Re: What really drives me crazy

[Guest guest]

> Absolute hysterics " MOM! MOM! MOM! " And all I did was walk from the

> kitchen to the bathroom, about 10 feet. : / My ASD kids didn't care

> where I was. I could have left the house and they wouldn't have

> noticed.

>

My two ASD kids were and are very much attached.

I think it is simply a matter of whether or not you are the object of their

obsession.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> Absolute hysterics " MOM! MOM! MOM! " And all I did was walk from the

> kitchen to the bathroom, about 10 feet. : / My ASD kids didn't care

> where I was. I could have left the house and they wouldn't have

> noticed.

>

My two ASD kids were and are very much attached.

I think it is simply a matter of whether or not you are the object of their

obsession.

Salli

[Guest guest]

This definitely doesn't sound like a book you should be reading!!

sue

[Guest guest]

> > I think it is simply a matter of whether or not you are the object

> > of their obsession. >

>

> Well, I rarely disagree with Salli, but I have to here. ;-)

LOL, Raena, I was being a mite silly. Actually I pretty much agree with you

on clingness:

>

> My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of

> sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to

> something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that

> they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue

> themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them.

I remember writing to another list a couple of years ago when Putter was

going through a particularly clingy phase when he would not let me out of my

computer room chair (and I got a lot of email done then) once on my

interpretation of clinginess. I kind of liked what I had said so I actually

went and found it. Putter was about a month short of five at the time I

wrote this:

I have heard from other parents with kids with autism that their child has

trouble separating. Putter is smart enough to know how much he needs me (I

also like to think he loves me). From his point of view, look, here he is,

lost in this strange world with distracting noises and lights and colors.

There is this one person who understands him: STAY WITH HER.

Which I still basically agree with and which basically agrees with Raena.

But I was always bothered by the kids who did not seem deeply attached to

their parents for I believe that that just as most parents love their

kids -- autistic or otherwise -- deeply, so do I believe that most kids --

autistic or otherwise -- love and need their parents. And I believed that

these seemingly detached children also loved their parents. So why?

>

> If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their

> nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering

> and interpreting input). Those are the kids who are detached...and

> even though it's tough to have a child who seems not to care about

> anything around them, the truth is, they care too much...they just

> can't take the stress on their systems.

>

Raena's answer is an excellent one. Much as I have disliked excessive

clinginess I have always known that the opposite would be harder, at least

for me.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> > I think it is simply a matter of whether or not you are the object

> > of their obsession. >

>

> Well, I rarely disagree with Salli, but I have to here. ;-)

LOL, Raena, I was being a mite silly. Actually I pretty much agree with you

on clingness:

>

> My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of

> sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to

> something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that

> they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue

> themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them.

I remember writing to another list a couple of years ago when Putter was

going through a particularly clingy phase when he would not let me out of my

computer room chair (and I got a lot of email done then) once on my

interpretation of clinginess. I kind of liked what I had said so I actually

went and found it. Putter was about a month short of five at the time I

wrote this:

I have heard from other parents with kids with autism that their child has

trouble separating. Putter is smart enough to know how much he needs me (I

also like to think he loves me). From his point of view, look, here he is,

lost in this strange world with distracting noises and lights and colors.

There is this one person who understands him: STAY WITH HER.

Which I still basically agree with and which basically agrees with Raena.

But I was always bothered by the kids who did not seem deeply attached to

their parents for I believe that that just as most parents love their

kids -- autistic or otherwise -- deeply, so do I believe that most kids --

autistic or otherwise -- love and need their parents. And I believed that

these seemingly detached children also loved their parents. So why?

>

> If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their

> nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering

> and interpreting input). Those are the kids who are detached...and

> even though it's tough to have a child who seems not to care about

> anything around them, the truth is, they care too much...they just

> can't take the stress on their systems.

