Meltdowns

[Guest guest]

Please share your experience and wisdom with me. My 6 1/2 yr old AS

daughter is experiencing frequent meltdowns right now, a few a day.

It hasn't been this bad in years. Yesterday, I had to run a few

errands in the morning, about 2 out of the 4 were done and she

decided that she was done. I am a single mom with two other small

children so I don't have a lot of time and I needed to get these

things done. When we finished the 4th she refused to get back into

the car. After trying to " reason " with her for 5 minutes, I ended up

getting her up and taking her to the car. The fit ensued. Mainly I

want to know how to deal with it when we are in the car driving.

What do you do? She is kicking, screaming, definitely not getting

into her booster or her seatbelt. I've tried waiting her out, but

sometimes it will just escalate, and other times I don't have the

option because I have to get somewhere. Anyone have any phrases that

they use? And how do you maintain your calm? AS has taught me a lot

of patience, but days like yesterday make me realize how much

further I still have to go. Please help with any insight. I have the

book " Asperger Syndrome and the Difficult Moments " ordered and I am

hoping that once I get it I will see something to apply too. Thank

you all...I am so happy to have found this group.

April

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I just joined the group. I have an 11 year old son with asperger's. We

did behavior modification for unappropriate behavior and it worked

wonderfully. But " meltdowns " are getting worse. I know they are caused

by frustration and I know that there are signs to watch out for such

as clenching his fists or speaking with his mouth almost closed. I

have done that kind of research. But does anyone have any suggestions

on how to stop the meltdowns before they get out of control? I have

seen them a lot at home but it is now starting in school. I need help

in trying to figure out how to help stop them before the esculate?

Thanks

[Guest guest]

Hi,

each child is different with the strategies that works. this was a very tough

one for us. Ugh!

I was told " not " to give my child something to punch, (like a pillow) to

relieve his anger, because that is giving him the wrong message. I found out

the reason why he got so angry was because he has a " processing delay " . He

could not " think of " or " speak fast " enough to express is feeling, so instead,

he responded physically, or got frustrated.

your son is 11 years old and you said " I know the signs to watch for " Do you

think that your son is old enough, or ready for " HIM " to know/learn the signs to

watch for? so he can learn/teach himself, to stop himself (from a meltdown).

as soon as " he " recognizes the first sign (of being frustrated)? to walk away,

or go to a room where he is by himself so " he " can calm himself down? At

school, if he is getting " that feeling " he could have a seat away from the group

of kids, that he can go to, to calm himself down? Maybe the teacher could give

him something to take to the main office. sometimes the walk can be calming to

prevent a meltdown. (distraction) I think the most important thing (if your son

is ready) is to teach him to recognize, that he is " starting " to get frustrated

(by the clenching fist, or speaking with mouth closed), and have a separate

place for him to go to unwind -as soon as he sees these signs- he will have a

plan on what to do to prevent the

meltdown.

each child is different and this might not work for you at all. its just a

thought. but that's whats great about this site. everyone can post what worked

for them and you decide which ones you will try. but never quit. when you do

find something that works. Its well worth everything that you tried for your

son. Hugs to you both. good luck.

gcpsolson <claudine.olson@...> wrote:

Hello,

I just joined the group. I have an 11 year old son with asperger's. We

did behavior modification for unappropriate behavior and it worked

wonderfully. But " meltdowns " are getting worse. I know they are caused

by frustration and I know that there are signs to watch out for such

as clenching his fists or speaking with his mouth almost closed. I

have done that kind of research. But does anyone have any suggestions

on how to stop the meltdowns before they get out of control? I have

seen them a lot at home but it is now starting in school. I need help

in trying to figure out how to help stop them before the esculate?

Thanks

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

We have managed to reduce our sons meltdowns by being aware of the signs that

one is coming and helping him to find a way to relax. We're trying to teach him

to recognise the signs himself and implement some of the strategies for himself.

For our son some of the things that work for him are: hiding in a dark cramped

place, chewing gum, putting headphones on to drown out all noise, playing his

xbox, going for a walk. Someone once posted a thing on here that was a tray

analogy perhaps they could post it again. It really helped us realise why

meltdowns occur. You have to be careful too because we tried treating our sons

meltdowns like he was being naughty and that just led to him getting a facial

tic disorder.

