School Problems

[Guest guest]

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

This is why I homeschool my aspie child. I know it's not for anyone but schools

ARE ignorant and the police policy is everywhere that I know of, tho it's only

suppose to be used when violence occurs. ugh. Your poor son, poor you. I wish I

had answers for you.

( ) School Problems

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

um teachers are not LOWD TO THREAT A CHILD WITH THAT KIND OF A PEROBLAMS IF HE

DAS NOPT CARE TO TALK AT ALL UNDERSTANDING THATS HIIS DISABILITE NO MATTER WHAT

OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF HIM

TIFFANI

OK get the truck running... We're gonna Thelma and Louise their butts!! LOL

OH Hon that sucks completely.. And you tell your boy. That EVERY 14 year old

thinks School sucks LOL

You need to move him.. By the sounds of it..

They don't' understand.. And I fear that they might not be calling you.. But

rather be terrorizing him instead.. And this .. If it is done by teachers..

Soon turns into being accepted by students too..

A nasty ball starts rolling.

Yup.. Get on the higher ups...

You sound like you are on the right track..

Please keep us posted!! I know there are tons of ladies here more well

versed on the legalities of it all.. And will advise you.. But just know you

aren't alone Hon.

-- ( ) School Problems

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

I have a 14 year old too, I can understand all of your frustrations, and

problems with your school system, my school didn't even recognize Asperger's,

so

you were at least a step or two ahead of me, my school made not one

acception for my Son even knowing he had Asperger's, he was made to tow the

line like

everyone else at the school just like he was like everyone else.

He has handled it well, but my experience then is total melt down when he

comes home, which has made life very hard for us. My Son gets picked and teased

and bullied more for his size, than the asperger's, he is 5'8 and weighs

240, a big problem is during his melt downs he gorges himself, and literally is

eating his feelings, which is just making everything we face combined by 100%

with the weight. Any help here? Or suggestions?

Lynda

[Guest guest]

Tami,

Your situation sounds almost EXACTLY like mine. I loathe the spec ed

coordinator at my son and daughter's school (EBD program).

Unfortunately, the schools here in the county where I live are all

part of a co-op for spec ed programs, and she is the coordinator for

ALL of them, go figure. My daughter is NT, but had PTSD, 13 yrs old.

The harrassment she was going through from her teachers in this

program got so bad I had to pull her out of school, after which I

insisted on homebound instruction till the end of the school year, I

simply refused to send her back there, it was too potentially

damaging for her. It was not an easy battle, but I eventually got my

way, next year she will be attending school at a day treatment

program, out of the district, at their expense. There is currently a

class action lawsuit against this particular co-op program, and I

have been asked by the atty to join in the lawsuit, I am considering

it. We have an ongoing lawsuit with them already because one of the

teachers pressed charges on my daughter for assault, resulting from

her IEP not being followed. As for my AS son (11 yrs old), he is

currenly " mis " placed in an EBD program through the same co-op. This

will be his last year there. I think this woman knows by now, if my

child doesn't get what they need, I will go as far as needed to get

it. She doesn't want me in her hair again. I can just imagine the

banter in the teacher's lounge about what a bitch I am. Well, GOOD! I

have been working my butt off to get my kids what they need, if that

makes me a bitch, then so be it. I'm proud to be one!

Vent away hon, and demand what you KNOW your son needs!

/hugs

Theresa

>

> My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

> call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

> and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to

my

> horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that

was

> in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

> cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

> fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

> reported them, and since then there has been no reports of

screaming

> or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

> detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

> thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

> to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

> asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

> Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments.

I

> have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

> meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

> that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

> they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

> engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case

manager

> whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

> with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

> involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he

even

> tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

> problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space.

He

> won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

> my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out

is

> illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

> permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

> take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

> that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

> else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

> him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

> to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

> drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for

it.

> My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries

to

> pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

> violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

> don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't

believe

> the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal

with

> disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

> asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

> an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

> everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

> citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

> isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

> blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

> had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

> materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done

that

> since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

> and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

> when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

> he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

> me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

> I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

> principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

> told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things...

I

> will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

> stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

> to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

> situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

> feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

> agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

> ME VENT!!

>

[Guest guest]

I have a daughter with asperger's but she is tiny, really tiny. But I do have a

son who is schizoaffective and his meds make him overweight. He gets picked on

too. I don't really have a solution, but wanted you to know you're not alone and

I empathize. It breaks our hearts when our kids hurt. Hugs to you,

Re: ( ) School Problems

I have a 14 year old too, I can understand all of your frustrations, and

problems with your school system, my school didn't even recognize Asperger's,

so

you were at least a step or two ahead of me, my school made not one

acception for my Son even knowing he had Asperger's, he was made to tow the

line like

everyone else at the school just like he was like everyone else.

