school

[Guest guest]

Bre (15) is fine at school as a matter of fact. She lets her hair down

at home though. She still has ocd at school, just mental obsessions

though and she does mental rituals if needed for that. So in a sense

she does " control " ocd at times or is it she doesn't let ocd control

her?

Sandy

>

> have her start, especially if he is fine at school. He may be

letting

> it all out at home where he feels safe. I know my daughter was able

to

> tell her therapist things she couldn't tell me. Now she confesses

> everything to me! Go figure. Anyway welcome

>

>

> As I read this it reminded me of the school psychologist who said As

> far I know she can't control OCD " - trying to tell me dd didn't have

it

> - just thought of that when I read that He's fine at school part

above

> - Do all of yours seem " fine " in school too - just curious

>

[Guest guest]

doesn't that affect her ability to concentrate??? - my dd is so bright

but it's making more sense now that her work and work habits aren't

what I'd expect - must be torture at school - or maybe better because

the mind is busier??? personally I think she seems so much less

stressed because she's home and free this summer??? so confusing!

Eileen

Quoting Sandy <melbiscuit5@...>:

> Bre (15) is fine at school as a matter of fact. She lets her hair down

> at home though. She still has ocd at school, just mental obsessions

> though and she does mental rituals if needed for that. So in a sense

> she does " control " ocd at times or is it she doesn't let ocd control

> her?

> Sandy

>

>

>

>

>>

>> have her start, especially if he is fine at school. He may be

> letting

>> it all out at home where he feels safe. I know my daughter was able

> to

>> tell her therapist things she couldn't tell me. Now she confesses

>> everything to me! Go figure. Anyway welcome

>>

>>

>> As I read this it reminded me of the school psychologist who said As

>> far I know she can't control OCD " - trying to tell me dd didn't have

> it

>> - just thought of that when I read that He's fine at school part

> above

>> - Do all of yours seem " fine " in school too - just curious

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> have her start, especially if he is fine at school. He may be

letting

> it all out at home where he feels safe. I know my daughter was able

to

> tell her therapist things she couldn't tell me. Now she confesses

> everything to me! Go figure. Anyway welcome

>

>

> As I read this it reminded me of the school psychologist who said As

> far I know she can't control OCD " - trying to tell me dd didn't have

it

> - just thought of that when I read that He's fine at school part

above

> - Do all of yours seem " fine " in school too - just curious

>

[Guest guest]

My dd is just 5, will be going to K in the fall, but has been in preschool part

time and has done various other classes/lessons. If it is something short term,

I dont even tell them her issues. IF they become a problem, I then let them

know. It usually isnt a problem so short term. I did tell her preschool

teacher, as it was a problem with dressing to go outside in the winter (we live

in MN). Not only does everything have to feel " perfect " , she was having to put

her clothes on and take them off and put them back on again, over and over. The

teacher became very frustrated with her, then we had a long talk and the teacher

was more understanding. I had warned her ahead of time, but the teacher had no

education or experience with OCD or SID, so really didnt know what to expect

until it happened. For the most part, with Abby, her OCD is wanting

reassurance, and it is typically from me, or another trusted adult, so her

teachers never really saw it. Or her germ part you really wouldnt notice if you

werent aware - it would just look like she washes hands a lot, or doesnt want to

play with certain things. I could watch her in a different setting and see it,

though. Once she was taking a dance class and they would run one at a time and

all wait at the wall at the other end. On one part of the wall, there was an

outlet with out the child saftey things in it. She would not stand near it and

would watch the other kids to be sure they didnt touch it. On another part of

the wall, a piece of tile was off, exposing part of the wall. Same thing, she

wouldnt stand there, and would watch the other kids to not touch it. If they

were near either one, she would gently move them down the wall. I highly doubt

anyone but me even saw those things. It will be interesting to see what happens

in K.