>

Raena's answer is an excellent one. Much as I have disliked excessive

clinginess I have always known that the opposite would be harder, at least

for me.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> > I think it is simply a matter of whether or not you are the object

> > of their obsession. >

>

> Well, I rarely disagree with Salli, but I have to here. ;-)

LOL, Raena, I was being a mite silly. Actually I pretty much agree with you

on clingness:

>

> My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of

> sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to

> something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that

> they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue

> themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them.

I remember writing to another list a couple of years ago when Putter was

going through a particularly clingy phase when he would not let me out of my

computer room chair (and I got a lot of email done then) once on my

interpretation of clinginess. I kind of liked what I had said so I actually

went and found it. Putter was about a month short of five at the time I

wrote this:

I have heard from other parents with kids with autism that their child has

trouble separating. Putter is smart enough to know how much he needs me (I

also like to think he loves me). From his point of view, look, here he is,

lost in this strange world with distracting noises and lights and colors.

There is this one person who understands him: STAY WITH HER.

Which I still basically agree with and which basically agrees with Raena.

But I was always bothered by the kids who did not seem deeply attached to

their parents for I believe that that just as most parents love their

kids -- autistic or otherwise -- deeply, so do I believe that most kids --

autistic or otherwise -- love and need their parents. And I believed that

these seemingly detached children also loved their parents. So why?

>

> If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their

> nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering

> and interpreting input). Those are the kids who are detached...and

> even though it's tough to have a child who seems not to care about

> anything around them, the truth is, they care too much...they just

> can't take the stress on their systems.

>

Raena's answer is an excellent one. Much as I have disliked excessive

clinginess I have always known that the opposite would be harder, at least

for me.

Salli

[Guest guest]

My one year old is the

> cling-on. Pitches a fit if I leave his eyesight.

>

Well, at least THAT is developmentally normal.

Putter does the sitting behind me and burying his face in my back. Or he

seems to be trying to sit on my head.

Salli

[Guest guest]

>

> OMG!!

> That is so totally what it is like here!!!

>

> I think people must think I'm strange because no matter where we

are, home

> or not, I ALWAYS tell Jacqui where I'm going, even if it's 5 ft

away, in the

> same aisle at the bookstore.

>

> Gawd, no wonder I'm a mess.

>

> Penny :/

Yep, Penny! That's it! It is the constant reporting of my

whereabouts or staying within vision that makes me nuts. If he can't

find me, he begins wailing, " MOMMMM! " at the top of his lungs. When

I scream back to tell him where I am (which I already told him before

I left) he thinks by my volume that I am mad! Geesh! I can't win!

Leggs PS I have had people ask me why the hell I always " report in "

and I just smile and say, " Believe me, it's better this way... "

[Guest guest]

> Um, not here.

> Jacqui will have no part of the washing machine.

> We are NOT allowed to run the wash while she is at home.

> All laundry MUST be done while she is gone, and if the washer is

STILL going

> when she arrives home (because of Mom's bad timing), she WILL NOT

enter the

> house.

Well, it is vacuuming here, which doesn't break my heart any as I

HATE to vacuum. Car washes are also out in his presence, hence the

dirty car and filthy house. Nice how I rationalize this, isn't it?

Leggs

[Guest guest]

> Um, not here.

> Jacqui will have no part of the washing machine.

> We are NOT allowed to run the wash while she is at home.

> All laundry MUST be done while she is gone, and if the washer is

STILL going

> when she arrives home (because of Mom's bad timing), she WILL NOT

enter the

> house.

Well, it is vacuuming here, which doesn't break my heart any as I

HATE to vacuum. Car washes are also out in his presence, hence the

dirty car and filthy house. Nice how I rationalize this, isn't it?

Leggs

[Guest guest]

> My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of

> sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to

> something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that

> they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue

> themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them.

>

> If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that

their

> nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop

registering

> and interpreting input).

>

> Raena

Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for

this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs

[Guest guest]

> My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of

> sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to

> something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that

> they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue

> themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them.

>

> If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that

their

> nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop

registering

> and interpreting input).

>

> Raena

Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for

this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs

[Guest guest]

> My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of

> sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to

> something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that

> they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue

> themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them.