He has handled it well, but my experience then is total melt down when he

comes home, which has made life very hard for us. My Son gets picked and

teased

and bullied more for his size, than the asperger's, he is 5'8 and weighs

240, a big problem is during his melt downs he gorges himself, and literally

is

eating his feelings, which is just making everything we face combined by 100%

with the weight. Any help here? Or suggestions?

Lynda

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your reply... sometimes I feel like I may be going crazy... the way

they treat us can't be right... I am sooo happy he only has a month left in that

god forsaken school. I wish I could homeschool him, but I am not qualified and

I have to work... single mom. I pray that the highschool is more understanding

and less controlling with him... He's got a superior IQ, and what has happened

to his education, making him hate school, making him refuse to go, it should be

punishable by flogging! I think I am just going to request that his assignments

be given to me, and keep him home for the rest of the year... would they do

that? Thanks again, Tami

( ) School Problems

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your reply... I wish I knew how to homeshcool and that I didn't have

to work... but being a single mom who is not college educated... well, I did

take psychology and I have been through their intensive home counseling program

for familys... as soon as he was diagnosed, I requested it. That helped me so

so much... I thank god for those people. I just wish schools had to take that

course... there should be some sort of law... I am sure there is, and they are

breaking it. But I can't wait til he graduates next month. I will be jumping

for joy! I might keep him home for the rest of the year and pick up his

assignments if they will let me... That's a good idea. Will try. Thanks for

listening! Tami

( ) School Problems

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

There is homebound option for kids who are " too sick " to attend school. Is that

an option? They would provide a teacher for so many hours a week.....

( ) School Problems

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

Having to work is a hurdle, but you are qualified if you have a diploma from

high school or GED.

( ) School Problems

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

Check with your school district. We have an ISP through the

district-homeschooling program.

We have an advisor that comes out everyother week, and there are functions to go

to. It has

been wonderful for us. We had to pull or son from school this year. I never

thought that I

could " homeschool " either, but with help, it is not so bad.

( ) School Problems

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

>

> Thanks for your reply... sometimes I feel like I may be going

crazy... the way they treat us can't be right... I am sooo happy he

only has a month left in that god forsaken school. I wish I could

homeschool him, but I am not qualified and I have to work... single

mom. I pray that the highschool is more understanding and less

controlling with him... He's got a superior IQ, and what has happened

to his education, making him hate school, making him refuse to go, it

should be punishable by flogging! I think I am just going to request

that his assignments be given to me, and keep him home for the rest

of the year... would they do that? Thanks again, Tami

> ----- Original Message -----

Dear Tami,

I can really understand your frustration! When our son was in K, he

got mad at the teacher and said he was going to get a gun and blow

her away (something he had picked up from a cartoon -- yeah,

right?). Luckily, she had the sense to know that he really wasn't

planning on doing this and just pulled me aside when I came to pick

him up and then we all had discussions and then my husband and I had

discussions with ds at home. The school realized that this was a kid

blowing off steam, and of course was a kindergartener. However, if

he had been in 6th grade and said that . . . . Well, we know that our

kids don't mean it, but others around us don't. Even when it is an

aspie, the minute a school in today's climate hears gun and it is not

a K, then a school has to take some action or be liable. I used to

prosecute juveniles (was a prosecuting attorney in a big city), and

this would be something I would prosecute (6th grader not a K).

Now, I too have an aspie who sometimes has the tendency to blurt

things out. Since I have this background (previous career), this is

something we have worked very hard on with our ds (he's now 12).

Does your son have a therapist or someone? Ever since that incident

we've worked with our son over and over that it is ok to have these

feelings, but it is not ok to blurt out hateful feelings back at

someone. Every single time he has done so, we've called him on the

carpet. We've given him options like go hit a pillow, go into the

bathroom and scream, go write down your anger, etc., etc. But it is

not ok to say hurtful things to someone just because you are angry at

someone.

I too can understand being upset at the school for not being

understanding and for being so controlling that they escalate the

situation. We had to end up pulling our son from public school to

homeschool him because we had so many problems.

I hope the new school works out for you, but until your son can work

on his anger issues in a better way, it might not work out as you

hoped. I don't agree with the old school not calling you and their

way of handling things, though.

Good luck and best wishes.

C

[Guest guest]

I've asked about homeschooling before and they refused to consider any

alternative education for him. They say he just has to " Get with the program "

in so many words. Another member of this site suggested meadow cross school,

and I am thinking about that, it's online home schooling... you can do it

yourself or you can enroll them and a teacher assists you and them and grades

their papers... does that mean I don't have to be accredited or approved? Cause

that might be an alternative... thanks!

( ) School Problems

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

You really need to check with your local board of education (county) and check

requirements. I just know that in NC, you need GED or diploma. Good Luck!

( ) School Problems

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

Tami, is your son graduating, is that why he's leaving???