Sharon

school

have her start, especially if he is fine at school. He may be letting

it all out at home where he feels safe. I know my daughter was able to

tell her therapist things she couldn't tell me. Now she confesses

everything to me! Go figure. Anyway welcome

As I read this it reminded me of the school psychologist who said As

far I know she can't control OCD " - trying to tell me dd didn't have it

- just thought of that when I read that He's fine at school part above

- Do all of yours seem " fine " in school too - just curious

[Guest guest]

I do find that when Abby is busy, her OCD is better. Until we hit the " too

busy " point and she goes over the edge and things get worse. I dont know where

her " edge " is yet, to make sure she doesnt go over it!

Sharon

Re: Re: school

doesn't that affect her ability to concentrate??? - my dd is so bright

but it's making more sense now that her work and work habits aren't

what I'd expect - must be torture at school - or maybe better because

the mind is busier??? personally I think she seems so much less

stressed because she's home and free this summer??? so confusing!

Eileen

Quoting Sandy <melbiscuit5@...>:

> Bre (15) is fine at school as a matter of fact. She lets her hair down

> at home though. She still has ocd at school, just mental obsessions

> though and she does mental rituals if needed for that. So in a sense

> she does " control " ocd at times or is it she doesn't let ocd control

> her?

> Sandy

>

>

>

>

>>

>> have her start, especially if he is fine at school. He may be

> letting

>> it all out at home where he feels safe. I know my daughter was able

> to

>> tell her therapist things she couldn't tell me. Now she confesses

>> everything to me! Go figure. Anyway welcome

>>

>>

>> As I read this it reminded me of the school psychologist who said As

>> far I know she can't control OCD " - trying to tell me dd didn't have

> it

>> - just thought of that when I read that He's fine at school part

> above

>> - Do all of yours seem " fine " in school too - just curious

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, that is JUST how my dd was. She is MUCH better since having therapy, but

still does some of the same things. My mom is in the hospital right now. I

didnt tell Abby at first, didnt want her to worry. Now she will be there at

least a week and we have to take care of her cat. I felt I had to tell Abby.

She was ok with it, so far. We went to visit her last night and I could see

Abby making a point to NOT touch my mom or her bed, or any of the things she may

have touched. Surprisingly, Abby did NOT want to wash her hands when we left

the room! She did very well. We will see if it effects her today, though.

Sharon

Re: school

>

> have her start, especially if he is fine at school. He may be

letting

> it all out at home where he feels safe. I know my daughter was able

to

> tell her therapist things she couldn't tell me. Now she confesses

> everything to me! Go figure. Anyway welcome

>

>

> As I read this it reminded me of the school psychologist who said As

> far I know she can't control OCD " - trying to tell me dd didn't have

it

> - just thought of that when I read that He's fine at school part

above

> - Do all of yours seem " fine " in school too - just curious

>

[Guest guest]

What is a DS?

" In order to move forward...

you need to know where you are going. " (Lori Rilat)

---------------------------------

Stay in the know. Pulse on the new .com. Check it out.

[Guest guest]

I think it is a nintendo hand held game system - Nintendo DS?

>

> What is a DS?

>

>

> " In order to move forward...

> you need to know where you are going. " (Lori Rilat)

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Stay in the know. Pulse on the new .com. Check it out.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think that if it'll work, do it! A bit later a goal can be set up

to try to stay longer in class, etc. Right now I'd just want the

goal of staying *at* school and finding something that helps that.

Let us know what happens!

>

> He everyone. My son started school yesterday. He only made it a

> couple of hours. They were discussing why good marks are

important

> for college (he's only in gr. 8). He already had the worry that

he

> won't be able to hold a job when he grows up because of ocd. Now

> he's also worried that he won't be able to handle college and then

> won't get a good job. He had to call home from school almost

every

> day for the last half of last year for me to pick him up. He just

>

[Guest guest]

Dear son?

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Lori Rilat

Sent: Friday, September 01, 2006 11:40 AM

Subject: Re: school

What is a DS?

" In order to move forward...

you need to know where you are going. " (Lori Rilat)

---------------------------------

Stay in the know. Pulse on the new .com. Check it out.

