barb

[Guest guest]

Barbara,

If you are able to drive a couple times a week, would you still be able to go back to the "old place" and "work for free" with the kids? I'm thinking that you said once that everyone you worked with, you included, was always overloaded with cases....................that you needed more people there so that you would all have a few less kids to handle, and that would mean you would of been able to give those kids a little bit more time that they needed desperately.

If you could go in even 1 or 2 days a week, and talk to the kids that are the worst of the bunch, that would help some. It would help your ex-co-workers, and it would make it so that you'd still be able to feel like you are able to help the kids.

I don't remember exactly what you did with the kids......................what your job description was, but, Ginny I think it was mentioned working with Latchkey kids, maybe finding out how many there are in just your neighborhood, or your block, and set up something 1, 2, 3 times a week after school so that the kids can all come to your place and start their homework. Maybe have it where the older, A & B students can help the younger students and even the older Students that aren't as smart that doesn't understand the homework. Sort of a Tutoring Program..

And, to cover costs for snacks and drinks, Parents could pay $2 or $3 for each day that the kids are there. Say the kid gets to your house at 3:50 pm, and is there until 5:30. You give them a snack and a glass of Juice or a can of pop around 4:30. You won't have to feed them dinner, and you make it clear that no child is to stay past 6 pm UNLESS the parent calls before 6 pm because of a Medical Emergency. Having to work late is not an excuse, they will have to find someone else to take care of the children. And, if they have more than 1 child, make that $2-3 per child, and no child under 5/full day kindergarten OR no child below 7th Grade. Whatever age group you are most comfortable with. In my opinion, any child under 12/7th Grade that comes home without a babysitter/Parent waiting for them, needs to have the Parent reported to Child Protection Agency!

Another thought...........

Where you'll probably be with Elsie quite a bit during her trips to the hospital for treatments and everything, there are a lot of people there going thru treatment that can't leave. They have to stay at the hospital from the very start, until the tests come back saying the cancer is in remission, totally gone, or, they die. And a lot of those people doesn't have any family come to see them.

To have someone come in and talk to them, to listen to them, to read to them.......................I know brightens their days up. I do know that some sleeps while they have the treatments done, because my FIL did every time, but, since each time he went in, he would have to sit in that chair for 5-7 hours straight. So, since the person administering the Chemo was my MIL's Niece, they would talk about other family members, or they would joke around A LOT..................................................

Just a couple of Idea's that came to me since I can't sleep.

I DO hope that you will be able to put your mind in the right area to be able to enjoy the Party that they're going to throw for you! There is nothing worse at a party than the Honoree being down in the dumps!!!

Tonia

-------Original Message-------

Thanks, Faye, although I have to say that my current mood is not particularly inspirational. I'm okay, though, and will get through all of this. By the way, that foot in the door that several of you have referred, I have always called "doorway paralysis." Kinda of like either not wanting to leave where you are to go into the next place or just knowing what the next place is and not wanting to go there period (like when you have to go in for a treatment and you linger at the doorway that enters the hospital/clinic).

[Guest guest]

Tonia - THanks for the ideas. I just can't get beyond where I am right now. I will eventually but just can't right now. Thanks and love - BarbaraTonia wrote:

Barbara,

If you are able to drive a couple times a week, would you still be able to go back to the "old place" and "work for free" with the kids? I'm thinking that you said once that everyone you worked with, you included, was always overloaded with cases....................that you needed more people there so that you would all have a few less kids to handle, and that would mean you would of been able to give those kids a little bit more time that they needed desperately.

If you could go in even 1 or 2 days a week, and talk to the kids that are the worst of the bunch, that would help some. It would help your ex-co-workers, and it would make it so that you'd still be able to feel like you are able to help the kids.

I don't remember exactly what you did with the kids......................what your job description was, but, Ginny I think it was mentioned working with Latchkey kids, maybe finding out how many there are in just your neighborhood, or your block, and set up something 1, 2, 3 times a week after school so that the kids can all come to your place and start their homework. Maybe have it where the older, A & B students can help the younger students and even the older Students that aren't as smart that doesn't understand the homework. Sort of a Tutoring Program..

And, to cover costs for snacks and drinks, Parents could pay $2 or $3 for each day that the kids are there. Say the kid gets to your house at 3:50 pm, and is there until 5:30. You give them a snack and a glass of Juice or a can of pop around 4:30. You won't have to feed them dinner, and you make it clear that no child is to stay past 6 pm UNLESS the parent calls before 6 pm because of a Medical Emergency. Having to work late is not an excuse, they will have to find someone else to take care of the children. And, if they have more than 1 child, make that $2-3 per child, and no child under 5/full day kindergarten OR no child below 7th Grade. Whatever age group you are most comfortable with. In my opinion, any child under 12/7th Grade that comes home without a babysitter/Parent waiting for them, needs to have the Parent reported to Child Protection Agency!