>

> I've asked about homeschooling before and they refused to consider

any alternative education for him. They say he just has to " Get with

the program " in so many words. Another member of this site suggested

meadow cross school, and I am thinking about that, it's online home

schooling... you can do it yourself or you can enroll them and a

teacher assists you and them and grades their papers... does that

mean I don't have to be accredited or approved? Cause that might be

an alternative... thanks!

> ( ) School Problems

>

>

> My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They

refuse to

> call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream

at him

> and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did

once, to my

> horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper

that was

> in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again

nicely,

> cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til

after the

> fact, of course. I called the director of special

education and

> reported them, and since then there has been no reports of

screaming

> or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

> detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a

normal

> thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I

have tried

> to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all

about

> asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the

school with

> Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their

punishments. I

> have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to

many

> meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for

me to do

> that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings,

but then

> they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately

have

> engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school

case manager

> whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after

putting up

> with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to

be

> involved in his academic life. When I do come to school,

if he even

> tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me,

and has

> problems with personal space when it comes to my personal

space. He

> won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me

and hold

> my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I

found out is

> illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without

my

> permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that

it will

> take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is

leaving

> that school next month... why bother, but I really don't

know what

> else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When

they give

> him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he

believes it

> to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't

exactly

> drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me

for it.

> My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and

tries to

> pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many

times, and

> violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell

her I

> don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I

can't believe

> the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to

deal with

> disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a

book on

> asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I

feel like

> an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school,

but

> everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second

class

> citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal

with, but

> isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son

threatened to

> blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so

upset. I

> had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

> materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't

done that

> since then, but he does say things at school like hitler

was cool,

> and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but

only

> when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies

to me,

> he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they

called

> me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the

phone and

> I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to

the

> principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to

stay. I

> told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those

things... I

> will come pick you up when detention is over but you are

going to

> stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But

they refuse

> to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with

this whole

> situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are

making him

> feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would

you

> agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR

LISTENING TO

> ME VENT!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Just keep in mind that homeschooling is legal in all 50 states -- they

can't tell you 'no.' However, each state has their own regulations and

restrictions, some more difficult than others. I would go to

http://www.eho.org or http://www.hslda.org to check on your individual

state's homeschooling requirements.

Tami Ober wrote:

> I've asked about homeschooling before and they refused to consider any

alternative education for him. They say he just has to " Get with the program "

in so many words. Another member of this site suggested meadow cross school,

and I am thinking about that, it's online home schooling... you can do it

yourself or you can enroll them and a teacher assists you and them and grades

their papers... does that mean I don't have to be accredited or approved? Cause

that might be an alternative... thanks!

> ( ) School Problems

>

>

> My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

> call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

> and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

> horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

> in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

> cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

> fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

> reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

> or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

> detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

> thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

> to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

> asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

> Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

> have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

> meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

> that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

> they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

> engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

> whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

> with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

> involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

> tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

> problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

> won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

> my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

> illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

> permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

> take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

> that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

> else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

> him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

> to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

> drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

> My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

> pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

> violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

> don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

> the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

> disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

> asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

> an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

> everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

> citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

> isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

> blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

> had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

> materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

> since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

> and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

> when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

> he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

> me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

> I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

> principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

> told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

> will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

> stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

> to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

> situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

> feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

> agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

> ME VENT!!

>

>

[Guest guest]

He graduates eighth grade next month... but he is refusing to go back to school

this year... and I can't say as I blame him and I don't intend to force him to

go... I put in a call to his social worker earlier, so will hopefully hear back

from her soon. His grades are passing, and I am hoping to just get his work

from school, have him do it and then give it back to them. After all, it's only

a few weeks... then I can decide wether to homeschool him for high school or

send him to the highschool here in town. I will have to go meet with them and

find out what type of people they are and what their philosophies are about

children with Asperger's.

( ) School Problems

>

>

> My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They

refuse to

> call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream

at him

> and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did

once, to my

> horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper

that was

> in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again

nicely,

> cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til

after the

> fact, of course. I called the director of special

education and

> reported them, and since then there has been no reports of

screaming

> or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

> detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a

normal

> thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I

have tried

> to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all

about

> asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the

school with

> Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their

punishments. I

> have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to

many

> meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for

me to do

> that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings,

but then

> they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately

have

> engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school

case manager

> whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after

putting up

> with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to

be

> involved in his academic life. When I do come to school,

if he even

> tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me,

and has

> problems with personal space when it comes to my personal

space. He

> won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me

and hold

> my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I

found out is

> illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without

my

> permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that

it will

> take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is

leaving

> that school next month... why bother, but I really don't

know what

> else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When

they give

> him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he

believes it

> to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't

exactly

> drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me

for it.