[Guest guest]

I know this probably sounds mean, but can you on purpose be too busy to pick

him up and see what happens. Or when he calls tell him you can't be there

for 2 hours and then come then. Do that for awhile and then up it a little

later the next week? I know that is so hard, as I am home right now with my

son afraid of weather. I tried this tactic with my son two days ago and it

did not work, after 3 hours of putting him off that I couldn't get there he

had a total melt down and I came immediately.

I like you am just praying for some meds to kick in. We have just weaned off

Zoloft and getting ready to start a new one.

Good luck

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of rockydazzler1

Sent: Friday, September 01, 2006 11:10 AM

Subject: school

He everyone. My son started school yesterday. He only made it a

couple of hours. They were discussing why good marks are important

for college (he's only in gr. 8). He already had the worry that he

won't be able to hold a job when he grows up because of ocd. Now

he's also worried that he won't be able to handle college and then

won't get a good job. He had to call home from school almost every

day for the last half of last year for me to pick him up. He just

switched meds from cipralex to zoloft a couple wks ago and he's

already up to 200mgs a day with no side effects so hopefully this

will be the med that works for him. I've been trying to come up

with a way to keep him at school all day. He was having really bad

anxiety attacks at bedtime because he said that the compulsions he

had to do were like torture and didn't want to go through it all.

We started letting him play his DS for 10 min after he gets into bed

and before he does him compulsions. This helped him skip the hour

long anxiety attack but we still do all the compulsions. It seems

to be a major relief for us all anyway. I was thinking that when

his anxiety is so bad at school that he needs to call home, that

instead they could let him go to the health room and play his DS for

the rest of the period. He would then have something to get his

mind off the anxiety and have a fresh start for the next class.

This would perhaps have him only miss 20 min. of class instead of

the 2-3 hrs. that he misses when the comes home. I'm not sure if

this would be a good thing to start or not. I'm not sure what the

school would think of that either. I just really want him to be at

school as much as possible. Any opinions or experience would be

apprieciated.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Tough one! I guess you've tried the, " well, does everybody else go

up and ask her while she's lecturing? " question since he wants to be

like everyone else.

I remember in...7th grade, I think, kept asking the same

teacher every day if they could have class outside. She had taken

them outside one nice day. ('s twin who was in the same

class) told me asked her every day and it was annoying the

teacher, she knew what he was going to ask when he'd raise his hand.

I laid down the law, " do NOT ask!! you're annoying the teacher,

she'll tell you.... " Well, he still asked, per . I got on him

again. SIGH! Don't know how long it kept up but at some point he

quit asking. I never could decide if it was an OCD thing or the

stubborn Aspergers part of him that had him asking daily; don't know

if anxiety played a part. But is one who wants the teachers

to like him so it surprised me he'd get on one's nerves when bluntly

told that's what he was doing.

Could you play on your son's sympathy maybe? If he doesn't use the

aide, then he might lose her, something like that.

What type questions are they? I imagine they're on what she's

lecturing about. Can he work on staying in his seat, just raising

his hand and she'll ask him? Or maybe he can write his questions

down to ask her after she's through. Though I guess he wants the

answers *now*.... SIGH! Maybe if she can give him some special time

to sit and answer questions?

Well, no help and quick thoughts. I know he's in a hard spot right

now just trying to stay in school the half day.

>

> Hi. Just a little update on my son. He's struggled with staying a

> school due to anxiety attacks for almost a year now. In Sept. the

> school allowed him to start taking breaks when his anxiety got to

> bad. He would go play vidieo games. That worked great for a short

> time and then he started coming home again. Now he's been cut to a

> half day as long as he'll stay for the half day. It has him in

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the reply. I was scared of sounding mean before but

this morning I did tell him that kids WILL think he's different if he

keeps interupting the class. The questions have to do with him

understanding everything said completely. Sometimes I know, if he'd

just keep listening, he'd then have his question answered without

having to ask. Instead he starts to panic and doesn't listen

anymore.