Beck

( ) Re: Meltdowns

Hello,

I just joined the group. I have an 11 year old son with asperger's. We

did behavior modification for unappropriate behavior and it worked

wonderfully. But " meltdowns " are getting worse. I know they are caused

by frustration and I know that there are signs to watch out for such

as clenching his fists or speaking with his mouth almost closed. I

have done that kind of research. But does anyone have any suggestions

on how to stop the meltdowns before they get out of control? I have

seen them a lot at home but it is now starting in school. I need help

in trying to figure out how to help stop them before the esculate?

Thanks

[Guest guest]

Beck,

What do you do about school? I am trying to put a 504 plan into affect but I

don't know which would be the best method for the teacher to use? Send him

for a walk, let him have down time in another room? I don't know. At home I

am learning how to help him but at school it's a different story because I

am not there. There is a kid in his class that cuts in front of him almost

every day in class. Last night he showed me how he pushes him out of line.

He is very forceful. I don't know what to do to help him stop that as well.

Help.

Claudine

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Mark son

Sent: Monday, January 22, 2007 5:18 AM

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Meltdowns

We have managed to reduce our sons meltdowns by being aware of the signs

that one is coming and helping him to find a way to relax. We're trying to

teach him to recognise the signs himself and implement some of the

strategies for himself. For our son some of the things that work for him

are: hiding in a dark cramped place, chewing gum, putting headphones on to

drown out all noise, playing his xbox, going for a walk. Someone once posted

a thing on here that was a tray analogy perhaps they could post it again. It

really helped us realise why meltdowns occur. You have to be careful too

because we tried treating our sons meltdowns like he was being naughty and

that just led to him getting a facial tic disorder.

Beck

( ) Re: Meltdowns

Hello,

I just joined the group. I have an 11 year old son with asperger's. We

did behavior modification for unappropriate behavior and it worked

wonderfully. But " meltdowns " are getting worse. I know they are caused

by frustration and I know that there are signs to watch out for such

as clenching his fists or speaking with his mouth almost closed. I

have done that kind of research. But does anyone have any suggestions

on how to stop the meltdowns before they get out of control? I have

seen them a lot at home but it is now starting in school. I need help

in trying to figure out how to help stop them before the esculate?

Thanks

[Guest guest]

I found a very good book about meltdowns " Aspergers Syndrome and

difficult moments: A practical solution fro tantrums, rages and

meltdowns " by Myles. It is written more for teachers and

schools by it was very imformative and helped me understand the cycle

of his meltdowns. He is 12 and hasn't had a meltdown at school, yet. I

think as hormones start we won't be so lucky. He has come home from

school with tears streaming down his face a couple of times this

month. Hope the book will be helpful to someone else.

[Guest guest]

The pushing needs to be addressed by the teacher ASAP. There's no

reason your son should have to put up with it.

Down time during the school day really works for our son. It's built

into his schedule.

Tonya

RE: ( ) Re: Meltdowns

Beck,

What do you do about school? I am trying to put a 504 plan into affect

but I

don't know which would be the best method for the teacher to use? Send

him

for a walk, let him have down time in another room? I don't know. At

home I

am learning how to help him but at school it's a different story because

I

am not there. There is a kid in his class that cuts in front of him

almost

every day in class. Last night he showed me how he pushes him out of

line.

He is very forceful. I don't know what to do to help him stop that as

well.

Help.

Claudine

[Guest guest]

Balancing the Tray

http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/balancing-the-tray

On Jan 22, 2007, at 5:17 AM, Mark son wrote:

> We have managed to reduce our sons meltdowns by being aware of the

> signs that one is coming and helping him to find a way to relax.

> We're trying to teach him to recognise the signs himself and

> implement some of the strategies for himself. For our son some of

> the things that work for him are: hiding in a dark cramped place,

> chewing gum, putting headphones on to drown out all noise, playing

> his xbox, going for a walk. Someone once posted a thing on here

> that was a tray analogy perhaps they could post it again. It

> really helped us realise why meltdowns occur. You have to be

> careful too because we tried treating our sons meltdowns like he

> was being naughty and that just led to him getting a facial tic

> disorder.