> My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and

tries to

> pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many

times, and

> violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell

her I

> don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I

can't believe

> the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to

deal with

> disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a

book on

> asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I

feel like

> an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school,

but

> everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second

class

> citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal

with, but

> isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son

threatened to

> blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so

upset. I

> had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

> materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't

done that

> since then, but he does say things at school like hitler

was cool,

> and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but

only

> when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies

to me,

> he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they

called

> me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the

phone and

> I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to

the

> principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to

stay. I

> told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those

things... I

> will come pick you up when detention is over but you are

going to

> stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But

they refuse

> to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with

this whole

> situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are

making him

> feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would

you

> agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR

LISTENING TO

> ME VENT!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, I will do that.. I put in a call to his social worker and to the school

earlier... shall see what happens.

( ) School Problems

My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

ME VENT!!

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the info:) Every bit of it I can get is helpful. I know the

school wont volunteer any... I am meeting with his social worker tomorrow too,

and I am sure she will be against homeschooling... but what can she do about it?

I think he needs a chance to be out of there and be able to be relaxed and learn

in a safe environment... cause he isn't learning there... not with all the

drama and stress he is under... and I really want to be involved. Thanks for

your response! Tami

( ) School Problems

>

>

> My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

> call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

> and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to my

> horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that was

> in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

> cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

> fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

> reported them, and since then there has been no reports of screaming

> or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

> detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

> thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

> to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

> asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

> Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments. I

> have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

> meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

> that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

> they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

> engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case manager

> whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

> with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

> involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he even

> tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

> problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space. He

> won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

> my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out is

> illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

> permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

> take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

> that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

> else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

> him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

> to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

> drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for it.

> My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries to

> pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

> violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

> don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't believe

> the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal with

> disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

> asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

> an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

> everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

> citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

> isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

> blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

> had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

> materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done that

> since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

> and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

> when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

> he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

> me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

> I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

> principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

> told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things... I

> will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

> stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

> to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

> situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

> feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

> agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

> ME VENT!!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello Tami,

If I or more (all) parents know our rights as well as you, were as consistent

as you, spoke up just like you and stuck with it. none of this would be going

on in the schools. there would not be stressed out depressed parents and

children. I'm still learning, but it seems like each time a parents speaks up &

wins, the schools educate them selves to make it harder for the next parent.

they seem to have an answer for everything. I'm glad you spoke up and got your

child what she needs. Good for you!!!

I hope she feels comfortable and is doing well in the " day treatment program "

I hope you have some peace and time for yourself too. Now that you don't have

to deal with that mess in her old school. I know you worked very hard with

this. Hugs to you

disorderlybehavior <disorderlybehavior@...> wrote:

Tami,

Your situation sounds almost EXACTLY like mine. I loathe the spec ed

coordinator at my son and daughter's school (EBD program).

Unfortunately, the schools here in the county where I live are all

part of a co-op for spec ed programs, and she is the coordinator for

ALL of them, go figure. My daughter is NT, but had PTSD, 13 yrs old.

The harrassment she was going through from her teachers in this

program got so bad I had to pull her out of school, after which I

insisted on homebound instruction till the end of the school year, I

simply refused to send her back there, it was too potentially

damaging for her. It was not an easy battle, but I eventually got my

way, next year she will be attending school at a day treatment

program, out of the district, at their expense. There is currently a

class action lawsuit against this particular co-op program, and I

have been asked by the atty to join in the lawsuit, I am considering

it. We have an ongoing lawsuit with them already because one of the

teachers pressed charges on my daughter for assault, resulting from

her IEP not being followed. As for my AS son (11 yrs old), he is

currenly " mis " placed in an EBD program through the same co-op. This

will be his last year there. I think this woman knows by now, if my

child doesn't get what they need, I will go as far as needed to get

it. She doesn't want me in her hair again. I can just imagine the

banter in the teacher's lounge about what a bitch I am. Well, GOOD! I

have been working my butt off to get my kids what they need, if that

makes me a bitch, then so be it. I'm proud to be one!

Vent away hon, and demand what you KNOW your son needs!

/hugs

Theresa

>

> My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

> call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

> and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to

my

> horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that

was

> in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

> cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

> fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

> reported them, and since then there has been no reports of

screaming

> or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

> detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

> thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

> to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

> asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

> Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments.

I

> have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

> meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

> that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

> they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

> engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case

manager

> whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

> with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

> involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he

even

> tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

> problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space.

He

> won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

> my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out

is

> illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

> permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

> take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

> that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

> else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

> him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

> to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

> drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for

it.