My husband did tell him that by not allowing the aide to help that

he's taking her job from her. He did listen a little to that. I wish

I could tell them how hard to push him with out causing him an anxiety

attack. It's just something I can tell by watching him but can't

really explain to other people. I guess they'll keep me posted on how

it's going.

Thanks again for the reply.

[Guest guest]

,

Aomething else I found out did, and this in high school, was

to ask questions. Apparently LOTS of questions, LOL. The kind

where the other kids are probably rolling their eyes, wishing he

would shut up/stop asking so the teacher could get on with the

class/lecture. But I asked some teachers and they said he always

asked pertinent questions. What I remember is that when I went

back to college when twins were little that there was a young man in

a class (and yes we knew there was *something* about him...) that

kept asking & asking questions, and I didn't think they were all

relevant ( " what if... " ) and was wishing he'd quit it too (you could

tell the teacher did too). SIGH! That's what I think of when I

would picture in class. I just told him a bit about the guy

I recall and to make sure he wasn't holding up class with too many

questions, that the teachers did say they were good questions

though.

Personally I am an " interrupter " and I know it. Now in class I

could jot down a note to ask about later, that's fine. But

elsewhere (like a doctor's office) if I don't ask *then* I will

totally forget my question later, usually because I'm listening to

the rest of what the person is saying. (I must have REALLY short-

term memory, LOL) I used to try to remember by casually counting

with my fingers for each question I had while they were talking

(hold out 1 finger, 2,3) to remind me to ask when the speaker would

be done but generally only remembered the last question to ask, if

that, by the time they were done. And I do apologize for

interruptions.

>

> Thanks for the reply. I was scared of sounding mean before

but

> this morning I did tell him that kids WILL think he's different if

he

> keeps interupting the class. The questions have to do with him

> understanding everything said completely. Sometimes I know, if

he'd

> just keep listening, he'd then have his question answered without

[Guest guest]

We are just starting to get over this kind of situation with my son.

He is not yet back in school a full day, but he's there for more than

half the day. He had panic attacks and would cry to go home.

We started by explaining to him that I would under no circumstances

come to get him unless he was truly sick (it was hard to say that to

a little boy with big brown eyes). The school personnel and I agreed

that he would stay at school for the contracted amount of time no

matter what - even if he wasn't being educated at the time (we

started with an hour and graduated to another half hour each week.

If he cried, he went to his safe place. We also told him that he

would not be allowed to be disruptive and we put a desk outside the

classroom. He spent many a time in the hallway with his aide.

Sometimes he needed an office to sit in. Now, he barely uses it. He

is on a low dose of prozac and we are using exposure therapy to

increase his tolerance for school. SO far, so good. Although he has

a high IQ, he does have learning disabilities and now has an IEP. I

am hoping that all of these interventions have led the way for my son

to be able to stabilize and not hit rock bottom again. I think the

only option then would be to put him into a different school, because

there is not much left for the school to offer at this point.

I wish you well. Don't give up, my son has gone through since

kindergarten (now in 2nd grade). I think he is the healthiest I have

seen him. I am also more confident about how I handle him too.

Bonnie

>

> Hi. Just a little update on my son. He's struggled with staying a

> school due to anxiety attacks for almost a year now. In Sept. the

> school allowed him to start taking breaks when his anxiety got to

> bad. He would go play vidieo games. That worked great for a short

> time and then he started coming home again. Now he's been cut to a

> half day as long as he'll stay for the half day. It has him in

most

> of his main core subject classes and he's dropped all the other

> subject. He's in grade 8. This has been working well for a couple

> weeks now. Before he was missing most of the day. Now we have

> another problem. The school phoned and said that he is not

allowing

> his aide to help him at all. He really likes his aide but just

> really wants to be like everyone else. He won't even allow her to

> answer his questions. He goes to the teacher every time. It

> doesn't matter if the teacher is doing a lecture to the whole

> class. He'll go up to the teacher infront of the whole class,

> interupt, and insist on the teacher answering him right away. I

> tried talking to him and he says that he can't wait because if he

> does his anxiety will get too bad and then he'll have to come

home.

