Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > Absolute hysterics " MOM! MOM! MOM! " And all I did was walk from the > kitchen to the bathroom, about 10 feet. : / My ASD kids didn't care > where I was. I could have left the house and they wouldn't have > noticed. > My two ASD kids were and are very much attached. I think it is simply a matter of whether or not you are the object of their obsession. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > Absolute hysterics " MOM! MOM! MOM! " And all I did was walk from the > kitchen to the bathroom, about 10 feet. : / My ASD kids didn't care > where I was. I could have left the house and they wouldn't have > noticed. > My two ASD kids were and are very much attached. I think it is simply a matter of whether or not you are the object of their obsession. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 This definitely doesn't sound like a book you should be reading!! sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > > I think it is simply a matter of whether or not you are the object > > of their obsession. > > > Well, I rarely disagree with Salli, but I have to here. ;-) LOL, Raena, I was being a mite silly. Actually I pretty much agree with you on clingness: > > My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of > sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to > something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that > they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue > themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them. I remember writing to another list a couple of years ago when Putter was going through a particularly clingy phase when he would not let me out of my computer room chair (and I got a lot of email done then) once on my interpretation of clinginess. I kind of liked what I had said so I actually went and found it. Putter was about a month short of five at the time I wrote this: I have heard from other parents with kids with autism that their child has trouble separating. Putter is smart enough to know how much he needs me (I also like to think he loves me). From his point of view, look, here he is, lost in this strange world with distracting noises and lights and colors. There is this one person who understands him: STAY WITH HER. Which I still basically agree with and which basically agrees with Raena. But I was always bothered by the kids who did not seem deeply attached to their parents for I believe that that just as most parents love their kids -- autistic or otherwise -- deeply, so do I believe that most kids -- autistic or otherwise -- love and need their parents. And I believed that these seemingly detached children also loved their parents. So why? > > If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their > nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering > and interpreting input). Those are the kids who are detached...and > even though it's tough to have a child who seems not to care about > anything around them, the truth is, they care too much...they just > can't take the stress on their systems. > Raena's answer is an excellent one. Much as I have disliked excessive clinginess I have always known that the opposite would be harder, at least for me. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > > I think it is simply a matter of whether or not you are the object > > of their obsession. > > > Well, I rarely disagree with Salli, but I have to here. ;-) LOL, Raena, I was being a mite silly. Actually I pretty much agree with you on clingness: > > My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of > sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to > something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that > they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue > themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them. I remember writing to another list a couple of years ago when Putter was going through a particularly clingy phase when he would not let me out of my computer room chair (and I got a lot of email done then) once on my interpretation of clinginess. I kind of liked what I had said so I actually went and found it. Putter was about a month short of five at the time I wrote this: I have heard from other parents with kids with autism that their child has trouble separating. Putter is smart enough to know how much he needs me (I also like to think he loves me). From his point of view, look, here he is, lost in this strange world with distracting noises and lights and colors. There is this one person who understands him: STAY WITH HER. Which I still basically agree with and which basically agrees with Raena. But I was always bothered by the kids who did not seem deeply attached to their parents for I believe that that just as most parents love their kids -- autistic or otherwise -- deeply, so do I believe that most kids -- autistic or otherwise -- love and need their parents. And I believed that these seemingly detached children also loved their parents. So why? > > If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their > nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering > and interpreting input). Those are the kids who are detached...and > even though it's tough to have a child who seems not to care about > anything around them, the truth is, they care too much...they just > can't take the stress on their systems. > Raena's answer is an excellent one. Much as I have disliked excessive clinginess I have always known that the opposite would be harder, at least for me. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > > I think it is simply a matter of whether or not you are the object > > of their obsession. > > > Well, I rarely disagree with Salli, but I have to here. ;-) LOL, Raena, I was being a mite silly. Actually I pretty much agree with you on clingness: > > My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of > sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to > something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that > they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue > themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them. I remember writing to another list a couple of years ago when Putter was going through a particularly clingy phase when he would not let me out of my computer room chair (and I got a lot of email done then) once on my interpretation of clinginess. I kind of liked what I had said so I actually went and found it. Putter was about a month short of five at the time I wrote this: I have heard from other parents with kids with autism that their child has trouble separating. Putter is smart enough to know how much he needs me (I also like to think he loves me). From his point of view, look, here he is, lost in this strange world with distracting noises and lights and colors. There is this one person who understands him: STAY WITH HER. Which I still basically agree with and which basically agrees with Raena. But I was always bothered by the kids who did not seem deeply attached to their parents for I believe that that just as most parents love their kids -- autistic or otherwise -- deeply, so do I believe that most kids -- autistic or otherwise -- love and need their parents. And I believed that these seemingly detached children also loved their parents. So why? > > If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their > nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering > and interpreting input). Those are the kids who are detached...and > even though it's tough to have a child who seems not to care about > anything around them, the truth is, they care too much...they just > can't take the stress on their systems. > Raena's answer is an excellent one. Much as I have disliked excessive clinginess I have always known that the opposite would be harder, at least for me. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 My one year old is the > cling-on. Pitches a fit if I leave his eyesight. > Well, at least THAT is developmentally normal. Putter does the sitting behind me and burying his face in my back. Or he seems to be trying to sit on my head. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > > OMG!! > That is so totally what it is like here!!! > > I think people must think I'm strange because no matter where we are, home > or not, I ALWAYS tell Jacqui where I'm going, even if it's 5 ft away, in the > same aisle at the bookstore. > > Gawd, no wonder I'm a mess. > > Penny :/ Yep, Penny! That's it! It is the constant reporting of my whereabouts or staying within vision that makes me nuts. If he can't find me, he begins wailing, " MOMMMM! " at the top of his lungs. When I scream back to tell him where I am (which I already told him before I left) he thinks by my volume that I am mad! Geesh! I can't win! Leggs PS I have had people ask me why the hell I always " report in " and I just smile and say, " Believe me, it's better this way... " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > Um, not here. > Jacqui will have no part of the washing machine. > We are NOT allowed to run the wash while she is at home. > All laundry MUST be done while she is gone, and if the washer is STILL going > when she arrives home (because of Mom's bad timing), she WILL NOT enter the > house. Well, it is vacuuming here, which doesn't break my heart any as I HATE to vacuum. Car washes are also out in his presence, hence the dirty car and filthy house. Nice how I rationalize this, isn't it? Leggs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > Um, not here. > Jacqui will have no part of the washing machine. > We are NOT allowed to run the wash while she is at home. > All laundry MUST be done while she is gone, and if the washer is STILL going > when she arrives home (because of Mom's bad timing), she WILL NOT enter the > house. Well, it is vacuuming here, which doesn't break my heart any as I HATE to vacuum. Car washes are also out in his presence, hence the dirty car and filthy house. Nice how I rationalize this, isn't it? Leggs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of > sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to > something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that > they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue > themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them. > > If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their > nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering > and interpreting input). > > Raena Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of > sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to > something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that > they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue > themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them. > > If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their > nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering > and interpreting input). > > Raena Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 > My take on it is that kids with autism all have a fair amount of > sensory processing dysfunction, and because of that, they cling to > something that feels safe to them...either an object/activity that > they can obsess over (string, fuzz, puzzle, computer, etc) or glue > themselves to a person they trust to interpret the world for them. > > If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their > nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering > and interpreting input). > > Raena Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 OMG! Ebony just started doing that sticking her head up my butt thing. She grabs me from behind and hides her head under my shirt and then as I walk around, she stays right up on me. It is too wierd. LOL Tamara mom to Ebony, 5 years old, asd, adhd, bipolar and , 2, polish (lol) wife to Terry > >Reply-To: parenting_autism >To: parenting_autism >Subject: Re: What really drives me crazy >Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2003 18:18:07 -0000 > >My two Auties like to have me in sight or hearing range, but they >don't have to hold on to me. They will if we are in a place they >haven't seen before, or if the place is just " too much " like >Walmart. It is funny, will get behind me, put her hands >around my middle and hides her face in my butt. I always say at >least I know where she is. will stick with the baby, whether >he is in the cart or a stroller. He is a good big brother to the >baby, but could care less about his sister. My one year old is the >cling-on. Pitches a fit if I leave his eyesight. > >Leigh > _________________________________________________________________ Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 OMG! Ebony just started doing that sticking her head up my butt thing. She grabs me from behind and hides her head under my shirt and then as I walk around, she stays right up on me. It is too wierd. LOL Tamara mom to Ebony, 5 years old, asd, adhd, bipolar and , 2, polish (lol) wife to Terry > >Reply-To: parenting_autism >To: parenting_autism >Subject: Re: What really drives me crazy >Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2003 18:18:07 -0000 > >My two Auties like to have me in sight or hearing range, but they >don't have to hold on to me. They will if we are in a place they >haven't seen before, or if the place is just " too much " like >Walmart. It is funny, will get behind me, put her hands >around my middle and hides her face in my butt. I always say at >least I know where she is. will stick with the baby, whether >he is in the cart or a stroller. He is a good big brother to the >baby, but could care less about his sister. My one year old is the >cling-on. Pitches a fit if I leave his eyesight. > >Leigh > _________________________________________________________________ Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 > She grabs me