> Beck

>

[Guest guest]

Claudine, sounds like you should request the school do an FBA (Functional

Behavior Assessment). Out of the FBA should come a postive behavior plan. Pam

[Guest guest]

Claudine,

Our son is only just starting school in two weeks time so we haven't come to

that hurdle yet. But we do have plans in place incase he does need a chance to

relax. We have plans with the school that he be allowed to chew gum if he

starts to seem agitated. He will also have an aid with him that has been well

informed of the signs that he exhibits when he is getting overwhelmed. They

have a farm at the school and the aid is going to take him for walk to the farm,

so that he might have time to just get away from the classroom and all the

action, when he feels that Isaac needs a break.

Beck

( ) Re: Meltdowns

Hello,

I just joined the group. I have an 11 year old son with asperger's. We

did behavior modification for unappropriate behavior and it worked

wonderfully. But " meltdowns " are getting worse. I know they are caused

by frustration and I know that there are signs to watch out for such

as clenching his fists or speaking with his mouth almost closed. I

have done that kind of research. But does anyone have any suggestions

on how to stop the meltdowns before they get out of control? I have

seen them a lot at home but it is now starting in school. I need help

in trying to figure out how to help stop them before the esculate?

Thanks

[Guest guest]

Thanks for putting that link up again. I gave a copy of this to me sons new

teacher and his aide.

beck

Re: ( ) Re: Meltdowns

Balancing the Tray

http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/balancing-the-tray

On Jan 22, 2007, at 5:17 AM, Mark son wrote:

> We have managed to reduce our sons meltdowns by being aware of the

> signs that one is coming and helping him to find a way to relax.

> We're trying to teach him to recognise the signs himself and

> implement some of the strategies for himself. For our son some of

> the things that work for him are: hiding in a dark cramped place,

> chewing gum, putting headphones on to drown out all noise, playing

> his xbox, going for a walk. Someone once posted a thing on here

> that was a tray analogy perhaps they could post it again. It

> really helped us realise why meltdowns occur. You have to be

> careful too because we tried treating our sons meltdowns like he

> was being naughty and that just led to him getting a facial tic

> disorder.

> Beck

>

[Guest guest]

Sounds like a meltdown due to sensory overload. A lot of the AS kids

are sensitive to noise, and the music class might be overwhelming in

that it's loud, and a whole bunch of DIFFERENT sounds at the same time.

>

> can someone explain exactly what a " meltdown " is? is it when they

have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7,

he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his

ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop

playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks.

>

> jeanette

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security

of spyware protection.

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I would consider this a 'meltdown'. To be over-whelmed by a

situation or sensory (sight, sound, touch) process. In grade 3, my

son's 'meltdown' would result in him bolting from the classroom. At

first it frightened his teacher, then as she got to know him, realized

he just needed time alone to unwind (he typically sat just outside the

classroom door) and would return cheerful when ready to resume tasks.

Eventually, she got to know him well enough to advert the behaviour

altogether; sometimes just asking if he needed a moment alone. Now, he

rarely does this, but he dawdles to classes that stress him out, like

gym. He can still get weepy - even at home - so we have to be careful

to balance difficult/new tasks with an abundance of praise.

>

> can someone explain exactly what a " meltdown " is? is it when they

have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he

still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears,

screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the

musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks.

>

> jeanette

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security

of spyware protection.

>

[Guest guest]

My daughter has tended to bolt and that is a big problem for schools. Hopefully, she has some better skills after completing the hospital program. She gets extremely irritated over auditory over stimulation.

