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Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

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I don't think it's bringing up anger against working mothers--after all

many of us work because we have to on top of all we do--- I realized that in

fact I still work too, just from home and differently, not at all in my training

and not what I would have chosen as a career, but I do it because I have to.

I think to me it is an " anger " against those who do not understand the true

needs of a special needs child and the reality that even with good money spent

left and right, (as related in her post earlier) there are no guarantees

and the parents still need to put in a lot of extra effort everyday to help that

child reach their potential and stay healthy or stabilize in their condition as

special needs are often very complex to deal with.  It's really all about

acknowledging what is involved to properly care for a special needs child. And

when someone through their behavior doesn't it makes us wonder.

And yes many of us have chosen to give up our careers, others just modified them

to better fit the needs or others yet may have completly stayed on track and

somehow managed it all. But my guess is those moms with demanding careers and

special needs children do not have the time to be on this list. Not that they

wouldn't want to, but is that really realistically possible given their careers.

And there is also a difference between just having a job to help pay the bills

and a demanding career that obviously requires more than 8 hours on the job and

constantly thinking about it even when off the job.  I think those of us who

have taken issue with this are taking issue with the fact that our children's

true needs so often go unrecognized and we're told the Early Intervention and

the school district can do it for them when we clearly know how much more is

needed.

We want more recognition of their needs and our efforts, not less.  It seems to

me that when we hear that this woman can do it all and more, it actually says

something about our children not needing all we do and ask for in their name and

when in our hearts we know that they need even more but we can't give it it does

press a button indeed.  So this is where the

conflict is, it's not her being a working mom, or career woman or being a good

or bad mom.  Her choices are hers alone, but we react to the implications they

have for ours, and the struggles we go though that leave us exhausted at the end

of the day regretting that we couldn't do even more and wondering where else we

could turn to to better meet their needs.

All I am saying is that on the face of it this doesn't seem to acknowledge what

the true needs of most Down children are, or most special needs kids for that

matter and that's the part we're reacting against. I get enough of that from my

husband's family and from neighbors even who all feel I should just let her be

and she'll start talking, they know so-and-so child's did and what am I so

worried about, etc. Or the school district who says 2 group therapy sessions are

fine to meet her speech needs and that placement in an all autistic preschool

class will meet her needs very well too.  Even the doctors who look at me like

I'm crazy when I mention fatty acid malabsorption and I look at them thinking

why weren't they the ones to tell me about it first? 

These are our daily struggles and when we hear of someone who is obviously

choosing not deal with them herself, or may have another family member deal with

them as you well said, it just makes us wonder how this could be helping the

special needs cause when it is actually saying all our struggles are not needed

because look, this mother gets along fine and her children and special needs

child will be fine without her doing so much and going crazy over it like most

of us here do. 

Ever since I had my child what I want for myself or aspire to, became

irrelevant, even before I ever knew she had special needs it was only a matter

of what she needs and what I HAVE to do to get her there. And if some women have

to work or want to and somehow manage to that's all perfectly fine, as I said I

have to also but do it in a more flexible night mornings/evenings schedule. But

to hear that someone chooses to work and in a high profile demanding career when

her child has obvious special needs, to me does not contribute to my cause it

challenges it and can potentially threaten the acknowledgment of special needs

in society and in the type of services I can expect my child to receive in the

future.

I could be wrong, it could be she may actually want to become a spokesperson for

special needs and chooses to dedicate her efforts to be able to influence

legislation that will enable more special needs children to receive the services

they need from their schools and special programs so their parents can get on

with their lives and work too, but I don't see that happening given the other

clues I have about her. I do not see her as trying to raise awareness of what

our special needs children go through or what we go through to provide for them

since she obviously has a different financial situation as well and will never

need to battle the school district to get appropriate services. But that doesn't

mean her special needs child will have all he needs either. Her situation is

obviously a very special one, and Liz is right, the vice presidency may be no

different than the governor position for her family.  And I'm not judging her,

I'm just thinking what

the potential implications are for ,e. for my child's needs.

When most of us know what we're struggling with, we just want more

acknowledgment of our kid's true needs and on the face of it Palin's example

seems to sweep all the struggles of special needs kids and parents under the

rug. This is why some of us are reacting this way, it's not about working moms

it's about acknowledging the struggles and ever growing complexities of special

needs kids. 

-Elena

From: kiddietalk <kiddietalk@...>

Subject: [ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

Date: Monday, September 1, 2008,

4:33 PM

I'm sure those of us, including me, that were able to make that

choice to stay home with our children with or without special needs

did so because we decided what was best in our situation. We have

quite a few working mothers in this group who did/could not give

up their career and the direction of these messages (forget very

narrow minded) is very hurtful in my opinion. Yes there are bad

parents out there but you can't guess who they are just based on if

they work or not when they have a special needs child! That's just

ridiculous. If you are angry at me for saying this or angry at Palin

or the media for bringing this up then you have to look within

yourself and ask why. If others are happy with their decision it's

not right for others to judge that they are wrong. On the other

extreme parents that chose to stay home and home school have been

attacked for being on the

opposite side. What are we ants?