> Witch, by the way, he can't hardly do any school work at home. The

> school has done everything to help us. I just don't even know what

> to tell them on how to handle this. Any advice would be

> appreciated.

>

[Guest guest]

When we pulled out of school, we got a letter from the psyc. team - have

you got a letter from the doctor saying he can not go to school at the moment.

Sorry I can not offer much more advice. Good luck

Jackie (New Zealand)

School

My 14 year old son has not been in school for a month, due to med

changes and increased anxiety, I talked w/his teachers and they were

very understanding, now the principal is telling me he must be in

school no matter what, i tried to explain, but he would not listen,

any advice?

[Guest guest]

How hard is it to get homeschooler status in your state? You could do that until

he is ready to return.

J

School

My 14 year old son has not been in school for a month, due to med

changes and increased anxiety, I talked w/his teachers and they were

very understanding, now the principal is telling me he must be in

school no matter what, i tried to explain, but he would not listen,

any advice?

[Guest guest]

Have you given the school a written note from his doctor regarding the

anxiety and medication changes and staying home?

Is he doing any schoolwork at home?

>

> My 14 year old son has not been in school for a month, due to med

> changes and increased anxiety, I talked w/his teachers and they were

> very understanding, now the principal is telling me he must be in

> school no matter what, i tried to explain, but he would not listen,

> any advice?

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Remember the thing most importiant is your child. My 17 yr old

dropped out of school 3 weeks ago. The school said if he missed 10 in

a row they had no choice but remove him from the roll. He was an honor

student in the top 20% of his class and now he cant even tell you what

he wants for lunch. School will be there when your child feels better.

Even if its next semester or next year. Love that child all you can

and tell them the only importiant thing right now is getting them

better. I have sure changed my way of thinking in the last four months!

Stress of school only made my child worse.

Good Luck!

Bill

[Guest guest]

Here is a nice map with homeschooling requirements by state:

http://www.hslda.org/laws/

-Julee

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Saturday, October 28, 2006 7:39 PM

Subject: Re: School

How hard is it to get homeschooler status in your state? You could do that

until he is ready to return.

J

School

My 14 year old son has not been in school for a month, due to med

changes and increased anxiety, I talked w/his teachers and they were

very understanding, now the principal is telling me he must be in

school no matter what, i tried to explain, but he would not listen,

any advice?

[Guest guest]

While you are looking at this site, be aware that they present a lot of info

about families being dragged into battles with schools, court cases etc... It

really isn't as complicated or as prevalent as they make it seem. So, don't let

hslda scare you, very few homeschoolers face legal issues, a tiny, tiny minute

fraction. jmho about hslda, I'm not a fan. They do have very accurate and

current info on homeschooling laws by state. So, they are a good resource for

that.

School

My 14 year old son has not been in school for a month, due to med

changes and increased anxiety, I talked w/his teachers and they were

very understanding, now the principal is telling me he must be in

school no matter what, i tried to explain, but he would not listen,

any advice?

[Guest guest]

Yes I gave the school 2 notes from his pshychiatrist about recent med changes

and increased anxietyt (ocd) Especially at school. The principal said it is

unexcusable and other kids with his diagnosis come to school and do just fine!

At this time he has missed maybe 15-18 school days in a row. He has schoolwork

at home but has done very little, sys it is too hard, too stressful and too

much. I really appreciate all the feed back I have gotten from you all! Thanks!

Keep it coming.

<@...> wrote: Have you given the school

a written note from his doctor regarding the

anxiety and medication changes and staying home?

Is he doing any schoolwork at home?

>

> My 14 year old son has not been in school for a month, due to med

> changes and increased anxiety, I talked w/his teachers and they were

> very understanding, now the principal is telling me he must be in

> school no matter what, i tried to explain, but he would not listen,

> any advice?

>

---------------------------------

Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates

starting at 1¢/min.

[Guest guest]

Hi, ,

It made my blood pressure rise to read that your principal said other

kids with this diagnosis come to school and do just fine!