And if you need waterI'll Be A RiverLike a wave I will come over youYou need someone to fall intoI'll Be A RiverAnd my love will carry you through(I'll Be Your River)~cyndi lauper~

( ) Re: meltdowns

Yes, I would consider this a 'meltdown'. To be over-whelmed by a situation or sensory (sight, sound, touch) process. In grade 3, my son's 'meltdown' would result in him bolting from the classroom. At first it frightened his teacher, then as she got to know him, realized he just needed time alone to unwind (he typically sat just outside the classroom door) and would return cheerful when ready to resume tasks. Eventually, she got to know him well enough to advert the behaviour altogether; sometimes just asking if he needed a moment alone. Now, he rarely does this, but he dawdles to classes that stress him out, like gym. He can still get weepy - even at home - so we have to be careful to balance difficult/new tasks with an abundance of praise.>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette> > > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.>

[Guest guest]

okay, thank you so much for replying and answering my question. i thoguht those things might me meltdowns but i wasn't sure. tdhssp <johnvel@...> wrote: Yes, I would consider this a 'meltdown'. To be over-whelmed by a situation or sensory (sight, sound, touch) process. In grade 3, my son's 'meltdown' would result in him bolting from the classroom. At first it frightened his teacher, then as she got to know him, realized he just needed time alone to unwind (he typically sat just outside the

classroom door) and would return cheerful when ready to resume tasks. Eventually, she got to know him well enough to advert the behaviour altogether; sometimes just asking if he needed a moment alone. Now, he rarely does this, but he dawdles to classes that stress him out, like gym. He can still get weepy - even at home - so we have to be careful to balance difficult/new tasks with an abundance of praise.>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette>

> > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.>

Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.

[Guest guest]

okay, thank you. i'm still learning. :-)aerinvdz <aerinz@...> wrote: Sounds like a meltdown due to sensory overload. A lot of the AS kidsare sensitive to noise, and the music class might be overwhelming inthat it's loud, and a whole bunch of DIFFERENT sounds at the same time.>> can someone explain exactly

what a "meltdown" is? is it when theyhave a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7,he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering hisears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stopplaying the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette> > > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added securityof spyware protection.>

Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.Try the Beta.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset and

will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from situations

that are too overwhelming.

Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums, aggressiveness

and any change in their behavior.

Ima

>

> can someone explain exactly what a " meltdown " is? is it when they

have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he

still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears,

screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the

musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks.

>

> jeanette

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security

of spyware protection.

>

[Guest guest]

thank you ima. his behaviour also is getting worse. he disagrees with just about everything, he argues and yells and has become somewhat demanding. if i don't get him to therapy soon i don't know what will happen. hugs, jeanettesza25 <sza25@...> wrote: Hi,Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset and will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from situations that are too overwhelming.Meltdowns

I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums, aggressiveness and any change in their behavior.Ima>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette> > > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.>

Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative vehicles.Visit the Auto Green Center.

[Guest guest]

Nothing can stop a meltdown once it's started to escalate. Nothing.

Barbara

"We learned more from a three minute record baby than we ever learned in school"

Bruce Springsteen, No Surrender

[Guest guest]

I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this. Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes, looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying, screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor. I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey

let's go to the toy section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm her but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum to get something. I wish it were! Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues out of the house. sza25 <sza25@...> wrote: Hi,Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset and will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from situations that are too overwhelming.Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums, aggressiveness and any change in their behavior.Ima>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette>

> > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.>

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[Guest guest]

thanks for replying mary. if only people realized or understood how hard it is for these children. it is difficutl for us of course but to imagine what their world is like for them. realtives don't get, friends don't get it and yes, they think theses kids are just having a tantrum and we're just "giving in to them". i pray for all of us, mary. hugs, jeanette <mysofas@...> wrote: I have tried to explain to friends and

family the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this. Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes, looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying, screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor. I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy section and pick out a toy or

let's go find your fave snack to calm her but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum to get something. I wish it were! Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues out of the house. sza25 <sza25 > wrote: Hi,Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset and will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from situations that are too overwhelming.Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts,

tantrums, aggressiveness and any change in their behavior.Ima>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette> > > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.> Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.Try the Beta.

Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games.

[Guest guest]

Hi-

My name is Kirsten...and I just found out that my oldest, , has

Asperbergers. Since I found out a few days ago, I have felt very down

in the dumps and keep wondering what I have done to cause this. The

little that I have read so far basically says that they don't know what

causes it but as a parent we love our children and always feel

responsible when something happens to them. I guess I am looking for

support and advise from other parents out there. It is nice not to feel

alone in this. Thank you! Kirsten

Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

thanks for replying mary. if only people realized or understood how

hard it is for these children. it is difficutl for us of course but to

imagine what their world is like for them. realtives don't get, friends

don't get it and yes, they think theses kids are just having a tantrum

and we're just " giving in to them " . i pray for all of us, mary.

hugs,

jeanette

<mysofas@...> wrote:

I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference

between a tantrum and a meltdown.