Forget VP (which again in my opinion if elected that child will have

more then any of our children do and did whether you stay home or

not!) I don't know why this topic is bringing so much anger against

working mothers -but it's a bit barbaric. As one parent said what

about all the parents here that are doctors or researchers who in

addition to working and raising a special needs child volunteer here

to answer other's questions and help. Let's raise the level of

acceptance here. There is no right or wrong -there is the right to

personal decision as to what is best for each individual's

situation. If you are not that person it's just your opinion. And

you know what they say about opinions -so stop being one!

=====

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I think that it is one thing to be a working parent of a special needs child and

quite another to be VP of the United States.

As Shriver so aptly put it; (I paraphrase since I don't have the exact

quote). Woman can have it all; just not all at once.

I personally believe that Palin is probably a wonderful mom and a wonderful,

successful, dedicated career woman. But..... did you have any idea how hard

this was going to be when you started?

I don't think that anyone doubts that you can work and have a child who is

special needs. But I don't think that there is a mom here who completely

understood the demands and the needs.... how steep this mountain actually was

when she started! Caring for a special needs child is truly a unique calling;

we were all chosen for this task by a power higher then ourselves.... It is a

calling that no one should take lightly.

I don't see anyone as putting Palin down but I think we are just skeptical. We

'know' that it is the extra time that we spend with our children..... time that

no other person possibly could do as well as us.... that makes the difference

between high-functioning special needs child and low-functioning special needs

child. In particular, it is in those early years where so many miles can be

bridged between delayed and neurotypical.

Palin had a choice and she chose to have this baby knowing that he was special.

Now it is time to put her money where her mouth is and do her best by this

child. It is not enough just to have a baby for the sake of having it. We all

have a moral contract to providing the best and most opportunities for our

children once they are born.

How can you possibly focus on the demands of being VP and caring for the United

States of America and at the same time.... do the research, do the therapy, do

the 'little' things every single day that a little DS baby requires? It is a

tough choice for a mom to make. My country or my son? But, I sincerely do not

believe that Palin truly 'knows' this yet. Most of us really didn't know how

steep the demands of parenting a special needs child were going to be until we

were in the 2nd or 3rd year.

However, knowing what she will face.... is it really prudent that she be the

next VP of the United States? I have my doubts and I sincerely hope that she is

able to do it all but I shake my head.... knowing what challenges lie ahead of

her on the personal front.

Janice

[sPAM][ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

As a group of parents on this board I find it amazing that we can be

so negative and critical towards somone's decision on how to parent a

special needs child, whether to work or stay at home. We all know

that what works for one parent doesn't necessarily mean that it will

work for another. What works for one child doens't necessarily work

for another. We try not to critize each other when it comes to

particular treatments but when it comes to whether a mother choses to

work for pay that seems okay to critize.

Although I chose to stay at home with my special needs child (b/c I

also wanted to be available to volunteer in my other children's

classrooms) I know that services would have come to my child's day

care and/or to my office if I had been working. I have seen it with

other working moms in my area. Some work places in my area allow

children to be brought until they are mobile. Others have onsite

child care. When I requested EI services they asked if I would like

to have the services brought to the home, child care center, place of

work, or even at my other children's school site while I volunteered.

I would think that as VP, Palin would have some of these services

available to her.

Todd Palin works on the North slope. Living in AK, I have many

neighbours who also work on the slope. They usually work two weeks

on, two weeks off type of schedules. Why can't Todd be with Trig

during his weeks off to take him to therapy? Then on the weeks he

works the slope other arrangements be made. Working parents do this

all the time, whether they work because they want to or work because

they have to.

Maybe the Palin family is in denial about how much it takes to raise

a special needs child but I think we all were. Whether a republican

or democrat, we should remember that we have all been there. After

all, isn't that why so many of us are on this board...to help support

the parents of newly diagnosed children, whether working parents or

not, becuase we know how hard it is. Let's not bash parenting styles

of special needs children or whether she should work or not. Leave

that to the media.

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WOW!!! Is that true? Am I understanding this correctly? Palin has a pregnant

17 year old daughter? If this is true, I cannot agree with you more

..... someone needs to step up in that family. (It's beginning to remind

me of the Spears family..... tell me it isn't so...)

With so many top-notch women out there 'ready' to take part in the political

arena, it saddens me greatly to hear this. I so want our sex to be recognized

but I really want it to be someone who is ready to do the job and to show the

world how wonderful we are....