from behind and hides her head under my shirt and > then as I walk around, she stays right up on me. It is too wierd. > LOL used to do this when he was little--sometimes in front, sometimes in back...drove me nuts, too, but I tried to think of it as a sort of " womb " space for him...he wanted to go back! Raena (who is trying not to chuckle, but not succeeding...sorry) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 > She grabs me from behind and hides her head under my shirt and > then as I walk around, she stays right up on me. It is too wierd. > LOL used to do this when he was little--sometimes in front, sometimes in back...drove me nuts, too, but I tried to think of it as a sort of " womb " space for him...he wanted to go back! Raena (who is trying not to chuckle, but not succeeding...sorry) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 > She grabs me from behind and hides her head under my shirt and > then as I walk around, she stays right up on me. It is too wierd. > LOL used to do this when he was little--sometimes in front, sometimes in back...drove me nuts, too, but I tried to think of it as a sort of " womb " space for him...he wanted to go back! Raena (who is trying not to chuckle, but not succeeding...sorry) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 LOL Jacqui LOVES the car wash...well, she doesn't LOVE it, but it gives her kind of a " rush " I think. ;-) Most appliances are tolerable now, *sigh*, I have no excuses other than laundry. We went from ear covering avoidance, to running to her room, to minor annoyance " are you DONE yet!!! " Progress, I guess :-D Penny Re: What really drives me crazy > Um, not here. > Jacqui will have no part of the washing machine. > We are NOT allowed to run the wash while she is at home. > All laundry MUST be done while she is gone, and if the washer is STILL going > when she arrives home (because of Mom's bad timing), she WILL NOT enter the > house. Well, it is vacuuming here, which doesn't break my heart any as I HATE to vacuum. Car washes are also out in his presence, hence the dirty car and filthy house. Nice how I rationalize this, isn't it? Leggs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 LOL Jacqui LOVES the car wash...well, she doesn't LOVE it, but it gives her kind of a " rush " I think. ;-) Most appliances are tolerable now, *sigh*, I have no excuses other than laundry. We went from ear covering avoidance, to running to her room, to minor annoyance " are you DONE yet!!! " Progress, I guess :-D Penny Re: What really drives me crazy > Um, not here. > Jacqui will have no part of the washing machine. > We are NOT allowed to run the wash while she is at home. > All laundry MUST be done while she is gone, and if the washer is STILL going > when she arrives home (because of Mom's bad timing), she WILL NOT enter the > house. Well, it is vacuuming here, which doesn't break my heart any as I HATE to vacuum. Car washes are also out in his presence, hence the dirty car and filthy house. Nice how I rationalize this, isn't it? Leggs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 >>>>>>>>> > If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their > nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering > and interpreting input). > > Raena Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs <<<<<<<< I have to disagree here...not with Raena's statement, but with yours. Resent may be a harsh word, but you have every right to feel violated and annoyed. YOU are a person too, damnit, and you need your SPACE!!!! Can you tell Spring Break has started here? Penny ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 Yes, I can tell. How are you doing Penny? Not so good? Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99) Lovely husband -----Mensaje original----- De: Penny Enviado el: Martes, 15 de Abril de 2003 11:26 a.m. Para: parenting_autism Asunto: RE: Re: What really drives me crazy >>>>>>>>> > If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their > nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering > and interpreting input). > > Raena Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs <<<<<<<< I have to disagree here...not with Raena's statement, but with yours. Resent may be a harsh word, but you have every right to feel violated and annoyed. YOU are a person too, damnit, and you need your SPACE!!!! Can you tell Spring Break has started here? Penny ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 Yes, I can tell. How are you doing Penny? Not so good? Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99) Lovely husband -----Mensaje original----- De: Penny Enviado el: Martes, 15 de Abril de 2003 11:26 a.m. Para: parenting_autism Asunto: RE: Re: What really drives me crazy >>>>>>>>> > If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their > nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering > and interpreting input). > > Raena Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs <<<<<<<< I have to disagree here...not with Raena's statement, but with yours. Resent may be a harsh word, but you have every right to feel violated and annoyed. YOU are a person too, damnit, and you need your SPACE!!!! Can you tell Spring Break has started here? Penny ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 Yes, I can tell. How are you doing Penny? Not so good? Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99) Lovely husband -----Mensaje original----- De: Penny Enviado el: Martes, 15 de Abril de 2003 11:26 a.m. Para: parenting_autism Asunto: RE: Re: What really drives me crazy >>>>>>>>> > If they can't do that--if the sensory input is so intense that their > nervous systems cannot cope with it, they shut down (stop registering > and interpreting input). > > Raena Raena, As always, you have the logical, sensible explanation for this. I shouldn't resent it, that is just the way he is...Leggs <<<<<<<< I have to disagree here...not with Raena's statement, but with yours. Resent may be a harsh word, but you have every right to feel violated and annoyed. YOU are a person too, damnit, and you need your SPACE!!!! Can you tell Spring Break has started here? Penny ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 When I leave for work, if Boone is home, he pushes me out the door and slams it behind me. He has always done this and probably always will. It used to be a little disturbing. I'm used to it now. These days he allows me to kiss him on the forehead or cheek before I get pushed out. The goods part is, when I come home, he's always sitting at the computer and always greets me with a great big " HI MOM!!! " It's very nice to be noticed. This is followed by my asking how school went. He answers by telling me his schedule, including times for gym, lunch speech, etc. Then he pushes me away and continues his websurfing until it's time to eat. Sissi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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