Guest guest Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Betsy, I see one line in your reply that has caused me to write you back, " he did not love you enough " . For months in the back of my mind I always believed did not love me enough. It was never anything specific, it was just always there.....Now I know, I suppose I should be thankful....Thank you for your kind words. nne Betsy Jack <itsbetsy@...> wrote: nne...I see quite a few people have reached out to you on this one. I'm glad to see that. I sure hate that you are having to experience this. A few folks on here have had to deal with loosing relationships over the stress of illness. It's a rotten way to find out that the relationship was not as strong as you had hopec. I'm 45 and have been divorced for 6 years now. My marriage was not strong enough to handle a special needs child or my poor health. But what I've come to realize over the years is that as complicated as it is....it's really very simple in the end. He did not love me enough. That's what it all comes down to and everyone is going to tell you the same thing (because it's true...mundane but true) " at least you found out now " . It's hard. I got through times when I view myself as " not good date material " or " a hard sell " . It would be difficult for someone to deal with a special need kid, let alone my health issues. But I remind myself of a few things when I get this way....1. The right love rises above it all...the right love is proud of how we sickies cope and holds us when we don't because we do that for THEM...that's what you do for each other when you are in the right kind of love. 2. 99% of all relationships fail. Stinks but most of us don't hit the mark the first time. That's what dating is for. It's the weeding out process. You just did some weeding. He had no place in your garden. 3. Ian said it well....disease and other problems we got through in life give us depth. They make us more interesting and better able to cope with whatever comes along....better able to care for those we love. What we all want and hope for is someone who will see that in us. I hope you find it. SHeesh...I hope I find it. But in the meantime, you have us. (that did not help much did it? lol). Thinking about you... -Betz --------------------------------- Everyone is raving about the all-new . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2006 Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Hi, single men? hmm, Since I have not ever posted i really have no idea what men are single on this board or not. Any signle guys out there interested in a FLA woman with PA? pretzelb3@... wrote: julienne , he was a weak person and wouldn't be there for you in the long ren. You are a strong women and hang on . There are other men out there . there are a lot of single men on this board . maybe you'll find one here . thinking of you. i feel bad that this happened to you . .cathy from ma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 i an only suggest that you go to a arthritis type group in your area . You are sure to meet someone . Perhaps someone with the same issues you are dealing with . Maybe not psoriatic arthritis but any type arthritis . there are lots of lonely peolple in the world and would be glad to spend some time with you lovely gals cathy from ma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 nne, Sorry, I am not a single man. However, I just wanted to know where you were in Florida? We live in County,FL. or otherwise known as the Treasure Coast right above Palm Beach County. We live where Hurricanes Frances and Jeanne made landfall two years ago. I know you will find a good guy. They are out there. nne Godwin <magnoliagirly@...> wrote: Hi, single men? hmm, Since I have not ever posted i really have no idea what men are single on this board or not. Any signle guys out there interested in a FLA woman with PA? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 Jayson, I have started seeing someone now who really accepts me exactly how I am...pain, limiations, and all. Things can get better. May you find unconditional love. Its sad that your wife could not see the long term love and be there for you I am truly sorry... It happens a lot I see... Thank goodness Barb is here for me but then she too has disabilities so I think we both are here for each other... I am glad you are seeing a new person that truly accepts you... Its amazing how you find out thou, when you need them the most... Poof, not there, gone in a flash... Love always Shaun and Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 Hi, Tampa. No " real " hurricanes yet but they like to go around us every once in a while. I have decided not to be upset any longer about my " loss " because in reality it is his loss and my gain. I have gained untold numbers of years I would have wasted on him..... nne Hockey <juliejahockey@...> wrote: nne, Sorry, I am not a single man. However, I just wanted to know where you were in Florida? We live in County,FL. or otherwise known as the Treasure Coast right above Palm Beach County. We live where Hurricanes Frances and Jeanne made landfall two years ago. I know you will find a good guy. They are out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 > > > Hi, single men? hmm, Since I have not ever posted i really have no >idea what men are single on this board or not. Any signle guys out >there interested in a FLA woman with PA? > Hi Magnoliagirl..Sorry to hear about your situation. I havent posted here in years.. but occasionally check out the threads from time to time. I sent ya an email. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 Hi nne, My heart really goes out to you! I know a few single guys- but, I'm all the way in Seattle. How old are you? Can you decribe yourself? I know it sounds corny but, if I know more maybe I could give you some ideas? Im married (happily). This is my second marriage. My first marriage was very young. I was 21 and just out of Nursing school. I married a guy going thru med. school- and did the whole painful process with him. By the time he was in private practice (we dated 1yr - married 7)I was bored- and moved on. I left a great wonderful guy b/c I was bored.I really kicked myself for that one. BUT... I have always had a lot of good luck in that department. After dating around 8 months I met another wonderful guy and within 11 weeks I was married again. Now, 7 years and 2 kids later. Anyway, some ideas...... Church maybe? I go to a great church here- my husband and I have grown spiritually together. Our church has a congregation of 3,000. They have so many groups- and groups for singles! What about the web chat/love lines? Yeah, I know it can be dangerous out there- but, after my first divorce I went back home- the city was so small- I either knew everyone- or knew of them. I worked late nights nursing and I was too old to go to bars. So, I put an Ad on America Online (at the time it was still hot). I had around 50-60 replies a day to my Ad. I had to sift through a lot of people- and I wouldn't open their files to see what they looked like for fear of getting a virus. That's where my good luck and instincts came in to place. I met a hand full of REALLY nice people- including my now husband. It is possible- I think you going thru this group was really cool- and smart. You'll have no problem finding someone to appreciate and love you! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2006 Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 nne girl...I do believe that you can meet nice people online. We all know people...couples who have met online who are doing great. Heck, we are all online friends in this group. I think Nurse on the Run (I love that name) is giving you some good advise. The larger churches do have some great groups too but I can't help but think that you might be missing out on getting to know someone who is really special...someone who needs your love and attention. Her name is nne. Get to know her. Dress for her for awhile. You know...where clothes that YOU love and scents that YOU love and a comfy robe and big ugly fuzzy house slippers. Eat ice cream (or Hannaford's Pink Grapefruit Sorbet) out of the carton. Buy some exotic fruits and gourmet cheeses and savor them without having to hear some guy ask " Where are the beer nuts and pretzels??? " . Take a break from men and treat yourself right. Buy yourself flowers. I used to do that when I had money. lol. I decided to treat myself special. It felt good. Try it. If you are happy without a man, you will be much more attractive to the right man. Treat yourself like the queen you are! -Betz> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 I am happly married now for 28 years this past June. It really helps when ou marry your best friend. > > Glenn, Tell me, after hearing that, I am sure you are married and making someone a happy wife...if not? let me know. > nne > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Sing it Sister!!!! Amen I truly believe and have done exactly what you have suggested.... it wasn't long after that I met my husband =) On 11/5/06, Betsy Jack <itsbetsy@...> wrote: > > nne girl...I do believe that you can meet nice people online. We > all know people...couples who have met online who are doing great. > Heck, we are all online friends in this group. I think Nurse on the Run > (I love that name) is giving you some good advise. The larger churches > do have some great groups too but I can't help but think that you might > be missing out on getting to know someone who is really > special...someone who needs your love and attention. Her name is > nne. Get to know her. Dress for her for awhile. You know...where > clothes that YOU love and scents that YOU love and a comfy robe and big > ugly fuzzy house slippers. Eat ice cream (or Hannaford's Pink > Grapefruit Sorbet) out of the carton. Buy some exotic fruits and > gourmet cheeses and savor them without having to hear some guy > ask " Where are the beer nuts and pretzels??? " . Take a break from men > and treat yourself right. Buy yourself flowers. I used to do that when > I had money. lol. I decided to treat myself special. It felt good. Try > it. If you are happy without a man, you will be much more attractive to > the right man. Treat yourself like the queen you are! -Betz> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 My advice is to find what you need to be happy with yourself. Look for those things that allow you to grow as an individual. Now that you are single, you have an excellent opportunity to do " personal work " , whereby you can look deeply inside and decide what you want to keep about yourself and how you would like to grow (given your limitations - and everyone has limitations). When you set yourself on your own path, finding true joy in (and feeling confident about what) you are doing, then you will have a rewarding life no matter who comes along. If your life is rewarding, you will exude this, and you will attract many new friends and possible suitors. (Unless, of course you want to be a hermit who studies existentialism - which doesn't sound like you anyway.) Don't ever settle for anyone you think you want to change. And, don't settle for anyone who is a worry; you know, like the last guy with those little whispers that were screaming at you from within your head saying/asking, " He may be good looking, but this guy doesn't really love me and I know it. Why am I holding on? " Many men are " players " through much of their 20s. Society and testosterone seems to make them tend to be that way. It isn't right, and there are many who don't live that way. After they have had a few hard knocks for having their slutty behaviours, they often calm down, settle down. Some men (and women) never grow up - they are the selfish/narcisistic ones who think that the world is always about them. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to put in my two cents. Best wishes, Brent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Brent, He was definitely a selfish person and I feel much better after getting so much support from everyone here at the group...I am forging on, perhaps there is someone for me, maybe there is not. One thing I have realized is that i do need to love myself first, and that is going to take some time. julienne skrewtz <brentherman@...