Janice

[ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 2:51 PM

As a group of parents on this board I find it amazing that we can be

so negative and critical towards somone's decision on how to parent a

special needs child, whether to work or stay at home. We all know

that what works for one parent doesn't necessarily mean that it will

work for another. What works for one child doens't necessarily work

for another. We try not to critize each other when it comes to

particular treatments but when it comes to whether a mother choses to

work for pay that seems okay to critize.

Although I chose to stay at home with my special needs child (b/c I

also wanted to be available to volunteer in my other children's

classrooms) I know that services would have come to my child's day

care and/or to my office if I had been working. I have seen it with

other working moms in my area. Some work places in my area allow

children to be brought until they are mobile. Others have onsite

child care. When I requested EI services they asked if I would like

to have the services brought to the home, child care center, place of

work, or even at my other children's school site while I volunteered.

I would think that as VP, Palin would have some of these services

available to her.

Todd Palin works on the North slope. Living in AK, I have many

neighbours who also work on the slope. They usually work two weeks

on, two weeks off type of schedules. Why can't Todd be with Trig

during his weeks off to take him to therapy? Then on the weeks he

works the slope other arrangements be made. Working parents do this

all the time, whether they work because they want to or work because

they have to.

Maybe the Palin family is in denial about how much it takes to raise

a special needs child but I think we all were. Whether a republican

or democrat, we should remember that we have all been there. After

all, isn't that why so many of us are on this board...to help support

the parents of newly diagnosed children, whether working parents or

not, becuase we know how hard it is. Let's not bash parenting styles

of special needs children or whether she should work or not. Leave

that to the media.

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In a message dated 9/1/2008 3:37:33 P.M. Central Daylight Time,

edanaila@... writes:

Thank you for sharing your story with us . I think all of us on this

board have made and are making constant sacrifices for our special needs

children. Some give up more than others, but the point is the bonding and that

special care only a parent can give. And what a difference it makes. I gave up

my non-profit development career but I actually still work --in a different

area true, and from home and at night so it is more flexible, and I do it

primarily for the extra money not any career aspirations per se, but I cannot

imagine having a full time job, much less a very demanding one in terms of

time and responsibility knowing what my daughter and I are up against in this

world and she's considered a " speech only " child. Of course I know what that

means for an apraxic child and how I need to work that much harder to help her

learn and succeed because others will either consider her incapable or will

ignore her special needs as it suits them

and either way she will need my help for a long long time.

We all make difficult decisions, but the price our children pay cannot be

calculated by anybody. It is ultimately our conscience and our knowing we've

done all that we possibly can. All the power to you ! Your child may

never fully know all you did for her because children rarely do, but she will

surely have the benefits and that's all that counts. You will be rewarded I

am sure when your child would have reached her full potential and will have

the best chances for a happy, well balanced life in spite of her initial

difficulties.

Elena

From: Strozier <_imyconsulting@imyconsul_

(mailto:imyconsulting@...) >

Subject: Re: [childrensapraxianeSubject: Re: [childrensapraxiane<WBR

_ childrensaprachi_

(mailto: )

Date: Saturday, August 30, 2008, 11:52 PM

For me, it's not about gender equality, it's not about pro-life or

pro-choice .... it's about sacrifice and bonding. I am pro-woman and think

a woman can do anything she wants and be anything she wants but when it

comes to

kids (especially special needs) ... you have to step back and reevaluate.

I wasn't a VP but at 30, I was an IT Director for a large healthcare org

and the first and only ethnic. I thought I had arrived and I just knew in a

few short years, I would be CIO then CEO; I was blazing in my career. After

about six months on the job, I took an early lunch break and went to see my

daughter at school and I didn't like what I saw. So, I went back to my brand

new office and typed up my resignation on my brand new laptop because in

spite

of all the money i spent on therapy my daughter was unhappy and had not

improved

one bit.

I didn't work for 1 1/2 years and when I started back, I worked from home,

in the middle of the night. I can't even begin to explain how my presence

and connection with my daughter has helped her in this recovery process.

(Shoot,

I think everybody in this group understands that their presence has been

key.)

------------------------------------

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CNN is reporting that her 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Again, it is

great that they decided to keep the child, but perhaps she should spend more

time with her children. As parents we can't have our head in the sand and we

must realize that no child is completely innocent, but parents need to talk to

their children. Now, of course, I am not saying I know Palin didn't, she may

have. But clearly, something went wrong here.

**************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel

deal here.

(http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047)

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When I was 17 and pregnant the school told me they would not tell my

parents and I could have it (taken care of) and my parents would

never need to know You don't need parents permission to abort a baby.

I chose to keep mine that was in 1973, I am still with my then

boyfriend we have 2 grown kids and took in 2 more the youngest a lt.

My friend in high school broke her arm in gym 2nd hour it took them 3

hours to find her mother so she could sign to fix her arm, but I

could of had an abortion without my mom even knowing. We did have

sex ed in school, but who listens when they are 17?