Another thought...........

Where you'll probably be with Elsie quite a bit during her trips to the hospital for treatments and everything, there are a lot of people there going thru treatment that can't leave. They have to stay at the hospital from the very start, until the tests come back saying the cancer is in remission, totally gone, or, they die. And a lot of those people doesn't have any family come to see them.

To have someone come in and talk to them, to listen to them, to read to them.......................I know brightens their days up. I do know that some sleeps while they have the treatments done, because my FIL did every time, but, since each time he went in, he would have to sit in that chair for 5-7 hours straight. So, since the person administering the Chemo was my MIL's Niece, they would talk about other family members, or they would joke around A LOT..................................................

Just a couple of Idea's that came to me since I can't sleep.

I DO hope that you will be able to put your mind in the right area to be able to enjoy the Party that they're going to throw for you! There is nothing worse at a party than the Honoree being down in the dumps!!!

Tonia

-------Original Message-------

Thanks, Faye, although I have to say that my current mood is not particularly inspirational. I'm okay, though, and will get through all of this. By the way, that foot in the door that several of you have referred, I have always called "doorway paralysis." Kinda of like either not wanting to leave where you are to go into the next place or just knowing what the next place is and not wanting to go there period (like when you have to go in for a treatment and you linger at the doorway that enters the hospital/clinic).

[Guest guest]

Hi Barb - sorry to be so long in posting back. Elsie's doc sounds great, the kind we all want to have. Elsie's mood also sounds like she is in a good place mentally at this point - a good fighting irish spirit - who would she ever have gotten that from??? I hope that you are still hanging in their with your "fighting irish" spirit... even with the covers over your head. The weather may be playing a part in your mood as of late - nothing like a spring snow storm to cheer one up??? It is minus 22 with the wind chill up here... I think that the groundhog was wrong. and the first time in years he predicted early spring. can't trust a groundhog anymore. Know that I am here for you, always... on what ever level you need. And I sure wish I could do more for you. I know your not very inspired by much right now - but you also know that soon much will inspire you. So, kick back and relax... don't beat yourself

up for anything. I love you... Faye

BARBARA wrote:

Thanks, Faye, although I have to say that my current mood is not particularly inspirational. I'm okay, though, and will get through all of this. By the way, that foot in the door that several of you have referred, I have always called "doorway paralysis." Kinda of like either not wanting to leave where you are to go into the next place or just knowing what the next place is and not wanting to go there period (like when you have to go in for a treatment and you linger at the doorway that enters the hospital/clinic).

I talked with Elsie and the results weren't back yet from the body scan that was done yesterday. I loved hearing her doc's attitude that he approaches every cancer with the intention of going for a complete cure and nothing else. She reemed him out (in a joking way) when she heard that she wouldn't lose weight from the treatment, only her hair. She said that unless he changed what he said that she was going to be writing terrible things about him on the wall of the ladie's rooms throughout the city. Gotta love her. Will have a PET scan on Monday and start chemo on Tuesday....three days on and eighteen days off for 4 - 6 (max) rounds. Also radiation will start between second and third cycle. Her attitude is good, a fair and healthy amount of denial along with a solid measure of anger (esp about her hair....royally ticked about this.

Very tired here....storm still happening but I shoveled a path to my car so I could get to it (Dr. appt tomorrow morning). Will be less digging out that way tomorrow morning. Gonna crash. Love you and everyone here. BarbaraFAYE PAPPLE-MURRAY wrote:

Barbara, you never cease to amaze me at your outlook and stamina for the best that life has to offer you. I really have the feeling that when one door closes another will open.... and quite possibly the door closing is a "screen door" - and I'll bet that most of your co-workers will be keeping one of their own feet in the door.... they might lose you on one hand - but they won't let you be "all gone for good". You are truly an inspiration to me and I thank you for showing me that there are so many things for me to look forward to. It is an honour to know you.

My continued prayers for you and Elsie & Leah. I am here for you 24/7 .

I love you my dear friend. FayeBARBARA wrote:

Thanks, all, for the support. Gonna exercise my prerogative to write a group note here although it in no way lessens my degree of gratitude to everyone as individuals.

[Guest guest]

glad to hear that the cancer is not anywhere else. how much chemo is

elsie goig to get. when i had the massive chemo. it was 5 straight

days. 24 hours a day. 5 f u and cystplatim. nasty stuff. so sick. i

hd this four times. man was i sick. now i get chemo onece a month. not

strong. i will not allow it. i still get sick . can you start applying

for medicaid now. start asking for help before you run out. write

when ever you can. scream at me when you need to. iam here. love ya

cathy