>

> If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that

their

> nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop

registering

> and interpreting input).

>

> Raena

Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for

this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs

[Guest guest]

OMG! Ebony just started doing that sticking her head up my butt thing. She

grabs me from behind and hides her head under my shirt and then as I walk

around, she stays right up on me. It is too wierd. LOL

Tamara

mom to Ebony, 5 years old, asd, adhd, bipolar

and , 2, polish (lol)

wife to Terry

>

>Reply-To: parenting_autism

>To: parenting_autism

>Subject: Re: What really drives me crazy

>Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2003 18:18:07 -0000

>

>My two Auties like to have me in sight or hearing range, but they

>don't have to hold on to me. They will if we are in a place they

>haven't seen before, or if the place is just " too much " like

>Walmart. It is funny, will get behind me, put her hands

>around my middle and hides her face in my butt. I always say at

>least I know where she is. will stick with the baby, whether

>he is in the cart or a stroller. He is a good big brother to the

>baby, but could care less about his sister. My one year old is the

>cling-on. Pitches a fit if I leave his eyesight.

>

>Leigh

>

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[Guest guest]

OMG! Ebony just started doing that sticking her head up my butt thing. She

grabs me from behind and hides her head under my shirt and then as I walk

around, she stays right up on me. It is too wierd. LOL

Tamara

mom to Ebony, 5 years old, asd, adhd, bipolar

and , 2, polish (lol)

wife to Terry

>

>Reply-To: parenting_autism

>To: parenting_autism

>Subject: Re: What really drives me crazy

>Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2003 18:18:07 -0000

>

>My two Auties like to have me in sight or hearing range, but they

>don't have to hold on to me. They will if we are in a place they

>haven't seen before, or if the place is just " too much " like

>Walmart. It is funny, will get behind me, put her hands

>around my middle and hides her face in my butt. I always say at

>least I know where she is. will stick with the baby, whether

>he is in the cart or a stroller. He is a good big brother to the

>baby, but could care less about his sister. My one year old is the

>cling-on. Pitches a fit if I leave his eyesight.

>

>Leigh

>

_________________________________________________________________

Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online

http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963

[Guest guest]

> She grabs me from behind and hides her head under my shirt and

> then as I walk around, she stays right up on me. It is too wierd.

> LOL

used to do this when he was little--sometimes in front,

sometimes in back...drove me nuts, too, but I tried to think of it as

a sort of " womb " space for him...he wanted to go back!

Raena (who is trying not to chuckle, but not succeeding...sorry)

[Guest guest]

> She grabs me from behind and hides her head under my shirt and

> then as I walk around, she stays right up on me. It is too wierd.

> LOL

used to do this when he was little--sometimes in front,

sometimes in back...drove me nuts, too, but I tried to think of it as

a sort of " womb " space for him...he wanted to go back!

Raena (who is trying not to chuckle, but not succeeding...sorry)

[Guest guest]

> She grabs me from behind and hides her head under my shirt and

> then as I walk around, she stays right up on me. It is too wierd.

> LOL

used to do this when he was little--sometimes in front,

sometimes in back...drove me nuts, too, but I tried to think of it as

a sort of " womb " space for him...he wanted to go back!

Raena (who is trying not to chuckle, but not succeeding...sorry)

[Guest guest]

LOL

Jacqui LOVES the car wash...well, she doesn't LOVE it, but it gives her kind

of a " rush " I think. ;-)

Most appliances are tolerable now, *sigh*, I have no excuses other than

laundry.

We went from ear covering avoidance, to running to her room, to minor

annoyance " are you DONE yet!!! "

Progress, I guess :-D

Penny

Re: What really drives me crazy

> Um, not here.

> Jacqui will have no part of the washing machine.

> We are NOT allowed to run the wash while she is at home.

> All laundry MUST be done while she is gone, and if the washer is

STILL going

> when she arrives home (because of Mom's bad timing), she WILL NOT

enter the

> house.

Well, it is vacuuming here, which doesn't break my heart any as I

HATE to vacuum. Car washes are also out in his presence, hence the

dirty car and filthy house. Nice how I rationalize this, isn't it?