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" I think that it is one thing to be a working parent of

a special needs child and quite another to be VP of the United States.

As

Shriver so aptly put it; (I paraphrase since I don't have the

exact quote).  Woman can have it all;

just not all at once. "

*****************************************************************

Very wisely put Janice!!!

And some have said enough already, what's with all these value judgments, let

the woman be, who are we to tell her what to do with her family and her career?

I normally would agree with that and probably wouldn't even get involved in the

topic if it were say about Angelina

Jolie and her decision to stay home with her many kids after

having the twins or return to the challenging job of making pictures and being

on the set for 17 h a day, or more.

This, however, isn't about NOT minding our own business, but about doing

precisely that--minding what can matter a LOT to all of us. She is asking us to

vote for her and we have to understand why

we should or should not given our beliefs and what is best for our country and

four our family ultimately. Palin has elected to run for VP of the US and how

she runs her private life, her priorities and her decisions may indeed affect

me first and foremost if she is faced with the possibility of becoming president

of the US if something happens to the not so young and not so healthy potential

president; and second in her ability to influence policy for special needs.

Can this candidate really meet the needs of a demanding position such

as vice president and president or will her home/family load interfere

with her ability to make the best decisions for the nation? If yes,

then I don't want her as vice president or possibly president.

If not, then I question her ability to detach herself from this special

needs struggle we all face on a daily basis. 

I know, it seems that as a woman you can't win no matter what, but

really, just because she's a woman and also has a special needs child says

nothing about her ability to understand women or special needs parents. Then the

question is can I identify with this woman, mom of a special needs child?

Can this woman/mom of a special needs child identify with me and other special

needs

parents and our plight in trying to find and pay for appropriate services for

our children?

I vote for candidates based on their position on the things that matter the most

to me, and

also based on their character—again judged by what matters the most to me. I’m

sure

we all have a similar criteria and just because this mom gave birth to several

children and

a special needs one, doesn't mean she and I have a lot in common.   

Now here some may say that if she doesn't understand special needs then who

will?

-- but I argue that she in no way shape or form goes through what many of us go

through because she is governor of a state and running for VP of the US, and

we're barely

able to catch up with all we need to do in a day for our children.  Her life is

completely

different and given her obvious priorities I question both whether she can

handle the VP

and presidency of the US as well as her ability to understand the true needs of

special

needs kids and families.This isn’t about putting down anybody, and

discriminating against career women who

happen to have special needs children, but about rationally understanding the

implications

of this candidacy for our lives and the future of our country. It really isn’t

as if a mom

struggling with special needs all of a sudden has the opportunity to make a

difference

in policy and decides to sacrifice her family to help others.  I think Janice

and others

who have said it are right, she doesn’t quite know what a special needs child

means

yet, and once again based on what we know about raising special needs children I

then question her judgment and ability to potentially lead this country as well

as

impact special needs policy, services, research etc. -Elena

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Yes and it is just frustrating how no one takes ownership for anything anymore. 

If I'm being judgmental .... so be it.  You know, they really ripped the Bush

twins apart when they were caught partying and drinking; I guess this current

Palin situation is OK. 

This woman could potentially represent the US; there has to be a Republican

woman (or man) out there more qualified than her.

From: Janice <jscott@...>

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 6:13 PM

WOW!!! Is that true? Am I understanding this correctly? Palin has

a pregnant 17 year old daughter? If this is true, I cannot agree with you more

..... someone needs to step up in that family. (It's beginning to remind

me of the Spears family..... tell me it isn't so...)

With so many top-notch women out there 'ready' to take part in the political

arena, it saddens me greatly to hear this. I so want our sex to be recognized

but I really want it to be someone who is ready to do the job and to show the

world how wonderful we are....

Janice

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No, it's not a southern idea. This yankee feels the same way:-)

> >

> > I'm sure those of us, including me, that were able to make that

> > choice to stay home with our children with or without special

needs

> > did so because we decided what was best in our situation. We have

> > quite a few working mothers in this group who did/could not give

> > up their career and the direction of these messages (forget very

> > narrow minded) is very hurtful in my opinion. Yes there are bad

> > parents out there but you can't guess who they are just based on

if

> > they work or not when they have a special needs child! That's just

> > ridiculous. If you are angry at me for saying this or angry at

Palin

> > or the media for bringing this up then you have to look within

> > yourself and ask why. If others are happy with their decision it's

> > not right for others to judge that they are wrong. On the other

> > extreme parents that chose to stay home and home school have been

> > attacked for being on the opposite side. What are we ants?

> >

> > Forget VP (which again in my opinion if elected that child will

have

> > more then any of our children do and did whether you stay home or

> > not!) I don't know why this topic is bringing so much anger

against

> > working mothers -but it's a bit barbaric. As one parent said what

> > about all the parents here that are doctors or researchers who in

> > addition to working and raising a special needs child volunteer

here

> > to answer other's questions and help. Let's raise the level of

> > acceptance here. There is no right or wrong -there is the right to

> > personal decision as to what is best for each individual's

> > situation. If you are not that person it's just your opinion. And

> > you know what they say about opinions -so stop being one!