> My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries

to

> pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

> violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

> don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't

believe

> the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal

with

> disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

> asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

> an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

> everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

> citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

> isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

> blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

> had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

> materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done

that

> since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

> and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

> when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

> he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

> me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

> I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

> principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

> told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things...

I

> will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

> stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

> to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

> situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

> feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

> agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

> ME VENT!!

>

[Guest guest]

UPDATE.. my son's school counselor and his social worker came by today... and

they said Oh, we don't want you to pull Will out of school... that would be a

shame! But I told them, you had your chance to make a difference and nothing

has changed. I am within my rights to pull him out and homeschool him whenever

I want to. They couldn't argue with me. I told them the reason for attendance

problems is because of the treatment he recieves from the school. My son did

such a good job of explaining to them what happens in school and why he doesn't

want to go anymore. I mean, they will argue with me, because I am not allowed

at the school to witness all the things going on, but they wont argue with him

because he is very intellegent and he doesn't lie. Besides, I called the

principal once, and asked him if he had done the things my son said he did, and

he said YES! I was blown away. He also told me that he has every right to do

so. (LIE) So his counselors agreed to explore home schooling until/unless the

situation can be resolved and my son agreed to work at home with me... it was

cute, he said " I promise I will do school work for my mother, I would do

anything for my mother.. just not the school. " You know, it's sad... at

meetings, I asked them, what am I supposed to do, he hates this school, I've

had responses like, Einstien was kicked out of school... Maybe he had a horrible

principal and teachers like my son, but now a days, you can't get anywhere in

life without a good education. Everyone says to me, " Oh, your son is brilliant "

Why do you treat him like an idiot, then? Just because he isn't like other

people, he doesn't respond to them like " normal " kids do, he's not intimidated

by them, he doesn't change his opinions because they want him to, and he wont

just sit there and be quiet like they want him to. I guess I am feeling guilty

that I didn't pull him out of school months ago before it got to this point...

it's hard enough to get my son to leave the house without forcing him to and

then having him be treated so poorly... it breaks my heart everytime I think

about it. I just want him to have a peaceful happy life... when our children

are miserable, we are miserable... we can't help that. And I know he's going to

be miserable more often than a " normal child " , but if there is anything I can do

to make his life easier, I just want the opportunity to do that... I am sure all

of you feel the same way. Thanks for all your support, it's been such a great

help!

Re: ( ) Re: School Problems

Hello Tami,

If I or more (all) parents know our rights as well as you, were as

consistent as you, spoke up just like you and stuck with it. none of this would

be going on in the schools. there would not be stressed out depressed parents

and children. I'm still learning, but it seems like each time a parents speaks

up & wins, the schools educate them selves to make it harder for the next

parent. they seem to have an answer for everything. I'm glad you spoke up and

got your child what she needs. Good for you!!!

I hope she feels comfortable and is doing well in the " day treatment

program " I hope you have some peace and time for yourself too. Now that you

don't have to deal with that mess in her old school. I know you worked very

hard with this. Hugs to you

disorderlybehavior <disorderlybehavior@...> wrote:

Tami,

Your situation sounds almost EXACTLY like mine. I loathe the spec ed

coordinator at my son and daughter's school (EBD program).

Unfortunately, the schools here in the county where I live are all

part of a co-op for spec ed programs, and she is the coordinator for

ALL of them, go figure. My daughter is NT, but had PTSD, 13 yrs old.

The harrassment she was going through from her teachers in this

program got so bad I had to pull her out of school, after which I

insisted on homebound instruction till the end of the school year, I

simply refused to send her back there, it was too potentially

damaging for her. It was not an easy battle, but I eventually got my

way, next year she will be attending school at a day treatment

program, out of the district, at their expense. There is currently a

class action lawsuit against this particular co-op program, and I

have been asked by the atty to join in the lawsuit, I am considering

it. We have an ongoing lawsuit with them already because one of the

teachers pressed charges on my daughter for assault, resulting from

her IEP not being followed. As for my AS son (11 yrs old), he is

currenly " mis " placed in an EBD program through the same co-op. This

will be his last year there. I think this woman knows by now, if my

child doesn't get what they need, I will go as far as needed to get

it. She doesn't want me in her hair again. I can just imagine the

banter in the teacher's lounge about what a bitch I am. Well, GOOD! I

have been working my butt off to get my kids what they need, if that

makes me a bitch, then so be it. I'm proud to be one!

Vent away hon, and demand what you KNOW your son needs!

/hugs

Theresa

>

> My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

> call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

> and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to

my

> horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that

was

> in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

> cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

> fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

> reported them, and since then there has been no reports of

screaming

> or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

> detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

> thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

> to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

> asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

> Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments.

I

> have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

> meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

> that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

> they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

> engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case

manager

> whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

> with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

> involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he

even

> tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

> problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space.

He

> won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

> my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out

is

> illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

> permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

> take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

> that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

> else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

> him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

> to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

> drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for

it.