Leggs

[Guest guest]

LOL

Jacqui LOVES the car wash...well, she doesn't LOVE it, but it gives her kind

of a " rush " I think. ;-)

Most appliances are tolerable now, *sigh*, I have no excuses other than

laundry.

We went from ear covering avoidance, to running to her room, to minor

annoyance " are you DONE yet!!! "

Progress, I guess :-D

Penny

Re: What really drives me crazy

> Um, not here.

> Jacqui will have no part of the washing machine.

> We are NOT allowed to run the wash while she is at home.

> All laundry MUST be done while she is gone, and if the washer is

STILL going

> when she arrives home (because of Mom's bad timing), she WILL NOT

enter the

> house.

Well, it is vacuuming here, which doesn't break my heart any as I

HATE to vacuum. Car washes are also out in his presence, hence the

dirty car and filthy house. Nice how I rationalize this, isn't it?

Leggs

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>

> If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that

their

> nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop

registering

> and interpreting input).

>

> Raena

Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for

this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs

<<<<<<<<

I have to disagree here...not with Raena's statement, but with yours.

Resent may be a harsh word, but you have every right to feel violated and

annoyed. YOU are a person too, damnit, and you need your SPACE!!!!

Can you tell Spring Break has started here?

Penny ;-)

[Guest guest]

Yes, I can tell. How are you doing Penny? Not so good?

Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99)

Lovely husband

-----Mensaje original-----

De: Penny

Enviado el: Martes, 15 de Abril de 2003 11:26 a.m.

Para: parenting_autism

Asunto: RE: Re: What really drives me crazy

>>>>>>>>>

> If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that

their

> nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop

registering

> and interpreting input).

>

> Raena

Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for

this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs

<<<<<<<<

I have to disagree here...not with Raena's statement, but with yours.

Resent may be a harsh word, but you have every right to feel violated

and

annoyed. YOU are a person too, damnit, and you need your SPACE!!!!

Can you tell Spring Break has started here?

Penny ;-)

[Guest guest]

Yes, I can tell. How are you doing Penny? Not so good?

Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99)

Lovely husband

-----Mensaje original-----

De: Penny

Enviado el: Martes, 15 de Abril de 2003 11:26 a.m.

Para: parenting_autism

Asunto: RE: Re: What really drives me crazy

>>>>>>>>>

> If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that

their

> nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop

registering

> and interpreting input).

>

> Raena

Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for

this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs

<<<<<<<<

I have to disagree here...not with Raena's statement, but with yours.

Resent may be a harsh word, but you have every right to feel violated

and

annoyed. YOU are a person too, damnit, and you need your SPACE!!!!

Can you tell Spring Break has started here?

Penny ;-)

[Guest guest]

Yes, I can tell. How are you doing Penny? Not so good?

Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99)

Lovely husband

-----Mensaje original-----

De: Penny

Enviado el: Martes, 15 de Abril de 2003 11:26 a.m.

Para: parenting_autism

Asunto: RE: Re: What really drives me crazy

>>>>>>>>>

> If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that

their

> nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop

registering

> and interpreting input).

>

> Raena

Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for

this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs

<<<<<<<<

I have to disagree here...not with Raena's statement, but with yours.

Resent may be a harsh word, but you have every right to feel violated

and

annoyed. YOU are a person too, damnit, and you need your SPACE!!!!

Can you tell Spring Break has started here?

Penny ;-)

[Guest guest]

When I leave for work, if Boone is home, he pushes me out the door and slams

it behind me. He has always done this and probably always will.

It used to be a little disturbing. I'm used to it now.

These days he allows me to kiss him on the forehead or cheek before I get

pushed out.

The goods part is, when I come home, he's always sitting at the computer and

always greets me with a great big " HI MOM!!! "

It's very nice to be noticed.

This is followed by my asking how school went.

He answers by telling me his schedule, including times for gym, lunch

speech, etc. Then he pushes me away and continues his websurfing until it's

time to eat.

Sissi