> >

> > =====

> >

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> Can this candidate really meet the needs of a demanding position such

as vice president and president or will her home/family load interfere

with her ability to make the best decisions for the nation?

If you ask this question of all candidates, male and female, then it

seems fair. I have never heard anyone consider the family workload for

any male candidate, though. I don't even know how we judge the family

workload at this point. I'm assuming her husband will quit his job and

be available full time, but I don't know that. Did both parents in

your household stop working to care for your special needs child? In

Palin's case, no one seems to think one parent is enough. Do we know

that Obama's young children will not suffer if he is in office? Did

anyone care about JFK having very young children while in office?

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Though none of the kids may affect her role as potential VP, I assure you that

being VP WILL affect her parenting. Get real people, if you think it will not.

From: elmccann <elmccann@...>

Subject: [ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 10:00 PM

> Can this candidate really meet the needs of a demanding position such

as vice president and president or will her home/family load interfere

with her ability to make the best decisions for the nation?

If you ask this question of all candidates, male and female, then it

seems fair. I have never heard anyone consider the family workload for

any male candidate, though. I don't even know how we judge the family

workload at this point. I'm assuming her husband will quit his job and

be available full time, but I don't know that. Did both parents in

your household stop working to care for your special needs child? In

Palin's case, no one seems to think one parent is enough. Do we know

that Obama's young children will not suffer if he is in office? Did

anyone care about JFK having very young children while in office?

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The kid is 17, living in Alaska. Not much else to do. So sad for her

that her mistake has now become part of a national discussion.

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OK, and how is that anyone's busines but hers?

>

> From: elmccann <elmccann@...>

> Subject: [ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

>

> Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 10:00 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> > Can this candidate really meet the needs of a demanding position

such

> as vice president and president or will her home/family load

interfere

> with her ability to make the best decisions for the nation?

>

> If you ask this question of all candidates, male and female, then

it

> seems fair. I have never heard anyone consider the family workload

for

> any male candidate, though. I don't even know how we judge the

family

> workload at this point. I'm assuming her husband will quit his job

and

> be available full time, but I don't know that. Did both parents in

> your household stop working to care for your special needs child?

In

> Palin's case, no one seems to think one parent is enough. Do we

know

> that Obama's young children will not suffer if he is in office? Did

> anyone care about JFK having very young children while in office?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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" Can this candidate really meet the needs of a demanding position such

as vice president and president or will her home/family load interfere

with her ability to make the best decisions for the nation? "

I think that when you are dealing with an 'infant', this question does seem

fair. This children was not born from the womb of the father after all, but

from the mother. I think this is one item that shocks me.... the child is

barely 4 months old! I just don't know that a father could possibly replace the

'mother-child' bond that needs to take place during the first year of life.

I will cheer this woman on and hope that she can manage this load but I fear for

her son who.... if she is elected and goes the full 2 terms.... will be 8 when

his mom is done with being VP. That's a pretty tough go for a little guy with

so many challenges ahead. In the end, I suspect that he will be the one to pay.

Again, my concern is for the child here and I am not trying to be political.

The question I asked originally was sincere and not meant to be mean spirited

since I, myself couldn't do it. I had a great career on the go and was the

corporate controller to a medium-sized firm with 100 million in sales.... when

it all ended. I chose to end it but still only thought that I would be out of

work for a couple of years.... until I got my boy 'on-track', you know! BOY....

was I in for one heck of a surprise! I just don't know how one could do both and

stay 'intact'. I would have expired from exhaustion trying to do what I do now

for Mark and do what I did back when I had a career. Most nights, I didn't get

home until 8 or 9 pm. Weekends? My poor kids didn't see me much then either

and I now realize what an impossible situation that was for them. When you're

growing a young company, well, home-life just goes out the window.

Just holding down the job was tough enough never mind trying to help my

beautiful boy at the same time..... something had to go..... and for me, it was

the career. Now, I could still work as an accountant and do much of what I

still do with Mark..... and still maintain my sanity but it wouldn't be the

same high powered position... not even close.....

Janice

----- Original Message -----

>

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I would never be the first to throw a stone.  We all do our best as parents. 

Aren't you all tired of people judging your child, your famiy etc.  The looks,

the " what kind of parent are you? " etc.  Especially is there is a child who has

" issues " .  I'm sorry.  I just think it's time to put down the sword.  Feel

compassion and realize we are all human .  Pray if McCain becomes the president

that she will draw attention to OUR ISSUES that need to be addressed because she

will have first hand the heartbreak of being a parent with a child who needs

more than the average child.  dian in Illinois

From: aigjr@... <aigjr@...>

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 10:21 PM

CNN is reporting that her 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Again, it is

great that they decided to keep the child, but perhaps she should spend more

time with her children. As parents we can't have our head in the sand and we

must realize that no child is completely innocent, but parents need to talk to

their children. Now, of course, I am not saying I know Palin didn't, she may

have. But clearly, something went wrong here.