> My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries

to

> pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

> violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

> don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't

believe

> the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal

with

> disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

> asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

> an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

> everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

> citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

> isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

> blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

> had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

> materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done

that

> since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

> and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

> when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

> he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

> me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

> I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

> principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

> told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things...

I

> will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

> stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

> to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

> situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

> feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

> agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

> ME VENT!!

>

[Guest guest]

You are allowed to visit your son's class whenever you want. You may have to

sign in at office, but they cannot keep you from your son.

Re: ( ) Re: School Problems

Hello Tami,

If I or more (all) parents know our rights as well as you, were as

consistent as you, spoke up just like you and stuck with it. none of this would

be going on in the schools. there would not be stressed out depressed parents

and children. I'm still learning, but it seems like each time a parents speaks

up & wins, the schools educate them selves to make it harder for the next

parent. they seem to have an answer for everything. I'm glad you spoke up and

got your child what she needs. Good for you!!!

I hope she feels comfortable and is doing well in the " day treatment

program " I hope you have some peace and time for yourself too. Now that you

don't have to deal with that mess in her old school. I know you worked very

hard with this. Hugs to you

disorderlybehavior <disorderlybehavior@...> wrote:

Tami,

Your situation sounds almost EXACTLY like mine. I loathe the spec ed

coordinator at my son and daughter's school (EBD program).

Unfortunately, the schools here in the county where I live are all

part of a co-op for spec ed programs, and she is the coordinator for

ALL of them, go figure. My daughter is NT, but had PTSD, 13 yrs old.

The harrassment she was going through from her teachers in this

program got so bad I had to pull her out of school, after which I

insisted on homebound instruction till the end of the school year, I

simply refused to send her back there, it was too potentially

damaging for her. It was not an easy battle, but I eventually got my

way, next year she will be attending school at a day treatment

program, out of the district, at their expense. There is currently a

class action lawsuit against this particular co-op program, and I

have been asked by the atty to join in the lawsuit, I am considering

it. We have an ongoing lawsuit with them already because one of the

teachers pressed charges on my daughter for assault, resulting from

her IEP not being followed. As for my AS son (11 yrs old), he is

currenly " mis " placed in an EBD program through the same co-op. This

will be his last year there. I think this woman knows by now, if my

child doesn't get what they need, I will go as far as needed to get

it. She doesn't want me in her hair again. I can just imagine the

banter in the teacher's lounge about what a bitch I am. Well, GOOD! I

have been working my butt off to get my kids what they need, if that

makes me a bitch, then so be it. I'm proud to be one!

Vent away hon, and demand what you KNOW your son needs!

/hugs

Theresa

>

> My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

> call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

> and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to

my

> horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that

was

> in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

> cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

> fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

> reported them, and since then there has been no reports of

screaming

> or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

> detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

> thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

> to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

> asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

> Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments.

I

> have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

> meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

> that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

> they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

> engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case

manager

> whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

> with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

> involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he

even

> tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

> problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space.

He

> won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

> my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out

is

> illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

> permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

> take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

> that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

> else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

> him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

> to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

> drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for

it.

> My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries

to

> pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

> violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

> don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't

believe

> the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal

with

> disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

> asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

> an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

> everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

> citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

> isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

> blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

> had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

> materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done

that

> since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

> and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

> when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

> he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

> me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

> I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

> principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

> told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things...

I

> will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

> stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

> to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

> situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

> feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

> agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

> ME VENT!!

>

[Guest guest]

Tell that to the school... I asked to spend the day with him in school one time

to find out what they did there because he was upset every day that he came home

and complained bitterly about school, so they said they'd have to think about it

and call me back... so they called me back and said, u can come in on Tuesday

but you better be quiet and not distract anyone or you will have to leave, cause

it isn't fair to the other kids that their parents aren't here... Like that's my

fault or problem... well I went to school, alright, and was given dirty looks

and snide comments all day by all the teachers and staff, except the lunch

ladies... they were pleasant, at least. If my son turned around and smiled at

me, the teachers would say, " that's it, you are going to have to leave if this

continues! I won't have that in my class! " Which I assume is a bunch of self

important rediculousness... I didn't say a word, though. I can tell you it was

one of the most humbling days of my life... it was rediculous being treated like

less than a person because I took an interest in my son's school.

Re: ( ) Re: School Problems

Hello Tami,

If I or more (all) parents know our rights as well as you, were as

consistent as you, spoke up just like you and stuck with it. none of this would

be going on in the schools. there would not be stressed out depressed parents

and children. I'm still learning, but it seems like each time a parents speaks

up & wins, the schools educate them selves to make it harder for the next

parent. they seem to have an answer for everything. I'm glad you spoke up and

got your child what she needs. Good for you!!!