> wrote: My advice is to find what you need to be happy with yourself. Look for those things that allow you to grow as an individual. Now that you are single, you have an excellent opportunity to do " personal work " , whereby you can look deeply inside and decide what you want to keep about yourself and how you would like to grow (given your limitations - and everyone has limitations). When you set yourself on your own path, finding true joy in (and feeling confident about what) you are doing, then you will have a rewarding life no matter who comes along. If your life is rewarding, you will exude this, and you will attract many new friends and possible suitors. (Unless, of course you want to be a hermit who studies existentialism - which doesn't sound like you anyway.) Don't ever settle for anyone you think you want to change. And, don't settle for anyone who is a worry; you know, like the last guy with those little whispers that were screaming at you from within your head saying/asking, " He may be good looking, but this guy doesn't really love me and I know it. Why am I holding on? " Many men are " players " through much of their 20s. Society and testosterone seems to make them tend to be that way. It isn't right, and there are many who don't live that way. After they have had a few hard knocks for having their slutty behaviours, they often calm down, settle down. Some men (and women) never grow up - they are the selfish/narcisistic ones who think that the world is always about them. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to put in my two cents. Best wishes, Brent --------------------------------- Sponsored Link Talk more and pay less. Vonage can save you up to $300 a year on your phone bill. Sign up now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 If you are happy without a man, you will be much more attractive to > the right man. Treat yourself like the queen you are! -Betz> > I totally love what you said BETZ!!! This is such great advice that I am going to pass it along to a friend that I work with if I may, that is in a simular situation. Thank you for sharing this and I know that many will benifit from it. I am telling you BETZ this group would not know what to do with the advice that you and so many others give. Have a great day Blessings Tammy W. Mel <celticangyl@...> wrote: Sing it Sister!!!! Amen I truly believe and have done exactly what you have suggested.... it wasn't long after that I met my husband =) On 11/5/06, Betsy Jack <itsbetsy@...> wrote: > > nne girl...I do believe that you can meet nice people online. We > all know people...couples who have met online who are doing great. > Heck, we are all online friends in this group. I think Nurse on the Run > (I love that name) is giving you some good advise. The larger churches > do have some great groups too but I can't help but think that you might > be missing out on getting to know someone who is really > special...someone who needs your love and attention. Her name is > nne. Get to know her. Dress for her for awhile. You know...where > clothes that YOU love and scents that YOU love and a comfy robe and big > ugly fuzzy house slippers. Eat ice cream (or Hannaford's Pink > Grapefruit Sorbet) out of the carton. Buy some exotic fruits and > gourmet cheeses and savor them without having to hear some guy > ask " Where are the beer nuts and pretzels??? " . Take a break from men > and treat yourself right. Buy yourself flowers. I used to do that when > I had money. lol. I decided to treat myself special. It felt good. Try > it. If you are happy without a man, you will be much more attractive to > the right man. Treat yourself like the queen you are! -Betz> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2006 Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 Tammy said: I am telling you BETZ this group would not know what to do with the advice that you and so many others give. Betz said: Yeah well the real trick is to take your own advise sometimes (wink). Thanks for your vote of support Tammy. -Love Betz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2006 Report Share Posted November 9, 2006 Hi nne, It's great to hear from you but I am just so sorry that this guy, is it? Hurt you so much. Remember though, he is the one with the real problem, not you. If he can be so shallow, I guess and hope that, although he hurt you, you may now be able to see it as a lucky escape. ......................and from where I stand there is nothing dull about you. The funny thing about this group is that, although it is only typed words from each other that we are seeing, we are still able to feel the warmth, the concern, the charisma, the personalities of each other through those words. Though your post I feel that you were sad but won't be forever. You dumped him so your self esteem may have been damaged but not beyond repair. You WILL be ok nne. It's good that you felt able to reach out to the group and having just read through the rest of your posts I see that some of the people must have responded to you. I love what you said about it being his loss not yours. Exactly right! lol Hang on in. We are here for you too. Take care, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2006 Report Share Posted November 9, 2006 I would go for the guy who gives the best back massage!!!!!!!!!!! Totally 100% not kidding you ! And I will. " starsgirlsally " <starsgirlsally@...> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2006 Report Share Posted November 9, 2006 Hi, 34 technically, I feel 84....Physically I am slim, lond blonde hair, green eyes, Biology degree from Uof FLorida...But, Seattle is a long way and I figure if I cannot keep one locally I sure as hell cannot keep one interested in Seattle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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