************ **It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel

deal here.

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>. . .the child is barely 4 months old! I just don't know that a

father could possibly replace the 'mother-child' bond that needs to

take place during the first year of life.

So, if a mother dies during childbirth, the father should give the baby

up for adoption because he doesn't stand a chance?

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Janice

 

IJanice,

 

I gave up my carrer as well, but I am very hands off and believe that the mother

should be able to make the same choices in today's society as the father.  Women

should not have to change their entire lives to have children.  When opportunity

presents itself, one has to decide if the timing is right, and if the sacrifices

will be worth the gain.

 

Just because a child is young or has DS should not change the entire focus of

the woman's life.   This has to do with whether or not she has the platform that

you support.  I don't believe that shaking our heads at personal choices of

someone none of us knows is an appropriate  topic for discussion.   You have

every right to be concerned for the child, but none of us has all the

information we need.  Perhaps a grandmother will move with them, perhaps the

father will take a leave of absence, perhaps the 17 year old with help with both

babies.  Who knows what their plan is but as Obama stated  last night --

families are offf limits.  

 

 

I believe she will do what is right for her family as she did so when she fired

the state of Alaska's cheff, saying she could cook for her own family. 

 

She appears to me to be well-balanced.  Of course, I don't know her either.  I

have concerns over her lack of political experience, but I have the exact same

concerns over Obama's lack of experience.

 

I believe this topic is highly inappropriate for this listserv.  She is not a

listserv member.   So far her child does not have a dx or apraxia or dyspraxia.

 

Who cares what her personal choice is.  That is why it is personal.

 

Sharon

 

  

The information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity to which

it is addressed and may contain confidential, proprietary, and/or privileged

material. Any review, retransmission, dissemination or other use of, or taking

of any action in reliance upon, this information by persons or entities other

than the intended recipient is prohibited. If you receive this in error, please

contact the sender and delete the material from all computers.

Sharon Lang

From: Janice <jscott@...>

Subject: Re:[ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

Date: Tuesday, September 2, 2008, 12:54 AM

" Can this candidate really meet the needs of a demanding position such

as vice president and president or will her home/family load interfere

with her ability to make the best decisions for the nation? "

I think that when you are dealing with an 'infant', this question does seem

fair. This children was not born from the womb of the father after all, but from

the mother. I think this is one item that shocks me.... the child is barely 4

months old! I just don't know that a father could possibly replace the

'mother-child' bond that needs to take place during the first year of life.

I will cheer this woman on and hope that she can manage this load but I fear for

her son who.... if she is elected and goes the full 2 terms.... will be 8 when

his mom is done with being VP. That's a pretty tough go for a little guy with so

many challenges ahead. In the end, I suspect that he will be the one to pay.

Again, my concern is for the child here and I am not trying to be political. The

question I asked originally was sincere and not meant to be mean spirited since

I, myself couldn't do it. I had a great career on the go and was the corporate

controller to a medium-sized firm with 100 million in sales.... when it all

ended. I chose to end it but still only thought that I would be out of work for

a couple of years.... until I got my boy 'on-track', you know! BOY.... was I in

for one heck of a surprise! I just don't know how one could do both and stay

'intact'. I would have expired from exhaustion trying to do what I do now for

Mark and do what I did back when I had a career. Most nights, I didn't get home

until 8 or 9 pm. Weekends? My poor kids didn't see me much then either and I now

realize what an impossible situation that was for them. When you're growing a

young company, well, home-life just goes out the window.

Just holding down the job was tough enough never mind trying to help my

beautiful boy at the same time..... something had to go..... and for me, it was

the career. Now, I could still work as an accountant and do much of what I still

do with Mark..... and still maintain my sanity but it wouldn't be the same high

powered position... not even close.....

Janice

----- Original Message -----

>

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Good point, .

 

Sharon Lang

From: elmccann <elmccann@...>

Subject: Re:[ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

Date: Tuesday, September 2, 2008, 10:05 AM

>. . .the child is barely 4 months old! I just don't know that a

father could possibly replace the 'mother-child' bond that needs to

take place during the first year of life.

So, if a mother dies during childbirth, the father should give the baby

up for adoption because he doesn't stand a chance?

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No one's saying that.  The bonding is different between Mom and Dad.

From: elmccann <elmccann@...>

Subject: Re:[ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

Date: Tuesday, September 2, 2008, 10:05 AM

>. . .the child is barely 4 months old! I just don't know that a

father could possibly replace the 'mother-child' bond that needs to

take place during the first year of life.

