Re: What really drives me crazy

April 13, 2003

Am I going to have

> a seventeen year old, acned teen who follows me everywhere? I can't

> take this!

Hmm. I have sixteen year old with nice clear skin who follows me everywhere

talking non-stop. Would the clear skin make a difference? Of course he

needs to lose some weight...

And I have a seven year old who checks up on me constantly but does not

actually follow me.

Salli-

April 13, 2003

> Hmm. I have sixteen year old with nice clear skin who follows me

everywhere

> talking non-stop. Would the clear skin make a difference? Of

course he

> needs to lose some weight...

>

> And I have a seven year old who checks up on me constantly but does

not

> actually follow me.

Oh, Salli, it's, of course, not the acne or the weight, it's the

constant neediness that makes me crazy. And, too, I think, the fact

that I am reading this wonderful, tragic new book about parenting an

Asperger son called Finding Ben by Barbara La Salle. Her son, now

33, reminds me so much of Brandt in these early chapters that it is

uncanny. Yet, because of the foreword, I know that this boy (who

remained undiagnosed until adulthood) ends up in prison, in trouble,

and still a clinging dependent as a 465 pound adult. I think I am

scaring myself by reading it, but I can't help it. I am hooked... It

is like the worst case scenario that runs in my brain all of the

time. The future as it may be...It is a beautiful book, well-

written, and inspiring. She, of course, comes to love this boy as he

is, but I think I am going to shed a few tears in my reading while

she gets herself to that point. This is probably why Brandt tells me

to stop reading those " guide books " (books about autism) because

everytime I do, he gets to find out about new rules. Lol Out of the

mouths of babes, huh? Sorry for the pity party...Leggs

April 13, 2003

(((((((((Kathy)))))))))

Zach is Velcro boy too, usually worse in public. I just get tired of

having a perpetual 1 year old. I'd so love to be able to take the

child locks off the doors, be able to go do a load of laundry without

locking him in his room (which usually spawns a tantrum). We are

having better luck lately with getting him to stay with grandma, but

oh how I know to be locked up in the house.

> After some extensive reflection, I have decided what really makes

me

> nuts about Brandt's diability is his neediness and clinginess.

Since

> birth he has been " Velcro Boy " aka " The Clingon " , and I need some

> space! Now, you all remember that I was a childless 42 year old

when

> we adopted him and used to my own time and space. Babies have

always

> terrified me with their neediness, still do, but I thought they

> outgrew it. Brandt never has. He sits on top of me, hangs on my

arm

> everywhere we go and calls out to me every minute of every day. I

> have told he and my dh that I am changing my name to " Dad " so I

would

> never have to hear my name called again! They, of course, don't

get

> it! LOL I just wish he could walk up to his bedroom by himself

> without fear of leaving me, play at the neighbor's without

returning

> to check on me, or go to sleep without me right there. Does this

> ever get better? He is seven, for heaven's sake! Am I going to

have

> a seventeen year old, acned teen who follows me everywhere? I

can't

> take this! Leggs

April 13, 2003

>

> Now for Pete's sake, why are you called Leggs, anyway?

You know, I don't think I ever confessed this one here. In high

school (late sixties/early seventies) I was on the drill team. We

wore these tiny little wool skirts and white boots to perform in and

of course, our daily clothing consisted of mini skirts. I was pretty

tall (5'7 1/2 " ) and very thin, so the skirts in a small enough size

to fit my waist were even shorter than usual. While I was thin, I

had well-developed legs, like a dancer. Muscular, but thin thighs

and huge calves with a raised instep on the foot. (Legs that my

ballet instructor when I was an adult about crapped over, " They are

the perfect ballerina legs! she gushed. Unfortunately, my dancing

ability and coordination never matched those legs! LOL) Well,

anyhow one of the first perfomances of the season, one of my male

friends began caterwauling from the stands, " Go, Leggs Lankston! " (my

maiden name) and it stuck. Soon everyone called me that, male or

female. I might have escaped it when I went away to college, but my

roommate was a friend from high school, who called me that every time

she talked to me, instead of Kathy. It got so bad that even after

college when I began teaching, people would call the school (my

friends, not students' parents) and ask for Leggs Lankston instead of

Kathy Lankston or Miss Lankston. The school secretary even knew who

to get.

Well, they aren't beautiful dancer's legs anymore, due to age and

cellulite, but they are still pretty damn good for an almost fifty

year old if I say so myself. If I can find a pix of them in the old

days, I will post.

Now, aren't you sorry you asked. Leggs aka Kathy

April 13, 2003