I hope she feels comfortable and is doing well in the " day treatment

program " I hope you have some peace and time for yourself too. Now that you

don't have to deal with that mess in her old school. I know you worked very

hard with this. Hugs to you

disorderlybehavior <disorderlybehavior@...> wrote:

Tami,

Your situation sounds almost EXACTLY like mine. I loathe the spec ed

coordinator at my son and daughter's school (EBD program).

Unfortunately, the schools here in the county where I live are all

part of a co-op for spec ed programs, and she is the coordinator for

ALL of them, go figure. My daughter is NT, but had PTSD, 13 yrs old.

The harrassment she was going through from her teachers in this

program got so bad I had to pull her out of school, after which I

insisted on homebound instruction till the end of the school year, I

simply refused to send her back there, it was too potentially

damaging for her. It was not an easy battle, but I eventually got my

way, next year she will be attending school at a day treatment

program, out of the district, at their expense. There is currently a

class action lawsuit against this particular co-op program, and I

have been asked by the atty to join in the lawsuit, I am considering

it. We have an ongoing lawsuit with them already because one of the

teachers pressed charges on my daughter for assault, resulting from

her IEP not being followed. As for my AS son (11 yrs old), he is

currenly " mis " placed in an EBD program through the same co-op. This

will be his last year there. I think this woman knows by now, if my

child doesn't get what they need, I will go as far as needed to get

it. She doesn't want me in her hair again. I can just imagine the

banter in the teacher's lounge about what a bitch I am. Well, GOOD! I

have been working my butt off to get my kids what they need, if that

makes me a bitch, then so be it. I'm proud to be one!

Vent away hon, and demand what you KNOW your son needs!

/hugs

Theresa

>

> My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

> call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

> and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to

my

> horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that

was

> in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

> cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

> fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

> reported them, and since then there has been no reports of

screaming

> or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

> detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

> thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

> to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

> asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

> Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments.

I

> have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

> meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

> that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

> they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

> engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case

manager

> whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

> with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

> involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he

even

> tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

> problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space.

He

> won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

> my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out

is

> illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

> permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

> take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

> that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

> else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

> him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

> to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

> drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for

it.

> My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries

to

> pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

> violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

> don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't

believe

> the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal

with

> disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

> asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

> an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

> everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

> citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

> isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

> blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

> had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

> materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done

that

> since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

> and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

> when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

> he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

> me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

> I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

> principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

> told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things...

I

> will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

> stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

> to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

> situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

> feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

> agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

> ME VENT!!

>

[Guest guest]

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: School Problems

Tell that to the school... I asked to spend the day with him in school one

time to find out what they did there because he was upset every day that he

came home and complained bitterly about school, so they said they'd have to

think about it and call me back... so they called me back and said, u can

come in on Tuesday but you better be quiet and not distract anyone or you

will have to leave, cause it isn't fair to the other kids that their parents

aren't here... Like that's my fault or problem... well I went to school,

alright, and was given dirty looks and snide comments all day by all the

teachers and staff, except the lunch ladies... they were pleasant, at least.

If my son turned around and smiled at me, the teachers would say, " that's

it, you are going to have to leave if this continues! I won't have that in

my class! " Which I assume is a bunch of self important rediculousness... I

didn't say a word, though. I can tell you it was one of the most humbling

days of my life... it was rediculous being treated like less than a person

because I took an interest in my son's school.

**** That is really rude on their part! You were great to even put up with

it all day! The school should have a written policy in place on parents

visiting the school. Next time, as to have it in writing so you can see

" the rules. " Most likely it says you can visit school with advanced notice

or some such thing. And duh, of course your child will turn to look at you!

Geez! He's a kid! I would probably write a follow up letter and let the

school administration know how this was handled. And make sure they know in

advance next time to stop making your ds " pay " for your visit by chastising

him like that!

Visiting the school is one of the best ideas and I highly recommend it! You

can really get an idea of how your child is doing when you see it up close

and personal!

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

you can file an OCR complaint. This is your child and you have the right to

access to him at any time.

Re: ( ) Re: School Problems

Hello Tami,

If I or more (all) parents know our rights as well as you, were as

consistent as you, spoke up just like you and stuck with it. none of this would

be going on in the schools. there would not be stressed out depressed parents

and children. I'm still learning, but it seems like each time a parents speaks

up & wins, the schools educate them selves to make it harder for the next

parent. they seem to have an answer for everything. I'm glad you spoke up and

got your child what she needs. Good for you!!!

I hope she feels comfortable and is doing well in the " day treatment

program " I hope you have some peace and time for yourself too. Now that you

don't have to deal with that mess in her old school. I know you worked very

hard with this. Hugs to you

disorderlybehavior <disorderlybehavior@...> wrote:

Tami,

Your situation sounds almost EXACTLY like mine. I loathe the spec ed

coordinator at my son and daughter's school (EBD program).

Unfortunately, the schools here in the county where I live are all

part of a co-op for spec ed programs, and she is the coordinator for

ALL of them, go figure. My daughter is NT, but had PTSD, 13 yrs old.

The harrassment she was going through from her teachers in this

program got so bad I had to pull her out of school, after which I

insisted on homebound instruction till the end of the school year, I

simply refused to send her back there, it was too potentially

damaging for her. It was not an easy battle, but I eventually got my

way, next year she will be attending school at a day treatment

program, out of the district, at their expense. There is currently a

class action lawsuit against this particular co-op program, and I

have been asked by the atty to join in the lawsuit, I am considering

it. We have an ongoing lawsuit with them already because one of the

teachers pressed charges on my daughter for assault, resulting from

her IEP not being followed. As for my AS son (11 yrs old), he is

currenly " mis " placed in an EBD program through the same co-op. This

will be his last year there. I think this woman knows by now, if my

child doesn't get what they need, I will go as far as needed to get

it. She doesn't want me in her hair again. I can just imagine the

banter in the teacher's lounge about what a bitch I am. Well, GOOD! I

have been working my butt off to get my kids what they need, if that

makes me a bitch, then so be it. I'm proud to be one!

Vent away hon, and demand what you KNOW your son needs!

/hugs

Theresa

>

> My 14 yo Asperger's son goes to an ignorant school. They refuse to

> call me if they have problems with him, instead they scream at him

> and threaten to call the cops on him. They actually did once, to

my

> horror, for refusing to give the principal a piece of paper that

was

> in his pocket. The cops said, well, just ask him again nicely,

> cause there is nothing we can do. I didn't find out til after the

> fact, of course. I called the director of special education and

> reported them, and since then there has been no reports of

screaming

> or threatening of the police from my son, but they give him

> detentions for saying things like " school sucks " which is a normal

> thing for an aspie to say... wouldn't you agree? When I have tried

> to talk to them in the past, they tell me they know all about

> asperger's (even though my son is the only child at the school with

> Asperger's) and I should just be supportive of their punishments.

I

> have brought the director of the Autism society of maine to many

> meetings, and they of course, tell me there is no need for me to do

> that, and they smile and act all nice during the meetings, but then

> they just pull the same crap again anyhow. I unfortunately have

> engaged myself in a battle of the words with his school case

manager

> whom I loathe and I have made this clear to her, after putting up

> with her crap for over a year, being pleasant and trying to be

> involved in his academic life. When I do come to school, if he

even

> tries to hug me, (which he is very affectionate with me, and has

> problems with personal space when it comes to my personal space.

He

> won't let anyone else touch him... but he likes to hug me and hold

> my hand) she calls my sons social worker on me, which I found out

is

> illegal for her to contact my son's social worker without my

> permission. I have threatened to sue them, but I know that it will

> take tons of time and money and energy... and since he is leaving

> that school next month... why bother, but I really don't know what

> else to do. My son hates them all with a passion. When they give

> him a detention, he refuses to go to school because he believes it

> to be unfair. He is 6 foot tall and 200 pounds, I can't exactly

> drag him there... and of course, they are coming down on me for

it.

> My question is what would any of you do? She emails me and tries

to

> pretend she cares, but she has broken the law so many times, and

> violated his rights... I email her back and basically tell her I

> don't like you, you have no idea what you are doing, I can't

believe

> the government gave you a job, you shouldn't be allowed to deal

with

> disabled children, you are ignorant and you should read a book on

> asperger's before you open your mouth, etc. Of course, I feel like

> an ahole, because I want to be involved with his school, but

> everytime I try, they treat me like an unwanted second class

> citizen... I know my son can be stubborn and hard to deal with, but

> isn't that what they get paid for???? I mean, my son threatened to

> blow up the cafeteria in 2nd grade, and the school got so upset. I

> had to reassure them that there are no bombs or bomb making

> materials in my house, and besides he's only 7. He hasn't done

that

> since then, but he does say things at school like hitler was cool,

> and he hates school and he hates everyone in the world, but only

> when he is having a hard time at school. And he never lies to me,

> he always tells me what he did and why. The one time they called

> me, because screaming at him wasn't working, I got on the phone and

> I said, what happened, and he told me he said I hate you to the

> principal and he got a detention and he wasn't going to stay. I

> told him, you have to stay, you know you can't say those things...

I

> will come pick you up when detention is over but you are going to

> stay and no more trouble. And he did, no arguing. But they refuse

> to call me at all anymore. I am just so frustrated with this whole

> situation. He can't help the way he feels, and they are making him

> feel this way by reacting to him the way they do... would you

> agree? Any feedback is much appreciated. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO

> ME VENT!!

>