When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of

the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So

begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this.

Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched

unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or

crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually

and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking

screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes,

looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying,

screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor.

I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just

can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy

section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm her

but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum

to get something. I wish it were!

Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good

days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the

day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up

and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for

her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues

out of the house.

sza25 <sza25@...> wrote:

Hi,

Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get

very upset and

will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away

from situations

that are too overwhelming.

Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums,

aggressiveness

and any change in their behavior.

Ima

>

> can someone explain exactly what a " meltdown " is? is

it when they

have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son,

antha, who is 7, he

still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does -

covering his ears,

screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to

stop playing the

musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks.

>

> jeanette

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the

added security

of spyware protection.

>

________________________________

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amekey=monopolyherenow> (it's updated for today's economy) at

Games.

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[Guest guest]

I have found an excellent resource on a listserve that I belong to for Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. My 16yo has this diagnosis.

a Cook, a special educator in Canada, I put together a 40 page booklet entitled Rage: A layperson's guide. She is selling Rage for $3.00 a copy. To date, it's also been quite popular. A If anyone wants any copies of Rage, pop a check in the mail made payable to a Cook and send it to 362 Montgomery Ave. Winnipeg, MB, Canada, R3L 1T4. Booklets are $3.00 each.

This booklet is wonderful. It explains the difference between tantrums and rages in language that is easy to understand. It also explains that rage is a neurological reaction in the limbic system of the brain. It talks about triggers and ways to react to rages. I have used it with my husband, teachers, and family. It has really helped me.

I encourage you to write for a copy.

Donna

Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

thanks for replying mary. if only people realized or understood how hard it is for these children. it is difficutl for us of course but to imagine what their world is like for them. realtives don't get, friends don't get it and yes, they think theses kids are just having a tantrum and we're just "giving in to them". i pray for all of us, mary.

hugs,

jeanette <mysofas > wrote:

I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.

When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this.

Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes, looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying, screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor.

I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm her but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum to get something. I wish it were!

Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues out of the house. sza25 <sza25 > wrote:

Hi,Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset and will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from situations that are too overwhelming.Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums, aggressiveness and any change in their behavior.Ima>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette> > > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.>

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[Guest guest]

...very good points about the difference between tantrums and meltdowns. My daughter is generally good at home and with me..it's like I am her safety net. If I am there, she can deal. It's school, camp, parties, etc. She is good much of the time, though. I believe the school system has made her much worse. Her anxiety got out of control in first grade...she seems worse now than she was when she was four. She just turned 7. I have to prethink everything. Leaving places is the issue I struggle with the most.

And if you need waterI'll Be A RiverLike a wave I will come over youYou need someone to fall intoI'll Be A RiverAnd my love will carry you through(I'll Be Your River)~cyndi lauper~

Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.

When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this.

Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes, looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying, screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor.

I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm her but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum to get something. I wish it were!

Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues out of the house. sza25 <sza25 > wrote:

Hi,Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset and will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from situations that are too overwhelming.Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums, aggressiveness and any change in their behavior.Ima>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette> > > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.>

Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.Try the Beta.

[Guest guest]

Hi Kirsten,Welcome to the group! It's pretty well understood that Asperger's Syndrome is a genetic phenomenon and not caused by bad parenting. You'll learn, over time, how to help her get along and grow, but it most definitely is not your fault. I have a 19 year old son who has Asperger's. He has just finished his freshman year in college, and made the Dean's List! I'm glad you've joined us!LizOn Jun 25, 2007, at 7:56 PM, McClure, Kirsten wrote:Hi-My name is Kirsten...and I just found out that my oldest, , hasAsperbergers. Since I found out a few days ago, I have felt very downin the dumps and keep wondering what I have done to cause this. Thelittle that I have read so far basically says that they don't know whatcauses it but as a parent we love our children and always feelresponsible when something happens to them. I guess I am looking forsupport and advise from other parents out there. It is nice not to feelalone in this. Thank you! Kirsten