someone who is really

special...someone who needs your love and attention. Her name is

nne. Get to know her. Dress for her for awhile. You know...where

clothes that YOU love and scents that YOU love and a comfy robe and big

ugly fuzzy house slippers. Eat ice cream (or Hannaford's Pink

Grapefruit Sorbet) out of the carton. Buy some exotic fruits and

gourmet cheeses and savor them without having to hear some guy

ask " Where are the beer nuts and pretzels??? " . Take a break from men

and treat yourself right. Buy yourself flowers. I used to do that when

I had money. lol. I decided to treat myself special. It felt good. Try

it. If you are happy without a man, you will be much more attractive to

the right man. Treat yourself like the queen you are! -Betz>

November 6, 2006

I am happly married now for 28 years this past June. It really

helps when ou marry your best friend.

>

> Glenn, Tell me, after hearing that, I am sure you are married and

making someone a happy wife...if not? let me know.

> nne

>

November 6, 2006

Sing it Sister!!!! Amen I truly believe and have done exactly what you have

suggested.... it wasn't long after that I met my husband =)

On 11/5/06, Betsy Jack <itsbetsy@...> wrote:

>

> nne girl...I do believe that you can meet nice people online. We

> all know people...couples who have met online who are doing great.

> Heck, we are all online friends in this group. I think Nurse on the Run

> (I love that name) is giving you some good advise. The larger churches

> do have some great groups too but I can't help but think that you might

> be missing out on getting to know someone who is really

> special...someone who needs your love and attention. Her name is

> nne. Get to know her. Dress for her for awhile. You know...where

> clothes that YOU love and scents that YOU love and a comfy robe and big

> ugly fuzzy house slippers. Eat ice cream (or Hannaford's Pink

> Grapefruit Sorbet) out of the carton. Buy some exotic fruits and

> gourmet cheeses and savor them without having to hear some guy

> ask " Where are the beer nuts and pretzels??? " . Take a break from men

> and treat yourself right. Buy yourself flowers. I used to do that when

> I had money. lol. I decided to treat myself special. It felt good. Try

> it. If you are happy without a man, you will be much more attractive to

> the right man. Treat yourself like the queen you are! -Betz>

>

November 6, 2006

My advice is to find what you need to be happy with yourself. Look

for those things that allow you to grow as an individual. Now that

you are single, you have an excellent opportunity to do " personal

work " , whereby you can look deeply inside and decide what you want to

keep about yourself and how you would like to grow (given your

limitations - and everyone has limitations). When you set yourself on

your own path, finding true joy in (and feeling confident about what)

you are doing, then you will have a rewarding life no matter who comes

along. If your life is rewarding, you will exude this, and you will

attract many new friends and possible suitors. (Unless, of course you

want to be a hermit who studies existentialism - which doesn't sound

like you anyway.)

Don't ever settle for anyone you think you want to change. And, don't

settle for anyone who is a worry; you know, like the last guy with

those little whispers that were screaming at you from within your head

saying/asking, " He may be good looking, but this guy doesn't really

love me and I know it. Why am I holding on? " Many men are " players "

through much of their 20s. Society and testosterone seems to make

them tend to be that way. It isn't right, and there are many who don't

live that way. After they have had a few hard knocks for having their

slutty behaviours, they often calm down, settle down. Some men (and

women) never grow up - they are the selfish/narcisistic ones who think

that the world is always about them.

I couldn't take it anymore, I had to put in my two cents. Best

wishes, Brent

November 7, 2006

Brent, He was definitely a selfish person and I feel much better after getting

so much support from everyone here at the group...I am forging on, perhaps there

is someone for me, maybe there is not. One thing I have realized is that i do

need to love myself first, and that is going to take some time.

julienne

skrewtz <brentherman@...> wrote: