Guest guest Posted May 28, 2006 Report Share Posted May 28, 2006 I don't know who started this message but I can't believe what I was reading. I have two children with AS. At on school (elemetary) I am known as The Intimadator. And as of this year the same at the middle school. I don't ask I tell them I will be coming and sitting in any and all class. I don't inform them on purpose because I don't want the teachers on notice. I even sometimes stand outside the door and listen. Only on principle told me that I needed to let them know in advance so they could make " arrangements " . I told her that they should not have to make " arrangements " for me. If a teacher gets that out of wack because I am there then she has the problem. It was not the children because 90% of them know me from substitute teaching, scouts, and their lunch room monitor. They just didn't want me there. I would sign in as volenteering and go to what ever class my son was in. In fact this year my son was in seven grade english and while I was in there student were fight over pens, flicking ears and she did nothing. I don't care what the school calls me I am the only one going to fight for my sons. And I will do it again. And they now know this. Stand for your rights! Stand for your sons! Sorry about being long and sounding mad but it makes my mad to think that they are saying this to you. Just what in the world are they doing to your child if they are doing this to you. Mom of , 10 yo with Hyperlexia/AS Mom of , 12 yo with AS Wife of husband with AS > > > > My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to > > call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him > > and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to > my > > horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that > was > > in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely, > > cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the > > fact, of course. I called the director of special education and > > reported them, and since then there has been no reports of > screaming > > or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him > > detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal > > thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried > > to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about > > asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with > > Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. > I > > have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many > > meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do > > that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then > > they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have > > engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case > manager > > whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up > > with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be > > involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he > even > > tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has > > problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. > He > > won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold > > my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out > is > > illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my > > permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will > > take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving > > that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what > > else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give > > him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it > > to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly > > drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for > it. > > My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries > to > > pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and > > violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I > > don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't > believe > > the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal > with > > disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on > > asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like > > an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but > > everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class > > citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but > > isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to > > blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I > > had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making > > materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done > that > > since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool, > > and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only > > when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me, > > he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called > > me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and > > I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the > > principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I > > told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... > I > > will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to > > stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse > > to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole > > situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him > > feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you > > agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO > > ME VENT!! > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2006 Report Share Posted May 28, 2006 Thanks, that is good to know.. .I for some reason, thought I had to ask for these things:) Silly, I am just not experienced with these things because his old school, I never had any problems, they were so pleasant to me, and welcoming... not this one... very rude and disrespectful all the way... It has really killed me that school has been so stressful on us... I really want him to enjoy his education, to utilize his full potential, and I never dreamed I would have to go through any of this... extremely naive, I would have to admit now. I wish I could go back and do things all over again... but I just have to change the future, cause the past is gone. Thanks for all your advice and support... it's meant a great deal to me. Tami Re: ( ) Re: School Problems Hello Tami, If I or more (all) parents know our rights as well as you, were as consistent as you, spoke up just like you and stuck with it. none of this would be going on in the schools. there would not be stressed out depressed parents and children. I'm still learning, but it seems like each time a parents speaks up & wins, the schools educate them selves to make it harder for the next parent. they seem to have an answer for everything. I'm glad you spoke up and got your child what she needs. Good for you!!! I hope she feels comfortable and is doing well in the " day treatment program " I hope you have some peace and time for yourself too. Now that you don't have to deal with that mess in her old school. I know you worked very hard with this. Hugs to you disorderlybehavior <disorderlybehavior@...> wrote: Tami, Your situation sounds almost EXACTLY like mine. I loathe the spec ed coordinator at my son and daughter's school (EBD program). Unfortunately, the schools here in the county where I live are all part of a co-op for spec ed programs, and she is the coordinator for ALL of them, go figure. My daughter is NT, but had PTSD, 13 yrs old. The harrassment she was going through from her teachers in this program got so bad I had to pull her out of school, after which I insisted on homebound instruction till the end of the school year, I simply refused to send her back there, it was too potentially damaging for her. It was not an easy battle, but I eventually got my way, next year she will be attending school at a day treatment program, out of the district, at their expense. There is currently a class action lawsuit against this particular co-op program, and I have been asked by the atty to join in the lawsuit, I am considering it. We have an ongoing lawsuit with them already because one of the teachers pressed charges on my daughter for assault, resulting from her IEP not being followed. As for my AS son (11 yrs old), he is currenly " mis " placed in an EBD program through the same co-op. This will be his last year there. I think this woman knows by now, if my child doesn't get what they need, I will go as far as needed to get it. She doesn't want me in her hair again. I can just imagine the banter in the teacher's lounge about what a bitch I am. Well, GOOD! I have been working my butt off to get my kids what they need, if that makes me a bitch, then so be it. I'm proud to be one! Vent away hon, and demand what you KNOW your son needs! /hugs Theresa > > My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to > call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him > and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my > horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was > in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely, > cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the > fact, of course. I called the director of special education and > reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming > or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him > detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal > thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried > to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about > asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with > Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I > have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many > meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do > that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then > they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have > engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager > whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up > with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be > involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even > tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has > problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He > won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold > my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is > illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my > permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will > take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving > that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what > else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give > him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it > to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly > drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it. > My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to > pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and > violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I > don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe > the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with > disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on > asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like > an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but > everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class > citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but > isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to > blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I > had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making > materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that > since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool, > and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only > when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me, > he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called > me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and > I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the > principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I > told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I > will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to > stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse > to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole > situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him > feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you > agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO > ME VENT!! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2006 Report Share Posted May 28, 2006 Speaking of schools.......our school counselor/social worker called me last wk because Jeffs having meltdowns everyday. We move this month to AL. They suggested I not tell the new school about his AS? And said maybe he would have a " fresh start " there and not act that way? I thought that was pretty horrible. I told her I would feel dishonest, and am hoping we find a great school district there that will know how to handle him properly. I just thought that was odd... Holly Tami Ober <nyx@...> wrote: Thanks, that is good to know.. .I for some reason, thought I had to ask for these things:) Silly, I am just not experienced with these things because his old school, I never had any problems, they were so pleasant to me, and welcoming... not this one... very rude and disrespectful all the way... It has really killed me that school has been so stressful on us... I really want him to enjoy his education, to utilize his full potential, and I never dreamed I would have to go through any of this... extremely naive, I would have to admit now. I wish I could go back and do things all over again... but I just have to change the future, cause the past is gone. Thanks for all your advice and support... it's meant a great deal to me. Tami Re: ( ) Re: School Problems Hello Tami, If I or more (all) parents know our rights as well as you, were as consistent as you, spoke up just like you and stuck with it. none of this would be going on in the schools. there would not be stressed out depressed parents and children. I'm still learning, but it seems like each time a parents speaks up & wins, the schools educate them selves to make it harder for the next parent. they seem to have an answer for everything. I'm glad you spoke up and got your child what she needs. Good for you!!! I hope she feels comfortable and is doing well in the " day treatment program " I hope you have some peace and time for yourself too. Now that you don't have to deal with that mess in her old school. I know you worked very hard with this. Hugs to you disorderlybehavior <disorderlybehavior@...> wrote: Tami, Your situation sounds almost EXACTLY like mine. I loathe the spec ed coordinator at my son and daughter's school (EBD program). Unfortunately, the schools here in the county where I live are all part of a co-op for spec ed programs, and she is the coordinator for ALL of them, go figure. My daughter is NT, but had PTSD, 13 yrs old. The harrassment she was going through from her teachers in this program got so bad I had to pull her out of school, after which I insisted on homebound instruction till the end of the school year, I simply refused to send her back there, it was too potentially damaging for her. It was not an easy battle, but I eventually got my way, next year she will be attending school at a day treatment program, out of the district, at their expense. There is currently a class action lawsuit against this particular co-op program, and I have been asked by the atty to join in the lawsuit, I am considering it. We have an ongoing lawsuit with them already because one of the teachers pressed charges on my daughter for assault, resulting from her IEP not being followed. As for my AS son (11 yrs old), he is currenly " mis " placed in an EBD program through the same co-op. This will be his last year there. I think this woman knows by now, if my child doesn't get what they need, I will go as far as needed to get it. She doesn't want me in her hair again. I can just imagine the banter in the teacher's lounge about what a bitch I am. Well, GOOD! I have been working my butt off to get my kids what they need, if that makes me a bitch, then so be it. I'm proud to be one! Vent away hon, and demand what you KNOW your son needs! /hugs Theresa > > My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to > call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him > and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my > horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was > in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely, > cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the > fact, of course. I called the director of special education and > reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming > or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him > detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal > thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried > to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about > asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with > Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I > have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many > meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do > that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then > they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have > engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager > whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up > with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be > involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even > tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has > problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He > won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold > my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is > illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my > permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will > take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving > that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what > else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give > him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it > to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly > drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it. > My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to > pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and > violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I > don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe > the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with > disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on > asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like > an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but > everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class > citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but > isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to > blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I > had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making > materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that > since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool, > and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only > when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me, > he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called > me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and > I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the > principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I > told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I > will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to > stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse > to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole > situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him > feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you > agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO > ME VENT!! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 This is why I'm being more " pushy " for the dx of autism from TEACCH. They went to his school and observed and did see " signs " of autism but claim he is so intelligent. He's a slow learner, he is smart but a slow learner. He SEEMS this quick because this is a class of lower functioning kids. If I can get the dx, he will be in a more appropriate class. ( ) Re: School Problems HI there, Emotionally disabled, is a lower or " lesser " classification. If its proven he has AS, then go for the AI rating. The Emotionally disabled classification does not provide nearly as much help, or types of help i should say, than a AI rating. An AI rating (which is what AS falls under) is the highest classification and this means any and all help tht might benefit him will be provided for him, but once agian, all of it has to be written clearly on that IEP and signed by all parties involved. Else they arenot bound by law to provide additional services for your child. You should speak to an advocate, they will explain all this to you, and show you exactly what services would be available tohim, in comparison to an AI rating. Advocates are free, they are there for YOU, not the school. Find a group of advocates in your area and get over there with all your paperwork : ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 I had this fight with my son who is mentally ill, not BED (behavior probs). We fought for five years and finally got it changed to OHI. Re: ( ) Re: School Problems Hello Tami, If I or more (all) parents know our rights as well as you, were as consistent as you, spoke up just like you and stuck with it. none of this would be going on in the schools. there would not be stressed out depressed parents and children. I'm still learning, but it seems like each time a parents speaks up & wins, the schools educate them selves to make it harder for the next parent. they seem to have an answer for everything. I'm glad you spoke up and got your child what she needs. Good for you!!! I hope she feels comfortable and is doing well in the " day treatment program " I hope you have some peace and time for yourself too. Now that you don't have to deal with that mess in her old school. I know you worked very hard with this. Hugs to you disorderlybehavior <disorderlybehavior@...> wrote: Tami, Your situation sounds almost EXACTLY like mine. I loathe the spec ed coordinator at my son and daughter's school (EBD program). Unfortunately, the schools here in the county where I live are all part of a co-op for spec ed programs, and she is the coordinator for ALL of them, go figure. My daughter is NT, but had PTSD, 13 yrs old. The harrassment she was going through from her teachers in this program got so bad I had to pull her out of school, after which I insisted on homebound instruction till the end of the school year, I simply refused to send her back there, it was too potentially damaging for her. It was not an easy battle, but I eventually got my way, next year she will be attending school at a day treatment program, out of the district, at their expense. There is currently a class action lawsuit against this particular co-op program, and I have been asked by the atty to join in the lawsuit, I am considering it. We have an ongoing lawsuit with them already because one of the teachers pressed charges on my daughter for assault, resulting from her IEP not being followed. As for my AS son (11 yrs old), he is currenly " mis " placed in an EBD program through the same co-op. This will be his last year there. I think this woman knows by now, if my child doesn't get what they need, I will go as far as needed to get it. She doesn't want me in her hair again. I can just imagine the banter in the teacher's lounge about what a bitch I am. Well, GOOD! I have been working my butt off to get my kids what they need, if that makes me a bitch, then so be it. I'm proud to be one! Vent away hon, and demand what you KNOW your son needs! /hugs Theresa > > My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to > call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him > and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my > horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was > in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely, > cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the > fact, of course. I called the director of special education and > reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming > or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him > detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal > thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried > to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about > asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with > Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I > have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many > meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do > that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then > they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have > engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager > whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up > with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be > involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even > tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has > problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He > won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold > my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is > illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my > permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will > take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving > that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what > else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give > him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it > to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly > drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it. > My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to > pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and > violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I > don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe > the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with > disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on > asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like > an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but > everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class > citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but > isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to > blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I > had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making > materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that > since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool, > and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only > when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me, > he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called > me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and > I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the > principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I > told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I > will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to > stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse > to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole > situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him > feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you > agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO > ME VENT!! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Could you please explain what Al mean?. Thank you and excuse my ignorance Ana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Well hello again: ) First off... it is not ignorance, it is YTL, yearn to learn, more about your child: ) Ok, on an IEP, which is an individualized education program (IEP), once the school has completed its testing of your child, the summation of all that data results in their indicating what your child's rating is for the IEP information. This stuff falls under the subheading of " Designated Primary Handicap " on this Michigan IEP form I am looking at here. The least " handicap " on it is the level of " Cognitive IMpairment " ,and the 3rd from highest level is " Autism Spectrum Disorder " , also known as AI, or Autistic Impairment. There are only two stronger levels than this, and they are " traumatic brain injury " and " deaf-blindness " . IF you are getting an IEP for your child, these " levels of handicap " are very important to you. EI, emotional impairment, is only the 2nd lightest one. AS falls under the " autism spectrum disorder " because of the way the symptoms are treated. For instance, if your child were more interested in thinking about tornadoes during a math class, he wouldn't be focusing on the math class or doing the work therefore. Basically these different levels of " handicaps " as listed on the IEP, indicate to the school faculty, just how much they'll have to bother to go out of their way to try to meet your childs needs. Hence, you want to push for the AI rating, then allll special services are available to him if he has the AI rating, as opposed to only a few, with the EI rating. Hope tis helped, boy was I glad I'd talked to an advocate first, and even had her go to my IEP meeting with me, because I was so new at this paperwork stuff on it that I didn't know she could have alot more special accomodations: ) Shes got em nowww . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Thanks for the info... I tried pushing myself many times and got NOWHERE!! I will see if there are any advocates nearby... or anywhere in area... thanks again! Tami ( ) Re: School Problems HI there, Emotionally disabled, is a lower or " lesser " classification. If its proven he has AS, then go for the AI rating. The Emotionally disabled classification does not provide nearly as much help, or types of help i should say, than a AI rating. An AI rating (which is what AS falls under) is the highest classification and this means any and all help tht might benefit him will be provided for him, but once agian, all of it has to be written clearly on that IEP and signed by all parties involved. Else they arenot bound by law to provide additional services for your child. You should speak to an advocate, they will explain all this to you, and show you exactly what services would be available tohim, in comparison to an AI rating. Advocates are free, they are there for YOU, not the school. Find a group of advocates in your area and get over there with all your paperwork : ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Thanks for that... I thought it was kind of weird, because Asperger's is a neurological disorder, not emotional problem... so that to me sounded ignorant and like some type of scapegoat... but of course... they always have to be right and have the last word... I am going to see if I have any luck with the High School seeing things my way, if not, no more school, I will figure out how to afford private school or kill myself learning how to home school... I hate those * & ^$% they just have to be like that... it sucks. Tami ( ) Re: School Problems Well hello again: ) First off... it is not ignorance, it is YTL, yearn to learn, more about your child: ) Ok, on an IEP, which is an individualized education program (IEP), once the school has completed its testing of your child, the summation of all that data results in their indicating what your child's rating is for the IEP information. This stuff falls under the subheading of " Designated Primary Handicap " on this Michigan IEP form I am looking at here. The least " handicap " on it is the level of " Cognitive IMpairment " ,and the 3rd from highest level is " Autism Spectrum Disorder " , also known as AI, or Autistic Impairment. There are only two stronger levels than this, and they are " traumatic brain injury " and " deaf-blindness " . IF you are getting an IEP for your child, these " levels of handicap " are very important to you. EI, emotional impairment, is only the 2nd lightest one. AS falls under the " autism spectrum disorder " because of the way the symptoms are treated. For instance, if your child were more interested in thinking about tornadoes during a math class, he wouldn't be focusing on the math class or doing the work therefore. Basically these different levels of " handicaps " as listed on the IEP, indicate to the school faculty, just how much they'll have to bother to go out of their way to try to meet your childs needs. Hence, you want to push for the AI rating, then allll special services are available to him if he has the AI rating, as opposed to only a few, with the EI rating. Hope tis helped, boy was I glad I'd talked to an advocate first, and even had her go to my IEP meeting with me, because I was so new at this paperwork stuff on it that I didn't know she could have alot more special accomodations: ) Shes got em nowww . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Dear Tami, I've talked to you off list. Good to hear that you've got him out of school. Now, there should be some homeschooling lists in your area. Check out that law website I pointed out and google some Maine sites - - Maine, homeschooling -- and see what pops up. Even in my local rural AL area there are some support groups that meet online and in person. Here you can be as social as you want. At least you would be in a group that can be encouraging to you in your decision. As for social situations for your son, maybe they will also have some activities for kids. You might also want to check out what your local library offers (activity wise) or maybe he can volunteer a few hours a week to put books back on their shelves. One of my ds' evaluators said to me it wasn't ds' problem with interacting with kids his age, it was the childishness and rottenness (are those words?) of the other middle school kids in responding to him. DS gets along great with adults and younger kids. So don't despair -- our kids are just more sensitive to the " normal " stuff that happens in junior high (which I happen to think that teachers and administrators should work harder to curb). It is not the ones that we protect that end up shooting up the schools, it is the ones we don't protect that do so. Getting off my soap box now. C > > Yeah... I wish I had the guts to stand up to them from the beginning... It's my own fault, I have issues... but they should not be treating anyone that way... since I pulled my son out of school, he has been so much more calm and relaxed and happier... well, he has had a few moments, but nothing like before... people are telling me, the school, my family, that I shouldn't remove him from social situations under any circumstance because he has to learn to follow the rules and that not everything mommy's going to fix for him and I have spoiled him, etc... it sucks to have no one on my side around here... I mean, I have literally no one... his father left when I was pregnant with him, haven't seen him since... or recieved child support either... of course. My family doesn't think anything is wrong with him except that he needs a good spanking and I am basically a terrible parent for not giving him one. So I just have to do the best I can... but sometimes I haven't got a clue what that is... Thanks for your kind response... Tami > ----- Original Message ----- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2006 Report Share Posted November 28, 2006 If this parent who called you is working for the school department as an assistant, she has an obligation to report what she is witnessing to the principal and director of special education. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2006 Report Share Posted November 28, 2006 I am assuming that since he is in resource he has an IEP? Call a case conference, pronto! FBA/BIP time. In-service time. Don't let this go un-addressed! I just had a meeting last week with a district autism specialist and a co-op rep about putting together an in-service just about meltdowns, and just about my child. I was even addressing the bus driver situation. They said what they teach them (and this is fantastic) The Three UPs: Back up (give them space) Open up (so they know you will not touch them) Shut up (because we all know what happens when you keep talking to them during an episode) Even in special ed teaching curriculum, there is precious little info about autism, especially if the staff went to school a long time ago. Help them out. Jackie On Nov 28, 2006, at 10:54 AM, therealgnu wrote: > At the beginning of the year my son has serious issues with the school > thing (he started K this year). After he settled in he seemed to do > really well. Now out of no where he is reverting to not so > " acceptable " > behavior. And if the resource teachers comments where not stressful > enought I received a call from a concerned parent. Apparently she is a > teacher aid and she helps in Devin's resource room. She said that the > teacher absolutly does not get what is " wrong " with Devin. The > women is > a parent of a child with developmental delay and was upset badly about > the treatment of all of the students in the resource room. The > resource > teacher yelled at my son to the point of tears and then of course he > melted after this happened. When the parent stepped in to side with > Devin the resource teacher quickly let her know she was a aid not a > teacher. Also Devin seems to think that medical professionals want to > kill him. So when the school nurse came in the room he told her he > didn't want to die. The resource teacher freaked out and demanded a > apology. Devin refused because he had done nothing to apologize about. > The teacher told Devin that die is a bad word and to never use it > around adults.What is that. He had Aspergers, why does this not mean > anything to the teacher. Can we all say duh. Then she wrote me a > letter > explaining that if he continued the behaviour he would be sent to the > principle for punishment. I quickly respond that I would hope she > would > call me to the school before taking these actions. I just don't like > her anymore and I am taking this all very personally. I am tring to > schedule a new meeting but I don't know if I should use the parents > name who called me. What actions should I take other than the > natural " say that to my face " attitude I want to take? > > Thanks, Lenore > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2006 Report Share Posted November 28, 2006 I am so sorry that you are having such problems with the teacher. My son started K last year and I was extremely terrified as he just wasn't school wise where kids were his age. He has type 1 (juvenile) diabetes so he never went to preschool. He was 6 when he started K. It wasn't until the end of the year after I requested he be tested for learning disabilities that they discovered he had symptoms of Asperger's. Anyway to make a long story short since he has diabetes the whole school pretty much knows him and I. I would recommend having a meeting with all the teacher's that work with him, school nurse and the principal. Make them aware of the situation and try to explain. If that doesn't work go to the district office and speak to someone there who could help you. Ask the parent who contacted you if it would be alright to mention her name also. My son is striving a bit this year. Had a little trouble adjusting to school being all day this year for first grade but is doing fine now. His speech therapist and she is also another type of special ed teacher came up for us at the end of K a great thing that really helped get him ready for first grade was a social story and she actually took his picture in different areas of the school and explained what would be the same as it was in K and what would be different. She even took his picture with who his first grade teacher was going to be so he had something visual to see. I hope your able to resolve this without too much trouble. But never have a meeting of this sort without at least the principal present. Good Luck!! Darcy > > At the beginning of the year my son has serious issues with the school > thing (he started K this year). After he settled in he seemed to do > really well. Now out of no where he is reverting to not so " acceptable " > behavior. And if the resource teachers comments where not stressful > enought I received a call from a concerned parent. Apparently she is a > teacher aid and she helps in Devin's resource room. She said that the > teacher absolutly does not get what is " wrong " with Devin. The women is > a parent of a child with developmental delay and was upset badly about > the treatment of all of the students in the resource room. The resource > teacher yelled at my son to the point of tears and then of course he > melted after this happened. When the parent stepped in to side with > Devin the resource teacher quickly let her know she was a aid not a > teacher. Also Devin seems to think that medical professionals want to > kill him. So when the school nurse came in the room he told her he > didn't want to die. The resource teacher freaked out and demanded a > apology. Devin refused because he had done nothing to apologize about. > The teacher told Devin that die is a bad word and to never use it > around adults.What is that. He had Aspergers, why does this not mean > anything to the teacher. Can we all say duh. Then she wrote me a letter > explaining that if he continued the behaviour he would be sent to the > principle for punishment. I quickly respond that I would hope she would > call me to the school before taking these actions. I just don't like > her anymore and I am taking this all very personally. I am tring to > schedule a new meeting but I don't know if I should use the parents > name who called me. What actions should I take other than the > natural " say that to my face " attitude I want to take? > > Thanks, Lenore > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2006 Report Share Posted November 28, 2006 My only concern with the parent calling you would be that you don't allow you or your son to be a pawn in her game. She could have a beef with the school and be trying to draw in others or get others riled up to stand behind her so she can seek out something she wants. This unfortunately has happened, seen it firsthand, and it's just something to consider when dealing with the school. ppanda65@... wrote: > > If this parent who called you is working for the school department as an > assistant, she has an obligation to report what she is witnessing to the > principal and director of special education. Pam > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2006 Report Share Posted November 28, 2006 hi guys, jackie, i like what you put up here about the ups where you got this from an autism specailit, is there anything, i can find that has this from a web site or any where b/c i try to get the school to understand my son about aspergber and they dont want listen and kkep saying other things. i know what your going thur been there at when my son was younger, but your lucky somoen told you, none ever told me, my son just ended up in the hopsital and then we found out later what the school did, but it was still a fight. hang in there hope you get things fix. thanks angelina --------------------------------- Everyone is raving about the all-new beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 A good start is the book Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments by Miles. Jackie On Nov 29, 2006, at 1:16 AM, angie mccarthy((dickens)) wrote: > hi guys, jackie, i like what you put up here about the ups where > you got this from an autism specailit, is there anything, i can > find that has this from a web site or any where b/c i try to get > the school to understand my son about aspergber and they dont want > listen and kkep saying other things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 > > If this parent who called you is working for the school department as an > assistant, she has an obligation to report what she is witnessing to the > principal and director of special education. Pam > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 He does have an IEP. I have requested a conference and have not received any kind of response. His teacher is pretty young I would say late 20's. Devin attended a school when he was 4yrs old that was part of the public school intervention program. So when I went to set up a IEP I was backed by 3 special ed teachers from the previous school. I also printed many things that explained Aspergers and highlighted the things Devin was extreme on. I guess she must have tossed these things because the things she complains about are textbook problems. He is however learning alot from her school wise but not at all social. And I don't scream and yell at my children and I really don't appreciate anyone else doing it. I wrote another letter this morning so hopefully she will respond. Thanks, Lenore > > > At the beginning of the year my son has serious issues with the school > > thing (he started K this year). After he settled in he seemed to do > > really well. Now out of no where he is reverting to not so > > " acceptable " > > behavior. And if the resource teachers comments where not stressful > > enought I received a call from a concerned parent. Apparently she is a > > teacher aid and she helps in Devin's resource room. She said that the > > teacher absolutly does not get what is " wrong " with Devin. The > > women is > > a parent of a child with developmental delay and was upset badly about > > the treatment of all of the students in the resource room. The > > resource > > teacher yelled at my son to the point of tears and then of course he > > melted after this happened. When the parent stepped in to side with > > Devin the resource teacher quickly let her know she was a aid not a > > teacher. Also Devin seems to think that medical professionals want to > > kill him. So when the school nurse came in the room he told her he > > didn't want to die. The resource teacher freaked out and demanded a > > apology. Devin refused because he had done nothing to apologize about. > > The teacher told Devin that die is a bad word and to never use it > > around adults.What is that. He had Aspergers, why does this not mean > > anything to the teacher. Can we all say duh. Then she wrote me a > > letter > > explaining that if he continued the behaviour he would be sent to the > > principle for punishment. I quickly respond that I would hope she > > would > > call me to the school before taking these actions. I just don't like > > her anymore and I am taking this all very personally. I am tring to > > schedule a new meeting but I don't know if I should use the parents > > name who called me. What actions should I take other than the > > natural " say that to my face " attitude I want to take? > > > > Thanks, Lenore > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 How long ago do you request a meeting? Jackie On Nov 29, 2006, at 8:51 AM, therealgnu wrote: > He does have an IEP. I have requested a conference and have not > received any kind of response. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2006 Report Share Posted November 29, 2006 It was about 2 weeks ago now. Lenore > > > He does have an IEP. I have requested a conference and have not > > received any kind of response. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2006 Report Share Posted November 30, 2006 If you have received no response at all, it's time for another letter. Did you suggest some dates/times you are available? Jackie On Nov 29, 2006, at 1:26 PM, therealgnu wrote: > > It was about 2 weeks ago now. > > Lenore > > > > > >> >>> He does have an IEP. I have requested a conference and have not >>> received any kind of response. >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2006 Report Share Posted November 30, 2006 Why is " die " a bad word? I do not get that. If we don't say " die " it won't happen? lol. Why do people make these stupid things up? Isn't it hard enough for our kids to get the gist of social skills without making up nonsensical rules? You should first ask to see the credentials of this teacher. does she have training in autism/AS? How much training? What kind of training? You are entitled to know these things so ask. Request a meeting asap and also ask for data on his behavior. I would be surprised if she is bothering to take data but you never know. I would specifically want to find out what he is doing exactly (not a general " he's saying bad words " but WHAT words and when.) How often he is doing this. What she is doing about it and whether that is working or not. Get this data down on paper by writing a follow up letter to the school stating what is going on. I would request a Functional behavior assessment to be done asap by someone who has a clue about autism and behavior. This person will also see, if the problem is the teacher, that the problem is the teacher. And she/he can make recommendations from there - more training for teacher? finding a better placement for your child somewhere else? whatever needs to happen. I would also go visit the room as much as possible to get a sense of how the teacher is working with the kids and how it is affecting your child. Document your observations in writing. If the teacher is really abusive towards the kids, you must speak up and demand action. As for talking to them about the aide's comments, ask the aide if she minds you mentioning her and what she told you. If she goes crazy at the thought of you mentioning her name, you will have to get your own documentation by visiting the classroom yourself and by getting a professional to come in and do observations for the FBA. As for her threatening letter about sending him to the principal, save it for your records. Write a follow up about what really happened as well. State that you are concerned that your child is being punished for having a disability, no consideration is being given to teaching the right behavior or explaining what was " wrong " with anything he did and that you do expect them to provide training in social skills/pragmatic language across all classrooms, not just in pull out ST. And of course, I would still be asking, " Why is 'die' a bad word? " I imagine they will have fun trying to explain that. Roxanna ( ) School Problems At the beginning of the year my son has serious issues with the school thing (he started K this year). After he settled in he seemed to do really well. Now out of no where he is reverting to not so " acceptable " behavior. And if the resource teachers comments where not stressful enought I received a call from a concerned parent. Apparently she is a teacher aid and she helps in Devin's resource room. She said that the teacher absolutly does not get what is " wrong " with Devin. The women is a parent of a child with developmental delay and was upset badly about the treatment of all of the students in the resource room. The resource teacher yelled at my son to the point of tears and then of course he melted after this happened. When the parent stepped in to side with Devin the resource teacher quickly let her know she was a aid not a teacher. Also Devin seems to think that medical professionals want to kill him. So when the school nurse came in the room he told her he didn't want to die. The resource teacher freaked out and demanded a apology. Devin refused because he had done nothing to apologize about. The teacher told Devin that die is a bad word and to never use it around adults.What is that. He had Aspergers, why does this not mean anything to the teacher. Can we all say duh. Then she wrote me a letter explaining that if he continued the behaviour he would be sent to the principle for punishment. I quickly respond that I would hope she would call me to the school before taking these actions. I just don't like her anymore and I am taking this all very personally. I am tring to schedule a new meeting but I don't know if I should use the parents name who called me. What actions should I take other than the natural " say that to my face " attitude I want to take? Thanks, Lenore ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.409 / Virus Database: 268.14.19/555 - Release Date: 11/27/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2006 Report Share Posted November 30, 2006 I explained to Devin that die is not a bad word but it is not nice if you tell some one to die or something like that, then he yelled at me and said it is bad and you never say it. I was blown away. Later that night at dinner we had a family talk about the word. He told me that he still would never use it around his teacher. So I have already sent two request for a meeting and no response. I am really considering moving the boys to a private school and just getting another job. Lenore > > Why is " die " a bad word? I do not get that. If we don't say " die " it won't happen? lol. Why do people make these stupid things up? Isn't it hard enough for our kids to get the gist of social skills without making up nonsensical rules? > > You should first ask to see the credentials of this teacher. does she have training in autism/AS? How much training? What kind of training? You are entitled to know these things so ask. Request a meeting asap and also ask for data on his behavior. I would be surprised if she is bothering to take data but you never know. I would specifically want to find out what he is doing exactly (not a general " he's saying bad words " but WHAT words and when.) How often he is doing this. What she is doing about it and whether that is working or not. Get this data down on paper by writing a follow up letter to the school stating what is going on. I would request a Functional behavior assessment to be done asap by someone who has a clue about autism and behavior. This person will also see, if the problem is the teacher, that the problem is the teacher. And she/he can make recommendations from there - more training for teacher? finding a better placement for your child somewhere else? whatever needs to happen. > > I would also go visit the room as much as possible to get a sense of how the teacher is working with the kids and how it is affecting your child. Document your observations in writing. If the teacher is really abusive towards the kids, you must speak up and demand action. As for talking to them about the aide's comments, ask the aide if she minds you mentioning her and what she told you. If she goes crazy at the thought of you mentioning her name, you will have to get your own documentation by visiting the classroom yourself and by getting a professional to come in and do observations for the FBA. > > As for her threatening letter about sending him to the principal, save it for your records. Write a follow up about what really happened as well. State that you are concerned that your child is being punished for having a disability, no consideration is being given to teaching the right behavior or explaining what was " wrong " with anything he did and that you do expect them to provide training in social skills/pragmatic language across all classrooms, not just in pull out ST. And of course, I would still be asking, " Why is 'die' a bad word? " I imagine they will have fun trying to explain that. > > Roxanna > ( ) School Problems > > > At the beginning of the year my son has serious issues with the school > thing (he started K this year). After he settled in he seemed to do > really well. Now out of no where he is reverting to not so " acceptable " > behavior. And if the resource teachers comments where not stressful > enought I received a call from a concerned parent. Apparently she is a > teacher aid and she helps in Devin's resource room. She said that the > teacher absolutly does not get what is " wrong " with Devin. The women is > a parent of a child with developmental delay and was upset badly about > the treatment of all of the students in the resource room. The resource > teacher yelled at my son to the point of tears and then of course he > melted after this happened. When the parent stepped in to side with > Devin the resource teacher quickly let her know she was a aid not a > teacher. Also Devin seems to think that medical professionals want to > kill him. So when the school nurse came in the room he told her he > didn't want to die. The resource teacher freaked out and demanded a > apology. Devin refused because he had done nothing to apologize about. > The teacher told Devin that die is a bad word and to never use it > around adults.What is that. He had Aspergers, why does this not mean > anything to the teacher. Can we all say duh. Then she wrote me a letter > explaining that if he continued the behaviour he would be sent to the > principle for punishment. I quickly respond that I would hope she would > call me to the school before taking these actions. I just don't like > her anymore and I am taking this all very personally. I am tring to > schedule a new meeting but I don't know if I should use the parents > name who called me. What actions should I take other than the > natural " say that to my face " attitude I want to take? > > Thanks, Lenore > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------- > > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG Free Edition. > Version: 7.1.409 / Virus Database: 268.14.19/555 - Release Date: 11/27/2006 > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2006 Report Share Posted November 30, 2006 I did. I guess I will have to pay the teacher a visit. Lenore > >> > >>> He does have an IEP. I have requested a conference and have not > >>> received any kind of response. > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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