So, if a mother dies during childbirth, the father should give the baby

up for adoption because he doesn't stand a chance?

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I think a lot of people that have been saying mean things or are being

judgement al about her choice to accept the Vice presidency nomination are just

looking for something to slam her about. It isn't even about politics anymore.

Her private life should be kept private and people should refrain from saying

nasty things. Is it helpful? I think we all have gotten the point, and

understand that some people think she is a terrible parent. There are plenty

Mom's

out there with special needs children that don't do as good a job as her.

Lets be on her side, she could just be our next Vice President. If you don't

like her that is one thing, but don't let your political stance make her out to

be this terrible person, she isn't. For those judging her and her parental

skills, do you personally know her? If not you shouldn't talk about her

personal situation, it is cruel. Would people be harping on her if she didn't

have

a special needs child? Don't think so. Jen

**************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel

deal here.

(http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047)

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This topic does NOT BELONG ON THIS SITE...BLOG YOUR POLITICAL THOUGHTS

SOMEWHERE ELSE. Is this site about obtaining & sharing information about

Apraxia or POLITICS? ENOUGH!

Strozier

<imyconsulting@ya

hoo.com> To

Sent by:

childrensapraxian cc

et@...

m Subject

Re:[ ] Re:

Palin's choice puts her under 20%

09/02/2008 10:50

AM

Please respond to

childrensapraxian

et@...

m

No one's saying that.  The bonding is different between Mom and Dad.

From: elmccann <elmccann@...>

Subject: Re:[ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

Date: Tuesday, September 2, 2008, 10:05 AM

>. . .the child is barely 4 months old! I just don't know that a

father could possibly replace the 'mother-child' bond that needs to

take place during the first year of life.

So, if a mother dies during childbirth, the father should give the baby

up for adoption because he doesn't stand a chance?

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Myra we do have members that have children with Down Syndrome and

when I read the stat that said 80% would abort a Down Syndrome baby I

was a bit shocked how in the minority I am. The 20% where I stand is

the percentage of parents who choose not to abort. I didn't

appreciate the way the media presented her decision as if the 'only'

reason one would choose to keep a Down Syndrome baby was due to her

political stand on prolife. I don't know who is black or white on

either side as it's all shades of gray -but if I had to pick one side

it's pro choice -yet I too would not abort my baby if he or she had

Down Syndrome. I applauded her decision to keep the baby -no matter

what her political view. Years ago as a society we believed all deaf

children couldn't learn. Years ago as a society we believed all CP

children couldn't learn. Today many believe speech impaired children

are learning disabled. How does anyone know Down Syndrome babies are

not able to learn when most don't give them that chance? And I

posted a story about one teen from NJ who's dad is CEO of and

Noble that broke the mold. She proved everyone wrong.

(and sadly died far too young just recently of cancer)

I Have Down Syndrome—Know Me Before You Judge Me

http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/Stories/PeoplePlaces/Downsyndrome

http://www.riggio.net/

Song she wrote

I do not judge those that would choose to abort as it's their choice.

I did not mean for this to be a debate about working vs stay at home

mothers or a debate about who is best to raise a special needs baby

mom or dad -or a debate about politics. I meant this to be about

special needs children and that many when given the chance can live

to prove the world wrong -just like .

Most didn't talk about Biden's stuttering but the point I brought up

on that is that he's doing so well now in speech that some stutterers like him

(!) jumped on this on blogs saying he's not a stutterer - he

must have had developmental stuttering. I asked -how normal is it

that developmental stuttering lasts through high school? And also if

one is doing really well in public doesn't mean that they don't break

down in public.

Some stutterers attack him for trying to give young stutterers hope.

Shame on them!

Both situations bring special needs into the spotlight. Why not talk

about it here? (the parts that relate to our children -or the

members here who have special needs)

=====

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,

Why?

Because look what it turned into; a huge 12 arm monster. From teen

pregnancy, to good parenting, to sex education, to down syndrome, working

v. non working mothers and it'll go on and on. You of all people should

know this; you helped create it. This site is not about Down Syndrome or

working mothers with Down Syndrome. (No offense to those with children

with Down Syndrome) There are numerous resources for Down Syndrome and it

is a condition with national recognition. There is even prenatal testing

for it! I commend Palin for her decison as well but I also think dragging

the 5 children through this grueling & cruel political process is NOT

admirable! That decision was not well thought through on her part. And so

here you have it more opinion that doesn't need to be talked about here.

I just think that we need to stay on course with what this log was

intended: Apraxia & issues surrounding it. This forum has proved

invaluable to me and my son and I don't want to feel like I need to

discontinue reading it because we turned political.