Unbelievable. How dare he! It is totally irrelevant what other kids

do. The only thing the principal should be saying is what the school

can do to help your son. Ask what kind of accommodations the school

can make for him. He has legal rights to a public education. Please

don't be intimidated by such unprofessional behavior from the

principal. Best of luck to you. Patty

> >

> > My 14 year old son has not been in school for a month, due to med

> > changes and increased anxiety, I talked w/his teachers and they

were

> > very understanding, now the principal is telling me he must be in

> > school no matter what, i tried to explain, but he would not

listen,

> > any advice?

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls.

Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I brought my son's therapist with me to school to speak with the

teacher, para, and principal about how to handle his behavior and re-

entry into the school. I have had to remind them to consult him if

they had situations that they couldn't handle. I gave them examples of

how I handle certain behaviors. We'll see how it goes, but for now

it's working.

In terms of your son not wanting to do school work, ect... I know that

you can't apply all normal disciplinary techniques to kids with neuro

and psychological disorders, but have you read up on how to address

school refusal? It's tough, but when my son is not in school, he does

not get video games or computer time and his TV watching is limited.

Once school hours are over and he has finished his schoolwork I use

those things (they are his favorites) as a reward for attending school

and completing his work. I am not trying to punish my son for not

going to school, rather I am letting him know that he doesn't get any

secondary gain by avoiding the necessary things he doesn't want to do.

It's a tough situation and I have been there a couple of times. Has

your son been tested for learning disabilities? Learning disabilities

can present themselves as anxiety or add to whatever is already there

making for quite a challenge.

I hope it gets better for you and your son, and I will be thinking of

you

Bonnie

>

> My 14 year old son has not been in school for a month, due to med

> changes and increased anxiety, I talked w/his teachers and they were

> very understanding, now the principal is telling me he must be in

> school no matter what, i tried to explain, but he would not listen,

> any advice?

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Bonnie, bringing the therapist to school is a great idea. And they are

deciding whether he is eligible for homebound or school half a day. We seen the

doc today and he changed the meds (I hope for the better) As far as the no

computer, tv, games, etc until after schoolwork is the best idea. I do need to

be tougher in that area. The problem is the schoolwork he has now he doesnt

understand ( yes, he has always had learning difficulties). Just so many things

to deal with! I am glad things are going well for your son, I know that things

are gonna get better for us too!

>

> From: " rnmomo2 " <rnmomo2@...>

> Date: 2006/10/30 Mon AM 10:43:44 EST

>

> Subject: Re: School

>

> I brought my son's therapist with me to school to speak with the

> teacher, para, and principal about how to handle his behavior and re-

> entry into the school. I have had to remind them to consult him if

> they had situations that they couldn't handle. I gave them examples of

> how I handle certain behaviors. We'll see how it goes, but for now

> it's working.

>

> In terms of your son not wanting to do school work, ect... I know that

> you can't apply all normal disciplinary techniques to kids with neuro

> and psychological disorders, but have you read up on how to address

> school refusal? It's tough, but when my son is not in school, he does

> not get video games or computer time and his TV watching is limited.

> Once school hours are over and he has finished his schoolwork I use

> those things (they are his favorites) as a reward for attending school

> and completing his work. I am not trying to punish my son for not

> going to school, rather I am letting him know that he doesn't get any

> secondary gain by avoiding the necessary things he doesn't want to do.

>

> It's a tough situation and I have been there a couple of times. Has

> your son been tested for learning disabilities? Learning disabilities

> can present themselves as anxiety or add to whatever is already there

> making for quite a challenge.

>

> I hope it gets better for you and your son, and I will be thinking of

> you

>

> Bonnie

>

>

> >

> > My 14 year old son has not been in school for a month, due to med

> > changes and increased anxiety, I talked w/his teachers and they were

> > very understanding, now the principal is telling me he must be in

> > school no matter what, i tried to explain, but he would not listen,

> > any advice?

> >

>

>

>

>

>