Myra

" kiddietalk "

<kiddietalk@

.com> To

Sent by:

childrensapraxian cc

et@...

m Subject

Re:[ ] Re:

Palin's choice puts her under 20%

09/02/2008 01:19

PM

Please respond to

childrensapraxian

et@...

m

Myra we do have members that have children with Down Syndrome and

when I read the stat that said 80% would abort a Down Syndrome baby I

was a bit shocked how in the minority I am. The 20% where I stand is

the percentage of parents who choose not to abort. I didn't

appreciate the way the media presented her decision as if the 'only'

reason one would choose to keep a Down Syndrome baby was due to her

political stand on prolife. I don't know who is black or white on

either side as it's all shades of gray -but if I had to pick one side

it's pro choice -yet I too would not abort my baby if he or she had

Down Syndrome. I applauded her decision to keep the baby -no matter

what her political view. Years ago as a society we believed all deaf

children couldn't learn. Years ago as a society we believed all CP

children couldn't learn. Today many believe speech impaired children

are learning disabled. How does anyone know Down Syndrome babies are

not able to learn when most don't give them that chance? And I

posted a story about one teen from NJ who's dad is CEO of and

Noble that broke the mold. She proved everyone wrong.

(and sadly died far too young just recently of cancer)

I Have Down Syndrome—Know Me Before You Judge Me

http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/Stories/PeoplePlaces/Downsyndrome

http://www.riggio.net/

Song she wrote

I do not judge those that would choose to abort as it's their choice.

I did not mean for this to be a debate about working vs stay at home

mothers or a debate about who is best to raise a special needs baby

mom or dad -or a debate about politics. I meant this to be about

special needs children and that many when given the chance can live

to prove the world wrong -just like .

Most didn't talk about Biden's stuttering but the point I brought up

on that is that he's doing so well now in speech that some stutterers like

him (!) jumped on this on blogs saying he's not a stutterer - he

must have had developmental stuttering. I asked -how normal is it

that developmental stuttering lasts through high school? And also if

one is doing really well in public doesn't mean that they don't break

down in public.

Some stutterers attack him for trying to give young stutterers hope.

Shame on them!

Both situations bring special needs into the spotlight. Why not talk

about it here? (the parts that relate to our children -or the

members here who have special needs)

=====

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I remember when I was researching NACD coming across a Mom doing program with

her DS son and had done so since he was a little tyke. Her son was in

mainstream grade 6, scoring straight 'A's and simply prospering. My boy at that

time was in special education grade 6 and doing poorly. Her story truly

inspired me and I just 'knew' that I could do the same for Mark...... you

know.... if she can do it, so can I.... Alas.... I have!

At NACD they start DS kids reading very, very young and apparently have

discovered that many of these kids become remarkeable early readers at the age

of 2! Just goes to show you that many of our children truly have untapped gifts

that are not always apparent at first glance.

Early identification and beginning intensive therapies at a young age can really

bridge the gap for all children. All children have unlimited potential.....

Janice

[sPAM]Re:[ ] Re: Palin's choice puts her under 20%

Myra we do have members that have children with Down Syndrome and

when I read the stat that said 80% would abort a Down Syndrome baby I

was a bit shocked how in the minority I am. The 20% where I stand is

the percentage of parents who choose not to abort. I didn't

appreciate the way the media presented her decision as if the 'only'

reason one would choose to keep a Down Syndrome baby was due to her

political stand on prolife. I don't know who is black or white on

either side as it's all shades of gray -but if I had to pick one side

it's pro choice -yet I too would not abort my baby if he or she had

Down Syndrome. I applauded her decision to keep the baby -no matter

what her political view. Years ago as a society we believed all deaf

children couldn't learn. Years ago as a society we believed all CP

children couldn't learn. Today many believe speech impaired children

are learning disabled. How does anyone know Down Syndrome babies are

not able to learn when most don't give them that chance? And I

posted a story about one teen from NJ who's dad is CEO of and

Noble that broke the mold. She proved everyone wrong.

(and sadly died far too young just recently of cancer)

I Have Down Syndrome-Know Me Before You Judge Me

http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/Stories/PeoplePlaces/Downsyndrome

http://www.riggio.net/

Song she wrote

I do not judge those that would choose to abort as it's their choice.

I did not mean for this to be a debate about working vs stay at home

mothers or a debate about who is best to raise a special needs baby

mom or dad -or a debate about politics. I meant this to be about

special needs children and that many when given the chance can live

to prove the world wrong -just like .

Most didn't talk about Biden's stuttering but the point I brought up

on that is that he's doing so well now in speech that some stutterers like him

(!) jumped on this on blogs saying he's not a stutterer - he

must have had developmental stuttering. I asked -how normal is it

that developmental stuttering lasts through high school? And also if

one is doing really well in public doesn't mean that they don't break

down in public.

Some stutterers attack him for trying to give young stutterers hope.

Shame on them!

Both situations bring special needs into the spotlight. Why not talk

about it here? (the parts that relate to our children -or the

members here who have special needs)

=====

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